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00:11you okay it's just so sad Rudolph they're just all making fun of his nose like so what if he's
00:20different and Santa's thing he can't be part of the team like he's so perfect Santa's a fat bug
00:30hey there hey how'd your Thanksgiving go uh good good you write stories for a living Greg do better
00:39good to see you Walt uh it was fine Katie and I were here only bummer was that she
00:47was a little bothered by something she really wouldn't tell me what it was
00:50and she was kind of sad oh I love the whipped cream on the bottom how many of those do
00:55you have a week
00:56it is not your problem it is my problem and I never want to fix it hey just a quick
01:01heads up
01:01there Greg Crystal's back if you want to say hi or something how's she doing you know what I'll uh
01:08I'll talk to her later thanks Walt yeah are you avoiding me oh hi no I was actually just coming
01:15to see you we don't have to do any of that Greg in fact I've made a list of ground
01:20rules so we can
01:21navigate our last eight days as co-workers okay no tight khakis in the office or crotch defining
01:27casual slacks all right I think that applies more to me than to you I'll be doing it too
01:32okay all right no acts of chivalry to make me swoon I'm still going to be nice to you
01:40okay no smiling or showing any tongue around the office this one's important to me sure no smiling
01:45I don't know if I've ever shown tongue around the office well anytime you open your mouth you're
01:49showing your tongue okay I will um yeah you got it I'm gonna leave now so please don't undress me
01:55with your eyes I will do my best
02:00you're doing it I kind of am
02:02oh I oh I I played before I laugh at me I'm trying trying falling sometimes sometimes flying cry me
02:19and I'll shine up wine liners cruel cruel cruel cruel
02:29as I'm sure you all remember the name of this class is the art of the page turner so a
02:35lot of the notes
02:35that you're getting on these has to do with that first chapter engaging the audience I wrote a book
02:41called swamp blossom in it rooster receives a letter from an old flame and it says letting you go was
02:49the
02:49biggest mistake that I ever made but if you're reading this right now I'm probably dead thoughts
02:56dude who writes a letter yeah and why didn't she finish it and explain it more maybe she was in
03:03danger
03:04but she still had time to buy a stamp and mail it oh no a lot of old people already
03:09have stamps I what's
03:11wrong with stamps it makes sense if you read it it's actually an awesome book Tommy I can't tell you
03:16how
03:17great it is to have you in this class participating again you never say anything when I participate I
03:23know here you go hey minus that's it for today get to work on those revisions that is for you
03:33check it adderall and Celsius works every time see ya
03:37see ya are we good I have this psych major helping me visualize you without any sex organs
03:46hmm just a blank hairless front okay I would like to help you get back on track the other classes
03:56yeah I mean I need it my office 3 p.m. sharp right on right on that's for you you
04:03got some work to do
04:16I absolutely love this vest thank you the neoprene raises your core body temperature by 12% plus
04:22makes your guns look good I'd wear it to dinner any updates on all things biotech are you any closer
04:28to a decision moving to New York is complicated yeah Archie's shown that he's a little more invested
04:34in the baby he even put together a list of pretentious British names well I personally
04:38would not have a son or daughter named Robin who would but if he's not going to be super involved
04:43I should just take the job and move right do you mind if I quote Theodore Roosevelt I'd prefer it
04:49if you
04:49do not fine look at your life's gonna be full of tests sonny you gotta just keep your eyes open
04:56and see what the world tells you you'll figure it out thank you believe you can and you're halfway
05:02there snuck a little TR there in the end didn't you couldn't help myself so um why are we all
05:11wearing
05:11the same bucket hat like it could be our thing we'd be the the bucket boys fuck that that was
05:18a nice
05:18try pig tits you're always gonna be pig tits hey guys Kirk Rooster hey uh did you see Tommy anywhere
05:24you're supposed to be in my office and he never showed nah yeah he wasn't an econ either maybe he's
05:29off sad somewhere because this guy didn't ask him to be a bucket boy fuck you guys you don't even
05:37know what a bucket boy is do you no I don't gentlemen piggy titty well got your text no I
05:43will not create
05:44a task force to find out who stole the school's mascot nice try don't call back he's gonna call
05:49back sorry no it's all right like seeing you in this boss mode thanks uh ignore I wanted to talk
05:55to
05:55you about your poem cherry pop you you get that I'm the cherry popper and that Eli is the cherry
06:01right okay not everyone needs to know I was a virgin you're my muse king but you gotta wait outside
06:07I love this poem it's the first time you've written something that feels personal so thank you I think
06:15that this is a piece that could get into the review so I just made a few marks to show
06:20you where you could
06:21push even further with yourself be more vulnerable what do you say I don't have a microdose my balls
06:27off and give it a shot don't need to know how you get there I'm just excited to have a
06:31student with
06:32some promise Eva is so talented she is don't you encourage her too much she's mine the world has
06:40plenty of fiction writers I mean what the hell is this no they're only doing that because I'm in town
06:46do
06:46you know what they do when poets come to town everybody goes crazy you are not funny your face
06:54you're so mad hey Greg oh hey entering but leaving the door open for both of our safety I know
07:04that
07:05must have looked strange but I wasn't checking out my belly button it's okay because it's good for me
07:10to see how deeply troubled you are I am thank you but I need your help what's going on Tommy
07:18says
07:18he's dropping out of school oh no no I'm so mad this is such a huge opportunity for him I'm
07:24not
07:24going to let that happen okay may I have your permission to get involved yeah feel free to hit
07:29him if you need to no I'm not gonna hit him I love him but sometimes I hate him sure
07:34did you know he
07:35was a 14 pound baby no I would have never guessed thank you okay crystal I got this don't do
07:47this
07:50what don't make me fall for you again oh I'm not trying to do that I just want to help
07:53your son
07:54I just just want to help your son thank you Greg you're welcome right Yugoslavia split from the
08:03Soviets coming up in this episode we've got some forged letters even got a cameo from the Greeks
08:08my god I love those swarthy bastards uh actually don't write that down yeah I'm just gonna take
08:13that great okay right let's get it popping what caused this lover's quarrel yes Liv um Tito resisted
08:21Stalin's attempts to control Yugoslavia's policies brilliant as always thank you guys you're so back
08:26calm down don't take your top off at least he knows my name he knows my name even seen a
08:32growing
08:32resistance across the rest of the USSR yes Liv yeah Heather here was just saying that economic
08:38pressure from the west also contributed to the split great job Heather thank you great job Heather
08:45fucking cut ah ladies me casa as your casa yeet wow you're a little more pleased with yourself than
08:55usual that's actually pretty hard to do I've got to say lately I feel like I've been teaching at a
09:00virtuosic level uh good moms have scary thoughts what's that oh this is uh this is just one of my
09:06parenting books did you know that 90% of new mothers have intrusive thoughts I have heard that
09:11yeah like what if my baby gets ill what if I drop my baby could happen what if my baby
09:15thinks my hair
09:16is prettier than hers and shaves my head in the middle of the night very possible gosh that's a lot
09:20of
09:20hormones running through your body there darling I don't think you're clocking what's going on
09:27emotionally she's correct but I got you the Montessori book if you want to read up with me though
09:31bug ah see parenting is just this kind of instinctual thing you know you really don't have to worry about
09:38me being a father my entire day is just spent molding young minds it's actually funny you say that I
09:43was
09:43just perusing your rate my professor reviews online for no reason at all this one tickled me
09:49professor Bates is arrogant and completely self-involved well I don't even take arrogant as a
09:54negative so ah professor Bates is terrible with criticism petulant and defensive well that's
09:59bollocks I'm not defensive in the slightest who'd take time to write lies no okay I can hear myself
10:04now okay well good I'm happy to have the feedback here's a fun one professor Bates has
10:09Ledlow's biggest asshole that's not really on there is it no I just wanted to say it Tommy just
10:15sit down for a second leave me alone I gotta work hey sit down please what are you doing man
10:24you can't
10:25just drop out of college wait what don't do that man why not look I only went to college because
10:30my
10:30mom made me it's not like I'm killing it totally come on is that all college is about I think
10:37so
10:37yeah my pop says grades are everything dude my dad just married a chick two years older than me
10:42she's hot it's confusing but you'd still hit right do they do it in porn guys this is all very
10:47important
10:48stuff but I'm going to continue our discussion over here congrats to your dad by the way thank you
10:53Kirk come on join me rooster you never went to college man no I didn't and I regret it
11:02when I was a kid I was really unhappy I was kind of a loner still kind of am
11:11I see you walking around campus and you are surrounded by people I wish I had that when I
11:18was your age these guys behind you are such complete idiots but they're your idiots
11:27don't leave them behind well I live here I'll still see him we'll still hang out right guys
11:34yeah stop helping don't worry I'm not going to be a waiter for the rest of my life there's tons
11:41of
11:41shit I can do I've actually always really wanted to be a cop they are badass excuse me if I
11:48could just
11:48have everyone's attention real quick just retracing my steps I was here yesterday has anybody seen my
11:55gun look under your tables look under your chairs how's the rewrite come oh it's not you need some
12:05more time no it's just I dove into the vulnerable thing I hated it it just made me feel exposed
12:15but
12:15like not the way that I like to be exposed you know it's scary to put yourself in your work
12:20but
12:21it's what an artist does see that's the thing I'm not like an artist I'm a business major I had
12:29to
12:29promise my dad I'd either be a finance bro or a crypto douche this poetry stuff is fun but it's
12:35an
12:35oasis this isn't gonna be my life
12:43and now Tommy is going on a ride-along to see if he wants to be a police officer I
12:48don't say to
12:48that sorry is this the kid who sometimes lives at your house who you secretly wish was your son
12:53honey come on it's not a secret are you okay you seem like you're in a bit of a funk
13:00these days
13:03don't you have to coach feel like this whole thing started the morning after Walt's party when I saw you
13:10with the two coffees in my business that's what we call a clue trail so I I think I know
13:18what's going
13:18on you do hmm you're seeing somebody else you feel guilty about it because of Archie wow nailed it
13:30well I am a professional banter driven action mystery writer so true this is a guy is he here
13:37the uh yeah oh really yeah where um right there he's hunter the guy from the bar oh oh yeah
13:48I like
13:48him he doesn't skimp on the nuts that's what hooked me why don't you go sit with him I know
13:55I'm gonna
13:55sit away honey don't worry about Archie's feelings yeah take care of yourself okay ask him if he
14:03no I was gonna say ask him if he has any nuts I'm not gonna do that I will sit
14:07with him to stop
14:07this conversation okay love you love you here we go come on come on stay faster you know they're
14:15just warming up right yeah I know me too uh kill him hi hey rip him up rip him up
14:23kill him guys
14:26um I'm gonna I'm gonna put my head on your shoulder now but I'm here on a date she'll be
14:31fine
14:37uh huh outstanding mascots back
14:49oh that's not our guy somebody stop him hey right yes I am the police here hold my beer
14:58I'm coming back for that I am the police I got it hey
15:09ah hello you hey morning uh been a minute yeah how was thanksgiving in Wisconsin interesting
15:20yeah Sonny's family are really into this um uh electronic game called Simon uh sort of this
15:25has these flashing lights I know what Simon is everybody knows okay well I did not uh so much
15:31so that they all sort of took turns screaming at me oh good I'm glad that that amuses you
15:36oh I wanted to thank you for getting me hooked on croissants
15:38oh yes yeah it's like a heroin dealer well you know what they say first one's always free I know
15:44right yeah and then you stop bringing them
15:49Katie you can't promise someone a thousand days to make a decision and then only give them two
15:55right it's not fair and now I'm getting sad in front of you and I just wanted to come and
15:59get my
15:59three croissants yeah I'm on three now because I'm an animal don't cry don't call me darling and don't
16:05tell me not to cry I can cry if I want to and I don't currently want to but I'm
16:08just having a
16:09little trouble stopping thank you okay I hope you're better to Sonny
16:23hey guys what you doing cop stuff he's introducing me to this band called Creed
16:31can we chat outside for a sec
16:38so how's it been going guys you've been writing a lot of tickets we really haven't I mean cars
16:44still stopped at that red light back there even after we turned it off that's too bad
16:48wait what I just wish I could show this kid a little bit of action but
16:52only outstanding felony in town is that stolen mascot costume hey man I'm having a blast
16:57he showed me how to use the radar gun that's right I can run eight miles an hour yeah should
17:02have done track oh yeah don't think that's fast also I know it's a cliche but they actually give
17:07you free donuts ah think they'll give me some more only one way to find out sport yeah Tommy
17:17officer Tommy whatever his last name is yeah his mom really wants him to finish college
17:22okay my mom really wants me to come visit her and her girlfriend but no thank you
17:27greg if the kid has the calling who are you on high to stand in the way of that
17:31he's this is not the priesthood look you need to back off you need to just let him finish
17:36you need to visit your mom just to be clear I'm not not visiting because she has a girlfriend it's
17:42because her girlfriend is Sharon who happens to be the absolute worst Tommy is a grown man who can make
17:49decisions for himself as can I Sharon you're forcing me to do this no you're gonna use your get
18:00out of jail free card now that is how important this is to me that I am giving you that
18:06meaningless
18:06thing doesn't glaze oh great in the bag oh it's your gun oh yeah they said you left it in
18:13there last
18:14time yes I did and yes that's mine so officer Donnie was telling me that there are some downsides to
18:21being a cop yeah yeah yeah it was actually um Tommy it sucks being a cop it sucks wait but
18:32you just
18:32told me that it was awesome and I lied to you Tommy because I lie to kids that's what cops
18:39do
18:39let's get out of here you can drive yes no no Tommy no give me that what I'm driving you
18:46take this
18:47keep the door no I got the gun I got the gun god uh Eva can we go somewhere and
18:59talk do you
18:59get out of here you can drive no no no put some pants on first yeah sorry thank you
19:13I still don't see a downside of being a cop
19:18I mean short training good benefits free car yeah at first it is
19:26it's quite a rush the power you realize you can pull over Vince Martinelli
19:32guy who was addicted in high school whenever you want then you find yourself pulling them over two
19:38three times a week just so you can feel something your captain's yelling at you he's up your ass he's
19:46telling you he's gonna lawyer up and he's probably right you think the guys at the station you think
19:52they got your back but they don't they are all planning a trip to Foxwoods without you no
20:00and everybody went
20:03they even took Sharon how the do they even know her
20:08I think what Donny is trying to say is that you have to give this whole thing some thought
20:12yeah at the end of the day it's just a job yes not that exciting exactly
20:21wait turn on the light
20:23you
20:30nobody spookin
20:33no no no service
20:34no no no no no no wait no please
20:39you're going in the gas
20:40come on
20:42where are the geese
20:45hey police
20:47She's going through a time walk
20:49She's a little bit of my
20:51She's a little bit of my
20:54She's a little bit of my
20:55We're finding in the backseat
20:57We're finding in the backseat
20:59We're finding in the backseat
21:01We're finding in the backseat
21:01Come on, we're
21:02We're finding in the backseat
21:05Thank you
21:06You know, it really bothered me
21:11When you said you weren't going to be an artist
21:13Oh, my bad, Deva
21:15You know why?
21:17You already are an artist
21:20And don't get me wrong
21:21I'm not going to call your dad and say
21:23She shouldn't work for Goldman Sachs
21:25She should just be a street poet
21:26Yeah, yeah, he wouldn't dig that
21:28Hey, stop in the name of the law
21:34Okay, look
21:35You said poetry makes you happy
21:37That's enough
21:38Because I know that if I'm struggling
21:40I can always lean on my art
21:44Anyways
21:46I wanted you to see the mock-up
21:53Turn to page 20
21:59I won't put it in there for real
22:01If you don't want me to
22:04Oh, no
22:05I, uh
22:07I, I want you to
22:11Diva
22:12I like it
22:13Can you call me that all the time?
22:15Oh, forever, Diva
22:17Here comes the hammer
22:19Let's go
22:20I, oh
22:21Let's go
22:23Taste it
22:25Huh?
22:26Huh?
22:27Yeah
22:27Eight miles an hour, bitch
22:31Pig tits?
22:33What the hell?
22:34What are you doing?
22:36How can you run so fast with that giant head?
22:39Me or him?
22:40I can't be pig tits anymore
22:43I thought this would change things for me
22:45Dude, people are just going to say pig tits stole the mascot costume
22:50Oh, fuck
22:52Look, I'll stop calling you pig tits, okay?
22:55Rooster
22:55Yeah, I'll try
22:58Oh, man, I'm so fucked
23:00I got you
23:00Now get out of here
23:01Okay
23:02Run!
23:04Hey!
23:05Hey!
23:06Found my keys
23:07They're in the ignition
23:08Car was on the whole time
23:09Yeah, I got the head
23:10Oh, he went that way
23:12Yep
23:13Are you sure?
23:14That's where he is
23:16I hate backing up
23:18I'm good back there
23:19You're good, go, go
23:20Can you see?
23:21Yep, go
23:27Oh, you're actually reading it
23:28Of course I am
23:29I knew you wanted me to
23:31Look, bug boy, girl, whatever comes
23:34They will not defeat us
23:36We can do this shit
23:41You got a job offer at Bioteca?
23:44What?
23:45Yeah
23:46Salary's good
23:47That's amazing
23:48And they, uh, they want me to start in New York in January
23:52But that's not where I am
23:55I'm not taking it
23:59I think you're done
24:00Why?
24:01I was learning about
24:03Oh, now I see why
24:04This is a lot more fun
24:07Huge mistake!
24:08Take the job!
24:11You know, I think I'd be a shitty cop
24:14And I'd let everyone go
24:16You're just being a good friend to Pig
24:19J.D., wow
24:20That is going to be a hard habit to break
24:23We don't have to stop calling him Pigtus
24:25You're just not to his face
24:26Okay, I take back the good friend part
24:32I don't want to sound like a broken record about all this college stuff
24:36It's not for me
24:38Look, okay, I can struggle through, you know, skate by with some D's
24:44What's the point?
24:46Writing is the only thing that I like
24:48And I even suck at that, so
24:49What are you talking about?
24:51My chapter
24:53The red marks everywhere
24:55Oh
24:55It looked like my face before Accutane
24:57Okay
24:57And Spooner's was spotless
24:59Oh
24:59Okay, just a big check bus
25:01Yeah, well, Spooner's paper
25:03Don't tell him I told you this
25:05But Spooner's not going to be a writer
25:07Oh, I know
25:08He's going to run his dad's oil company
25:11Probably hook up with his stepmom
25:12Tommy, the reason yours was marked up
25:14Was because I think that you have potential
25:18Now you're just bullshitting
25:20Because you don't want me to drop out
25:25Bernice
25:27Stared down at him on the ground
25:31His blood peeking past his shadow
25:34And she laughed
25:37One perfect ha
25:42That's my story
25:43Yeah, I know
25:44I have a knack for remembering really good sentences
25:48I wish I'd written that
25:50Really?
25:51No
25:53So I'm good?
25:55Uh, not yet
25:56But with a little work
25:58I think you could be pretty good
26:00Yeah
26:06Good night
26:09I wish I hadn't seen your dick
26:11Me too, Tommy
26:13Me too
26:41Hey
26:43You okay?
26:44No
26:45I'm all out of jam
26:47Thought you dropped out
26:49I changed my mind
26:50Good choice
26:52You know, if something's bothering you
26:54Your dad is the greatest
26:56Cool
26:57Still not your dad
26:58Yeah, no, I know
26:59I wish he was
27:02My dad does not give a shit
27:06You're so lucky
27:08You can, you can go now
27:10Yeah
27:10Cool
27:25Hey sweetie
27:26Hi
27:26Hey
27:28I'm glad you're here
27:29I got something for you
27:35Really?
27:36Yeah
27:36Oh my god
27:38Dad
27:39Got your little helmet
27:42Please wear the helmet
27:43Of course
27:43This is so cool
27:49What's up?
27:54Um
27:58I have to tell you something
28:03So
28:06Um
28:07He's gone
28:11Two thousand miles
28:16It's very far
28:21The snow's falling down
28:25It's colder day by day
28:29I miss you
28:37The children will sing
28:40He'll be back at Christmas time
28:50In these frozen and silent nights
28:55Sometimes in a dream
28:59You appear
29:05Outside
29:06Under the purple sky
29:09Diamonds in the snow
29:13Sparkle
29:27I miss you
29:30Bye-bye
29:31Bye-bye
29:32Bye-bye
29:33Bye-bye
29:34Bye-bye
29:34Bye-bye
29:34Bye-bye
29:34Bye-bye
29:35Bye-bye
29:36Bye-bye
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