- 14 hours ago
Adult Best Friends [Full Movie] [Full Storyline]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:18I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:00:46What are you doing?
00:00:48Nothing.
00:00:50Why are you in here?
00:00:52Maddie said the seventh grade boys are sneaking over for a kissing party.
00:00:55I know. I'm so nervous.
00:00:58Then don't do it.
00:00:58I'm calling my mom to pick me up.
00:01:00You can't. Maddie said we all have to kiss them.
00:01:02I don't want to kiss.
00:01:03Wear thong underpants. I hate thong underpants.
00:01:06But I'm worried if I wear normal underpants and no kissing stuff,
00:01:09then Maddie won't invite me to sleep over as anymore.
00:01:14Well, you could sleep over at mine.
00:01:17Tonight?
00:01:19Yeah. I mean, we're not allowed to watch TV, which sucks.
00:01:21But we could do braids.
00:01:23And I have a trundle bed.
00:01:24I love trundle beds.
00:01:26Do you have a best friend?
00:01:29No.
00:01:31You?
00:01:33No.
00:01:35Take me down, down, I don't know where to go.
00:01:38I can't come out today.
00:01:40And Katie's famous.
00:01:42But I don't give a shit.
00:01:43I've tried my best to live within two weeks.
00:01:47That's the best in me.
00:01:49What's wrong with my life?
00:01:51Yeah.
00:01:51So that's the next feature.
00:01:54You are going to be a doctor.
00:01:56I don't want to be a doctor.
00:02:04This is Katie's future.
00:02:07You can marry me to Daniel.
00:02:11Daniel is my boyfriend.
00:02:12Take me down, down, down, down.
00:02:19I don't want to be a doctor.
00:02:30I'm doing my best here.
00:02:34But that's not good enough
00:02:38Try harder next year
00:02:40Don't call
00:02:44Okay, read another post. Give me a hard one.
00:02:47Okay, from Seattle to Savannah, what a long, strange trip it's been.
00:02:53Hashtag van life.
00:02:55Tom Breyer?
00:02:55How did you know that?
00:02:57Because Tom Breyer needs to get a job.
00:02:58Another one.
00:02:59Let me find a good one.
00:02:59Get a good one.
00:03:00Okay.
00:03:03Okay, this one's hard.
00:03:05Okay.
00:03:06Here's to adulting forever with this one.
00:03:08He put a ring on it.
00:03:09Singular exclamation.
00:03:11Sarah Casper.
00:03:12You're cheating.
00:03:12I'm not cheating. I'm that good.
00:03:13She's engaged?
00:03:15She's a child.
00:03:17She's 32 years old.
00:03:20Sarah Casper would throw it all away for, like, some random guy.
00:03:24That was random. They've been dating since college.
00:03:26Do you have any snacks?
00:03:27Do you have any dinner?
00:03:28I had peanut butter.
00:03:29And what?
00:03:31A spoon?
00:03:32Oh, my God. Let me make you something.
00:03:34I'll just have sultene at home.
00:03:35Oh, my God. No.
00:03:35I'll make you a turkey burger.
00:03:38I can put poblanos on top.
00:03:40What's poblanos?
00:03:41Oh, it's a giant Mexican pepper.
00:03:44It's actually our favorite pepper.
00:03:47Second only to the jalapeno.
00:03:49You'll love it. I promise.
00:03:50It's really good.
00:03:52I'm fine. Thank you.
00:03:53Well, if you're not hungry, maybe you want a joke that I heard today.
00:03:58It made me think of you instantly.
00:03:59Okay. This is very good.
00:04:01Okay. So, there are two pigs in a pit of mud.
00:04:04And the wife pig turns to the husband and says...
00:04:08No, no. The husband says to the wife.
00:04:10You're right. You're right.
00:04:12The husband pig says to the wife,
00:04:14Hey, did you see Farmer...
00:04:16Should we get going?
00:04:17Parties are at 9 o'clock, so...
00:04:19Oh, you want to go to that?
00:04:21Yeah.
00:04:22Really?
00:04:22My throat feels kind of weird.
00:04:24I feel like...
00:04:25I don't know.
00:04:25If I got everyone sick, then I...
00:04:27You don't feel warm.
00:04:28No?
00:04:29No, you feel cold.
00:04:29Do you not want to go?
00:04:32It's a crazy to stay here.
00:04:33I mean, we have food here, blankets here.
00:04:36I'm comfortable.
00:04:36You're comfortable.
00:04:37We could watch a movie.
00:04:38Yeah, but hey, if Katie doesn't want to go out with Delaney,
00:04:40I'd love to go out with you.
00:04:43Please don't make me go alone.
00:04:44I'm nervous and I'll get too fucked up.
00:04:46No, you will not.
00:04:50Like, she doesn't even come out anymore
00:04:52because she's always with her boyfriend, John.
00:04:56I don't know why I did that.
00:04:56His name is John?
00:04:57John.
00:05:00John, do you think she's okay then?
00:05:02Mm-hmm.
00:05:04Mm-hmm.
00:05:05Mm-hmm.
00:05:08I'm gonna go.
00:05:09I'm gonna go meet her.
00:05:10I don't like him.
00:05:11Is that wrong to say?
00:05:12You know, like, if you don't like your best friend's boyfriend,
00:05:15it's the way he makes her.
00:05:17If that makes sense.
00:05:18I'll be pied.
00:05:21Oh, you know what, though?
00:05:22My contacts are already out.
00:05:27That's like a whole thing.
00:05:29Only here.
00:05:30She moves in with him.
00:05:31Kind of fast, if you ask me.
00:05:33I am.
00:05:33But nobody asks me.
00:05:36I'm gonna go meet her for a little.
00:05:39Okay.
00:05:42John.
00:05:44Yes, he's hot.
00:05:45I get it.
00:05:45I see it.
00:05:46But he's boring.
00:05:48Occupied.
00:05:50I think she's fine.
00:05:51Mm-hmm.
00:05:53Yeah.
00:05:54I'll come have sex.
00:05:59How do you have the patience?
00:06:01Well, we actually had an agreement
00:06:02that if I set up his Wi-Fi,
00:06:04he promised to wear boxers under his shorts
00:06:06during our PT sessions.
00:06:08Oh, well, that could be worth it.
00:06:09It's a give and a take.
00:06:10But, uh, this looks nice, right?
00:06:13Yeah, I like it.
00:06:13In the shade.
00:06:14It's good.
00:06:15Uh, oh.
00:06:17Don't suppose I could get you to call her back, maybe?
00:06:20She gets so anxious when she's hungover.
00:06:22Yeah, no, she does.
00:06:23I just, um...
00:06:25I just wanted to ask her.
00:06:26How was it?
00:06:27No, my Uber's now 27 minutes away.
00:06:30Where are you?
00:06:31I answered a 2 a.m. text from this guy.
00:06:34The drugger he got.
00:06:35The more he talked about Julia.
00:06:37Yeah, not next.
00:06:38Just a female friend we...
00:06:39Clearly in love with.
00:06:42Did she hook up?
00:06:43Yes, he asked me to role-play.
00:06:46Uh, wow, like, be a cheerleader or something?
00:06:48That's...
00:06:48Oh, I wish.
00:06:50More like, we're best friends
00:06:52and I suddenly see him in a new light.
00:06:54Oh, my God.
00:06:55I don't know where pizza to my apartment.
00:06:56What do you want?
00:06:57Ah, that sounds good.
00:06:58No, John and I are doing a picnic.
00:07:00Do you want to come?
00:07:01You know what?
00:07:02No, I'll just try you later.
00:07:04Okay, bye.
00:07:05All right, bye.
00:07:07Well, she's fine, but she met a new guy,
00:07:12and...
00:07:13Oh, my God.
00:07:14It's okay.
00:07:14No, no, no.
00:07:15It's okay.
00:07:16It's okay.
00:07:17As long as I have your undivided attention now.
00:07:20Yeah.
00:07:21Yeah.
00:07:22When I first moved here,
00:07:23it took me a while to get adjusted.
00:07:25Yeah, you were mugged, like,
00:07:27three times that first week.
00:07:28Right, well, I thought everyone needed directions,
00:07:30but then...
00:07:32Then I met you,
00:07:33and you actually needed directions.
00:07:35And I'm so, so glad
00:07:38that I walked you into that coffee shop
00:07:41because you have made my life so much better
00:07:44than I ever thought that I deserved.
00:07:48Will you marry me?
00:07:51Yeah.
00:07:52Yeah.
00:07:53Yeah.
00:07:56I hate the art Katie left here.
00:07:58It's so gross.
00:07:59It's sentimental.
00:07:59Okay, well, I live here now,
00:08:01and I like actual art.
00:08:02Let me just ask Katie if she wants it
00:08:04before we throw it away.
00:08:05Where is Katie?
00:08:06I feel like she's usually here by now,
00:08:08like, complaining about some ugly house
00:08:10she can't sell.
00:08:11She's doing a picnic with John.
00:08:14Like, eating on the ground?
00:08:15Yeah.
00:08:16I feel so bad for her.
00:08:18You know, it's like she misses the party last night,
00:08:20and now she has to waste her entire Sunday
00:08:22doing a picnic with her boyfriend.
00:08:24Can I say something?
00:08:25I really don't buy John's whole
00:08:27I'm such a nice guy thing.
00:08:29Like, you're a pervert.
00:08:31You literally touch old ladies all day.
00:08:33That's his job.
00:08:34He's a physical therapist for old people.
00:08:36Katie would fall for a pervert.
00:08:39I mean, she's clueless.
00:08:40Remember that time she got you, like,
00:08:42a briefcase filled with old papers for your birthday?
00:08:44Those are my great-grandparents' birth certificates.
00:08:46Why would you want that?
00:08:48She likes thoughtful surprises.
00:08:50She's exactly like my sister.
00:08:52She's nothing like your sister.
00:08:54Mary had one kid,
00:08:55and now she won't shut up about her pelvic floor.
00:08:57Yeah, Mary's the worst.
00:08:59And her baby isn't even cute.
00:09:01I can't imagine having a baby right now.
00:09:02It's actually disgusting to have a baby.
00:09:05Or getting married?
00:09:06Kill me.
00:09:07But we're pretty far from that.
00:09:09We like you and me.
00:09:11No, me and Katie.
00:09:13Delaney what?
00:09:14You and Katie are on totally different paths.
00:09:17I mean, Katie lives with her boyfriend.
00:09:19They're very serious.
00:09:20And you literally still, like,
00:09:22fuck the first guy who shares a cigarette with you.
00:09:28We love you.
00:09:30Oh, thank you.
00:09:31We love you so much.
00:09:32We cannot wait to celebrate with you guys.
00:09:34No.
00:09:35Bye.
00:09:37I love your family.
00:09:38I love them.
00:09:39Did you see your sister was crying?
00:09:40Yeah, no, it's funny.
00:09:41She's known for months.
00:09:42How did I not find this ring?
00:09:44Oh, the ring was in a box, in a bin,
00:09:46in an air vent, in my office.
00:09:48You would never find me.
00:09:49That was never...
00:09:49And how were Delaney playing it?
00:09:51So cool.
00:09:52Yeah, no, I didn't tell Delaney.
00:09:55What?
00:09:57Oh, well, I figured you wanted to tell her, right?
00:10:00Yeah.
00:10:01Yeah.
00:10:01So Delaney has no idea.
00:10:04No, but we can call her right now, maybe.
00:10:07Uh, yeah.
00:10:07Um, let's do...
00:10:08Let's call her later, though,
00:10:09because I think she's probably asleep.
00:10:10No, it's fine.
00:10:11We'll just call her from my phone,
00:10:12and it'll be a big surprise, I promise.
00:10:14Yeah.
00:10:16Hey.
00:10:17Hello?
00:10:18You can just leave the pizza at the door,
00:10:19and I'll grab it.
00:10:26Does she not have my number safe?
00:10:28No, she does.
00:10:29I think she does.
00:10:31I thought you'd be pretty excited to tell her.
00:10:34I am.
00:10:36I really am.
00:10:37I just want to tell her later.
00:10:41Right.
00:10:43I know, um, I'm not her favorite person.
00:10:47That is not true, Dawn.
00:10:48She loves you.
00:10:48It's just that she has a hard time with change.
00:10:50You know, when she was younger,
00:10:52her parents sold the family minivan,
00:10:53and she asked if she could go visit it at its new house.
00:10:57That's really sweet of her to want to check in on it.
00:11:00And then remember when I told her I was moving out?
00:11:04She didn't talk to me for, like, two weeks.
00:11:06Mm-hmm.
00:11:08And whenever I passed her door,
00:11:09she'd be muttering,
00:11:10Benedict Arnold.
00:11:11Right, but this, this is a good change.
00:11:14I know, and I'm so excited,
00:11:16and I love you so much,
00:11:17and I, and I cannot wait to get married.
00:11:21But I, I just want to make sure I tell her in the,
00:11:24just in the right way for her.
00:11:27Okay.
00:11:30So let's parking lot the holiday campaign
00:11:32and dig into the meat and taters
00:11:34of our spring into content campaign.
00:11:36So this campaign is,
00:11:38it's going to be a big lift.
00:11:39So we really need to stop the scroll.
00:11:41We need some big ideas.
00:11:42We need some blue sky ideas.
00:11:45And, like, we just, like, really need everybody on this.
00:11:47But I was kind of thinking, Delaney,
00:11:50maybe you could run a point for us.
00:11:52Hmm, I don't, I don't really have the bandwidth
00:11:54for that right now.
00:11:56I copy that.
00:11:56Luca, it's all yours.
00:12:00Okay, um, wow.
00:12:01Yeah, that's, that is just, that's amazing.
00:12:04I do just want to flag that I'm working overtime
00:12:07on two major campaigns right now
00:12:08since Delaney didn't have the bandwidth last month.
00:12:11So it's just kind of all falling on my shoulders.
00:12:13So that's, that's totally fine.
00:12:14I just do just want to flag that.
00:12:16No, and thank you for flagging that.
00:12:18Delaney, do you think you could maybe, like,
00:12:20carve out some time to kind of tag team it?
00:12:24Yeah, I, I got a flag that I'm spread pretty thin over here.
00:12:28What are you working on, Delaney?
00:12:30Putting out fires.
00:12:31What kind of fires?
00:12:32Big ones with employees that you don't know.
00:12:35Right, and is that why your camera's always off?
00:12:37No, my, my camera's off, Luca,
00:12:39because it's allowed to be off.
00:12:40Okay, guys, I should finish up
00:12:42with a round of peaks and valleys.
00:12:44So my valley was missing last week's happy hour.
00:12:48Never has someone been so missed.
00:12:49But my peak is that it's on the books for next week.
00:12:52Like, popcorn to Delaney.
00:12:54I guess my valley was editing Luca's Q4 pitch,
00:12:59and then my peak was, it's done now.
00:13:03Popcorn to Alex.
00:13:05You know, my valley was that Ryan and I hit a speed bump.
00:13:13Wow.
00:13:14So he, he wants to open up the relationship,
00:13:16and I just, I don't think that I have
00:13:18the sexual confidence to withstand it.
00:13:21So we're taking some time apart
00:13:22to kind of ideate on next steps.
00:13:25But Alex, are you okay?
00:13:27How are you feeling?
00:13:29You know, like, I was upset, obviously.
00:13:32I was really upset for a beat.
00:13:33But then I had a one-on-one with my best friend.
00:13:35You know, we went out, we got some drinks,
00:13:37we blew off steam, just like old times,
00:13:39just the two of us, and that, like, really, really helped.
00:13:42Best friends just get it.
00:13:44Oh, we're so aligned on that, Luca.
00:13:48So what was Dad's reaction?
00:13:50We FaceTimed him quickly.
00:13:51Yeah, he was really happy for us.
00:13:53Yeah.
00:13:54Aw.
00:13:54Yeah.
00:13:56I mean, not that happy.
00:13:57Oh.
00:13:59Come on.
00:13:59He was really excited, it seemed.
00:14:01Yeah, or you need to call him after five.
00:14:04Speaking of alcoholics, how did Delaney take the news?
00:14:07Um, she was happy, fine, good.
00:14:10Delaney doesn't know yet.
00:14:12Katie wanted to tell her in her own way
00:14:14before we told anybody else.
00:14:15That is so classic.
00:14:17I, uh, do you know that Delaney knew
00:14:19that our parents were getting divorced before I did?
00:14:21Is that true?
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23I mean, uh, she's my best friend, so.
00:14:27I think you'd get it if you had a best friend.
00:14:29Well, my wife is my best friend,
00:14:31so, Daria, who's your best friend?
00:14:33No, I'd rather not say.
00:14:35We're each other's best friends.
00:14:36Yeah.
00:14:37Yeah.
00:14:38Like normal adults.
00:14:40Delaney loves Katie.
00:14:42She'll be really happy once we tell her.
00:14:44John, have you ever heard of
00:14:45expectation recalibration therapy?
00:14:47I was reading an article about it, and I think...
00:14:49Excuse me, what article?
00:14:51It's an article.
00:14:52Where was this article?
00:14:54In the journals for doctors.
00:14:56Henry, have you been listening again
00:14:59to my sessions with my patients?
00:15:01Anyway, expectation recalibration
00:15:02is basically a therapy where you work to accept
00:15:04that someone will never change, right?
00:15:06Like, they suck, like, medically.
00:15:09And in your case, that's Delaney.
00:15:10And in our case, it's our dad.
00:15:11So, I mean, Daria confirmed that he's a narcissist.
00:15:14Oh, I have never treated your father.
00:15:16And I've never made any medical claims about him.
00:15:18Excuse me.
00:15:19I mean, but you have.
00:15:20I mean, we've talked about that.
00:15:20What are you talking about?
00:15:21You know.
00:15:22What?
00:15:22Aren't you...
00:15:22I sent him 20 of my poems in the past year?
00:15:2620.
00:15:27And he never once told me that I was talented?
00:15:30Right?
00:15:32I mean, how hard is it to reply with a compliment?
00:15:34How hard is it to, like, you know,
00:15:36just say, like, a simple Henry,
00:15:37you are a brilliant artist, right?
00:15:39And it is a crime that you have to edit
00:15:41other people's much weaker novels
00:15:43instead of traveling the world
00:15:45on your own book tour, right?
00:15:46He is selfish, Katie, and so is Delaney.
00:15:49Yeah, I hear you.
00:15:51I don't think Delaney's selfish.
00:15:53I think she has a hard time with change.
00:15:55Daria was treating our neighbor the other day.
00:15:57He would know.
00:15:57He's a total freak, Daria.
00:15:58I mean, he gets off on lizards.
00:16:00And let...
00:16:01Did he say blizzards or it was lizards?
00:16:03It was lizards, right?
00:16:04It was lizards.
00:16:04He gets off on lizards
00:16:05and his wife wants to divorce him, clearly.
00:16:08And Daria said something that I think applies here.
00:16:12Tell them the thing about the change.
00:16:15Oh, well, you know,
00:16:17people's nerves about change,
00:16:19they can be calmed by the familiar.
00:16:22So, you take them to a comfortable environment
00:16:24and you break the news.
00:16:27It's kind of like you take your kids
00:16:28to their favorite ice cream shop
00:16:30and tell them you're getting a divorce.
00:16:31I mean, I think that's something
00:16:32that you should consider with Delaney.
00:16:34I mean, she's about as mature as an eight-year-old, so...
00:16:37I've seen her hork down a pint of Chubby Hubby in one sitting,
00:16:40so we know she likes ice cream.
00:16:44Yeah.
00:16:47That's not a real basketball.
00:16:49Third from the left is cake.
00:16:50You know, I decided I don't even want cake
00:16:52at my birthday this year.
00:16:53I actually think it's really weird
00:16:55to, like, bring out food
00:16:56and then make people eat it.
00:16:57Did you find a bar yet?
00:16:59I think I'm gonna do it here.
00:17:00I'm going for a very specific aesthetic,
00:17:02so if you could not invite...
00:17:03Ah, no!
00:17:05I thought you'd be asleep.
00:17:09Katie, I didn't know you still had a key.
00:17:11Uh, Delaney said I could keep one for emergencies.
00:17:13What's the emergency?
00:17:15Well, this time it's not so much an emergency,
00:17:17really, as it is a surprise for my best friend.
00:17:23Oh, man, I actually had this whole thing planned
00:17:25that I was gonna sneak in
00:17:25and, like, put clues around the apartment,
00:17:27but, okay, whatever.
00:17:28Since you're awake, I'll just show you now.
00:17:33What the fuck is that?
00:17:35I planned us a mini beach vacation.
00:17:39You don't seem excited.
00:17:40What's there to be excited about, Katie?
00:17:42It's the beach.
00:17:43I'm excited.
00:17:44I really am.
00:17:45And that poster is...
00:17:47That's your most thoughtful gift yet.
00:17:48You see the umbrella?
00:17:49I see the umbrella.
00:17:51You know these trips can be kind of weird for me.
00:17:54Is John at least bringing a friend?
00:17:55No, no, John's not coming.
00:17:58Why?
00:17:58Yeah, why?
00:18:00No reason.
00:18:01I just thought it would be great
00:18:02for the two of us to go on a trip,
00:18:05connect, have some quality time.
00:18:07Like old times?
00:18:08Yes, yes.
00:18:10Just like old times.
00:18:13Ew.
00:18:27Kiss me once.
00:18:30Kiss me twice.
00:18:32Girl.
00:18:34Girl.
00:18:34Your sugar and spice.
00:18:36Girl.
00:18:37And everything night.
00:18:39Girl.
00:18:40Love me forever.
00:18:43And I'll be true to you.
00:18:51Girl.
00:18:52All right.
00:18:53There we go.
00:18:53Nice.
00:18:54We're here.
00:18:55What time is check-in at the Pelican Palace?
00:18:58Surprise.
00:18:59We aren't staying at the Pelican Palace.
00:19:01What?
00:19:02Yeah, I got us a rental house, actually, on Wonder Weekend.
00:19:07Wonder Weekend rentals kind of creep me out.
00:19:09I don't like the idea of using other people's kitchen appliances.
00:19:11But you're okay sleeping in a bed or a bunch of high schoolers just round at the bases?
00:19:15But the Pelican Palace is where all the parties end up.
00:19:17I know.
00:19:18Imagine that noise.
00:19:20When you sleep a frickin' wink.
00:19:22Is there a bar?
00:19:25At the rental house?
00:19:27Is it a shared space or private?
00:19:29Private.
00:19:31And there's a lockbox, so we don't even have to meet the guy.
00:19:37You found it!
00:19:40Gosh, GPS can be a little wonky here, so glad you guys figured it out.
00:19:44How are we doing?
00:19:45Are you, uh...
00:19:48Are you, uh, Douglas?
00:19:50Are you my fifth-grade teacher?
00:19:52Just Dougie's fine.
00:19:54Yeah.
00:19:54I-I just asked because the-the listing had said that there was a lockbox, so I didn't think we'd
00:19:59get to meet.
00:19:59Here she is.
00:20:01Yeah.
00:20:01I love to walk everyone through the space first.
00:20:03Only cause...
00:20:05It's a really important place to me.
00:20:06Oh.
00:20:07It was my mom's.
00:20:08She, uh...
00:20:09She died here.
00:20:11Oh, gosh, no.
00:20:13Not in the front yard.
00:20:14Oh.
00:20:15She died inside.
00:20:17Katie, right?
00:20:18So you must be Delaney.
00:20:20Mm-hmm.
00:20:20Yeah.
00:20:20I love that name.
00:20:21Family name?
00:20:22It was my grandfather's.
00:20:23Oh, my gosh.
00:20:24I was named after my mom's brother, who we don't talk to anymore.
00:20:28He's, uh, he's a pedophile, so...
00:20:31Oh, I'm sorry.
00:20:32Oh, no, no, no.
00:20:32He was always cool with me, yeah.
00:20:36But, uh, called a lot, you know, when he was doing time.
00:20:39Yeah.
00:20:39I guess inmates are, like, really hard on child predators.
00:20:42I didn't mind saying hi then, but once he got out and started coming here unannounced...
00:20:47Oh, my gosh.
00:20:47I keep talking and talking.
00:20:49You guys probably just want to see inside, right?
00:20:51Pretty cute, huh?
00:20:52I love it.
00:20:54Yeah.
00:20:55Mom left the place to meet my sister, but Lauren has a family now, so she let me keep it
00:20:59all
00:21:00to myself.
00:21:00Ah, score.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:02Oh, all the art on the wall is for sale.
00:21:04Oh.
00:21:07Oh.
00:21:08What little munchkin did these?
00:21:10I am an artist.
00:21:12Yeah.
00:21:12Well, technically my day job is medical sales, but I've been working my tush off and...
00:21:17Is there a Wi-Fi password?
00:21:19Uh, yeah.
00:21:20It was in the welcome pamphlet that I sent over.
00:21:24Because guests are really supposed to read the pamphlet before they check in.
00:21:28Oh.
00:21:28But it's okay.
00:21:29I have a spare set of rules right here.
00:21:33Oh, perfect.
00:21:34Oh, I also threw in my favorite local spots.
00:21:36You girls hot dog fans?
00:21:37Dingo's dogs.
00:21:38Yeah.
00:21:39Yeah.
00:21:39We know it.
00:21:40We used to come here when you were little.
00:21:41Fun.
00:21:42Yeah.
00:21:43Sisters?
00:21:43Best friends.
00:21:44I love, uh, best friends.
00:21:46Any big plans for best friends night?
00:21:48Um, I think we'll probably hang here and make a cheese plate.
00:21:53You get plenty of cheese at home.
00:21:55Ugh.
00:21:56I thought we could go to a bar.
00:21:58I mean, I brought a lot of orange wine for us to drink here.
00:22:01Oh!
00:22:02That's a no.
00:22:05No alcohol on the premises.
00:22:07That's ridiculous.
00:22:09Um, what she means is we were really just gonna have a glass or two?
00:22:13Yeah, no exception to the rules.
00:22:14Was it just a quick scam of a welcome email?
00:22:18Because no shoes is also a big one.
00:22:21I can't sleep with the sound of stomping.
00:22:24I thought this was a private space.
00:22:26Yeah.
00:22:26The upstairs is your private domain.
00:22:29I hang my hat in the subterranean domicile.
00:22:33I live in the basement.
00:22:39What are you doing?
00:22:40The head of file has its address.
00:22:42Okay, well, it's a good thing we're adults.
00:22:44I look young.
00:22:47So what happens when you stray from places you know and love?
00:22:49Your mom got staff at the Pelican Palace.
00:22:52The Pelican Palace is fun.
00:22:53They keep beers in the ice machine.
00:22:55You prefer dirty ice?
00:22:56Over a literal deathbed?
00:22:57Yeah.
00:22:58Okay, I put a lot of effort into planning this trip,
00:23:00and I would like if we could at least relax
00:23:02and try to connect, enjoy ourselves,
00:23:05appreciate where we are.
00:23:07Ouch.
00:23:12Cameras?
00:23:13What the hell?
00:23:14What?
00:23:15They're where I work, the urban outfitters?
00:23:16All right, those cameras aren't even on.
00:23:18People just see them and they're less likely to steal.
00:23:21Do you see any ironic coffee table books for sale here?
00:23:24Because I don't.
00:23:26Dougie's boarding off shoplifters.
00:23:27He's watching us get his rocks off.
00:23:29He's not camped out in front of the monitor
00:23:30with his hands down his pants.
00:23:32He's nice.
00:23:35No, no, I'm not staying here all night
00:23:38and being one of Dougie's cheese-eating cam girls, okay?
00:23:40I'm going to a bar.
00:23:42All night at a bar?
00:23:43Yeah.
00:23:44Shh, shh.
00:23:45Thing is, though, if it's loud,
00:23:48we won't really be able to talk.
00:23:50We talk all day.
00:23:53I know.
00:23:54That's a good point.
00:23:57Yeah, let's go to a bar.
00:24:01Yeah.
00:24:02This place has really changed.
00:24:04It used to get packed.
00:24:06I saw this pottery place in town
00:24:07and they have a morning class
00:24:08that teaches you how to make little bowls for your keys.
00:24:10I kind of was hoping we'd sleep in.
00:24:11Yeah, it's not till 7.
00:24:14Okay.
00:24:15Cheers to this weekend.
00:24:16Thank you for planning it.
00:24:16Um, as you know,
00:24:19we've had so many great memories here as friends
00:24:21and we've crossed so many milestones together
00:24:24and I thought it would be the perfect place to come
00:24:27to cross one more
00:24:28and I think that it's the most important thing we do
00:24:31if we are able to flourish together
00:24:34like two roses,
00:24:35two best friend, I guess, roses
00:24:37who, um...
00:24:39Uh, can I get a beer, please?
00:24:40Yeah.
00:24:41That guy?
00:24:42Real hot.
00:24:43Who?
00:24:43The helmet guy.
00:24:46Uh, okay.
00:24:47Not why we're here.
00:24:48Um, okay.
00:24:49So I was saying,
00:24:50we have crossed so many milestones together
00:24:52here as friends.
00:24:53He looks like Dennis Fuller.
00:24:55Oh, Dennis Fuller.
00:24:56Another loser.
00:24:56Should we go talk to him?
00:24:58I'm in the middle of saying something, okay?
00:25:06Um...
00:25:06You gonna pick that up?
00:25:07I'm gonna call him back.
00:25:12Uh, I'm gonna be quick.
00:25:14Don't move.
00:25:20Sorry.
00:25:21Uh, had to get to a quiet place.
00:25:22Delaney dragged me to a bar.
00:25:24You're out celebrating?
00:25:26Celebrating?
00:25:26The proposal.
00:25:29Katie?
00:25:29Uh, yeah.
00:25:30Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:31It cut out for a sec.
00:25:32Um,
00:25:33not, yeah, not yet.
00:25:34You said that you would tell her by tonight.
00:25:36No, no, I know.
00:25:37I was just about to when you called.
00:25:39Well, Daria sent over some invitation samples
00:25:41and she said we should pick one by next week.
00:25:43Okay, yeah, sounds good.
00:25:45I'll send you some photos
00:25:46and then you can decide
00:25:47or I can decide
00:25:49and we photos on the back.
00:25:50Uh, whichever.
00:25:52Okay.
00:25:52I'll catch you later.
00:25:53Love you.
00:25:54Bye.
00:25:58Checking in?
00:25:59All right.
00:25:59We gotta check in.
00:26:01I'm the social chair for Sigma Nu.
00:26:02So I got to plan this bachelor party
00:26:04for my almost bro-in-law.
00:26:06And I always go big.
00:26:07Last month,
00:26:07we had a naughty nuns
00:26:09and a frisky friars party.
00:26:11Friars are like ball priests.
00:26:12Tell me, what do you do?
00:26:13Uh, finance.
00:26:15Okay, humble.
00:26:17Do you follow crypto?
00:26:18Because he created Apex Coin.
00:26:20Uh, GQ did vote
00:26:22at one of their up-and-coming coins
00:26:23of the year this year,
00:26:24but it's not a big deal.
00:26:25Oh my God.
00:26:26Anybody can make this
00:26:27low itty-b coin.
00:26:28Nobody's...
00:26:29Oh, so sorry.
00:26:30Sorry.
00:26:30Hi.
00:26:30Hey.
00:26:31Um, I'm Katie.
00:26:32Hey.
00:26:32Kaylee, oh my God.
00:26:34You look exactly like my twins.
00:26:36Look at them.
00:26:39Is Apex Coin funding
00:26:40any strippers this weekend?
00:26:41I don't pay for intimate experiences.
00:26:43I do.
00:26:44I wanted one real bad.
00:26:46I found one on a line
00:26:47that's so mean to you.
00:26:48Sorry about him.
00:26:50The legend himself.
00:26:51It's Charlie.
00:26:53Delaney.
00:26:54Katie.
00:26:54Nice to meet you.
00:26:55Katie.
00:26:56Again.
00:26:57Do you think it was a bad idea
00:26:58to have a college junior
00:26:59playing my master party?
00:27:00Uh, we're actually
00:27:01probably gonna head out.
00:27:05Oh, would you actually
00:27:06mind opening these for us?
00:27:07All good.
00:27:08I got it.
00:27:08Oh, no.
00:27:09P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p
00:27:11party flops.
00:27:12Ha.
00:27:13Yeah.
00:27:13You didn't want to use
00:27:15your party flops?
00:27:16You.
00:27:18One beer and we go?
00:27:21One beer and we go.
00:27:40Let's go.
00:27:40Yeah, let's fucking go.
00:27:42I'm gonna fire up some tunes.
00:27:44P-p-p-p-p-p-ps.
00:27:48That smells fucking awful.
00:27:50Oh, my God.
00:27:51That smells so bad.
00:27:52Wait.
00:27:52I didn't smell anything.
00:27:53I didn't...
00:27:54What's it smell like?
00:27:55Oh.
00:27:57Yo.
00:27:59Did anybody see
00:27:59a dog walk through here?
00:28:03Bottle opener
00:28:04on the bottom of a shoe?
00:28:05Stop smiling.
00:28:06Stop.
00:28:08And I don't know what kind of moron
00:28:09walks through dog shit
00:28:10and has no idea.
00:28:11You didn't even know
00:28:11how to get strippers
00:28:12for a bachelor party.
00:28:13Well, not all guys
00:28:14like strippers.
00:28:14That's what I get.
00:28:15Yeah, totally.
00:28:16John really doesn't.
00:28:17Okay.
00:28:18John actually doesn't.
00:28:19Because he has a sister.
00:28:20He does?
00:28:21You hung out with her
00:28:22like three times.
00:28:23All right.
00:28:27Will you open the door?
00:28:30You have the key.
00:28:31You have the key.
00:28:32No.
00:28:33I have the key?
00:28:34You wanted to carry it.
00:28:36I have the key.
00:28:38I don't have the key.
00:28:41Where'd it go?
00:28:41It might have fallen
00:28:42out of my pocket.
00:28:43Why can't you carry a purse?
00:28:44I'm sorry.
00:28:45I need to brush my teeth.
00:28:46We can go back to the bar
00:28:47and look for them?
00:28:47No.
00:28:49You know what we have to do?
00:28:51No.
00:28:52Yeah.
00:28:54Sorry again, doggy.
00:28:56Oh, that's fine.
00:28:56I was only asleep for an hour.
00:28:57Okay, good.
00:28:58Oh, sorry.
00:29:00Just pop those off for me.
00:29:02Oh.
00:29:02Yeah.
00:29:03Sorry.
00:29:03Just the rules.
00:29:07I just forgot.
00:29:08That's fine.
00:29:09I love those flats.
00:29:14Oh, sorry.
00:29:18Before you go back
00:29:19down to the basement,
00:29:20what's the deal
00:29:21with the cameras?
00:29:22Oh, my gosh.
00:29:23I had to up my security
00:29:24after a nightmare renter.
00:29:26Ever heard of a home birth?
00:29:30But the cameras
00:29:31don't actually record.
00:29:32Oh, no.
00:29:33They're the real deal.
00:29:34Yeah.
00:29:35No audio, of course,
00:29:36because you need
00:29:36a permit for that
00:29:37and no cameras
00:29:39in the bedrooms
00:29:40or bathrooms.
00:29:41This was all in the...
00:29:42In the welcome email.
00:29:43Yeah.
00:29:44Was it just a quick skim?
00:29:45Because we can pop a squat
00:29:47and look things over
00:29:48if you want.
00:29:48Oh, no.
00:29:49We should not
00:29:49pop any squats.
00:29:50We'd like to go to bed
00:29:52and we'd like to watch TV
00:29:54alone.
00:29:55Do you guys know
00:29:56how to work the Roku?
00:29:56Yes.
00:29:57Yes.
00:29:58I saw that in the binder.
00:30:00She saw the...
00:30:01I cracked myself up.
00:30:04I don't have a Roku.
00:30:05It was a trick question.
00:30:07You fell right into my trap.
00:30:10I'm really gonna need you
00:30:11to do a refresher
00:30:11of the rules
00:30:12after I leave.
00:30:13Okay?
00:30:15Gonna need a verbal K
00:30:16from both of you.
00:30:18K.
00:30:22Hmm?
00:30:24K.
00:30:26And while I'm at it,
00:30:27why don't I
00:30:28throw us all
00:30:28in a group text?
00:30:29Just in case of emergencies.
00:30:31Katie,
00:30:32I have your digits,
00:30:33but, um...
00:30:34Delaney?
00:30:36Delaney?
00:30:58What time is it?
00:30:59It's early.
00:31:02Um...
00:31:02It's really early.
00:31:03Go back to bed.
00:31:04Hmm.
00:31:10I'm gonna, uh...
00:31:12I'm gonna go get us coffees.
00:31:15Hmm.
00:31:35It's a matter of privacy, Otto.
00:31:36I think it's a little weird
00:31:37for your friend's wife
00:31:38to post something
00:31:39before I,
00:31:40the bride,
00:31:41have posted anything,
00:31:42you know?
00:31:43No, I mean...
00:31:43But you told Delaney, right?
00:31:45Yes, yes, I...
00:31:47I told her we were engaged.
00:31:49I...
00:31:49Look, I will ask them
00:31:50to take it down.
00:31:51Okay.
00:31:51Yeah, I just don't want it up there.
00:31:53Okay.
00:31:54I gotta go.
00:31:55Yeah.
00:31:56All right, I love you.
00:31:57Bye.
00:31:58Hey.
00:32:00Hi.
00:32:01Hi.
00:32:02I almost didn't recognize you
00:32:04without the dog shit on your cat.
00:32:05Oh.
00:32:07That's funny.
00:32:08Too soon.
00:32:10I, um...
00:32:11Sorry, I overheard you on the phone.
00:32:12I didn't realize you were a bride.
00:32:15Yeah.
00:32:16Yeah.
00:32:17Congratulations.
00:32:19It's, um...
00:32:21It's really recent.
00:32:22Um, and I'm...
00:32:24I'm really, really excited.
00:32:26I just need to figure out, um...
00:32:28I haven't told, uh, my best friend yet,
00:32:31uh, Delaney, who you met last night.
00:32:33So I just need to, you know,
00:32:34figure stuff out, so...
00:32:36What, she doesn't like him?
00:32:37Uh, you know, I mean,
00:32:38she's not the most emotive person,
00:32:40so it can be...
00:32:42It can be...
00:32:42It was hard to tell in the beginning,
00:32:44but yeah, she likes him.
00:32:45She does.
00:32:46Yeah, she does like him.
00:32:47Yeah.
00:32:47Now, say it one more time,
00:32:48but I want you to really mean it.
00:32:49She does like him, so...
00:32:52Look, a few of my friends
00:32:54weren't that happy for me
00:32:55when I got engaged.
00:32:56I think they're just freaked out
00:32:58that they think your fiancé
00:32:59is going to hijack your life
00:33:00and they're never going to see you again.
00:33:01I know, which is crazy.
00:33:03One of them just straight up
00:33:04stopped inviting me places
00:33:05because he said
00:33:06I don't know how to hang anymore.
00:33:08Not that that's going to happen to you.
00:33:10I think...
00:33:10No.
00:33:11No, I know.
00:33:12Um, yeah.
00:33:14Okay.
00:33:15Good luck with, you know,
00:33:17enjoy your coffee.
00:33:18Yeah.
00:33:19Bye.
00:33:27You're up.
00:33:28What time is it?
00:33:29Time to get up.
00:33:30Cold brew?
00:33:31There you go.
00:33:33It's beautiful out, by the way.
00:33:34Where's my phone?
00:33:35Our phones are tucked away safely
00:33:37in the kitchen drawer.
00:33:39Why?
00:33:40Because today is about having fun
00:33:42without distractions.
00:33:44We're going to float around
00:33:45untethered to technology
00:33:46just like when we were little.
00:33:47What happened to pottery?
00:33:49We're not going to pottery.
00:33:51We're going to be wild,
00:33:52crazy,
00:33:53spontaneous.
00:33:53We are going off the grid.
00:33:58I think there's a left back there.
00:34:00I was following you.
00:34:02I'm following you.
00:34:03Why?
00:34:03I'm left-brained.
00:34:05No, I'm left-brained.
00:34:06Which one's the one that's bad at math?
00:34:08Because you're that one.
00:34:09That's very rude.
00:34:10You know, what's rude is
00:34:11those are my sneakers
00:34:12and you're wearing them
00:34:13and you didn't ask me.
00:34:14Katie?
00:34:15Gwen?
00:34:16Oh, my God.
00:34:17Hi.
00:34:17And Delaney.
00:34:19Hey, Gwen.
00:34:20Oh, my God.
00:34:20Wow.
00:34:21You two hanging out.
00:34:23It's like stepping back
00:34:24into 2008 again.
00:34:27I love it.
00:34:31You have a baby.
00:34:32Congratulations.
00:34:34Yeah, Max.
00:34:34She's a girl.
00:34:35She's amazing.
00:34:37She's such a great eater.
00:34:38She sleeps 8 to 8.
00:34:39Wow, that's awesome.
00:34:40Are you here for the weekend?
00:34:41Oh, no.
00:34:41My partner and I,
00:34:42we live here full-time.
00:34:43Yeah, we moved away from the city,
00:34:44which was super scary.
00:34:45But, you know, I love it.
00:34:46Wait, did I say that you got married?
00:34:48Uh, no.
00:34:49No.
00:34:50Oh, you know what?
00:34:51I'm thinking about the other Katie
00:34:52in your grade.
00:34:53Yeah, the other Katie.
00:34:54She had her wedding
00:34:55featured on Nautical Nuptials.
00:34:56Amazing.
00:34:57Wow.
00:34:59Well, what are you up to today?
00:35:01We're probably just going to grab
00:35:02some food at the deli,
00:35:03actually, in town.
00:35:04Oh, my God.
00:35:05Their locks is what got me
00:35:07through my second trimester.
00:35:08Just the craziest cravings
00:35:10with this little one.
00:35:10You know, pistachios, fish,
00:35:12cottage cheese, butt stuff,
00:35:14whatever.
00:35:14You name it, I had it.
00:35:15Oh, crazy.
00:35:16IT alert.
00:35:17But we're actually having
00:35:18a BBQ at mine today.
00:35:19You should come.
00:35:20Is it a party?
00:35:21It's a BBQ.
00:35:22Yeah.
00:35:23Come.
00:35:30Sorry, we just,
00:35:31we get it a little crazy
00:35:33on the weekends.
00:35:34Well, I mean,
00:35:35as, you know,
00:35:36crazy as we can
00:35:36with a little one.
00:35:40So, what is it
00:35:41you do, Theo?
00:35:43I'm a filmmaker.
00:35:46Yeah, commercials.
00:35:47Yeah, he just got back
00:35:48from Tokyo.
00:35:49Oh, wow.
00:35:50You know, I hear
00:35:51Japan's amazing.
00:35:52What commercial
00:35:52were you shooting?
00:35:54Um, nothing.
00:35:56Sweetie,
00:35:57just don't tell them.
00:35:58Oh, he's being so modest.
00:36:00He's being modest.
00:36:01He was shooting
00:36:02a watch commercial
00:36:03with Brad Pitt
00:36:04and Natalie Portman.
00:36:06Oh, wow.
00:36:08That's so cool.
00:36:09Did you get to meet them?
00:36:10The celebrities?
00:36:12Yeah, that's not really
00:36:13why I do it, though.
00:36:17No, of course not.
00:36:19Yeah.
00:36:20Oh, hello.
00:36:22Oh.
00:36:22Oh, hi.
00:36:23Oh, no, careful.
00:36:24She can buy it.
00:36:25She does?
00:36:26Uh, well, yeah,
00:36:27I guess she really likes you.
00:36:29Um, true,
00:36:31I've never seen her
00:36:31do that with anyone
00:36:32but me.
00:36:33Nerd, why don't you,
00:36:34why don't you come here?
00:36:35Come.
00:36:36Come on.
00:36:36Come on.
00:36:38Nerd!
00:36:41I think, um,
00:36:42yeah, I think it's
00:36:42your turn, Daddy.
00:36:43You know, I'm pretty sure
00:36:44I read in the book
00:36:44that it's better
00:36:46to let him cry it out,
00:36:47right?
00:36:47No, that's for, um,
00:36:48when we're putting her
00:36:49to sleep, babe.
00:36:49Yes, well, and nappies.
00:36:51No, no, not just nappies.
00:36:53Oh, no, she wants
00:36:54to come.
00:36:54Come on.
00:36:55Yeah, I want to,
00:36:56ah, yeah.
00:36:57Yeah, okay.
00:36:58Oh.
00:36:59Oh.
00:37:00You know what,
00:37:00we're gonna look
00:37:01after the child as well.
00:37:02Come on.
00:37:04Yeah.
00:37:05Just excuse me, okay?
00:37:05No, that's okay.
00:37:06Okay.
00:37:08I'm very worried
00:37:09about the dog.
00:37:11I'm sorry.
00:37:12Okay, I felt bad.
00:37:14I saw them wandering
00:37:15the neighborhood
00:37:15looking wrongly
00:37:16at all these families.
00:37:18What were they supposed to do?
00:37:19You can always invite
00:37:20strangers in this house.
00:37:21First it was the kitten
00:37:22and then the garage.
00:37:23Now it's these
00:37:24spinsters from your past.
00:37:27Maybe we have a child.
00:37:29We do?
00:37:30Wow, I just forgot
00:37:32about the 46 hours
00:37:33of labor and my torn anus.
00:37:35The chatty one
00:37:36is hiding something
00:37:36and I know
00:37:37that you don't care
00:37:38but the new keeps
00:37:39on fiddling with noodle.
00:37:40I want them gone.
00:37:41I want my life back.
00:37:47Ladies, I couldn't find
00:37:49any weed
00:37:50but some ketamine.
00:37:52Fuck.
00:37:57Ow!
00:38:00Oh, it hit my spine.
00:38:04Oh, my God.
00:38:06Since when
00:38:07is petting a dog weird?
00:38:09It's not like
00:38:09I was only petting tail.
00:38:10I'm serious.
00:38:12Okay, well,
00:38:13I'm not hiding anything.
00:38:14They're just freaking nuts.
00:38:16Whatever,
00:38:16that's the most excitement
00:38:16they've seen in months, so...
00:38:18Yeah?
00:38:18Their partner
00:38:19just shot a commercial
00:38:19with Brad Pitt
00:38:20but I hear you.
00:38:22Yeah, they clearly
00:38:22hate each other though.
00:38:24Hate each other.
00:38:24Maybe they're a little tired.
00:38:26She had a baby.
00:38:26Or maybe they were in love
00:38:28and then they had the baby
00:38:30and now they hate each other.
00:38:31That's real nice.
00:38:32I'm sorry.
00:38:33That's the reason
00:38:33I don't want kids.
00:38:35Alright, I know you want kids.
00:38:37I mean it.
00:38:38I don't want kids.
00:38:40Okay, you don't mean that.
00:38:41Don't say that.
00:38:43Um, I do mean it.
00:38:44I don't want kids.
00:38:46Delaney, you don't mean that.
00:38:47Stop.
00:38:48Can we not have this conversation?
00:38:51Because that really put a damper
00:38:52on my entire day.
00:38:53Yes, okay, sorry.
00:38:55Um,
00:38:55Okay, what do you want to do?
00:39:01Follow me, okay?
00:39:06Okay.
00:39:07Turn up the stereo
00:39:12Till everything right goes
00:39:19Life is a disco
00:39:24I'm going to get this
00:39:25with my name on it
00:39:26and she's going to get this
00:39:28with her name on it.
00:39:31What's the other 2%?
00:39:34Um,
00:39:34Carol Beagle?
00:39:36Oh,
00:39:37I'm going to get this
00:39:38up in the window
00:39:45Get back in the saddle
00:39:48Get back in the saddle
00:39:51This ain't no ghetto
00:39:59You're on the payroll
00:40:04Oh,
00:40:05Oh,
00:40:05Oh,
00:40:12Oh,
00:40:13Oh,
00:40:13Come on.
00:40:14Oh,
00:40:14Oh,
00:40:15Oh,
00:40:16Oh,
00:40:17Oh God, they're very humble.
00:40:37Really?
00:40:38Yes, he cuts his toenails in the car.
00:40:40That's a good thing.
00:40:41Shots!
00:40:42Keep it going all-nighter.
00:40:44Oh, hi, Kyle.
00:40:46You sure you're allowed back in here?
00:40:51Dude, I'm so embarrassed.
00:40:53How can we make this up to you?
00:40:55Um, I guess one of you could eat some dog shit.
00:40:58Shit, I'll do it.
00:40:59No, I'll do it.
00:41:01I'll do it.
00:41:02I am so sorry that we keep subjecting you to this.
00:41:04Let's just do a round of fireball shots for everyone.
00:41:10You like fireball?
00:41:13I love fireball.
00:41:16Let's fucking go.
00:41:20What is with Phil?
00:41:22What's up, Kaylee?
00:41:24Oh my God, dude.
00:41:26I gotta go to the bathroom.
00:41:27Well, we've been having so much fun.
00:41:29It's been hard to find the right time to tell her.
00:41:32Right.
00:41:33But more importantly, as soon as you tell her, it's gonna be weird.
00:41:37Uh, yeah, that too.
00:41:39All right, then don't think about it and just have fun.
00:41:41I can't not think about it.
00:41:44She is going to find out.
00:41:46Mm-hmm.
00:41:48Oh my God, you're so stressed.
00:41:50I know.
00:41:51I know.
00:41:51I know.
00:41:52I can feel your heart beating in your chest.
00:41:54I know.
00:41:55I know.
00:41:56Well, my fiance wants to try for kids as soon as we get married.
00:42:00Oh.
00:42:00So this will be the last time I see my friends for the next 18 years.
00:42:07That's so sad.
00:42:08I know.
00:42:09Don't say that.
00:42:10I agree.
00:42:10The fact is that we're getting older and we're not gonna have a lot more weekends like this.
00:42:14We're not 80 years old.
00:42:15This is not your last hurrah.
00:42:17Do you know what a bachelor party is?
00:42:18By definition, it is a last hurrah.
00:42:20I think you're being dramatic.
00:42:22I don't think so.
00:42:26Maybe we get another drink?
00:42:28Yes.
00:42:28Is that an awful idea?
00:42:29No, it's a good idea.
00:42:31Okay, twist your arm?
00:42:31Yeah, twist my arm.
00:42:33I don't really do the whole American idealization of excess, supersized thing.
00:42:37Well, except when it comes to real estate because tiny homes scare me.
00:42:41Oh.
00:42:43Beijing.
00:42:45Hold those.
00:42:49What's his deal?
00:42:51Oh, he's a good dude.
00:42:52And he's like low-key rich now, too.
00:42:54But he only dates models.
00:42:56Sorry.
00:42:57Hey, um, are you single?
00:43:00Yeah, I'm single.
00:43:02Same.
00:43:03I mean, me and my boys have like a strict no-dating policy for junior year.
00:43:07I love that.
00:43:08I wish my friends got that.
00:43:11Could you maybe put in a good word with, uh, Tommy?
00:43:14Like the date?
00:43:15No.
00:43:16I'll like to smash.
00:43:17Yeah, I'll like to smash.
00:43:20Yeah, I'll ask him.
00:43:21Less of an ask and more of a temperature check.
00:43:23Just check it out for me.
00:43:25It's my mission to get you kissing.
00:43:28Oh!
00:43:29Phil!
00:43:30Tommy!
00:43:30Family fireball shots!
00:43:33Oh, fuck.
00:43:55I forgot to vote.
00:43:57Uh-uh.
00:43:58Guys, there's nothing open.
00:43:59We really don't need to force the night.
00:44:00No, no, no.
00:44:02We said all-nighter.
00:44:04We did.
00:44:04I feel like Tommy and Delaney still need to clap cheeks.
00:44:07What are you talking about?
00:44:09Nothing.
00:44:09He's drunk.
00:44:10Ignore him.
00:44:11Well, we would invite you back to the Pelican Palace bar.
00:44:13Uh, but it is, I've been told, an out-of-order vending machine in the parking lot.
00:44:19Mm.
00:44:19So, they can't host.
00:44:21That's correct.
00:44:21They can't host.
00:44:22Do you-
00:44:24You guys, should we just call it?
00:44:26Yes.
00:44:26No!
00:44:27No, let's go to ours.
00:44:30What about Dougie?
00:44:32I don't know.
00:44:34We'll be quiet.
00:44:38Sorry.
00:44:39This is the only room in the house without cameras.
00:44:41I have cash.
00:44:42Yeah, I think, uh, I think I should probably take Phil home.
00:44:45No.
00:44:46No.
00:44:47You should stay here.
00:44:49Charlie and Katie, they'll be back any second.
00:44:51I'm friends with Danny.
00:44:52Or, we could play a game.
00:44:55You guys ever heard of Twister?
00:44:57Oh, man.
00:44:59The beta thighs brought it to, uh, the hockey house last spring.
00:45:03No, uh, seriously, I told Phil's wife I'd watch him.
00:45:06I think it's time for us to go, Phil.
00:45:08I'm good.
00:45:09Chill.
00:45:10Come on, we'll go back to the hotel.
00:45:11I think we should get Phil coffee.
00:45:12Phil, do you want a coffee?
00:45:13Don't fucking touch me.
00:45:14Haha.
00:45:15Alright, yeah, let's get Phil coffee.
00:45:18Is that okay?
00:45:19Yeah, go get me fucking coffee and get out of here.
00:45:22Great, let's get Phil coffee.
00:45:23Bye.
00:45:24This guy fucking thinks he knows what it's like to fucking live in a house with three women.
00:45:28No offense, you're awesome.
00:45:30Ooh, a smooth banana IPA.
00:45:34That could be your wedding drink.
00:45:36Like your bride's signature cocktail.
00:45:37I'm not doing any of that stuff.
00:45:40Right.
00:45:41Because you're like, cool bride.
00:45:43Yes.
00:45:44Yes, that's right.
00:45:45What's your signature cocktail?
00:45:47Well, I'm a cool groom, so I can't do that.
00:45:50Oh.
00:45:50You might actually be too cool of a groom if it takes you seven years to propose.
00:45:57Look, love happens in its own time.
00:46:00Oh, right.
00:46:00It's, you know, I don't make the timetable, love makes the timetable.
00:46:03And that's what you told her?
00:46:04Yeah.
00:46:04Yes, that's what I told her.
00:46:05And how much time did that buy you?
00:46:07Seven years.
00:46:09Ah, ah, ah, I think.
00:46:12What made you wait so long?
00:46:14I just wasn't sure.
00:46:17About your fiance?
00:46:18About any of it.
00:46:19I just, I just didn't know if that's what I wanted.
00:46:22You know, I just think it's this thing that we all think we're supposed to do,
00:46:25because everybody else does it, but we never stop and ask ourselves if it's what we actually want.
00:46:30And then I realized that I did want it, and I do want kids, and that eventually I just had
00:46:37to get out of my own way and find somebody that I liked, and use good judgment, and be smart,
00:46:42and just, you know, pick them and be happy.
00:46:48So romantic.
00:46:49I don't care if you don't think it's romantic.
00:46:51It's honest, and honesty is what sustains a marriage.
00:46:55It's not romance.
00:46:57I mean, you actually don't think that there's one person for everyone?
00:47:03I'm sorry, you can't be serious.
00:47:05What?
00:47:06One person for everyone?
00:47:07No, of course not.
00:47:08I think there are millions of people that we can connect with.
00:47:11It's just a matter of when you meet them.
00:47:13We're not marrying these people because of timing.
00:47:17Don't say we're marrying them because of soulmates, because I'll leave you here with those beers.
00:47:25We are marrying them because we love them.
00:47:29Yes.
00:47:31I mean, right?
00:47:33I said yes.
00:47:35I, you're not selling me.
00:47:37Do you know?
00:47:38That's not my job.
00:47:40This coffee expired six years ago.
00:47:43Coffee doesn't expire.
00:47:44I got cash money, baby girl.
00:47:46Remember that stuff from the 90s?
00:47:48We'll give it some tap butter, okay?
00:47:49Or like Windex or something.
00:47:50Would you like to share a glass of wine?
00:47:52What?
00:47:54Someone found a speaker.
00:47:56Connect.
00:47:57No, I have to conserve my battery for the Uber so we can leave.
00:48:00You remember leaving?
00:48:01You can use my phone for the music.
00:48:03No offense, but you probably don't have my kind of music on your phone, so.
00:48:07What, what kind of music do you like?
00:48:09House.
00:48:09But a very specific kind of house.
00:48:11I like specific house.
00:48:13My God.
00:48:14Just listen to your music, okay?
00:48:16Are you?
00:48:16Put on your phone.
00:48:16I'm fine.
00:48:17Are you?
00:48:17Put on your phone, I'm fine.
00:48:19Oh, Tommy.
00:48:22I'm coming, Tommy.
00:48:28I'm gonna make two glasses of wine still for if anyone wants to stay and drink it with me.
00:48:34Hey.
00:48:43Hey.
00:49:01Delaney, can you fire for some pizzas, hon?
00:49:05For the guys, at least?
00:49:07I mean, I'm happy to host those.
00:49:09Yeah, you don't seem anxious about it at all.
00:49:10Well, I'm just a little worried.
00:49:12If I get a bad review, that is on you.
00:49:13What is with you in this review?
00:49:15Are you in some sort of legal bind?
00:49:18No, no, but...
00:49:19I will write you a comment if they give you a shitty review.
00:49:22Oh, oh.
00:49:24Um, we could just go back to my hotel, if you want.
00:49:28I mean, just say the word.
00:49:32Charlie, I can't.
00:49:34I'm engaged, you know?
00:49:37Trust me.
00:49:41I feel it, too, but there's not...
00:49:43Uh, I'm sorry, I meant, like, I meant all of us would go back to my hotel, like, instead
00:49:50of you hosting here, just because you seemed anxious about it?
00:49:53Yeah, no, I'm...
00:49:55I'm so sorry, um, just because we'd been flirting, so I thought that you were...
00:49:59I wasn't suggesting that you and I would go back alone to my hotel.
00:50:03I hope I wasn't giving off that impression.
00:50:06I mean, did you think the friendly banter meant that I was gonna, like, cheat on my fiance?
00:50:10No.
00:50:12No.
00:50:19I gotta...
00:50:20Okay.
00:50:21That's a fad, dude.
00:50:26Delaney, what the fuck are you doing?
00:50:28We said we'd stay in the bedroom.
00:50:30Delaney!
00:50:31Phil, buddy, time to go.
00:50:33Finally.
00:50:33Yeah, let's go.
00:50:34No.
00:50:34Stay.
00:50:35You can go to my room.
00:50:36I'll make it fun.
00:50:37No.
00:50:38No, thanks.
00:50:39Is it because I'm not a model?
00:50:40No, because I don't share a genuine connection with you, and it feels weird to lead you on.
00:50:44Oh, fuck you.
00:50:45You know, I came here to celebrate an important time in Charlie's life.
00:50:49I tried to politely keep my distance so I could spend time with my friends, who I never see,
00:50:53but you inserted yourself into our plans and put us all in a very weird situation.
00:50:58So, honestly, fuck you, Delaney.
00:51:00No.
00:51:01No.
00:51:02No, no, no.
00:51:03Fuck you, Tommy.
00:51:05Fuck you.
00:51:06Because that, that's the dopest girl that I've ever met.
00:51:10And you may not get her.
00:51:13But I do.
00:51:22I think I love you.
00:51:29What?
00:51:31What are you talking about?
00:51:34What?
00:51:35No, no, no, no, no.
00:51:36What is going on here?
00:51:38Who are these people?
00:51:39Mom's house?
00:51:40Can you not?
00:51:41On the art?
00:51:42I'm sorry.
00:51:43I'm sorry.
00:51:43They are about to leave.
00:51:45Additional guests?
00:51:46Shoes inside?
00:51:47Alcohol?
00:51:49You agreed to the rules.
00:51:51I know.
00:51:51I know.
00:51:52I'm sorry.
00:51:52There were a lot of rules.
00:51:54And honestly, no alcohol is crazy.
00:51:55So.
00:51:56Yeah.
00:51:56Because I don't want to relapse again.
00:51:58I'm two years sober.
00:52:00What is wrong with you people?
00:52:01This is my house.
00:52:02It kills me that I have to rent this out.
00:52:05But with my mom's leftover medical bills, I don't really have.
00:52:13Really?
00:52:13Charlie, I'm not going to not do the coke.
00:52:18Hi.
00:52:19Hi.
00:52:20We're here for Big Dick Phil.
00:52:23Oh my God.
00:52:24I'm him.
00:52:26Phil, please tell me that you didn't hire...
00:52:28Delaney said I could.
00:52:29I said he could.
00:52:30Because guess what?
00:52:31All guys like strippers, Katie.
00:52:33Even your lover, Charlie.
00:52:35Okay.
00:52:35Well, he's not my lover.
00:52:36I mean, you have been eye-fucking her all week, dude.
00:52:39See?
00:52:40Whoa.
00:52:41What about my sister?
00:52:43Let's not chill.
00:52:44What are you talking about?
00:52:45She's engaged.
00:52:49You knew?
00:52:52Charlie knew.
00:52:54Hey, we're drunk, okay?
00:52:55Let's not talk about this right now.
00:52:57You don't want to talk about how you hid your engagement from me for an entire weekend?
00:53:01Can you stop?
00:53:02How you put our phones in a kitchen drawer?
00:53:05Stop.
00:53:05You're a psycho.
00:53:06Hey, you're a fucking bitch.
00:53:09Okay, this is just sad.
00:53:10I can't dance here.
00:53:11Same.
00:53:12Friendship stuff is super triggering.
00:53:15Yeah.
00:53:23Okay.
00:53:24I got another girl, but it'll take her 45 minutes to get here.
00:53:28Get out!
00:53:29You get out.
00:53:32You're a pervert.
00:53:34You filmed us.
00:53:38Pervert, pervert, pervert, pervert, pervert, pervert, pervert.
00:53:45You're creepy!
00:53:47You don't treat guests this way!
00:53:52Everywhere's closed, Delaney.
00:53:54I'm talking to you.
00:53:55Okay, but nowhere's open.
00:53:56You don't know everything.
00:54:04Oh, hello.
00:54:07I'll have one pizza for one person.
00:54:12I can go home.
00:54:16He says it's going to be five minutes, so...
00:54:18You didn't want to know what type of pizza?
00:54:20I always hear pepperoni, and they always know, so...
00:54:23Yeah, I didn't hear a credit card number.
00:54:26I'm paying cash and stuff.
00:54:54Tommy took my charger into his room, and...
00:54:58I know, but...
00:55:00All right, well, Kyle's also not exactly the most reliable narrator.
00:55:07I can't.
00:55:09Look, I'm going to be home in a few hours.
00:55:14No, I'm here.
00:55:19No, I'm here.
00:55:19No, my service is fine.
00:55:20I'm going to...
00:55:21I'll be home in a few hours, and then we can talk, okay?
00:55:32I'm ready.
00:55:34Ready.
00:55:36Four hours and 37 minutes to destination.
00:56:34Can you please talk about last night?
00:56:37About what?
00:56:40About all of it. I mean...
00:56:44Do you remember any of it?
00:56:46I know you can black out big chunks when you drink like that.
00:56:53I remember that you lied to me about getting engaged. I remember that.
00:56:58I tried to tell you that first night I had this whole thing planned.
00:57:02It's the whole reason we did the trip.
00:57:05You lied to me all weekend.
00:57:08No, I tried to tell you all weekend.
00:57:11Another lie. That's great.
00:57:13Why do you always lie? Honestly, you lie to me all the time.
00:57:16I'm not a liar. It's just really hard to be honest with you.
00:57:20I mean, you hate everything. You hate everyone.
00:57:23I don't hate everyone.
00:57:25Admit you hate John.
00:57:27Admit it! You've never liked him. You roll your eyes when you talk. You don't laugh at his jokes.
00:57:31I don't know why he's so sweet, but you have always hated him.
00:57:34I hate how boring he makes you.
00:57:35Boring?
00:57:36Why? Because I don't want to babysit your fucking benders.
00:57:38At least I'm not stuck in some sad routine.
00:57:41I'm not sad. I'm happy.
00:57:43You look happy.
00:57:45Why don't you call it? I'm serious. Why don't you leave the city?
00:57:49Go drown your personality in white wine with Gwen.
00:57:52That sounds better than staying here and wasting it with you one weekend at a time.
00:57:58Why don't you try caring about something?
00:58:01Why don't you try making a fucking effort?
00:58:06Why don't you grow up?
00:58:07I am growing up!
00:58:08You still do cocaine!
00:58:10Doing cocaine is fun, Katie!
00:58:11Okay. Yeah, well, maybe we're too different now.
00:58:17Yeah.
00:58:18Maybe we are.
00:58:26Get out.
00:58:33Hey, there she is.
00:58:35How you doing?
00:58:36You feeling okay?
00:58:37Yeah. Let's go out of the shower.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:44What?
00:58:45Keep the head away from me
00:58:49Taking light and taking grief
00:58:54Had a get in here.
00:58:56I keep the hurt I'd rather fear
00:59:01And watch the shadow from my knees
00:59:08Mmmmm.
00:59:12There were two pigs, okay, and they're in the same pit of mud.
00:59:16And the wife pig turns over to the husband pig, and she says,
00:59:19Have you seen Farmer Joe's pants lately?
00:59:28Why would you cancel?
00:59:30The husband goes, Oh, that's so funny. I thought he said pork chop.
00:59:43Thank you so much, everyone, for the next time.
00:59:54Oops, did a thing. Officially secured Series B Fundy for my startup.
01:00:02Anything posted that?
01:00:04Oh, oh, oh, um, Elon Musk.
01:00:10Uh, no, no, it's someone we know.
01:00:12Oh, oh, uh, um, I give up.
01:00:19Okay, um, no, it was Diane's date from New Year's.
01:00:24No, I don't even think I've met her.
01:00:26Oh, is she friends with Delaney?
01:00:28Speaking of which, is Delaney coming to dinner this weekend?
01:00:32I don't think so.
01:00:35Why?
01:00:36Well, we're going to fight.
01:00:38The two of you are fighting.
01:00:40Yeah.
01:00:40That's maybe never happened in the history of the world.
01:00:44What happened?
01:00:44Um, it's very dumb. It was about the engagement.
01:00:47Oh.
01:00:50I, so I, I never actually told her. She found out on my phone and went ballistic and got wasted.
01:00:57Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean? You didn't tell her that?
01:00:58I mean, remember I tried and you called, so I couldn't really. And then I tried later that night and
01:01:02it got extremely weird.
01:01:03No, no, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't do that.
01:01:06I let you wait until the perfect moment to tell her how you wanted to tell her. And you said
01:01:12you would do that on the trip.
01:01:13You told me you would handle that on the trip so we could start planning our wedding.
01:01:17I mean, you're a little obsessed with planning the wedding.
01:01:19Well, yeah, I want to celebrate our marriage with our family and our friends.
01:01:23No offense. I, I don't think you really get it. You know, I don't think you get me and Delaney
01:01:27exactly. I don't think you could.
01:01:28How do you, how do you say that? I've been nothing but accommodating to you and your friend. She has
01:01:34a drawer in our dresser.
01:01:36You said that was fun.
01:01:36It, it was. It is. But I just want to know when you're going to choose us, right? When, when
01:01:44you will stop bending our lives together for Delaney.
01:01:48It's not just Delaney.
01:01:50Hold on. No, no, no, no. What do you, what do you, what do you mean?
01:01:53You know, marriage can really change your life. And, and a lot of times it's for the better.
01:01:59Which I think will be, you know, our case. And I'm very excited, of course, but there's just a lot
01:02:04of changes.
01:02:04Like, for example, you know, eventually we will probably want to move out of the city and that's fine.
01:02:08And I'm, you know, we'll do that for you. And you go out there and then all of a sudden
01:02:13all your friends are married couples that moved out there too.
01:02:16And, and nobody knew you before you were a married couple.
01:02:18So it's actually a bit like you didn't exist before you were part of a married couple. So that's the
01:02:23new you.
01:02:23I'm just, I'm just, I'm just going to stop you. I don't even know what to believe in the world.
01:02:29John!
01:02:34So, anyways, popcorn to Delaney.
01:02:37I didn't have any peaks this week.
01:02:41Well, a week of valleys spends time in our cal eventually. Everything okay?
01:02:46Yeah, it's, everything's okay.
01:02:49Delaney, we're here if you ever want to share, obviously, but you seem to hate peaks and valleys, so.
01:02:53I don't hate peaks and valleys.
01:02:56Really? Once you thought you were muted and you screamed fuck when we started playing the game.
01:03:02Okay, fine.
01:03:06My valley was...
01:03:10My best friend lied to me about getting engaged.
01:03:16What?
01:03:19Wow. Wow, that is a deep valley. Very deep.
01:03:24Okay, let's dive into this. Let's dive into this. Come on, we're here for you.
01:03:30Wow, your hair. I always pictured, pictured you as a blonde.
01:03:35Look at you!
01:03:37Okay, so wait, tell me everything. Who is this fiance? What's his name?
01:03:41John.
01:03:42Where's John from?
01:03:44Yep, John.
01:03:46The Midwest.
01:03:47What state?
01:03:48Minneapolis.
01:03:51Michigan or Minnesota. It's an M. I just, I can't remember right now.
01:03:56You seem like you must hate him.
01:03:58I don't hate him.
01:04:00I don't hate John.
01:04:01That's very nice. It's your best friend, so you're trying to be nice.
01:04:03But like, what did he do? He obviously cheated.
01:04:06He obviously...
01:04:06He cheated. He did cheat. Alex, he cheated.
01:04:09John did not cheat. John's not a cheater.
01:04:11He's totally obsessed with her.
01:04:15But too obsessed, probably.
01:04:18No.
01:04:19No.
01:04:20No, to where it's like, true crime.
01:04:23No.
01:04:25He treats her really well. He's a very good guy.
01:04:28So he treats her well?
01:04:32Yeah, he treats her well.
01:04:35Wait, and she, is she like, happy with him?
01:04:41Yeah.
01:04:44Okay, wait. Sorry for the disconnect here, but what's the problem?
01:04:49And the toy guy said that that's the most popular thing he sells.
01:04:52Yeah, no, the kids wanted one of these.
01:04:54Hmm.
01:04:54I just got them a new globe, but never enough.
01:04:58So, where's John?
01:04:59He's a work thing.
01:05:01Oh, did he decide if he wanted the chicken or lamb skewers for the cocktail hour?
01:05:05Shoot, I'll ask him. I'm not sure.
01:05:07If you get that thing wet, it turns blue.
01:05:10So he's rehabbing brittle hips after sundown?
01:05:13He's really burning the midnight oil.
01:05:16And, um, if you wanted to go back to red again, you just put it in the sun.
01:05:20Is there trouble in paradise?
01:05:23You can't hide from an empath, little sister.
01:05:27Um, Delaney and I got into a fight, and now John and I are in a bit of a fight
01:05:34about that fight.
01:05:35Of course. No, no, no. We all saw this coming.
01:05:38You know, you guys are emotionally stunted.
01:05:41Daria says you both have arrested development.
01:05:43I never said that very much.
01:05:44So you just happened to leave your notebook open to a page that said never individuated into adulthood?
01:05:48Did you find the key to my office again?
01:05:50It doesn't matter. Look, the medical fact is you guys are basically still kids
01:05:53who are clinging on to each other in the cafeteria of life.
01:05:56You're emotionally stunted.
01:06:00Oh, that's a very mature response, Katie. Do you see what I'm saying?
01:06:04You're stunted.
01:06:05It's so rich coming from you.
01:06:07Look, I'm sorry. I really hate to be the one to have to tell you this,
01:06:10but it might actually be time for you to grow up.
01:06:13We have all had to.
01:06:15Did we? I mean, did we all have to?
01:06:17You were like 40 years old and you still blame everything on our parents.
01:06:20You're emotionally stunted, not me. Tell him, Daria.
01:06:23No, no, no, Daria. Tell her that she's narcissistic like Dad.
01:06:25Do you know that the DSM-5 defines narcissism as a personality disorder?
01:06:30Right, Daria?
01:06:31A cluster B personality disorder, which I think we can both agree you have.
01:06:34Oh, I have a personality disorder? Yeah, obviously.
01:06:36Oh my God, you're delusional. You're literally medically delusional.
01:06:40You're certifiable. Daria, tell him. You have every symptom. Tell him, tell him.
01:06:44Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!
01:06:51Today I listened to a man detail an intense reptilian fetish that's ruining his marriage.
01:06:58And I had to tell him, no, that's not weird.
01:07:01Do you want an iguana to act as a third?
01:07:05A girl ate rocks in front of me.
01:07:09And I had to tell a mother who told me that she lost her pregnancy.
01:07:14I had to promise her that she would get over it one day.
01:07:19Do you guys want a medical diagnosis?
01:07:23You are both ungrateful shits!
01:07:37I can't believe she said all that stuff about her patients.
01:07:42I mean, isn't that supposed to be, like, really private?
01:07:46Okay.
01:07:48I know we didn't have the ideal childhood.
01:07:53But you cannot keep using it as an excuse.
01:07:57I mean, come on.
01:07:59Can you be the adult for once?
01:08:03Can you help me for once?
01:08:07Things are gonna be okay with John.
01:08:12I don't know, actually.
01:08:15Yeah, he's...
01:08:17He's really mad.
01:08:18People get mad, Katie.
01:08:21It's part of life, and it's gonna be a long road if you walk around trying to make everything nice
01:08:26for everybody all the time.
01:08:27You've gotta be honest.
01:08:30I know...
01:08:32what Delaney means to you.
01:08:34And I know how much she was there for you when you were kids.
01:08:36And yes, I maybe thought that you were freaks.
01:08:40But what you had was special.
01:08:42You guys had a great run.
01:08:48So maybe it's okay that it's over.
01:08:52Sometimes the past can't last.
01:08:57Pass me to my poem journal. Hurry up.
01:09:01Quick, quick, quick, quick.
01:09:04Okay, I made a guest list.
01:09:06Pretty much everyone who's coming is cool except for, like, one other assistant from my office.
01:09:10Have I shown you her grid before?
01:09:12She posts so much emo shit.
01:09:15It's like, we get that you have cancer.
01:09:17Maybe she won't support.
01:09:19What?
01:09:20What?
01:09:21Well, we're seeing it helps other people.
01:09:24Oh, it doesn't help me.
01:09:25I meant other sick people.
01:09:28Right.
01:09:29Wait, how much do we hate Katie?
01:09:31Like, we haven't talked about this at all.
01:09:33Yeah.
01:09:34What she did wasn't great.
01:09:37You know what I always say.
01:09:39Hate motivates.
01:09:41Liking stuff.
01:09:42I can motivate too.
01:09:43No, liking stuff is for sheep.
01:09:46Plus, hating stuff is like our thing.
01:09:47We both know the whole world sucks.
01:09:50The whole world sucks?
01:09:52Yeah.
01:10:01I think I need to leave.
01:10:03I mean, same. This place is a shithole.
01:10:05Like, it's obviously a temporary situation.
01:10:07No.
01:10:09I just don't want to be around you anymore.
01:10:14I hate that we love to hate people.
01:10:17It makes me feel sick.
01:10:20And I want to feel good.
01:10:23I want to be happy.
01:10:25I want to be happy for other people.
01:10:26I want to be happy for my family.
01:10:28I want to be happy for my friends.
01:10:33But I don't know how to do that.
01:10:35I don't know how to be happy for people.
01:10:46Did you, like, write that in your notes app to say to me?
01:10:48That's so fucking lame, Delaney.
01:10:53Okay, bye.
01:10:58Just keep breathing.
01:11:00Oh, okay.
01:11:01Other side.
01:11:03One second, sorry.
01:11:07Delaney.
01:11:10Hi.
01:11:11What happened?
01:11:12Is everyone okay?
01:11:14What? Yeah.
01:11:17Um...
01:11:19Then, um...
01:11:20Why are you here?
01:11:25Where are you from?
01:11:31Uh...
01:11:31Illinois.
01:11:34I knew that.
01:11:38Did you like it there in Illinois?
01:11:42Do you mind?
01:11:44Sure.
01:11:46Okay.
01:11:47What is it?
01:11:51What is this?
01:11:53Yeah.
01:11:56Um...
01:11:57Yeah, I lived in Illinois pretty much my whole life.
01:12:01High school, college.
01:12:03Go Phoenixes.
01:12:05It was our college mascot.
01:12:07Yeah, my whole family went there.
01:12:08And I am so sorry that I didn't tell you that I was going to propose to Katie.
01:12:15It's okay.
01:12:18Probably made you hate me even more.
01:12:20I... never hated you.
01:12:22I hated you existed.
01:12:26That was... I...
01:12:27Right.
01:12:30You never did anything wrong.
01:12:34I did...
01:12:36Everything to make it...
01:12:38Incredibly weird for you.
01:12:40And I'm... I'm... really sorry.
01:12:47I'm really happy it's you.
01:12:52I will, uh, let you back to work.
01:12:55Yeah, yeah.
01:12:57We're... we're actually...
01:12:59In a fight.
01:13:01She lied to me...
01:13:03About telling you.
01:13:04And I just don't understand why she can't be...
01:13:08Honest...
01:13:08With me.
01:13:10I don't know.
01:13:14Maybe she's...
01:13:16Afraid of losing us.
01:13:18Or maybe it's...
01:13:21Trying to protect us.
01:13:23You really don't know?
01:13:28I do know that...
01:13:33Getting older is...
01:13:35Really scary.
01:13:44I'm not paying for this.
01:13:46I got his card on file.
01:13:48Oh...
01:13:51Can we talk?
01:13:53I mean, what... what are we doing?
01:13:54I... I...
01:13:55I can't take more silent treatment.
01:14:00That's my client, Jerry.
01:14:05Uh...
01:14:05Yeah, I know Jerry.
01:14:08Do you know his wife, Marlene?
01:14:10You know, they've been married for years.
01:14:12Lived in four states.
01:14:14Three countries.
01:14:15They got divorced.
01:14:18Got back together.
01:14:20Lived in next door houses.
01:14:22Just for their own space.
01:14:24Until they built this place.
01:14:28Together.
01:14:31I don't know what the rest of our lives will look like.
01:14:34But it can be whatever we want it to be.
01:14:37I love you.
01:14:39I love you.
01:14:39I love you too.
01:14:41I'm sorry.
01:14:43I'm sorry...
01:14:45I'm sorry I lied.
01:14:48And I'm gonna do better.
01:14:50I know.
01:14:51I know, she told me.
01:14:53Who?
01:14:55Delaney.
01:14:57Um...
01:14:58When... when did you see Delaney?
01:15:01Today.
01:15:02She came by the office.
01:15:04Why?
01:15:05She's like...
01:15:06What?
01:15:07Like returning the stuff I had in her apartment?
01:15:09Or...
01:15:11She...
01:15:13Wanted to know where I was from.
01:15:17Yeah?
01:15:21Actually...
01:15:25Go get your girl.
01:15:29Go on.
01:15:30Yeah.
01:15:31Yeah.
01:15:35Open up your gate.
01:15:37There you go.
01:16:03Right.
01:16:05Go on.
01:16:07Yeah.
01:16:08Do you want...
01:16:10Go on!
01:16:11Katie?
01:16:12No.
01:16:13There's a list.
01:16:14And you're not the aesthetic.
01:16:15And honestly, even if you were, there's already a Jennifer here and you can't like,
01:16:18Have a Jennifer and a Katie, you know?
01:16:20Yeah, okay, um, Roxy, I know you think I'm lame, but I know that you're miserable, and that's why you're
01:16:27so mean.
01:16:28I feel bad for you, okay?
01:16:32Yeah, same.
01:16:35Yeah, where's Delaney?
01:16:37Where do you think?
01:16:40Fuck.
01:16:44Occupied!
01:16:46Occupied!
01:16:46Delaney, drop the drugs!
01:16:48I said occupied!
01:16:53So, I was gonna...
01:16:54Sorry, um, can I go first?
01:16:56Because I'm feeling brave, and that might go away.
01:17:01What?
01:17:08I look at you, and I feel like we are still 12 years old.
01:17:13And I really love that.
01:17:16But we're not 12 years old anymore.
01:17:20And we can't spend every second together anymore.
01:17:26And we don't like all the same things anymore, as much as I try to fight that.
01:17:32And I want to get married.
01:17:35And I want to have kids.
01:17:38And I want to save pictures of bathroom renovations I like.
01:17:45And I want to make little dishes for my keys.
01:17:49And I want to move out of the city.
01:17:50And I know you don't want that stuff.
01:17:52And I know you don't want that stuff.
01:17:53You don't even like that stuff, actually.
01:17:55And you don't even really like people who do.
01:18:00Just scary.
01:18:06And I didn't tell you about the engagement, because I was afraid you wouldn't be happy for me.
01:18:12And that would just break my heart beyond repair.
01:18:18And I'm so happy about this next chapter of my life, but I'm terrified that you don't want to be
01:18:23a part of it.
01:18:27And I know I really messed up by lying.
01:18:31And I'm really, really sorry.
01:18:35And if things are different now, I understand.
01:18:40And if we end up parting ways, I just wanted to say thank you.
01:18:51Being your best friend has just been the highlight of my life.
01:18:59And I think we're really lucky to have lasted as long as we did.
01:19:19Well, it's not every day your kid's sister gets married.
01:19:22I'm incredibly honored to be here.
01:19:24And I was asked to put a couple words together and to try to capture the spirit of marriage
01:19:30and what it means to our civilization.
01:19:33And particularly what it means to these two very special people.
01:19:38So I've done my best.
01:19:40And I think you'll agree.
01:19:45Love's passion.
01:19:47Always in fashion.
01:19:50French kissing.
01:19:52Sad to be missing.
01:19:55Willows swaying.
01:19:57Children playing.
01:19:58Love will find a way.
01:20:03Today.
01:20:05Forevermore.
01:20:07Into Dawn, Katie, and John.
01:20:13You have truly won.
01:20:16The game.
01:20:30Thank you for that beautiful poem, Henry.
01:20:38Okay.
01:20:40Let's do this.
01:20:43Dearly beloved.
01:20:56This is so crazy.
01:20:58You spend more time with, like, a hairdresser than you do with, like, your best friends.
01:21:03100%.
01:21:04My eyebrow woman is closer to me.
01:21:06I text her.
01:21:07We're on texting basis.
01:21:08Yeah.
01:21:09Girl, I got what you desire.
01:21:17Girl, I got a love key to light your fire.
01:21:22Oh, girl.
01:21:24And then give that a song.
01:21:27It's, like, really fun.
01:21:28Just to, like, sleep, right?
01:21:30To be in bed for a full 24 hours.
01:21:34People say that's depression.
01:21:36I say that's a luxury.
01:21:37Exactly.
01:21:38Yeah.
01:21:38100%.
01:21:38100%.
01:22:00Kind of depressing.
01:22:05It is.
01:22:06Well, that's what they tell you at school.
01:22:08You never listen.
01:22:09You know?
01:22:10That, like...
01:22:11You're like, that won't be me.
01:22:13No good.
01:22:14No good.
01:22:15Never cheat on you, baby.
01:22:18Oh, no, no.
01:22:20Just say I'm born.
01:22:23I'm fostering a bass and ham this week.
01:22:26Oh, God.
01:22:27I know.
01:22:27So running around.
01:22:29I need it.
01:22:30I honestly, I cannot even stand it.
01:22:33I need it here.
01:22:35Just say I'm born and born.
01:22:53I'm fostering a bass and ham this week.
01:22:55I'm fostering a bass and ham this week.
01:22:57Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:23:03I need it.
01:23:04I need it.
01:23:05I need it.
01:23:07You
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