- 15 hours ago
Full Episode of She's Not Homeless She's Healer Goddess
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02You
00:00:03Healer goddess here my plea
00:00:06Please save my
00:00:20Rod of a sepulis
00:00:40Rejuvenate
00:00:48Praise she is the healer goddess
00:00:51No, please don't call me about it. I'm just glad I could help
00:01:00Here you go miss. Thank you
00:01:04Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:07in need
00:01:19You must be rushing off to go find your jewels because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:24run
00:01:27Oh
00:01:27It's okay little guy I'll fix you right up
00:01:36Right rewrites the wronged
00:01:44See good as the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb
00:01:49Come on Cleo, let's go
00:02:05Please my brother's been in a coma the last two years
00:02:09We have no idea what the illness is if anyone can help cure him we will pay you handsomely the
00:02:14Lysander Armstrong
00:02:14This military family basically owns the entire global stock market. He's so hot
00:02:20Does he come with the money?
00:02:22Yes, he'll even marry you if you can cure him money fame power. It's all yours
00:02:31Are we still moving forward miss Trixie yes give the presidential contract to Marissa
00:02:37Oh, I have another call coming in
00:02:40Grandma I'm dying
00:02:42Save me Trixie
00:02:44Grandma when are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old
00:02:50I'm gonna keep you healthy forever grandma and butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married
00:02:57yet
00:02:58Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:04We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes
00:03:17Please go feed your dog miss. Don't let it starve like you. Oh kind stranger
00:03:21Let me repay you by granting you a wish grant me a wish and you can barely feed yourself the
00:03:27downfall of humanity
00:03:27It all starts with the loss of faith
00:03:30What? Oh, geez this is giving me a migraine. Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been
00:03:36doing that?
00:03:37I'm telling you to have some faith in me
00:03:40Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness
00:03:44Can you do that?
00:03:45I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to
00:03:49Cleo stay right here for a second. Don't go too far Cleo
00:03:55Oh
00:03:55Hold still
00:04:02My migraine's gone. Okay, then let's go if you can cure my brother. He'll even marry you
00:04:07Come on
00:04:21How is he? What is the diagnosis? Remember you will not marry him unless you cure him. I'm sorry. I
00:04:27don't know what this is
00:04:28Aren't you the queen of medicine? You're supposed to be one of the best. Don't worry general
00:04:32I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the east
00:04:37I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle
00:04:55I have no clue what this is
00:04:59Oh
00:05:00Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all
00:05:04That's why we saved the best for last me the witch doctor. I'll save your son Lysander
00:05:19He's not budging there's no movement truly I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't
00:05:26know what this is
00:05:28Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods and they've all failed if we
00:05:34can't save him
00:05:36There's only one person who can
00:05:38Who?
00:05:41The goddess of healing
00:05:45Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess you that's correct
00:05:49Her right rewrites the wrong and her left leaves the bereft
00:05:54That's her motto. It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her. She is
00:06:01eccentric and elusive
00:06:03No one has ever seen her before this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son
00:06:08I don't care if I go bankrupt
00:06:11I will find her James come
00:06:13Put out a voucher to the entire world. Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars. There's
00:06:21no need
00:06:34I'll save your son
00:06:36Who the hell is she dad? She says she can cure Lysander. She's gonna save your brother. Don't be ridiculous
00:06:42How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother? Exactly god, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier
00:06:49She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich. Ew, she even brought a filthy dog with her
00:06:55I bet it has fleas. That flea infested dirty thing is your companion. Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from
00:07:03us
00:07:07Don't touch him
00:07:10They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed
00:07:15So step aside. I'll take it from here. Could you hold this?
00:07:20Oh, you're not gonna touch my son
00:07:22I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general. I know a gold digging whore when I see
00:07:28one
00:07:28I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash
00:07:34Who knows what an unskilled whore girl like her would do for some? A skinny ass beggar trying to take
00:07:40advantage of Lysander Armstrong
00:07:41when he's unconscious
00:07:43ew
00:07:45Disgusting go back to being a prostitute security
00:07:48Get this std infested peasant out of here now. Let's go. If you throw me out, you're tossing away your
00:07:54son's last chance at life
00:07:58Oh
00:07:58Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for master Lysander into no avail
00:08:03Maybe we should give her a try
00:08:05You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud
00:08:08All right, I'll give you a shot
00:08:10But I warn you if you fail i'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall
00:08:16Is that any way to ask for help?
00:08:18You'd be blessed to have me and i'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness, but since i'm not
00:08:24welcome here
00:08:26I'll leave
00:08:28Devon come find me when you have a different wish
00:08:30Miss Trixie my brother is a hero to me. I can't lose him
00:08:35Well, if he's a hero to you
00:08:39Then that means he must be a good person
00:08:41My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack. Also, he's great with
00:08:46puppies. He'd make a great husband
00:08:49Who says I want to marry him?
00:08:51As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you
00:08:57Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her. I mean look at her
00:09:01Even if she cleaned herself up you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her
00:09:06Only those cut from the lowest ranks are bigger for such trivial matters
00:09:09Continue wasting your time, but i'm saving this patient
00:09:22Oh, okay
00:09:25What's happening
00:09:37What the hell are you doing?
00:09:39I knew she was a perv. She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us
00:09:43Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with the patient?
00:09:47Are you insane security smash her face in for licking my son?
00:09:51He's born with congenital heart disease has a peanut allergy and the condition he has is called
00:09:57Endogenic cryomorphy. Yeah, right. I mean no way you got all that just from licking him. Oh, okay
00:10:02I've studied every disease known to man, right? I even have the badge of universal medicine right here
00:10:08And i've never heard of endo cryo
00:10:12what what
00:10:14This
00:10:21Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here
00:10:23What what so you think that this this crummy walking stick of yours is is what the rod of a
00:10:30sepleus?
00:10:31Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:10:35I agree. I mean even if she does solve this medical mystery
00:10:38What is the point as of doctors who have studied for years? We are all certified
00:10:44But Lysander does have congenital heart disease
00:10:47She's right about everything
00:10:50Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnosis one of them is bound to be right
00:10:55And again, there is no such thing as endo cryo what what endogenic cryomorphy
00:10:59And of course none of you have heard of it because I just discovered it
00:11:04This condition only affects those with both chd and a peanut allergy the chances are a billion to one a
00:11:10hundred times rarer than winning the lottery
00:11:11But lucky for you all you've hit the jackpot by finding me
00:11:16What a bunch of baloney I mean you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good precisely you are
00:11:23just a scamming prostitute
00:11:25You don't compare to me us who actually studied real medicine
00:11:30I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school. Oh, so she went to the super circus
00:11:35instead
00:11:36And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases
00:11:40Which mean nothing if you can't wake him up is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:11:47If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up
00:11:51I think you all should grow parts of your brain back which by the way that condition is called
00:11:56An encephaly
00:11:57What is that supposed to mean?
00:11:58It means you're being schooled by me and i'm about to walk all over your medical licensees
00:12:04Then let's have a bet if you can't heal him
00:12:08We'll break your hands
00:12:10And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore
00:12:16These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined
00:12:20You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:12:23Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them
00:12:26There's too many lives at stake
00:12:30Don't worry, I got this
00:12:34It's a deal
00:12:35I'll save Lysander Armstrong
00:12:37No one is dying on my watch
00:12:44Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years
00:12:51Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:12:54Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything
00:13:05I'll even have Lysander my heir marry me
00:13:08I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband
00:13:10I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing
00:13:15Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees fahrenheit
00:13:18Wait, wait, wait, wait, what for?
00:13:19Don't listen to her
00:13:21She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her
00:13:26Firstly
00:13:27This is called greatness
00:13:29Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character
00:13:36What did you just call me?
00:13:40There's a man's life at stake here and you're standing in my way
00:13:44Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm
00:13:47Now stop getting in my way or I promise you
00:13:51You will be bubbling up the mouth very soon
00:13:53Oh yeah?
00:13:54Hey, you want to see real pain?
00:13:55Where's the dog?
00:13:56Well, put down the dog
00:13:57With pleasure
00:14:13Left leaves the wrong breath
00:14:18You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor
00:14:23She's been poisoned
00:14:25It was her
00:14:26Do you see any poison on me?
00:14:29Medicine in the right hands can save lives but in the wrong hands
00:14:32It becomes nothing but poison
00:14:34This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine
00:14:37Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:14:39Of course
00:14:40I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes
00:14:43If I want to save someone, even the grim reaper can't stop me
00:15:01Why is she spitting blood?
00:15:03This wasn't supposed to happen
00:15:04I thought you said even the grim reaper can't get in your way
00:15:07Angel herbalist
00:15:08This is what I call malpractice
00:15:12This isn't fatal, she'll live
00:15:14But she deserves a little punishment
00:15:16Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:15:18Jacuzzi is ready?
00:15:19Right this way
00:15:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what the hell is going on?
00:15:23You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:15:27Then stop getting in my way, every second counts
00:15:31Let's go for a dip, shall we?
00:15:35General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation
00:15:40Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:15:44Hold on, you two are going in there alone?
00:15:47If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in
00:15:53All right, but I warn you, no funny business
00:16:25You're right, so you just want them to let this hobo slut touch your son naked
00:16:52you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman general
00:16:56armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him she could blackmail you for millions that's what i
00:17:03would do if i was that poor and then the armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation
00:17:08held for ransom by a homeless woman dad you can't seriously be listening to that we have to have
00:17:14fate where did you actually find this little like uh on the streets are you shitting me you found
00:17:24this bum on the streets are you nuts you don't know her you don't know her background she could be
00:17:28a
00:17:29psychotic murder that is it general you have to go in and stop this now you're right that's it i'm
00:17:33shutting down this clown show right now james let's go yes sir oh my
00:17:46i told you all to stay out
00:17:52it's just a critical moment for you we can't be interrupted otherwise we both die
00:18:01i'm not gonna let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son
00:18:06i'm gonna save him myself
00:18:12you see that general this isn't just a gull-dicking con woman
00:18:15this is a witchcraft i know what this is this is the dark witch i've heard of her
00:18:22she uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young handsome men and then she eats them alive
00:18:28oh i'm gonna kill that bitch before she takes my son james get the swat team yes sir
00:18:47help me i just want
00:18:53something's wrong
00:18:56you were drunk with an aphrodisiac
00:18:58lysander armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
00:19:03that's the only thing i'm saving you from
00:19:12sir
00:19:12the swat team is here captain morales
00:19:17my son is trapped behind there with a devious man-eating witch
00:19:21i need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door
00:19:24rest assured general armstrong we'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive
00:19:41who the fuck are you and why the hell are we naked
00:19:46good you're awake i'm saving you
00:19:49saving me by bathing with me
00:19:52who are you your fucking spy
00:19:54talk i swear to god i'll have you arrested for this
00:19:59you're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stipper
00:20:03i will never
00:20:04oh really
00:20:17look who's guilty now
00:20:20look i don't know what the fuck this is all right but it is a biological fact
00:20:24a man is attracted to a naked woman
00:20:28and her brother's science okay it just means that my body
00:20:31oh shut up
00:20:35you're distracted me with your funny
00:20:37and i'm a professional
00:20:38i hear lysander's voice
00:20:40captain do something now
00:20:41ready
00:20:47we're almost there
00:20:49aim
00:20:51get him boys
00:20:52get him
00:20:54fire
00:20:56fire
00:20:57fire
00:21:10those
00:21:11damis hills
00:21:12how is this possible
00:21:13it's not even a scratch
00:21:15i told you this is dark magic
00:21:17of course your earthy bullets won't do a thing
00:21:20no
00:21:20i believe miss trixie is a good person
00:21:23she's not the dark witch
00:21:24young master armstrong
00:21:26you are too easily fooled
00:21:28this homeless psycho
00:21:29doesn't even have the skills to make a living
00:21:31how is she going to save someone else's life
00:21:33that's right
00:21:34the queen angel and i are already the top female doctors in the world
00:21:38if we can't save him no one can
00:21:40except for the goddess healer
00:21:41think about it we heard lysander's voice
00:21:44he's been in a coma for two years miss trixie must have woken him up
00:21:47you're right
00:21:47this homeless girl is maybe
00:21:50the goddess
00:21:53maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess
00:21:55no no absolutely not there's no way this hobo girl is better than us
00:22:01how could you know for sure right now what we need to do is not interrupt miss trixie
00:22:05you're wrong sir
00:22:06this homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on master lysander
00:22:10it's called borderline revival
00:22:12she uses torturous pain to wake the patient
00:22:15but only temporarily
00:22:17it's a trick
00:22:18to pull the wool over your eyes and ears
00:22:21that means my son is in tremendous pain
00:22:24i'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can
00:22:26to kill that antler rod bearing witch
00:22:29my son doesn't deserve this
00:22:31he is dying right now
00:22:32naked in a jacuzzi
00:22:34with a smelly vagrant
00:22:35that it looks like it's up to me
00:22:37the witch doctor
00:22:38only i know the right techniques to take her down
00:22:42my son's life is in your hands
00:22:44you heal him i will give you whatever your heart desires
00:22:48i don't know who you are
00:22:50but there is no way i am letting you rip my golden bachelor away from me
00:22:56this is it
00:22:56the finishing touch
00:22:59i must now give you the kiss of life
00:23:01so we can both survive
00:23:19it's poison gas
00:23:21that poison gas will smoke them out
00:23:23and end her torture over master lysander
00:23:26poison gas?
00:23:27my son is in there
00:23:28you're jeopardizing his life as well
00:23:30no don't worry general
00:23:32gold diggers like her only care about themselves
00:23:35soon
00:23:35she'll come out crying to mommy
00:23:37then we can reverse the poison on your son
00:23:40and then he can marry one of us
00:23:42they really won't stop until they get both of us killed
00:23:47i made a promise to you that i'd save you
00:23:50it's now or never
00:24:02what the hell are they doing in there it's been over ten minutes
00:24:05wait a second
00:24:07you don't think that they're
00:24:09you you suffocated my brother and miss trixie in there
00:24:12don't point your fingers at me
00:24:13if your brother's dead
00:24:15it's because of that homeless gold digger
00:24:17oh my god
00:24:17yeah she's the one who sealed the door shut
00:24:20i mean she probably locked themselves in there on accident
00:24:23miss trixie wouldn't have to do that
00:24:25if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother
00:24:27this is taking way too long
00:24:29captain morales
00:24:30it's time to get out
00:24:31the big guns
00:24:33these bazookas
00:24:34can flatten even a bomb shelter
00:24:36bazooka
00:24:37she won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself
00:24:40crap oh my god
00:24:41get back son
00:24:43ready
00:24:44aim
00:24:45oh shit
00:24:50quit your whining and stand down
00:25:02the parasite's been extracted
00:25:04shoot her dead now
00:25:05do i need to fix your hearing too
00:25:07i said stand down
00:25:10don't listen to her
00:25:11she's a fraud
00:25:12a termite to the field of medicine
00:25:14i just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care
00:25:18if i'm a termite then
00:25:20you're worse than a disease spreading tick
00:25:22wait a second
00:25:23are you saying you cured my son
00:25:25he'll wake in just a moment
00:25:26you can see for yourself
00:25:28well now you're just asking to be exposed
00:25:30that is it
00:25:31no more stalling general
00:25:33if you won't punish her
00:25:34i will
00:25:38don't hurt her
00:25:43he's a cure
00:25:49his pulse is regular
00:25:51in fact it's never been better
00:25:56there's no sign of illness infection or disease
00:26:05miss trixie did it dad
00:26:08lysander's warm again
00:26:09he's not cold and pale like before
00:26:10and his heart is strong
00:26:12come feel it
00:26:14i saved my son
00:26:16thank you
00:26:17next time don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will
00:26:20your son would have otherwise died
00:26:22by their greedy and unskilled hands
00:26:24i've learned my lesson
00:26:25i will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again
00:26:30wait wait no no
00:26:31there is only one person in the world
00:26:34who is more skilled in the field of medicine
00:26:36than the queen angel and i
00:26:39the goddess healer
00:26:44could you really be the goddess of healing
00:26:46but rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old
00:26:50and you don't look a day after 20
00:26:53it doesn't matter who i am
00:26:54what matters is that the patient is healthy again
00:26:57devon i've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother
00:27:00take care
00:27:01no wait
00:27:03miss trixie we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet
00:27:05he's right
00:27:07we are men of our words
00:27:08and as i promised you
00:27:09my heir lysander would take you as a wife if you cured him
00:27:12and you did just that
00:27:13of course
00:27:14you're welcome to marry me instead
00:27:16i really appreciate it but i'm sorry i i'm already engaged
00:27:25already engaged
00:27:26i am
00:27:27i've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years
00:27:30and he's coming back today
00:27:32but don't be disappointed
00:27:34really i'm no one special
00:27:36i just got lucky with your brother
00:27:38some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments
00:27:41but you're still lysander's savior please
00:27:43let me give you what i promised
00:27:45take the gold
00:27:46no really
00:27:48i don't need anything
00:27:49i just believe in doing good in the world
00:27:55tricksy
00:27:55it's your fiance
00:27:56he's back
00:27:57and he says he's breaking up with you
00:28:01i must go
00:28:08hobo close
00:28:09halo glow
00:28:11i bet the goddess healer is just like miss trixie
00:28:13it was just dumb luck
00:28:15she's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal
00:28:18she could have been the richest woman in the world
00:28:20marrying the hottest most powerful bachelor around
00:28:26i'm gonna marry that homeless woman
00:28:31oh my god
00:28:32i mean i don't know about that homeless bimbo but
00:28:35this is godly
00:28:38no no no no no lycander
00:28:40lycander our job is supposed to be mine
00:28:44i'd so much rather share him with you than let that panty-like ugly bitch have him
00:28:48you two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession
00:28:51take these two weirdos out of here
00:28:53and revoke their licenses
00:28:54wait no
00:28:55we're not brides
00:28:56no she's just better than us
00:28:59oh my god
00:29:02we were truly blessed to have miss trixie here huh
00:29:05she's no average jane
00:29:06no she isn't
00:29:07she said it was just dumb luck
00:29:09but if she truly had these special skills
00:29:11why did she wear that shit-stained dress
00:29:13and had an impeccable looking doll
00:29:15but think about the impenetrable walls
00:29:16no normal person could have done that
00:29:18goddess or not
00:29:20homeless or not i don't care
00:29:21i have never met a woman like that
00:29:23i have to find her
00:29:24i have to make her my life
00:29:25she won my heart over too
00:29:26but if my bestest big bro wants her
00:29:28i'll help you find her
00:29:30all right listen
00:29:31i need help finding three wedding gifts
00:29:38i'm dumping trixie
00:29:39so i want you
00:29:40your granddaughters
00:29:41filthy things
00:29:42out of my house
00:29:44now
00:29:45trixie paid for this house
00:29:47she waited for you
00:29:48for three years
00:29:50she was dumb enough to put my name on the lease
00:29:52and i'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now
00:29:54one with some serious
00:29:54fuck you money
00:29:56so get lost
00:29:57who gave you permission
00:29:59to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house
00:30:06grandma
00:30:07beatrice
00:30:08trixie
00:30:09amori
00:30:10i've been dying to throw this in your face
00:30:12i'm dumping you
00:30:13for your best friend
00:30:14marissa
00:30:16that
00:30:17the wedding's tomorrow
00:30:18so sign over the house
00:30:20now
00:30:25you gave me this ring and asked me to wait
00:30:28and i did
00:30:29for three years while you were deployed
00:30:31yet you cheat on me with my best friend
00:30:33and now you're trying to swindle my home
00:30:37do you have no shame
00:30:38we were together for three years
00:30:39and uh
00:30:40it was a complete waste of my life
00:30:42when i could have been with a loaded girl like marissa
00:30:49that's how much she would owe me if i was in the rent-to-boyfriend business
00:30:54i see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute
00:30:58prostitute
00:31:01oh yeah
00:31:02well marissa
00:31:05is so much better than you
00:31:06she grew up even poorer than you
00:31:09and now
00:31:10she's the ceo
00:31:11of an entire
00:31:13corporation
00:31:13and you
00:31:18you're still nothing
00:31:20so you think she's an upgrade
00:31:21of course she's an upgrade
00:31:23look what she uh
00:31:24got me for my
00:31:26engagement
00:31:27oops
00:31:27oops
00:31:28yeah
00:31:29that's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract i gave her
00:31:38you gave her the presidential contract?
00:31:40i certainly did
00:31:41in fact
00:31:42marissa
00:31:42you and your dimwit brother
00:31:45only have everything you have all thanks to me
00:31:51oh i think she's losing it bro
00:31:53that breakups have hit her hard
00:31:55you two are the ungrateful cheating scum here
00:31:59my granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone
00:32:05how dare you insult her
00:32:08it's okay grandma
00:32:09let's not stoop to that level
00:32:12we're edna
00:32:12she still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets huh
00:32:15what is he talking about josey
00:32:17show her bob
00:32:22this is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is
00:32:26she didn't purchase this house on her own
00:32:27she was begging on the street for money
00:32:31i can't be caught with a piss poor nobody like you
00:32:34even if you got no game
00:32:35i got street cred i got out of keep you dig
00:32:37the word you're looking for is dignity
00:32:40and you're one to speak
00:32:41cheater
00:32:44is this true tricksy?
00:32:48i've been broadening my horizons grandma
00:32:50i want to see how regular everyday people live
00:32:53so that i can help them
00:32:54of course those without substance underneath would never understand that
00:32:59what is that supposed to mean?
00:33:00it means
00:33:01the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade
00:33:03is actually a downgrade
00:33:08enough bullshitting already
00:33:09just sign the damn papers
00:33:10and we can each get on with our lives
00:33:23at your wedding i will
00:33:25what?
00:33:27if you won't do good by me of breaking things off
00:33:29before two-timing me with my best friend
00:33:31why should i do good by you?
00:33:33i'll give you my john hancock at your wedding
00:33:35as a charity
00:33:37to you
00:33:38fucking bitch!
00:33:39you better keep your word
00:33:40oh that's rich
00:33:42after tomorrow you will never feel so rich ever again
00:33:45do you remember that?
00:33:52tricksy
00:33:53marissa's a millionaire now
00:33:55they'll destroy you if you show
00:33:57even so much as a hair at their wedding
00:33:59grandma
00:34:00i have to confess something to you
00:34:02i've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions
00:34:05trillions?
00:34:07that would make you
00:34:09the richest person
00:34:10on the planet
00:34:11it's because of the healing hands
00:34:13i inherited from aseplius
00:34:14the god of healing
00:34:16i saved several world leaders with these hands
00:34:19that's how i was able to give marissa the presidential contract
00:34:22and become the goddess healer
00:34:24it makes me angrier
00:34:25hearing her name
00:34:26knowing how she betrayed you
00:34:28but please
00:34:29tricksy dear
00:34:30i know it must have broken your heart
00:34:32but
00:34:33embellishing your worth
00:34:35and who you are
00:34:35it will only delay the healing process
00:34:38you don't have to believe me just yet
00:34:40after we lost mom and dad
00:34:42because we didn't have the money
00:34:43for their medical bills
00:34:45i vowed that i would do everything i can
00:34:47to serve those in need
00:34:49that's why i'm taking everything back from butch
00:34:51and i'm giving it back to charity
00:34:52you've always had an angel's heart
00:34:54i'm certain you will meet someone
00:34:57who will treat you right
00:34:58who actually deserves you
00:35:00you will see tomorrow grandma
00:35:03oh yeah
00:35:09you said chixie's crashing your wedding
00:35:11she was bullying us too sasa
00:35:13she's probably trying to extort you
00:35:15now that she knows you're rich as fuck
00:35:16i hope when nobody steps on snake
00:35:19snake bites back hard
00:35:21so let her come and embarrass herself
00:35:24you mean
00:35:27we broadcast
00:35:28that video of you
00:35:32yes
00:35:32her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can
00:35:35she'll prop me up higher on my pedestal
00:35:37and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:35:39against my presidential glow up
00:35:41let's turn this party into her funeral
00:35:49there he is
00:35:52welcome home brother
00:35:54welcome home general
00:35:57sir
00:35:57the homeless woman who saved you miss trixie
00:36:00this is the file of her ex butch tanner
00:36:02he served with your regiment in the marines
00:36:04you mean the butch tanner that could barely carry supplies
00:36:06well she's been providing for him and his entire family
00:36:08while he's been deployed overseas sir
00:36:10so she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her
00:36:12fucking coward
00:36:13according to intel she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding
00:36:16and we should join her
00:36:18men
00:36:19i'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman
00:36:21and her incredible power
00:36:22that saved my life
00:36:24so she needs our support
00:36:25will you join me in protecting her
00:36:26yes sir
00:36:27we will allow her to protect her
00:36:29sir
00:36:30well let's roll
00:36:44welcome everyone to my wedding
00:36:46today is a very special day for me and butch
00:36:48not only are we getting married
00:36:50but in just one hour my company will be receiving the presidential contract
00:36:53allowing my biomedical company to go public
00:36:59congratulations on the contract once again mrs
00:37:01like him
00:37:02stope i just taking my last name
00:37:04oh and please don't be so uptight secretary cho
00:37:07you are the secretary of the entire u.s health department
00:37:10but this is a partay after all
00:37:12i see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you
00:37:18the u.s president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself
00:37:23it's an honor and that's why sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of
00:37:29we will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight let the wedding begin
00:37:35not so fast the party doesn't start until i say it does
00:37:58you two really are a match made in hell
00:38:01so i've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck
00:38:04i don't recognize it from any of our elite circles who is she
00:38:07uh this is our entertainment for tonight sir just watch
00:38:13trixie what are you doing here this isn't the homeless shelter you lost
00:38:17i bet she's here to bum a meal off us
00:38:19you know being this poor
00:38:22me bum a meal have you forgotten that it was i who bankrolled you two for the last three years
00:38:27and what evidence do you have of that
00:38:29look at me then go look at yourself in the mirror
00:38:31i'm a millionaire ceo
00:38:33even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me
00:38:37and you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat
00:38:40sasa she's like so obsessed with me
00:38:43see everyone budge already cut ties with his ex but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up
00:38:51to my wedding to suck up to me
00:38:52this is what poor sad girls do they beg for scraps from us the rich and glorious
00:38:59projecting much marissa you might feel all high and mighty now but don't bite the hand that feeds you
00:39:04especially when i'm the one who's giving you the contract
00:39:11you giving me the contract you have no skills no education no connection so how could you possibly have a
00:39:19pool to get the u.s. fucking president to give me a billion dollar contract
00:39:23we both share humble beginnings marissa and i saw potential in you even trusted you as my best friend
00:39:29but i recognize now that greed has poisoned you
00:39:32don't be all sore now just because i stole your man
00:39:35this is what us rich girls do
00:39:37they steal from lane spinsters for fun
00:39:40damn right
00:39:41you were too embarrassing for me
00:39:44sasa tramples you any day
00:39:46i can say that now that i'm marrying the rich
00:39:49bravo
00:39:49self-admission of a gold digger
00:39:51quick somebody put that on a memoir
00:39:53sasa she's embarrassing me in front of everyone
00:39:55you should make yourself
00:39:56don't listen to her everyone
00:39:57she's the gold digging blood sucking leech
00:40:00i don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me butch
00:40:06you may look and sound like a man
00:40:07but you're nothing but a pathetic coward
00:40:09okay enough
00:40:10you know what i always couldn't stand about you
00:40:12your moral posturing
00:40:14but guess what
00:40:15morals are just lies to make you and girls feel better about yourselves
00:40:19that's why no man will choose you over marissa trixie
00:40:22because i've got the material goods
00:40:24and you're just all empty talk
00:40:25i'm not here to request to be chosen
00:40:28because i'm the one who's doing the choosing
00:40:48the one who's supposed to make us all rich as fuck
00:40:50no absolutely not i don't believe it
00:40:54you all sound so scared already
00:40:55don't worry
00:40:56this isn't that contract
00:40:59it's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me
00:41:04see everyone
00:41:05she's just trying to bluff us
00:41:06but you don't even have the guts to go all the way
00:41:08look at her following orders
00:41:09i asked her to sign over the lease and here she is
00:41:12like a good little uh
00:41:13peasant slave
00:41:14that houses were all her life savings
00:41:20you want to uh i don't know beg for a little treat while you're at it
00:41:32you misunderstand me
00:41:34i'm here to take back everything i've ever given you
00:41:36i'm giving it to charity
00:41:44bro
00:41:45she's gone cuckoo in the head
00:41:46she thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress
00:41:49she can pretend to be a deep pocket investment baddie
00:41:51you wish you had that kind of money to just toss away trixie
00:41:53it's just a drop in the bucket for me
00:41:55uh i i know what this is
00:41:58you've gotten delusional
00:41:59and you think you're cinderella
00:42:00so you can just show up to a fancy party
00:42:02and some prince charming will scoop you into money forever
00:42:05well that's not happening
00:42:06security lock the doors
00:42:08this woman doesn't leave until we're through with her
00:42:13this is where your dreams will die bitch
00:42:18we found miss trixie lysander
00:42:19she's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the wickham wedding right now
00:42:22butch tanner
00:42:23well he's gonna wish he died in battle after i'm done with him
00:42:26let's go
00:42:30you think a few toy guns scare me marissa
00:42:32i've saved plenty of people from much worse
00:42:36including your head of command butch
00:42:38general lysander armstrong
00:42:40you mean the legendary war hero
00:42:42he's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack
00:42:46you're an unskilled
00:42:47unemployed
00:42:48ugly leech
00:42:49so how could you possibly have this magical ability
00:42:52to heal someone like general lysander armstrong
00:42:55no one here is gonna believe you
00:42:56if you really cured the incurable general
00:42:58then sasa is the fucking virgin mary
00:43:01and she's not
00:43:02you're just asking to be humiliated trixie
00:43:05show them butch
00:43:11see for yourselves everyone
00:43:13trixie's just a reloading beggar
00:43:18she won't leave me and marissa alone cause we're rich as fuck now
00:43:21i'm a major in the marines
00:43:23sasa
00:43:24she has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military
00:43:28approved by the first female president of the united states herself bitch
00:43:33how despicable
00:43:34she's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger
00:43:38get out of here no one wants to marry you
00:43:39no free meals for the poor
00:43:41do you see this trixie
00:43:43this is high society
00:43:45so you're either born on a silver spoon
00:43:47or you're as accomplished as me to be here
00:43:49maybe if you do some serious dick sucking here
00:43:52maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can
00:43:57i already have everything one can dream of
00:43:59but i valued our friendship marissa
00:44:01which is why i came here to give you a second chance
00:44:03to see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing
00:44:06but no
00:44:08you stooped so low
00:44:09it disgusts me
00:44:11nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners
00:44:14like a bum
00:44:14and who knows
00:44:16if you've already started offering
00:44:17sexual services
00:44:20well then
00:44:21why don't you get on your knees for me trixie
00:44:23my brother
00:44:24will never take you back
00:44:25no man will marry an embarrassment like you
00:44:28but make me happy
00:44:30and i might consider making you my
00:44:32personal prostitute
00:44:43how dare you hit my brother
00:44:44i'm never letting you leave here alive
00:44:47that's awesome
00:44:48or something
00:44:49don't worry my dear
00:44:50after i'm done with you trixie
00:44:52not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you
00:44:55oh
00:44:56is that so
00:44:58security
00:45:00get down on your knees
00:45:01and give bob one hell of a blowjob
00:45:04in front of everybody here
00:45:05or i'll pop so many holes in you
00:45:07the men here won't know which one to fuck
00:45:09i don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you
00:45:11any of the powerful leaders i've saved before
00:45:14could crush you
00:45:15before you even touch me
00:45:16dream on
00:45:18you wish general lysander scooped you off your feet
00:45:20but you weren't good enough for me
00:45:22you're definitely not good enough for him
00:45:24enough
00:45:25you're souring my party
00:45:26so you either get the fuck out
00:45:29or i'm gonna shoot you
00:45:31on the count of three
00:45:32i think i quite like it here
00:45:33two
00:45:45this wine is so delicious
00:45:47one
00:45:48shoot
00:45:50nobody is laying a hand on my future wife
00:46:09who the hell is this
00:46:14i'm sorry that i'm late
00:46:15did they hurt you
00:46:16no
00:46:17i'm fine
00:46:18but um
00:46:19when did i become your future wife
00:46:22you saved me
00:46:24trixie
00:46:24remember
00:46:25i'm a man of my word
00:46:27they're never gonna hurt you ever again
00:46:28really
00:46:29it was nothing
00:46:31i saved you because you're a good man
00:46:33not because i want you to owe me any favors
00:46:40i see what this is
00:46:41you're the one who cheated on me trixie
00:46:43look at you guys all lovey dub
00:46:45don't try to pin this on her
00:46:46she waited for you for three years
00:46:48this is the kind of woman of virtue
00:46:49that a man would die for
00:46:52virtue
00:46:53don't make me laugh
00:46:55she's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash
00:46:57no man
00:46:58who in a hundred foot pole
00:47:00would want to touch her
00:47:01she should be happy
00:47:02bob was willing to give her some
00:47:07i see her in the marines
00:47:10i'm a major
00:47:12look man
00:47:12i know trixie is like a
00:47:14i don't know
00:47:15like a seven
00:47:16now that she's all cleaned up
00:47:17but don't waste your manhood
00:47:18on a whiny
00:47:19worthless woman like that
00:47:25a real man
00:47:27never talks about a woman in la
00:47:30you're a coward
00:47:39we don't need to fight fire with fire
00:47:41to deal with the likes of them
00:47:43you're very gracious trixie
00:47:44you know that
00:47:47you're only getting off with it
00:47:48because she's so kind
00:47:49so you're gonna do me the favor
00:47:50of never coming near her again
00:47:51you understand
00:47:52you wanna fuck with me
00:47:53you little dipshit
00:47:54i'm a fucking major
00:47:55you're probably lowest rank
00:47:56of the military grunts
00:47:57i'll destroy you
00:47:59do you really not know
00:48:01who this is butch
00:48:01i thought you were in the marines
00:48:03what have you been doing
00:48:04this whole time
00:48:05if you don't know
00:48:05who this war hero is
00:48:07he was just a supply boy
00:48:11war hero
00:48:13is this all part of your plan
00:48:14trixie
00:48:15poor girl
00:48:16did you sell your house
00:48:17to hire this actor
00:48:18so you can feel better
00:48:19about yourself
00:48:20a woman's worth
00:48:21is tied to the man
00:48:21she marries
00:48:22trixie is worthless
00:48:23cause that guy looks like
00:48:24a cowboy
00:48:28a bum girl
00:48:29and a pimp
00:48:30what a pair
00:48:32seems like they don't know
00:48:33who you are
00:48:33since you've been out of action
00:48:34for so long
00:48:35we should try to lay some
00:48:36off some more
00:48:37don't you think
00:48:39bring in the wedding gifts
00:48:47what is all this
00:48:48trixie listen
00:48:49i know that you didn't ask
00:48:50for anything
00:48:50after you saved my life
00:48:53but i know that we shared
00:48:54a moment
00:48:57i'm not the kind of man
00:48:58to get close to a woman
00:48:59and then just disappear
00:49:00it's not in my nature
00:49:03i'm like somebody else here
00:49:05listen trixie
00:49:06i have never
00:49:08met a woman
00:49:10like you
00:49:11so incredible
00:49:12and kind
00:49:13and beautiful
00:49:14so i know
00:49:15that you're the one for me
00:49:18this guy's either nuts
00:49:19or a really
00:49:21really good actor
00:49:22Oscar worthy
00:49:23Oscar worthy
00:49:24no
00:49:26first gift
00:49:31trixie i know that you just lost your home
00:49:33so i'm gifting you with your own new mansion
00:49:36worth 500 million dollars
00:49:38previously owned by
00:49:39jennifer aniston
00:49:42second guess
00:49:45this contains all the rights to
00:49:47my entire fortune
00:49:48which is now yours
00:49:50entire fortune from a cowboy actor
00:49:52it must be that easy
00:49:54they already spent their entire life savings
00:49:55on this clown show
00:49:56they've got nothing left
00:49:57why sander
00:49:58i really don't care for any of us
00:50:00look i i know
00:50:01i know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman
00:50:04okay
00:50:05which is exactly why
00:50:06well my third gift
00:50:07is um
00:50:09well
00:50:13oh
00:50:20oh
00:50:21oh
00:50:24Cleo
00:50:24hey
00:50:26oh my god
00:50:28you found my dog
00:50:33Trixie i'm just a man
00:50:34but with you it's so much more
00:50:36Trixie amore
00:50:40will you marry me
00:50:44you know i can't say no to this doggo
00:50:49yes
00:50:49i will marry you
00:51:05go go power couple
00:51:07woo
00:51:08okay stop
00:51:09the only power couple here is butch and i
00:51:13let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is
00:51:17no man in their right mind
00:51:19would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:51:22hey
00:51:23i don't care if she's homeless or not
00:51:24but i'm making this woman my wife
00:51:26which means that she will be treated as
00:51:28and cherished as
00:51:29the most precious woman on earth
00:51:31understand
00:51:35you still don't realize
00:51:37that my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:51:39this is general
00:51:41lysander armstrong
00:51:49as if
00:51:50like the almighty general lysander armstrong
00:51:52would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie
00:51:55yes the armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market
00:51:58lysander armstrong would sooner marry the princess of england than someone from the lowest rank of society
00:52:03i bet my life you're all just
00:52:05vendors
00:52:06then you better enjoy your last breath
00:52:08come on lysander what are we waiting for
00:52:09let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie
00:52:11what can a bunch of piss poor people do to us
00:52:13the elites
00:52:14infect us with your poor people bad luck
00:52:17she wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:52:20truth is she's just a useless
00:52:22lazy bitchin bum
00:52:23she's utterly unmarriable
00:52:28i can dispose of them
00:52:29in other means if you don't prefer violence
00:52:31i'd handle them myself but
00:52:35i'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:52:37go ahead lysander
00:52:44yes hello this is lysander please
00:52:46bankrupt the marissa wickham for me
00:52:49oh my gosh i'm so scared
00:52:51anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:53:00uh hello yes
00:53:03what
00:53:08i'm bankrupt
00:53:18hey hey hey hey are you sure that was the call sasa that that was a real call
00:53:22people don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:53:24my company's dead
00:53:26evaporated book
00:53:27it's a thin air
00:53:30that's impossible
00:53:32who are you
00:53:33what did you do
00:53:34secretary cho
00:53:36you said you're the secretary of health right
00:53:38and you yourself said that the armstrong family owns the entire global stock market
00:53:41could that be how they bankrupted miss wickham
00:53:45then that means
00:53:47you're
00:53:48really lysander armstrong
00:53:50the richest and most powerful man in the country
00:53:53trixie's married
00:53:54the famed war hero
00:53:56the man every girl wants and every man wants to be
00:54:00now you believe me
00:54:02those who do bad will always end up losing everything
00:54:05there's got to be some trick to this
00:54:07you guys are just bums trying to extort money from us
00:54:09it's awesome
00:54:10it's awesome
00:54:14i know why you're all over trixie
00:54:20because you've been in the military for so long
00:54:21you don't know what a real woman can do for you
00:54:24let me take you to my wedding chamber
00:54:25and i'll show you a good time
00:54:29do you have your hands for me
00:54:30or i'll have them removed from you
00:54:32i would never be interested in a woman
00:54:38who's as vile and cruel and wicked
00:54:41as you are
00:54:41guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
00:54:46sasa was just trying to save the company
00:54:48i don't blame her at all
00:54:49your double standards are incredible
00:54:51okay you don't want me
00:54:53fine
00:54:53but there's plenty of other efficiency
00:54:55i can give you a room full of pageant winners
00:54:5718 years old
00:54:59rush for the taking
00:55:06i did that so you wouldn't have to
00:55:08miss trixine
00:55:09thank you devon
00:55:11marissa
00:55:12not only have you backstabbed me
00:55:14your best friend
00:55:15by stealing my fiance
00:55:17but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back
00:55:20you're an insult to all good women out there
00:55:23no to all of humanity
00:55:24so now
00:55:25everything that i've ever given you to
00:55:27i'm taking it all back
00:55:31wait everyone stop
00:55:34they're imposters
00:55:36i just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
00:55:43because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
00:55:45so we won't go bankrupt
00:55:48the goddess healer
00:55:49you mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine
00:55:52approved of my biomedical products
00:55:54yes that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
00:55:58the goddess healer's motto is
00:56:00the right rewrites the wrong
00:56:02the left leave the wrong
00:56:03the left
00:56:05that means she's rewarding me
00:56:06the president would never let your company go bankrupt
00:56:09in fact
00:56:10she's on her way now
00:56:13so you're telling me
00:56:14this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here
00:56:17isn't Lysander Armstrong
00:56:19who the fuck cares who he is
00:56:20if the president and the goddess healer
00:56:22approves of my products
00:56:23who cares about this washed up war hero
00:56:25we can break his legs break his arms
00:56:27no one would even bat an eye
00:56:28she even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services
00:56:32FBI
00:56:33FBI
00:56:35you're under arrest for fraudulent claims
00:56:37and identity theft
00:56:39gotcha
00:56:44guess i still get the last laugh tricksy
00:56:46no don't arrest her
00:56:48tricksy is a good person
00:56:50please officer don't arrest her
00:56:52grandma
00:56:52mr rogers
00:56:54this is williams
00:56:55what are you all doing here
00:56:56the neighbors heard about the breakup between you and butch
00:56:58we were worried
00:56:59so we came here to back you up
00:57:01listen officer
00:57:02i can attest that tricksy amoria is a good neighbor
00:57:05she's very kind hearted
00:57:07and would never break the law
00:57:08yes and one time when my daughter needed university tuition
00:57:11tricksy gave her everything she had just to help her out
00:57:14she also paid for my recent heart surgery as well
00:57:17my fiance really is an incredible woman
00:57:20she's an angel descended from heaven
00:57:26you must be the criminal pretending to be general lysander armstrong
00:57:30my brother is not a criminal
00:57:32he's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
00:57:35without him this whole country would have been bombed to ash
00:57:39and that's why it's twice the crime is stealing his identity
00:57:42general lysander armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist
00:57:45and we've received no word that he's woken up yet so this must be an impulsion
00:57:50i can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble
00:57:53i promise i'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex
00:57:59if you want to arrest me fine
00:58:02but don't fuck with my fiance
00:58:03you don't get to decide punk
00:58:05let's go
00:58:25get him
00:58:27if you can
00:58:28oh
00:58:30oh
00:58:31oh
00:58:32oh
00:58:34oh
00:58:35oh
00:58:37oh
00:58:37oh
00:58:54oh
00:59:14Is that enough pain, or do you want more?
00:59:24Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
00:59:28Grandma, meet my new fiancé.
00:59:33Wow, your new fiancé?
00:59:35He's so manly.
00:59:37Much better than your last one.
00:59:39I always knew you'd find someone better.
00:59:41It's Butch's loss.
00:59:43Trixie has always paid so much better than Marissa.
00:59:45She's like a shining star in the sky, and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
00:59:51Bitch, we name-calling now?
00:59:52I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, fam?
00:59:55Drown out the poor!
01:00:02See, Trixie? You've got no connections, no power.
01:00:06You can't compete against me even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:00:09We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:00:11So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:00:16Let them eat cake!
01:00:18Hm.
01:00:26You can't shoot all of them.
01:00:27Grab what you can, fam.
01:00:29Attack!
01:00:45You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:00:52What the fuck was that?
01:00:54I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:00:55I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:01:04Damn it!
01:01:05Damn it!
01:01:06Damn it!
01:01:06Damn it!
01:01:08You forgot I had a gun too.
01:01:10That'll teach you from messing with the Wickhams.
01:01:12Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:01:14We're cornered.
01:01:14I will sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:01:17Devon, you and your brother are both good men.
01:01:20I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:01:22They will be punished.
01:01:26Now hold still for me.
01:01:29Right.
01:01:30Rewrites the world.
01:01:41Holy fuck!
01:01:42Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:01:44By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:01:45Is she the goddess healer?
01:01:50I'm all better now.
01:01:52Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:01:53See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:01:56No.
01:01:57Please.
01:01:57I am just an ordinary girl.
01:01:59Don't put me on some sort of goddess.
01:02:00Sure.
01:02:02You hear that?
01:02:03She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:02:06She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:02:08Well, I do not care for glory.
01:02:10I do believe in justice.
01:02:12Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me,
01:02:15but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:02:17I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:02:19And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:02:21God?
01:02:22Wrong.
01:02:24But you're close.
01:02:26Bullshit.
01:02:27I'm gonna show you how the elite can travel in your little lives.
01:02:31You want to cross the line so bad?
01:02:33Then let's see you try.
01:02:34Charge!
01:02:43The hell is this?
01:02:44This is the line between life and death.
01:02:48Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:02:51I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:02:56You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:02:57What if it's a trap?
01:02:58That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:03:00We ain't afraid of her.
01:03:01She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:03:04Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:03:07I will.
01:03:10Left leaves the wrong left.
01:03:18I'm fine.
01:03:19Nothing happens.
01:03:21You'll see soon enough.
01:03:22Oh, please.
01:03:22I really want to die.
01:03:24And you call this the line between life and death?
01:03:27I knew we were just making that shit up.
01:03:29Whoops.
01:03:29Just crossed it again.
01:03:31Whoops.
01:03:31And again.
01:03:33Nothing's happening.
01:03:43No!
01:03:44No!
01:03:45Hey!
01:03:47What did you do to my brother?
01:03:48I didn't do anything.
01:03:50Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:03:52I suggest you take him to the ER if you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:03:57Come on.
01:03:59Major.
01:03:59Are you not going to help your own brother?
01:04:01How was he able to cross the line?
01:04:03See?
01:04:03This must be an illusion.
01:04:07Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:04:10Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:04:18You're so sore I wouldn't marry you if you'd go and hurt my brother.
01:04:21Oh, please.
01:04:22You hurt us first.
01:04:24At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:04:26But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:04:30Marissa, thanks for taking this low life from me.
01:04:34You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:04:37You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:04:42When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:04:47Don't touch my wife.
01:04:50And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:04:55You can daydream all you want now, Trixie, but when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking
01:05:00truck.
01:05:01That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:05:04Oh, really?
01:05:05Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:05:08You've got nothing on me.
01:05:13Yes.
01:05:14Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:05:20Goddess!
01:05:21Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:05:24Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:05:28Get the VP. We're leaving now.
01:05:33Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:05:36God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:05:39I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:05:42You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:05:43A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming.
01:05:47Miss Wickham is correct.
01:05:48I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:05:50Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:05:53You hear that, everyone?
01:05:55There is no way lowlife Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:06:00She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention,
01:06:03so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:06:05No.
01:06:06My granddaughter would never do that.
01:06:08Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:06:13Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:06:21Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:06:26and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:06:30Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:06:34I never realized how delusional they were.
01:06:36You can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:06:42Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:06:46It ain't working.
01:06:47You can't just fake the...
01:06:51Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary.
01:06:54It's like real magic.
01:06:55Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:07:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:07:07No.
01:07:08Trixie, look.
01:07:10I believe you.
01:07:11You saved me.
01:07:13Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:07:16No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:07:19We'll riot against you now.
01:07:21Tear her apart!
01:07:22Tear her apart!
01:07:24Tear her apart!
01:07:25Tear her apart!
01:07:26Tear her apart!
01:07:27Tear her apart!
01:07:28Tear her apart!
01:07:29Tear her apart!
01:07:30Tear her apart!
01:07:31Tear her apart!
01:07:33Tear her apart!
01:07:43Tear her apart!
01:07:45Tear her apart!
01:07:45Tear her apart!
01:07:45Tear her apart!
01:07:45Tear her apart!
01:07:45Tear her apart!
01:07:45Tear her apart!
01:07:45Tear her apart!
01:07:49Tear her apart!
01:07:53Tear her apart!
01:07:56Tear her apart!
01:07:59Jerry Joe? This actor Trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:08:05But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:08:09Yes. We all thought he was a fraud.
01:08:11What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:08:16And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:08:19The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell.
01:08:22And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:08:26So he is the general. Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:08:30Did you hear that? Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:08:35So what if Trixie picked up some washed up war hero? We got the VP and the president.
01:08:40On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:08:44I told you. Now punish them, Vice President Langley. This is treason.
01:08:49Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:08:56Hurry! The goddess healer needs us.
01:09:00You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:09:03My brother is a war hero.
01:09:04He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:09:06He was in a coma for two years.
01:09:08If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:09:09Enough!
01:09:10You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:09:14Not just your brother.
01:09:16Yeah.
01:09:17It's okay.
01:09:18Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:09:21I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancée's life.
01:09:26And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:09:28I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:09:33I truly saved a good man.
01:09:39I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancée.
01:09:42And what can you do about it?
01:09:44Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:09:47My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:09:51Let's try it out on them.
01:09:54Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:09:55There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:09:57Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:09:59Despicable!
01:10:00What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:10:05Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:10:08Did you hear that, boys?
01:10:13Oh!
01:10:21Shoot!
01:10:22Wait, that's the President.
01:10:34Help!
01:10:35Idiots!
01:10:42Oh, my gosh!
01:10:44I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:10:46That was...
01:10:47They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:10:50What is this?
01:10:51Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:10:55This is a war crime.
01:10:56These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:10:59You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:11:00I can shoot whoever I want.
01:11:01I have the presidential contract.
01:11:03With great power comes great responsibility.
01:11:05And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:11:09What are you doing?
01:11:10Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:11:13That is easy.
01:11:14There's no need.
01:11:16I'll save everyone.
01:11:29It's raining gold.
01:11:32What's happening?
01:11:34Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:11:36It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:11:39She... she... she is...
01:11:41She is a criminal!
01:11:43Don't worry, Madam President, we will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison!
01:11:46I'd be quiet if I were you, because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is
01:11:49healed up.
01:11:50What are you talking about?
01:11:51The President literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract!
01:12:04This contract?
01:12:06Yes! Thank you, first gentleman.
01:12:23My contract, you bitch!
01:12:26And that's not all.
01:12:38This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:12:40There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus, don't you realize?
01:12:44Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:12:47You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:12:50Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:12:52And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:12:54So prepare yourself, because I'm about to smite you.
01:12:59What are you going to do?
01:13:00The President is here, and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:13:06You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:13:09Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:13:12So what's your final decision?
01:13:15I'll...
01:13:16She's going to give me my billion dollar!
01:13:23I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:13:29Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:13:31You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar contract!
01:13:34You wish!
01:13:35You idiot!
01:13:37I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:13:42I-I-I don't understand, I was just trying to punish these impostors for posing as the goddess of healing!
01:13:49And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:13:54You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:13:58The one and only.
01:14:01And it's...
01:14:03Her.
01:14:15Whaaaaat?!
01:14:18Welcome, goddess.
01:14:25Uh, we, uh...
01:14:29You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:14:31How else did you think I saved you?
01:14:34Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:14:38I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:14:41To help those in need.
01:14:42And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:14:46No, so that means...
01:14:47The billion dollar contract, it-it was you who gave it to me?
01:14:51She took her away just like that.
01:14:54That was her golden ticket.
01:14:55You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:14:58But after everything you've done,
01:15:00I'm officially cutting ties with you, Bo.
01:15:02No, please, I swear.
01:15:03I didn't know you were an exclusive.
01:15:07It doesn't matter who she is.
01:15:09Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:15:10She's an amazing person.
01:15:12And you ruin that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:15:15She's gonna be my wife.
01:15:16Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:15:24I love you.
01:15:37All her gold.
01:15:38All her glory.
01:15:40All that could have been mine.
01:15:41This is all your fault.
01:15:43You seduced me!
01:15:46You were the one that came onto me, you himbo!
01:15:49Please, Trixie, give me another chance!
01:15:53I wanna be rich again!
01:15:54I'll be your slave.
01:15:56I'll kiss the ground you walk on!
01:15:58You've had your chance to apologize.
01:16:00But it's too late now.
01:16:01All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:16:05You two should be locked up.
01:16:07And she shall.
01:16:09For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:16:11arrest Maritza and Butch Wickham.
01:16:14It's all your fault, Maritza.
01:16:16I never loved you.
01:16:17It's your fault!
01:16:18I was only with you for your money.
01:16:20You were rich!
01:16:22I'll see myself now!
01:16:24Rest assured, goddess.
01:16:26We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:16:29My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:16:32I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:16:34That is why I saved you.
01:16:36With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:16:42Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:16:46Let's party!
01:16:48Wait, what if we just got married?
01:16:50Right now?
01:16:51Yes!
01:16:55Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:17:00I do.
01:17:01You may kiss the bride.
01:17:16No doubt.
01:17:17It only has a flaw in my life.
01:17:25I won't year ahead.
01:17:26But I'm going to go after it.
01:17:26I'm going to go after...
01:17:26I'm going after this wedding.
01:17:27I don't know.
01:17:27I'm going after this wedding.
01:17:27Right now?
01:17:28And I'm going to?
01:17:28You're going after that wedding.
01:17:44I'm going after it.
01:17:45I'm going after this wedding.
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