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#Taskmaster S21E03 A Creepy Bit of Advice #video #trending #viral #dailymotionlove
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TVTranscript
00:03You
00:04Don't look away
00:17I might just do this all day
00:37I
00:38Five comedy show ponies put through their paces at the gymkhana of laughs the grand national of juggles
00:44The dressage of mirth who will get off to a good start on firm ground today
00:49Who will refuse at the first jump and who God forbid will have to be humanely destroyed?
00:55Find out now please welcome
00:58Amy glad hell
01:13He is surprising in so so many ways he loves to paint for example
01:18He's a keen bird watcher and he has a tattoo on his lower back that simply reads free Britney
01:28I
01:28Little Alex Hall
01:31I just think it's about time
01:33Go to the house
01:35How are you going to irritate me in the first two minutes of this show?
01:38I'm not going to irritate you I've got something that I'm going to show you that you're going to love
01:42Because I got my very first smartphone
01:47You want to see it?
01:48Yeah
01:49It's a smartphone
01:50It's a smart phone
01:52Look there's a little face
01:54Smart phone he's all dressed up smart
01:56Right
01:56I thought you'd like that
01:59I mean I think two things I'm irritated because that will be the end of the joke
02:02There'll be no
02:03Right?
02:03Or you think there should be more
02:04Is there a follow up?
02:05I knew you were going to say that
02:07Don't tell
02:07Make sure you think of a follow up to the really funny smartphone
02:10Yeah
02:12I sort of think there's something in that
02:14I think sort of moronic teenagers would buy that wouldn't they?
02:16I've got three so yeah maybe I'll ask them when we get home
02:19Put the face up again?
02:20It's my face
02:21Whee!
02:24Can we copyright that live on air?
02:27That's a thing isn't it?
02:29Copyright
02:30Copyright
02:31On with the prize task
02:32What have they brought in this time?
02:34Well Greg we've still got loads of good ideas for prize task categories
02:37But this week they've brought in the most fun thing to drag behind you on a piece of string when
02:41you go for a walk
02:43We all drag string behind us when we go for a walk but what's the most fun thing to be
02:47on that string?
02:49Well the owner of the thing judged to be most fun will be given five points by you Greg and
02:52also this is important
02:55No actually I'm done
02:57That was it
02:59You've been quite funny today
03:02Hello Kamal
03:03Greg I'm a 47 year old man Greg
03:05Yeah
03:06And to me nothing is more fun than going to bed at a reasonable hour
03:11So what I would love to drag behind me on a piece of string is an early to bed kit
03:17Let's look at it
03:18Okay
03:20It's a clock without an alarm set
03:23Melatonin
03:24Sleep mask
03:25And a diary
03:26With
03:28One plan
03:28That they cancelled on me on
03:32Oh I'm getting hard just thinking about it
03:35This is one sweet bit of kit
03:38You and I should hang out more often
03:41In one giant bed
03:42Yeah
03:44Biscuits
03:445pm dinner and then to bed
03:46Joel what's your fun thing to drag around on a bit of string?
03:49A parachute
03:52Attached to your hip
03:53Right?
03:54Here is a video of me dragging such a thing behind me
04:05You might have noticed the sort of eagle-eyed amongst you that there was some writing on that parachute
04:10Prepare yourself Greg you're going to absolutely love this here we go
04:12Shoot from the hip
04:14It's a play on words
04:15It's a play on words
04:15Don't like play on words
04:17I know you don't
04:18Don't like it
04:19I know you don't
04:20That was really
04:20Not clever puns aren't clever
04:24Not a fan of a masked singer I assume
04:27I have not missed an episode
04:31I don't mind the play on words
04:33I love you
04:34You having a parachute
04:35Because you're far too healthy and fit and bouncy and happy
04:39And I like the idea of you being slowed down occasionally
04:42Nice
04:43Amy you're next what have you brought in?
04:44Well I brought a projector on wheels
04:50All right
04:50Projecting a fun video
04:53And it is a fun video
04:56I shall be the judge of that
04:58This is what Amy brought in
05:11That's just constantly playing to charge the battery for 15 minutes and it will play that for an hour
05:17It's a
05:20Sort of a phenomena of some kind
05:24That it's only the long breast I can concentrate
05:28I thought
05:29What's fun?
05:32So you started with a blank canvas
05:34Blank sheet of paper
05:36What's in life
05:37What's fun?
05:38Circled it
05:39Yeah
05:40And then put a little circle in the middle of that circle
05:43And then wrote
05:44An even smaller one
05:46And then wrote fun bags
05:48Fun bags
05:49Fun bags
05:50Literally fun
05:51One of those bags isn't fun
05:54Joanna
05:55I have brought a hip flask in the shape of a fish full of sherry
06:01Yes
06:02Thank you
06:04At last
06:06Sensible voice
06:07Now my love of sherry started when I was about seven
06:15Shrapping
06:15I lost my appetite after chicken pox
06:18My nan who was a matron in a hospital
06:20Told my mum the best way to get my appetite back was to give me sherry
06:24It's funny how medical standards have changed over the years
06:27So my love of sherry started then
06:29It then continued when we got our first dog a spaniel
06:32Oh no
06:33Hang on
06:35You weren't eight when you got the dog were you?
06:38No I was about eight
06:39We're not going year by year
06:40We used to take our dog for a walk down Park Mill
06:45Which was this lovely place in the woods
06:47But there was a pub
06:48And then a big car park
06:50And then you'd walk out the back
06:51And there'd be the woods
06:52My dad would get the dog out
06:54And then they'd go into the pub
06:55Get me a glass of sherry
06:56And I'd have my glass of sherry
06:58And then we'd go for our walk
07:00And so that is why I think everything in life is better
07:03With a glass of sherry
07:05So if I'm going for a walk
07:06I would have a hip flask full of sherry
07:08Yeah
07:10Funny isn't it?
07:11Not only have I had time to write down Joanna one point
07:13I've...
07:16I've drawn two flowers either side
07:19Armando
07:20Right, fun
07:21I thought
07:22A person
07:23Who
07:24You'd be surprised to meet
07:26But then when you saw her
07:26You'd think
07:27Oh yeah that is fun
07:28Which is Lorraine Kelly
07:29And I thought
07:30I could drag her
07:31On an improvised trolley
07:33Okay
07:34Which is what I've done
07:35Yes?
07:35No!
07:38No!
07:38No!
07:44The winner of the episode
07:46Gets this cardboard cutout
07:48Of Lorraine Kelly
07:48On a trolley
07:49I don't know who that is
07:51How dare you?
07:53That's like me asking you
07:55Who Thomas Jefferson is
07:56Lorraine Kelly drew up our constitution
07:58200
08:00250
08:03And
08:04Every morning defends it
08:06On air
08:08I really liked all of those
08:09And it feels very mean to give Joanna one point
08:12But there we are
08:15One point to Joanna
08:16If you hadn't stuck the pun on it
08:17It'd have been right up there
08:18Two points to Joel
08:19Okay
08:20Honestly
08:20I think you'd be at the top of the pile
08:22If it wasn't for the long breast
08:23Oh!
08:25Three points
08:25Okay
08:26A man after my own heart
08:27Four points
08:28Um
08:29But how can I beat
08:30How can anyone beat Lorraine Kelly being dragged on a trolley?
08:33Of course
08:34Five points
08:38What's up first please, Alex?
08:40Well, we have an instruction heavy task that will give everyone a brand new earworm
08:47Hmm?
08:56You must now sing these words with me
09:00Hello!
09:00Hello!
09:01Are you okay?
09:02Have a seat
09:04Okay
09:07How are you?
09:08I'm good, are you comfortable?
09:10Yeah, you're loud
09:13Oh
09:14Hello
09:17Okay
09:18Before you open that
09:19Yeah
09:25Do you hear that
09:32Ahhhh
09:33Ahhhh
09:34AHHH
09:34Oh my goodness
09:36Oh!
09:40It would be better if the wind was going in a different direction.
09:44They're biodegradable, Joel.
09:45I'm glad you clarified that.
09:46Oh, my God, I wish I'd put those on first.
09:50I bet it's going to say,
09:51time started when the competitive animal goes off.
09:54I've seen this show.
09:57Nice to see you. Nice to see you.
09:58It's a lovely day for Tuscan.
10:01Put on the headphones, obey the instructions and build the tower.
10:05When you think you have built the correct tower,
10:08you must clap three times.
10:10Fastest correct tower wins.
10:13Your time started when you first blinked.
10:16Yeah, you did blink when the confetti went off.
10:18Oh, well, because you... Yeah.
10:20But... Yeah. I've seen it. I've seen this show.
10:25By Joan Adults, who react to a confetti cannon going off
10:29in the way that normal people would react to being attacked by a tiger,
10:33have to build a tower.
10:35Yes, they do.
10:36Shall we, then?
10:36We shall.
10:37And first up, it's the Edinburgh Comedy Award-winning stand-up,
10:41Amy Gledhill, and also Joel Dominick.
10:43LAUGHTER
10:47At the bottom of the tower, there is a red brick.
10:51At the top of the tower, there is a blue brick.
10:54On top of the bottom red brick, there is a yellow brick.
10:57You must hold up two green bricks within the next two seconds,
11:01otherwise Alex will dismantle your tower.
11:03Lovely.
11:04You must now sing blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
11:08Your turn.
11:09Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
11:12Now, wink at the camera.
11:15Above the lowest yellow brick, there is a yellow brick.
11:18Above that yellow brick, there are two more bricks.
11:21Then a yellow brick.
11:22You must hold up a blue brick in your left hand
11:25and a red in your right hand in the next two seconds,
11:28otherwise Alex will dismantle your tower.
11:30Very nice. You've got some confetti in your hair.
11:32OK.
11:33You must now sing these words.
11:35Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
11:37Blue, red.
11:38Yellow, red, red.
11:40Oh.
11:41You can do better than that.
11:42Close.
11:42From the bottom, it goes red, something, something, red,
11:46something, something, green, something, something, blue.
11:49The bottom brick should be red.
11:51Yes.
11:51Now, wink at the camera.
11:54Wink at the camera.
11:56Now, wink at the camera.
11:58Now, wink at the camera.
11:59Now, wink at the camera.
12:01Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
12:04That bit's right.
12:04The bottom brick is red.
12:06Yes, I know that.
12:07Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
12:09Is that a clue?
12:10Now, wave to the camera holding a red brick in your right hand
12:13and a blue brick in your left hand.
12:15Otherwise, Alex will dismantle your tower.
12:18What was that?
12:18Oh, fuck!
12:19I forgot where round it was.
12:22No, please don't do it!
12:23You didn't wave to the camera, Charles.
12:26You didn't wave to the camera.
12:27You didn't wave to the camera.
12:28Let's start again.
12:28Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
12:31Yellow.
12:32Yes.
12:32Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
12:34Yeah.
12:36Now, wave to the camera holding a red brick and a blue brick
12:39within the next two seconds.
12:40Ah!
12:41Otherwise, Alex will dismantle your tower.
12:42Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
12:43I didn't know what it said!
12:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
12:46I have to dismantle your tower.
12:49Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
12:52Yellow, red, yellow, yellow, blue.
12:57Oh, fuck the clock!
13:00You may remove your headphones.
13:01Is it right?
13:02Looks right to me.
13:05Fuck!
13:06You're annoying!
13:16Amy, I've got a question for you.
13:18Have you ever winked before?
13:24I can't do that opening my mouth and sort of doing this horrible thing around.
13:28Can we have a look at Amy's wink?
13:30Oh, no.
13:31OK, here's her wink.
13:34LAUGHTER
13:36Were you annoyed at any point?
13:39Um, yeah, I was.
13:40You were very sad when you grabbed them like a child.
13:43When you grabbed the tower.
13:44Well, I've never hugged a brick before.
13:46You've never...
13:46You said you've never held a brick before.
13:48That was the first time that I felt like I'd done manual labour.
13:53LAUGHTER
13:55The times are not that bad.
13:56Joel, 11 minutes 44, and Amy, 9 minutes 53.
13:59In the lead at the moment.
14:00Well done, Amy.
14:01Very good.
14:01Oh, not bad.
14:04Shut up!
14:05It's the end of part one.
14:06You think of what you're talking?
14:07Shut up!
14:17APPLAUSE
14:20Welcome back to Taskmaster, where Alex is tormenting our cast with his horrible whiny voice.
14:25LAUGHTER
14:27Red, green, yellow, green, yellow.
14:29Oh!
14:30Yes, they just have to follow my simple instructions to stack the coloured bricks in the correct order.
14:34When happy with their order, they need to clap three times to end the task.
14:38I can't stress enough how important that bit is.
14:41And so comes the turn of two guys with very manly names.
14:44It's Armando and Kumail Hunky.
14:47LAUGHTER
14:50That...
14:51There.
14:51At the bottom of the tower, there is a red brick.
14:55At the top of the tower, there is a blue brick.
14:58Blue is the top.
14:59You must now sing these words with me.
15:02Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
15:05Your turn.
15:05Your turn.
15:06Blue, green, yellow, yellow, green, yellow.
15:09The bottom brick is red, remember?
15:12Yes.
15:12And the top one is blue.
15:14OK.
15:14Now, wink at the camera.
15:16Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
15:19This is like Guantanamo Bay.
15:22From the bottom, it goes red, something, something, red, something, something, green, something, something, blue.
15:29Oh, my God!
15:31Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
15:42Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
15:44Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
15:46Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
15:47When you think you have built the correct tower, you must clap three times.
15:53Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
15:56The even bricks are yellow, red, yellow, yellow, blue.
16:00Yellow, red, yellow, yellow, blue.
16:05When you think you have built the correct tower,
16:08you must clap three times.
16:10Blue, red, yellow, yellow, fucking red.
16:13Have you nearly finished? Pardon?
16:19Have you nearly finished? I don't know!
16:23Thanks, Kimmel. How's it going?
16:25I mean, I'm miserable.
16:27You must clap three times.
16:30Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
16:33Your turn.
16:34Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
16:37Now, wink at the camera.
16:38Oh, stop the clock.
16:39Oh, my God!
16:41I forgot you could clap!
16:45Now, stop the clock, Commander.
16:47I forgot I could stop it at any time.
16:49I thought I had to listen to all of this.
16:51Yeah, I enjoyed that.
16:52I'm glad you enjoyed it.
16:55You finished it half your time ago.
16:57So, I did this for twice as long as I needed to?
17:01Exactly that, yeah.
17:07I mean, absolutely textbook, apart from forgetting the three claps.
17:12Your wink was incredible.
17:14Oh, my God!
17:15Wow, wink!
17:16Nice!
17:16One of the loveliest winks I've ever seen.
17:17Yeah.
17:18Well, when I was very young, my dad told me you should be able to wink
17:21so that only the person you're winking at knows you're winking.
17:25Wow.
17:25Which is why...
17:26What a creepy bit of advice.
17:29LAUGHTER
17:29LAUGHTER
17:31No.
17:33Yes.
17:34Do you have a good time during that?
17:35Uh, one part of my brain, I was enjoying myself.
17:38And another part, I was thinking, why?
17:41Yeah.
17:42Oh, I mean, just reordering coloured bricks, you started weirdly coughing.
17:46I know, really.
17:46Yeah.
17:47I don't know why I was coughing.
17:48I thought, maybe it's because I saw that thing about how it helped
17:51someone and who wants to be a millionaire.
17:52Yeah.
17:54LAUGHTER
17:55If I just went, argh!
17:57It was sort of...
18:00Don't do this the wrong way.
18:01It sort of felt like we were watching someone playing a game
18:04in an old people's home.
18:05Yeah.
18:06Yeah.
18:07I think I have taken it the wrong way.
18:13Only sometimes.
18:14Yeah.
18:14Well, I mean, obviously, Kamal would have been the fastest so far
18:17by quite a long way.
18:18Really?
18:19Had he clapped when he was told to clap.
18:20Aww.
18:21But 12 minutes 06.
18:23Literally couldn't be closer to Armando's, cos he was 12 minutes 30.
18:26Oh!
18:27Couldn't be closer.
18:28Who's next?
18:28Finally, it's time to see Joanna Page stacking it.
18:33I'm on.
18:36OK, that's for the top.
18:39Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
18:43What the hell is that?
18:44It's green.
18:46Then a yellow brick.
18:48Then another brick.
18:49The top is blue.
18:51So that must be green.
18:52This is...
18:53It's not right.
18:54It's not right.
18:55Is there anything else that's going to show me?
18:59There.
19:01That's where it is.
19:03Right.
19:04Right.
19:06OK.
19:07Right.
19:08I've stopped the clock.
19:10I mean, I genuinely probably would have kept going all day.
19:13Yeah.
19:14I think so.
19:14You were nowhere near getting it right.
19:16LAUGHTER
19:25Well done.
19:27Well, I didn't trust you.
19:28I knew something was up.
19:29And also, I just couldn't follow the song.
19:31She was getting nowhere near.
19:32Yeah.
19:33It took her 8 minutes 50.
19:35Oh.
19:35Oh.
19:36If we went by who did the tower first, I would have had the shortest time.
19:40Hugh GF.
19:41You did it the best and the second one.
19:42It's life though, isn't it?
19:43If I hadn't consistently eaten pies my whole life, I'd be able to run.
19:48LAUGHTER
19:51Oh, unfortunately, Amanda, you're last with one point.
19:54Kamel, you get two points because you were so slow in the end.
19:57Don't.
19:59Joel was third, three points, four points to Amy,
20:01but Joanna Page gets the full five points.
20:03Yay!
20:06Feels like it's scoreboard time, is it?
20:08It is.
20:09And it's so close at this stage.
20:11Armando, Joanna and Kamel in joint second on six points.
20:14Amy's in the lead with seven points.
20:16Yay!
20:17APPLAUSE
20:18And Joel.
20:20Give me more task.
20:22Yes, and just like our relationship,
20:24this task involves an equal amount of hugging and grunting.
20:27Mmm.
20:38MUSIC PLAYS
20:39Oh, look, right, here's the donkey.
20:42Oh, my God, he's got plasters on his bum.
20:44Hello, Joel.
20:46Hello, Amy.
20:47Hey.
20:47Hello, Kamel.
20:48Please don't touch that or look underneath it.
20:49Sorry.
20:50Shall we...
20:51Yes.
20:52Let's have a look.
20:54Paint the best painting of the painting while hugging.
20:58Right.
20:58Oh, that must be the painting.
20:59One person must always look at the original painting
21:03and hug the other two people with both arms.
21:08The other two people must always look at the new painting.
21:12The hugger may only grunt.
21:15Did you write this?
21:17The painter may ask questions for one minute.
21:20Then for the rest of the task, they may only say colours, shapes or directions.
21:26Colours.
21:28Ten minutes.
21:29Your time starts on the whistle.
21:32I can't draw for toffee.
21:34I don't mind.
21:35Do you want to have a go?
21:36OK, I'll paint, yeah.
21:37OK.
21:37I kind of want to paint.
21:38You want to paint?
21:39You want to paint?
21:39All right.
21:40I might actually put my hands under there.
21:43Yeah.
21:43I'm going to get a paint brush in each hand.
21:46OK.
21:47OK.
21:48Are you looking at the painting?
21:49Oh!
21:54I had no idea, on top of all your many talents,
21:58that you could do impressions.
22:00Who's that?
22:01Oh, well, you don't know your own impression.
22:04Let's see it again.
22:06Oh!
22:07Painting, I am.
22:11Let's see them do some painting.
22:13Yes, here they all are.
22:14Painting and grunting, and holding each other tightly.
22:19Is it a human?
22:20Uh-huh.
22:21It's a human.
22:22Is it the Prime Minister?
22:24Uh-uh.
22:25Is it an animal?
22:26Uh-huh.
22:27Yes, it's an animal.
22:28Is it a horse?
22:29Is it a donkey?
22:31Uh-huh.
22:31Is it a donkey?
22:32Uh-huh.
22:32No, a horse.
22:34Is it a man?
22:35Uh-huh.
22:35Is it just his head, or is it all in his body?
22:38Uh-huh.
22:39Uh-huh.
22:40It's a...
22:40It's on a horse.
22:42He's on a horse.
22:43Is that grunting?
22:44Yeah, yeah.
22:45He's on a horse.
22:46Uh-huh.
22:47Is it a horse with a jockey?
22:48Is it Putin?
22:50Uh-uh.
22:50OK.
22:55Is the horse brown?
22:57I'm going to start on a brown horse.
22:58Is there anything?
22:59No.
23:01Colors, shapes and directions, please.
23:03Is it blue?
23:04Is it red?
23:05Is it red?
23:05Is it yellow?
23:06Is it yellow?
23:07Orange?
23:08Oh-oh.
23:09Skin color, white?
23:11Oh.
23:11Skin color?
23:12Is that his shape?
23:15Colors, shapes and directions, Joanna.
23:17Colors, shapes and directions, Joanna.
23:18Running!
23:18No.
23:19Uh-uh.
23:22Any squares?
23:23Uh-uh.
23:24Square!
23:24Uh-uh.
23:25Any circles?
23:26Circa!
23:27Any triangles?
23:28Triangle!
23:29Diamonds!
23:29Uh-uh.
23:31Uh-uh.
23:31Uh-uh.
23:34What other shapes are there?
23:35Rhombus!
23:36Uh-uh!
23:37Bird!
23:38Sneak out!
23:39In the sky!
23:40Green?
23:41Uh-uh.
23:42I've done quite a lot of green.
23:44Get brown down.
23:46Round.
23:47Get brown down.
23:49Oh!
23:51Oh!
23:52Oh!
23:53Oh!
23:55Oh!
23:56Oh!
23:58Please stop painting.
23:59Do not look back.
24:02Kamau, you can look at what they did.
24:06Honestly, I...
24:07It's not bad.
24:09Ah!
24:17You did some interesting grunting, Amanda.
24:19I've never heard anyone grunt, he's on a horse.
24:22Yeah.
24:23There was a bit of flexibility on the rules.
24:25They also said leg as a shape, and I guess a leg is a shape.
24:29Well, no, it isn't.
24:30Is it not?
24:30No, it isn't a shape.
24:32Is it not?
24:33No!
24:34If someone told you to draw a leg shape, you'd know exactly what to draw.
24:38That's true.
24:40Very clever.
24:40LAUGHTER
24:42We'll see their paintings after you have watched some adverts
24:46and Alex has flossed me.
24:49Bring forth the Gooch floss!
24:51LAUGHTER
25:01APPLAUSE
25:02Welcome back to Taskmaster and an ultimate team task
25:05involving painting and grunting.
25:07Oh, yes.
25:08One person from each team could look at the original painting
25:10while the painters held them and asked questions.
25:13The answers could, of course, only come in the form of grunts
25:16or, in Armando's case, quite a lot of words.
25:19Let's see the team of three's picture, first of all.
25:22This is what Joel, Amy and Kamau came up with.
25:26Oh!
25:28APPLAUSE
25:31You used to say that Freddie Mercury didn't ride horses.
25:35LAUGHTER
25:36We don't know.
25:37R.I.P.
25:38Look at all those beautiful leg shapes.
25:40Yeah.
25:41And look at the direction of the horse as we compare the two.
25:44Yeah.
25:45Oh!
25:46The only thing that's let it down.
25:47It's pretty good.
25:48Yeah.
25:49It's pretty good.
25:49Quite a coquettish back leg from their horse.
25:53LAUGHTER
25:55May I?
25:58You might not think it's quite as good when you see what
26:00the team of two managed to come up with.
26:01Let's go.
26:02Ready?
26:02They did this.
26:04LAUGHTER
26:15That was with Armando saying full word.
26:18Yeah.
26:19I think I made the mistake by facing the man forward,
26:23because that's what Putin does in the photo I've seen of him.
26:27So, the man's forward, but the horse is sideways.
26:31And...
26:31What is the horse?
26:32It's got a...
26:33Where's the horse?
26:34It's yours are down this way.
26:35The only way you have the horse is if it was painted
26:38seconds after it was hit by a bazooka.
26:41LAUGHTER
26:43I haven't said this in 20 series, but I sort of think
26:45you should be removed from the show.
26:48LAUGHTER
26:49LAUGHTER
26:51Let's have a look at all three.
26:52OK, all three, and then some points, please, Greg.
26:55LAUGHTER
26:55It says something when that painting of Freddie Mercury
26:59on...
27:00..sitting on the back of an anteater
27:02is by far the best picture!
27:05LAUGHTER
27:05So, is that five points for the team of three?
27:07Of course!
27:08Right.
27:08Of course.
27:09And now it's...
27:11..how low do we go, I suppose.
27:13LAUGHTER
27:14So, I was going to give you two points.
27:16You do need to be penalised for Armando's flagrant cheating,
27:19so you'll have one point and you'll thank me for it.
27:22LAUGHTER
27:22It's one for the team of two, it's five for the team of three.
27:25APPLAUSE
27:28Let's get on with the next task, please.
27:30OK, and Taskmaster gets all classy now,
27:33as this task involves ascension via a gilded royal staircase
27:37upon which there are boobs.
27:52Alex?
27:53Kamal?
27:54LAUGHTER
27:57LAUGHTER
27:58Ah.
28:00Ooh!
28:03Have you seen it?
28:05Have I seen what?
28:06This.
28:08I like the echo.
28:09Me too.
28:10How are you?
28:12Good.
28:15There's so many boobs.
28:17Greg did the high ones.
28:19LAUGHTER
28:22It's the album.
28:24Nothing gets by me.
28:25Get to the top of the staircase.
28:28You must take one step at a time.
28:32On each step you must discard a letter and say at least one word.
28:39You must not use a word...
28:41I love to start it again because I'm not listening to what I'm saying.
28:44LAUGHTER
28:47Get to the top of the staircase.
28:51Feels like a bit of me, this.
28:53You must take one step at a time.
28:54On each step you must discard a letter and say at least one word.
29:00You must not use a word containing a letter you have discarded.
29:04And you must not repeat any words at any point.
29:08Nah, that's not a bit of me, this.
29:10Really not a bit of me.
29:11You must not repeat any words at any point.
29:14Otherwise you must start again.
29:16Highest step reached wins.
29:19You have ten minutes.
29:20Your time starts on the whistle.
29:23Do you understand?
29:24It's very condescending.
29:27LAUGHTER
29:27Yes, I understand.
29:29It's pretty simple.
29:31All the information's on the task.
29:33If you want to put on the alphabet gauntlet.
29:36Er...
29:38Look at this.
29:40This is going to go badly.
29:42There are 25 steps.
29:46Are there 25 letters in the alphabet?
29:48There are, aren't there?
29:49Are there?
29:50Roughly.
29:51APPLAUSE
29:56So early on you said,
29:57Oh, this is a bit of me, this is.
29:59Right?
30:00And then later you went,
30:01Oh, actually, this is not a bit of me.
30:03What happened to change your mind that this was a bit of you?
30:06I realised that when I said,
30:07Oh, this is a bit of me.
30:08Yeah.
30:09Er...
30:10It was just steps.
30:12Right.
30:13LAUGHTER
30:13That's what I'm intrigued.
30:16So...
30:17So the thing that's a bit of you is walking up steps.
30:20Yeah.
30:20LAUGHTER
30:21And I'm always interested in, er, digging into an actor's method.
30:25Your method is to say the words, but not think about them.
30:30LAUGHTER
30:33Yes!
30:34What?
30:36Yes.
30:38Right, who are we going to see first?
30:40First up, it's Ian, Dom and Paige.
30:42That's Iannucci, Domit and Joanna Paige.
30:53Hi.
30:54Just say the letter and then the word.
30:56That would be crazy.
30:57Hi.
30:58H-I?
30:58Yep, H-I.
31:00OK.
31:00You've now said, yeah, as well.
31:01So just...
31:02Let's not say yes again, please.
31:05I'm discarding the letter...
31:08X.
31:09Fruit.
31:10I'm discarding the letter Z.
31:14Dramatary.
31:15Dramatary.
31:17G.
31:18Hamster.
31:19N.
31:20Mouse.
31:21T.
31:22Buzzard.
31:24Back.
31:25What's the letter?
31:26T.
31:27T back, OK.
31:28What's the letter?
31:28S.
31:29Mm-hmm.
31:32O.
31:33What's the letter?
31:34R.
31:34Yep.
31:36K.
31:37POOL.
31:37Y.
31:382J.
31:39POOL.
31:39P-O-O-L.
31:41S.
31:42Helicopter.
31:43Yeah, you've got a T in helicopter, unfortunately.
31:45Yes, but you can't use words using any of these letters.
31:49Yeah, it's harder than you thought it was.
31:52Same.
31:54Pardon?
31:54Same.
31:55Well, I don't think you can say that, really, because what was the one you just put down?
31:58Mmm.
31:58So now you have to put them all off and start again.
32:00I understand it now.
32:01Yep.
32:01Don't say anything else.
32:02I get it.
32:03OK.
32:03We're in.
32:04Yep.
32:04Let's go.
32:05OK.
32:05I'm discarding the letter W.
32:09B.
32:10U.
32:11O.
32:13Lovely.
32:14We're halfway through the alphabet.
32:16Yes.
32:16Well, you can't really say yes.
32:18No.
32:19Because you've got rid of Y.
32:21Sorry about that.
32:22Can I ask a question?
32:23Do I have to say I'm discarding the letter?
32:25I don't know why you're doing that.
32:27I think...
32:28Well, this changes everything.
32:30G.
32:32House.
32:32B.
32:33New.
32:34S.
32:37Bus.
32:38No, let's start again.
32:40Y.
32:41Low.
32:43X.
32:44Soppy.
32:45Soppy.
32:45You've had Y, though, so start again.
32:48Concrete.
32:48Door.
32:49Light.
32:50Ah.
32:53This is where we got to last time.
32:59Pardon?
33:00Why?
33:02Start again.
33:04W.
33:05W.
33:05W.
33:05W.
33:05W.
33:06W.
33:06W.
33:06W.
33:07W.
33:07W.
33:08W.
33:08W.
33:09W.
33:10W.
33:10W.
33:11W.
33:11W.
33:12W.
33:13W.
33:13W.
33:15W.
33:18W.
33:20W.
33:20W.
33:20W.
33:23W.
33:24W.
33:25W.
33:41I
33:42You can just like look at this yeah, we've only got 15 seconds now
33:45Just look at this and like spell stuff off that well you said that twice so start again. You've got
33:49ten seconds
33:51Should I just take the ten seconds just to think for like a moment just enjoy the fact that we're
33:55in a beautiful place?
33:56Yeah, yeah, let's have a look around
34:03B
34:06I
34:08And that is your time up your language in the last one wasn't great. Yeah, I'm discover NLF. Yes
34:15Right
34:17I'm off for some ice cream
34:25I
34:26Wrote down that Joel Joel and Armando are very different men aren't they and my evidence for that was that
34:34Your opener was high and his was dromedary
34:39Would you all like to see a grown man say words that he knows he shouldn't be saying
34:44Look at that
35:01What should we do next and you're like what?
35:06I
35:07You start going fucking bitch
35:09I shouted bomb which I just thought no, I know I just I wrote down something when you started bomb
35:16I wrote
35:17Armando
35:18Started to look like a politician having a breakdown in Westminster
35:22Joanna was most confident in our decisions
35:25I had a system and it was animals and that's every third word you said was an animal was a
35:31strange pattern of vocabulary
35:32She got the highest out of these three except for Armando
35:39Armando the twelfth Joel very pleased with his eight. I'll take that
35:42I'll take eight
35:44Yeah, I'll definitely take that and I just enjoyed the step
35:46Yeah
35:48Right that's the end of part three in part four
35:50Someone will wear the hip flask a parachute some melatonin a video of a lady dancing in the nudge and
35:57a trolley with Lorraine Kelly in it
35:58It sounds like one hell of a night out
36:00Get me in
36:10Welcome back to the final part of the show on a task which feels like a sad metaphor for the
36:16aging process
36:17Yes, I suppose you're right they're struggling to get up the stairs then forgetting what they're doing and heading back
36:22down again
36:22And they seem to have lost the most basic of vocabulary
36:25It's a laugh though, isn't it, Greg? It's a laugh
36:27Simple rules, simple rules lose a letter every step don't repeat words or say words that contain the lost letters
36:33just two people left to go
36:34It is Amy and Kamel
36:39Box
36:41Put it on the floor
36:43Wherever you want
36:45Right now pick it up and start again
36:49You've discarded x and then used the word box which has an x in it
36:52I wanted to do it the other way around didn't I?
36:55Zed
36:57Hello
36:57Hello
36:58Hello
36:59X
37:00Hi
37:00Hi
37:03Box
37:03No you said box you can't repeat words
37:08On the step no you've got to be on the step
37:14You can say x that would be helpful
37:15X
37:16Great
37:17And what word are you going to say?
37:18Cheese
37:23W ice cream j south g north l east f bop v loof
37:34Chuck
37:35Plum
37:36Watch
37:36Pen
37:37Sob
37:37Whale
37:38Mend
37:39Hide
37:40C
37:43Hour
37:44Hour
37:45Spending power
37:46H-O-U-R
37:47H
37:48Hour
37:49O-U-R
37:50U
37:51Bar
37:52S
37:53Tam
37:54E
37:54Amp
37:55T
37:55Am
37:56E
37:58I
38:00I
38:06N
38:08Ah
38:10Ah
38:10Ah
38:12Ah
38:22What a performance from both really strong wasn't it yeah apart from the double box nightmare
38:27Oh yeah
38:28I didn't quite get it and then I got it and you got it and then I got it and
38:32I knew you were sure when you got to the word loaf
38:35You said loaf so threatening
38:39Very whole yeah, I never thought I would see a grown man discard a child's play letter and say aye
38:48and internally go hi so cool
38:50I feel like that was the best I ever did on any of the tasks will you say that is
38:56a slight oh no
38:58Don't do this
39:00Can I don't what sorry
39:04Ten seconds ago I was saying how cool you were yeah, can I say something
39:11Wiggle your boobs
39:18When
39:18The thing was you ended up with two letters and amy ended up with one letter when they got to
39:23the top
39:2425 steps 26 letters, but you still have two left imagine if I did better
39:30Nowhere near
39:33There's no way wank boys
39:35There's no way it's beaten
39:37We love about this episode it's died with someone struggling with a wink and ended with someone struggling with a
39:42wank
39:53Once you've all gone we'll we'll re-record that with me second
39:58Well, we couldn't understand what happened with all the letters so have a look at this
40:03H
40:04Our
40:04O-U-R
40:06S
40:07Rib
40:09U
40:09Was it rib or rip?
40:11Buh
40:11R-I-B
40:14U
40:15U
40:24Thank you. Thank you. Congratulations. Thank you. I know the alphabet
40:31You didn't discard the U on a step until you took a second step with the U so you
40:36You took one extra step you had already got to 20 at that point. I just want you to know
40:41That I did not cheat on purpose
40:44That was an oversight. I would never cheat. That's what nixon said
40:48I am not a cheat
40:52So points wise eight steps for joel one point joanna got to 11 two points amando 12 three points cameo
40:58you got to 20 steps
40:59You get four points for the winner 25 steps all of them and five points to
41:06Amy
41:07Put the scores down shall we yes, I think we could have our first look at the series scoreboard an
41:12early look at that
41:13We have three men in their 30s camels on 37. Armando 36 and joel 35
41:19Two women in their 50s
41:22Joanna's got 50 and amy's got 53 at this
41:25Wow
41:28Yes and also
41:32Oh for god's sake
41:35Take it out
41:36Take it out
41:37Take it out
41:38Take it out
41:40Take it out
41:41Take it out
41:41Take it out
41:42Take it so long today
41:45Just in time
41:48Okay everyone please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show
41:55Oh
42:02Hello you delightful cherub
42:04Hello greg these are available at just 19.99
42:10Who will be reading the task out?
42:14Armando Iannucci
42:16The colonel
42:18Okay here we go
42:20Transfer greg's balls from your bucket
42:23To your beaker
42:25You must wave with one hand at all times and that hand must not touch balls or snooker cues
42:30Also your snooker cue must balance with one end touching the table at all times
42:35And you can only touch your snooker cue with your non-waving hand
42:40For every one of alex's balls that ends up in your beaker three of greg's balls will be subtracted from
42:47your score
42:48You i'm already questioning this as i'm reading you you have 100 seconds most greg's balls wins
42:54They had to be greg's balls did they for this task
42:57Everyone likes them
42:59You can all grasp your cues now as armando is
43:03Okay
43:04And have one hand ready to wave so they must be waving at all times greg if they don't wave
43:09we need to be on
43:09Oh i'll be on them like a puma
43:11It's clever
43:12Start waving and start transferring balls
43:15They're off
43:19Wave joel waving
43:23Waving please joel waving joel waving
43:30Waving oh no
43:34Waving waving
43:38Waving hello camille
43:45Waving
43:46You're doing it
43:47Hello Amy
43:49Hello Amy
43:49Hello Amy
43:50Oh you've got it come on
43:50Oh Mando
43:54Your balls are everywhere greg
43:56Oh my god
43:57Right
43:58Right
43:59Right
43:59Okay
43:59Fifteen seconds left
44:08Waving
44:10Waving
44:11Oh
44:12Four
44:13Three
44:14Two
44:15One
44:20You've got some alex
44:22You've got some alexes
44:25Well greg i'm going to have to count up how many alex balls are in there beakers
44:29Yes
44:30I'll be honest halfway through i forgot which one was supposed to be in there
44:35Which one were you supposed to have in greg greg greg greg greg
44:40Well it was fun
44:43Listen we'll add them up we'll add it to your final scores come down and join me
44:55All the balls in tubes were they the right balls well interesting i mean amy and joel both got 11
45:02balls in tubes
45:04Oh charles like a machine was like a machine but was he like a good machine
45:10Six for me five of gregs that's a score of minus 13
45:15Oh
45:16Oh
45:17Wank
45:23Amanda and joanna both put four of greg's balls in the bucket correctly
45:28Kamel put eight balls in one was an alex which means you get a score of five you're in second
45:33place but the winner five points 11 of greg's balls amy greg greg again
45:36What
45:40You want to hit the final scores then i want to hit the final scores then
45:45In joint fourth joanna and joel with 12 points but in joint first by herself it's amy glenhill with 22
45:50points
45:51Yay
45:53Amy glenhill wins the episode please head up to go silly with your string the paul thing
46:04So what have we learned today well we've learned a lot about people some actors don't think about what they're
46:10saying
46:11They're just saying the words some people cough in words some people think that skin color is a shape
46:17It's been a funny old show started off with someone struggling with a wink
46:24And ended with someone struggling with a wank
46:29And then we're off again but here's your winner it's amy blenhill
46:56Olivia munn hard fi and a rip-roaring start to your weekend tfi friday's unplugged and brand-new five past
47:03eleven tomorrow night
47:04Homer fricked with beautiful renditions of the king of rock and roll across edinburgh and liverpool in the latest from
47:10your song streaming now
47:12next tonight it's been described as an instant classic it's a double big mood
47:19You
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