- 2 days ago
The Audacity S01E04 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:01Well, Joanne, you were wrong about me.
00:03You tried to cut me off at the knees, but I grew new shins.
00:08And now I am big enough to forgive you.
00:12And I got news, oh, and I know you're gonna wanna hear it.
00:15I've been doubting myself, my abilities, but fucking A, this guy is formidable.
00:22And I just had the most volcanic sex with someone who's been with me the whole time.
00:26My most committed sexual partner.
00:30Myself.
00:32I loved myself.
00:38Isn't that the whole point of therapy?
00:41I gave love to me.
00:46Maybe it's the most important love of all.
00:49It wasn't whatever penetrative sex with my wife, but I penetrated my fist.
01:00You know what?
01:01That fist, that fist is now a symbol of my strength against all odds.
01:09And my belief in me.
01:14Okay, call me back.
01:15It's Duncan.
01:18Shut up!
01:24Friends.
01:26Quants.
01:28Sons of Milpitas.
01:31Hypergnomes, assemble!
01:33Ask not if we will have the honor of hosting the legend and new partner and board member, Carl Bardoff.
01:45We will.
01:46We will.
01:46He's coming.
01:47Carl Bardoff is coming.
01:48He is one of us!
01:51Yes!
01:53Yes!
01:54Yes!
01:55Yes!
01:56He's coming.
01:57He's coming.
01:59He's coming.
01:59He's coming.
02:03He's coming.
02:07He's coming.
02:14He's coming.
02:18He's coming.
02:19He's coming.
02:20He's coming.
02:22He's coming.
02:23He's coming.
02:24He's coming.
02:25He's coming.
02:25He's coming.
02:26He's coming.
02:26Second, I'm beefing up Xander's back, Anne.
02:32Can't you hurry up?
02:34No, I can't.
02:35Martin.
02:37You're mad.
02:38You seem mad.
02:40Er, you're mad at me?
02:42You want me to vomit up all the awful things you said about me last night?
02:46I've better things to do, Martin.
02:49I only repeated all the demeaning things you said to me about Xander.
02:55That was talk.
02:57That was...
02:59I was offering you my help, my time, my smarts.
03:02Something that most people actually value.
03:05Cupertino, for instance.
03:06Only the most important tech company to ever exist.
03:10You said they don't value you.
03:13No, what?
03:14Fuck her off, Martin.
03:24Better yet, ask Alexander if I'd be a net positive on your team.
03:30Go on.
03:31Road scholar.
03:33Doctorate in philosophy.
03:34Oxford.
03:35New York Times bestseller.
03:37And yes, don't even say it, Martin.
03:39One week on the list definitely counts.
03:41Go on, ask him.
03:42Then bugger off.
03:49Did you take your antibiotics?
03:51Yes, and they're just making it worse.
03:52Well, consider yourself lucky they didn't put you on heartworm pills.
04:04Honey, your needs are my needs.
04:05But my needs are also my needs.
04:07And I need to give my needs a bit more attention.
04:10Truth is, I'm not upset anymore.
04:14I'm just recalibrating.
04:22Flat white, please, for Anishka.
04:25Sure.
04:36Hey.
04:38Your proposal was in psychotherapists or the workers at a guanjal factories.
04:43That was a prank, right?
04:46It's a bunch of us thought.
04:47Maybe Big Tim was sure it wasn't, but it was a prank, right?
04:51No, it certainly wasn't a prank.
04:55Damn, Big Tim always wins.
04:59Well, they're rioting now.
05:01So I guess the window for mindfulness has officially closed.
05:05Different factory.
05:06Well, in that case, it's been considered at the highest levels and was found to be, sadly, utterly unworkable.
05:14But Tim also found it to be hysterical.
05:18You know how he is.
05:20He loses faith in someone, especially if he suspects disloyalty.
05:24He can be quite cruel.
05:26Unforgiving, even.
05:27He forgave you for the massage therapist on your corporate card.
05:30You know what?
05:32Yeah.
05:35Yeah.
05:46We love science.
05:48We love facts.
05:49Now we need a place to run some laps.
05:53Tripped on, tungsten, molestinum and radium.
05:56Help us finance our brand new stadium.
05:59Give!
06:00Give!
06:01Give!
06:07Why do we need a stadium again?
06:09Do we have many or any athletes here?
06:12That's why we need a stadium.
06:14We need to start talking it up to parents of any prospective kids who even look like they throw a
06:18ball.
06:18Beatrice, I wanted to ask you, when you were at Harvard, did you know Millicent Giblin?
06:23What class were you in?
06:25Jason's ex.
06:26She used to attend bar at that place.
06:28You know, behind the coop.
06:28Grendel's Den.
06:30That's the one.
06:32I'm afraid I don't know Millicent.
06:33Parents and guardians need to be making your way to your child's first year.
06:37Okay, well, good to see you.
06:38Beatrice, it's always so hard to tell, and you look so young.
06:42What?
06:43You were you at Harvard.
06:46Lilia, I never went to Harvard.
06:48All my degrees are from University of Wisconsin-Madison.
06:51Bachelor's, Master's, and Doctorate.
06:53That's funny.
06:55Wisconsin?
06:56Good comp lit program.
06:57Great Nepalese.
06:58Food.
07:11Hey.
07:12Hey.
07:13Made it.
07:14Fine.
07:15Um, hey, can you, um, can you do Jamie's first period?
07:19I have some trustee business.
07:24A robust art market starts right here, finding creators of future value, cultivating the taste
07:33of future collectors.
07:36We're starting with bridges because art is about connecting.
07:40So find someone new, not your life partner, and, uh, let's build something together.
07:46Uh, sir, uh, there, someone was looking for you.
07:49One partnered up.
07:52I saw those stinko investments you were taking.
07:55Seemed high, but dumber.
07:56You need to stop spying on me.
07:58No, listen, I, you, I know you don't want me going through your underwear drawer, right?
08:02But let's be fair.
08:05That's why I keep you underwear.
08:06Ew.
08:07No, can I just tell you my nose?
08:09I got bored off.
08:12I did.
08:12He's nesting.
08:13And he's joining the board.
08:15Yeah.
08:16After everything.
08:17Even if he left a scar.
08:18I just, I, I'm impressed.
08:24And, and look, Duncan, I can recommend a new therapist for you.
08:27What?
08:27I really don't think you should be without one.
08:30You think I'm a lost cause.
08:31I don't.
08:32I just think you are a sucker for shortcuts.
08:35What does that mean?
08:35Look, I have a client.
08:37Uh, she's got dandy issues as thorny as yours.
08:40And she's had a string of toxic men, all while holding down a big job, serves on boards,
08:44impressive, but miserable.
08:47But then we did the work and she's turned things around and she is cutting all of them
08:54out of her life.
08:56She's even dating a woman now.
08:59Ingrid?
09:00In your tower?
09:02No.
09:05All right.
09:06How's everyone doing?
09:08Let's liven things up and switch partners like a square hand.
09:13Hey, hey, hey.
09:14You okay?
09:15Yeah?
09:15Yeah, I'm fine.
09:16Hey, mind if I jump in?
09:19Odd man out.
09:21Do you mind if we rumple up?
09:22Okay.
09:23Okay, let's just say it is Ingrid, right?
09:27She's on the board of SMO.
09:28And Orlando Lee is the CEO.
09:30The most toxic man to ever live.
09:33I mean, he makes his employees wear astronaut diapers while they're coding.
09:36So, Orlando Lee is your star patient's bones.
09:40Right?
09:41I mean, is she trying to cut him out?
09:44No.
09:44And her name isn't Ingrid.
09:46I'm cool.
09:47Sure.
09:47Okay.
09:47But she's collecting votes, boardroom coup, bye-bye toxic man, united we purge.
09:56The stock is going to soar.
09:59The stock's not going to soar.
10:01Everybody hates this guy.
10:02Yeah, well, I'm just saying it's probably not going to soar for long.
10:05It'll bump for one virtuous minute.
10:07How are we doing over here?
10:08Great.
10:08Yeah, great.
10:09Is that you good?
10:09This is fabulous.
10:11Really inspiring stuff.
10:14Toxic men succeed because the fear they create produces.
10:18What?
10:18What, what, what?
10:19Loyalty.
10:20Ingrid may have fixed her daddy's shoes.
10:22The valley has not.
10:23No one can fill his shoes.
10:24It's a looser option.
10:26And for most, loyalty forbids even trying.
10:28So, power vacuum.
10:30Monster returns.
10:31Monster wins.
10:32And then the stock will take off like rust without mercy.
10:38Oh, Joanne.
10:39Boy, I wish we had our session tomorrow.
10:41You, you are so good.
10:43Like, I know you hate me.
10:45Maybe you even wish me physical pain.
10:47But I just have to say, I'm serious.
10:50You are an incredibly talented person.
10:53If you were running the world, it, it would be a better place.
10:58I know.
11:00Yeah.
11:01All right, show me what you got.
11:23Yeah, no, buy it up.
11:25I want 150,000 shares.
11:27Smooth.
11:32Junkin.
11:35You know, it kind of seemed like you were having a therapy session.
11:38Yeah, you really think that's appropriate?
11:40Well, if you don't violate them, how are you supposed to know where your boundaries are?
11:43But you're right.
11:44Yeah.
11:44Yeah.
11:45No.
11:45Tonight, tonight's about the children.
11:47Yeah.
11:48This one's pretty good.
11:49A little Grace Clancy.
11:52Sweet, right?
11:54Let me ask you, Gary.
11:56Do you think my empathy makes me a better art lover?
11:59I do have quite a collection.
12:01That's actually an interesting question.
12:04Like, does one need a developed sense of empathy to appreciate great art?
12:09I mean, I would say yes, but...
12:25Anoushka, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
12:28Sometimes I'm not good at saying things.
12:30I am sorry.
12:31Will you forgive me?
12:34Say what?
12:41Well, wow, Mary Poppins is in a temper.
12:44Not here.
12:47What are you...
12:53Did you call her?
12:54Uh, yeah.
12:56No, who?
12:57Sorry.
12:58The bloody reporter, Nana Marks.
13:00Oh, I hate her.
13:00I hate her.
13:02Did you read any of my texts?
13:05I'm persona non gratia at Cupertino.
13:07They think I leaked the acquisition rumor.
13:10They think I'm profiting.
13:12You're dead to me unless you solve this.
13:14Okay, okay.
13:14How can I help?
13:15Just tell me.
13:16Call, Nana.
13:17Put the rumors to bed.
13:18She's got to print that the talks between Cupertino and hypnosis are over.
13:23Stop it!
13:23Stop it!
13:25Set the record straight.
13:27On the record.
13:29Take your medicine.
13:30Okay.
13:30If you'll be in my ass, going full of sugar.
13:32Duncan, I am being 10,000% serious.
13:35And I am 10,000% going to call Nana Marks, okay?
13:38Because in a few days, Carl Bardoff is to invest $300 million in Hyper-G.
13:43That's serious enough for you?
13:47You bagged Bardo.
13:48Oh, I bagged him.
13:49I bagged him good.
13:50And that's exactly what I'm going to tell Nana Marks.
13:52He's a giant.
13:53No.
13:53And when Carl and I close, I swear, I will shout it to everyone.
13:56And Big Tim will know that you are true and loyal.
13:59And he'd do a little vindication.
14:01Chacha on his desk.
14:02You know, flash a little ankle.
14:03Stop it.
14:05I would if I could.
14:06I would if I could.
14:08I just want you to know that I think you're a very talented person.
14:17And if you were running the world, no doubt it would be a better place.
14:48Oh, we're doing this.
14:49Okay, okay.
14:52Okay, okay.
14:56Okay.
15:06Okay.
15:35Please proceed safely to the front door of the school.
15:37Duncan.
15:39Lily, where have you been?
15:41The board business. Come on, we need to leave now.
15:43I was at art. Okay, I did math.
15:46Thank you so much.
15:48Duncan, please, what are you doing?
15:52Duncan.
15:54Hey, hey, you, can you open this?
15:56That is mine.
15:58Please.
15:58That is mine.
15:59We're good, Al, thank you.
16:00Oh, my God, this is mine.
16:01This is my cue. That's my cue.
16:03What is wrong with you?
16:05Jameson.
16:07Jameson stole my cue.
16:08That is...
16:08Oh, my... You said Thelma took it.
16:10No, she swore up and down that Thelma was innocent.
16:13Don't fire her, Daddy.
16:14No, this...
16:15Oh, my God.
16:16I don't know, Duncan, but listen, I...
16:18We've got to leave...
16:21What are you doing?
16:22Say it!
16:25Come on.
16:25Mind a check.
16:26Let's go.
16:34I'm so sorry for your loss.
16:36Yeah, may his, um...
16:38May his memory be a blessing.
16:42Oh, why wouldn't it be a blessing?
16:44Oh, no, no, I wasn't suggesting.
16:45Otherwise, it's an expression.
16:48It's a Jewish...
16:50Nope.
16:51Oh, yep.
16:51Oh, okay.
16:53Bye-bye.
16:56Um...
16:57Alvin died.
16:59Alvin the landlord?
17:00Yeah.
17:01Oh, no.
17:02I know.
17:04Such a sweet man.
17:06Oh, no.
17:06You know, I always felt that he kept the rent down because he knew that I was helping people.
17:11And, you know, he really liked you.
17:13He always...
17:13He always said, she's a dish.
17:15Who owns our house now?
17:16I guess his daughter, Beth, she's...
17:18I don't know.
17:19She wasn't very pleasant.
17:20I mean, she's a lawyer.
17:22Say no more.
17:22Gary, she's going to jack the rent.
17:24Well...
17:24Or sell.
17:25Sell it out from under us.
17:26And why not?
17:27I mean, it's probably worse...
17:29You know, there might be a world in which he left us the house.
17:317.5 million?
17:34Oh, yeah.
17:34No, he's not going to leave us the house.
17:36Oh, my God.
17:36If only he would have bought it.
17:38Or any house.
17:39Which?
17:3910 years ago.
17:4015.
17:41Well, how was I supposed to buy a house 15 years ago?
17:43I was just getting started, and then I got priced out, and then...
17:45I got divorced.
17:47Remember?
17:47I don't want to lose our home.
17:49Our offices.
17:50I mean, how are we supposed to see our clients?
17:52This is so unfair.
17:54I mean, the only reason that the real estate market is sky high is because we keep these
17:56billionaire man-children sane enough to make that kind of money.
18:00Okay.
18:01I'm going to call Beth back.
18:02No, you don't call.
18:03Okay?
18:04No.
18:04I will call.
18:06Okay.
18:10Carl, please.
18:11Hi.
18:13First of all, I am so sorry about missing our session.
18:18It was, uh...
18:19It's okay.
18:19You're not charging me for it.
18:20No, no.
18:21God, no.
18:22No.
18:22It was a family...
18:23And today's session.
18:25I mean, I'll gladly pay for it, but I don't think I should have to because...
18:29Well, because, um, I'm firing you.
18:33Carl, my son was in the hospital.
18:35Is that what you do to the therapist?
18:37Is that the right word?
18:37You fire them.
18:38Yeah, okay.
18:39I'm firing you.
18:39Yeah.
18:40Either way, I'm done.
18:42I always left here feeling a little bit castrated, and I need my balls, so thank you.
18:50Yeah, have a good day.
18:54I, uh, Carl, wait.
18:56There are other options.
18:57We could, um, we could maybe put a pause on your sessions, or some therapists do, um,
19:03retainers, so that you could, uh, call me if those anger issues arise.
19:08The problem is, is that the anger is what made me the money.
19:10But don't feel bad about it.
19:12You did me a favor when you stood me up like that.
19:15The scales fell from my eyes.
19:17I...
19:17I'm getting back into the game, so thank you.
19:21Thank you, thank you.
19:22I, uh, well, I'm proud of you.
19:24I, uh, what's the, uh, what's the endeavor?
19:29But just because I would hate for you to, to be involved straight out of the gate, the
19:34therapy gate, in, in anything triggering.
19:38I'll be fine.
19:42Thanks.
19:45Thanks.
20:15PHONE RINGS
20:26Leave a message, or better yet, text.
20:29Beth, Joanne Felder here.
20:31Gary and I are heartbroken.
20:33Your father, what an extraordinary man.
20:35Alvin, you know, he and Gary developed a funny kind of bond.
20:39I won't say father-son exactly, but maybe generous uncle, peculiar nephew.
20:46You know, they had their lunches.
20:48Gary always came home with a smile, like a midlife love affair.
20:52Epitonic, obviously.
20:55Right, well, I mean, you must be swamped.
20:57It is a hell of a process, grieving.
21:01My couch is open to you, of course, anytime.
21:05On the house.
21:07Speaking of the house, I was calling to see if you could, between state lawyers and funeral homes, squeeze in
21:15a chat to discuss what you might be thinking.
21:18Or what Alvin was thinking, if he mentioned us in our situation.
21:24Not precarious.
21:26I won't say precarious, precisely, but pre, pre, pre...
21:32I can't seem to finish my sentence.
21:37Beth, we want to talk about the rent.
21:38About, uh, keeping the rent.
21:42Where we could possibly, uh...
21:45Press 3 to delete.
21:52Message delivered.
21:54Fuck!
22:02Hi.
22:10Who's that dude?
22:12That's Sigmund Freud.
22:14Freud?
22:14Yeah?
22:15Are you familiar with Freud?
22:16Wasn't he, like, diddling his sister?
22:18I think you're thinking of Dickens.
22:19Oh, he was, like, the coke fiend, right?
22:21Uh...
22:21Oh, no, it was his daughter.
22:22No, no, no, no.
22:23He wasn't diddling Anna.
22:24Diddle with Anna's head, didn't he?
22:25He analyzed her, and it was...
22:28Some feel inappropriate.
22:29Tell it to the cocaine, right?
22:49Hello?
22:53Hello?
22:56Hello?
23:25Hey, are you, like, Gary Jr.?
23:29You said you were gonna give that cue back.
23:33I mean, I guess I'm not the only klepto, you little bitch.
23:36That was legendary.
23:39Hello?
23:44Coward.
23:53Not now, Joanne, I'm writing.
23:57It's Orson.
23:58Oh, yeah, come in.
23:59Orson, come in.
24:01Hey.
24:01Oh.
24:03Hey.
24:04You okay?
24:05Did you shake at your mom?
24:07Oh, can you teach me how to use the washing machine, please?
24:10Yeah, sure.
24:11No problem.
24:13Oh, what, now?
24:14Uh...
24:15I know I messed up with the stool sample, but, um...
24:19The antibiotics are just...
24:20They're not working, and they're making it worse for me.
24:22I really just...
24:23I can't be like this right now.
24:25Okay, okay, okay.
24:26It is...
24:27It's okay.
24:28It's okay.
24:29This is totally...
24:30This is natural.
24:33Um...
24:34You know, I know this nutritionist.
24:36I'm on a task force with her.
24:38People swear by this woman.
24:39I could call her.
24:41Yeah?
24:42Great.
24:43Come on.
24:45Well, good news.
24:47Sekva felt bad about missing the barbecue.
24:49Tom put the screws to her.
24:50Well, I just pointed out she wasn't helping the vets any by not showing.
24:53Mm-hmm.
24:54So, uh, Sekva approved the transfer of a dozen engineers who know the Mump System and...
24:58What?
24:59Sorry, what?
24:59What system?
25:01Mump System.
25:01It stands for, um, mobile...
25:05Nobody fucking knows anymore.
25:06It's been around longer than me.
25:08And how long have you been at the VA?
25:09No, no, no.
25:10Me.
25:11Tom.
25:11It's pre-moon landing.
25:13They've put patches on top of patches over the decades.
25:16But, you know, that's...
25:17That's what we're trying to do here is cure ourselves of the mumps.
25:21This is...
25:22This is good news.
25:23Oh, this is progress.
25:24Yeah.
25:25The mumps.
25:25Progress.
25:26And how old are these engineers?
25:28Well, we'd be pulling them out of retirement, so, I mean, they're a little older.
25:31Guys.
25:32Guys.
25:33Read the room.
25:3530-year-olds retire here, okay?
25:36This is not a nursing home.
25:37No walkers in my war room.
25:39Okay.
25:40Okay, but this is the job that we are paying you to do.
25:42No, you're not paying me.
25:43Just like fast-track money.
25:45No, or is she taking an old man dump on me?
25:47I can't even sell the data product.
25:49Data product?
25:51What data product are you planning on selling?
25:53Oh, you thought your welfare checks made this project worth my time?
25:58The only play is to sell the vets' data.
26:01Big pharma, insurers.
26:03So you see people in need, and you go to how to sell their medical files?
26:10Yes.
26:10It's called capitalism.
26:12The government ought to try it.
26:13Okay, if we have guardrails, data sales, you know, might work?
26:18No.
26:19No.
26:20This deal's dead.
26:23You, Duncan Park, you are the fucking problem.
26:28Mm-hmm.
26:34Sorry.
26:35Bardo's smart.
26:36He's going to want to steer the ship, but hard no.
26:38Okay?
26:39I'm sorry.
26:39I'm sorry.
26:40He has a quick trigger.
26:42I think this is worth salvaging, Duncan.
26:45Maybe I talk to Tom about meeting somewhere in the...
26:48Don't bother.
26:49Don't bother.
26:52Don't bother.
26:54Okay.
26:54The engagement talks with the ironclad.
26:57From a synergy POV, do you want a wall around his people?
26:59Yes.
27:16Hey.
27:17Hey.
27:18Hi.
27:19Do we really need to take a helicopter?
27:21Pipitang wants to meet you.
27:30Good news.
27:32Hmm?
27:32Pip is rescheduling for tomorrow.
27:35Great.
27:35Let's go home.
27:36What?
27:36I miss a night in Napa.
27:38What?
27:39Look, Lily, my daughter.
27:40She's what?
27:41Fifteen?
27:42She'll be fine.
27:43Does she know how to work a microwave?
27:45Don't fret.
27:48Pip will pony up, but she likes to make us beg for it.
27:50What does she get in return?
27:52Her name on the stadium.
27:54And she'll express her priorities for the school and...
27:57But what if I can't agree to them?
27:59The $40 million?
28:01Just lie back and shine brightly.
28:05You don't have to light, Pipitang.
28:07I don't happen to.
28:10Just think what we can do with $40 million.
28:13I'm going to book us a spa.
28:16All these tests they put you through, poking and prodding, just makes you feel like a freak
28:21for having a natural human body.
28:23I mean, hello.
28:24We're all just factories for shit.
28:27And blood.
28:28And pus.
28:30And milk, sometimes.
28:31I mean, it's what we do.
28:34We ooze.
28:35We secrete.
28:36And they'll never take that away from us.
28:40He's all set.
28:43I've got a custom tincture just for you.
28:46It is my proprietary blend.
28:48It will adapt itself to shake up your whole microflora economy.
28:52Hmm, interesting.
28:53What, uh, what's in there?
28:55Well, it's proprietary.
28:57Hmm.
28:57But mostly Chinese herbs, solicited reductions, compounds to reduce inflammation.
29:01So that's going to fix my shit factory?
29:03You bet.
29:04Here you go.
29:0520 drops to start.
29:07And then three drops.
29:08Three times a day.
29:09Okay.
29:09Three and three.
29:10Great, great.
29:10What's the damage on everything?
29:12The damage.
29:14Oh, yes, sorry.
29:15Uh, well, of course, I will apply the medical colleague's discount.
29:18Thank you so much.
29:19It's great.
29:19And the consultation fee.
29:21It's included with the proprietary prescriptions.
29:23Uh-huh.
29:23The total, then, it is $1,962.
29:27Oh, I didn't realize.
29:28We can just maybe don't take...
29:29Yeah, okay.
29:30Uh, I...
29:30It's activated.
29:32Right, it all right.
29:33And how much does this full insurance cover?
29:35Oh, of course, insurance companies, they only cover phylocentric, western normative treatments.
29:41Okay.
29:41Um, take credit cards?
29:45Let me grab the machine.
29:46Great.
29:47Okay.
29:49Um, we're not going to tell your mom about this, huh?
29:53Lily, this is...
29:55It's all too much.
29:57Too much?
29:59That's my not enough.
30:02No.
30:03You know, I don't come from great wealth either.
30:05But I practice radical acceptance, and now being rich is second nature.
30:11You know, it's possible to adjust to any identity, really.
30:14Wouldn't you agree?
30:16I'm just rolling with whatever comes.
30:18Yeah, I like that.
30:20Like in Aspen, right?
30:22The education thingy?
30:24I was so excited to find the perfect leader for Los Altos.
30:28Walked up, made you the offer right on the spot.
30:33When did you realize I meant to make the offer to Pamela Douglas?
30:37Do you mean, when did I realize he mixed up the only two black women at the summit?
30:45If I did.
30:46Thirty seconds.
30:48You knowingly infiltrated or suborned a wool-pulling antic.
30:53And you can't tell black women apart.
30:56I had been drinking, and I think with the altitude and...
31:00You offered it to me.
31:03I signed my own name on the contract.
31:05I never won slide.
31:07We're being honest?
31:08Mm-hmm.
31:09My daughter is brilliant.
31:10Really brilliant.
31:12And deserves to go to Stanford.
31:14Los Altos is the best theater school, so...
31:18Good for you.
31:20Still.
31:22This is not a great look for either of us.
31:24I'm not arguing that.
31:25But I do need to know if someone asks...
31:30I'm not gonna lie.
31:31You stood there in my backyard as I introduced a Harvard graduate.
31:35You said nothing.
31:36Just keep saying nothing.
31:39Or this all falls apart for you.
31:42For Harmony.
31:43There's nothing I can do to help.
31:47I'm gonna take it to our graves.
31:50Fine.
31:52You first.
31:55You first.
31:59You first.
32:01Here's the phone number.
32:04Name?
32:05Jameson Esme Park.
32:07Your daughter?
32:08Yeah.
32:10She'll never forgive you.
32:11She's not gonna find out.
32:12Why can't you just...
32:14Why can't I get one of those Pakistani CTOs with that H1N1 visa?
32:18Because, like, when they won, I could send them back to Bangor.
32:20Bangalore, India.
32:21And H1N1 is the bird flu.
32:29Looks like she used to torrent Sailor Moon.
32:31No, I...
32:31I don't want to know about sex stuff.
32:33Okay, just tell me...
32:34Tell me if she's stealing.
32:36Pirating is stealing.
32:38Oh, yeah, it is.
32:41Oh, Jim, Jim.
32:43Hey, get it down!
32:44I'm sorry.
32:45Carl Vardoff is early.
32:47Vardoff!
32:48Oh, this is where you keep all the good stuff?
32:50Yeah, I wasn't expecting you till, um...
32:53Well, I could pretend that I messed up the time,
32:55but I did, in fact, want to catch you with your pants down.
32:59Sorry to disappoint you.
33:00But, yeah, please sit.
33:02Say, make yourself comfortable.
33:04We had a whole thing prepared.
33:07Here's the chickadee.
33:08Oh, uh, Harper.
33:09Why don't we show Mr. Vardoff the power of Noadin?
33:14We triangulated this guy's metadata from multiple data lakes.
33:20Sending him a coffee coupon.
33:23Now...
33:2772% chance.
33:32Please tell me there's something besides this.
33:34Well, 72% means there's a...
33:36There's a 100% chance that this does not work for me.
33:38This is just baseline tech.
33:39There's... there's... there's more.
33:42There's so much more.
33:44Stuff that no one else has.
33:46Prepare to have your mind blown.
33:47You have two minutes.
33:48Stan stays as long as you can vouch for his secrecy.
33:51I cut his tongue out.
33:52Get on with it, please.
33:54You two are about to feed the third and fourth people on Earth
33:56to see what we can do here.
33:58Orlando Lee.
33:59CEO of SMOTE.
34:00You've heard of him.
34:01Of course you have.
34:02After running billions of Monte Carlo simulations
34:05predicted by our god, Tier Algo, we called Noadin.
34:08What was it, Harper?
34:09The percentage of certainty?
34:1332.
34:14Nope.
34:14Of certainty.
34:15Wasn't it 89?
34:16Yes.
34:17It was 89.
34:18Yeah, I'm certain this is a giant waste of my time.
34:20Stan?
34:21Oh yeah, he doesn't have a tongue.
34:22I will speak for him.
34:23What the fuck are you doing?
34:2689% certainty Lee is pushed out of SMOTE in the next 48 hours.
34:30Come on, how did you get that?
34:31We are perched on the shoulders of everyone in his sphere, all seeing.
34:35We know which execs just got a prescription to Benzos.
34:38Who'd cancel their trips to Bureau of Ritz?
34:40Who's buying tampons?
34:41Their spouse's data stream?
34:43Their kid's test scores?
34:44The doorman's bank account?
34:46Okay, so you grab a bunch of loose facts and you slap on the narrative and this is what
34:51you call information?
34:52Information with insight.
34:55Like if you fused a quant with a psychiatrist.
34:59Because if I'm right, Lee is fired.
35:02Leading to a 94% chance that the stock rises.
35:05But only briefly because who wants to be the sacrificial suit?
35:08So, power vacuum.
35:10Stock falls.
35:11And what do we got on that, Hartford?
35:13Uh, 79%?
35:14Uh, not quite.
35:1577.9.
35:16Uh, let's just call it 78.
35:1878%.
35:18Code monkeys, you know?
35:20Then, note in psycho-economics.
35:22Psycho-economics.
35:23Yes.
35:23Psycho-economics.
35:24It tells us toxic loyalty will lead to an 84% chance that he's rehired, leading to a 97%
35:31chance.
35:31That stock skyrockets from that news.
35:34You ride that whole wave, Carl, with shorts and buys, and you get to take, like, four
35:41bites out of that apple.
35:42Your algorithm says all that?
35:44I bought 150,000 shares of smoke last night.
35:50Okay, we'll be in touch.
35:52Thank you for the tarot reading.
35:53You're leaving?
35:54Uh, yeah.
35:57Probably should have mentioned that Carl was Rolando's mentor.
36:01But then you probably already know that.
36:04You are the fucking data guy, right?
36:10I thought that guy couldn't talk.
36:12If any of that had any validity...
36:15Trust me, it does.
36:16I swear.
36:17If he goes and warns Orlando, he's going to rewrite the future.
36:20And then...
36:21Someone's fucking their own mother.
36:23And I think it's me.
36:27That was divine.
36:30Do we get dessert?
36:32Chocolate ketchup?
36:34Uh, yes.
36:35No, I can't.
36:37I'm sorry.
36:38No.
36:39When I was Jamie's age, I used to eat a whole box of penne with Alfredo sauce so thick you
36:45could spackle a wall.
36:47Sometimes I didn't even hurl.
36:48Do not tell Jamie that.
36:49But she already thinks I've got food issues.
36:54I don't always relate to my own daughter.
36:56Is that awful to say?
36:58No.
36:59She's a teenager.
37:00Yeah.
37:02Duncan says she's stealing from us.
37:05Oh.
37:06Yeah.
37:07Like she puts...
37:07Hey, thank you.
37:09Thanks.
37:10Yeah, she like puts her little trophies in the school trophy case.
37:15Is she the one who smashed it?
37:16No, no, no, no.
37:17No, that was Duncan.
37:18And he's paying for the repairs with interest.
37:21Is he...
37:23Violent at home?
37:24No.
37:25I wish.
37:27Tell me about Perfect Harmony's daddy.
37:29Where's he?
37:30He was just a friend of ours.
37:32Yeah, he agreed to, you know, cough up.
37:35It was my egg Darcy carried.
37:37Oh.
37:38I didn't have you down as a lady's lady.
37:41So Donde esta Mrs. Darcy.
37:44L.A.
37:45Actress.
37:46Yeah.
37:47She ran off with another Darcy.
37:50That was almost worse than the betrayal.
37:52Oh, lady.
37:54I've been there.
37:55Hmm?
37:56Keep thinking I'm over it and then...
37:58Oh, you probably met her at the luncheon.
38:01Anushka Adichera.
38:03She's awful.
38:05I made such a great hire.
38:08Come on.
38:09Grab the bottle.
38:10Come on.
38:17Did you see my pottery work?
38:19The giant bong?
38:21Yeah.
38:22May, uh...
38:23You didn't do a bong test.
38:24You made a bowl.
38:26Lilac glaze.
38:27Very tasteful, too.
38:28Remember, Martin?
38:29Yes.
38:31Uh, lilac.
38:33Very nice.
38:34Dad, eyes on me.
38:36What was my history project on?
38:38Yeah, one second.
38:39Estimating how many people could fit in the Roman Coliseum.
38:42He asked him.
38:46It's a wonder you saw any of that, given how you were with Duncan Park for a while.
38:54What were you two up to?
38:56I'm on his board.
38:59I'm on his board.
39:01The company isn't doing great.
39:04Neither is he.
39:06It's trying to stop a public meltdown in the midst of 500 of the Valley's most influential parents.
39:14Are you insinuating something?
39:18No.
39:20That explains it.
39:33That explains it.
40:00Oh, did you draft me, you piece of shit?
40:02You cannot do this.
40:03You cannot.
40:03Do what?
40:05You don't want Orlando over there.
40:07You're a protege.
40:08Oh, did your all-knowing algo predict what I'm going to do?
40:11Did it? Did it?
40:15That's free will. You have no idea what this is about to do.
40:19I live in the air of margin, pal.
40:21You didn't say anything to him yet?
40:23Yeah, I said, howdy, where's the keg?
40:26If you tell him what I told you, we will never know if I was right or not.
40:34It's Schroeder's cat.
40:36Is Schroeder ignorant to me dunce?
40:39Don't call me dunce.
40:41Then don't be a dunce.
40:42If you really thought I was one, you wouldn't be here.
40:45Actually being here, it proves to me that you believe in my algo.
40:50Maybe, maybe, Jesus.
40:53Maybe it scares you.
40:55My hot potato's too hot in your soft, tattletale hands.
40:59You know this is how you used to do business?
41:02This is why you vanished from the scene, Carl?
41:04Huh?
41:05I show you tech that will revolutionize how we predict behavior.
41:09And you run to the playground to tell your boyfriend?
41:13You're so ugly!
41:16I have jumped through every hoop you put in front of me because I'm a fighter.
41:21You don't think I'm a fighter?
41:23Oh, wait.
41:23I got your point.
41:24You've made your point.
41:25Oh, good.
41:26I thank you for hearing me.
41:30I love this guy.
41:31This dude used to drop dudes twice his size and half his age.
41:35Who's this dude?
41:36Orlando Lee, I'd like you to meet someone.
41:39This is Duncan Park.
41:40He's a fighter.
41:42Hey, all right.
41:44You want to do it?
41:45No, no, no.
41:46He wasn't.
41:47He didn't be in it that way.
41:48So, not a fighter.
41:51So your manhood is a metaphor?
41:56You got our next fight.
42:16I didn't get a weapon.
42:18Yeah, no, okay.
42:19Okay.
42:20Come on.
42:35No, no, no, no, no, no.
42:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
43:24He said control is the lead, asshole.
43:26Let him go.
43:42I wanted to show you something.
43:49When is that?
43:50The surface of the moon?
43:51It's my home in Napa.
43:54It burned down.
43:57Oh, my God.
43:58Oh, you know who our neighbor was and whose house is fine?
44:03Pippa fucking Tan, our daughter.
44:07So when the fires were raging, Pippa bribed our private firefighters double to protect her
44:14house instead.
44:16Wow.
44:16You know the only thing that's left?
44:21Is that a bench?
44:22A marble bench in our former garden.
44:28Duncan asked me to marry him there.
44:31He doesn't even care.
44:35I'm so sorry.
44:37No, I'm so sorry.
44:40I married a terrible actress from a hemorrhoid commercial who is also a whore.
44:51Give me her number.
44:53Her number?
44:54Yeah.
44:54So, Dunkey gave me this app.
44:56It hides your number and your voice.
44:59It makes you sound like that Darth Vader guy.
45:05Okay.
45:08Her name is Darcy.
45:09Darcy?
45:09Yeah.
45:10You're a little slut.
45:12Darcy.
45:13Darcy.
45:13So is Darcy.
45:14Darcy.
45:14Other Darcy.
45:15You hemorrhoid, dumb, dumb, stupid girl dummy.
45:21Oh, my God.
45:25Oh, my God.
45:26I just killed myself.
45:28Oh, my God.
45:30I urinated.
45:33Oh, my God.
45:40Crisscross.
45:52Hello.
45:53We know what you did.
45:57The betrayal.
45:58What would Cupertino think of you and Duncan if they knew?
46:09Oh, my God.
46:13Are you feeling overwhelmed?
46:15Try to remember your life has value, Enosuka.
46:20Shut up!
46:21Just close your stupid gob!
46:24When you carry shame around, you make people around you unhappy.
46:27You seem riddled with anxiety and guilt, Enosuka.
46:31Try breathing and counting backwards from ten.
46:35Ten?
46:36Nine?
46:37Nine?
46:51Hello, Nana.
46:54Sorry if it's late.
46:55I'm calling to set the record straight on hypnosis.
46:59Deep background.
47:00You can say, a source close to Cupertino.
47:09The acquisition talks failed.
47:20The acquisition talks failed.
47:31But then Alvin turns to me and he says, Gary, what the hell happened to our neighborhood?
47:36Since when did giving a damn about your neighbors become a four-letter word?
47:40They don't make them like that anymore.
47:41No, we don't.
47:42Hi.
47:42Oh, my God.
47:43Beth, hi.
47:44I didn't know you were coming by.
47:45I would have, I, I, I, I am so, so sorry about your dad.
47:52Oh, I'm so sorry to barge in like this.
47:55No, please.
47:57Oh, this is Irvin.
48:00Hi.
48:01Great to meet you.
48:01You too.
48:03Beth just told me how much your dad had told you both.
48:06And he was always, speaking of you, so warmly.
48:11I know he really admired how you two both do good work.
48:16And you, you don't expect to make as much as everyone else here does.
48:20I always wished I could be more like him.
48:23But I just, I hate to say it.
48:25I always tell her, it's okay to care about money.
48:29And do you are the, um, the brother or the husband?
48:34Irvin's handling the sale.
48:36We're going to list at eight.
48:38Probably would sell closer to eight point four.
48:41But we wanted to propose if you could pay all cash, we'd give you to a listing.
48:48Wow.
48:57We'll get Pippa at the winter gala.
48:59It'll be fine.
49:00But you can't tell the board.
49:02What am I supposed to say?
49:04Tell them food poisoning.
49:06The chopper crashed.
49:07So another lie.
49:08I think you'll manage, Beatrice.
49:10I feel pretty sure of it.
49:13We'll be fine.
49:13Child, from the student who knows
49:18That to have one of those
49:20Would be a suicide
49:22And everybody sings
49:27Yeah
49:32All right
49:33We'll be fine
49:35We'll be fine
49:39We'll be fine
49:42We'll be fine
50:03We'll be fine
50:07We'll be fine
50:11On the National Express
50:26What do you think about one seat for me and one for my number two here?
50:29You'd let him call you that
50:33What's that on your forehead, buddy?
50:35Forget money
50:36Where do you want to be?
50:39Societal collapses upon us and sooner than you think
50:42I miss you, man
50:43If you don't have the bone mass
50:44What the hell are you watching?
50:46You did this
50:47You stabbed me in the back
50:49Of my heart
50:56In episode 104
50:57You will see the Tech Bro Fight Club
51:00Which is, in fact, a real thing
51:03This is Duncan Park
51:05He's a fighter
51:06He didn't be in it that way
51:07So your manhood is a metaphor?
51:10You got our next fight
51:11It's Tech Bros wanting to feel the realness of physical combat
51:17And all the things that are just metaphorical during their daytime activity
51:22Where they are being told to fight
51:24To have that kind of warlike Sun Tzu aggression in their business life
51:29I think there's just a lot of, like, especially nowadays, what is it to be a man?
51:33And I guess that answers their question for them sometimes
51:42No, no background
51:44Well, here they're going to do it in a back warehouse to get their ya-ya's out
51:49And to feel what that masculine warrior energy is
51:54Just been kicked in the balls
51:55Three, two, action
52:00I couldn't resist not having that be part of the fabric of our Silicon Valley
52:04I show you Tech, that will revolutionize how we predict behavior
52:08And you run to the playground to tell your boyfriend?
52:11The thing that Duncan can say legitimately to Bardolph is
52:15I've jumped through every hoop you've put in front of me
52:18And he puts another one in front of him
52:21He succeeds in a way that's emotionally very real
52:24Me strangling Orlando Lee at the end with his eyes fixed on Bardolph
52:29It is a way of saying, I am a fucking warrior
52:32And not to be taken lightly
52:34He's still in control of the Lee, asshole, let him go
52:37I think that's what Bardolph sees in me, does not give up
52:40Now they're ready to go to the next phase of their relationship
52:45When did you realize I meant to make the offer to Pamela Douglas?
52:48When did I realize he mixed up the only two black women at the summit?
52:52If I did
52:5330 seconds
52:54In episode four, there's more than just Fight Club
52:57There's also the fight between Lily and Beatrice
53:00It's almost like they have a summit meeting at the spa
53:02Where all of these truths come out
53:04When we take it to our graves
53:06Fine
53:08You first
53:10It's a fun dance between the two of them, literally in mud
53:13And then it's almost like this
53:16We have a lot more in common series of scenes that follow
53:20Almost a friendship is emerging between the two of them
53:23So Dunkey gave me this app
53:24It hides your number and your voice
53:27Hello
53:28We know what you did
53:30What would Cupertino think of you and Duncan if they knew?
53:35Oh my god
53:38Are you feeling overwhelmed?
53:40Try to remember your life has value, Inesuka
53:44Shut up!
53:45Anushka takes that Easter Island head
53:48Which symbolizes ancient beliefs
53:50And smashes this new technology
53:54That's this sort of collision point that I kind of adore it
53:57That idea that the AI bot has provoked her to violence
54:00And when we get to episode 5
54:02We'll see what the consequences of that violence are
54:05I'm calling to set the record straight on hypnosis
54:09The acquisition talks fail
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