🏘️ Zero Stars (2026) - Season 1 Episode 2
When the internet turns, there's no escape. In Episode 2 "The Backlash", the zero-star review goes viral — and with it, a wave of public outrage that threatens to destroy not just a business, but a life. As doxxing, harassment, and cancel culture collide, the accused must decide: fight back, disappear, or tell the truth. But in a world where perception is reality, does the truth even matter anymore?
🔹 Episode Highlights:
• Viral escalation: social media algorithms amplify outrage beyond control
• Personal toll: family, friends, and colleagues react to the public storm
• Digital detective work: tracing the review's origin through IP logs & metadata
• Moral crossroads: the accused weighs confession, denial, or counterattack
• Signature Zero Stars tension: technology, trauma & the cost of going viral
🔹 Series Info:
• Format: Drama / Social Thriller / Character-Driven Serial
• Original Network: [Streaming Platform] / International Distribution
• Season: 1 | Episode: 2 | Title: "The Backlash"
• Setting: Modern Urban Setting | Language: English
• Runtime: ~42-45 minutes
🎧 Prefer audio? Listen to drama recaps & social commentary podcasts on Spotify, Apple Podcasts.
👉 Enjoying the series? Hit LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and comment: "Would you fight back or stay silent? 👇" Turn on notifications 🔔 for Episode 3!
#ShowTVMovies #ZeroStars #SocialThriller #TheBacklash #S01E02 #ViralDrama #CancelCulture #BingeWatch #StreamingOriginal #DigitalAge
⚠️ Copyright Disclaimer: This video is shared for promotional, review, and informational purposes only. All rights to "Zero Stars" belong to the respective producers and networks. This upload complies with Fair Use guidelines (Section 107, U.S. Copyright Act). No copyright infringement intended.
When the internet turns, there's no escape. In Episode 2 "The Backlash", the zero-star review goes viral — and with it, a wave of public outrage that threatens to destroy not just a business, but a life. As doxxing, harassment, and cancel culture collide, the accused must decide: fight back, disappear, or tell the truth. But in a world where perception is reality, does the truth even matter anymore?
🔹 Episode Highlights:
• Viral escalation: social media algorithms amplify outrage beyond control
• Personal toll: family, friends, and colleagues react to the public storm
• Digital detective work: tracing the review's origin through IP logs & metadata
• Moral crossroads: the accused weighs confession, denial, or counterattack
• Signature Zero Stars tension: technology, trauma & the cost of going viral
🔹 Series Info:
• Format: Drama / Social Thriller / Character-Driven Serial
• Original Network: [Streaming Platform] / International Distribution
• Season: 1 | Episode: 2 | Title: "The Backlash"
• Setting: Modern Urban Setting | Language: English
• Runtime: ~42-45 minutes
🎧 Prefer audio? Listen to drama recaps & social commentary podcasts on Spotify, Apple Podcasts.
👉 Enjoying the series? Hit LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and comment: "Would you fight back or stay silent? 👇" Turn on notifications 🔔 for Episode 3!
#ShowTVMovies #ZeroStars #SocialThriller #TheBacklash #S01E02 #ViralDrama #CancelCulture #BingeWatch #StreamingOriginal #DigitalAge
⚠️ Copyright Disclaimer: This video is shared for promotional, review, and informational purposes only. All rights to "Zero Stars" belong to the respective producers and networks. This upload complies with Fair Use guidelines (Section 107, U.S. Copyright Act). No copyright infringement intended.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:05So you've been kayaking before?
00:07Only once on a school trip and I nearly died.
00:10What?
00:10They made us all capsize and I couldn't get back up.
00:13I stayed upside down.
00:15Are you serious?
00:17It's really traumatic.
00:18Every time I righted myself to gasp for air,
00:20I could see everyone in my class laughing.
00:22Why didn't you tell me that before I got on the kayak?
00:25It made me feel like she has a lot of confidence
00:27for someone who's already toppled a kayak
00:29and also...
00:30I think we should turn round now.
00:33Woo-hoo!
00:35We're here, baby.
00:37Most travellers avoid bad reviews.
00:39Let's see what the review says.
00:41One star.
00:41One star.
00:42I've never seen anything more stupid.
00:44If I could give it zero stars, I would.
00:46But not us.
00:47I'm a woman in a man's world. I make up my own mind.
00:50I'm Sarah Pascoe.
00:51I'm brilliant at this!
00:53I'm Roisin Conaty.
00:54Come on, fishy, fishy.
00:56We're comedians, but more importantly,
00:58best friends.
00:59As someone who has received bad reviews,
01:01I will always try to look to the good.
01:03So we're turning the tables on the review sites.
01:06They were so busy typing in their phone moaning
01:08that they forgot to look out.
01:09And visiting places based on the worst reviews.
01:12Come closer, it's nothing to be afraid of.
01:14My review is 100 stars.
01:17But will this journey of salvation be a five-star fun fest?
01:21I'm an absolute killer!
01:23Yes!
01:24Or are we in for a holiday from hell?
01:27Oh!
01:28Oh!
01:46Smell that air!
01:48Lovely air.
01:50Bergen.
01:51That question mark does make me doubt myself.
01:53Bergen? Is it?
01:55Bergen, it must be. They wouldn't have let us off the plane.
01:57Well, it's making me feel like, are you sure you want to get off here?
02:00Yeah. Oslo's not that far.
02:02You could go somewhere warmer.
02:05Do you know Norway well?
02:06I've been here before. Yeah?
02:07I ate reindeer. Oh, right, OK.
02:09And it tasted like fishy fruit, and I nearly vomited.
02:12Oh, no. Yeah, so don't be ordering that for me.
02:15I know you won't. I won't. I'm going to ruin Christmas.
02:18It's awful. Have you been here before, have you?
02:19Three times. It's so expensive here.
02:21I phoned my bank when I got back, cos I was drunk,
02:24and I'd gone and got snatched.
02:25And they're like, that's all your money gone.
02:26No, I was like, I didn't spend £100. They went, you did, in a 7-Eleven.
02:29Ten years of telly down the drain.
02:31Come there, let's go and have a nice expensive holiday.
02:35Norway. One reviewer said,
02:37every time we sat down to eat, £100 disappeared.
02:40Talk about the magic of the fjords.
02:44Norway is small, but exports a lot of gas
02:47for its size, hashtag relatable.
02:49This means high prices and high living standards.
02:51So cities like Bergen are full of swanky, fancy places to enjoy.
02:57And we won't be going to any of them.
03:00Really is in the middle of nowhere.
03:02Now I know why they're like, Bergen?
03:05Bergen? Are we still in Bergen?
03:08Idyllically located miles from anywhere.
03:11Pod Town.
03:14This isn't it, though.
03:17It says Pod Town.
03:18Your private space in a lively place.
03:20Lively's pushing it.
03:22This can't be it.
03:23This is all rusty.
03:24It's definitely it.
03:25The pictures make it look much more glamorous,
03:27much more like Japan.
03:28Sort of like Pod Living.
03:30OK.
03:31I've got a check-in instruction.
03:32OK.
03:33It's self-cleaning.
03:34It's fine.
03:35Self-cleaning?
03:35We have to clean it ourselves.
03:36There's no private toilet in the unit at the moment.
03:40However, a 24-hour gas station with restroom facilities
03:43is just a seven-minute walk away.
03:46I get up at least once for a wee in the night.
03:49Reviews?
03:50I mean...
03:50I mean, let's see what these people say.
03:52Three stars.
03:53Three stars!
03:55This is a decent place to stay in relation to the price.
03:57I think that's the thing.
03:58It's cheap, isn't it?
03:58Right, OK.
03:58It's Norway.
03:59It's only £4 billion.
04:00Yeah, I mean, this is cost the same as a sandwich here.
04:02We're in town for a wedding.
04:03It's a nice place, but to be a little impractical
04:05without a toilet and a bathroom.
04:07What?
04:07A little impractical?
04:09That's illegal.
04:10You can't hire out a hotel.
04:11We don't know the rules in Norway.
04:13Surely, worldwide.
04:14The UN has got to be honest.
04:16Aren't they?
04:16The important business.
04:17E-round the UN.
04:20Do you want to see it?
04:20Let's go in.
04:21Yeah.
04:21Let's try and be positive.
04:22We're in beautiful country.
04:24One reviewer said,
04:25I'd rather sleep in a barrel than use pod town again.
04:28Well, at least it's a bargain.
04:30We paid just £90 a night.
04:33Oh, Norway.
04:37Oh.
04:38OK, so it is...
04:39Oh.
04:40It is very...
04:41Sort of...
04:44..sci-fi inside.
04:45Look at these lovely chairs.
04:47It's a bit of a...
04:49..fucking mess.
04:53I'm sort of stunned.
04:55Where's the mattresses?
04:56And what's this bag of crap?
04:58There's a Coke thing.
04:59Oh, God, this is someone else's mess.
05:01Because they're meant to have cleaned it.
05:02There's brown stuff on that towels,
05:03and there's...
05:04That Coke has got lumps of something in it.
05:07It does smell.
05:09That might be my fear.
05:10Don't get in it.
05:11Oh, my God, is it moving?
05:13Oh, God.
05:16How can this be allowed?
05:18Sarah, there's a toilet.
05:19What do you mean there's no toilet?
05:20They said you have to go to the petrol station.
05:22They said there's no private toilets.
05:23What do you mean?
05:25Oh, my God.
05:26It's horrible.
05:27It's horrible.
05:29How does someone give it a three-star review?
05:32Does this work?
05:33The door...
05:33If this door button works...
05:35Oh, hello.
05:36Come on.
05:36Careful if you don't lock yourself in there.
05:38No, I'm just trying to see if the button...
05:39Mind the...
05:39Oh, there you go.
05:40A bit of privacy for the lady.
05:41Now I can have a wee.
05:43I'm just trying to see if this button works,
05:44but it doesn't.
05:49Can you not open it?
05:51Oh, I've locked myself in.
05:53Have I?
05:54Oh, no.
05:55Oh, no, you've locked yourself in.
05:56Help!
05:57Help!
05:57Help the murderer!
05:59I'm just holding it.
06:00How are you?
06:02Well, I thought we'd got to get some joy
06:04out of this absolute shit bit.
06:06It's about to me.
06:07Something felt up about Podtown,
06:09and it wasn't just the portable toilet full of piss.
06:13I'm just going to check.
06:14Oh, no, no, no, no.
06:15We're not in the right one.
06:17This is...
06:18This is our bathroom.
06:20What?
06:20This is our toilet.
06:22Oh.
06:23Oh, my God.
06:24How's this around the corner?
06:25Thank God for that.
06:27D8.
06:28D8.
06:28Oh, fingers crossed.
06:30Come on.
06:30Come on.
06:31Come on.
06:32Oh, Sarah.
06:34It's a win.
06:35It's clean.
06:35There's mattresses.
06:36Oh, nice.
06:38Oh, it's really nice.
06:40Luxury is not a pleasure,
06:41but pleasure is a luxury.
06:43Oh, it's lovely.
06:45And now we know we've got a private bathroom
06:47around the corner.
06:48There's an air outlet and a sleep mode light.
06:51Oh!
06:53Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
06:54This is lovely.
06:55This is what I was envisioning,
06:56and I like it very much.
06:58It's like when you've got an all-right boyfriend
07:00after a really bad man.
07:05We head into town for some food
07:07with a skip in our step.
07:08This is it.
07:09This is it.
07:10Taste of Norway, baby.
07:12Ladies first.
07:14Taste of Norway describes itself
07:15as an adventurous experience.
07:18So far, so concerning.
07:20Let me read a review to you.
07:22Two stars.
07:23The buffet was unexceptional
07:24and the decor frightful.
07:26By the way,
07:26the toilet offered the exotic view
07:28of a couple of pair of socks
07:30hung up to dry.
07:32That is very strange.
07:33I need to see these socks.
07:35Bring us to your socks.
07:37Come to the toilets with me.
07:38We've come to Norway.
07:38We want to see your socks.
07:43Oh.
07:44It's so clearly a display.
07:46It's really cute.
07:48What?
07:49People are absolute arseholes.
07:50Imagine giving a bad review.
07:53They've obviously never been
07:53to the theatre.
07:56If anything, I'd say it'd be good
07:58if they had a little woman
07:59sitting there.
08:00I'd go all in even more.
08:02So she's just sitting?
08:03You know, like you have
08:04a bathroom attendant,
08:05but I'd have her dressed
08:06in the gear like that.
08:07Your socks need washing?
08:09Well, this is it.
08:10Five stars.
08:11Wash your socks?
08:12Right.
08:13Let's go and have
08:13a bit of a taste of Norway.
08:16Taste of Norway offers
08:17a Norwegian buffet,
08:18two words I've never
08:20heard together.
08:21But surely it's the perfect
08:22way to enjoy
08:23Norwegian culinary delights
08:25like these slices of brown?
08:28Maybe our host can help.
08:30Hello.
08:31Hi, welcome.
08:33This is the buffet.
08:34We have four stations.
08:35This is the cold starch.
08:37Oh, okay.
08:38And I've just seen
08:38you serve whales.
08:40We do, we do.
08:41That's a whale.
08:42It's smaller than I thought.
08:44I don't think it's the whole thing.
08:46So what else are you killing?
08:47A reindeer.
08:48A moose.
08:48No one's safe in the woods
08:49or the water.
08:51Yeah.
08:51So I'm going to have
08:52a little bit of this
08:52because Sarah's vegan.
08:53Go ahead.
08:53Is there anything veggie
08:55then, do you reckon?
08:55So we have bread
08:56because this is a very
08:58typical Norwegian treat.
08:59I'll have the bread.
09:00Yeah, Sarah does
09:01all the bread eating.
09:01I do all the meat eating.
09:03Okay.
09:03How much am I allowed?
09:04Not too much.
09:05Oh, really?
09:05Whoa.
09:06Oh, it's really filling.
09:07Yeah.
09:07I'm a hungry girl.
09:09Sarah had the bread cupboard
09:10so it was down to me
09:11to taste every other
09:12taste of Norway there is.
09:15Hmm.
09:15Oh, what's this?
09:16That is a herring.
09:17Oh, I'll have a little bowl.
09:19This is called rømgrøt.
09:20Good enough for the Vikings?
09:21Good enough for me.
09:22Fish cakes?
09:23Yes, please.
09:24That looks delicious, actually.
09:26Reindeer meatballs.
09:27Why not?
09:28Fish soup.
09:28I'll have a bit of that as well.
09:29Get a couple of bits of those, Sarah.
09:31Oh, that's a good soup.
09:32Are you going to be okay with that?
09:33I'm hoping it is, yeah.
09:34I feel like I'm so greedy
09:35I've got to help.
09:36I don't normally get filmed
09:37at buffets
09:38and now I see why.
09:39This is a good trial
09:40for your only friends.
09:43Just that's enough, though.
09:44I've got to be a greedy gut.
09:46Right, Sarah, let's do this.
09:47Look at this.
09:48You've got, uh...
09:49Some flaps.
09:50So I'll get to my bread.
09:53You all right?
09:55You've got so much...
09:57How's that?
09:58Some of your fishy soup?
09:59I'll tell you what I've got.
10:01Fish.
10:02First up, a Scandi classic.
10:03Pickled herring.
10:05I feel like a feeder
10:06just watching you.
10:07Did you like that?
10:09A bit more.
10:12It's actually nice.
10:13No, no.
10:14Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
10:15Nice and then...
10:18Whoa.
10:19Spit it out.
10:24I just didn't drink it.
10:26I look like Hannibal Lecter.
10:28That's who I'm talking.
10:31What's that cake like, then?
10:33Well, it is dry cake, like they said.
10:36Luckily, I'm being brought some vegan food
10:39by my knight in shining waistcoat.
10:41She was very happy with her 19 bits of bread, though.
10:45That's really kind.
10:46Mmm.
10:48The broccoli is absolutely outstanding.
10:50It's flavoured up the wazoo.
10:53Where is the wazoo on a broccoli?
10:55I'm going to try this sort of risotto.
10:57It's an old Viking dish that they had at weddings.
10:59OK.
11:00To the bride and groom!
11:02Oh, it's good stuff.
11:04I think I'm Norwegian in spirit.
11:08Next on the menu,
11:09the mystery of the brown slices is solved.
11:12It's Norwegian speciality, brown cheese.
11:17Oh, yeah.
11:19What?
11:22I've never said what to do.
11:23What is happening?
11:25There isn't words for this.
11:26What happened?
11:26It's toffee.
11:27There's a toffee bit.
11:28What?
11:28It's turned into toffee.
11:30It feels like I'm eating toffees
11:31that have been left on top of cheese.
11:33It's a magical place, Nora, isn't it?
11:35The cheese becomes toffee.
11:36It may be the best thing I've ever tasted.
11:38Is it?
11:42I'm going to be gross.
11:43Are you ready?
11:45I wasn't ready.
11:46It's sort of like toffee.
11:47I wasn't ready.
11:49I'll never be ready.
11:52It's like a toffee texture.
11:53Yeah, but I believed you.
11:55I needed to be showing it out of your mouth.
11:59You see what you vegans are sneakily getting up to behind our backs.
12:02It'll make you realise.
12:03Oh, hello.
12:04Vegans drink like Vikings.
12:06Oh.
12:07What?
12:08And you need some mead.
12:09Some mead?
12:12I'll bring.
12:14Thank you very much.
12:16You've got many soft footsteps, I'll tell you that.
12:19Ah, yes.
12:21Apple juice.
12:21The drink of Vikings who are doing dry jam.
12:24Skal.
12:26Skal.
12:26Skal.
12:27Skal.
12:28Skal.
12:34Skal.
12:36Yeah, we need doggie bags, please.
12:43We're in Norway.
12:45One online review says, this disgusting country is disgusting.
12:48And today we're heading out to see just how disgusting it is.
12:52Yeah, not that disgusting, really.
12:53It's so pretty.
12:55I cannot believe how beautiful these wooden houses are.
12:57And then like the big mountain behind them.
13:00Bergen means seven mountains or something?
13:03What does Bergen mean?
13:05Seven mountains?
13:06Seven?
13:07Is there so long mountains?
13:09But Bergen is also one of Norway's busiest ports,
13:12with over 300 cruise ship visits a year,
13:15taking passengers to see the beautiful fjords.
13:18But I've found a way of getting out on the water
13:20without spending a penny,
13:22or whatever they spend in Norway.
13:25Norwegian pennies.
13:26This is exciting.
13:27This is getting right on a fjord.
13:29Couldn't be more Norwegian.
13:31It's free, which is also couldn't be less Norwegian.
13:35Oh, it doesn't cost money,
13:36but I think that's because it's work, technically.
13:39Hello.
13:39Hello there.
13:40Hi, I'm Sarah.
13:41I'm Andreas.
13:42I'm Roshi. Nice to meet you.
13:43Nice to meet you.
13:44So, what is this experience?
13:46It's basically a concept where you get to rent a kayak for free.
13:50You get out here and you explore the scenery,
13:53and then you pick up rubbish by the coastline.
13:56What kind of rubbish do you have out there?
13:58We have all kinds.
13:59Beer cans.
14:00We even have those electric scooters.
14:02And can we keep anything we find, like an electric scooter?
14:05If you want to,
14:06but the last time that happened,
14:08it exploded outside here.
14:10So don't do that.
14:10So basically, you don't have to pay for it if you go and do a job.
14:14But something might explode.
14:16And then when you come back here,
14:17you get to weigh the trash,
14:19and it's reported so they'll know how much trash has been picked.
14:22And what about turning over?
14:24What are the chances of us capsizing?
14:26Basically, none.
14:27Will you hear us if we scream?
14:29Oh, Christ.
14:30I have a good hearing.
14:31Okay, great.
14:32Well, let's hope so.
14:32So this is all our stuff.
14:33Today, we're going out canoeing,
14:36getting rubbish,
14:37saving the world.
14:38As a favour to Norway,
14:40you're welcome.
14:41I think we'll probably get NBEs,
14:43or whatever the equivalent is in Norway.
14:45Do they have a royal family here?
14:47No, of course they don't.
14:48They do have a royal family.
14:49Okay, well, I think the king's going to give us a surprise.
14:52So how often do you do this?
14:54Well, I help people with it.
14:57You don't actually ever do it yourself?
14:59Nah.
15:01He's never done it.
15:03I mean, that does worry me, Roche.
15:05Well, of course it should.
15:06I'm quite scared of open water.
15:08I lost my voice in open water as a child.
15:10It feels like I'm going to tip you.
15:11It won't, I promise.
15:13It does feel like I'm going to tip you.
15:14It's not going to tip.
15:15It's a cold, open water.
15:16I always think if I tip over,
15:18I'm going to scream,
15:19but no one's going to hear me.
15:21Are you going to do us?
15:23Let's see.
15:24All you want is someone who you trust
15:26to explain how it works.
15:28Okay, that was the wrong key.
15:29It's the wrong key.
15:30Andreas, do you even work here?
15:32Andreas comes out and he said,
15:33oh, I've never been on a kayak.
15:35Then he couldn't do the keys.
15:36I don't think you work here.
15:38You've never done it before.
15:39You don't have the right keys.
15:40I just wandered up here.
15:41Very lovely.
15:42It's a little bit frightening.
15:44Eric to the rescue.
15:45Okay, we're ready.
15:46We're ready.
15:48There we go.
15:49It's time for us to get out there
15:51and clean up this filthy town.
15:53Watch out.
15:53We're about to hit something.
15:54Oh, God.
15:55Sorry.
15:56It's just I've not been very elegant.
15:57There we go.
15:58We sort of need to left and right
16:00at the same time.
16:01Okay.
16:02There we go.
16:03Do you reckon next year
16:03they'll do Oxford, Cambridge,
16:05and then Roshid and Sarah
16:06in the third boat?
16:08Woo!
16:09Fucking hell.
16:10Try again.
16:11Right.
16:12Oh, the wind's not in our favor.
16:14No.
16:14Are you rowing?
16:15Yeah.
16:15Okay, let's go.
16:16Find some litter.
16:18But first,
16:19we need to make it out of the harbor.
16:21We need to go around.
16:22We're going to hit this boat
16:23if we just drift.
16:25Let's just...
16:25Oh, dear.
16:26Okay.
16:27Are you okay?
16:28Yep.
16:28Yep.
16:29Yep.
16:30Oh, no.
16:31Not again.
16:31It's just too late.
16:32We're going to hit this one.
16:35Shit, they're bad.
16:37We've got our own system,
16:38really, when you think about it.
16:39We have, yeah.
16:40We sort of boat like pinball.
16:45That way or that way?
16:47I'll just go straight out,
16:47head for home.
16:50The English Channel!
16:51Here we come!
16:54Are there any Norwegian songs
16:56for sailing?
16:58Er, they must be, mustn't they?
17:00I don't know if we can clear that.
17:02They don't yodel, do they?
17:02We need, like, a sea shanty.
17:04Yeah.
17:05They go high,
17:06and we go low.
17:07Like, Norse,
17:07it can't be that different
17:08from, like, Scottish.
17:10Imagine Vikings arriving
17:11on these boats.
17:13We should have wore
17:13little horns in our hats.
17:15Maybe that'd be offensive, actually.
17:17I must hope
17:18there'd be a bit more litter.
17:20Shall we collect some seaweed?
17:23Well, that's the only thing,
17:24I think they've,
17:25they're very clean.
17:27I haven't seen
17:27a single crisp packet.
17:28Not so much as a cigarette butt.
17:30Not seen one thing.
17:32It's a really weird feeling
17:33to be disappointed
17:35that there's not more litter.
17:36It's been ravaged
17:37by other kayakers.
17:38They've gone in.
17:39There's nothing left.
17:40Norway's too clean!
17:42They've had an absolute run-on
17:44of people in the green kayaks.
17:46But suddenly,
17:47we had bigger problems
17:48to deal with.
17:49It's getting very choppy now, Sarah.
17:51I think we need to get away
17:52from these rocks.
17:53Sarah, we need to move.
17:54It's mad.
17:55I know, but we're going
17:56the other way.
17:56We're going to hit the wall.
17:58I know, we are.
17:58It's too wavy.
17:59Is this what seamen see
18:00just before they die?
18:02Quick, quick.
18:02We've got to turn round.
18:03This is going to tip us.
18:05I'm trying!
18:05Fuck!
18:07Oh, there's a GoPro
18:08in the water.
18:09The GoPro's on the rocks!
18:10The GoPro's in the water!
18:11Oh, fuck.
18:12It's gone.
18:13We then did smash the GoPro.
18:15It's gone, it's gone!
18:16No, it's not.
18:17It's there.
18:17I need the net.
18:18And Sarah went to climb out
18:19of the boat
18:20in the open water
18:21to get it.
18:22Don't stand out of the boat!
18:23Don't stand out of the boat!
18:24I'm just kneeling.
18:24I'm just kneeling.
18:25You're going to tip me
18:26in the water!
18:27I won't tip you
18:27in the water.
18:28Fucking hell.
18:29I thought that was mad.
18:31I can't believe
18:32our littering
18:32is just rescuing
18:33a GoPro.
18:35We did rescue something.
18:36We just sort of
18:37had to lose it first.
18:39It's quite an odyssey, really.
18:42I'm soaking.
18:44We were heading back
18:45with nothing to show
18:46but wet socks
18:46and a camera
18:47that would never GoPro again.
18:49But then...
18:50Oh, there's something.
18:51There's something in the water.
18:52It's a banana peel!
18:53A banana peel!
18:54It's a banana peel!
18:56Get it!
18:57Get it!
18:58Oh, my God.
18:59Yeah!
19:00Woo!
19:02A biodegradable banana peel!
19:05Doesn't matter.
19:06It was unsightly.
19:07Banana peel!
19:08Yes, it may only be
19:10one banana skin
19:10but I have contributed
19:11to the removal of rubbish
19:13from this beautiful water.
19:14Oh, if that banana
19:15was sitting in the sea
19:16I wouldn't have slept tonight.
19:19Oh, shit.
19:20Oh, that was lovely
19:21and relaxing.
19:26Andreas, we've worked really hard
19:27and Norway is welcome
19:29for our service.
19:30Can you just tell us
19:31how many kilograms
19:32of rubbish we collected?
19:34Yeah, let's see.
19:35I'm going to turn this thingy on.
19:36Pretend you've used it before.
19:38Yeah, stare at it
19:39like an alien concept.
19:42Yeah, well, it's 0.0 kilograms
19:43for 0.0 pounds.
19:45I'm going to throw it back
19:46in the water.
19:47I like weight.
19:48They're very healthy.
19:49They weigh nothing.
19:50It's organic.
19:51Listen, Norway's very clean.
19:53Why are you luring people out here
19:55with this sort of,
19:56we need help,
19:57come and clean our waters?
19:58It's absolutely spotless out there.
20:00It gives you an opportunity
20:01to explore the coastline
20:04and in ways you wouldn't otherwise.
20:06We definitely explored.
20:07We saw some of those rocks
20:08really close up.
20:09Yeah.
20:10Exactly.
20:11Anyway, it was really lovely
20:13to meet you.
20:13Likewise.
20:14Oh, it was wonderful fun.
20:15Loads of the bad reviews
20:16in Norway
20:18are because of how expensive
20:19things are.
20:20So it's a real boon
20:21to find something
20:21that is completely free
20:22and enjoyable.
20:24But I can't say
20:25if this is a great freeway
20:26to see Bergen
20:26because I only saw
20:27this bit here.
20:30And you can see that
20:31from here.
20:33So we decided
20:34to see more of the city
20:36using a method
20:37so budget-friendly
20:37it was invented
20:38before money
20:39was even a thing.
20:41Walking.
20:43Oh, it's lovely.
20:45It is lovely.
20:46And it's kind of pumping.
20:48Yeah.
20:49On a Saturday afternoon.
20:50Yeah.
20:51And my number one criteria
20:53for judging the quality
20:54of a city,
20:55dog vibes.
20:57Hello, snuggles.
20:58Oh, hello.
20:59Good morning.
21:00Can I say hello
21:01to the doggy?
21:01Oh, my God.
21:02Hello, doggy.
21:03Oh, hello.
21:06Is this what it's like
21:07when you've got a man
21:08who keeps looking
21:08at other women?
21:11I think the dogs
21:12are outstanding
21:14and I think that is,
21:15for me,
21:15a big green flag.
21:18Do you reckon
21:18you could live here?
21:19Yeah, if I run away
21:20from my family.
21:22If I did live here,
21:24one thing I'd probably
21:25end up doing
21:25is the country's
21:26national sport.
21:28Skiing.
21:2970% of Norwegians
21:30own a pair of skis.
21:31The other 30%
21:32presumably just go down
21:33on a tea tray.
21:35But how do they practice
21:36when there's no snow
21:37on the slopes?
21:38We've come to
21:39an empty car park
21:41to find out.
21:42It feels...
21:43Like we're going
21:44to Fight Club.
21:44Yeah, like we're meeting
21:46at the Romford lot.
21:47Meeting the Romford lot
21:48behind the ice rink.
21:50Sort this out
21:51once and for all.
21:52And where...
21:53I can't see anyone.
21:55I can't even imagine
21:56what a roller ski looks like.
21:57I think they do it
21:58to practice in
21:59when they can't get
22:00on the slopes.
22:01So it's a real...
22:01Like this is genuinely
22:02where they practice
22:02apparently.
22:05Would you like to hear
22:06some reviews?
22:07One start.
22:07The first time I ever
22:08saw this here in Norway
22:09my first thought was
22:10okay, Norwegians
22:11have finally lost it.
22:14It's excessive, isn't it?
22:15And it's just not a very...
22:17As a review
22:18it lacks
22:19any sort of like
22:22pizzazz.
22:23Look, to add wheels
22:24and then go really fast
22:25in a car park
22:25that's fun, right?
22:26Yeah.
22:27If indeed it even exists.
22:29Yeah, we haven't
22:30seen them yet.
22:31No.
22:32It does feel like
22:33we're going to get mugged
22:34like we've arranged
22:34to come and buy drugs.
22:36No one would mug you
22:37in such sort of
22:38open space.
22:42Wow.
22:43Oh God, this must be there.
22:44Here they are.
22:45The cavalry
22:46is arriving.
22:49That is a weird sport.
22:51Okay, they're coming now.
22:53We've got to stop laughing.
22:54Look serious.
22:54Wow, they're fast.
22:57Hi.
22:57Hi.
22:58Hi.
22:59Hi.
23:00Oh, they're very...
23:02Oh!
23:04Hello.
23:04Hello.
23:06Very good.
23:07Are you allowed
23:08to do that in the streets?
23:09We do it anyway.
23:10Oh, okay.
23:11Bad boys.
23:12Like your style.
23:12I'm Roisin.
23:13I'm Sarah.
23:14Hi.
23:14Hi.
23:14How long have you been
23:16doing this for?
23:16And are you a gang?
23:18Yeah, I would say so.
23:20So we've been practicing
23:21since we was 12, I think.
23:23Oh, wow.
23:24Is this very popular
23:25in Norway, what you're doing?
23:26Yeah.
23:27As we say,
23:28Norwegian are born
23:29with skis on their feet.
23:30Someone has given birth twice.
23:44I'm like,
23:44compete with born skis sometimes,
23:47but it's more often in the winter.
23:49Okay, I see.
23:49How long do you think
23:50it will take us
23:51to learn how to do this?
23:52So have you been skiing before or...
23:54No, we've not been skiing ever.
23:56So this is going to be interesting.
23:57Yeah.
23:57Balance must be important.
23:59Yeah.
23:59Check this out.
24:00Maybe the most important.
24:01That's good.
24:01I think it's safe for ages.
24:07Now to practice for a sport
24:09we've never done before
24:10on a hard tarmac surface.
24:13When he's taking his left foot down,
24:16his right pole is going there.
24:18It's the opposite line.
24:19Okay.
24:21Always when we come to a country,
24:22I want to try things
24:23that normal tourists
24:24don't get a chance to do.
24:26When you watch other people
24:27going really fast on something,
24:28you think,
24:28oh, that's really fun.
24:29Let me at them.
24:30And then I was instantly
24:32chastened by the danger element.
24:34Oh, shit.
24:35There we go.
24:36There we go.
24:37It doesn't feel very elegant
24:38when you turn back round.
24:39Oh, you turn, though.
24:42All right, okay.
24:43I'm going too far.
24:44Start.
24:44It feels like it's something
24:46that someone's cursed us with.
24:48For the rest of your days,
24:49you will have wheels for feet.
24:51Yeah, I'm sort of
24:52getting the hang of it.
24:56Yeah, like that.
24:57You're doing really great
24:58for doing it the first time.
25:00Oh, it was very much
25:01an enjoyable experience.
25:03Oh, well.
25:04If Roisin had been
25:06a bit more steady,
25:07I think we'd have had more fun
25:08because I was partly worried.
25:10Oh, God.
25:11It's too fast.
25:13How do I stop?
25:14Oh!
25:15It's very frightening
25:16because you just think
25:17you're going to fall
25:18the whole time.
25:19Help me!
25:21It's like ice skating,
25:23but you normally have something
25:24you can hold on to for ages.
25:25And I did,
25:26but it was a 16-year-old.
25:28Or, you know,
25:28just like...
25:30Of course,
25:31just stay with your knees
25:33a bit tucked.
25:34I want to stop.
25:35But what I'm hoping
25:36is in this edit,
25:37you'll just speed me up
25:38really fast
25:39and put really good music
25:40on it and make me look cool.
25:43Morning!
25:48Help, help!
25:49Fuck this.
25:51Have you ever done this
25:52with anyone worse?
25:53Er, no, not that great.
25:56See, that feels fantastic.
25:58Maybe I would like skiing
25:59as long as it was sort of flat.
26:01I didn't want to look like
26:02I was having a great time
26:03while Roisin was struggling,
26:05but it was really fun.
26:06I absolutely disagreed
26:07with the reviews.
26:08I don't think the Norwegians
26:09have finally lost it.
26:09This seems to me like common sense.
26:11You can't ski on snow,
26:12you pop some wheels on.
26:13Clogs, on the other hand,
26:15from Denmark,
26:15wooden shoes,
26:17you know?
26:19They've lost it.
26:22They're very honest
26:23the Norwegians.
26:23I like it.
26:24He said I was the worst person
26:25he'd ever done it with
26:26and I'd improve that much.
26:28It sounds exactly
26:28like when I lost my opportunity.
26:32OK.
26:33Thank you very much.
26:34It's lovely to meet you.
26:36I tell you what,
26:37turning around is so inelegant.
26:39Bye, guys.
26:40Thanks for teaching us.
26:42Bye.
26:42Goodbye.
26:43Bye.
26:43Bye.
26:45Do you think we should skate
26:46to our next thing?
26:47What is the next thing?
26:48I don't know.
26:49The hospital.
26:50The hospital.
26:57We're in Norway.
26:58Known for fjords,
27:00fishermen's cabins,
27:01oh, and black metal.
27:04Black metal.
27:06Famous for its up-tempo songs,
27:08Satan worship,
27:08and church burnings,
27:10black metal is Norway's
27:11biggest cultural export.
27:13So to see why the lovely
27:14Norwegian people
27:15are so keen on this dark music,
27:17we've arranged to meet
27:18a local band
27:18at their rehearsal space.
27:21Would you like to hear
27:23some reviews
27:23of black metal music,
27:25which is so huge
27:26in parts of Norway?
27:27Such a big question.
27:28I sort of feel like
27:29this is the gateway drug
27:30to going in there.
27:32Go on, then.
27:33One star.
27:35Does anyone else think
27:35black metal is just noise,
27:37like the vocals
27:37are basically just growling?
27:39Yes.
27:39Forgettable riffs,
27:40boring, melodic leads,
27:42cliched lyrics about Satan.
27:43I'm quite scared of death.
27:45I don't like Satan and stuff.
27:46Is it pro-Satan or anti-Satan?
27:48Well, he's just getting
27:49a lot of air time.
27:51Yeah.
27:51What's the band called?
27:53I don't know.
27:53We're going to find out.
27:54Oh, Christ.
27:55I don't think it's that.
28:05Winterbreeze are a melodic
28:07black metal band.
28:09Their name may sound Satanic,
28:11but actually it means
28:12Winter's Breeze.
28:13I think I've got a candle
28:15called that.
28:16You're ready?
28:17Yeah.
28:19Ready?
28:20I can't do it.
28:21We just have to go in.
28:22Ready?
28:22Yeah.
28:32The first impressions,
28:33it was too loud.
28:35If it is like,
28:36can you survive this?
28:39I'm probably not going
28:40to be that relaxed.
28:42Sarah did some good dancing.
28:44I actually thought
28:44it might be my new thing.
28:46Imagine that.
28:47Is Sarah coming?
28:48Which one?
28:48Oh, the other one
28:49is into black metal.
28:51What, the mum of two?
28:52From North London?
28:53Yeah, she's into black metal now.
28:57It's very much
28:58like a panic attack.
29:01And I guess
29:02that's the vibe.
29:02Yeah, it's an extreme genre
29:04that kind of has
29:05a lot of feelings
29:05and the thing is
29:06to get that creature
29:07out of you.
29:08And heavy metal's
29:09huge in Norway.
29:11Certain parts of it.
29:12Yes.
29:13Black metal it's called,
29:14isn't it?
29:14Black metal.
29:14Why is it called
29:15black metal over heavy metal?
29:17More distortion,
29:18more kind of gritty sound.
29:20And so,
29:20what is the vocal?
29:21How do you sing?
29:22It's kind of like screaming,
29:24you know?
29:25But it is at some point.
29:26Yes, it's scream singing.
29:27Yeah.
29:28You're supposed to like
29:29use all the capacity
29:30in your lungs.
29:31Yeah.
29:31And it would be like,
29:33but then you would
29:34add even more volume.
29:36You banged your toe.
29:38So it would be,
29:39and then you could
29:41pitch it with your mouth
29:43so it can go deeper.
29:44So it could be like,
29:47sorry.
29:48But Roshin's got
29:49a really scary voice.
29:50I don't know
29:51if this is right.
29:52I used to climb
29:53inside a duvet cover
29:54and I attend to my sister
29:55that I was going
29:56to another side
29:56and I used to do this voice.
29:58I'm going to the other side
29:59and you'll never
30:00buy me again.
30:03So you inhale, right?
30:05That's another type of style.
30:07Well, I've never done it
30:07to like a song.
30:09Why don't you do the drums
30:10and I do the song?
30:11Can we?
30:11Sorry, we've invited
30:12ourselves into your band.
30:13Do you want to try?
30:14We're very dark of heart.
30:15Yeah.
30:16Then you're welcome.
30:17Great.
30:21You're going to do this one
30:22and the leg
30:23at the same time
30:23and then in between.
30:25Actually, I can't do the rhythm.
30:31That's the same.
30:39I couldn't hear you
30:40because I was drumming so loud.
30:41Were you singing well?
30:42No, I was just trying to put,
30:43I just said things like,
30:44I like cornflakes,
30:45just positivity.
30:47It didn't look like
30:48I was having a great time.
30:50I don't think anyone's going to think,
30:50oh, this person's a natural.
30:52Like, if black metal
30:53Simon Cowell walked past,
30:54I'd only be like,
30:55these girls look like
30:56they got something.
30:58I like going through
30:59and doing all the men wins.
31:04That was a very positive song.
31:06A natural.
31:07Safe to say,
31:09our metal's more beige than black,
31:10so it's over to Vinterbrist
31:11for one last tune.
31:17Yeah, it's not for me.
31:19That's war music.
31:20Sorry,
31:20don't everyone start emailing me
31:22going,
31:22you're not listening right.
31:23Well, I couldn't
31:23because I've already gone deaf.
31:25I'm buzzing.
31:26Yeah.
31:27I feel like,
31:27as a very short concert,
31:29my ears are buzzing.
31:31We had to run out.
31:33I'm being very mean
31:34and they seem very nice,
31:35but listen,
31:36they all think
31:36the music I like shit, so...
31:38No-one's ever gone on a killing spree
31:39after listening to Boyzone.
31:41You're absolutely right, Sarah.
31:45After seeing the dark side
31:46of Norwegian culture,
31:48it's time to visit somewhere
31:49even more unpleasant.
31:51The olden days.
31:53This is very nice.
31:54A living museum.
31:56Hello, walls.
31:57Are you alive?
31:58I feel like a living museum sometimes.
32:00Living museum
32:01to what happened in the 90s.
32:03The museum shows visitors
32:05what life was like
32:06in 1800s Bergen
32:07with a cast of actors
32:09bringing the small town dramas to life.
32:11We're looking forward
32:11to Ibsen meets Emmerdale.
32:13You ain't my heron pickler.
32:15Yes, I am.
32:16So, do you want to hear a review?
32:18Yes, please.
32:19OK, one star.
32:21Oh.
32:21The professions are portrayed
32:23less convincingly.
32:25The so-called actors
32:27are completely wrong
32:29with unnecessary
32:31comma
32:31out of place
32:32performances.
32:34OK.
32:35I've been called
32:35a so-called comedian
32:36many, many times.
32:37So I'm going to
32:39give these so-called actors
32:40the benefit of the doubt.
32:42Yeah, this sounds like
32:43someone who didn't get the gig.
32:44A rival from another museum.
32:47Yeah.
32:48Shitting all over them.
32:49Yeah.
32:49Also, I've done jobs like this.
32:51Yeah.
32:51I've done historical acting
32:52in places, you know,
32:54the Meridian in Greenwich,
32:55telling people about
32:56when time was discovered.
32:58You can join in then.
33:00Yeah, I will join in.
33:00As soon as I know the facts,
33:01I'll be in there.
33:02I'll be like, my turn.
33:04Right, let's go and see it
33:05because it starts in four minutes.
33:06Oh, great.
33:07Let's go.
33:08I could have told you
33:09that if we were at the Meridian.
33:12We're just in time
33:14to catch a short play
33:15about our favourite topic,
33:17dental care.
33:18So, ladies and gentlemen,
33:20come closer.
33:21It's nothing to be afraid of.
33:23I'm the dentist, by the way.
33:25But as it turns out,
33:26only one of the actors
33:27has turned up.
33:29I'm just waiting
33:30for some customers.
33:32They will arrive quite soon,
33:35I hope.
33:39I just have to wait,
33:40I'm afraid.
33:41This is where we could get up
33:42and do a song and dance
33:43for everyone.
33:44What's the best time
33:45to visit the dentist?
33:462.30.
33:48I'm just getting warmed up.
33:49This stuff.
33:52So, um,
33:54we wait for a few minutes
33:58and then we are ready.
33:59The trouble is,
34:00I'm coming up on my third coffee.
34:01I do need something to happen.
34:05Oh, God.
34:06I thought they would be on time.
34:08I don't like waiting.
34:10Are you ready?
34:11Not yet.
34:12Not yet.
34:15Oh, my God.
34:16I think we should just
34:17create a bit of drama.
34:18Yeah?
34:20Oh, no.
34:21It's okay.
34:22I'm fine.
34:23I'm fine.
34:24It's okay.
34:25It's okay.
34:25She's got a sore tooth.
34:27You all right?
34:28Yeah.
34:29She's just...
34:31Good acting.
34:33Here we go.
34:34But why?
34:35You know why.
34:36Oh, God.
34:37You're getting married.
34:38So you have to get
34:39all your teeth pulled up now
34:41so your husband
34:42don't have to pay for it
34:42in the future.
34:44All of them?
34:45I got mine out
34:46for my confirmation.
34:47And then you got
34:48nice new dentures in.
34:50It will be all right.
34:51Welcome, welcome.
34:52I bid you welcome.
34:53It's nothing to worry about.
34:54It takes about
34:55half an hour.
34:56Half an hour?
34:57I'll wait for you here.
34:58This way.
34:59Come on.
35:00We need to help that lady.
35:02I disagree with the reviews.
35:03It's good stuff.
35:04Calling it a play
35:05is pushing it.
35:07But it's an oddly
35:07immersive piece.
35:08And they use the space
35:09very well.
35:10When she runs upstairs
35:10and comes out the window,
35:11you're like,
35:11lovely stuff.
35:12It's like a Western.
35:16I'm not finished.
35:17She's covered in blood.
35:18I found out awful things.
35:20It was quite informative
35:21that all women
35:22had to get all their teeth
35:23removed before you got married
35:24so that your husband
35:25didn't have to pay for it.
35:26But good performers
35:26a little bit of gore,
35:28a tiny little bit of smell.
35:29Come with me
35:29and I shove you my instruments.
35:32Excuse me?
35:33It was a little bit of a,
35:35this is theatre, baby.
35:36I'm all for it.
35:42All right, Sarah.
35:43What next?
35:45Boss?
35:46Okay.
35:46Camping, outdoors,
35:48stars, women bonding.
35:50And so we've done
35:50quite a lot in Bergen
35:51and now we're going to go
35:52and see a bit more
35:53of the countryside
35:53and we're going to go,
35:55dare I say it,
35:57hellish camping
35:58but somewhere beautiful.
36:00So go somewhere nice,
36:02do an awful thing.
36:03That's sort of the vibe, right?
36:09We're exploring Norway,
36:11a country which has prompted
36:12this review.
36:13Expensive, cold and wet.
36:14What's not to like?
36:16So, we've decided to see
36:18the most fit landscapes
36:19in the world
36:20via the worst thing ever invented,
36:22camping.
36:23We've come to the station,
36:24we've been lent this stuff
36:26for free.
36:27There's a place called Boer
36:29and it's like a Christian missionary
36:30and in Norway
36:31they lend it to you
36:33for free
36:33so you don't like
36:34have to buy it
36:34and have waste.
36:35Just give it back,
36:36it's amazing.
36:37And we're going to Boss.
36:38Boss.
36:39Now I'm camping.
36:41Beautiful place,
36:42terrible activity.
36:43Do you think it will convert me?
36:44Yeah.
36:45That's my,
36:46that's what I'm going to do.
36:47I'm going to convert you.
36:48You're going to become
36:48a camping gal.
36:50All right,
36:50let's go and get the train then.
36:51All right.
36:53You managed to get off
36:54a bit lightly there,
36:55didn't you?
36:55I did.
36:58We have left it
36:58a little bit late.
36:59I mean...
37:00We've got so much stuff.
37:01Quick, quick, quick.
37:03Oh, hello.
37:06Snazzy.
37:06Your Majesty.
37:10We're heading east
37:11to the small town of Boss
37:12on a train
37:13one passenger
37:14described as bad
37:15and unreliable.
37:16So we'll fit right in.
37:20Do you want to hear
37:20a review of this train,
37:22Sarah?
37:22I'd absolutely love one.
37:23I can't imagine
37:24anyone saying
37:24anything negative
37:25one star.
37:27The train is not
37:28particularly clean
37:29or well-maintained.
37:30The toilets had no soap
37:32and the seats very loose.
37:34The worst train
37:35I've ever been on.
37:36Is that King Charles
37:37and Camilla?
37:38Who?
37:38It is, actually.
37:39They've signed it themselves.
37:41At the end,
37:42you didn't even see
37:43much of the landscape
37:43either.
37:45What?
37:46Do you know
37:46what I reckon
37:47they were doing?
37:47They were so busy
37:48just typing in their phone
37:49moaning
37:49that they forgot
37:50that they forgot
37:50to look out.
37:52So pretty.
37:53Wow.
37:55This is it, isn't it?
37:56This is being on holiday.
37:57The bridge,
37:58the water.
37:59It's so relaxing.
38:00Shrubbery
38:01and the big black tunnels.
38:02I guess that's the thing,
38:03isn't it?
38:04You've sort of got to
38:04keep your eyes out
38:05because then...
38:06Fjord!
38:07Yeah.
38:08Here we go.
38:08Let's get...
38:09Let's see what we can see.
38:09Let's gulp down some beauty.
38:11Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
38:12Gone.
38:12Gone, yeah.
38:15It feels like a supermarket dash.
38:17Maybe it's like
38:17a philosophical lesson.
38:20Appreciate the view
38:21while it's there.
38:21Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
38:22Are your eyes eating it?
38:23Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
38:24I'm trying to...
38:24Oh, it's gone.
38:27I'm trying to get the beauty in
38:29in a sort of gluttonous way.
38:30Because I'm trying to enjoy the view
38:31and in my ear I can hear
38:33nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
38:35Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
38:36It's sort of undermine it.
38:38Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
38:42Here we are.
38:44Vos, baby.
38:45Look, a lovely hotel.
38:46Why can't we stay in a hotel in Vos?
38:48Because the reviews are too good.
38:50But not all reviewers
38:51think Vos is boss.
38:53Some of them are gross.
38:56One star.
38:57Vos is a small town
38:58with little interest in itself.
38:59I was bored.
39:01Hmm.
39:01There's a three star.
39:02This is more positive.
39:04I'd say there are plenty to do there.
39:06You just need to be creative.
39:08That's us.
39:09Yeah, we're creative.
39:10That is us, baby.
39:11Let's go show these mountains
39:12a good time.
39:15Vos is mainly a ski resort.
39:17But as it's summer
39:18and we've been banned
39:19from ever roller skiing again,
39:21we're setting up camp by the lake
39:22to enjoy the Nordic concept
39:24of free Luftsvf,
39:26or open air life.
39:29I mean, it is absolutely stunning.
39:31I can't hear anything
39:33apart from us.
39:35Sometimes zero stars
39:36comes up in our favour.
39:37Yeah.
39:40It's overwhelmingly beautiful.
39:41I can't believe people got bored here.
39:44I don't think you need to do anything
39:46but sit and smell that air.
39:49I should have looked up
39:50whether Norway has snakes
39:51before we went camping.
39:53You say things like this
39:54as we approach the campsite.
39:57Right, so it's free roam,
39:59right to roam or whatever,
40:00so you can just camp anywhere.
40:01Yeah.
40:02So we can just do it
40:02by the beach then?
40:04Yeah, let's go down here.
40:06Are you sure it's legal, Sarah?
40:07I don't want to wake up
40:07with the feds around me.
40:09I don't want to wake up
40:09with a bear
40:11poking his head through.
40:12Oh, I'd love that.
40:12Would you?
40:13A cow, a bear, a horse.
40:15Yes, please.
40:16Yeah, all those big animals.
40:17Yeah, I like a big animal,
40:18if you know what I mean.
40:22Right, so I think tent
40:23is the most important thing
40:24to get up first.
40:25Do you think it's a pop-up or no?
40:27It's definitely not a pop-up
40:28because these are separate.
40:29Okay.
40:30Woo!
40:30And I will not do this in Epsley.
40:32Oh, no.
40:33But women everywhere.
40:34Roche, we're doing this for women,
40:35I was about to say.
40:36I'm not doing it for women.
40:37Some women don't give a shit
40:39about camping,
40:40and that's me.
40:41Okay.
40:42Right, how do you get in there then, man?
40:45There's this,
40:45but there's no in.
40:47Yeah, that's what I thought
40:47there was like a beer tube
40:48inside normally.
40:50Camping is taking everything
40:51that you do in your normal life
40:52and going,
40:53make it more difficult
40:54so that when you get home
40:54you really appreciate
40:56having a toilet.
40:58Okay.
40:59No, that's definitely,
41:00I've got it definitely
41:00in the wrong...
41:01Stop it!
41:02This is a silly,
41:03this is silly.
41:04Oh, do you think
41:05the yellow one's supposed
41:05to go in the yellow one
41:06and the red one's supposed
41:07to go in the red one?
41:07I think that now.
41:08Yeah.
41:09Yeah.
41:09There might be some instructions.
41:11They're Norwegian.
41:12Don't mansplain us tent making.
41:16Right.
41:16That this goes in the end
41:18of a tube here.
41:19So this does go here.
41:21God damn, yeah.
41:22It's got...
41:22That's it!
41:23You got it!
41:24Yes!
41:24I got my finger on it!
41:25You got in it!
41:29Yeah, you fucker!
41:31It's a lot of admin camping.
41:33That's the fun of it.
41:34That's why it's not like
41:35one style, nothing to do.
41:37You've got loads to do.
41:38Just survive.
41:39Yeah.
41:40You don't get this view
41:41from a hotel.
41:42This is nice, to be fair.
41:43It is nice.
41:44Our tent was up.
41:47Now, make flames.
41:49Oh, my God!
41:50Roisin, you made a fire!
41:52Yeah.
41:52Irish holidays.
41:55They didn't have a central heat
41:56in my nan's house.
41:57It was fires.
41:59It's very close to our seating area.
42:03I don't think you should
42:04put that on there.
42:05No, I'm not!
42:06I'm putting it here
42:06for you to sit on.
42:07Because they can enjoy
42:08the fire you made.
42:10Oh, my God.
42:10Because I'm a gentleman.
42:13My lady.
42:13We need to get our snacks.
42:15I think you have to run
42:16across really fast like this.
42:17What do you need?
42:18Grab them all!
42:23Careful, it's very flamey.
42:25This is fun, isn't it?
42:26Yeah.
42:26I just thought of a pun.
42:27Do you want to hear it?
42:28Go on.
42:28Roast in, Conaty.
42:35The fire's lovely now, isn't it?
42:36Lovely and warm.
42:37Camping is a thing
42:38I don't love,
42:39but this has been
42:39actually very fun.
42:42I hate when I sort of
42:43enjoy things
42:44that I sort of
42:45am against.
42:46This is a lovely end
42:47to what has been
42:48a pretty amazing trip.
42:50Yeah.
42:50Did you like Bergen?
42:51Loved Bergen.
42:52I'm going to say something.
42:53Might be my favourite.
42:56Norway might be expensive,
42:58but I think our trip
42:59was good value.
43:00It doesn't cost anything
43:01to enjoy the scenery
43:02or hang out with teenagers
43:04in an empty car park
43:05and, most importantly,
43:07spend some quality time
43:08with a friend.
43:09Oh, no, you've got
43:11yourself in.
43:12My review is four
43:14Fjord banana peels
43:15out of five.
43:18Norway, I love you.
43:20Five stars.
43:21Absolutely wonderful place.
43:22That blue coat
43:23I bought in Bergen,
43:24I lost it.
43:24So I'm using this
43:25time to appeal
43:26for anyone to find
43:27that coat.
43:27I lost it in Wales
43:28or someone in Norway
43:29sent me another one.
43:29Look how nice it is on me.
43:30Five stars, Norway.
43:31Love you.
43:32Wow.
43:33We've got a long night ahead.
43:35Yeah.
43:35We need to tell
43:36scary stories or something.
43:38I was once camping
43:39with Roshini.
43:39We both caught fire.
43:41LAUGHTER
43:42LAUGHTER
43:42MUSIC PLAYS
44:12MUSIC PLAYS
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