- 5 weeks ago
The Assembly - Australia - Season 3 Episode 4 -
Dave Hughes
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Dave Hughes
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FunTranscript
00:06I'm actually really keen for this oh yeah so I love her we've learnt so much it's the lady
00:11from Australian Story how are we all oh very keen good pumped up are you curious to hear how
00:16he sounds when he walks in he's gonna say hello hi everyone all right he's on the way in oh
00:25my
00:25god he's here he's coming mate hey Lee how are you yeah good yourself yeah good thank you come through
00:35come say hi hi who's he everybody hi who's he how are you do you want to call you who's
00:40he or Jay yeah
00:41who's he's good yeah yeah all good you smell nice I appreciate that so I have got some aftershave on
00:48so yeah have you watched the assembly yet oh yeah it's great show yeah you've had some massive
00:55celebrities you guys are legends hello he's he hello we are a collective of autistic journalism
01:02students and we are very happy to have you join us today no subject is out of bounds no questions
01:08off the table anything might happen good so without further ado welcome to the assembly thank you
01:21okay so Abby can you get yourself onto this mark here okay in three tonight the assembly returns and
01:33graduates from past series are back another day another prep and Lee Sayles is mentoring us
01:44the students have graduated from the journalism foundations course and they're ready for the
01:49next step taking us on the road wow and behind the scenes this is really awesome to level up our
01:58media
01:58skills hey Abby we're about to record a song okay I'm ready to go on both sides of the camera
02:05square up to
02:05the camera some of Australia's most celebrated names are taking the hot seat no making me cry okay for
02:13interviews like you've never seen before what do you consider your most important decision um have
02:18you ever been arrested that is a good question what is the most bogan thing you've ever done oh
02:25you've got this dress this is the most fun I've ever had I go first cuz I'm the disabled one
02:52and you go I'm gonna put my my lonely headphones in there let me guess I am right here as
02:58always
02:59I'm behind this annoying ass plant it's a good plan everyone be quiet leaves coming good morning
03:07everyone okay would you like to know who our next guest is he is one of Australia's most popular comedians
03:20he's had a career of a couple of decades on both television and radio oh my god also a very
03:26busy
03:26and popular stand-up comedian it's Dave now what what do you all know about Dave Hughes it was on
03:38the
03:39project he was um on you see we have a problem hello my name is Dave Hughes and like everyone
03:45else I've
03:46got problems three of them are my children and don't get it wrong I love them and I finally got
03:52something that I'm prepared to die for but the thing is I probably want that day to be today to
03:56be
03:56honest he was the goblin from next door from do not watch the show hang on you're that fella from
04:05that do
04:05not watch this show show aren't ya he was on I'm a celebrity get me out of here and he
04:12was I think
04:13he was a judge on the mass singer think I might have an idea here yeah yeah I will talk
04:18in controversial
04:19sports star I think this person highly strong might be a tennis player Savannah he has a strong Australian
04:29accent he really does doesn't he I can actually do it can you show me oh yeah how are you
04:35yeah how
04:36are you everyone thank you shall we split into groups you don't work on our questions all right
04:41let's do it okay don't get my notebook I feel so excited about meeting Dave Hughes this is probably
04:50about going to be the best one of the season so he's been a a very funny man he's been
04:57on the glass
04:58house spicks and specs and even on the logies was he ever up for a gold or never even up
05:04for a girl oh
05:05my god I feel bad hello my name's Lee nice to meet you oh hi Lee I'm Anastasia lovely new
05:14you looking
05:15forward to doing Husey started to see a funny man fun guy do you know much that Dave Hughes has
05:20been on Savannah I do know the show Husey we have a problem because whenever there's drama happening
05:23within the family or a group of friends of mine say Husey we have a problem hahaha I think he'll
05:30be
05:30a good guest I think who tell stories even yeah even before his even before his mask breaks down he'll
05:36probably at least be good at chatting to us I guess my thought is whether it'll feel like he's having
05:43a
05:43conversation with us or whether he's kind of performing yeah that's true that is a very good
05:48point I have to see if we can come up with some creative questions to bust him out of that
05:51yeah
05:53Husey's been around so long and there's so much content online about him it's actually quite hard to
05:58wade through it all so what I'm gonna do is take the students to a comedy club where he's performed
06:02to just try to get to the essence of the man all right let's go come on in whoa look
06:12at this play
06:14what I'm hoping is that they get a sense of what it's like backstage in a theatre which is always
06:19really exciting even when there's nobody here so this is backstage for the performers okay but also
06:27what it feels like when you walk out onto a stage I want them to imagine that the room is
06:31full of
06:31people and you are on stage at the Edinburgh this is really awesome wow Oliver you've had a bit of
06:44experience in theatre what what do you reckon would be going through your mind if you were stepping out
06:48with so many people I think I'd be nervous but I often find that the nerves are what fuels the
06:54energy
06:54you to go on stage would anyone be interested in having a go of some stand-up hello I should
07:11probably tell you about myself my name Oliver my age 27 this is a gift I'm far more at home
07:21on stage
07:22then I am off my star sign irrelevant but Capricorn and the fact that I have autism I mean you
07:30probably
07:30could have figured that out from the fact I'm on the assembly but you know here we are I know
07:36what I
07:36have to say I get off I was at home I love that here comes Fletcher
07:47did you hear about the circus fire it was intense
07:53hello everyone I'm going to be doing an impersonation of a journalist let's see if you can guess who this
07:59is hello prime minister why aren't you answering the question you're not answering the question
08:06prime minister this is politics guilty guilty you're not giving us a proper answer and for the next
08:13guest Lisa do you know what as hilarious as I would be in as much as I'd bring the house
08:20down
08:21I have actually got a real comedian here to talk to you I've invited Will Anderson to come along
08:36today to tell the students a bit about what it's like doing stand-up but also he's a mate of
08:41Dave Hughes
08:41so perhaps to give them a bit of Intel on Dave um everyone this is Will hello thanks for having
08:48me
08:48today he's one of the country's most successful stand-up comedians has his own TV show and so
08:53Will thank you very much for coming in to have a chat to us I mean that's it's pretty exciting
08:58to
08:58interview Dave Hughes yeah has anyone got something they want to ask Will out of all the questions we
09:03could ask what do you think would make the best conversation with him from your experience knowing
09:07him that is firstly an excellent question and I might even steal that question to use when I'm
09:13interviewing people because that's a very good way to start a conversation I think how do you talk to
09:18Husey well firstly I think sports is a good way to start if you want some small chat he loves
09:24his
09:24sports he's obsessed by the Carlton Football Club who are terrible you have to be a comedian to like
09:28the Carlton Football Club but I think also the other thing you've got to realize with Husey is he
09:33loves to talk but he's talked so much over his career that what he'll really love is being asked a
09:38question he hasn't been asked before there's Husey and then there's David Hughes what is the character
09:44and what is the person and I mean I think that's a really great question and what I would add
09:49to that
09:50is how does becoming the persona night after night affect who the real person is that's what I'm
09:57interested in Dave Hughes the man and all his eccentricities I think you will find him a
10:03absolutely generous funny willing to laugh and he'll absolutely just love getting the opportunity
10:11to be asked questions by you but ask him some hard ones oh it's a good crew amazing crew fantastic
10:27how
10:29many times have you been to the ABC when this building first opened I was here so a TV show
10:34called the glass house and I've been having nervous wheeze in this building since 2003 we can go with
10:41the toilet humor if we want it's all good okay we're good we're good to go so Pat do you
10:45want to keep
10:45things off hello everyone this is a safe space everyone can relax and be themselves there will be no
10:53judgment please do what you need to join in for example fidget move take a break and yes even go
11:00to the toilet if you need to ask ask if you need anything to help and you will be included
11:05thank you
11:06um Mitch okay hello Mitch hi Mitch um so what makes you love the AFL team Carlton so much because
11:17they
11:17don't win very often no you that's a very good point and I hope the players are watching um so
11:23they can improve their play when I was five years old which is a long time ago Carlton were on
11:32top of
11:32the ladder and I and I supported another team but a five-year-old friend of mine said why don't
11:38you go
11:38for Carlton and I looked at the ladder and said I don't know why I should and so I started
11:43supporting
11:43Carlton in 1976 and for the first for the next 20 years that was a good decision because we were
11:50always winning we won a lot of premierships and then it went wrong in 2002 we just went to the
11:58bottom
11:58of the ladder and we really haven't improved and all that in the last 23 years and that was it
12:03coincides
12:04when I met my wife the whole time we've been together I haven't been happy oh no don't say
12:13that yeah but she because of Carlton have been terrible so we may have to get divorced um so I
12:20can
12:21look guys this is turning turned into Oprah has it um no I won't get divorced I'll stay with her
12:28but
12:28she needs to realize I've sacrificed yeah so it's sad yeah I'm sorry to bring you down but go to
12:35the
12:35swanies oh the swans win a lot and it annoys me thanks Mitch Willow hi Dave my name is Willow
12:42hello Willow do you get stage fright because I do what do you do to get over your stage fright
12:47I used
12:47to get stage fright a lot so back then I just used power through but you know lately I realized
12:54this is
12:55true it's only really recently and I've been in showbiz for 25 years longer 30 years lately I
13:02realized no one cares and you know what the first time I did stand-up comedy I've been dreaming about
13:08it since I was 14 or 13 and I was 22 when I first started I'd failed uni a couple
13:14of times
13:15and my first ever gig no one laughed and I was like the spotlight was on me I felt like
13:21I was being
13:22interrogated and in my brain was going you're a loser and you're going to be on the dole for the
13:30rest of your life that's what's happening internally that's not a good way to make a room relax and I
13:34was
13:35talking about being teased at school that was my schtick my what I was my angle was and as I
13:40walked
13:41out of the room after no one had laughed some some audience member said to me as I'm walking out
13:45feeling
13:46humiliated they were right to tease you that was exactly but so I felt even worse but I thought if
13:55I don't go back the next week to this same comedy club I'll never do it again yeah and you
13:59know as
14:00I realized even in that failure I what I realized was I'm not physically hurt so it's my choice whether
14:06to you know to be offended or not so I went back the next week and I did okay but
14:12then the next time
14:13I did the third time as I walked on stage I thought to myself something come to me you're a
14:18winner just
14:18for doing this it doesn't matter what happens I relaxed and that third time in 1993 I had possibly
14:27the best gig I've ever had and everyone laughed so much oh in my mind they did and I walked
14:33out of
14:33that I floated out of the room that time and I knew I'd found my life's calling I remember that
14:38this time I would get stage fight thank you Abby oh thank you hello Dave welcome to the assembly
14:46hello Dave how exactly does someone learn to talk like that is there a special school for
14:54Aussie bogan accent oh wait no no seriously Dave um can you tell us about the voice and how successful
15:05it has made you yeah look I know probably a third of the comedians in Australia do an impersonation of
15:11me on stage and get laughs and so but I take it as a compliment because it means people know
15:18who I am
15:19so um I don't know why I speak like this I didn't mean to speak like this um I remember
15:25back being on
15:26The Masked Singer and sitting next to Lindsay Lohan you know international bloody superstar and the first
15:32time I met her she's like why don't you speak English I said I am Lindsay Lohan you should be
15:41like oh I'm sorry jolly good show isn't it see that's funny we're laughing at him now so
15:48I should you know what you guys are really helping my act well I think your voice is very funny
15:56and
15:56every time I listen to you talk I laugh yeah and some people don't but that's fine and I appreciate
16:01that
16:02I do as well but um yeah you're not going to please everyone you have been in comedy for decades
16:08how have you seen the industry change over the years especially when it comes to being more inclusive
16:13or are comedians still making jokes about people with disabilities like me um look I think it has
16:21generally over the years I haven't had to worry about that because my most of my jokes are on me
16:27you know and no one can complain about me mocking myself so occasionally you do a joke and you you
16:34don't think it's going to offend people then it does so and you know you might have to apologize I
16:41remember I did a joke about diabetes once and the Diabetics Association weren't happy but I was talking
16:46about diabetes type 2 not type 1 which is either way well um no it's my my father-in-law's
16:55diabetic
16:56anyway so it is that can be tricky but yeah I think you can be mindful and I think I
17:02have been mindful
17:03over the years absolutely thanks Abby um Oliver do you want to go hi I'm Oliver hey Oliver um when
17:10I do
17:11comedy I often play a character of Oliver yeah that is both a true version of me and a heightened
17:17character having done this for a while it sometimes becomes harder and harder to figure out where the
17:23character begins and the person ends for you who's been doing this for decades what is the difference
17:30between David William Hughes in real life and the Hughesy you play on stage yeah that's a good question
17:36uh so yeah I think my on stage persona is a heightened version of my real persona but it's
17:44funny how different people don't see that and for example my son who's just turned 16 he came to see
17:52a show this year for the first time a full show and he said dad that was weird I said
17:58why because I've
18:00lived with him for 16 years he said I've never seen you so happy then I realized maybe I should
18:08bring
18:08my heightened version of myself to my real life you infamously brought a house on the block for just
18:18over three million dollars without asking your wife yeah um I was an adult for a long time by the
18:24way
18:24things can change despite occurring nearly a decade ago it's still remembered by many it is how long
18:33did it take your wife to forgive you for that she still hasn't but um we still own it never
18:38moved into
18:39it I want to move into it and she goes no everyone will know where we live and I said
18:45honey no one cares
18:46so but yeah so she still hasn't forgiven me the fact you then did it again and bought a house
18:52without
18:52telling her I bought the other one before that but yes um the fact you did it that was terrible
18:58I
18:58know I'm I know and these are first world problems I get it um but again I'm saying I was
19:03on the dial
19:04I grew up in a commission house and so I yeah so I haven't done it for a while which
19:08is good that's
19:09good I hope you don't do it again but yeah I look I mean property is still a good investment
19:14in
19:14Australia if you can get you know it's hard it's so hard now though maybe just ask your wife first
19:20I know I should absolutely I mean yeah you're right good point thanks Oliver Fletcher hello
19:26Hughesy hello Fletcher I really hate cats I don't know how much you hate the F1 commentators
19:33is there anything else that makes you mad yeah right so you hate cats yeah I think you can learn
19:40to love cats oh no wait no no no no no if you met Minka or Bambi or Marshmallow our
19:48three cats you
19:49would like two of them nope yeah cats are fun I hate kitty litter can I say that kitty litter
19:58I really
19:59hate and luckily we've got a new dog ginger who loves eating cat poo so that's good for me so
20:07in one episode of I'm a celebrity get me out of here the other celebrities played the prank on
20:13you by putting stickers on your back and you didn't realize it until the end did you ever
20:17get a chance to shall we say uh prank them back did I get them back so I can't remember
20:23now I hope I
20:24did like I mean obviously this this show's going great guns and most of you will probably end up on
20:30my celebrity get me out of here nope nope nope nope nope nope if that happens just be warned that
20:38shows heart all right so imagine having no electricity for a month I would go crazy yeah I went crazy
20:45you
20:46know and I had one we got one letter from our family in six weeks on that show one letter
20:52that was it and
20:53I text my wife every two hours basically the last 23 years also in her letter to me all she
20:59talked about
20:59was the cats and obviously we've already mentioned the cats and I love the cats but I've also got
21:03three children that I'm quite interested in thank you Uzi thank you pleasure um Savannah good morning Dave
21:14hello my name is Savannah hi welcome it's great to be here appreciate the curtsy if other comedians are
21:22more famous than you do you get jealous of them yes yeah and I'm working on that it's a that's
21:30a
21:30that's a work in progress for example Will Anderson or Hamish Blake or you know Kitty Flanagan I don't
21:38like walking down the street with famous people because I get scared they're going to get asked for
21:43photos and I have to take the photos so I absolutely avoid it have you made out with anyone famous
21:54have I
21:55made out with anyone famous yes oh kiss and towel yeah um look I've really only had two proper
22:03girlfriends in my life first couple I was 24 got me through to probably 30 then I had a year
22:10of being
22:10single and I've met my wife and we've been together 23 years so in that year I did have a
22:18couple of
22:19passions with some actresses one of the logies I won't name but yep remember going down the down
22:26the escalator of the logies pissing at someone from a tv show um so yes is the answer but I
22:33won't name
22:33them in case they get annoyed but um thanks you see appreciate that yeah thanks you ate bull penis
22:46on I'm a celebrity get me out of here what did bull penis taste like compared to chicken or steak
22:52well again because I haven't eaten meat for I think I've been I've been hescetarian which is just eat
22:58fish yes the only meat for about 20 years but I've gone full vegan probably close to 10 years now
23:05so
23:05I have not eaten any meat for 10 years and I tell you a bull penis was a that's jumping
23:12into the deep
23:12end actually it was a boar's penis anyway it was an animal to start with b and it was its
23:18penis um
23:20and they're very chewy so yeah you need to have a lot of tomato sauce with you and I didn't
23:27if you want to know what it's like you know grab your garden hose cut off cut off about six
23:32inches
23:33and try to eat it you know the annoying thing is I got kicked out straight away after I'd eaten
23:39it
23:40because I ate it to stay on the show and I still got kicked out I mean I had three
23:45inches of penis in my
23:46mouth when I got kicked out which is Anastasia yes all right um hello Dave I'm Anastasia lovely to
23:56meet you you too um if you were a contestant on The Masked Singer what would your identity be
24:01and what song would you sing I think my identity would be an air fried chip
24:08eh yeah and I would sing I'd probably sing True Blue from John Williamson hey True Blue
24:16and I'd say I would get kicked off straight away because people would know who I was
24:20and I would be the worst singer the show's ever had because I just I'm tone deaf I don't know
24:25what
24:25it is but just a terrible singer thank you Thomas
24:32Hello Husi with your comedy you would um use your family um for your routines have you ever
24:39gotten into trouble when you were at when you got home yeah I have yeah yeah um I remember once
24:45I
24:45talked about buying shoes because the uh the um the shoe salesman was an attractive woman and then
24:51I did that on radio in my early radio career and my girlfriend at the time I came home to
24:55her
24:55thinking she'd be happier about my new radio show and as I opened the I opened the door and she
25:00looked down at my new shoes and just slammed the door to find somewhere else to live so you've got
25:07sometimes you've got to be careful I'm Finn hi Dave I'm Finn big fan thank you pumped up as you
25:13say
25:14we're pumped up yeah do you ever worry about marketing larrikinism and bogan culture when you're
25:21actually clean living and into meditation yeah look I don't worry about it but I am a bit of a
25:27contradiction um and people I haven't had a drink for since 1992 just before I started comedy actually
25:33I was a big uh user of alcohol as a young person and it would always get me in trouble
25:38so and I was it
25:40wasn't making me happy so I made a decision just before I turned 22 to stop drinking alcohol and all
25:46drugs go up all drugs and um yeah but people look at me now and still think I'm off my
25:52nah so
25:53and people always think I've got a hangover I look like I've got a hangover the whole time
25:57often people go you look terrible you must have had a big night no I've had nine hours sleep I'm
26:01fine
26:02so you should call my sign though thanks mate appreciate it thanks Finn Dale
26:08Hello Hughesy hey mate you've been open that quitting alcohol in your 20s was only half the story
26:14and what's been harder is your obsession with work approval and being everywhere what specific
26:19boundaries have you set to stop work becoming the new addiction yeah yeah it's a good question
26:23and my wife thinks I'm addicted to work look you've got to try to get a balance right my father
26:28used to
26:29say family is the most important thing and I'd go yeah whatever dad I'm going to be a star and
26:34um
26:34but I do realize what he's saying now it took me a long time to realize that he was right
26:39so yeah doing
26:40the project back in the day when I started that tv show with everyone else um I was working every
26:46night doing that I was doing breakfast radio as well in Melbourne so I was gone both ends of the
26:50day
26:51and we had three kids in that time so yeah I wasn't there that much so I should have been
26:56there more
26:57but I was too worried about my own ego but and I have since realized that doesn't matter
27:03but I do love comedy though so and that's was my first love I love comedy long before my children
27:10were born and they need to know that so awesome thank you for answering that thank you uh Daniel
27:18good hey mate how you going yeah good bro my name's Daniel hi Dan to stop drinking is very difficult
27:25for
27:25most people how did you manage this and what what was your motivation look I came from a long line
27:33of drinkers so I grew up with uh my dad drinking too much um which is can be really stressful
27:38for kids
27:38and I saw myself doing the same thing I was always got too drunk which would I'd sometimes wake up
27:45in
27:46a police cell I wasn't violent not a violent person but I would be locked up for my own safety
27:52really
27:52because I was asleep on the road or something and I could see my future laid ahead of me yeah
27:57so I
27:57just decided at the age of 21 I said I'm not going to drink anymore and and I just I
28:02just made a
28:02decision yeah if you realize that alcohol is terrible for you and you fully accept it but then you just
28:08you go I fully accept it and so then it's just gone so and it hasn't it wasn't that hard
28:12actually
28:13so what was the relationship with your father like um well again he had a lot of wisdom there's no
28:18doubt
28:18as you know about family being the most important thing and working hard and I was a lazy teenager
28:24he would drag out of bed so it was yeah and his drinking was an issue there's no doubt so
28:29yeah we
28:29had some tough times um but you know in hindsight there was you know he wanted the best for me
28:37you
28:38know he didn't he kept drinking which he shouldn't have in my opinion I think he would have had a
28:43better
28:43life if he had and not drank yeah there was I mean a lot of people have trouble with their
28:46dads a lot
28:47of blokes have trouble with their dads and I get it so I'm trying not to do that with my
28:51own son yeah
28:52right thanks mate I appreciate it thank you thank you Abby yep um you have talked about how important
29:00your mum was in your upbringing and how she helped you kick your addictions can you tell us a story
29:07about your mum that shaped who you are yeah yes I can I'm emotional my mum um she grew up
29:17in an
29:17orphanage so she didn't really have any parents so but she never complained about that or even wanted
29:25me to mention it so yeah she was a beautiful woman who was strong and um yeah she always
29:33she was my biggest supporter so yeah so thank you so yeah mum was um saw that I was a
29:43smart kid from
29:43yeah very early on so she um yeah she sort of could see that I would um that I had
29:52some you know potential
29:54I suppose so and supported me all the way along so yeah so um yeah mum was always on my
30:01side she
30:02died a couple years ago so yeah she was a great person well my mum means the world to me
30:09and she's
30:09my biggest advocate good good good Evie hi I'm Evie hi Evie um the main thing I want to do
30:21is work in
30:22the creative industry and I find I find it hard to imagine anything else if comedy hadn't worked out
30:29for you what else would you be doing good question so um yeah I really burnt my bridges I start
30:36my
30:37first degree was information technology in 1989 if anyone knows the history of the internet really
30:43started in 1990 I could be Bill Gates right now so I quit up to six weeks because I just
30:48couldn't focus
30:49so and then I did business quit that as well after two years and then I I got sacked from
30:55so many jobs
30:56I got sacked as a dishwasher oh and you might think because you were lazy no I was trying hard
31:02and when you get sacked as a dishwasher and you're trying really hard you think my employment
31:08opportunities are going to be limited you know I turned that into jokes and and these so things bad
31:14things that happened to me you know humiliating things became comedy for me so and yeah the good
31:21thing about social media now is that you can be you're created just by having an Instagram account or
31:26a tick tock account and you create your own work your own art or your own you can do whatever
31:31you like and maybe you don't get paid for it when maybe you're you know your account gets discovered
31:36after you're dead it could be you you never know just keep creating art thanks Evie let's give um
31:44Andrew a turn off you go hello Dave I'm Andrew hi Andrew did your meeting with the
31:52Dalai Lama influence the way you see meditation and mindfulness yeah it did so I did meet with
31:57Dalai Lama while I was on the project back in the day um and he's someone who people see as
32:04being a wise
32:05soul and he just giggled the whole time he looked at me and said I like you and he said
32:11because you've
32:12got crazy eyes and I appreciate that so and I actually got into I said can you bless my football
32:19my AFL team Carlton and he said I can but it won't make any difference and he was right so
32:26but he did so yeah it's really good yeah it was great and again someone a giggle giggle at life
32:32and that's what he does so yeah and that's what I think we all should do as much as we
32:36can
32:37Dave Hughes it's been an honour to interview you today I appreciate that thank you so thank you
32:41James hi Dave I'm James hi James you are known for poking fun at yourself what's something about
32:51yourself other than your family of course that you are secretly proud of um
32:57um I would something pride is something I would try to avoid actually because it will lead to sorrow
33:07basically so it's like you know I was proud of having a successful radio career and then like
33:15I got sacked from my last radio job so I was like that's that pride is um something that you
33:21know ends
33:21up making you feel miserable but also pride means you're thinking about yourself and I read this study
33:27recently I didn't it said that the happiest people in the world are the people who think about themselves
33:32the least just imagine you didn't you didn't think about yourself for a second and you just looked
33:38around you go oh my god this is amazing what is this what are we doing here what is life
33:45and it was like it would be it's awesome well those are very wise words but I do think you
33:51have a lot to
33:52be proud of so thank you thank you thank you ciao oh is it okay um I speak for everyone
33:59here um we all have
34:01big dreams and not all of us will succeed um what advice would you give to those of us who
34:10don't make it
34:11thank you I'd say there's there is no making it there is no making it the new world order which
34:18is um
34:18taking the power minutes it's taking the power away but I mean I've done tv and radio in this country
34:24for many years and um but having a job on radio and tv involves executives uh saying that you're on
34:33but the podcasting and all that sort of social media now means that we all have an opportunity to do
34:39it and no one you don't need anyone to tell you that you've got a job you can do it
34:43yourself and so
34:45and you never know who's going to pop it could be anyone in this room could you know obviously you're
34:51already popping you're on bloody this show which is amazing but you never know it's so in a way it's
34:56very egalitarian as in anyone can get famous so if you've got something to say say it salas
35:06hello i'm salas hey mate uh how much money would it take for you to permanently walk away from
35:12comedy uh none i would never walk away from comedy for me the money is very secondary it's not it
35:21didn't
35:21used to be obviously i'd want to make a living as a comedian but it's the comedy itself is that
35:27it's the
35:28joy of laughter the joy of creating laughter is everything to me hand on heart give me 10 billion
35:37dollars i would say no if i had to stop comedy in my last day of life i'll be lying
35:43in probably a
35:43hospital room i'm hopefully my bedroom at home whatever wherever i am i'll know i'm about to die
35:50and i'll grab my phone so i've got one more funny bit to do
35:56because everything that goes wrong in my life is where i get my best material so
36:00on my dying day that's a good day for material
36:06pat hello hughesie i'm pat nice to meet you you too so you have made a living out of solving
36:13other people's problems would this make you a good world leader yeah look um yeah i don't have all the
36:20answers i'm used to getting criticized so that would that would get me into politics i would be able to
36:25survive probably with my attitude of dealing with criticism so dave hughes will pm or they
36:31use the pm yeah i don't look it's um yeah i don't think i i've never won a logie so
36:36it's pretty hard
36:36for me to i don't think i'd get enough votes to be honest funny actually there was one my son
36:42that's a funny thing my son um a little while back um we were in the car and he got
36:47a text message
36:48and he started laughing really hard and i'm like what is it he said my mate sent me a message
36:53there's a tick tock i've done a poll about the apparently about the five australian men with
36:58the lowest auras which i didn't know what that meant at the time for people who don't know having
37:04a low aura is bad means you're uncool and i'm like what's that got to do with me he said
37:12you're on the list
37:12i'm like what i said that's that's confronting i said he said don't worry you're not number one
37:19i said where am i he said number two
37:24yeah exactly wait then who is number one well exactly i said who's number one he said peter dutton so
37:30um
37:33so what i'm saying is i don't think i should go into politics
37:36well at least in politics you'd have more people laughing at you than ever well you'd hope so thank
37:43you thank you pat so thank you for the interview now uh before we go we have a little uh
37:49game we'd
37:49like to play with you so you had this show hughesie we have a problem so you must be very
37:55good at solving problems and uh we actually have some problems uh any chance you could help us with
38:02them i look yes there is there's a chance i'd love to help you the problem i'll go first i
38:08can't stop
38:09farting which is very embarrassing how should i stop it from happening look i look i also have that
38:16problem better an empty house than a bad tenant so that's what they say so so um my wife is
38:23not happy
38:23with it she i our house that we built we should have put more walls in i can be at
38:29one corner of the
38:30house and she's at the other corner upstairs like she's like 50 meters from me and i fart and she
38:36goes hurt it i'm like it's not my fault this house has terrible acoustics we should have put in more
38:43walls just concrete floors about you need carpet for your farting whoji i have a problem my mom has
38:52a best fashion in her wardrobe and she i keep seeing her clothes but but then she's taking them back
38:59how can i stay with them without her knowing well i think you're you don't need to change your mother
39:04needs to change her attitude oh i'm sorry mom i didn't know i'm sorry yeah my mom's here yeah but
39:15it's a
39:15compliment she should be happy that you you admire her fashion this is a what you're doing is complimenting
39:24her every time you wear her outfits you know you're like mom i believe in your fashion choices
39:29i believe in your taste come on mom oh god that was so bad i'm sorry mom i didn't mean
39:34no no i think
39:35i think we've helped both of you there hughesie i have a problem i mistakenly told my mom my vegan
39:43friends were vegetarian not vegan and she cooked a dinner with eggs and honey in it do i tell them
39:49or do
39:49i take my that secret to my grave i think look as a vegan you take it to your grave
39:54and um because
39:55i'm sure they enjoyed that food every now and again i just don't want to know you know i don't
40:04want to know eggs are great i miss eggs hughesie i have a problem people are always walking into me
40:12and my wheelchair while looking at their mobile phones when they're walking down the street
40:17and they think it's my fault what should i do um could you electrify you like well i do have
40:26i know
40:27it's electric it's got electric can you put some some electric fence around well i do have a horn which
40:34goes i love that that sounds like a they're very oblivious i would say run them over also
40:41don't worry i've run many people good and i think that yeah yeah i don't know in the world
40:47like they don't care no because they're hooked on their phone all right thanks so much for coming
40:52mate i'm a massive fan we all are it's been great having you thanks for coming to the assembly
40:56wood i thank you i have i'm hand on heart being honest here i've been on tv since uh since
41:09before
41:09the turn of the century which is like 25 six years this is the most fun i've ever had
41:22is it okay if we all get a photo with you yeah great all right good reset
41:26thank you so much it was great good questions loved it are you good with selfies yeah absolutely
41:34nice meeting you you see i had a good laugh
41:38big fan good on you man appreciate it it's a double n double n savannah no worries thank you
41:45i loved you on do not watch the show you were amazing oh thank you yeah that's um
41:48that's got some good feedback it's a really good interview it was a very good interview yeah
41:52let's go hughesie boy come on now hughesie
42:00i've always wondered how much do you get paid to do a show like this nothing today
42:09our next guest is a beloved australian singer she's been in eurovision jessica marboy jessica
42:22so keen today to find out all about the ins and outs of recording we are the assembly and she's
42:29very
42:30excited to meet her here she is acts normal what makes you anxious do you prefer life now or before
42:38fine what is the worst excuse they have ever made up just to stay home in your pajamas
42:47well that's a really good question
43:10well
43:11you
43:13you
43:13yeah
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