00:00:08The Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:11Here, attach the Queen!
00:00:14Queen's Critic!
00:00:17Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:19Come on, Jack.
00:00:21I'll take one of each this morning, please.
00:00:24And a sundae as well.
00:00:27That's right.
00:00:30Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:32Here, attach the Queen!
00:00:50No, I shan't have anything.
00:00:53Sorry, dear.
00:01:21I think it's right.
00:01:23Do you?
00:01:24Yeah.
00:01:25Now I think about it, she is a bit priggish.
00:01:32You know, it's the majority of people.
00:01:33Alright, mate.
00:01:35You've got to do a great job.
00:01:39Nice.
00:01:40I reckon you're good.
00:01:55Good tour.
00:01:58Come on, Axe.
00:02:00That's it.
00:02:00Don't push.
00:02:01You're not alting him.
00:02:03Yes.
00:02:07Get straight up!
00:02:44Really?
00:02:48Really?
00:02:53Really.
00:02:55Well, I shall certainly let Her Majesty know.
00:03:04Time and tide, Mr. Conservator.
00:03:07Wait for no man, Private Secretary.
00:03:09Good afternoon to you.
00:03:11Good afternoon, sir.
00:03:24What is it now?
00:03:27Lord Altrincham has been struck.
00:03:33Dumb, I hope.
00:03:35Better than that, ma'am.
00:03:37In the face.
00:03:39Quite forcefully, I'm told.
00:03:42By whom?
00:03:44Which gallant and chivalrous individual?
00:03:46I'm afraid we don't have those details yet, ma'am.
00:03:50The incident occurred outside the television studios.
00:03:54And the perpetrator is now on his way to the Bow Street police station
00:03:58where we expect him to be released without charge.
00:04:03Well, how very gratifying.
00:04:05Yes.
00:04:06Very.
00:04:08Which television studios?
00:04:10The Independent Television Network studios, ma'am,
00:04:13where Altrincham had just recorded an interview.
00:04:17For what?
00:04:19A programme appropriately called Impact.
00:04:23When will it air?
00:04:25Tonight, ma'am.
00:04:27Nine o'clock.
00:04:47Tell the people.
00:04:48Tell them on television.
00:04:51Questions in the public mind.
00:04:53Answered by people in the public eye.
00:04:55This is Impact.
00:04:58A programme that examines the most important matters of the moment.
00:05:02And which will debate to you at home.
00:05:05Sorry I'm late.
00:05:05Robin Day puts the question.
00:05:07It's just starting.
00:05:10Tonight we have a man who, because of press activity in recent days,
00:05:14probably needs no introduction.
00:05:15Lord Altrincham.
00:05:16In the space of just a few days,
00:05:18his inflammatory and deeply personal attacks on the Queen,
00:05:21in a periodical of which he is also publisher,
00:05:24have become the most pressing issue of the day
00:05:26and caused something of a constitutional crisis.
00:05:29So, I'd like to begin by asking Lord Altrincham a simple question.
00:05:34She's our Head of State.
00:05:36Loved, respected and admired throughout the world.
00:05:39So, why do you hate her so very much?
00:05:41What do you think of all this Savannah and cultural dance exists?
00:05:46What is ë˜ thinking of both.
00:05:47And I ask me more things than to również tell em.
00:05:47And, um, I think someone thought about you.
00:05:59To think about it prior to ourselves,
00:06:02you know.
00:06:02I would be interested in looking for a new hitter
00:06:02But I feel compelled to be,
00:06:04But I think I don't think I was问题ising a new place.
00:06:04And you know when I think I'm happy going along?
00:07:14It's far too long.
00:07:15People are beginning to notice.
00:07:17And that is why the...
00:07:22And that is why the ending of doctrinal tests
00:07:25and the introduction of women priests
00:07:26is the only viable solution for saving the Church of England,
00:07:30an institution that is becoming increasingly outdated
00:07:33and irrelevant hour by hour.
00:07:36Who's got a thousand words for me on that?
00:07:38Hello, Patricia.
00:07:40Would anyone like some toffee?
00:07:41Oh, bring it over here, Patricia darling.
00:07:49Oh, divine.
00:07:51Much like Patricia herself.
00:07:53Come, come, my dear.
00:07:54Be seated.
00:07:58Right.
00:07:59If no-one's keen on the Church story,
00:08:02I can knock something up.
00:08:03Now, a piece on reforming the House of Laws.
00:08:06Dermot.
00:08:07You were going to look at that for me, weren't you?
00:08:08Something nutty about it.
00:08:10Mmm.
00:08:11Molasses.
00:08:11And Europe.
00:08:13We need to work out our official stance.
00:08:15Are we for or against a single European market?
00:08:21Are we in or out?
00:08:25Toffee, John.
00:08:27Oh, you must try some, John.
00:08:29Afraid I have a thing against toffee.
00:08:34Why didn't I know that?
00:08:37You can't know everything about me.
00:08:42It's not the taste I object to so much.
00:08:45I just have painful memories.
00:08:49As a child.
00:08:51Or sitting in a dentist's chair
00:08:54because of a piece of toffee I ate.
00:08:58Oh.
00:09:01Oh, Lord.
00:09:03Not again.
00:09:05Sorry.
00:09:07Have I...
00:09:08Sorry?
00:09:10Perhaps you don't.
00:09:11Understand
00:09:12that on your steadfastness
00:09:14and ability
00:09:15to withstand
00:09:16the fatigue
00:09:17of dull, repetitive work
00:09:20and your great courage
00:09:22in meeting
00:09:22constant,
00:09:24small adversities
00:09:25depend in great measure
00:09:28the happiness
00:09:29and prosperity
00:09:30of the community
00:09:31as a whole.
00:09:38the upward course
00:09:40of a nation's history
00:09:41is due
00:09:42in the long run
00:09:44to the soundness
00:09:45of heart
00:09:46of its average
00:09:47men and women.
00:09:51Um...
00:09:53working men and women?
00:09:57It has a touch
00:09:58more dignity.
00:09:59Yeah.
00:10:06No, I think average
00:10:07is fine.
00:10:22what you might be interested
00:10:24to see this.
00:10:25It's a draft
00:10:26of a speech
00:10:27the Queen's going to give
00:10:28in a week's time.
00:10:30I don't mind telling you
00:10:31I felt a bit uneasy
00:10:32about it.
00:10:49Sir, forgive me
00:10:52if I'm interfering
00:10:53beyond my station.
00:11:01Tommy.
00:11:02Arthur.
00:11:04You were about
00:11:05to interfere
00:11:05beyond your station.
00:11:09It's concerning
00:11:10the speech
00:11:11the Queen is due
00:11:12to give next week
00:11:13at the Jagger car factory.
00:11:16What about it?
00:11:17I was just
00:11:19wondering
00:11:19if you were happy
00:11:20with it.
00:11:24Well, obviously
00:11:25I'm happy with it.
00:11:26Or I wouldn't have
00:11:27shown it to Her Majesty
00:11:29for the approval
00:11:30which she immediately gave.
00:11:33Did the Queen read it?
00:11:34She didn't need to.
00:11:36She merely asked
00:11:37if I was happy.
00:11:39I replied in the affirmative.
00:11:41And that was
00:11:43good enough
00:11:43for Her Majesty.
00:11:46But I can see
00:11:48that the really
00:11:49important question is
00:11:50is it good enough
00:11:52for Colonel
00:11:53Charteries?
00:11:55You don't think
00:11:57it strikes
00:11:58the wrong tone?
00:12:00In which sense?
00:12:02In its
00:12:05paternalism.
00:12:07May I?
00:12:12Sir?
00:12:13I suppose
00:12:14if I
00:12:15had a concern
00:12:18it would be
00:12:19it would be
00:12:19that post-Suez
00:12:20in this new
00:12:22climate
00:12:23in this new
00:12:24Britain
00:12:26the tone
00:12:27of the speech
00:12:28is
00:12:30somewhat
00:12:30somewhat what?
00:12:36Old-fashioned.
00:12:39And would leave
00:12:40her open
00:12:41to attack
00:12:41from whom?
00:12:42the newspapers.
00:12:46People.
00:12:47If I had a shilling
00:12:48for every time
00:12:49someone of a
00:12:50progressive or
00:12:51liberal disposition
00:12:52had warned
00:12:52needlessly
00:12:53of a popular
00:12:54attack against
00:12:55the crown
00:12:55I'd be a rich man.
00:12:57The British people
00:12:58adore their sovereign.
00:13:00It is what
00:13:00constitutes
00:13:01indeed defines
00:13:02being British.
00:13:04Now the worst
00:13:05I've ever encountered
00:13:06is apathy
00:13:07where people
00:13:08simply accept
00:13:09the king or queen
00:13:10as they accept
00:13:10the sky above
00:13:11their heads.
00:13:12But it's a long
00:13:13way from apathy
00:13:14to insurrection.
00:13:16Now as regards
00:13:17the newspapers
00:13:18the crown can count
00:13:19on their support
00:13:20for two reasons.
00:13:21First
00:13:21there is nothing
00:13:22to attack.
00:13:24That's the advantage
00:13:24of a constitutional
00:13:25monarchy.
00:13:26They have no power
00:13:28so there's nothing
00:13:28to complain about.
00:13:29And even
00:13:30if they wanted to
00:13:31they'd always let
00:13:32us know first.
00:13:34The palace would
00:13:34then threaten them
00:13:35with a boycott
00:13:36on the next
00:13:36major royal event
00:13:37causing the newspapers
00:13:39immediately
00:13:40to back down
00:13:40because the very
00:13:42people you fear
00:13:43will hate
00:13:44the queen
00:13:45and the same ones
00:13:46who buy copies
00:13:47in their millions.
00:13:49Why?
00:13:50Because they love her.
00:13:55So I'm
00:13:56worrying unnecessarily.
00:13:58Martin
00:13:59I shall leave
00:14:01the drawing of that
00:14:02inescapable conclusion
00:14:03to you.
00:14:22I'm going to take it
00:14:23in a little
00:14:23shorter, ma'am
00:14:24and rounder
00:14:25at the back.
00:14:26Lovely.
00:14:27love you, too,
00:14:31love you, too.
00:14:44Thanks, Tim!
00:14:54Come here, us now.
00:14:57Love you.
00:15:17I like it very much.
00:15:44I thought you were hoping for more children from me.
00:15:49I am.
00:15:52Why on earth would you do something like that to your hair?
00:15:55What's wrong with it?
00:15:59I thought it was tidy and sensible.
00:16:02Adjectives to stir the loins?
00:16:05Apparently it's very animoge.
00:16:07All the regimental wives are wearing their hair like this now.
00:16:10Really?
00:16:11Yes.
00:16:11It's certainly very practical.
00:16:14And should you ever feel compelled to ride a motorcycle, it could always double as a helmet.
00:16:20Well, I like it.
00:16:24I have nothing against it, Pastor.
00:16:27Stop it.
00:16:28She won't provide ample protection against any falling masonry.
00:16:37But if enlarging the family and enticing your husband to procreate is the goal...
00:16:43It is.
00:16:44Then you might take a look at Jane Mansfield.
00:16:46Or Rita Hayworth.
00:16:51Or Rita Hayworth.
00:17:18Sir, will you be fine?
00:17:19Welcome, Your Majesty.
00:17:20Thank you, sir.
00:17:21Elliot.
00:17:22How do you do?
00:17:24Elliot.
00:17:24It's very, very, um, spacious.
00:17:27Is this our research and development area?
00:17:29No, no, at all.
00:17:30May I introduce you, ma'am, to Nigel Willoughby,
00:17:33who sketches all of our prototypes?
00:17:36You studied drawing, did you?
00:17:38Very good, sir.
00:17:40And that's a chassis?
00:17:41Yes, indeed.
00:17:42A finished MK1, Your Majesty.
00:17:45Ah, no, it's lovely.
00:17:47With top speeds of over 100 miles per hour.
00:17:51Quite the thing, I've always been interested in the red leather.
00:17:54Yes.
00:17:55Is it horse or cow?
00:17:58Hello.
00:18:10I wish first to express to you my very great pleasure at being here today.
00:18:17My husband and I have been most profoundly moved by your hospitable welcome.
00:18:24And would like you to know how very grateful we are to you all for the work that you do.
00:18:32We understand that in the turbulence of this anxious and active world, many of you are leading uneventful, lonely lives,
00:18:43where dreariness is the enemy.
00:18:48Perhaps you don't understand that on your steadfastness and ability to withstand the fatigue of dull, repetitive work depend in
00:19:00great measure the happiness and prosperity of the community as a whole.
00:19:07The upward course of a nation's history is due, in the long run, to the soundness of heart of its
00:19:15average men and women.
00:19:18May you be proud to remember how much depends on you.
00:19:22And that even when your life seems most monotonous, what you do is always of real value and importance to
00:19:33your fellow.
00:19:34Well, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:36Well, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:39Come on, everybody, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:42Hello, Doctor.
00:19:44Evening, Richard.
00:19:46News Corical.
00:19:48Evening, Richard.
00:19:55Ah, I need a favour, some typing.
00:19:57Oh, you're going home.
00:19:59I don't need to be.
00:20:05I've just heard a ridiculous speech by the Queen, and I want to write an immediate response.
00:20:12I'll find someone else.
00:20:13No, no, it's no trouble.
00:20:15I had nothing else planned.
00:20:46I've had another thought.
00:20:47Super.
00:20:49A rather heretical thought.
00:20:51I got the idea from something Walter Badgett said about the first duty of royalty being to inspire.
00:20:57Well, whatever.
00:20:57Go, no, no, no.
00:20:57I'll find that a little better.
00:20:58Right.
00:21:01I'll find her.
00:25:21Thank you, Madam.
00:35:06Good day.
00:37:34Thank you,
00:40:00Go.
00:40:53Not yet.
00:42:05Good to know I'm seeing you.
00:44:47Why?
00:46:45Next.
00:48:54good.
00:53:425,
00:57:31Hello.
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