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Short filmTranscript
00:00:05this is a love story love it's supposed to be patient and kind but let's be honest it's
00:00:16irrational it can make us crazy and sometimes downright insane i should know my husband made
00:00:25me small no it's not a metaphor he made me six inches tall i'm literally the size of a dry
00:00:42martini shaken stirred and nursing the burn of every sip even at our ugliest i still believe
00:00:53our love's worth fighting for but fair warning it's going to get worse before it gets better
00:01:05to us to us
00:01:13to recapturing magic to the journey not the destination
00:01:18and to dr carmichael couples therapist extraordinaire to her words of wisdom
00:01:24it's speaking of the journey it was bumpy
00:01:28yeah a few potholes yeah yeah checked into separate rooms um but i am working through my narcissistic
00:01:37tendencies and i am working on my accountability issues and here we are we made it got to the next
00:01:45stop dr carmichael's new year new us colon a grand gesture i'd like to go first okay great
00:02:01i've arranged to get the vermont gang back together at the gray house on new year's eve for our anniversary
00:02:07so we can renew our vows new year new us
00:02:14i'm speechless
00:02:16we were so happy there
00:02:20really really are gary and meg gonna be there they're giving up cabo
00:02:24lulu
00:02:25our daughter has not returned my call oh she's 18 she will they don't do phones always send a text
00:02:30okay
00:02:30okay my turn okay this will be but the last christmas that we spend in st louis because i
00:02:39have listed our house with the contingency to run it back from the bio through next december i'm going
00:02:44to land this big fish and tomorrow i'm going to get eld smith to bankroll the final stage of my
00:02:50life's
00:02:50work so that in one year lindy we can move back to the gray house permanently like i promised years
00:02:57ago a clean slate and a fresh start i supported you and you got your prize and all i ask
00:03:05is that for
00:03:06one more year you support me so i can get mine are you serious the listing went up today
00:03:19is this real very
00:03:25less
00:03:29i love you lindy i love you too
00:03:42thank you thank you for inviting me back into our bed
00:04:09how does one solve the problem of feeding the world
00:04:14only less little john knows now what if we could take say an ear of corn and shrink it to
00:04:22a fraction
00:04:22of its original size just imagine a farmer could grow ten a hundred a thousand ears of corn in the
00:04:30space it takes to grow one but how does cellular reduction work my revolutionary molecular
00:04:37transformation process fundamentally changes the distance between atoms oh the real question is
00:04:44can you restore the corn cob to regular size after it's been miniaturized not only can we do it we
00:04:50will
00:04:50do it together helton smith we can make more with less that's l e s i'll take it from here
00:05:00less okay
00:05:05now it's time to blow your minds
00:05:12you call this the mini barn card no one calls it that it's just me see i grew up on
00:05:18a farm rich
00:05:45you call this the future
00:05:50you call this the future
00:06:02i am
00:06:05fucking amazed
00:06:08there's a corner there's a truck here look how tiny it is it's being tiny
00:06:12it's incredible i got you you did you really did it's crazy oh amazing again make it big i want
00:06:20to taste it
00:06:22oh a big coin takes a big investment oh there he is money man chiming in well go on uh
00:06:29you know uh
00:06:30flavor saver was a huge step forward it was the first and the best gmo tomato on the market but
00:06:37it was a
00:06:37failure well no it wasn't it was a breakthrough but it tasted like old band-aids admit it no i
00:06:46don't think
00:06:46i will admit it or i walk no
00:06:56i don't think it's going to be a failure i got you yes you did hilton but this agrotech
00:07:03is going to change the world jinx and just think this is only the beginning sorry who are you vivian
00:07:09hilton's chief scientist i'm the guts i just write the checks she's the brains and my guts never make
00:07:16mistakes i mean i would write you a check right now but for some reason i'm just not feeling yummy
00:07:26in my tummy
00:07:29you me who are you is this a true question i don't know is it well who are you i'm
00:07:38awesome i'm hilton
00:07:40well i'm awesome i'm less yeah i'm gonna need more
00:07:52you like it yeah i'm gonna lose my house
00:08:14hey hey uh something quietly revealed itself to me oh what's that maria's staff pick
00:08:24my rainbow starts with black it's a poet surprise winning novel by the one the only lindy mcmichael
00:08:30little john that's a lifetime ago 18 years and still a fan fave listen richie um we need to talk
00:08:42oh no yeah no we've just begun richie hold on this is just the first act not turn this into
00:08:50a tragedy
00:08:52tragedy is a better story oh i wish they had a section on how to repair an emotional affair
00:09:00you really saw me when i needed it the most yeah and and you really gave me that emotional intimacy
00:09:08that i craved you know you were a great shoulder an ear you're so handsome young smart and maybe in
00:09:19another life but but i fell in love
00:09:24and you i fell in less hell yes why less knows the real me the worst of me and he
00:09:33he still loves me
00:09:35i could love the worst you no he has 20 years on you and you've known me like a few
00:09:41months six and a
00:09:42half less he made a grand gesture and he promised me a fresh start and i believe him why no
00:09:52no no
00:09:53actually don't say love should remain a mystery my mom told me that okay i'm gonna go
00:10:01just wait wait wait this oh god i got you this christmas present absolutely cannot accept this
00:10:07you must or it means our love was in vain not love okay okay okay just open the card first
00:10:13there is no need
00:10:14you need to thank me okay
00:10:31merry christmas my love
00:10:33in anticipation of the new year new you and new us i thought this would be a great start
00:10:40open the present i'll wait
00:10:52i hate this rag i know you hate this rag but i knew you'd never send it in yourself give
00:10:58it a
00:10:58quick read see if you recognize it
00:11:02oh richie no no no what have you done i presented to be your book agent your story is gonna
00:11:09be in the
00:11:10new yorker no no i didn't write this i'm fucked i know it's overwhelming and i'm sure you don't
00:11:19oh that's richie no no no no oh my
00:11:24fuck oh oh shit shit shit shit oh
00:11:27pick up pick up
00:11:30terry oh okay there is a story there's a story in new york with my name on it
00:11:36and i need you to call me back this is an emergency for sirius this time call me back
00:11:41oh
00:11:53shut the door why
00:11:55because i want to raise my voice
00:11:58jesus jumping crackers why would you invite hilton to your charity event at your home tonight
00:12:05because he wants to know who i am but lindy will be there and i'm sorry am i the only
00:12:10one that
00:12:10remembers last year the the the the silent auction the pool incident and you're still serving alcohol
00:12:15this year right count me out i'm sorry i cannot watch
00:12:21i don't think that my heart or my stomach can tolerate another interaction with him but we are broke
00:12:29and here's all we have there are no more interested investors less with hilton's kind of cash you
00:12:36know what lindy and i are fine now we're good even and we're renewing our vows new year new us
00:12:42yes you said that last year this year it's gonna stick you sleeping in the same bed yes just sleeping
00:12:48sleeping plus big plus small plus it feels so much better if it was big we're on the road to
00:12:55big
00:12:55i promise you um okay lindy it's me it's me calling you um i'm not panicking but just call me
00:13:02back before the party okay it's not an emergency but it's an emergency oh so sorry um my uh my
00:13:09polyp
00:13:09is gone yeah but there's a hole in my heart now sounds like a case for the bard's guard so
00:13:14i'll be
00:13:15unable to attend your party this evening our loss good luck richard
00:13:42you're not jackie i'm hell don't make me raise it who are you i'm professor little john jackie's
00:13:48professor did she leave for break already have i missed her i hope not because i'm her
00:13:51ride jackie professor little john yeah lindy you should call me lindy oh uh hell uh professor
00:13:59little john is the reason that i'm here oh you wrote that book she loves i didn't read it no
00:14:06offense none taken jackie i'm so glad i caught you can we talk yeah just real quick oh you mean
00:14:13without
00:14:13me i do oh is it okay oh yeah is it rude no offense but sure okay okay um have
00:14:23i done something wrong
00:14:24professor little joe oh no no gosh no no i have i have i um i need to tell you
00:14:33something uh
00:14:37i loved your short story untitled on purpose yeah that's the one yeah i loved it it was brilliant
00:14:45and the prose was incisive oh just the voice fresh distinguished rare one that deserves the attention
00:14:53of the new york literati i mean that that means the world to me professor little john it's almost
00:15:01it's almost christmas and you're at my door complimenting my work i oh my gosh i couldn't
00:15:05ask for a better okay listen to me listen to me yes you need to turn it into a novel
00:15:09right now
00:15:13now really really now mm-hmm um i guess i could get started over the break no you need to
00:15:19take next
00:15:20semester off and just write the whole semester the whole semester you just want to isolate and
00:15:27write while it's fresh while it's here while untitled on purpose is coursing through you right
00:15:32yes i feel it okay so you need to isolate and write uh no distractions no internet no novels no
00:15:38magazines no uh nothing right nothing and just all winter long a very a room of one's own wolf it
00:15:45right right well fantastic could you do that yes well oh well how's dad my uncle flip he has a
00:15:50cabin back in montana that's super isolated well then pond isolated that's perfect right yes jackie
00:15:58this has the potential to be your my rainbow starts with black no professor little john it it couldn't
00:16:07jackie i should know my goal in life is to just write one one great novel like you
00:16:16so we're agreed you're gonna isolate and write yes all semester all semester you're going to montana
00:16:23yes remember no magazines right no you don't want any uh just turn off the internet okay i will unplug
00:16:31completely yes okay hey merry christmas merry christmas to you too
00:16:47oh
00:16:48oh terry thank christ okay listen i
00:17:03video 10 minutes blindsiding me with one short story published in the new york over the last two
00:17:08decades gets you one the fact that we've been friends for more than 20 years gets you another
00:17:12and the other eight belong to gillian flynn who continues to publish bestsellers which bought
00:17:16me a classic six off the park i didn't write the story it's my students work
00:17:24my ex-emotional lover long story found the fucking story in my bag and thought it was mine and i
00:17:30why would i correct him you know he sent it in without my knowledge on my behalf because he long
00:17:39story adored me and thought i was capable of writing something great again i'm taking a sabbatical from
00:17:44washu i'm headed to the gray house les and i are going to renew our vows long story you're invited
00:17:49i know
00:17:51you hate him i did too but he is a good dad and i'm committed to committing to my marriage
00:17:57so i cannot
00:17:59handle this shit storm right now which is sure by the way to tarnish your reputation as well so if
00:18:05you
00:18:05want to keep that classic six then can you please please fix this fucking mess so i can focus on
00:18:12my
00:18:12vows and my marriage like i promised i hate you i know i hate me too thank you no no
00:18:21you're not allowed
00:18:21thank me
00:18:28Audemars!
00:18:47Les has been calling, I've been texting
00:18:49And I have been busy
00:18:50Les needs you on best behavior tonight
00:18:53Hilton Smith is attending
00:18:55Condescending as always, Starla
00:18:56And who?
00:18:58Necessary, and he is a big investor
00:19:00You know, I thought the cover was on the pool last year
00:19:03Right? You know that
00:19:04Great! You already picked up the first frame to meet it, dude
00:19:06Yep
00:19:07It's locked
00:19:08I know
00:19:10Is this another party protest?
00:19:11No
00:19:11Hilton is here in five
00:19:13Starla
00:19:14Your dress is upstairs, I need you inside
00:19:15Now
00:19:16What dress?
00:19:17Les had me assess your wardrobe situation
00:19:18And we both agreed that the only option was to outsource an upgrade
00:19:22Insulting?
00:19:24And what if I hate it?
00:19:25Your futures are on the line
00:19:27He said to me, quote
00:19:28No new year, new us without new money
00:19:31Unquote
00:19:32So please, just move
00:19:34Get out of the car
00:19:35Now
00:19:37Goodbye, Starla
00:19:38I will have the valet physically remove you
00:19:43I need a minute!
00:19:46One minute!
00:19:49You need a Hulk out front?
00:19:51Stat
00:20:19Come on, tell me what Les is working on
00:20:21This is the cover of Scientific American
00:20:24He tells me nothing
00:20:25Yes
00:20:27And you never ask
00:20:28Bullshit money
00:20:29I have printed that same quote from you ten times over the years
00:20:32All I'll say is First Rule of Fight Club
00:20:34Lynn
00:20:36And outdated
00:20:37Just like Scientific American
00:20:49Vodka dry
00:20:58Oh, thank you
00:21:07Big Red has landed
00:21:10Where's Lindy?
00:21:11I need eyes on Lady Tomato
00:21:12Helton?
00:21:13Give me a 20 on Deep Pockets
00:21:16Double negative
00:21:16Big Red is not happy
00:21:18I know amazing style when I see it
00:21:22This is a facade
00:21:23Oh, well, the facade is working
00:21:26I'm teetering on the precipice of being outed as a fraud
00:21:31Which I probably deserve
00:21:33I'm supposed to be the supportive wife
00:21:37But, uh, my career going up in flames is banging around my brain
00:21:42That's all I can hear
00:21:43What does your husband think about that?
00:21:45Oh, he has no clue
00:21:46He's a fraud too
00:21:49Is that so?
00:21:50Mm-hmm
00:21:52Welcome everyone
00:21:55Uh, every year
00:21:56Um, I say I'm gonna keep it short
00:21:58And that this night is not about me
00:22:00It's about the children
00:22:02And tonight I'm actually gonna keep that promise
00:22:04But, you know, let's be honest
00:22:06Um, it has to be about me first
00:22:08Because you're all here to bid on my stuff
00:22:10Ha ha
00:22:11Well, he's just
00:22:12Playing the role of a charitable philanthropist
00:22:17But all he really cares about is his life's work
00:22:20First
00:22:21Himself second
00:22:22Our daughter third
00:22:23Me last
00:22:24Which
00:22:24I probably deserve
00:22:25Well, just curious
00:22:27What do you think about his life's work?
00:22:30And a very personal little ditty about Jack and Diane
00:22:34And my John Cougar Mellencamp Velcro wallet
00:22:37With my high school ID still inside
00:22:40Huh?
00:22:41Where else are you gonna get one of those?
00:22:43I can't tell you that
00:22:46It's so top secret
00:22:47I actually have no idea what it is
00:22:49Oh
00:22:50Hold on a second
00:22:50My top elf is really trying to tell me something
00:22:53Lady Tomato and the Brando
00:22:55Deepak is two drinks in
00:22:56Third on deck
00:22:56You're fucking joking
00:22:57Are you fucking fired?
00:22:59I'll turn to my headset
00:23:02But I can tell you
00:23:06He's brilliant
00:23:08Don't tell him I said that
00:23:10Yeah
00:23:11I mean, I'm already last
00:23:12You know, what's after last?
00:23:15Not much
00:23:16So, yeah
00:23:18Merry Christmas and happy holidays
00:23:21And hopefully that covers it all
00:23:24Okay
00:23:26Less five minutes
00:23:27No
00:23:27Two
00:23:28One
00:23:28Later
00:23:29Maybe
00:23:29Done
00:23:29Everybody was out
00:23:31No, no
00:23:32I'm just explaining to this gentleman
00:23:33Why there's no outdoor access
00:23:35This holiday season
00:23:36So, as a joke
00:23:37Last year
00:23:38I put into the silent auction
00:23:39As a joke
00:23:40Watch Almighty Les
00:23:42Walk on water
00:23:44I thought the cover was on the pool
00:23:46Oh
00:23:46It was out
00:23:47I'm so sorry
00:23:49You get it
00:23:59No
00:24:00No
00:24:01Oh, great
00:24:01So I can still get the money
00:24:04After the conversation
00:24:05With your wife
00:24:08I don't know
00:24:09Hilton, I didn't know
00:24:10Okay, Lindy
00:24:11Why don't you just not say anything
00:24:12And maybe go and get us a lot of drinks
00:24:16Okay, so Hilton
00:24:17I don't know what she said
00:24:18Well, she said that
00:24:19You put work first
00:24:20Family third
00:24:21And her did last
00:24:22That's out of context
00:24:24What kind of man are you?
00:24:25I know
00:24:26No, I just
00:24:26I can't explain
00:24:27I can't
00:24:31You never explain
00:24:32Anything
00:24:33I got you
00:24:34Again
00:24:35Again
00:24:36You suck at this
00:24:37I do, I do, I do
00:24:38So just to be clear
00:24:39Lindy didn't tank the deal
00:24:40She closed it
00:24:42Now she's awesome
00:24:44Workaholics
00:24:45They changed the world
00:24:46I'm a workaholic
00:24:47I should know
00:24:48Thank you
00:24:49Thank you so much
00:24:50Thank you so much
00:24:51I want to go to work right away
00:24:52Like, fuck the holidays
00:24:53Yeah
00:24:53Put it on my Christmas card
00:24:55Every year
00:24:55Yeah, you really see me
00:24:56We both do
00:24:57Oh, it's you again
00:24:58Hilton's chief scientist
00:25:00Oh, the brains
00:25:01And the boots
00:25:02The boots
00:25:03The boots on the ground
00:25:04What do the boots do?
00:25:05The boots ensure
00:25:07That my guts are never wrong
00:25:09The boots are part of the deal
00:25:12I'm all in
00:25:12Are you?
00:25:14Awesome
00:25:14Bless
00:25:21Fine, just
00:25:22Just tell me
00:25:23I'm melting down
00:25:24Because I fucked the deal
00:25:26Because I fucked the deal
00:25:26No, I closed the deal
00:25:27I closed the deal
00:25:28Fantastic
00:25:29No
00:25:29What do you mean no?
00:25:31That's so great
00:25:32Oh my god
00:25:32I was so worried
00:25:33No, now
00:25:34I am saddled
00:25:35With one of Hilton's network
00:25:37Of bio spies
00:25:38His chief scientist
00:25:39Is gonna come in
00:25:40And she's gonna take credit
00:25:41For my work
00:25:42And all of this
00:25:42Will have been for nothing
00:25:43I will be nothing
00:25:45My legacy will be nothing
00:25:47I shall go to the grave
00:25:48Without a Nobel
00:25:48You know
00:25:49This was
00:25:50My last chance
00:25:51At greatness
00:25:52God
00:25:54Hey, hey, hey, hey
00:25:56Hey, hey
00:25:57Hey
00:25:59Come on
00:26:00You remember
00:26:01Joan Ryan
00:26:03Huh?
00:26:04Yeah
00:26:05My nemesis at MIT
00:26:06That's right
00:26:07You were convinced
00:26:09That the PhD board
00:26:10Was gonna
00:26:11Pick her over you
00:26:12And you were gonna be
00:26:13Relegated to just a footnote
00:26:15In the science community
00:26:16Or some other science
00:26:17Bad thing, right?
00:26:17But what
00:26:19Actually happened, Les?
00:26:22They chose me
00:26:23They chose you
00:26:25And where's Joan Ryan?
00:26:27Teaching at Berkeley
00:26:28And where are you?
00:26:32In St. Louis
00:26:33But why?
00:26:34Oh, uh
00:26:36To give the finger
00:26:37To those ungrateful pricks
00:26:39At Monsanto
00:26:39And to build
00:26:40The Menlo Park
00:26:41Of the Midwest
00:26:41And how?
00:26:43How?
00:26:43Because I am
00:26:44I am a partner
00:26:45Of my own company
00:26:45Creating
00:26:46The bio-agrotech
00:26:47That will change the world
00:26:48That's right
00:26:48Yeah
00:26:48You're gonna change the world
00:26:52And you are
00:26:54I've always believed that
00:26:55Even when you hated me
00:26:57Oh
00:27:00Especially when I hated you
00:27:02So what do I do?
00:27:04You do what you always do
00:27:06You get back in the workshop
00:27:09And you figure it out
00:27:11That's what Les Little John does
00:27:13Yeah
00:27:14Right?
00:27:15Yeah
00:27:16Right
00:27:17Okay
00:27:18Okay
00:27:19Okay
00:27:20That's it
00:27:22That's it
00:27:22Thank you
00:27:23Thank you for being so
00:27:25Understanding
00:27:26Oh my god
00:27:29So now I gotta get back
00:27:30In the workshop
00:27:30And let's move our
00:27:33Renewing our vows
00:27:34To next year
00:27:34That's a fantastic idea
00:27:35Les?
00:27:36No I didn't
00:27:36What?
00:27:37Huh?
00:27:37That's what you said, right?
00:27:39Huh?
00:27:40Did I?
00:27:41Yeah
00:27:42Gary and Meg
00:27:43Oh Gary and Meg
00:27:43Would much prefer to go to Cabo
00:27:45Let's send them something
00:27:46Sign my name
00:27:46No no no
00:27:47We'll be so humiliating
00:27:48Don't worry don't worry
00:27:49I'll tell Lulu
00:27:49That she can just go skiing
00:27:50With her friends
00:27:51Like she wanted
00:27:51So I'll see you when I see you
00:27:52I'll be back when I'm back
00:27:53And I love you
00:27:55And I can't wait for new year
00:27:56New us
00:27:57Next year
00:28:08Is he fucking kidding me?
00:28:28Lindy?
00:28:30Richie
00:28:30Um
00:28:33I made a mistake
00:28:34And I'm leaving Les
00:28:36Tonight
00:28:37I hear the emotion
00:28:38In your voice
00:28:39And it's beautiful
00:28:40I've been hoping
00:28:41For a Christmas miracle
00:28:41Yeah I'm gonna go to Vermont
00:28:43I'm gonna go to the Grey House
00:28:44And I um
00:28:46Could you
00:28:47Could you come with me?
00:28:48Where you finished
00:28:49Your masterpiece
00:28:50I'd be honored
00:28:51To be invited
00:28:52A gift beyond measure
00:28:53I have ten vacation days
00:28:55And one personal day bag
00:28:57Heart emoji
00:28:59Let's meet at Mandy's diner
00:29:01At midnight
00:29:01Heart emoji bag
00:29:03I'll arrive with joy in my step
00:29:05And a light in my heart
00:29:06Did you love my present?
00:29:08The fuck?
00:29:09Pardon?
00:29:10Yeah I
00:29:11I didn't have the
00:29:14Heart to open it
00:29:15So um
00:29:15I'll just
00:29:16Bring it with me okay?
00:29:18New year
00:29:18New you
00:29:19New us
00:29:20Oh is Vermont cold?
00:29:22I get
00:29:43Everybody out in thirty minutes
00:29:45Or Hulk
00:29:45Is gonna see me smash
00:29:49Iceberg ahead
00:29:50Thirty clicks
00:29:50Abandoned ship
00:29:51Lady Tomato about to burst
00:29:53Hey hey hey
00:29:55Les promised me a minute
00:29:59I'll give you twenty
00:30:18Excuse me
00:30:19I thought the boots up my ass
00:30:21Might start after the holidays
00:30:23Martin signed the LOI ASAP
00:30:25And Hilton turned on the money hose
00:30:27In good faith
00:30:27I didn't sign
00:30:28I'm a partner
00:30:29Apparently not the important one
00:30:32Oh
00:30:33Well
00:30:33Now I'm inspired
00:30:35And I would like you
00:30:36To leave
00:30:37A genius needs his space
00:30:39Exactly
00:30:41And I plan on being inspired
00:30:43Throughout the holidays
00:30:44I know this is a difficult transition period
00:30:46I'll give you tonight
00:30:48But I will be back tomorrow
00:30:52Boots on the ground
00:30:53Dr. Littlejohn
00:30:58Fuck me
00:31:34Mills
00:31:35I don't have time
00:31:39She what?
00:32:02You're old
00:32:03Text me
00:32:09Fuck you too
00:32:14Starla
00:32:25Freezers
00:32:26Off limits
00:32:26From now on
00:32:27Until I say
00:32:28I need to regroup
00:32:29Where are you going?
00:32:31I'm leaving you
00:32:32If anyone should be leaving anyone
00:32:34I should be leaving you
00:32:35How's that?
00:32:36For trying to sabotage my career
00:32:38Think I don't know?
00:32:39You don't think Nils will call me
00:32:40For comment?
00:32:40Lindy?
00:32:41Scientific American
00:32:42Not TMZ
00:32:44I'm a hoax
00:32:45I'm threatened by a female scientist
00:32:47Taking credit for my work
00:32:48You mentioned Joan
00:32:50I'm not a misogynist
00:32:51I'm not
00:32:52I'm not intentionally
00:32:53Oh
00:32:54For anything
00:32:54I'm an accidental misogynist
00:32:55And I too blame the patriarchy for that
00:32:57I never said misogynist
00:32:59Why would you do this?
00:33:00Why?
00:33:00You know
00:33:01Why?
00:33:03Is it about Gary?
00:33:04And Meg?
00:33:04This is about you
00:33:06And our marriage
00:33:08And breaking the promise
00:33:09Of step three colon
00:33:10A grand gesture
00:33:11And our daughter who hates me
00:33:13Sucking the life
00:33:15Out of me
00:33:15And my promising writing career
00:33:17Career?
00:33:18Stop!
00:33:19It was one book
00:33:20In the early aughts
00:33:22This is what you did
00:33:22You basically
00:33:23You turned in a book report
00:33:25On your fucked up family
00:33:26You changed the names
00:33:27You added a little bit of
00:33:28Wry sarcasm
00:33:29And then you called a fiction
00:33:30And you got lucky
00:33:31My rainbow starts with black
00:33:34No shit
00:33:35My book report
00:33:36And the subsequent Oscar nominated film
00:33:39It's based on
00:33:40Bought and paid
00:33:41For this extravagantly
00:33:43Sad McMansion
00:33:44In this podunk
00:33:46Red state town
00:33:47You forced us
00:33:48To move to
00:33:49So that you could try
00:33:50To be something other than
00:33:51Mr. Fucking Tomato Head
00:33:53This is the last thing
00:33:55I need right now
00:33:55Oh my god
00:33:56I'm so sorry
00:33:57What is it you need right now?
00:33:59I need you
00:34:00Yeah
00:34:00I need your support
00:34:01This is my last chance
00:34:03You already got your prize
00:34:06And in case you forgot
00:34:08I was by your side
00:34:09For every fucking sentence
00:34:12Every book signing
00:34:13Every interview
00:34:14I held your purse
00:34:15I held my tongue
00:34:16You know
00:34:17I was there for the ride
00:34:18And it wasn't always pleasant
00:34:20You know
00:34:20The rollercoaster of insecurity
00:34:21And emotion
00:34:22Was frankly fucking exhausting
00:34:24I have paid that debt
00:34:26I have been by your side
00:34:28For 15 years
00:34:29You had
00:34:30Flavor saver
00:34:32And it was
00:34:35Insufferable
00:34:35Still is
00:34:37But I didn't get my moment
00:34:38In the spotlight
00:34:39Like you did
00:34:40I didn't get my prize
00:34:42Swing and a miss
00:34:43How is it my fault?
00:34:46How?
00:34:47My apologies
00:34:48Forgive me for being ambitious
00:34:50Coasting by
00:34:51On a one hit wonder
00:34:53Isn't enough for me
00:34:54Maybe you don't have
00:34:55Another hit in you
00:34:55Huh?
00:34:56Maybe you're one and done
00:34:58Maybe your ego
00:34:59Just won't let you
00:34:59Read the room
00:35:00I would rather be
00:35:01Blinded by my ego
00:35:02Than paralyzed by fear
00:35:04That's me?
00:35:04That's what you think of me?
00:35:05Yeah
00:35:05Because you haven't produced
00:35:06One goddamn sentence
00:35:07In 15 years
00:35:09What kind of magic
00:35:10Do you think you're suddenly
00:35:11Going to find
00:35:11In your beloved grey house?
00:35:12Huh?
00:35:13With me by your side
00:35:14Like an emotional support animal
00:35:16Encouraging you
00:35:17Keeping you calm
00:35:18Because
00:35:18Quote
00:35:19I promise
00:35:19We'd return there
00:35:20One day
00:35:21Unquote
00:35:21I mean
00:35:22I am through
00:35:23Being held
00:35:24Emotionally hostage
00:35:25For your creative
00:35:26Paralysis
00:35:27And there it is
00:35:29Everyone
00:35:30That's our show
00:35:32Same line
00:35:33Every time
00:35:39This
00:35:41Is the
00:35:42Top secret thing
00:35:43You've been working on
00:35:44Give me that
00:35:45Give me that
00:35:45A Tonka truck
00:35:47Is not going to
00:35:48Change the world
00:35:48Let alone
00:35:49Agriculture
00:35:50As we know it
00:35:51You have no idea
00:35:51What you're talking about
00:35:52This is what you said
00:35:53To every female scientist
00:35:54That's never had
00:35:54A better idea
00:35:55You know
00:35:56Most men
00:35:57Overcompensate
00:35:57With a big truck
00:35:58It's nice to see
00:36:00Yours to scale
00:36:07What a gentleman
00:36:08Oh fuck
00:36:10What?
00:36:11Oh no
00:36:12Lindy
00:36:12What?
00:36:15What's your
00:36:15What's your
00:36:15What's your
00:36:16What's your
00:36:16What's your
00:36:31Oh god
00:36:32Oh god
00:36:32Is she dead?
00:36:39Lindy
00:36:41Say something
00:36:42Are you alive?
00:36:43Oh
00:36:45You're alive
00:36:48Fuck you
00:36:49Fuck you
00:36:50Oh
00:37:06Merry Christmas
00:37:08I don't want to
00:37:09I don't want to
00:37:27Last
00:37:30Oh fuck
00:37:36Oh
00:37:37Inside
00:37:37What's that?
00:37:40Is that
00:37:45Oh my god
00:37:47Oh my god
00:37:59How much
00:38:00How much did I drink
00:38:01last night
00:38:02Less
00:38:07Why would you put
00:38:08the plaid back up?
00:38:11God
00:38:11It's my
00:38:12Eyes
00:38:13Eyes
00:38:14In my
00:38:15Head
00:38:19I'll try
00:38:19January starts today
00:38:24Oh
00:38:26Oh
00:38:27Oh
00:38:27Oh wow
00:38:27That really cleaned up
00:38:32Last
00:38:38Who's at the door?
00:38:51What is this nonsense?
00:38:54What is this nonsense?
00:39:00What is this nonsense?
00:39:01No no no no no no
00:39:02Lindy
00:39:03Everything is fine
00:39:06Everything is fine
00:39:06Don't freak out
00:39:07Don't freak out
00:39:11Oh
00:39:12Oh
00:39:13Oh
00:39:14Oh
00:39:16Oh
00:39:17Oh
00:39:17Lindy
00:39:17Oh
00:39:18Oh
00:39:20Oh
00:39:21I'm opening up the dollhouse
00:39:23Stop screaming at me
00:39:25Oh
00:39:29Oh
00:39:30Oh
00:39:30Oh
00:39:40Oh
00:39:41Oh
00:39:42Oh
00:39:45Oh
00:39:46Oh
00:39:47There you are
00:39:48Oh
00:39:49You're okay
00:39:53I am not
00:39:55Okay
00:39:56Can you hear me?
00:39:58I am not okay
00:39:59Can you hear me?
00:40:05I am not okay?
00:40:08It works!
00:40:08I can hear you!
00:40:10You're too loud!
00:40:12Sorry
00:40:13Well now I can't hear you!
00:40:15How about now?
00:40:16No
00:40:16Too loud!
00:40:18Now?
00:40:19Softer
00:40:20No
00:40:20Better
00:40:22I hate this fucking thing
00:40:24I hate this fucking thing
00:40:27Can you hear me now?
00:40:29Say again
00:40:29Can you hear me now?
00:40:31Yes!
00:40:32Oh
00:40:32Sorry sorry
00:40:33I'm so sorry
00:40:34Are you okay?
00:40:36I'm fine
00:40:37I heard that
00:40:38I heard that
00:40:38God I think we got it
00:40:41Hi
00:40:42What the fuck Les?
00:40:44Heard that too
00:40:45Loud and clear
00:40:46Okay
00:40:47Mindy I'm so sorry
00:40:49It was an accident
00:40:50And uh
00:40:51I can't believe it even happened
00:40:52I
00:40:53I
00:40:53But you're incredible
00:40:55I mean
00:40:56You're beautiful
00:41:01Are you smiling right now?
00:41:04No
00:41:04No no no
00:41:05No of course not
00:41:06I just
00:41:06I
00:41:09Just like wow
00:41:11Wow
00:41:12Wow
00:41:13Wow
00:41:14Wow
00:41:14No I apologize
00:41:15You're my wife
00:41:16You're not experimentally
00:41:18I should hope so
00:41:20Jesus
00:41:21Oh my god
00:41:22This is your job?
00:41:24This how you're gonna solve world hunger?
00:41:26You're gonna make everybody tiny
00:41:28So
00:41:28So they don't what?
00:41:30Eat more?
00:41:30I don't
00:41:31Do you want me to answer that?
00:41:33Or
00:41:34Explain it to me
00:41:36Well
00:41:36Um
00:41:38It's called
00:41:38Cellular reduction
00:41:40And um
00:41:41It's the process of miniaturization and restoration
00:41:43Of organic fruit
00:41:45And vegetables
00:41:46And that's how
00:41:47I plan
00:41:48To solve world hunger
00:41:50Explain how you're gonna make me big again
00:41:52Jesus
00:41:53I don't give a shit how it works
00:41:55Oh right well
00:41:55I just reversed the process
00:41:56That's the restoration part
00:41:59Great
00:42:01Restore me
00:42:03Now please
00:42:04I can do that
00:42:05Um
00:42:06Uh
00:42:06But first
00:42:07A surprise
00:42:09Meet me in the dining room
00:42:14Merry Christmas Lindy
00:42:16Les
00:42:16Do I look
00:42:17Merry
00:42:18Or hungry
00:42:20Well it's kinda hard to tell from this distance
00:42:22Um
00:42:22I'm not
00:42:23Make me big again
00:42:25Now
00:42:26Heard that
00:42:26Loud and clear
00:42:27Um
00:42:28The thing is
00:42:29Tell me you can make me big again Les
00:42:31I can
00:42:32And I will
00:42:33Um
00:42:33The thing is
00:42:34That it's just
00:42:35I think
00:42:36It's just gonna take a day
00:42:37Uh
00:42:38Or two
00:42:38Tops
00:42:39But you'll be fine
00:42:40Everything's gonna be okay
00:42:41You're healthy
00:42:42I checked your vitals
00:42:44Wait I could die
00:42:45Tiny
00:42:46No
00:42:47You're not gonna die
00:42:48Tiny
00:42:50You'll be safe in the dollhouse
00:42:52Because it's almost exactly the same as our house house
00:42:55Um
00:42:56The stove works
00:42:58The refrigerator works
00:42:59There's food
00:43:00The water runs
00:43:02And
00:43:02I shrunk a few of your favorite things to really make you feel at home home
00:43:06Your clothes
00:43:07From your closet
00:43:10Um
00:43:11And
00:43:12Uh
00:43:12This
00:43:13Curling thing
00:43:16And
00:43:17Your hairbrush
00:43:18Uh
00:43:19Cold cream
00:43:20Looked important
00:43:22Oh
00:43:23And I remembered your coffee
00:43:24And the coffee maker
00:43:25Worked perfectly right
00:43:26Oh
00:43:27One crucial thing
00:43:28Um
00:43:28The toilet
00:43:29Uh it works
00:43:30I figured it out
00:43:31Just don't ever look in the hall closet
00:43:33Downstairs
00:43:34Ever
00:43:35You will be restored to regular size
00:43:37I promise it
00:43:38This is just temporary Lindy
00:43:39I am so close
00:43:41Truly
00:43:42Now it's so close
00:43:45Not a day
00:43:46Or two
00:43:47Tops
00:43:48Less
00:43:49You motherfuckers
00:43:53Hey
00:43:53Calm down
00:43:57Calm fucking down
00:44:18Little
00:44:19Oh
00:44:37Whaaa
00:44:43You can, you can refilm the ladies' cup too.
00:44:47She's on her way.
00:44:49She's gone back to her husband.
00:44:50No.
00:44:51They always do.
00:44:52Not this time.
00:44:53No, no, no, no.
00:44:53Cause we've got plans.
00:44:55Yep.
00:44:56We got concrete plans.
00:45:01How about a 10-day getaway to Vermont for two?
00:45:07Uber romantic.
00:45:15There are multiple reasons you could be late.
00:45:18No, I know Lindy's coming.
00:45:19Why?
00:45:20You may ask.
00:45:21Because our love story is woven into the fabric of time.
00:45:26Destined to be written.
00:45:29Immortalized for generations to come.
00:45:33Quiet, everybody, please.
00:45:34Quiet, please!
00:45:36Sorry.
00:45:37Oh.
00:45:39It's work.
00:45:40It's work.
00:45:42It's work.
00:45:42Hey, Martin.
00:45:44Well, I, you know, I was, I was going to head out of town, so.
00:45:48No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:45:49Of course, of course.
00:45:50I'll just, I'll head into the, into the lab.
00:45:55No, I've not heard from us.
00:45:58Wait, what do you mean you can't get a hold of them?
00:46:02Yeah, okay, bye.
00:46:03Does this mean your romantic getaway is canceled?
00:46:07Bart, can I be honest?
00:46:08I love your service, but I don't love the negative energy.
00:46:11No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:46:13I'm sorry.
00:46:15He's suffering?
00:46:21Take those off.
00:46:22I feel like a specimen.
00:46:24And come closer.
00:46:25I don't want to keep yelling.
00:46:30Jesus, the 96th?
00:46:32If there was ever a time.
00:46:34I know why you didn't tell me about your work.
00:46:37Well, I couldn't. It was top secret.
00:46:39I signed an ironclad NDA.
00:46:41It's bullshit.
00:46:43You didn't trust me.
00:46:45Which makes me so...
00:46:47sad.
00:46:49Makes me so sad.
00:46:52Fuck you.
00:46:54But...
00:46:54Yeah.
00:46:59Well, I didn't exactly hide it from you either.
00:47:02What?
00:47:04Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:07They are so cute!
00:47:11Wait.
00:47:12And legible?
00:47:14Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:17They're so cute.
00:47:19Oh, and functional.
00:47:21Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:24How cute.
00:47:26And accurate.
00:47:28The dent from when I sideswiped the mailbox.
00:47:33Never put it together.
00:47:35You also said you didn't want to know.
00:47:39Well, you're not leaving me.
00:47:41Well, I have to go so I can fix you.
00:47:43No, no, no.
00:47:44No, Les.
00:47:45Take me with you.
00:47:46I'm portable.
00:47:47You'll be safer here in the dollhouse.
00:47:48I feel very not safe.
00:47:50I feel very small and like something bad could happen.
00:47:54I won't let something happen.
00:47:55Something did.
00:47:56Something else beyond the accident.
00:47:59But I have to go to the lab so I can fix you.
00:48:01Please, Les. I do not want to be alone.
00:48:03Please, I'm scared.
00:48:04Well, what if I can show you that, um, being small isn't scary?
00:48:09Oh, God.
00:48:10I've always wondered what the world would look like if I were six inches tall.
00:48:13Not me.
00:48:15I can show you.
00:48:16No, I, I don't.
00:48:18Aren't you just a little bit curious?
00:48:20I will be restored to regular size soon.
00:48:24I promise.
00:48:25Trust me.
00:48:26You.
00:48:29Okay.
00:48:31This is crazy.
00:48:34Oh, fuck.
00:49:09I mean, everything's really big.
00:49:13Really.
00:49:28Wow, I can only imagine how different everything looks, right?
00:49:34You see this dust ball?
00:49:37Do you think I could choke on this?
00:49:39Oh, yeah, put that down.
00:49:44Hello, Dolores.
00:49:45Look who it is.
00:49:47See?
00:49:48She's not that scary.
00:49:49Why is she looking at me like that?
00:49:51Oh, oh, it's puffing up.
00:49:53Do you see what it's doing?
00:49:53Oh, no, no, no, it's trying to eat me.
00:49:57No, this is not interesting to me.
00:49:59Can you put me down, please?
00:50:01Put me down.
00:50:02Oh, there's a dream for you to live.
00:50:06In the lakes of this land, a beautiful side of the night.
00:50:15Fun, right?
00:50:16We all love a train ride.
00:50:18Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:21Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:28Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:35Woo!
00:50:38Merry Christmas to me!
00:50:43Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:46Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:49Maybe too many times around?
00:50:51I want to get off!
00:50:53I don't like it!
00:50:55Oh, I'm gonna be sick!
00:50:59Oh, God.
00:51:05Hey.
00:51:07It's gonna be okay.
00:51:09I'm so sorry this happened.
00:51:12I'm so incredibly sorry.
00:51:24Water truck ran out of shrinking gas.
00:51:26I'm gonna go to the lab to refuel.
00:51:28What am I supposed to do with this?
00:51:30I thought I could crush it up and you could maybe snort it, but I don't know.
00:51:34Um, Scarface?
00:51:35I'll just gnaw on it or something.
00:51:41How are you feeling?
00:51:43Really?
00:51:44I mean...
00:51:45I know what you mean.
00:51:47Better.
00:51:50I did always love this couch.
00:52:06When you're ready.
00:52:07Uh, pour away.
00:52:13Don't be shy.
00:52:15So, this is my, uh...
00:52:20Tiny little life now?
00:52:22Temporary tiny life.
00:52:23How long again?
00:52:24A day.
00:52:25Two at the most.
00:52:26I'm so close.
00:52:27So close.
00:52:28Yeah.
00:52:29Yeah.
00:52:34Did you microwave this off the floor?
00:52:36Floor is clean.
00:52:37You're the first person to ever walk on it.
00:52:40Six inch tall Neil fucking Armstrong?
00:52:42Kind of.
00:52:51Unless you put parmesan in the potatoes.
00:52:54Potatoes a la Diane.
00:52:57With a twist.
00:52:59Who?
00:53:00Reese Witherspoon from Legally Blonde.
00:53:02She's gonna play me in the movie.
00:53:04She's gonna play the sister character.
00:53:06I still don't know who that is.
00:53:07Walt?
00:53:08She's blonde, wears pink, goes to Harvard.
00:53:11That's a stretch.
00:53:12What?
00:53:13I am blonde.
00:53:14Less said that we could be twins.
00:53:16I'm sure he's just being kind.
00:53:18No, no, I think with the bright hair and makeup, you know Hollywood, I mean.
00:53:21It's beyond me why they're even adapting a book into a film.
00:53:24Because it sold a million copies, because it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:28Hollywood must be out of ideas.
00:53:31You're not excited?
00:53:32Laura Dern is playing the mother.
00:53:34I adore Laura Dern, but I question her judgment.
00:53:38The book wasn't well received.
00:53:39I repeat, it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:41The Guardian dupted literary popcorn and added, that does not a Pulitzer make.
00:53:45Their words.
00:53:46Which she memorized and repeat constantly.
00:53:49I can barely show my face at Wine Club Wednesday
00:53:52without Carol turning her nose up at me as if I were the devil incarnate.
00:53:57Walt?
00:53:57Your mother needs your Wine Club Wednesdays.
00:54:00That's not a stretch.
00:54:01Mom.
00:54:02It's fiction.
00:54:03Carol didn't see a character.
00:54:06Carol saw me, and the me in your book is a monster.
00:54:09It's a comedy.
00:54:10It's a dark comedy.
00:54:11A coming of age story about a woman who felt abandoned and silenced by a monster of a mother character.
00:54:20You try being a single mother of two young girls whose husband walked out one day without a word.
00:54:28Walked out or was driven away?
00:54:29Jim abandoned me.
00:54:30No, he stopped being married to you.
00:54:34He abandoned me.
00:54:36Me too.
00:54:37And he's still the hero.
00:54:39I tried my best.
00:54:42Walt?
00:54:42If I may, Walt, Diane, have you tried the potatoes?
00:54:46I call them potatoes a la Diane.
00:54:49With a twist.
00:54:50Is the twist a turn of the knife?
00:54:51It's parmesan cheese.
00:54:53Try it.
00:55:00It's too rich, but absolutely divine.
00:55:03Just like you.
00:55:09Walt.
00:55:11I think we should visit the arch tomorrow.
00:55:13I hear it's dreadful.
00:55:16Yes.
00:55:17Yes.
00:55:17No, I don't get the arch.
00:55:19It's like an arch for what?
00:55:20It's the gateway to the west.
00:55:23Huh?
00:55:24I think it's great.
00:55:25I can barely show my face on wine club Wednesdays.
00:55:30Hollywood has run out of ideas.
00:55:32I think Laura Dern is a very generous casting.
00:55:34I have to say hello.
00:55:40What's going on?
00:55:41Do you want to have sex?
00:55:42Oh, yes.
00:55:43Yes, please.
00:55:43What are you here?
00:55:45We'll be quiet.
00:55:46We'll be fine.
00:55:47Oh, alright.
00:55:47You're set to high volume.
00:55:50Watch.
00:55:51Watch.
00:55:51Watch.
00:55:54Okay, alright.
00:55:55Okay.
00:55:55Good.
00:55:56Come on.
00:56:08come on.
00:56:09Get the fuck off.
00:56:11I hear the fuck.
00:56:12Come on.
00:56:13Yes, sir.
00:56:20I'm not gonna do that.
00:56:24Oh, my God.
00:56:26You're too late.
00:56:26She's dead.
00:56:26Whoa!
00:56:27Can we help you?
00:56:29Obviously, this isn't the washroom.
00:56:31It's down the hall with the light on.
00:56:33The one with the toilet!
00:56:34I can see the light.
00:56:41He's trying to escape.
00:56:45We're to the arch.
00:56:48Oh, my God.
00:56:50Oh, fuck.
00:56:51Okay, okay.
00:56:53Maybe I can't be quiet.
00:56:55I don't think you can.
00:56:58Hey.
00:57:03I'm not really like her though, right?
00:57:05My mother, I'm not like Diane, am I?
00:57:09Does that make me Walt?
00:57:12Seriously?
00:57:13Seriously?
00:57:14Seriously?
00:57:16No.
00:57:17Fuck no.
00:57:18Because she's...
00:57:19No, she's unbelievable.
00:57:20And not in a good way.
00:57:24It's gonna be okay.
00:57:26It's only a few days.
00:57:31Only a few days.
00:57:38It's only a few days.
00:57:39literacy is about to kill her.
00:57:42That can't be okay anyway,
00:57:42not in a way.
00:57:50She representswasserone.
00:57:54I love her.
00:57:57The book,
00:57:57I love her.
00:57:58They're hard to keep her to get away,
00:57:58so I can,
00:57:58I know that the two
00:58:03were specials.
00:58:03The books are very Χ¨ Judahulu.
00:58:04My husband.
00:58:04The girl who was dating Hall the network today.
00:58:05It was some reason to have lives.
00:58:08Yeah.
00:58:10What?
00:58:11What?
00:58:12What?
00:58:13What?
00:58:14It can't be right.
00:58:18Okay, I'm coming in.
00:58:19But now.
00:58:20Oh.
00:58:21Now-ish.
00:58:45Magoo!
00:58:47Magoo!
00:58:49Stay!
00:58:51Stay!
00:58:55No-no-no-no-no!
00:59:01Magoo!
00:59:01Come here!
00:59:05Ow, fuck.
00:59:07You fuzzy fucker.
00:59:20Stop.
00:59:22Stop it, you're fine.
00:59:24You feel bad enough already.
00:59:29I mean, she's safe, right?
00:59:44Hey!
00:59:47Yes, Richard, what is it?
00:59:49Oh, you seem upset.
00:59:51No, Richard, I'm fine, I'm fine.
00:59:53You know, I sometimes come in my car to cry too when I need a release, so I get where
00:59:58you're at.
01:00:00Okay, right, is that all?
01:00:01Now you've got me worried.
01:00:03Is everything all right at home?
01:00:04You know, with your wife, Lindy, Lindy's her name, right?
01:00:06Yes, Richard, she's fine.
01:00:07Everything okay?
01:00:08Good, good.
01:00:09Yeah.
01:00:10She's just keeping busy over the holidays.
01:00:13Yes, Richard, she's at home writing.
01:00:15She's keeping busy.
01:00:16She's writing, writing.
01:00:18That's wonderful.
01:00:19That's wonderful.
01:00:20Richard, get your butt inside.
01:00:22I'm sorry you used profanity.
01:00:24I'm upset.
01:00:27I'll see you later.
01:00:38I'll see you later.
01:00:39Les?
01:00:41Les?
01:00:46That is a toy.
01:00:51Oh, he left me?
01:00:56Right.
01:00:59I have to trust him.
01:01:02I cannot spiral.
01:01:06Huh?
01:01:07Oh.
01:01:08Yeah.
01:01:10Why not?
01:01:11Okay, that's it.
01:01:12That's good, space colon.
01:01:15Colon?
01:01:17Colonal.
01:01:19Colonel.
01:01:20Space colonel.
01:01:22Next stop, Uranus.
01:01:24I could...
01:01:25Fuck, I'm already spiraling.
01:01:27You made me believe you were so close.
01:01:30So I believed you.
01:01:32Yes, and you should believe me.
01:01:33That's our deal.
01:01:34There is mathematical truth in stating I am so close.
01:01:36So what does so close mean to you in this context today?
01:01:42I can't put an actual number on it.
01:01:44I don't know.
01:01:46What?
01:01:48What have you done?
01:01:49What have I done?
01:01:51Martin, I didn't want to say you have one job.
01:01:53Contract is for 30 days.
01:01:55That's insane!
01:01:57Well, you said that you were close!
01:01:5930 days?
01:02:01Well, it will work.
01:02:03I mean, the math says it well and math is never wrong, so...
01:02:07Now you have 30 days!
01:02:08No, no, no.
01:02:09We have 30 days.
01:02:10Oh, now it's we.
01:02:11What does it say exactly?
01:02:12What does the small print say exactly?
01:02:14It says that we have 30 days to prove that the restoration formula works.
01:02:19Or the patent on our tech...
01:02:22On my tech, thank you.
01:02:23Reverge to Hilton and Hilton sues you.
01:02:26Sues us.
01:02:28For fraud.
01:02:29And you go to jail.
01:02:31To jail?
01:02:32Well, can he do that?
01:02:33He can.
01:02:34And after 30 days, it goes.
01:02:36The tech, the lab, the bobs.
01:02:38Gone.
01:02:41But...
01:02:41But...
01:02:42Okay, so how do I make...
01:02:45How do I...
01:02:48How do I make things big again?
01:02:49Because I have to make things big again.
01:02:51Well, after 30 days, you can't.
01:02:56This is...
01:02:57I mean, can he actually do this?
01:03:01Yes, he can.
01:03:02Man, it says it right here.
01:03:06Less.
01:03:09How bad is this?
01:03:12Okay.
01:03:17I'm not even going to ask about the cat.
01:03:36I got you something for Christmas.
01:03:39Oh, I didn't get you anything.
01:03:43Oh, that's...
01:03:44It's okay.
01:03:45Oh, I didn't want you.
01:03:48Like what Shakespeare used to write with.
01:03:50You know I like Shakespeare?
01:03:52Oh, everybody knows you like Shakespeare.
01:03:55Bars guard.
01:03:56Well, you talk about it a lot.
01:03:58Yeah.
01:03:58Oh, you seem a little bit down.
01:04:02No, I'm just tired.
01:04:04Yeah.
01:04:05I was waiting up last night for someone.
01:04:09Someone special.
01:04:11You know, and it's just...
01:04:13You know?
01:04:13Oh, Merry Christmas, Richard.
01:04:16Oh, thank you, Janet.
01:04:18This is a very thoughtful gift.
01:04:25Thy returneth to thine grind.
01:04:36Okay.
01:04:36Oh, buddy.
01:04:39I can't remember my ear.
01:04:49Oh.
01:04:51Right.
01:04:52Okay.
01:04:55Oh, that's good.
01:04:57Okay.
01:05:02Oh, come on.
01:05:07Okay.
01:05:09Oh, my God.
01:05:14Oh, there we go.
01:05:17Guide.
01:05:22Oh.
01:05:23A classic.
01:05:25Gum!
01:05:29Volume.
01:05:32We're never turning this off.
01:05:35Okay, Saks.
01:05:39So...
01:05:40We've got popcorn.
01:05:43But no candy.
01:05:48Oh, less.
01:05:49That's just for me.
01:05:59Richard, I need everyone at the top of their game today.
01:06:01It's a big day.
01:06:02It could be the day.
01:06:03It needs to be the day.
01:06:04Or two.
01:06:06At the most.
01:06:11Here are my thoughts.
01:06:15Adjust the last line on the Maxwell stress tensor to B sub J.
01:06:19Minus one-half times the quantity of epsilon naught.
01:06:23Times E squared plus B squared over mu naught.
01:06:27Thoughts complete.
01:06:28Bob.
01:06:30Implement as thoughts.
01:06:36B sub J minus one-half times the quantity of epsilon naught times E squared plus B squared
01:06:43over mu naught.
01:06:45Complete.
01:06:47Carl, implement as thoughts.
01:06:48Excuse me.
01:06:51What do you want to be?
01:07:06I love you.
01:07:17I'm not thinking that I'm already going to cook you on 2mi.
01:07:18It's not?
01:07:29Let's make history.
01:08:18Let's make history.
01:08:19Richard?
01:08:20Bob the Explainer?
01:08:23Nominal success.
01:08:24Subject expanded to regular size for 2.1 seconds.
01:08:28Same as previous attempt.
01:08:31Molecular disequilibrium.
01:08:32Eraser Bob.
01:08:34See medic.
01:08:34Bring in Fred.
01:08:36Clean up an aisle everywhere.
01:08:38Richard?
01:08:39We're waiting on analysis to proceed.
01:08:41We'll adjust based on your thoughts.
01:08:43We'll go again.
01:08:45No, you won't.
01:08:46If this is your definition of close, we have a big problem.
01:08:50You working in a bubble with your staff and your secrets ends today.
01:08:54Moving forward, everything that happens in this lab will be authorized by me.
01:08:59No.
01:09:00No, no, no.
01:09:02Um, this is not how we work here.
01:09:05We are making history.
01:09:06Okay?
01:09:07That corn was regular size.
01:09:10It's incredible.
01:09:11As a scientist, how can you not see that?
01:09:13Reports, equipment, results, any spending whatsoever, everything you use must be logged up to and including packets of instant oatmeal
01:09:20in the break room.
01:09:21Can I explain my fiber deficiency?
01:09:24Okay, everybody, everybody.
01:09:25This is Virginia.
01:09:26Vivian.
01:09:27Vivian.
01:09:27I don't know her last name, but she's new here and she doesn't know how things work.
01:09:31And Bob, you don't need to worry about your oatmeal.
01:09:33Okay?
01:09:33Can we just talk about this?
01:09:36Martin, you know exactly how much money this science circus is hemorrhaging.
01:09:40I don't care about the money.
01:09:41Of course you don't.
01:09:42You spent seven years and several hundred thousand dollars designing your logo.
01:09:48I had to open the books.
01:09:50Well, it had to be perfect.
01:09:51What?
01:09:52Irresponsible.
01:09:52And deeply sad.
01:09:54Dr. Littlejohn, it's no longer your money.
01:09:56It's Hilton Smith's money.
01:09:57This is his lab now, and I run Hilton's lab.
01:10:00Ergo, I run this lab.
01:10:02This is unacceptable!
01:10:04And it's ridiculous!
01:10:05And do, do something!
01:10:08Okay, no we, no we, just me.
01:10:10I want to talk to Hilton right now!
01:10:13Well, good luck reaching him.
01:10:15He's spending the holidays piloting an experimental submersible off the coast of Guam.
01:10:20Guam?
01:10:21Guam?
01:10:22What?
01:10:23Shut it down.
01:10:24We'll try again tomorrow.
01:10:26Together.
01:10:27These ladders are an OSHA violation.
01:10:30You're an OSHA violation!
01:10:33Dear hairy Jesus!
01:10:35And I hope Hilton gets crushed into ketchup by 400 atmospheres of pressure!
01:10:4029 days.
01:10:41Not helpful.
01:10:42Not!
01:10:43The point!
01:10:51What have I done?
01:10:59Midnight for the stars and you Midnight and a rendezvous Your eyes held a message tender Saying I surrender All
01:11:21my life for you
01:11:22It's my phone.
01:11:25My phone!
01:11:30Coming, coming, coming!
01:11:32What?
01:11:44No!
01:11:45No!
01:11:47Whoa!
01:11:49No!
01:11:54No!
01:12:04Fuck, did you just say something?
01:12:12Am I losing my mind?
01:12:19I can see me in you.
01:12:26What?
01:12:29What is that?
01:12:30What is that?
01:12:32Oh, fuck.
01:12:38I gotta get out of here!
01:12:42What the fuck?
01:12:44What the fuck?
01:12:45Oh!
01:12:46Fuck!
01:12:52Jesus!
01:12:54Fuck!
01:12:55God damn it!
01:12:58Fuck!
01:13:03Fuck!
01:13:05Dang it!
01:13:06Fuck!
01:13:07Fuck!
01:13:08Fuck!
01:13:10Fuck!
01:13:23Oh, my God.
01:13:50Oh, my God.
01:14:13Oh, my God.
01:14:27Oh, my God.
01:14:33Let me remind, I'll save you!
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