00:00I am not my body, I am not my spirit, I am the being.
00:36This is it Ben, remember, you are the only one who makes these decisions, it is not me, it is
00:45not a bridge, it is you, it is your Ben.
01:16It is your Ben.
02:25Dr. Sokol, please leave a message and I will call you back.
02:29Thanks.
02:30Dr. Sokol, this is Ben Rubin.
02:34Dr. Martin gave me your number.
02:37He said that you're an expert on phobias.
02:40You might be able to help me with this.
02:42This, uh, germaphobia.
02:45I can't drag this any longer.
02:49I have to cross that bridge.
02:55We'll see, Mr. Rubin.
02:57We'll see.
02:58You know, my grandfather, he was a soldier like you.
03:05Not a pilot, though.
03:09He died, uh, he was a Polish artillery officer and he died in Berlin 9th of May 1945.
03:21The last day of the war.
03:23And, uh, I could remember him only by this photo.
03:29You said that this started with your wife.
03:32How did you meet her?
03:33I met Anya on the bridge.
03:53I was waiting for the bus to go to a party at a friend's place downtown.
04:24We exchanged several looks.
04:28I was waiting for the bus while going.
04:29I had to send my home.
04:32I was waiting for the bus to take a look at, uh.
04:43ŃŠŗŠ¾Ń hope for me.
04:51I was waiting for the bus.
05:05She walked in front of me.
05:14She must have thought I was following her.
05:31We are all alone.
05:38She was the only one who had loved one.
05:39Herpina was taken in front of me.
05:43It was a very difficult time to use.
05:53Turns out we were going to the same party.
06:23From the beginning, our conversation was so fluent, like I've known her all my days.
06:29There wasn't any single moment of that awkward silence.
06:38I am not my mind.
06:40She had an accent if she was a...
06:43I'm not my body.
06:48She told me that she was originally from Belgrade
06:52and that she moved here with her parents and her brother when she was seven.
06:58My brother went back there with wife and kids.
07:01She said with that big smile on her face.
07:05From that instant on, every moment in my life was about her.
07:17It took us only a few months to move in together.
07:20After a year, we were married.
07:23She was three months pregnant.
07:24She was three months pregnant.
07:25The son of a...
07:38She was four months pregnant.
07:41The son of a...
07:49We were married too.
07:57then everything started to fall apart I suppose destiny or something interfered
08:06like never before in my life it was the Balkans doctor the Balkans the situation
08:15became extremely intense it was only a matter of time before it all exploded
08:20the bombing of Serbia was imminent my squadron in Italy and called me
08:32yeah but what was her reaction she begged me she begged me not to go she said I'd be dropping
08:41bombs on her brother and her family and her relatives she begged me not to go for the
08:48love of our baby I told her that I'm doing my my job it was my duty there's nothing I
08:57can do about it
09:19I told her that I love her our baby I always will and nothing will ever change that
09:33so I went to the war
09:43so
09:49so
11:54Missions took place mostly at night time.
11:58I felt better.
12:03I felt better knowing that no one would see me and that I wouldn't be punished for what
12:10we were doing.
12:14We flew at high altitudes undetected by their radars.
12:30We started to knock off the bridges one by one.
12:35We took place, but we didn't have to do it.
12:39I got to do it.
12:43I got to do it.
12:45I got to do it.
12:53I got to do it.
12:56I got to do it.
13:38Yes, Ben?
13:41One day we had a daytime mission.
13:43Ben?
13:45Disaster.
13:46We were to take out this railroad bridge.
13:52During the first raid, my weapons officer failed to take out the bridge in the first run.
14:04And as we were turning around to make another hit, something terrible happened.
14:10I saw a train approaching it.
14:14I asked my weapons officer and myself, I said, we couldn't do this.
14:22I couldn't do it.
14:26The command came again.
14:28Go for it.
14:31Go for it.
14:35Before I could do anything, before I could turn the plane up, the weapons officer took
14:40the bridge out.
14:43It happened to be a civilian train after all.
14:48Killing 50 people.
14:5150 people?
14:53Civilians.
14:54And I've had said about my own purpose.
15:05Be alright.
15:10Is gone
18:05I was just about to lift him up.
18:20Next thing I remember, I'm in a military hospital.
18:25What happened then?
18:28Well, they never sent me back into action.
18:31Three or four weeks of hospitalization.
18:36I went back home.
18:38When I was home, I couldn't bear to watch a film, a magazine, the TV, anything about
18:46a bridge.
18:50Nothing.
18:56When I would see something, I'd start to sweat, shake.
19:06Loss of breath.
19:09I was losing control.
19:12I feel like I've lost control.
19:16So you quit the army?
19:18Yeah.
19:21And you came back home, gone yet?
19:24I couldn't find her.
19:26I couldn't find her anywhere.
19:29I asked neighbors, friends.
19:35I asked her parents.
19:37They chased me away.
19:43Dr. Sokol, I was going crazy.
19:46I was going crazy.
19:48I was going crazy.
19:53I decided to go to Belgrade.
19:55Dr. Sokol, I found neither Anya nor anything.
20:01But I saw something else.
20:19My stomach turned upside down.
20:29I don't know how I endured the view.
20:44I don't know how I endured the view.
20:48Sokol, I unhappy.
21:03Sokol, I was going crazy.
21:09And I died.
21:43That's all. That's all there is. My life is ruined. I can't cross a bridge. And worst
21:55of all, my Anya. I can't find her. She's my love. I made a terrible mistake, doctor. I
22:10should never have gone into that war. She'd never have gone into that war. I should have
22:26listened to her. Dr. Sokol, I need your help.
22:38There is so many ways to help her. But it will take some time. And meantime, we have
22:48to do with other issues. You know? And I suggest that we do first hypnosis and we will do visualization.
22:58And then we can actually cross the bridge. With the hypnosis, you don't actually have
23:05to do anything. You just have to relax and everything will work by itself. With instructions
23:11and the right information. You know? I will guide you through that. No problem with that.
23:19I want you to visualize, to see in your mind you crossing the bridge. You know? You've
23:30been always forcing yourself to see the limitation of crossing the bridge. Not being able to cross
23:35the bridge. Now, I'm going to help you to introduce new vision to your, to your, you know, to your
23:43mind.
23:44Then, you know, you have to visualize stepping on bridge, smelling bridge, testing bridge, seeing clouds
23:52passing by and walking. And the breeze, breeze coming and gently touching you and welcoming you on the bridge.
24:00There is no fear. There is excitement. There is new beginning. So, yes, physical exercise, you know, because
24:12you've been denying your help for a long time to yourself. And then we are going to cross the bridge.
24:39I am not my mind. This is it then. Remember, you are the only one who makes these decisions.
24:48Because it's not me. It's not the bridge. It's you. It's you, Bear. You are the only one who can
24:58do it, Bear.
24:59The bridge is here. Just one step. It's up to you. And I know that you can do it, Bear.
25:13I am sure about it. I am sure about it.
26:03Where is the bridge?
26:09I am sure about the bridge.
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