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The Miniature Wife S01E01-2 [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:05this is a love story love it's supposed to be patient and kind but let's be honest it's
00:00:16irrational it can make us crazy and sometimes downright insane I should know my husband made
00:00:25me small no it's not a metaphor he made me six inches tall I'm literally the size of a dry
00:00:42martini shaken stirred and nursing the burn of every sip even at our ugliest I still believe
00:00:53our loves worth fighting for but fair warning it's going to get worse before it gets better
00:01:04to us to us
00:01:13to recapturing magic to the journey not the destination it's a dr. Carmichael couples
00:01:20therapist extraordinaire to her words of wisdom it's speaking of the journey it was so bumpy
00:01:29yeah a few potholes yeah yeah checked into separate rooms um but I am working through my narcissistic
00:01:37tendencies and I am working on my accountability issues and here we are we made it got to the next
00:01:45stop dr. Carmichael's new year new us colon a grand gesture I'd like to go first okay great
00:02:01I've arranged to get the vermont gang back together at the gray house on new year's eve for our
00:02:06anniversary so we can renew our vows new year new us I'm speechless we were so happy there
00:02:20really really are Gary and Meg gonna be there they're giving up Cabo Lulu our daughter has
00:02:26not returned my call oh she's 18 she will they don't do phones always send a text okay okay my
00:02:31turn
00:02:31okay this will be the last Christmas that we spend in St. Louis because I have listed our house
00:02:40with the contingency to run it back from the bio through next December I am going to land this big
00:02:45fish and tomorrow I'm going to get Elvis Smith to bankroll the final stage of my life's work so
00:02:50that in one year Lindy we can move back to the gray house permanently like I promised years ago
00:02:57clean slate and a fresh start I supported you and you got your prize and all I ask is that
00:03:06for one
00:03:06more year you support me so I can get mine are you serious the listing went up today
00:03:19is this real very
00:03:25less
00:03:29I love you
00:03:42thank you thank you for inviting me back into our bed
00:04:09how does one solve the problem
00:04:11of feeding the world only less little John knows now what if we could take say an ear of corn
00:04:20and shrink it to a fraction of its original size just imagine a farmer could grow 10 a hundred a
00:04:28thousand ears of corn in the space it takes to grow one but how does cellular reduction work
00:04:36my revolutionary molecular transformation process fundamentally changes the distance between
00:04:41atoms oh the real question is can you restore the corn cob to regular size after it's been
00:04:47miniaturized not only can we do it we will do it together Hilton Smith we can make more with less
00:04:55and that's l e s I'll take it from here less okay
00:05:05now it's time to blow your minds
00:05:12call this the mini barn card no one calls it that okay it's just me see I grew up on
00:05:18a farm
00:05:19a rich river right
00:05:19sorry I get excited
00:05:22oh
00:05:23oh
00:05:24oh
00:05:25oh
00:05:29oh
00:05:36oh
00:05:37oh
00:05:37oh
00:05:39oh
00:05:39oh
00:05:40oh
00:05:41oh
00:05:41oh
00:05:42oh
00:05:47We call this the future.
00:06:03I am fucking amazed.
00:06:08It's a corner, it's a truck.
00:06:10Look how tiny it is.
00:06:11It's being tiny.
00:06:12That's incredible.
00:06:13I got you.
00:06:14You did.
00:06:14You really did.
00:06:15That's crazy.
00:06:17Well, it amazed me again.
00:06:19Make it big.
00:06:20I want to taste it.
00:06:23All that big corn takes a big investment.
00:06:25Oh, there he is.
00:06:26Money man chiming in.
00:06:28Go on.
00:06:29You know, Flavor Saver was a huge step forward.
00:06:33It was the first and the best GMO tomato on the market.
00:06:37But it was a failure.
00:06:38Well, no, it wasn't.
00:06:41It was a breakthrough, but it tasted like old band-aids.
00:06:44Admit it.
00:06:45No, I don't think I will.
00:06:48Admit it or I walk.
00:06:50No.
00:06:55Fuck yeah!
00:06:56You should never admit failure.
00:06:58I got you.
00:06:59Yes, you did, Hilton.
00:07:01But this agrotech is going to change the world.
00:07:05Jinx?
00:07:05And just think, this is only the beginning.
00:07:08This is only the beginning.
00:07:09Vivian.
00:07:10Hilton's chief scientist.
00:07:11I'm the guts.
00:07:12I just write the checks.
00:07:13She's...
00:07:14The brains.
00:07:14And my guts never make mistakes.
00:07:17I mean, I would write you a check right now.
00:07:21But for some reason, I'm just not feeling yummy in my tummy.
00:07:29You.
00:07:30Me?
00:07:31Who are you?
00:07:33Is this a true question?
00:07:34I don't know.
00:07:35Is it?
00:07:36Well, who are you?
00:07:38I'm awesome.
00:07:39I'm Hilton.
00:07:40Well, I'm awesome.
00:07:41I'm less.
00:07:44Yeah, I'm gonna need more.
00:07:52Yeah.
00:07:53You liked it?
00:07:54Yeah, I'm gonna lose my house.
00:08:13Hey.
00:08:14Hey.
00:08:16Uh, something quietly revealed itself to me.
00:08:20Oh?
00:08:21What's that?
00:08:21Maria's staff pick.
00:08:23My rainbow starts with black.
00:08:25It's a Pulitzer Prize winning novel.
00:08:27By the one, the only, Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
00:08:32That's a lifetime ago.
00:08:34Uh-uh.
00:08:35Eighteen years and still a fanfave?
00:08:37Listen, Richie.
00:08:39Um, we need to talk.
00:08:42Uh-oh.
00:08:43No.
00:08:44No.
00:08:44Yeah.
00:08:45No, we've just begun.
00:08:47Richie.
00:08:47Hold on.
00:08:48This is just the first act.
00:08:50Not turn this into a tragedy.
00:08:52Tragedy's a better story.
00:08:54Oh, I wish they had a section on how to repair an emotional affair.
00:08:59Listen, you really saw me when I needed it the most.
00:09:03I did.
00:09:04Yeah.
00:09:05And you really gave me that emotional intimacy that I craved, you know?
00:09:10Mm-hmm.
00:09:10You were a great shoulder.
00:09:12Mm-hmm.
00:09:13An ear.
00:09:14Mm-hmm.
00:09:14You're so handsome.
00:09:16Young.
00:09:17Smart.
00:09:18Don't stop it.
00:09:19And maybe in another life.
00:09:20But...
00:09:21But I fell in love.
00:09:24And you?
00:09:25I fell in Les.
00:09:27Hell yes.
00:09:28Yeah.
00:09:28Why?
00:09:29Les knows the real me.
00:09:32The worst of me.
00:09:33And he...
00:09:34He still loves me.
00:09:36I could love the worst of you.
00:09:37No.
00:09:38He has 20 years on you.
00:09:39And you've known me, like, a few months.
00:09:41Six and a half.
00:09:44Les...
00:09:45He made a grand gesture.
00:09:46And he promised me a fresh start.
00:09:49And I believe him.
00:09:51Why?
00:09:52No, no, no.
00:09:53Actually, don't say.
00:09:54Love should remain a mystery.
00:09:57My mom told me that.
00:09:59Okay.
00:10:01I'm gonna go.
00:10:01Just...
00:10:02Wait, wait, wait.
00:10:03This...
00:10:03Oh, God, no, no.
00:10:04I got you this Christmas present.
00:10:06Absolutely cannot accept this.
00:10:08You must.
00:10:08Or it means our love was in vain.
00:10:10Shh, shh, shh.
00:10:10Not love.
00:10:10Okay, okay, okay.
00:10:11Just open the card first.
00:10:13There is no need to thank me.
00:10:16Okay.
00:10:31Merry Christmas, my love!
00:10:33In anticipation of the new you, new you and new us, I thought this would be a great start.
00:10:39Open the present.
00:10:41I'll wait.
00:10:52I hate this rag.
00:10:53I know you hate this rag.
00:10:55I know you hate this rag.
00:10:55But I knew you'd never send it in yourself.
00:10:58Give it a quick read.
00:10:59See if you recognize it.
00:11:02Oh, Richie.
00:11:04No, no, no, no.
00:11:05What have you done?
00:11:06I pretend it to be your book agent.
00:11:08Your story is gonna be in the New Yorker.
00:11:12No.
00:11:13I didn't write this.
00:11:15I'm fucked.
00:11:16I know it's overwhelming.
00:11:18And I'm sure you don't-
00:11:19Oh, fuck!
00:11:20Richie!
00:11:22No, no, no!
00:11:23Oh, my fuck.
00:11:25Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit.
00:11:26Oh, bitch, pick up.
00:11:28Pick up.
00:11:28Hi, this is Terry.
00:11:29Leave a message.
00:11:30Terry!
00:11:31Oh, fuck.
00:11:32Okay.
00:11:32There is a story.
00:11:34There's a story in New York with my name on it.
00:11:36And I need you to call me back.
00:11:38This is an emergency.
00:11:39For serious this time, call me back.
00:11:41Oh, fuck.
00:11:44Fuck!
00:11:53Shut the door.
00:11:54Why?
00:11:55Because I want to raise my voice.
00:11:58Jesus jumping crackers.
00:12:00Why would you invite Hilton to your charity event at your home tonight?
00:12:05Because he wants to know who I am.
00:12:06But Lindy will be there.
00:12:08And?
00:12:08I'm sorry.
00:12:09Am I the only one that remembers last year?
00:12:11The silent auction?
00:12:13The pool incident?
00:12:14And you're still serving alcohol this year, right?
00:12:16Count me out.
00:12:17I'm sorry.
00:12:18I cannot watch.
00:12:21I don't think that my heart or my stomach can tolerate another interaction with him.
00:12:27But we are broke.
00:12:29And here's all we have.
00:12:31There are no more interested investors less with Hilton's kind of cash.
00:12:36You know what?
00:12:37Lindy and I are fine now.
00:12:38We're good, even.
00:12:39And we're renewing our vows.
00:12:41New year, new-
00:12:42New us!
00:12:42Yes!
00:12:43You said that last year.
00:12:44This year it's gonna stick.
00:12:45You sleeping in the same bed?
00:12:46Yes.
00:12:47Just sleeping?
00:12:48Sleeping plus.
00:12:50Big plus?
00:12:51Small plus.
00:12:52It'd feel so much better if it was big.
00:12:54We're on the road to big.
00:12:55I promise you.
00:12:55Um, okay.
00:12:58Lindy, it's me.
00:12:59It's me calling you.
00:13:01Um, I'm not panicking, but just call me back before the party, okay?
00:13:03It's not an emergency, but it's an emergency.
00:13:06Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:13:07So sorry, sir.
00:13:07Um, my, uh, my polyp is gone.
00:13:10Yeah, but there's a hole in my heart now.
00:13:12Sounds like a case for the Bard's Guard.
00:13:14So, I'll be unable to attend your party this evening.
00:13:17Our loss.
00:13:17Good luck, Richard.
00:13:42You're not Jackie.
00:13:43I'm Hill.
00:13:44Don't make me raise it.
00:13:45Who are you?
00:13:46I'm Professor Littlejohn, Jackie's professor.
00:13:48Did she leave for break already?
00:13:49Have I missed her?
00:13:50I hope not, because I'm her fucking ride.
00:13:52Jackie!
00:13:54Professor Littlejohn.
00:13:55Yeah, Lindy!
00:13:56You should call me Lindy.
00:13:57Oh, uh, hell, uh, Professor Littlejohn is the reason that I'm here.
00:14:02Oh, you wrote that book she loves.
00:14:04I didn't read it.
00:14:05No offense.
00:14:06None taken.
00:14:07Jackie, I'm so glad I caught you.
00:14:09Can we talk?
00:14:10Yeah.
00:14:11Just real quick.
00:14:12Oh, you mean without me?
00:14:13I do.
00:14:14Oh.
00:14:14Is it okay?
00:14:15Oh, yeah.
00:14:15A bit rude.
00:14:16No offense, but sure.
00:14:18Okay.
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:20Um.
00:14:23Have I done something wrong, Professor Littlejohn?
00:14:25Oh, no, no.
00:14:26Gosh, no.
00:14:27No, I have.
00:14:28I have.
00:14:30I, um, I need to tell you something.
00:14:33Uh.
00:14:37I loved your short story.
00:14:41Untitled on purpose.
00:14:42Yeah, that's the one.
00:14:42Yeah, I loved it.
00:14:44It was brilliant.
00:14:45Uh, the prose was incisive.
00:14:47Oh, just the voice.
00:14:48Fresh.
00:14:49Distinguished.
00:14:50Rare.
00:14:51One that deserves the attention of the New York literati.
00:14:55Wow.
00:14:57I mean, that means the world to me, Professor Littlejohn.
00:15:01It's almost Christmas and you're at my door complimenting my work.
00:15:03I, oh my gosh, I couldn't ask for a better guess.
00:15:05Okay, listen to me.
00:15:06Listen to me.
00:15:07Yes.
00:15:07You need to turn it into a novel.
00:15:09Right.
00:15:10Now.
00:15:12Now.
00:15:13Really?
00:15:14Really now.
00:15:15Mm-hmm.
00:15:15Um.
00:15:16I guess I could get started over the break.
00:15:19No, you need to take next semester off.
00:15:20And just write.
00:15:21The whole semester.
00:15:24The whole semester.
00:15:24You just want to isolate and write.
00:15:27While it's fresh.
00:15:28While it's here.
00:15:29While Untitled on Purpose is coursing through you, right?
00:15:32Yes, I feel it.
00:15:33Okay.
00:15:34So you need to isolate and write.
00:15:35Uh, no distractions.
00:15:36No internet.
00:15:37No novels.
00:15:38No magazines.
00:15:39No, uh, nothing.
00:15:41Nothing.
00:15:41Right?
00:15:41Nothing.
00:15:42And just all winter long, a very, a room of one's own.
00:15:45Right.
00:15:45Wolf it.
00:15:46Right.
00:15:46Wolf it.
00:15:47Could you do that?
00:15:48Yes.
00:15:48Well, how's dad?
00:15:49My Uncle Flippy has a cabin back in Montana that's super isolated.
00:15:54Oh.
00:15:54Walden Pond isolated.
00:15:55That's perfect.
00:15:56Right?
00:15:56Yes.
00:15:57Jackie.
00:15:57Yeah.
00:15:58This has the potential to be your...
00:16:02My rainbow starts with black?
00:16:04No.
00:16:05Professor Littlejohn, it, it couldn't.
00:16:07Jackie.
00:16:08I should know.
00:16:10My goal in life is to just write one, one great novel like you.
00:16:16That's okay.
00:16:17So we're agreed.
00:16:18You're gonna isolate and write.
00:16:20Yes.
00:16:20All semester.
00:16:21All semester.
00:16:22You're going to Montana.
00:16:23Yes.
00:16:24Remember, no magazines.
00:16:25Right?
00:16:25You don't want any?
00:16:26Uh-uh.
00:16:27Just turn off the internet.
00:16:29Okay?
00:16:29I will unplug completely.
00:16:31Yes.
00:16:32Okay.
00:16:33Hey, Merry Christmas.
00:16:34Merry Christmas.
00:16:35To you too.
00:16:48Oh!
00:17:00Terry!
00:17:01Thank.
00:17:01Christ!
00:17:02Okay, listen, I...
00:17:03You've got ten minutes.
00:17:05Blindsighting me with one shot.
00:17:06A short story published in the New Yorker over the last two decades gets you one.
00:17:09The fact that we've been friends for more than 20 years gets you another.
00:17:12And the other eight belong to Gillian Flynn.
00:17:14He continues to publish bestsellers, which bought me a classic six off the park.
00:17:19I didn't write the story.
00:17:20It's my students' work.
00:17:24My ex-emotional lover.
00:17:26Long story.
00:17:27Found the fucking story in my bag and thought it was mine.
00:17:30And I...
00:17:31Why would I correct him?
00:17:32You know?
00:17:33He sent it in...
00:17:35Without my knowledge on my behalf.
00:17:37Because he...
00:17:38Long story.
00:17:39Adored me and...
00:17:40Thought I was capable of writing something great again.
00:17:42I'm taking a sabbatical from Wash U.
00:17:44I'm headed to the Grey House.
00:17:46Les and I are gonna renew our vows.
00:17:48Long story.
00:17:49You're invited.
00:17:50I know you hate him.
00:17:51I did too.
00:17:52But...
00:17:53He has a good dad.
00:17:54And I'm committed...
00:17:56To committing to my marriage.
00:17:58So...
00:17:58I cannot handle...
00:18:00This shit storm right now.
00:18:02Which is sure...
00:18:03By the way...
00:18:03To tarnish your reputation as well.
00:18:05So if you wanna keep...
00:18:06That classic six...
00:18:07Then can you please...
00:18:10Please...
00:18:10Fix this fucking mess...
00:18:12So I can focus on my vows and my marriage like I promised.
00:18:15I hate you.
00:18:17I know.
00:18:18I hate me too!
00:18:21No, you're not allowed to thank me.
00:18:28Oliver!
00:18:47Less has been calling, I've been texting.
00:18:49And I have been busy.
00:18:50Less needs you on best behavior tonight.
00:18:53Hilton Smith is attending.
00:18:55Condescending as always, Starla.
00:18:57And who?
00:18:58Necessary.
00:18:59And he is a big investor.
00:19:00You know.
00:19:01I thought the cover was on the pool last year.
00:19:03Right?
00:19:03You know that.
00:19:04Great!
00:19:05You already picked up the first frame to me and I did.
00:19:06Yep.
00:19:07It's locked.
00:19:08I know.
00:19:10Is this another party protest?
00:19:11No.
00:19:12Hilton is here in five.
00:19:13Starla.
00:19:14Your dress is upstairs.
00:19:14I need you inside.
00:19:15Now.
00:19:16What dress?
00:19:17Less had me assess your wardrobe situation.
00:19:18And we both agreed that the only option was to outsource an upgrade.
00:19:22Insulting?
00:19:24And what if I hate it?
00:19:25Your futures are on the line.
00:19:27He said to me, quote,
00:19:29No new year, new us without new money.
00:19:31Unquote.
00:19:32So please, just move.
00:19:34Get out of the car.
00:19:36Now!
00:19:37Goodbye, Starla.
00:19:39I will have the valet physically remove you.
00:19:43I need a minute!
00:19:46One minute!
00:19:49You need a hulk out front?
00:19:51Stat!
00:20:19Come on.
00:20:20Tell me what Les is working on.
00:20:21This is the cover of Scientific American.
00:20:24He tells me nothing.
00:20:25Yes.
00:20:26Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:20:27And you never ask.
00:20:28Bullshit.
00:20:29I've printed that same quote from you ten times over the years.
00:20:32All I'll say is First World Fight Club.
00:20:35Lean.
00:20:36And outdated.
00:20:37Just like Scientific American.
00:20:49Vodka dry.
00:20:58Oh, thank you.
00:21:07Big Red has landed.
00:21:10Where's Lindy?
00:21:11I need eyes on Lady Tumando.
00:21:12Help him.
00:21:13Give me a 20 on Deep Pockets.
00:21:16Double negative.
00:21:17Big Red is not happy.
00:21:18I know amazing style when I see it.
00:21:21Ugh.
00:21:22This is a facade.
00:21:24Oh, well, the facade is working.
00:21:26Mm.
00:21:26I'm teetering on the precipice of being outed as a fraud.
00:21:31Which I probably deserve.
00:21:34I'm supposed to be the supportive wife.
00:21:37But, uh, my career going up in flames is banging around my brain.
00:21:42That's all I can hear.
00:21:43What does your husband think about that?
00:21:45Oh, he has no clue.
00:21:47He's a fraud, too.
00:21:49Is that so?
00:21:52Welcome, everyone.
00:21:54Uh, every year, um, I say I'm gonna keep it short and that this night is not about me.
00:22:00It's about the children.
00:22:01And tonight I'm actually gonna keep that promise.
00:22:04But, you know, let's be honest.
00:22:06Um, it has to be about me first.
00:22:08Because you're all here to bid on my stuff.
00:22:11Ha ha.
00:22:11Well, he's just playing the role of a charitable philanthropist.
00:22:17But all he really cares about is his life's work.
00:22:20First.
00:22:21Himself second.
00:22:22Our daughter third.
00:22:23Me last.
00:22:24Which I probably deserve.
00:22:26Well, just curious.
00:22:27What do you think about his life's work?
00:22:30And a very personal little ditty about Jack and Diane.
00:22:34My John Cougar Mellencamp Velcro wallet.
00:22:37With my high school ID still inside.
00:22:40Huh?
00:22:41Where else are you gonna get one of those?
00:22:43I can't tell you that.
00:22:46It's so top secret, actually.
00:22:48I have no idea what it is.
00:22:49Oh.
00:22:50Hold on a second.
00:22:50My top elf is really trying to tell me something.
00:22:53Maybe tomato on the brand of Deepak.
00:22:55His two drinks and third on deck.
00:22:57You're fucking joking, aren't you fucking fired?
00:22:59I'll turn on my headset.
00:23:02But I can tell you, he's brilliant.
00:23:08Don't tell him I said that.
00:23:10Yeah.
00:23:11I mean, I'm already last.
00:23:12You know, what's after last?
00:23:16Not much.
00:23:17So, yeah.
00:23:18Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
00:23:21And hopefully that covers it all.
00:23:24Okay.
00:23:26Plus?
00:23:27Five minutes.
00:23:27No.
00:23:28Two.
00:23:28One.
00:23:28Later.
00:23:29Maybe.
00:23:29Stop.
00:23:30Stop.
00:23:32I'm just explaining to this gentleman why there's no outdoor access this holiday season.
00:23:36So, as a joke, last year I put into the silent auction.
00:23:39As a joke, watch Almighty Les walk on water.
00:23:44I thought the cover was on the pool.
00:23:46Oh.
00:23:46It was hot.
00:23:47I'm so sorry.
00:23:48You get it.
00:23:48Hilton, I'm so sorry.
00:23:50I just want to say I'm so sorry.
00:23:51Well, I pay right now to see that.
00:23:53Awesome Les.
00:23:55If you can walk on water, you got my money.
00:23:58Are you being serious?
00:23:59No.
00:24:00No.
00:24:01Oh, great.
00:24:01So, I can still get the money?
00:24:04After the conversation with your wife, uh...
00:24:07I...
00:24:08I don't know.
00:24:09Hi, Hilton.
00:24:10I didn't know...
00:24:10Okay, Lindy.
00:24:11Why don't you just not say anything and maybe go and get us a lot of drinks?
00:24:16Okay.
00:24:16So, Hilton, I don't know what she said.
00:24:18Well, she said that you put work first, family third, and her did last.
00:24:22That's out of context.
00:24:24Well, what kind of man are you?
00:24:25I know.
00:24:26I just...
00:24:26I can't explain.
00:24:27I can't explain.
00:24:31You never explain anything.
00:24:33I got you.
00:24:34Again.
00:24:35Again.
00:24:36You suck at this.
00:24:37I do, I do, I do.
00:24:38So, just to be clear, Lindy didn't tank the deal.
00:24:41She closed it.
00:24:42Now she's awesome.
00:24:44Workaholics, they changed the world.
00:24:46I'm a workaholic.
00:24:47I should know.
00:24:49Thank you so much.
00:24:50Thank you so much.
00:24:51I want to go to work right away.
00:24:52Like, fuck the holidays.
00:24:53Yeah, I put it on my Christmas card every year.
00:24:55Yeah, you really see me.
00:24:57We both do.
00:24:58Oh, it's you again.
00:24:59Hilton's chief scientist.
00:25:00Oh, the brains.
00:25:02And the boots.
00:25:03The boots?
00:25:03The boots on the ground.
00:25:04What do the boots do?
00:25:05The boots ensure that my guts are never wrong.
00:25:09The boots are part of the deal.
00:25:11I'm all in.
00:25:13Are you?
00:25:13Awesome.
00:25:14Bless.
00:25:21Fine, just tell me.
00:25:23I'm melting down.
00:25:24Because I fucked the deal.
00:25:26No, I closed the deal.
00:25:27I closed the deal.
00:25:28Fantastic!
00:25:29No!
00:25:30What do you mean, no?
00:25:30That's so great.
00:25:32Oh my god, I was so worried.
00:25:34No, no.
00:25:34Now, I am saddled with one of Hilton's network of bio spies.
00:25:37His chief scientist is going to come in and she's going to take credit for my work.
00:25:42And all of this will have been for nothing.
00:25:44I will be nothing.
00:25:45My legacy will be nothing.
00:25:47I shall go to the grave without a Nobel.
00:25:49You know, this was my last chance at greatness.
00:25:53God.
00:25:54Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:25:57Hey.
00:26:00Come on, you remember Joan Ryan?
00:26:03Huh?
00:26:04Yeah, my nemesis at MIT.
00:26:06That's right.
00:26:07You were convinced that the PhD board was going to pick her over you.
00:26:12And you were going to be relegated to just a footnote in the science community or some other science bad
00:26:17thing, right?
00:26:17But what actually happened, Les?
00:26:21They chose me.
00:26:23They chose you.
00:26:25And where's Joan Ryan?
00:26:27Teaching at Berkeley.
00:26:31And where are you?
00:26:32In St. Louis.
00:26:33But why?
00:26:34Oh, uh, to give the finger to those ungrateful pricks at Monsanto.
00:26:39And to build the Menlo Park of the Midwest.
00:26:42And how?
00:26:43How?
00:26:43Because I am a partner in my own company creating the bio-agrotech that will change the world.
00:26:48That's right.
00:26:48Yeah.
00:26:49You're going to change the world.
00:26:52And you are.
00:26:54I've always believed that.
00:26:56Even when you hated me?
00:26:57Oh.
00:27:00Especially when I hated you.
00:27:02So what do I do?
00:27:04You do what you always do.
00:27:06You get back in the workshop.
00:27:09And you figure it out.
00:27:11That's what Les Littlejohn does.
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:14Right?
00:27:15Yeah.
00:27:16Right.
00:27:17Okay.
00:27:18Oh.
00:27:18Okay.
00:27:20That's it.
00:27:22That's it.
00:27:23Thank you, Lydia.
00:27:24Thank you for being so understanding.
00:27:26Oh, God.
00:27:29So now I've got to get back in the workshop.
00:27:31And let's move our renewing our vows to next year.
00:27:34That's a fantastic idea.
00:27:35Les?
00:27:36No, I didn't.
00:27:36What?
00:27:37Huh?
00:27:37That's what you said, right?
00:27:39Huh?
00:27:40Did I?
00:27:41Yeah.
00:27:42Gary and Meg.
00:27:43Oh, Gary and Meg would much prefer to go to Cabo.
00:27:45Let's send them something.
00:27:46Sign my name.
00:27:46No, no, no.
00:27:47That will be so humiliating.
00:27:48Don't worry.
00:27:49Don't worry.
00:27:49I'll tell Lulu that she can just go skiing with her friends like she wanted.
00:27:51So I'll see you when I see you.
00:27:53I'll be back when I'm back.
00:27:53And I love you.
00:27:55And I can't wait for New Year.
00:27:57New us.
00:27:57Next year.
00:27:58Muah!
00:28:08Is he fucking kidding me?!
00:28:28Lindy?
00:28:29Hi, Richie.
00:28:31Um.
00:28:33I made a mistake and I'm leaving Les.
00:28:36Tonight.
00:28:37I heard the emotion in your voice and it's beautiful.
00:28:40I've been hoping for a Christmas miracle.
00:28:42Yeah, I'm gonna go to Vermont.
00:28:43I'm gonna go to the Grey House.
00:28:45And I, um.
00:28:46Could you, could you come with me?
00:28:48Where you finished your masterpiece.
00:28:50I'd be honored to be invited.
00:28:52A gift beyond measure.
00:28:53Uh.
00:28:54I have ten vacation days and one personal day bag.
00:28:56And, oh.
00:28:57Heart emoji.
00:28:59Uh.
00:28:59Let's meet at Mandy's Diner at midnight.
00:29:02Heart emoji bag.
00:29:03I'll arrive with joy in my step and a light in my heart.
00:29:07Did you love my present?
00:29:08The fuck?
00:29:09Pardon?
00:29:10Yeah, I, I didn't have the heart to open it.
00:29:15So, um, I'll just bring it with me, okay?
00:29:18New year.
00:29:19New you.
00:29:19New us.
00:29:20Oh, is Vermont cold?
00:29:21I just-
00:29:43Everybody out in 30 minutes or Hulk is gonna see me smash.
00:29:49Iceberg ahead, 30 clicks.
00:29:50Abandon ship.
00:29:52Lady Tomato about to burst.
00:29:53Hey, hey, hey.
00:29:55Les promised me a minute.
00:29:59I'll give you 20.
00:30:17Excuse me?
00:30:19I thought the boots up my ass might start after the holidays.
00:30:23Martin signed the LOI ASAP and Hilton turned on the money hose in good faith.
00:30:27I didn't sign.
00:30:28I'm a partner.
00:30:29Apparently not the important one.
00:30:32Oh.
00:30:33Well, now I'm inspired and I would like you to leave.
00:30:37A genius needs his space.
00:30:39Exactly.
00:30:41And I plan on being inspired throughout the holidays.
00:30:44I know this is a difficult transition period.
00:30:46I'll give you tonight.
00:30:48But I will be back tomorrow.
00:30:52Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn.
00:30:57Fuck me.
00:30:59Here we go.
00:31:35Mils, I don't have time.
00:31:39She what?
00:32:02You're old.
00:32:03Text me.
00:32:09Fuck you, too.
00:32:14Starla?
00:32:22Starla?
00:32:25Les?
00:32:25Freezers, off limits.
00:32:26From now on, till I say.
00:32:28I need to regroup.
00:32:29Where are you going?
00:32:31I'm leaving you.
00:32:33If anyone should be leaving anyone, I should be leaving you.
00:32:35How's that?
00:32:36For trying to sabotage my career?
00:32:38Think I don't know?
00:32:38You don't think Nils would call me for comment, Lindy?
00:32:41Scientific American, not TMZ.
00:32:44I'm a hoax.
00:32:45You know what?
00:32:45I'm threatened by a female scientist taking credit for my work.
00:32:48You mentioned Joan.
00:32:50I'm not a misogynist.
00:32:52I'm not intentionally.
00:32:53Oh?
00:32:54If anything, I'm an accidental misogynist.
00:32:55And I, too, blame the patriarchy for that.
00:32:57I never said misogynist.
00:32:59Why would you do this?
00:32:59Why?
00:33:00You know why.
00:33:02Is it about Gary and Meg?
00:33:04This is about you and our marriage and breaking the promise of step three, colon, a grand gesture
00:33:11and our daughter who hates me sucking the life out of me and my promising writing career.
00:33:17Career?
00:33:18Stop.
00:33:19It was one book in the early aughts.
00:33:22This is what you did.
00:33:22You basically, you turned in a book report on your fucked up family, you changed the
00:33:27names, you added a little bit of wry sarcasm, and then you called it fiction, and you got
00:33:31lucky.
00:33:32My rainbow starts with black.
00:33:34No shit.
00:33:35My book report and the subsequent Oscar-nominated film it's based on bought and paid for this
00:33:43extravagantly sad McMansion in this podunk red state town you forced us to move to so
00:33:49that you could try to be something other than Mr. Fucking Tomato Head.
00:33:53This is the last thing I need right now.
00:33:55Oh my God.
00:33:56I'm so sorry.
00:33:57What is it you need right now?
00:33:59I need you.
00:34:00Yeah.
00:34:00I need your support.
00:34:02This is my last chance.
00:34:04You already got your prize.
00:34:06And, in case you forgot, I was by your side for every fucking sentence.
00:34:12Every book signing, every interview, I held your purse, I held my tongue, you know, I was
00:34:18there for the ride.
00:34:18And it wasn't always pleasant.
00:34:20You know, the rollercoaster of insecurity and emotion was frankly fucking exhausting.
00:34:24I have paid that debt.
00:34:26I have been by your side for 15 years.
00:34:29You had Flavor Saver and it was insufferable.
00:34:36Still is.
00:34:37But I didn't get my moment in the spotlight like you did.
00:34:40I didn't get my prize.
00:34:42Swing and a miss.
00:34:43How is it my fault?
00:34:46How?
00:34:47My apologies.
00:34:49Forgive me for being ambitious.
00:34:50Coasting by on a one-hit wonder isn't enough for me.
00:34:54Maybe you don't have another hit in you.
00:34:56Huh?
00:34:56Maybe you're one and done.
00:34:58Maybe your ego just won't let you read the room.
00:35:00I would rather be blinded by my ego than paralyzed by fear.
00:35:04That's me?
00:35:04That's what you think of me?
00:35:05Yeah, because you haven't produced one goddamn sentence in 15 years.
00:35:09What kind of magic do you think you're suddenly going to find in your beloved gray house, huh?
00:35:13With me by your side, like an emotional support animal, encouraging you, keeping you calm because,
00:35:18quote, I promise we'd return there one day, unquote.
00:35:21I mean, I am through being held emotionally hostage for your creative paralysis.
00:35:27And there it is, everyone.
00:35:30That's our show.
00:35:32Same line every time.
00:35:40This is the top secret thing you've been working on?
00:35:44Give me that.
00:35:45Give me that.
00:35:45A Tonka truck is not going to change the world, let alone agriculture as we know it.
00:35:51You have no idea what you're talking about.
00:35:52This is what you said to every female scientist that's never had a better idea.
00:35:55You know, most men overcompensate with a big truck.
00:35:59It's nice to see yours to scale.
00:36:07What a gentleman!
00:36:08Oh, fuck.
00:36:10What?
00:36:11Oh, no, Lindy.
00:36:12What the?
00:36:14What you're doing?
00:36:19Oh, no.
00:36:31Oh, God, is she dead?
00:36:40Lindy, say something.
00:36:42Are you alive?
00:36:44Oh, you're alive!
00:36:48Fuck no!
00:36:49Fuck you!
00:36:51Fuck you!
00:36:53Fuck you!
00:36:56Fuck you!
00:36:59Fuck you!
00:37:07Merry Christmas, I don't want to bow to now.
00:37:27Last...
00:37:31Oh, fuck...
00:37:33Oh, fuck...
00:37:34Oh, fuck...
00:37:36What's inside of me, is that...
00:37:41Oh, shit...
00:37:59How much did I drink last night?
00:38:03Plus...
00:38:04Plus...
00:38:07Why would you put the plaid back up?
00:38:10God, it's my eyes...
00:38:14And my head...
00:38:19Oh, I'll try to get where he starts today...
00:38:25Oh...
00:38:27Oh, wow, that really cleaned up...
00:38:32Less...
00:38:33Less...
00:38:38Who's at the door?
00:38:50What is this nonsense?
00:38:54What is this nonsense?
00:39:16Wendy!
00:39:17Wendy!
00:39:17Wendy!
00:39:18Oh, no!
00:39:19Oh, no!
00:39:20Okay, I'm opening up the dollhouse!
00:39:23Stop screaming at me!
00:39:46There you are!
00:39:49You're okay!
00:39:53I am not okay!
00:39:57Can you hear me? I am not okay!
00:40:05I am not okay!
00:40:08It works! I can hear you!
00:40:10You're too loud!
00:40:12Sorry!
00:40:13Well now I can't hear you!
00:40:15How about now?
00:40:16No, too loud!
00:40:19Softer!
00:40:20Better!
00:40:22I hate this fucking thing!
00:40:27Can you hear me now?
00:40:29Say again?
00:40:30Can you hear me now?
00:40:31Yes!
00:40:33Sorry! Sorry! I'm so sorry!
00:40:35Are you okay?
00:40:36I'm fine!
00:40:37I think we got it!
00:40:41Hi!
00:40:42What the fuck, Wes!
00:40:44I heard that too!
00:40:45Loud and clear!
00:40:47Okay!
00:40:48I'm so sorry!
00:40:48It was an accident!
00:40:50And uh...
00:40:51I can't believe it even happened!
00:40:53But you're incredible!
00:40:55I mean...
00:40:56You're beautiful!
00:40:59You're beautiful!
00:41:01Are you smiling right now?!
00:41:04No! No, no!
00:41:05No, of course not!
00:41:06I just...
00:41:08I...
00:41:08Just like...
00:41:10Wow!
00:41:11Wow!
00:41:13Wow!
00:41:13Wow!
00:41:14No, I apologize!
00:41:16You're my wife!
00:41:16You're not...
00:41:17Experimentally!
00:41:18I should hope so!
00:41:20Jesus!
00:41:21Oh my god!
00:41:22This is your job?!
00:41:24This how you're gonna solve world hunger?!
00:41:26You're gonna make everybody tiny so...
00:41:29So they don't what?
00:41:30Eat more?!
00:41:30I don't...
00:41:31Uh...
00:41:31Do you...
00:41:31Do you want me to answer that?
00:41:33Or...
00:41:34Explain it to me!
00:41:36Well, um...
00:41:37It's called cellular reduction.
00:41:40And um...
00:41:41It's the process of miniaturization and restoration of organic fruit and vegetables.
00:41:46And that's how I plan to solve world hunger.
00:41:50Explain how you're gonna make me big again!
00:41:52Jesus!
00:41:53I don't give a shit how it works!
00:41:55Oh, right.
00:41:55Well, I just reversed the process.
00:41:57That's the restoration part.
00:41:59Great!
00:42:01Restore me!
00:42:03Now, please!
00:42:04I can do that!
00:42:06Um...
00:42:06Uh...
00:42:06But first...
00:42:07Uh...
00:42:07A surprise!
00:42:09Meet me in the dining room.
00:42:14Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:42:16Les, do I look merry or hungry?
00:42:19Well, it's kinda hard to tell from this distance, um...
00:42:22I'm not!
00:42:23Make me big again, now!
00:42:25I heard that.
00:42:26Loud and clear.
00:42:28Um...
00:42:28The thing is...
00:42:29Tell me you can make me big again, Les!
00:42:32I can.
00:42:32And I will.
00:42:33Um...
00:42:33The thing is...
00:42:34That it's just...
00:42:35I think it's just gonna take a day...
00:42:37Uh...
00:42:38Or two.
00:42:38Tops.
00:42:39But...
00:42:40You'll be fine.
00:42:41Everything's gonna be okay.
00:42:42You're healthy.
00:42:42I checked your vitals.
00:42:44Wait!
00:42:44I could die?!
00:42:45Tiny?!
00:42:46No, you...
00:42:47You're not gonna die, Tiny.
00:42:50You'll be safe in the dollhouse.
00:42:52Because it's almost exactly the same as our house house.
00:42:56Um...
00:42:57The stove works.
00:42:58The refrigerator works.
00:42:59There's food.
00:43:00The water runs.
00:43:02And...
00:43:02I shrunk a few of your favorite things to really make you feel at home home.
00:43:06Your clothes.
00:43:08From your closet.
00:43:11Um...
00:43:11And uh...
00:43:12This curling thing.
00:43:16And your hairbrush.
00:43:19Uh...
00:43:20Cold cream.
00:43:21Looked important.
00:43:22Oh!
00:43:23And I remembered your coffee.
00:43:24And the coffee maker.
00:43:25Worked perfectly, right?
00:43:27Oh!
00:43:27One crucial thing.
00:43:28Um...
00:43:28The toilet.
00:43:29Uh...
00:43:30It works.
00:43:30I figured it out.
00:43:31Just don't ever look in the hall closet.
00:43:33Downstairs.
00:43:34Ever.
00:43:35You will be restored to regular size.
00:43:37I-I promise it.
00:43:38This is just temporary, Lindy.
00:43:39I am so close.
00:43:41Truly.
00:43:42Now it's so close?!
00:43:45Not a day!
00:43:46Or two!
00:43:47Tops!
00:43:48Less!
00:43:49You motherfuckers!
00:43:52Hey.
00:43:54Calm.
00:43:54Calm down.
00:43:57Calm fucking down!
00:44:01What?
00:44:08Boy!
00:44:15Do I need a minute!
00:44:25I don't wanna be little!
00:44:27Oh, he's been away.
00:44:43You can refilm the Lady's Cup, too.
00:44:47She's on her way, boy.
00:44:49She's gone back to her husband.
00:44:50No.
00:44:51They always do.
00:44:52Not this time.
00:44:53Because we've got plans.
00:44:55Yep.
00:44:56We've got concrete plans.
00:45:01How about a 10-day getaway to Vermont for two?
00:45:07Uber romantic.
00:45:15There are multiple reasons she could be late.
00:45:17No, I know Lindy's coming.
00:45:19Why, you may ask?
00:45:20Because our love story is woven into the fabric of time, destined to be written, immortalized for generations to come.
00:45:32Quiet, everybody, please.
00:45:34Quiet, please!
00:45:36Sorry.
00:45:37Oh.
00:45:39It's work.
00:45:39It's work.
00:45:42Hey, Martin.
00:45:44Well, I was going to head out of town, so...
00:45:48No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:45:49Of course, of course.
00:45:50I'll just head into the lab.
00:45:55No, I've not heard from us.
00:45:58Wait, what do you mean you can't get a hold of him?
00:46:01Yeah, okay, bye.
00:46:03Does this mean your romantic getaway is canceled?
00:46:07Bart, can I be honest?
00:46:08I love your service, but I don't love the negative energy.
00:46:15He's suffering.
00:46:21Take those off.
00:46:22I feel like a specimen.
00:46:24And come closer.
00:46:25I don't want to keep yelling.
00:46:30Jesus, the 96?
00:46:32If there was ever a time.
00:46:34I know why you didn't tell me about your work.
00:46:37Well, I couldn't.
00:46:38It was top secret.
00:46:39I signed an ironclad NDA.
00:46:41It's bullshit.
00:46:43You didn't trust me.
00:46:44Which makes me so sad.
00:46:48Makes me so sad.
00:46:51Fuck you.
00:46:53But...
00:46:54Yeah.
00:46:59Well, I didn't exactly hide it from you either.
00:47:02What?
00:47:04Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:07They are so cute!
00:47:11Wait.
00:47:12And legible?
00:47:13Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:17They're so cute.
00:47:19Oh, and functional.
00:47:21Happy birthday, Lindy.
00:47:24How cute.
00:47:26And accurate.
00:47:28The dent from when I side-swiped the mailbox.
00:47:33Never put it together.
00:47:34You also said you didn't want to know.
00:47:39Well, you're not leaving me.
00:47:41Well, I have to go so I can fix you.
00:47:43No, no, no.
00:47:43No, Les.
00:47:45Take me with you.
00:47:46I'm portable.
00:47:47You will be safer here in the dollhouse.
00:47:48I feel very not safe.
00:47:50I feel very small.
00:47:51And like something bad could happen.
00:47:53I won't let something happen.
00:47:55Something did.
00:47:56Something else.
00:47:57Beyond the accident.
00:47:59But I have to go to the lab so I can fix you.
00:48:01Please, Les.
00:48:02I do not want to be alone.
00:48:03Please, I'm scared.
00:48:04Well, what if I can show you that, um, being small isn't scary?
00:48:09Oh, God.
00:48:10I've always wondered what the world would look like if I were six inches tall.
00:48:13Not me.
00:48:15I can show you.
00:48:16No, I, I don't.
00:48:18Aren't you just a little bit curious?
00:48:20I will be restored to regular size soon.
00:48:24I promise.
00:48:25Trust me.
00:48:29Okay.
00:48:31This is crazy.
00:48:34Oh, my.
00:48:43Oh, my.
00:49:10I mean, everything's really big.
00:49:13Really.
00:49:28Wow.
00:49:29I can only imagine how different everything looks, right?
00:49:33You see this dust ball?
00:49:36Do you think I could choke on this?
00:49:39Oh.
00:49:40Yeah, put that down.
00:49:44Hello, Dolores.
00:49:45Look who it is.
00:49:47See?
00:49:48She's not that scary.
00:49:49Why is she looking at me like that?
00:49:51Oh, oh, it's puffing.
00:49:53Do you see what it's doing?
00:49:55No, no, no.
00:49:56It's trying to eat me.
00:49:57No, this is not interesting to me.
00:49:59Can you put me down, please?
00:50:00Put me down.
00:50:14It's fun, right?
00:50:16We all love a train ride.
00:50:18Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:20Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:27Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:39Merry Christmas to me.
00:50:45Merry Christmas, Lindy.
00:50:49Maybe too many times around?
00:50:51I want to get off!
00:50:53I don't like it.
00:50:55Oh, I'm going to be sick.
00:50:59Oh, God.
00:51:01Oh.
00:51:03Oh, my God.
00:51:05Hey.
00:51:07It's going to be okay.
00:51:09I'm so sorry this happened.
00:51:12So incredibly sorry.
00:51:16Oh.
00:51:24Water truck ran out of shrinking gas.
00:51:26I'm going to go to the lab to refuel.
00:51:28What am I supposed to do with this?
00:51:29I thought I could crush it up and you could maybe snort it, but I don't know.
00:51:34Um, Scarface?
00:51:35I'll just gnaw on it or something.
00:51:41How are you feeling?
00:51:43Really?
00:51:44I mean...
00:51:45I know what you mean.
00:51:47Better.
00:51:50I did always love this couch.
00:52:05When you're ready.
00:52:07Uh, pour away.
00:52:13Don't be shy.
00:52:15So, this is my, uh, tiny little life now?
00:52:21Temporary tiny life.
00:52:23How long again?
00:52:24A day.
00:52:25Two at the most.
00:52:26I'm so close.
00:52:27So close.
00:52:28Yeah.
00:52:29Yeah.
00:52:34Did you microwave this off the floor?
00:52:36Floor is clean.
00:52:37You're the first person to ever walk on it.
00:52:40Six inch tall Neil fucking Armstrong?
00:52:42Kind of.
00:52:51Unless you put parmesan in the potatoes.
00:52:54Potatoes a la Diane.
00:52:57With a twist.
00:52:59Who?
00:53:00Reese Witherspoon from Legally Blonde.
00:53:02She's gonna play me in the movie.
00:53:04She's gonna play the sister character.
00:53:06I still don't know who that is.
00:53:07Walt?
00:53:08She's blonde, wears pink, goes to Harvard.
00:53:11That's a stretch.
00:53:12What?
00:53:13I am blonde.
00:53:14Les said that we could be twins.
00:53:16I'm sure he's just being kind.
00:53:18No, no, I think with the right hair and makeup, you know Hollywood, I mean...
00:53:21It's beyond me why they're even adapting a book into a film.
00:53:23Because it sold a million copies, because it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:28Hollywood must be out of ideas.
00:53:31You're not excited?
00:53:32Uh, Laura Dern is playing the mother.
00:53:34I adore Laura Dern, but I question her judgment.
00:53:38The book wasn't well received.
00:53:39I repeat, it won the Pulitzer.
00:53:41The Guardian dubbed it literary popcorn and added,
00:53:44that does not a Pulitzer make their words.
00:53:46Which she memorized and repeat constantly.
00:53:49I can barely show my face at Wine Club Wednesday
00:53:52without Carol turning her nose up at me as if I were the devil incarnate.
00:53:56Walt?
00:53:57Your mother needs your Wine Club Wednesdays.
00:53:59That's not a stretch.
00:54:01Mom.
00:54:02It's fiction.
00:54:03Carol didn't see a character.
00:54:05Carol saw me, and the me in your book is a monster.
00:54:09It's a comedy.
00:54:10It's a dark comedy.
00:54:11A coming-of-age story about a woman who felt abandoned
00:54:16and silenced by a monster of a mother character.
00:54:20You try being a single mother of two young girls
00:54:24whose husband walked out one day without a word.
00:54:27Walked out or was driven away?
00:54:29Jim abandoned me.
00:54:31No, he stopped being married to you.
00:54:33He abandoned me.
00:54:36Me too.
00:54:37And he's still the hero.
00:54:39I tried my best.
00:54:41Walt, if I may.
00:54:43Walt, Diane, have you tried the potatoes?
00:54:46I call them potatoes a la Diane with a twist.
00:54:50Is the twist a turn of the knife?
00:54:52It's Parmesan cheese.
00:54:53Try it.
00:55:00It's too rich, but absolutely divine.
00:55:03Just like you.
00:55:09Walt.
00:55:10I'm sorry.
00:55:11I think we should visit the arch tomorrow.
00:55:13I hear it's dreadful.
00:55:16Yes.
00:55:17Yes.
00:55:17No, I don't get the arch.
00:55:19It's like an arch for what?
00:55:21It's the gateway to the west.
00:55:24I think it's great.
00:55:25I can barely show my face on wine club Wednesdays.
00:55:30Hollywood has run out of ideas.
00:55:32I think Laura Dern is very generous casting.
00:55:34I have to say hello.
00:55:40What's going on?
00:55:41Do you want to have sex?
00:55:42Oh, yes.
00:55:43Yes, we're here.
00:55:45We'll be quiet.
00:55:46We'll be fine.
00:55:46Oh, you're set to high volume.
00:55:50Watch.
00:55:51Watch, watch, watch.
00:55:51Watch, watch, watch.
00:55:53Watch, watch.
00:55:55Okay, good.
00:55:56Goodbye.
00:56:10They're defending me.
00:56:12Oh, the boys will not.
00:56:13Oh, the boys will not.
00:56:16Oh, the boys will not.
00:56:21Oh, my God.
00:56:23Oh, my God.
00:56:25Oh, my God.
00:56:25Oh, my God.
00:56:26Oh, my God.
00:56:26Jesus.
00:56:26Whoa.
00:56:27Can I help you?
00:56:29Obviously, this isn't the washroom.
00:56:31It's down the hall with the light on.
00:56:32The one with the toilet.
00:56:34I can see the light.
00:56:36I lost the toilet.
00:56:41He's trying to escape.
00:56:45We're to the arch.
00:56:48Oh, my God.
00:56:50Oh, fuck.
00:56:51Okay, okay.
00:56:53Maybe I can't be quiet.
00:56:55I don't think you can.
00:56:58Hey.
00:57:03I'm not really like her, though, right?
00:57:06My mother...
00:57:07I'm not like Diane, am I?
00:57:09Does that make me Walt?
00:57:12Seriously?
00:57:13Seriously?
00:57:14Seriously?
00:57:14Seriously?
00:57:16No.
00:57:17Fuck no.
00:57:18Because she's...
00:57:19No, she's unbelievable.
00:57:20And not in a good way.
00:57:24It's gonna be okay.
00:57:26It's only a few days.
00:57:31Only a few days.
00:57:37It's only a few days.
00:58:01It's only a few days.
00:58:10What?
00:58:11What?
00:58:12What?
00:58:13What?
00:58:14What?
00:58:14It can't be right.
00:58:18Okay, I'm coming in.
00:58:19Now.
00:58:21Now-ish.
00:58:22...
00:58:42...
00:58:45Magoo!
00:58:48Magoo!
00:58:49Magoo!
00:58:54No!
00:58:55No! No! No! No!
00:59:01Magoo!
00:59:01Come here!
00:59:05Ow! Fuck!
00:59:07You fuzzy fucker!
00:59:08Meow!
00:59:10Meow!
00:59:16Meow!
00:59:20Stop!
00:59:22Stop it! You're fine!
00:59:24I feel bad enough already.
00:59:28I mean, she's safe, right?
00:59:31Meow!
00:59:44Hey!
00:59:47Yes, Richard? What is it?
00:59:49Oh, you seem upset.
00:59:51No, Richard, I'm fine. I'm fine.
00:59:53You know, I sometimes come in my car to cry, too, when I need a release, so...
00:59:58I get where you're at.
01:00:00Okay, right? Is that all?
01:00:01Now you've got me worried.
01:00:02Is everything all right at home? You know, with your wife, Lindy?
01:00:06Lindy's her name, right?
01:00:07Yes, Richard, she's fine.
01:00:08Everything okay?
01:00:08Good, good.
01:00:09Yeah.
01:00:10She's just keeping busy over the holidays.
01:00:13Yes, Richard, she's at home writing.
01:00:15She's keeping busy.
01:00:16She's writing, writing.
01:00:18That's wonderful.
01:00:19That's wonderful.
01:00:20Richard!
01:00:20Get your butt inside!
01:00:22I'm sorry to use profanity.
01:00:24I'm upset.
01:00:28I'll see you later.
01:00:35I'll see you later.
01:00:38Les?
01:00:41Les?
01:00:47That is a toy.
01:00:51Oh.
01:00:53He left me?
01:00:55Right.
01:00:59I have to trust him.
01:01:02I cannot spiral.
01:01:05Huh?
01:01:07Oh.
01:01:08Yeah.
01:01:09Why not?
01:01:11Okay, that's...
01:01:12That's good.
01:01:14Space colon?
01:01:15Colon?
01:01:16Colonial.
01:01:19Kernel.
01:01:20Space kernel.
01:01:22Next stop, Uranus.
01:01:24I could...
01:01:25Fuck, I'm already spiraling.
01:01:28You made me believe you were so close.
01:01:30So I believed you.
01:01:32Yes, and you should believe me.
01:01:33That's our deal.
01:01:33There is mathematical truth in stating I am so close.
01:01:36So what does so close mean to you in this context today?
01:01:42I can't put an actual number on it.
01:01:44I don't know.
01:01:46What?
01:01:48What have you done?
01:01:49What have I done?
01:01:50Martin, I didn't want to say you have one job.
01:01:53Contract is for 30 days.
01:01:56That's insane!
01:01:57What?
01:01:57Well, you said that you were close!
01:01:59What?
01:01:5930 days?!
01:02:02Well, it will work.
01:02:03I mean, the math says it will and math is never wrong, so...
01:02:07Now you have 30 days!
01:02:08No, no, no.
01:02:09We have 30 days.
01:02:10Oh, now it's we.
01:02:11What does it say exactly?
01:02:12What does the small print say exactly?
01:02:13It says that we have 30 days to prove that the restoration formula works.
01:02:19Uh-huh.
01:02:20Or the patent on our tech...
01:02:22On my tech, thank you.
01:02:23...reverts to Hilton, and Hilton sues you.
01:02:26Sues us.
01:02:28For fraud.
01:02:29And you go to jail.
01:02:31To jail?
01:02:32Well, can he do that?
01:02:33He can.
01:02:34And after 30 days, it goes.
01:02:36The tech, the lab, the Bob's gone.
01:02:41But, but...
01:02:42Okay, so how do I make...
01:02:45Uh...
01:02:45How do I...
01:02:47How do I make things big again?
01:02:49Because I have to make things big again.
01:02:51Well, after 30 days, you can't.
01:02:56This is really actually silly.
01:02:59I mean, can he actually do this?
01:03:00Yes.
01:03:01He can.
01:03:02It says it right here.
01:03:04Oh.
01:03:06Less.
01:03:09How bad is this?
01:03:12Okay.
01:03:17I'm not even gonna ask about the cat.
01:03:31Hmm...
01:03:32Hmm.
01:03:35Um...
01:03:36Uh, hey.
01:03:37I, I, I got you something for Christmas.
01:03:39Oh!
01:03:40I, I, I didn't get you anything.
01:03:43Oh, that's all.
01:03:44That's okay.
01:03:45Oh, I didn't want you!
01:03:48like what Shakespeare used to write with you know like Shakespeare oh everybody
01:03:53knows you like Shakespeare bar's card well you talk about it a lot um you seem
01:04:01a little bit down no I'm just tired I was waiting up last night for someone
01:04:08someone special you know and it's just you know oh Merry Merry Christmas Richard oh thank you
01:04:17Janet this is a very thoughtful gift so thank you thy returneth to thine grind
01:04:36okay buddy
01:04:38thank you for moving her
01:04:49oh right okay
01:04:53oh that's good okay
01:05:01oh come on
01:05:07okay oh my god
01:05:10oh there we go
01:05:15guide
01:05:21oh a classic
01:05:24come
01:05:29volume
01:05:32we're never turning this off
01:05:34okay
01:05:36so
01:05:38we've got popcorn
01:05:41but no candy
01:05:47oh
01:05:48less
01:05:49that's just for me
01:05:59Richard
01:05:59I need everyone at the top of their game today it's a big day
01:06:02it could be the day
01:06:03needs to be the day
01:06:04or two
01:06:06at the most
01:06:11here are my thoughts
01:06:15adjust the last line on the Maxwell stress tensor to b sub j
01:06:19minus one half times the quantity of epsilon naught
01:06:23times e squared plus b squared over mu naught
01:06:27thoughts complete
01:06:28Bob
01:06:30implement its thoughts
01:06:36b sub j minus one half times the quantity of epsilon naught times e squared plus b squared
01:06:43over mu naught
01:06:44complete
01:06:46Carl implement its thoughts
01:07:00comfie
01:07:13comfie
01:07:15comfie
01:07:28Let's make history.
01:08:16Let's make history.
01:08:17Great attempt in the name of science.
01:08:19Richard?
01:08:20Bob, the explainer.
01:08:23Nominal success.
01:08:24Subject expanded to regular size for 2.1 seconds.
01:08:28Same as previous attempt.
01:08:31Molecular disequilibrium.
01:08:33Eraser Bob, see medic.
01:08:34Bring in Fred.
01:08:36Clean up an aisle everywhere.
01:08:38Richard?
01:08:39We're waiting on analysis to proceed.
01:08:41We'll adjust based on your thoughts.
01:08:43We'll go again.
01:08:45No, you won't.
01:08:46If this is your definition of close, we have a big problem.
01:08:50You working in a bubble with your staff and your secrets ends today.
01:08:54Moving forward, everything that happens in this lab will be authorized by me.
01:08:59No.
01:09:00No, no, no.
01:09:01No.
01:09:03This is not how we work here.
01:09:05We are making history.
01:09:06Okay?
01:09:07That corn was regular size.
01:09:10It's incredible.
01:09:11As a scientist, how can you not see that?
01:09:13Reports, equipment, results, any spending whatsoever, everything you use must be logged up to and including packets of instant oatmeal
01:09:20in the break room.
01:09:21Can I explain my fiber deficiency?
01:09:24Okay, everybody, everybody.
01:09:25This is Virginia.
01:09:26Vivian.
01:09:27Vivian.
01:09:27I don't know her last name, but she's new here and she doesn't know how things work.
01:09:31And Bob, you don't need to worry about your oatmeal.
01:09:33Okay?
01:09:33Can we just talk about this?
01:09:36Martin, you know exactly how much money this science circus is hemorrhaging.
01:09:40I don't care about the money.
01:09:41Of course you don't.
01:09:42You spent seven years and several hundred thousand dollars designing your logo.
01:09:48I had to open the books.
01:09:49Well, it had to be perfect.
01:09:51What?
01:09:52Irresponsible and deeply sad.
01:09:54Dr. Littlejohn, it's no longer your money.
01:09:56It's Hilton Smith's money.
01:09:57This is his lab now and I run Hilton's lab.
01:10:00Ergo, I run this lab.
01:10:02This is unacceptable.
01:10:03And it's ridiculous.
01:10:05And do, do something.
01:10:08Okay, no we, no we, just me.
01:10:10I want to talk to Hilton right now.
01:10:13Well, good luck reaching him.
01:10:15He's spending the holidays piloting an experimental submersible off the coast of Guam.
01:10:20Guam?
01:10:21Guam?
01:10:22What?
01:10:23Shut it down.
01:10:24We'll try again tomorrow.
01:10:26Together.
01:10:27These ladders are an OSHA violation.
01:10:30You're an OSHA violation!
01:10:33Dear hairy Jesus!
01:10:35I hope Hilton gets crushed into ketchup by 400 atmospheres of pressure!
01:10:4029 days.
01:10:41Not helpful.
01:10:42Not!
01:10:43The point!
01:10:51What have I done?
01:10:59Midnight for the stars and dew.
01:11:06Midnight and a rendezvous.
01:11:11Your eyes held a message tender, saying I surrender all my life for you.
01:11:22It's my phone.
01:11:25My phone!
01:11:26Oh!
01:11:27Oh!
01:11:30Oh!
01:11:31Coming!
01:11:32What?
01:11:43No!
01:11:45No!
01:11:47No!
01:11:49No!
01:11:53No!
01:11:54No!
01:11:55No!
01:11:57No!
01:12:01No!
01:12:04No!
01:12:04Did you just say something?
01:12:12Am I losing my mind?
01:12:19I can see me in you.
01:12:26What?
01:12:28Ah!
01:12:29What is that?!
01:12:30Oh!
01:12:31Oh!
01:12:32Oh!
01:12:33Oh, fuck!
01:12:34Oh!
01:12:36Oh!
01:12:37Oh!
01:12:38Oh!
01:12:38Oh!
01:12:38Oh!
01:12:38Oh!
01:12:45Oh!
01:12:46Ah!
01:12:48Oh!
01:12:51Ah!
01:12:52Jesus!
01:12:54Fuck!
01:12:55Goddammit, let!
01:12:58For fuck's sake.
01:13:01Ah!
01:13:03God!
01:13:04Dang it!
01:13:06Oh!
01:13:07Oh!
01:13:07Oh!
01:13:08Oh!
01:13:08Fuck!
01:13:08Oh!
01:13:09Oh, my God.
01:13:46Oh
01:14:13Oh
01:14:15Oh
01:14:15Oh
01:14:15Oh
01:14:16What the
01:14:18Oh
01:14:20Oh
01:14:22Oh God
01:14:24Oh
01:14:32Looky
01:14:34Hold on
01:14:35I'll save you
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