- 6 days ago
The Audacity S01E04 (2026)
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TVTranscript
00:01Well, Joanne, you were wrong about me.
00:03You tried to cut me off at the knees, but I grew new shins.
00:08And now I am big enough to forgive you.
00:12And I got news, oh, and I know you're gonna wanna hear it.
00:15I've been doubting myself, my abilities, but fucking A, this guy is formidable.
00:22And I just had the most volcanic sex with someone who's been with me the whole time.
00:26My most committed sexual partner.
00:30Myself.
00:32I loved myself.
00:38Isn't that the whole point of therapy?
00:41I gave love to me.
00:46Maybe it's the most important love of all.
00:49It wasn't whatever penetrative sex with my wife, but I penetrated my fist.
01:00You know what?
01:01That fist, that fist is now a symbol of my strength against all odds.
01:09And my belief in me.
01:14Okay, call me back.
01:15It's Duncan.
01:18Shut up!
01:24Friends.
01:26Quants.
01:28Sons of Milpitas.
01:31Hypergnomes, assemble!
01:33Ask not if we will have the honor of hosting the legend and new partner and board member, Carl Bardoff.
01:45We will.
01:46We will.
01:46He's coming.
01:47Carl Bardoff is coming.
01:48He is one of us!
01:51Yes!
01:53Yes!
01:54Yes!
01:55Yes!
01:58No!
01:59Nooo, I'm sorry, sorry.
02:01Okay, okay!
02:03We're gonna make money, Motorffer I call!
02:18I'm sorry, stop.
02:26Second, I'm beefing up Xander's back, Anne.
02:32Can't you hurry up?
02:34No, I can't.
02:35Martin.
02:37You're mad.
02:38You seem mad.
02:40Er, you're mad at me?
02:42You want me to vomit up all the awful things you said about me last night?
02:46I've better things to do, Martin.
02:49I only repeated all the demeaning things you said to me about Xander.
02:54That was, that was talk.
02:57That was, I was offering you my help, my time, my smarts.
03:02Something that most people actually value.
03:05Cupertino, for instance, only the most important tech company to ever exist.
03:10You said they don't value you.
03:13Know what?
03:14Fuck her off, Martin.
03:24Better yet, ask Alexander if I'd be a net positive on your team.
03:30Go on.
03:31Road scholar.
03:33Doctorate in philosophy, Oxford.
03:35New York Times bestseller.
03:37And yes, don't even say it, Martin.
03:39One week on the list definitely counts.
03:41Go on, ask him.
03:42Then bugger off.
03:49Did you take your antibiotics?
03:51Yes, and they're just making it worse.
03:52Well, consider yourself lucky they didn't put you on heartworm pills.
04:03Honey, your needs are my needs.
04:05But my needs are also my needs.
04:07And I need to give my needs a bit more attention.
04:11Truth is, I'm not upset anymore.
04:14I'm just recalibrating.
04:22Flat white, please, for Anishka.
04:25Sure.
04:36Hey.
04:38Your proposal was in psychotherapists for the workers at a guanjal factories.
04:43That was a prank.
04:45Prank.
04:46It's a bunch of us thought.
04:47Maybe Big Tim was sure it wasn't, but it was a prank, right?
04:51No.
04:52It certainly wasn't a prank.
04:55Damn.
04:55Big Tim always wins.
05:00Well, they're rioting now.
05:01So I guess the window for mindfulness has officially closed?
05:05Different factory.
05:06Right.
05:07Well, in that case, it's been considered at the highest levels
05:10and was found to be, sadly, utterly unworkable.
05:13But Tim also found it to be hysterical.
05:18You know how he is.
05:20He loses faith in someone, especially if he suspects disloyalty.
05:24He'd be quite cruel.
05:26Unforgiving, even.
05:27He forgave you for the massage therapist on your corporate card.
05:30You know what?
05:31Yeah, but did you like say that?
05:32Yeah, but did you like say that?
05:34Yeah.
05:34Dude, everybody's talking about it.
05:37Yeah, and then, like, wrote it down.
05:39Yeah, I mean, like, I don't know.
05:42Yeah, I mean, like, I don't know.
05:56Help us finance our brand new stadium.
05:59Give!
06:00Give!
06:01Give!
06:02Give!
06:07Why do we need the stadium again?
06:09Do we have many or any athletes here?
06:12That's why we need a stadium.
06:14We need to start talking it up to parents of any prospective kids
06:17who even look like they throw a ball.
06:18Beatrice, I wanted to ask you, when you were at Harvard,
06:21did you know Millicent Giblin?
06:23What class were you in?
06:24Jason's ex.
06:25She used to attend bar at that place.
06:27You know, behind the coop.
06:29Grendel's Den.
06:30That's the one.
06:32I'm afraid I don't know Millicent.
06:33Parents and guardians need to be making your way
06:36to your child's first year.
06:37Okay, well, good to see you.
06:38Beatrice, it's always so hard to tell,
06:40and you look so young.
06:42What?
06:43You were at Harvard.
06:46Lilia, I never went to Harvard.
06:48All my degrees are from University of Wisconsin-Madison.
06:51Bachelor's, master's, and doctorate.
06:53That's funny.
06:55Wisconsin.
06:56Good comp lit program.
06:58Great Nepalese food.
07:11Hey.
07:12Hey.
07:13Made it.
07:14Fine.
07:15Hey, can you do Jamie's first period?
07:19I have some trustee business.
07:24A robust art market starts right here.
07:28Finding creators of future value,
07:32cultivating the taste of future collectors.
07:36We're starting with bridges because art is about connecting.
07:40So find someone new, not your life partner,
07:43and let's build something together.
07:46Sir, there is someone who's looking for you.
07:49One partner now.
07:52I saw those stinko investments you were taking.
07:55Seemed hard, but dumber.
07:56You need to stop spying on me.
07:58No, listen.
07:59I know you don't want me going through your underwear drawer, right?
08:03But let's be fair.
08:05That's why I keep you underwear.
08:06Ew.
08:07Can I just tell you my nose?
08:09I got bored off.
08:12I did.
08:12He's mesting.
08:13And he's joining the board.
08:15Yeah.
08:16After everything.
08:17Even if he left a scar.
08:20I...
08:21I'm impressed.
08:24And look, Duncan, I can recommend a new therapist for you.
08:27What?
08:27I really don't think you should be without one.
08:30You think I'm a lost cause.
08:31I don't.
08:32I just think you are a sucker for shortcuts.
08:35What does that mean?
08:35Look, I have a client.
08:37She's got daddy issues as thorny as yours.
08:40And she's had a string of toxic men,
08:42all while holding down a big job.
08:44Serves on boards.
08:44Impressive, but miserable.
08:47But then we did the work.
08:50And she's turned things around.
08:52And she is cutting all of them out of her life.
08:56She's even dating a woman now.
08:59Ingrid?
09:00In your tower?
09:02No.
09:05All right.
09:06How's everyone doing?
09:08Let's liven things up and switch partners.
09:11Like a square hand.
09:13Hey, hey, hey.
09:14You okay?
09:15Yeah?
09:15Yeah, I'm fine.
09:16Hey, mind if I jump in?
09:19Odd man out.
09:21Do you mind if we ruffle up?
09:22Okay.
09:23Okay.
09:24Let's just say it is Ingrid, right?
09:26She's on the board of SMO.
09:28And Orlando Lee is the CEO.
09:30Most toxic man to ever live.
09:33I mean, he makes his employees wear astronaut diapers while they're coding.
09:36So Orlando Lee is your star patient's bones.
09:40Right?
09:41I mean, is she trying to cut him out?
09:44No.
09:44And her name isn't Ingrid.
09:46I'm cool.
09:47Sure.
09:47Okay.
09:47But she's collecting votes.
09:49Boardroom coup.
09:50Bye-bye toxic man.
09:52United we purge.
09:56The stock is going to soar.
09:59The stock's not going to soar.
10:01Everybody hates this guy.
10:02Yeah, well, I'm just saying it's probably not going to soar for long.
10:05It'll bump for one virtuous minute.
10:07How are we doing over here?
10:08Great.
10:09Is that you're good?
10:09This is fabulous.
10:11Really inspiring stuff.
10:14Toxic men succeed because the fear they create produces...
10:18What?
10:18What?
10:19Loyalty.
10:20Ingrid may have fixed her daddy issues.
10:22The valley has not.
10:23No one can fill his shoes.
10:24It's a looser option.
10:26And for most, loyalty forbids even trying.
10:28So, power vacuum.
10:30Monster returns.
10:31Monster wins.
10:32And then the stock will take off like rust without mercy.
10:38Oh, Joanne.
10:39Boy, I wish we had our session tomorrow.
10:41You are so good.
10:43Like, I know you hate me.
10:45Maybe you even wish me physical pain.
10:47But I just have to say, I'm serious.
10:50Because you are an incredibly talented person.
10:53If you were running the world, it would be a better place.
10:58I know.
11:00Yeah.
11:01All right.
11:02Show me what you got.
11:23I want 150,000 shares.
11:27Smooth.
11:32Junkin.
11:35You don't kind of seem like you're having a therapy session.
11:38Do you really think that's appropriate?
11:40Well, if you don't violate them, how are you supposed to know where your boundaries are?
11:43But you're right.
11:44Yeah.
11:44Yeah.
11:45No.
11:45Tonight, tonight's about the children.
11:47Yeah.
11:48This one's pretty good.
11:49A little Grace Clancy.
11:53Sweet, right?
11:54Let me ask you, Gary.
11:56Do you think my empathy makes me a better art lover?
11:59I do have quite a collection.
12:01That's actually an interesting question.
12:04Like, does one need a developed sense of empathy to appreciate great art?
12:09I mean, I would say yes, but...
12:25Anoushka, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
12:28Sometimes I'm not good at saying things.
12:30I am sorry.
12:31Will you forgive me?
12:34Say what?
12:41Well, wow, Mary Poppins is in a temper.
12:44Not here.
12:47What are you...
12:53Did you call her?
12:54Uh, yeah.
12:56No, who?
12:57Sorry.
12:58The bloody reporter, Nana Marks.
13:00Oh, I hate her.
13:00I hate her.
13:02Did you read any of my texts?
13:05I'm persona non gratia at Cupertino.
13:07They think I leaked the acquisition rumor.
13:10They think I'm profiting.
13:12You're dead to me unless you solve this.
13:14Okay, okay.
13:14How can I help?
13:15Just tell me.
13:16Call, Nana.
13:17Put the rumors to bed.
13:18She's got to print that the talks between Cupertino and hypnosis are over.
13:23Stop it!
13:23Stop it!
13:25Set the record straight.
13:27On the record.
13:29Take your medicine.
13:30Okay.
13:30If you'll be in my ass, going full of sugar.
13:32Duncan, I am being 10,000% serious.
13:35And I am 10,000% going to call Nana Marks, okay?
13:38Because in a few days, Carl Bardoff is to invest $300 million in Hyper-G.
13:43That's serious enough for you?
13:47You bagged Bardo.
13:48Oh, I bagged him.
13:49I bagged him good.
13:50And that's exactly what I'm going to tell Nana Marks.
13:52He's a giant.
13:53No.
13:53And when Carl and I close, I swear, I will shout it to everyone.
13:56And Big Tim will know that you are true and loyal.
13:59And he'd do a little vindication.
14:01Chomp chomp on his desk.
14:02You know, splash a little ankle.
14:03Stop it.
14:03Stop it.
14:05I would if I could.
14:06I would if I could.
14:08I just want you to know that I think you're a very talented person.
14:17And if you were running the world, no doubt it would be a better place.
14:47Oh, we're doing this.
14:50Okay.
14:51Okay, okay.
14:59Let's go.
15:35Please proceed safely to the front door of the school.
15:37Duncan.
15:39Lily, where you been?
15:41The board business.
15:42Come on, we need to leave now.
15:44Yeah, I was at art.
15:45Okay, I did math.
15:46Thank you so much.
15:47What?
15:48Duncan, please, what are you doing?
15:52Duncan, what are you...
15:54Hey, hey, you, um, can you open this?
15:56That's my, that is mine.
15:58Please.
15:58That is mine.
15:59We're good, Al, thank you.
16:00Oh, my God, this is mine.
16:01What?
16:01This is my cube.
16:02That's my cube.
16:03What is wrong with you?
16:04Oh, fuck.
16:05Jameson.
16:07Jameson stole my cube.
16:08That is...
16:08Oh, my...
16:09You said Thelma took it.
16:10No, she swore up and down that Thelma was innocent.
16:13Don't fire her, Daddy.
16:14No, this...
16:15Oh, my God.
16:16I don't...
16:16I don't know, Duncan, but listen, I...
16:18We've got to leave...
16:20What are you doing?
16:22Sick!
16:25Come on.
16:25Mind a check.
16:26Let's go.
16:34I'm so sorry for your loss.
16:36Yeah, may his, um...
16:38May his memory be a blessing.
16:41Oh, why wouldn't it be a blessing?
16:43Oh, no, no, I wasn't suggesting.
16:45Otherwise, it's...
16:46It's an expression.
16:48It's a Jewish...
16:50Nope.
16:51Oh, yep.
16:51Oh, okay.
16:53Bye-bye.
16:56Um...
16:57Alvin died.
16:59Alvin the landlord?
17:00Yeah.
17:01Oh, no.
17:02I know.
17:04Such a sweet man.
17:06Oh, no.
17:06You know, I always felt that he kept the rent down because he knew that I was helping people.
17:11And, you know, he really liked you.
17:12He always...
17:13He always said, she's a dish.
17:15Who owns our house now?
17:16I guess his daughter, Beth.
17:18She's...
17:18I don't know.
17:19She wasn't very pleasant.
17:20I mean, she's a lawyer.
17:22Say no more.
17:22Gary, she's going to jack the rent.
17:24Well...
17:24Or sell.
17:25Sell it out from under us.
17:26And why not?
17:27I mean, it's probably worth...
17:28You know, there might be a world in which he left us the house.
17:317.5 million?
17:34Oh, yeah.
17:34No, he's not going to leave us the house.
17:36Oh, my God.
17:36If only you would have bought it.
17:38Or any house.
17:39Which?
17:3910 years ago.
17:4015.
17:41Well, how was I supposed to buy a house 15 years ago?
17:43I was just getting started, and then I got priced out, and then I got divorced.
17:47Remember?
17:47I don't want to lose our home.
17:50Our offices.
17:50I mean, how are we supposed to see our clients?
17:52This is so unfair.
17:54I mean, the only reason that the real estate market is sky high is because we keep these
17:57billionaire man-children sane enough to make that kind of money.
18:00Okay.
18:01I'm going to call Beth.
18:02No, you don't call.
18:03Okay?
18:04No.
18:04I will call.
18:06Okay.
18:09Carl.
18:10Please.
18:11Hi.
18:13First of all, I am so sorry about missing our session.
18:18It was, uh...
18:19It's okay.
18:19You're not charging me for it.
18:20No.
18:21No.
18:21God, no.
18:22No.
18:22It was a family...
18:23And today's session.
18:25I mean, I'll gladly pay for it, but I don't think I should.
18:27Have to, because...
18:29Well, because, um...
18:31I'm firing you.
18:33Carl, my son was in the hospital.
18:35Is that what you do to the therapist?
18:37Is that the right word?
18:37You fire them.
18:38Yeah, okay.
18:39I'm firing you.
18:39Yeah.
18:40Either way, I'm done.
18:42I always left here feeling a little bit...
18:47castrated.
18:47And I need my balls, so...
18:50Yeah, have a...
18:53Good...
18:53Have a good day.
18:54I...
18:55Carl, wait.
18:55There are...
18:56Other options.
18:57We could, um...
18:58We could maybe...
18:59Put a pause on your sessions.
19:01Or some therapists do, um...
19:03Retainers.
19:04So that you could call me if those anger issues arise.
19:08The problem is, is that the anger is what made me the money.
19:10But don't feel bad about it.
19:12You did me a favor when you stood me up like that.
19:15The scales fell from my eyes.
19:17I...
19:18I'm getting back into the game, so thank you.
19:21Thank you, thank you, thank you.
19:22I, uh...
19:22Well, I'm proud of you.
19:24I, uh...
19:25What's the, uh...
19:26What's the endeavor?
19:29Just because I would hate for you to...
19:32To be involved straight out of the gate, the therapy gate, in...
19:35In anything...
19:38Triggering.
19:38I'll be fine.
19:42Thanks.
19:43I'll be fine.
20:26Leave a message, or better yet, text.
20:29Beth, Joanne Felder here.
20:31Gary and I are heartbroken.
20:33Your father, what an extraordinary man.
20:35Alvin, you know, he and Gary developed a funny kind of bond.
20:39I won't say father-son exactly, but maybe generous uncle, peculiar nephew.
20:46They had their lunches.
20:48Gary always came home with a smile, like a midlife love affair.
20:52A platonic, obviously.
20:55Right.
20:55Well, I mean, you must be swamped.
20:57It's...
20:58It is a hell of a process, grieving.
21:01My couch is open to you, of course, anytime.
21:05On the house.
21:06Speaking of the house, I was calling to see if you could, between state lawyers and funeral
21:14homes, squeeze in a chat to discuss what you might be thinking, or what Alvin was thinking,
21:20if he mentioned us in our situation.
21:24Not precarious.
21:25I won't say precarious, precisely, but pre, pre, pre, uh, pre...
21:32I can't seem to finish my sentence.
21:36Uh, Beth, we want to talk about the rent.
21:39About, uh, keeping the rent.
21:42Where we could possibly, uh...
21:45Press 3 to delete.
21:52Message delivered.
21:54Fuck!
22:02Hi.
22:10Who's that dude?
22:12That's Sigmund Freud.
22:14Freud?
22:14Yeah?
22:15Are you familiar?
22:16With Freud?
22:16Wasn't he, like, diddling his sister?
22:18I think you're thinking of Dickens.
22:19Oh, he was, like, the coke fiend, right?
22:21Uh...
22:21Oh, no, it was his daughter.
22:22No, no, no, he wasn't diddling Anna.
22:24Diddle with Anna's hat, didn't he?
22:25He analyzed her, and it was...
22:28Some feel inappropriate.
22:29Tell it to the cocaine, right?
22:49Hello?
22:51Hello?
22:54Hello?
23:03What?
23:05Oh, my God.
23:09Oh, my God.
23:15Fuck.
23:25Hello?
23:27Hey, are you like Gary Jr.?
23:29You said you were going to give that cue back.
23:33I mean, I guess I'm not the only klepto, you little bitch.
23:36That was legendary.
23:39Hello?
23:44Coward.
23:53Now, now, Joanne, I'm writing.
23:57Orson?
23:58Hello, yeah, come in. Orson, come in.
24:01Hey.
24:01Oh.
24:03Hey.
24:05You okay?
24:06Should I get your mom?
24:07Oh, can you teach me how to use the washing machine, please?
24:10Yeah, sure, no problem.
24:12Oh, now?
24:14Uh.
24:15I know I messed up with the stool sample, but, um, the antibiotics are just, they're not working and they're
24:21making it worse for me.
24:22I really just, I can't be like this right now.
24:25Okay, okay, okay. Um, it is, it's okay. It's okay. This is total, this is natural. Um, you know, I
24:34know this nutritionist. I'm on a task force with her. People swear by this woman. I could call her. Yeah?
24:42Great. Come on.
24:45Well, good news. Secfa felt bad about missing the barbecue. Tom put the screws to her.
24:50Well, I just pointed out she wasn't helping the vets any by not showing.
24:53Mm-hmm.
24:54So, uh, Secfa approved the transfer of a dozen engineers who know the mump system and...
24:58You know what? Sorry, what, what system?
25:01Mump system. It stands for, um, mobile...
25:05Nobody fucking knows anymore. It's been around longer than me.
25:08And how long have you been at the VA?
25:09No, no, no. Me, Tom. It's pre-moon landing.
25:13They've put patches on top of patches over the decades. But, you know, that's, that's what we're trying to do
25:18here is cure ourselves of the mumps.
25:21This is, this is good news. Oh.
25:23This is progress. Yeah.
25:25The mumps.
25:25Progress. And how old are these engineers?
25:28Well, we'd be pulling them out of retirement, so, I mean, they're a little older.
25:31Guys. Guys. Read the room. 30-year-olds retire here. Okay, this is not a nursing home.
25:37No walkers in my war room.
25:39Okay. Okay, but this is the job that we are paying you to do.
25:42No, you're not paying me. It's a fast-tracked model.
25:45No, or is she taking an old man dump on me? I can't even sell the data product.
25:49Data product? What data product are you planning on selling?
25:54Oh, you thought your welfare checks made this project worth my time?
25:58The only play is to sell the vets' data. Big pharma. Insurers.
26:03So you see people in need, and you go to how to sell their medical files?
26:10Yes. It's called capitalism. The government ought to try it.
26:13Okay, if we have guardrails, data sales, you know, might work.
26:18No. No. This deal's dead.
26:24You, Duncan Park, you are the fucking problem.
26:34Sorry.
26:35Bardo's smart. He's going to want to steer the ship, but hard no.
26:38Okay?
26:39I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He has a quick trigger.
26:42I think this is worth salvaging, Duncan.
26:45Maybe I talk to Tom about meeting somewhere in the...
26:48Don't bother.
26:49Don't bother.
26:54Okay. The engagement talks with the ironclad.
26:57From a synergy POV, do you want a wall around his people?
26:59Yes.
27:16Hey.
27:17Hey!
27:18Hi!
27:18Do we really need to take a helicopter?
27:21Pippa Tang wants to meet you.
27:30Good news!
27:32Pippa's rescheduling tomorrow.
27:34Great. Let's go home.
27:36What?
27:36I miss a night in Napa.
27:38What?
27:39Look, Lily, my daughter.
27:40She's what?
27:41Fifteen?
27:42She'll be fine.
27:43Does she know how to work a microwave?
27:45Don't fret.
27:48Pip will pony up, but she likes to make us beg for it.
27:51What does she get in return?
27:52Her name on the stadium.
27:54And she'll express her priorities for the school and...
27:57But what if I can't agree to them?
27:59For $40 million?
28:01Just lie back and shine brightly.
28:05You don't have to light, Pipa Tang.
28:07I don't happen to.
28:10Just think what we can do with $40 million.
28:13I'm gonna book us a spa.
28:16All these tests they put you through, poking and prodding, just makes you feel like a freak
28:21for having a natural human body.
28:23I mean, hello.
28:24We're all just factories for shit.
28:27And blood.
28:28And pus.
28:30And milk, sometimes.
28:31I mean, it's what we do.
28:33We ooze.
28:35We secrete.
28:36And they'll never take that away from us.
28:40He's all set.
28:43I've got a custom tincture just for you.
28:46It is my proprietary blend.
28:48It will adapt itself to shake up your whole microflora economy.
28:52Hmm.
28:53Interesting.
28:53What, uh, what's in there?
28:55Well, it's proprietary.
28:57Hmm.
28:57But mostly Chinese herbs, holistic reductions, compounds to reduce inflammation.
29:01So that's gonna fix my shit factory?
29:03You bet.
29:04Here you go.
29:0520 drops to start.
29:07And then three drops.
29:08Three times a day.
29:09Okay.
29:09Three and three.
29:10Great, great.
29:10What's the damage?
29:11The damage and everything.
29:12The damage.
29:14Oh, yes, sorry.
29:15Uh, well, of course, I will apply the medical colleague's discount.
29:18Thank you so much.
29:19It's great.
29:19And the consultation fee.
29:21It's included with the proprietary prescriptions.
29:23Uh-huh.
29:24The total, then, it is $1,962.
29:27Oh, I didn't realize.
29:28We can just maybe don't take, yeah.
29:29Uh, I...
29:30It's activated.
29:32Right, it all right.
29:33And how much of this will insurance cover?
29:35Oh, of course, insurance companies, they only cover phallocentric, western normative treatments.
29:41Okay.
29:43Um...
29:44Okay, credit cards?
29:45Let me grab the machine.
29:46Great.
29:48Um...
29:49We're not going to tell your mom about this, huh?
29:53Lily, this is...
29:55It's all too much.
29:57Too much?
29:59That's my not enough.
30:02No.
30:03You know, I don't come from great wealth, either.
30:05But I practiced radical acceptance, and now being rich is second nature.
30:11You know, it's possible to adjust to any identity, really.
30:14Wouldn't you agree?
30:15I'm just rolling with whatever comes.
30:18Yeah.
30:19I like that.
30:20Like in Aspen, right?
30:22The education thingy?
30:24I was so excited to find the perfect leader for Los Altos.
30:28Walked up, made you the offer right on the spot.
30:33When did you realize I meant to make the offer to Pamela Douglas?
30:37Do you mean...
30:41When did I realize...
30:42You mixed up the only two black women at the summit?
30:45If I did.
30:4630 seconds.
30:48You knowingly infiltrated or suborned a wool-pulling antic.
30:53And you can't tell black women apart.
30:56I had been drinking, and I think with the altitude and...
31:00You offered it to me.
31:03I signed my own name on the contract.
31:05I never won slide.
31:07We're being honest?
31:08My daughter is brilliant.
31:10Really brilliant.
31:12And deserves to go to Stanford.
31:14Los Altos is the best theater school, so...
31:18Good for you.
31:21Still, this is not a great look for either of us.
31:24I'm not arguing that.
31:25But I do need to know if someone asks...
31:30I'm not going to lie.
31:31You stood there in my backyard as I introduced a Harvard graduate.
31:35You said nothing.
31:36I'm not going to lie.
31:37Just keep seeing nothing.
31:39Or this all falls apart for you.
31:42For Harmony.
31:43There's nothing I can do to help.
31:47I'm going to take it to our graves.
31:50Fine.
31:52You first.
32:00Here's the phone number.
32:03Name?
32:05Jameson Esme Park.
32:07Your daughter?
32:08Yeah.
32:10She'll never forgive you.
32:11She's not going to find out.
32:12Why can't you just...
32:14Why can't I get one of those Pakistani CTOs with that H1N1 visa?
32:18Because, like, when they won, I could send them back to Bangor.
32:20Bangalore, India.
32:21And H1N1 is the bird flu.
32:29Looks like she used to torrent Sailor Moon.
32:31No, I...
32:31I don't want to know about sex stuff.
32:33Okay, just tell me...
32:34Tell me if she's stealing.
32:36Pirating is stealing.
32:38Oh, yeah, it is.
32:41Oh, Jim, Jim.
32:43Hey, get it down!
32:44I'm sorry.
32:45Carl Vardoff is early.
32:47Vardoff!
32:48Oh, this is where you keep all the good stuff?
32:50Yeah, I wasn't expecting you till, um...
32:53Well, I could pretend that I messed up the time,
32:55but I did, in fact, want to catch you with your pants down.
32:59Sorry to disappoint you.
33:00But, yeah, please sit.
33:02Say, make yourself comfortable.
33:04We had a whole thing prepared.
33:07Here's the chickadee.
33:08Oh, uh, Harper.
33:09Why don't we show Mr. Vardoff the power of Noadin?
33:14We triangulated this guy's metadata from multiple data lakes.
33:20Sending him a coffee coupon.
33:23Now...
33:2772% chance.
33:32Please tell me there's something besides this.
33:34Well, 72% means there's a...
33:36There's a 100% chance that this does not work for me.
33:38This is just baseline tech.
33:39There's... there's... there's more.
33:42There's so much more.
33:44Stuff that no one else has.
33:46Prepare to have your mind blown.
33:47You have two minutes.
33:48Stan stays as long as you can vouch for his secrecy.
33:51I cut his tongue out.
33:52Get on with it, please.
33:54You two are about to be the third and fourth people on Earth
33:56to see what we can do here.
33:58Orlando Lee.
33:59CEO of SMOTE.
34:00You've heard of him.
34:01Of course you have.
34:02After running billions of Monte Carlo simulations
34:05predicted by our god, Tier Algo, we called Noadin.
34:08What was it, Harper?
34:09The percentage of certainty?
34:1332.
34:14Nope.
34:14Of certainty.
34:15Wasn't it 89?
34:16Yes.
34:17It was 89.
34:18Yeah, I'm certain this is a giant waste of my time.
34:20Stan?
34:21Oh yeah, he doesn't have a tongue.
34:22I will speak for him.
34:23What the fuck are you doing?
34:2689% certainty Lee is pushed out of SMOTE in the next 48 hours.
34:30Come on, how did you get that?
34:31We are perched on the shoulders of everyone in his sphere, all seeing.
34:35We know which execs just got a prescription to benzos.
34:38Who'd cancel their trips to Bureau of Ritz?
34:40Who's buying tampons?
34:41Their spouse's data stream?
34:43Their kid's test scores?
34:44The doorman's bank account?
34:46Okay, so you grab a bunch of loose facts and you slap on the narrative and this is what
34:51you call information?
34:52Information with insight.
34:55Like if you fused a quant with a psychiatrist.
34:59Because if I'm right, Lee is fired.
35:02Leading to a 94% chance that the stock rises.
35:05But only briefly because who wants to be the sacrificial suit?
35:08So, power vacuum.
35:10Stock falls.
35:11And what do we got on that, Hartford?
35:13Uh, 79%?
35:14Uh, not quite.
35:1577.9.
35:16Uh, let's just call it 78.
35:1878%.
35:18You know, code monkeys, you know?
35:20Then, note in psycho-economics.
35:22Psycho-economics.
35:23Yes.
35:23Psycho-economics.
35:24It tells us toxic loyalty will lead to an 84% chance that he's rehired, leading to a 97%
35:31chance.
35:31That stock skyrockets from that news.
35:34You ride that whole wave, Carl, with shorts and buys, and you get to take, like, four
35:41bites out of that apple.
35:42Your algorithm says all that?
35:44I bought 150,000 shares of smoke last night.
35:50Okay, we'll be in touch.
35:52Thank you for the tarot reading.
35:53You're leaving?
35:54Uh, yeah.
35:57Probably should have mentioned that Carl was Rolando's mentor.
36:01But then you probably already know that.
36:04You are the fucking data guy, right?
36:10I thought that guy couldn't talk.
36:12If any of that had any validity...
36:15Trust me, it does.
36:16I swear.
36:17If he goes and warns Orlando, he's gonna rewrite the future.
36:20And then...
36:21Someone's fucking their own mother.
36:23And I think it's me.
36:27That was divine.
36:30Do we get dessert?
36:32Chocolate ketchup?
36:34Uh, yes.
36:35No, I can't.
36:37I'm sorry.
36:38No.
36:39When I was Jamie's age, I used to eat a whole box of penne with Alfredo sauce so thick you
36:45could spackle a wall.
36:47Sometimes I didn't even hurl.
36:48Do not tell Jamie that.
36:49But she already thinks I've got food issues.
36:54I don't always relate to my own daughter.
36:56Is that awful to say?
36:58No.
36:59She's a teenager.
37:00Yeah.
37:02Duncan says she's stealing from us.
37:05Oh.
37:06Yeah.
37:07Like she puts...
37:07Hey, thank you.
37:09Thanks.
37:10Yeah, she like puts her little trophies in the school trophy case.
37:15Is she the one who smashed it?
37:16No, no, no, no.
37:17No, that was Duncan.
37:18And he's paying for the repairs with interest.
37:21Is he...
37:23Violent at home?
37:24No.
37:25I wish.
37:27Tell me about Perfect Harmony's daddy.
37:29Where's he?
37:30He was just a friend of ours.
37:32Yeah, he agreed to, you know, cough up.
37:35It was my egg Darcy carried.
37:37Oh.
37:38I didn't have you down as a lady's lady.
37:41So Donde esta Mrs. Darcy.
37:44L.A.
37:45Actress.
37:46Yeah.
37:47She ran off with another Darcy.
37:50That was almost worse than the betrayal.
37:52Oh, lady.
37:54I've been there.
37:55Hmm?
37:56Keep thinking I'm over it and then...
37:58Oh, you probably met her at the luncheon.
38:01Anushka Adichera.
38:03She's awful.
38:05I made such a great hire.
38:08Come on.
38:09Grab the bottle.
38:10Come on.
38:17Did you see my pottery work?
38:19The giant bong?
38:21Yeah.
38:22May, uh...
38:23You didn't do a bong test.
38:24You made a bowl.
38:26Lilac glaze.
38:27Very tasteful, too.
38:28Remember, Martin?
38:29Yes.
38:31Uh, lilac.
38:33Very nice.
38:34Dad, eyes on me.
38:36What was my history project on?
38:38Yeah, one second.
38:39Estimating how many people could fit in the Roman Coliseum.
38:42He asked him.
38:46It's a wonder you saw any of that, given how you were with Duncan Park for a while.
38:54What were you two up to?
38:56I'm on his board.
38:59I'm on his board.
39:01The company isn't doing great.
39:04Neither is he.
39:06It's trying to stop a public meltdown in the midst of 500 of the Valley's most influential parents.
39:14Are you insinuating something?
39:18No.
39:20That explains it.
39:33That explains it.
39:48You're a part of the world.
40:00Did you track me, you piece of shit?
40:02You cannot do this.
40:03You cannot.
40:03Do what?
40:05You don't want Orlando over there.
40:07You're a protege.
40:08Oh, did your all-knowing algo predict what I'm going to do?
40:11Huh?
40:11Did it.
40:12Did it.
40:15That's free will.
40:16You have no idea what this is about to do.
40:19I live in the air of margin, pal.
40:21You didn't say anything to him yet.
40:23Yeah, I said, howdy, and where's the keg?
40:26If you tell him what I told you, we will never know if I was right or not.
40:34It's Schroeder's cat.
40:36Is Schroeder ignorant to me dunce?
40:39Don't call me dunce.
40:41Then don't be a dunce.
40:42If you really thought I was one, you wouldn't be here.
40:45Actually being here, it proves to me that you believe in my algo.
40:50Maybe, maybe, Jesus.
40:53Maybe it scares you.
40:55My hot potato's too hot in your soft, tattletale hands.
40:59You know this how you used to do business?
41:02This is why you vanished from the scene, Carl?
41:04Huh?
41:05I show you tech that will revolutionize how we predict behavior, and you run to the playground
41:10to tell your boyfriend?
41:13You're so ugly!
41:16I have jumped through every hoop you put in front of me because I'm a fighter.
41:21You don't think I'm a fighter?
41:23I got a different point.
41:25You've made your point.
41:25Oh, good.
41:26I thank you for hearing me.
41:30I love this guy.
41:31This dude used to drop dudes twice his size and half his age.
41:35Who's this dude?
41:36Orlando Lee, I'd like you to meet someone.
41:39This is Duncan Park.
41:40He's a fighter.
41:42Hey, all right.
41:44You want to do it?
41:45No, no, no.
41:46He wasn't.
41:47He didn't be hit that way.
41:48So, not a fighter.
41:51So your manhood is a metaphor?
41:56We got our next fight.
41:58Woo!
41:58Yeah!
42:00Oh, my God!
42:01Oh, my God!
42:03Oh, my God!
42:03Oh, my God!
42:15These guys, I can get a weapon!
42:18Yeah, okay.
42:19Okay.
42:23Oh, wait!
42:30Oh, wait!
42:39Oh!
42:40Oh!
42:40I'm throwing shit out the stage!
42:44Oh, oh, oh!
42:46Control-off escape!
42:47Control-off escape!
42:49That's not the same for work, huh?
43:01This is why we do it
43:42I wanted to show you something
43:49When is that, the surface of the moon?
43:51It's my home in Napa
43:54It burned down
43:57Oh my god
43:58Oh, you know who our neighbor was
44:00And whose house is fine?
44:03Pippa fucking Tan
44:05Our donor?
44:07So when the fires were raging
44:09Pippa bribed our private firefighters
44:12Double to protect her house instead
44:15Wow
44:16You know the only thing that's left?
44:21Is that a bench?
44:22A marble bench
44:25In our former garden
44:27Duncan asked me to marry him there
44:31He doesn't even care
44:35I'm so sorry
44:37No, I'm so sorry
44:39I married a terrible actress
44:42From a hemorrhoid commercial
44:44Who is also a whore
44:47Give me her number
44:52Her number?
44:54Yeah, so Dunkey gave me this app
44:56It hides your number and your voice
44:59It makes you sound like that Darth Vader guy
45:05Okay
45:07Her name is Darcy
45:09Darcy?
45:09Yeah
45:10You're a little slut
45:12And so is Darcy
45:14Darcy
45:14Other Darcy
45:15You hemorrhoid
45:17Dumb dumb
45:18Stupid girl dummy
45:20Oh my god
45:23Oh my god
45:26Oh my god
45:26I hurt myself
45:30I urinated
45:39Crisscross
45:51Hello
45:52We know what you did
45:56The betrayal
45:58What would Cupertino think of you and Duncan
46:01If they knew
46:09Oh my god
46:13Are you feeling overwhelmed?
46:15Try to remember your life has value
46:17Inosuka
46:20Shut up
46:21Just close your stupid cup
46:23When you carry shame around
46:25You make people around you unhappy
46:27You seem riddled with anxiety and guilt
46:30Inosuka
46:31Try breathing
46:32And counting backwards from ten
46:34Ten
46:35Nine
46:51Hello nana
46:54Sorry for Slade
46:55I'm calling to set the record straight on hypnosis
46:59Deep background
47:00You can say
47:02A source close to Cupertino
47:09The acquisition talks failed
47:31Then Alvin turns to me
47:33He says
47:33Gary
47:34What the hell happened to our neighborhood
47:36Since when did giving a damn
47:37About your neighbors
47:38Become a four letter word
47:39They don't make them like that
47:40No
47:41We don't
47:41Hi
47:42Oh my god
47:43Beth
47:43Hi
47:43I didn't know you were coming by
47:45I would have
47:46I
47:48I am so
47:49So sorry
47:51About your dad
47:52I'm so sorry
47:53To barge in like this
47:55No
47:55Please
47:57This is Irvin
48:00Hi
48:00Great to meet you
48:01You too
48:03Beth
48:03Beth just told me how much your dad
48:05Adored you both
48:06And he was always
48:08Speaking of you
48:09So
48:10Warmly
48:11I know he really admired
48:13How you two both
48:14Do good work
48:16And you
48:16You don't expect to make
48:18As much as everyone else here does
48:20I always wished
48:21I could be more like him
48:23But I just
48:24Look
48:25I hate to say it
48:25I always tell her
48:26It's okay to care about money
48:29And do you are the
48:30The brother
48:32Or the husband
48:33Irvin's handling the sale
48:36We're gonna list at eight
48:38Probably would sell closer to
48:40Eight point four
48:41But we want you to propose
48:42If
48:42You could pay all cash
48:44We give you to a listing
48:48Wow
48:51Thank you
48:57We'll get Pippa at the winter gala
48:58It'll be fine
48:59But you can't tell the board
49:02What am I supposed to say?
49:04Tell them food poisoning
49:06The chopper crashed
49:07So another lie
49:08I think you'll manage
49:09Beatrice
49:10I feel pretty sure of it
49:12Child
49:15From the student who knows
49:18That to have one of those
49:20Would be a suicide
49:22And everybody sings
49:26Yeah
49:32Alright
49:32We're going with where the air is free
49:45On the National Express
49:48There's a jolly hostess
49:50There's a jolly hostess
49:50Selling Christmas and tea
49:55But it's hard to get by
49:58When your arse is the size
50:00Of a small country
50:03And everybody sings
50:22What do you think about one seat for me and one for my number two here?
50:29You'd let him call you that
50:33What's that on your forehead, buddy?
50:35Forget money
50:36Where do you want to be?
50:39Societal collapses upon us
50:40And sooner than you think
50:41I miss you, man
50:43If you don't have the bone mass
50:44What the hell are you watching?
50:46You did this?
50:47You stabbed me in the back?
50:50Of my heart?
50:56In episode 104
50:57You will see the Tech Bro Fight Club
51:00Which is, in fact, a real thing
51:03This is Duncan Park
51:05He's a fighter
51:06He didn't be in that way
51:07So your manhood is a metaphor?
51:10We got our next fight
51:11It's Tech Bros wanting to feel the realness
51:13Of physical combat
51:17And all the things that are
51:19Just metaphorical during their day
51:21Time activity
51:22Where they are being told to fight
51:24To have that kind of warlike
51:25Sun Tzu aggression
51:27In their business life
51:28I think there's just a lot of like
51:30Especially nowadays
51:31What is it to be a man?
51:33And I guess that answers their question
51:35For them sometimes
51:37Oh!
51:39Oh!
51:39Oh!
51:39Oh!
51:40Oh!
51:40Oh!
51:40Oh!
51:41Oh!
51:42I don't
51:42No, no background
51:44No background
51:44Well, here they're going to do it
51:45In a back warehouse
51:47To get their yaya's out
51:48And to feel what that masculine warrior energy is
51:54Just been kicked in the balls
51:55Three, two, action!
51:57No!
52:00I couldn't resist not having that be part of the fabric of our Silicon Valley
52:04I show you Tech
52:05That will revolutionize how we predict behavior
52:08And you run to the playground to tell your boyfriend?
52:11The thing that Duncan can say legitimately to Bardolph is
52:15I've jumped through every hoop you've put in front of me
52:18And he puts another one in front of him
52:20Yeah!
52:21He succeeds in a way that's emotionally very real
52:24Me strangling Orlando Lee at the end
52:27With his eyes fixed on Bardolph
52:29It is a way of saying
52:30I am a fucking warrior
52:32And not to be taken lightly
52:34He's still controlling the Lee, asshole
52:36Let him go!
52:37I think that's what Bardolph sees in me
52:39Does not give up
52:40Now they're ready to
52:41Go to the next phase of their relationship
52:45When did you realize I meant to make the offer to Pamela Douglas?
52:48When did I realize
52:49He mixed up the only two black women at the summit?
52:52If I did
52:5330 seconds
52:54In episode four
52:55There's more than just Fight Club
52:57There's also the fight between Lily and Beatrice
53:00It's almost like they have a summit meeting at the spa
53:02Where all of these truths come out
53:04Let me take it to our graves
53:07Fine
53:08You first
53:10It's a fun dance between the two of them
53:12Literally in mud
53:13And then it's almost like this
53:16We have a lot more in common
53:17Series of scenes that follow
53:20Almost a friendship is emerging between the two of them
53:22So Duncan gave me this app
53:24It hides your number and your voice
53:27Hello?
53:29We know what you did
53:30What would Cupertino think of you and Duncan if they knew?
53:35Oh my god!
53:38Are you feeling overwhelmed?
53:41Try to remember your life has value, Inesuka
53:44Shut up!
53:45Inesuka takes that Easter Island head
53:48Which symbolizes ancient beliefs
53:50And smashes this new technology
53:54That's this sort of collision point that I kind of adore
53:57That idea that the AI bot has provoked her to violence
54:00And when we get to episode five
54:02We'll see what the consequences of that violence are
54:05I'm calling to set the record straight on hypnosis
54:09The acquisition talks fail
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