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House of 1000 Corpses (2003) Rob Zombie’s Cult Nightmare [Full Movie] [Trending]Full EP - Full
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00:00:26For more information, visit our website.
00:00:30Attention boys and girls, it's time for Dr. Wolfenstein's Creature Feature Show.
00:00:40Ah! The Doctor is in! Don't scream! Don't move!
00:00:47Stay tuned for Channel 68's Halloween Eve!
00:00:51Leave there a far!
00:00:55I'm your host, your ghost host, with the most, Dr. Wolfenstein.
00:01:01I will be with you until the end.
00:01:13Howdy, folks! Bloody blood, violence, freaks of nature.
00:01:17Well, then, come on down to Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Mad Men.
00:01:22Ha ha! Yeah, see the alligator boy. Ride my famous murder ride.
00:01:27Most of all, don't forget to take home some of my tasty fried chicken!
00:01:32Ha ha! It just tastes so damn good!
00:01:54BAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK
00:01:58See it, hear it, and actually feel it.
00:02:05Rooting after you to rip your flesh apart.
00:02:11Unbelievable by truth.
00:02:15See it, hear it, and actually feel it.
00:02:33Shit, I can't do nothing with this now. I can get rid of this.
00:02:37It ain't worth nothing. My name's all over it.
00:02:40I was fixing the trade of the Jackie Cobb.
00:02:43That retard that hangs out in Molly's fruit stand?
00:02:46Yeah.
00:02:46You know, for the life of me, I cannot understand why you hang out with me.
00:02:49that asshole? He's one horny retard. Well, they tell. All they want to do is eat and fuck. Well,
00:02:55if you know him, you might understand his urges. Ah, worse than a rabid-ass baboon. Yeah. You know
00:03:01what his favorite thing is next to whacking his weasel? He takes a sharpened pencil and sticks it
00:03:07in his eyeball and twists it. What? He doesn't hurt himself, though. He kind of twists it right
00:03:11next to his eyeball. He's been putting that pencil someplace other than his eyeball. Nah, he don't do
00:03:17nothing like that. Although once he got caught, you know, with a planet of the Apes doll stuck
00:03:22up his asshole. God damn! They had to take him to the hospital. Kid had Dr. Z stuck halfway
00:03:31up his butt. Let him get it out.
00:03:45Did you fix the toilet yet? Yes, I did, and I don't want you stuffing any goddamn paper
00:03:50towels down there. I had to snake the shit out that thing. Here you go. Now, you bust that
00:03:57scrapper, I'm gonna bust your ass. I hear ya.
00:04:20I'll bust the holes in the size of a Kansas City watermelon through your ugly ass. I'm gonna
00:04:21get it out of here. You clowny, keep your paws where I can see them. Yeah, don't move. I'll
00:04:26blast the holes in the size of a Kansas City watermelon through your ugly ass. I'm gonna bust
00:04:30you. Bozo face! What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Go grab that other asshole out of
00:04:35the shitter and drag his ass back in here. Right. You miserable motherfucker. I oughta jump
00:04:43over this counter and bash your fuckin' balls in. All right, Tippi, hand over the cash box and
00:04:49I might leave your brains inside your skull. Well, I tell you what, Ski King, why don't you
00:04:54just take your momma home some chicken and then I won't have to stuff my boot all up in
00:04:59your ass. I don't like chicken and I hate clowns.
00:05:10Put that shit down! Put it down!
00:05:17That is it! I'm gonna count to ten and you're gonna hand over all the cash or I'm gonna splatter
00:05:23your grease paint mug across the state line! One!
00:05:27Fuck your momma! Two!
00:05:29Fuck your sister! What are we gonna do?
00:05:32Hey, I know you. You work at the hardware store, right? Richard Wick, right?
00:05:35Shut your trap! Quiet down! Both of you! Three!
00:05:39Fuck your grandma! Yeah, I remember now. All the guys made fun of you. Call you little dickwick.
00:05:44Sh-shut up! Little dickwick, play with his prick. Don't the smell just make you sick.
00:05:49Stop singing! I hate that song! Your fucking mask back on!
00:05:55Fuck it!
00:06:07Fuck it!
00:06:14Fuck it!
00:06:19Most of all, fuck you.
00:06:24Goddamn motherfucker got blood all over my best clown suit.
00:06:47Yeah, she got a corpse under her bed.
00:06:52She had fun, but now he's dead.
00:06:57Her mama said, come feed desire.
00:07:01Her brother said, hey, throw money.
00:07:05This is the house, come on in.
00:07:09This is the house, built on sin.
00:07:13This is the house, nobody will live.
00:07:18This is the house, get what you can.
00:07:22Yeah, yeah.
00:07:39Cut the flesh and make it bleed.
00:07:43Free skin is what I need.
00:07:48I let it dry out in the woods.
00:07:52All you're crying did no good.
00:07:56This is the house, come on in.
00:08:00This is the house, built on sin.
00:08:04This is the house, nobody will live.
00:08:09This is the house, get what you can.
00:08:13Yeah, yeah.
00:08:13Yeah.
00:08:24How many want to touch this afternoon?
00:08:27Raise your hand if you want God to touch it.
00:08:30I'm going to pray that God will give you a goodbye.
00:08:36The U.S. Department of Agriculture is checking whether state meat and poultry inspectors
00:08:41are good enough to allow the product to go on sale nationally.
00:08:44The USDA is said to hold here.
00:08:45Some of these Manson chicks are really hot.
00:08:48Shit, how are we almost out of gas?
00:08:50Look, now this is squeaky.
00:08:50Right here, now that's a girl you would date.
00:08:52Jerry, how much did you put in?
00:08:54I don't know, two, three bucks?
00:08:56Two, three bucks?
00:08:57I told you to fill the tank.
00:08:58Bill, feel me, am I made of money?
00:08:59Get off.
00:09:00Jesus Christ, Jerry.
00:09:01Oh, don't panic yourself there way too much, caffeine guy.
00:09:05You know, I wouldn't be drinking so much coffee if you did your share of the driving.
00:09:09You know I don't have night vision.
00:09:10Oh, not the same.
00:09:11Seriously, I can't even make out the lines on the road.
00:09:13Fine, Bill, you know what, you want to pull the car over, I'd be more than happy to kill
00:09:15us out here in the middle of nowhere.
00:09:17Look, besides, there's a billboard right there.
00:09:20Captain Spalding's Museum of Monsters and Mad Men.
00:09:22Oh, that sounds great.
00:09:23Fried chicken and gasoline.
00:09:24Next exit, there you go.
00:09:26Problem solved.
00:09:27Now we're going to have to freak out.
00:09:28That's a real big deal, Bill.
00:09:31Dick.
00:09:38All right, I'll pump the gas.
00:09:40Go inside and see if it's worth checking out.
00:09:42Okay, Mr. Cranky.
00:09:48Holy crap, you got to see this place.
00:09:50It's boss.
00:09:51Yeah, how boss?
00:09:52Really fucking boss.
00:09:53Like, wake up the chicks and break out the camera, boss?
00:09:55Hell yeah.
00:10:06Hey, sweetie, come on.
00:10:08Grab Mary and get your stuff and come on inside.
00:10:10Bill and I found a kick-ass place.
00:10:11Come on, move, move.
00:10:19Let's go.
00:10:20Come on, Sleeping Beauty.
00:10:22It's time to go to work.
00:10:35What's in that case over there?
00:10:37Hairless monkey.
00:10:40Did you see the crocodile boy?
00:10:43How'd you like to find that in your pants?
00:10:47Excuse me, sir?
00:10:49Howdy.
00:10:50I love this place.
00:10:52How long have you been running this place?
00:10:54Well, how long's a piece of string?
00:10:58I don't know.
00:11:00Too goddamn long.
00:11:02That's how long.
00:11:03Too goddamn long.
00:11:04That's right.
00:11:05That's right.
00:11:06I hear that.
00:11:06But how long, actually?
00:11:08Oh, shit.
00:11:09I don't know exactly.
00:11:11Um, I took over for my paw right after the Duke nabbed the Oscar.
00:11:16Well, you mean John Wayne.
00:11:17Well, son, how many Dukes do you know about?
00:11:20Greatest American ever lived.
00:11:22Look at that.
00:11:23Circle up the wagon, Spellcrumbs.
00:11:25Whatever you say, cowboy.
00:11:29You're not that much of a Western fan.
00:11:31I like science fiction.
00:11:33Ah, Space Boy.
00:11:36Yeah, I figured as much.
00:11:39Let me ask you something.
00:11:41How come you're asking so many jackass-y questions?
00:11:44Oh, you see, my friends and I, we're driving across the country.
00:11:47We're writing this book, actually, on offbeat roadside attractions.
00:11:50You know, the crazy shit you see when you're driving across the country.
00:11:53I don't drive across country.
00:11:56But if you did.
00:11:58But I don't.
00:12:00Yeah, but just supposing for a second that you did.
00:12:06Hey, you little Dukes, you.
00:12:09I know what your problem is.
00:12:11What's that?
00:12:12Y'all think us folks from the country's real funny-like, don't you?
00:12:16Jerry?
00:12:16Yeah, well, slow up the mule, huh?
00:12:18Slime me some grits.
00:12:20I's got to get me some education.
00:12:22Jerry.
00:12:22You asshole.
00:12:23No, no, no, I'm really very interested.
00:12:26I'm not trying to make fun.
00:12:29Gotcha.
00:12:32You are such a bad guy.
00:12:35Oh, fuck these sights, Allie.
00:12:37Who the hell want to read about all this horse shit anyway?
00:12:40You'd be surprised.
00:12:42Son, look around.
00:12:44Would I be surprised?
00:12:51Oh, finally.
00:12:52Great, great.
00:12:53Come on, we paid for the tickets.
00:12:54Let's go, let's go, let's go.
00:12:54What tickets?
00:12:56This isn't everything.
00:12:57There is actually a murder ride.
00:12:59A murder ride?
00:13:00Yeah.
00:13:00I don't want to go on a murder ride.
00:13:02Yes, you do want to go on a murder ride.
00:13:03No, I don't.
00:13:03Hey, how about if we skip the murder ride?
00:13:06Hey, how about if we go?
00:13:08Anytime this year, people, tour is about to begin.
00:13:11Okay, we'll see you inside the murder ride.
00:13:13We'll be back.
00:13:13Bye.
00:13:14I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.
00:13:14Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, you are about to enter a world of
00:13:21darkness, a world where life and death are meaningless and pain is God.
00:13:28Woo!
00:13:29Hey, fella, let's go.
00:13:31Yeah.
00:13:32Murder ride!
00:13:32Murder ride, sir.
00:13:34I'm sorry, Captain Sparling.
00:13:36Yeah, we're going to have a good time there.
00:13:41On your right, you will see the infamous Albert Fish.
00:13:49Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:13:51Masochist, sadist, child killer, and most importantly, cannibal.
00:13:56It was fish born 1870 and enjoyed spankings with nail-studded paddles and stuffing needles
00:14:04deep into his grind.
00:14:06Yeah, I have a question.
00:14:07How many nails did I do?
00:14:08Hold all questions.
00:14:12No, no, no, no.
00:14:20No!
00:14:23Now, one of our most famous crazies, the psycho Bainsfield's Ed Gein.
00:14:30Murderer?
00:14:31Cannibal.
00:14:33Mr. Geeves take great pleasure in playing with dead bodies of women.
00:14:39Especially the sexual organs.
00:14:54Boy!
00:14:57Boy!
00:15:00Now, one of our local heroes, S. Quentin Quayle, a.k.a. Dr. Satan.
00:15:09Shit!
00:15:12Murderer, torturer, but most of all, master surgeon.
00:15:16Mr. Quayle was an intern at Willows County Mental Hospital.
00:15:21Dictnamed Weeping Willows for the never-ending cries of pain.
00:15:26Through primitive brain surgery, Mr. Quayle believed that he could create a race of super-humans who were mentally ill.
00:15:35The vigilante justice prevailed, and they took his ass out and hung him.
00:15:41And that infamous hanging tree is no more than a stone's throw away from where y'all's ass is now
00:15:48seated.
00:15:50The next day, his body was found to be missing.
00:15:55And until today, no trace of Dr. Satan has ever been discovered.
00:16:04But then, who knows?
00:16:09Maybe he lives next door to you.
00:16:33Yeah, do you think maybe we could go now?
00:16:36Look, I'm gonna go call my dad and I'll be right back.
00:16:39I love you.
00:16:42What do you mean it was all right?
00:16:44I mean, it was cool, but it wasn't that great.
00:16:46Dude, you don't have to play it down in front of your chick.
00:16:49Oh.
00:17:03Don't move a muscle, an artery, or a vein.
00:17:08Hello.
00:17:09Hey, Dad.
00:17:10Ha, ha, ha, Denise.
00:17:12We stopped for gas at this place called Captain Spaulding's.
00:17:16It's somewhere outside of Ruxville, and it turned into this whole big thing.
00:17:20So, um, we're kind of behind schedule.
00:17:23Well, don't be too late.
00:17:25Well, I forgot to tell you that Halloween falls on a school night,
00:17:28so they're trick-or-treating tonight.
00:17:31Your left hand shows your past.
00:17:35Your right hand shows your future.
00:17:42Good evening.
00:17:43I'm Lance Brockwell, and this is the 7 o'clock news.
00:17:46And our top story tonight.
00:17:48Investigators still have no leads in the strange disappearance
00:17:51of the five cheerleaders from Rugsville High School.
00:17:54Cindy Thompson, Karen Murphy, Allison Cole, Valerie Green, and Dawn Baker
00:17:59were last seen four days ago leaving a football game.
00:18:02I know it seems stupid, but I really want to see this tree.
00:18:05Do yourself a favor, son. Just forget about it.
00:18:08Oh, come on. I live for this shit.
00:18:10Okay. All right. I'll draw you a damn map.
00:18:13I still say it's a waste of time.
00:18:15Yeah.
00:18:16All right. You are here. Go straight up this road.
00:18:19Make the first right, first left.
00:18:21Come straight across and down.
00:18:24Can't find it? Tough.
00:18:25Here's your map. Right on.
00:18:27Here's your complimentary chicken.
00:18:29Oh, wow.
00:18:29Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
00:18:32You're gonna get a great write-up for this.
00:18:33Yeah.
00:18:46Here's an idea. Let's just skip it. It's probably nothing anyway.
00:18:49Yeah. I mean, Christ, Jerry. Bill is right. We can't see anything.
00:18:53What's that?
00:18:58What? Should we stop?
00:18:59We can't leave her out here in the rain.
00:19:01Stick her in the front if you want to pick her up so bad.
00:19:07So, uh, where are you headed?
00:19:11I was just going home.
00:19:12Home? Where's that?
00:19:13A couple more miles of the road.
00:19:15So you live around here?
00:19:16Mm-hmm. Yeah.
00:19:17Hey, do you know where this Dr. Satan tree is at?
00:19:19Yeah. You know where that's at. It's right by my house. I can show you.
00:19:23Really? So it is a real thing.
00:19:27So, uh, a tree? Where's that?
00:19:30Wood tree.
00:19:31Okay. This is crazy. She obviously doesn't know anything.
00:19:35Oh, I know. I'll show you where it's at.
00:19:38Whatever you need to do, you do it.
00:19:41There is no wrong.
00:19:43If someone needs to be killed, you kill them.
00:19:47That's the way.
00:19:48No.
00:20:05What the fuck are you doing with that? You need a fucking tire.
00:20:12Oh, poop.
00:20:14Oh, hell.
00:20:17At least we got that spare.
00:20:19But you filled it up like I asked, right?
00:20:21Yeah, yeah.
00:20:24Okay, now, what if I forgot to put it back in the trunk?
00:20:27What would plan B entail?
00:20:29Jesus Christ, Jerry!
00:20:31Well, technically, I did what you said!
00:20:32Oh, for fucking sake, Jerry, what are we gonna do now?
00:20:35I can't rightly say if I know me ladies.
00:20:37Oh, wait, it's not this off!
00:20:40What?
00:20:41Would you turn the radio off, please?
00:20:45God.
00:20:47I could walk to my house from here.
00:20:49What?
00:20:50Yeah, my brother's got a tow truck. He can come get your car.
00:20:53I'll go, it's my...
00:20:54Forget it, I'm going.
00:20:56No, Bill, I...
00:20:56If you guys just stay here, there's no sense in everyone getting drenched.
00:20:59I don't completely agree.
00:21:02Turning to the news, local authorities still have no leads in the mysterious disappearance of the five cheerleaders from Ruggsville.
00:21:08The girls were last seen leaving a cheering competition.
00:21:11It was loud enough to waste a bed.
00:21:13That's an idea.
00:21:14What is?
00:21:14Wouldn't it be dramatic?
00:21:16Supposing the people inside were dead, all stretched out with the lights quietly burning about them.
00:21:22I'm sure it would be very amusing.
00:21:24Why, you ask?
00:21:26Why is not the question.
00:21:28How?
00:21:30Now, that is a question worth examining.
00:21:33How could I, being born of such, uh, conventional stock, arrive a leader of the rebellion?
00:21:43An escapist from a conformist world destined to find happiness only in that which cannot be explained?
00:21:49I've brought you here for a reason.
00:21:52But unfortunately, you and your sentimental minds are doing me no good!
00:21:58My brain is frozen.
00:22:00Locked.
00:22:02I have to break free from this culture of mechanical reproductions and the thick encrustations dying on the surface.
00:22:13Oh, Christ.
00:22:16Fuck it.
00:22:27Oh, God.
00:22:28Oh, God.
00:22:30Oh, God.
00:22:30No, no.
00:22:31Oh.
00:22:35These are all my dolls.
00:22:37I used to like, chop your heads off on their arms and stick them up on the wall.
00:22:41Oh, God.
00:22:42The door is locked.
00:22:43I've got to go around.
00:22:46Wait here.
00:23:06Christ, come on.
00:23:08Don't do that.
00:23:09You scared the shit out of me.
00:23:11Ah, you ain't seen nothing yet.
00:23:15Is your brother ready to go? Oh, yeah, he left what he left
00:23:27Don't worry about it. He's fine. I just don't understand right
00:23:49I still don't hear anything. I swear to god. I heard like some weird turn on the headlights see if
00:23:55something's out there
00:24:06Calm down calm down Jesus ain't Christ it's the fucking tow truck guy
00:24:28So you live alone here, I mean just you you and your brother
00:24:36Somewhere I think go this is upstairs messing around or something
00:24:49You gotta have the marshmallows that's what makes it fun
00:24:54Yeah, I guess
00:24:56You sure do a lot of guessing
00:25:06Wow look at him. He must have been going pretty fast smash that wall
00:25:14You sure are silly for a guy's glasses. I like that. Oh, okay. Hey need those to see. Thank you
00:25:23How do I look
00:25:25Terrific
00:25:26Terrific really
00:25:30Mmm tasty
00:25:33Ain't the only thing tasty
00:26:05in this house
00:26:08Hey
00:26:09Hey great
00:26:09They're back
00:26:11Hey
00:26:12Hey
00:26:13Hey
00:26:17Hey
00:26:19Hey
00:26:23Hey
00:26:24Hey
00:26:28Hey
00:26:29Hey, hey!lei
00:26:32Oh, hi.
00:26:33Oh, my goodness.
00:26:37You really don't have a phone?
00:26:41No.
00:26:45I once had one back in 57.
00:26:48But, um...
00:26:52I don't quite remember. See, there's nobody around here.
00:26:55I feel like jaw-flapping at in a war.
00:26:59Um, say, do you think maybe the guy with the tow truck
00:27:02could drive us to a phone?
00:27:03His name is Rufus. Rufus, Jr.
00:27:06But we, uh,
00:27:08we all call him.
00:27:10Oh, Jay.
00:27:11Makes sense.
00:27:13What do they call you, sweetie?
00:27:17I am Qualsnark of the Crab Nebula.
00:27:23But you humans can call me Jerry.
00:27:29Baby, go on and see how RJ's in with his nice folks' automobile.
00:27:35Meanwhile,
00:27:36why don't you just all make yourselves to home?
00:27:41Oh, what brings you kids way out here?
00:27:44Haven't you got something better to do on Halloween
00:27:46than wander around out in the streets?
00:27:48I thought maybe we'd taken a hoedown.
00:27:53No, he's just joking.
00:27:57Yeah.
00:27:58Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just messing with you.
00:28:00I'm sorry.
00:28:02Shut up, dude.
00:28:04Oh, I get it.
00:28:07Y'all just think you're too good for the simple pleasures of Halloween.
00:28:12No, just a little too old.
00:28:16Oh, really? Well, I hope something changes your mind.
00:28:19Someday.
00:28:22Mama Tiny's home.
00:28:24Well, what about RJ?
00:28:26He was gone before I seen him.
00:28:28Oh.
00:28:28But Tiny saw him and said he was going down to the yard to get a new wheel.
00:28:33Uh-huh.
00:28:33How long is that going to take?
00:28:35Hmm.
00:28:36Probably be back in a couple hours.
00:28:39A couple of hours?
00:28:40Mary.
00:28:41What?
00:28:41Can't Tiny drive us to a phone?
00:28:48Oh, Tiny ain't got no car.
00:28:50He ain't even got a bicycle.
00:28:54Well, even though I know that you think it is childish,
00:28:59tonight is Halloween Eve.
00:29:02And to us, it is spatial.
00:29:07So, you are all invited to dinner.
00:29:17So, Christ, you don't expect us to wear these things.
00:29:20Whatever it is, just do it.
00:29:22The more we play along, the faster we get the hell out of here.
00:29:24Now is not the time to make waves.
00:29:26Jerry.
00:29:31Okay.
00:29:48You're not a good boy.
00:29:48I'm a good boy.
00:29:49I'm a good boy.
00:29:50I'm a good boy.
00:29:54He's making me some of them at the door without like her.
00:29:54I'm a good boy.
00:29:56Hi.
00:29:56Hi.
00:29:57Hi.
00:29:58How are you?
00:29:58Who are you?
00:29:58And I'm a good boy.
00:29:58Who am I?
00:29:59Who am I?
00:29:59How are you?
00:29:59Who are you?
00:29:59Let's go.
00:30:00Let's go.
00:30:30He-he can't hear so much.
00:30:34That poor baby.
00:30:37It's his daddy's fault.
00:30:39Well, I mean, Earl wasn't a bad man.
00:30:42He never hit me or nothing like that.
00:30:44One day, he just up and went devil on us all.
00:30:48What happened?
00:30:49Well, he tried to burn down the house.
00:30:53He said it was possessed by the spirits.
00:30:55And Tiny was sleeping in the basement room with the five stars.
00:31:02But I don't think Earl ever meant to harm us.
00:31:06But Tiny was badly burnt.
00:31:08His ears were destroyed.
00:31:09And most of his skin.
00:31:12Is that why he wears a mask?
00:31:14Yeah.
00:31:16My baby boy gets shy around new people.
00:31:20But he'll warm up to you.
00:31:22Especially the girls.
00:31:27Oh, he's a real lady killer.
00:31:33All the kids want us to Sunday.
00:31:35All the kids want Sunday day.
00:31:41You're going to miss a good show tonight.
00:31:44That's your tough luck.
00:31:46I thought you kids were all about team spirit.
00:31:49I mean, you ain't done fuck on a cheer me up since you got here.
00:31:53Give me a B.
00:31:54Give me an A.
00:31:55Give me a B.
00:31:56Give me a Y.
00:31:57What's that spell?
00:31:59What's that spell?
00:32:01What's that spell?
00:32:02Oh!
00:32:04Baby?
00:32:05You're damn right.
00:32:07Doop-de-doo.
00:32:08Doop-de-doo-de-doo.
00:32:10Doop-de-doo-de-doo.
00:32:11Doop-de-doo-de-doo.
00:32:12Doop-de-doo.
00:32:22Doop-de-doo.
00:32:27Okay now.
00:32:27Everybody put on your masks.
00:32:29We can't very well eat our desserts
00:32:31with our everyday faces exposed, can't we?
00:32:37Doop's kid, put it on!
00:32:41Look, she ain't gonna let any of us text dessert
00:32:43unless you're wearing this damn thing!
00:32:49Um, this is Firefly.
00:32:53Do you know anything about the legend of Dr. Satan?
00:32:55Oh, here we go.
00:32:56Shut up.
00:33:02Well, I've got much to gossip from this and that,
00:33:04but, um, I have a chance to...
00:33:06I know all about what you want to know all about.
00:33:09Oh, Liz.
00:33:11I can't believe you decided to come down and join us.
00:33:22Oh, and you are miserable.
00:33:26Oh, my goodness.
00:33:28Oh, my goodness.
00:33:30Oh, my goodness.
00:33:30Oh, my goodness.
00:33:31Oh, my God.
00:33:32Oh, my goodness.
00:33:33You're such a special guy for me.
00:33:38Now, I don't know
00:33:41who told you you're fairy-feebles about Dr. Satan.
00:33:45We heard it from, uh, Captain Spaulding up the road at him.
00:33:48That old bitch-hog don't know shit.
00:33:51How he tells his cute little tattletales, sell his junk.
00:33:54He don't sell no Yankee boys, no truth.
00:33:57Yeah, but, I mean, something happened, right?
00:33:58I mean, it had to be based on some real incident.
00:34:00What are you, Jimmy Olsen, cub reporter for the Daily Asshole?
00:34:04Grandpa, watch your language.
00:34:06I don't think you really need to know.
00:34:08Better you leave here with your head still full of kitty cats and puppy dogs.
00:34:13Well, I really would like to know.
00:34:15Hey, he'd really like to know.
00:34:18Enlighten him!
00:34:20Well, I bet you'd stick your head in the fire if I told you you could see hell.
00:34:24Meanwhile, you're too stupid to realize you got a demon sticking out your ass,
00:34:28singing, holy miss moly, got me a loud one.
00:34:36Can we change the subject, please?
00:34:40There's over...
00:34:43Ladies and germs,
00:34:46it's showtime!
00:35:00Tell me a little story.
00:35:01Eat your wives, pussy!
00:35:05I mean, dare you, bitch!
00:35:09It starts licking and chomping on her pussy,
00:35:11and she's screaming and yelling and she just...
00:35:14Now the battle action home's allowed to crush my balls!
00:35:18Mom, you keep quiet!
00:35:23You're gonna wake up grandma!
00:35:30Come on, over!
00:35:32Hey, boys, they'll be moving!
00:35:34They'll be moving!
00:35:35We've got something real special for you men out there!
00:35:38Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:35:51I'm not one of the greedy kind.
00:35:56All of my ones are simple.
00:36:00I know what's on my mind.
00:36:05I'm not resting until I find
00:36:10What would make your eyes listen with joy.
00:36:16Now listen, big boy.
00:36:22I wanna be loved by you, just you, nobody else but you.
00:36:30I wanna be loved by you, just you, nobody else but you.
00:36:33I wanna be loved by you, alone, who's better.
00:36:38I wanna be loved by you, just you, nobody else but you.
00:36:46I wanna be loved by you, alone, above my goodness, fire, to anything higher.
00:36:59Get off him!
00:37:00I said get the fuck off him, you stupid fucking whore!
00:37:05Fucking slut!
00:37:06You shouldn't have done that.
00:37:07Oh, really? Are you gonna do something about it?
00:37:09Do something, motherfucker.
00:37:10Yeah? Come on!
00:37:11Fucking cut your tits off and shove them down your throat!
00:37:14Baby, stop!
00:37:15Oh, come on, this bitch has got it coming!
00:37:17No, I told you, remember?
00:37:19The car is done.
00:37:21Thank God.
00:37:23I suggest that you kids leave.
00:37:25We're gone.
00:37:26Fuck that.
00:37:29Fuck you.
00:37:32I love you, Mama.
00:37:34Hello.
00:37:42Lock those fucking doors!
00:37:44Hurry up!
00:37:44Jesus Christ, you think she was really gonna cut you?
00:37:46Of course she was gonna cut me, she's a fucking nut!
00:37:51I knew she was crazy for the second we fucking picked her up!
00:37:54Okay.
00:37:56That's it.
00:37:57Let's get out of this fucking nut house.
00:37:59Let's get out of this fucking nut house!
00:38:00No!
00:38:02No!
00:38:03No!
00:38:04No!
00:38:05No!
00:38:05No!
00:38:05No!
00:38:07No!
00:38:07Shit, what are you doing?
00:38:12Why are you stopping?
00:38:13I gotta open the gate!
00:38:15No!
00:38:15No!
00:38:15No!
00:38:24We've got you.
00:38:25No.
00:38:26Rochester.
00:38:28Go.
00:38:30No!
00:38:31No!
00:38:35No!
00:38:45Yeah!
00:38:48Ah!
00:38:52Oh, shit!
00:38:54Oh, my God!
00:38:55Oh, my God!
00:38:58Oh, my God!
00:39:00Oh, my God!
00:39:02Oh, my God!
00:39:04Oh, shit!
00:39:05Get out of the car!
00:39:06Open the door!
00:39:07No!
00:39:08Come on, go!
00:39:08Shut the fucking door!
00:39:09Oh, no!
00:39:10Oh, shit!
00:39:22Fuck.
00:39:31Get with the fuck!
00:39:34No, my God!
00:39:36Let's go!
00:39:37Oh, my God!
00:39:38Help!
00:39:39No!
00:39:40No!
00:39:41No!
00:39:42Oh, my God!
00:39:44Oh, my God!
00:39:45Oh, my God!
00:39:46Oh, my God!
00:39:49Help me! Help me!
00:39:54Help me!
00:40:25Help me!
00:40:26From the Rock and Rolls, good morning. This is Led Zeppelin.
00:40:28Hope you had a good idea.
00:40:29It was kind of wild around the radio station today.
00:40:32It being a holiday, it's kind of like a ghost town around here.
00:40:36It's kind of nice, though. It's kind of kicked back.
00:40:39Maybe time to get away with stuff.
00:40:49Houston.
00:40:50Donald Wilkes.
00:40:54Don Willis, how the hell are you?
00:40:56Listen, Frank, I'm a little worried about Denise.
00:40:58She called me last night from the road near Ruggsville,
00:41:01a place called Spalding's.
00:41:04Yeah, I know the joint.
00:41:06She said she'd be here about 11, but she never showed up.
00:41:10Well, I'll run a check on up there by Spalding's
00:41:13and see if there's any accidents or road closings.
00:41:16It was raining like a son of a bitch here last night.
00:41:19They're probably just stuck in the mud someplace.
00:41:42Shut your mouth!
00:41:45I said shut your fucking mouth!
00:41:52Listen, you Malibu middle-class Barbie piece of shit.
00:41:56I'm trying to work here.
00:41:58Work?
00:41:58You ever work?
00:42:00Yeah, I'll bet you have.
00:42:02Scooping ice cream to your shit-heeled friends on summer break.
00:42:05Well, I ain't talking about no goddamn white socks with Mickey Mouse on one side and Donald Duck on the
00:42:11other.
00:42:12I ain't reading no funny books, Mama.
00:42:14Our bodies come and go, but this blood is forever.
00:42:21Now, I'm gonna remove your gang.
00:42:23But if you make so much as a fucking peep, I'm gonna cut you like a pig and make you
00:42:29eat your own fucking intestines.
00:42:42Why are you doing this to me?
00:42:46Why are you doing this?
00:42:47Doing what?
00:42:49Messy up your day?
00:42:51Where's Bill?
00:42:53Where's Bill?
00:42:55Bill?
00:42:56It's you.
00:42:57Bill?
00:42:58He's a good guy.
00:43:00Oh, he's been a great help to me.
00:43:03A real blessing.
00:43:04I mean, I couldn't have asked for a better specimen.
00:43:09You don't know what kind of dry spell I've had here.
00:43:14Total block!
00:43:15Total block!
00:43:17But Bill?
00:43:20He's okay.
00:43:23Where is he?
00:43:39Where is he?
00:43:42Where is he?
00:43:51He's a mother.
00:43:52Is he?
00:43:58He's늉 mackin'.
00:43:58Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:44:00연-
00:44:01He's the best out by the way.
00:44:04Is he and school bombshell.
00:44:09I don't care who gets there.
00:44:11There's all kinds of different spectrum.
00:44:12I just don't care who doesn't realize it.
00:44:12I'm עto unt utilise things.
00:44:13Back out, she's a brick house.
00:44:18Well, together, everybody knows this home's where we go.
00:44:23She knows she's got everything that a woman eats.
00:44:29Where is he? Can I see him? Can I see him?
00:44:33Let's go see.
00:44:40Behold, Fish Boy!
00:44:43Oh, my God. Oh, my God, no, no, no, this can't be real, this can't be real, this can't be
00:44:49real, this can't be real, this can't be real.
00:44:52Oh, it's real. Real as I want it to be, Mama.
00:45:07Fuck you, you fucking freak!
00:45:16Who's gonna drive your big blue eyes day after day?
00:45:25Who's gonna jump when you say frog?
00:45:29Who's gonna bow and say...
00:45:31Well, let's see if the nut that runs this place can help us.
00:45:37Take a look at all this crap.
00:45:39Red flag anybody running a joint like this.
00:45:44Sweet baby Jesus.
00:45:47Where's jerking off on that bell out there?
00:45:49Better be gone when I come out.
00:45:50I'm gonna rip your nuts off.
00:45:55Officers, officers, what could I do for you?
00:45:57I ain't fired up the birds yet if that's what you've been ring-a-ding-ding about.
00:46:01I need you to answer some questions about some missing kids.
00:46:04Oh, I don't know nothing about nothing.
00:46:06You see, I'm the kind of guy who just minds his own business, if you get what I'm saying.
00:46:10You seen this girl?
00:46:11Say, in the last 24 hours?
00:46:15Yeah, yeah, cute kid.
00:46:18Ain't my type, though.
00:46:20You know, I like them with a little more meat on them.
00:46:22The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the push-in.
00:46:27Hey, look, clown ass, just answer the damn question.
00:46:31We ain't interested in your love life, all right?
00:46:33Cut the crap spalling and just give with the facts.
00:46:36Huh?
00:46:37What did you see?
00:46:38Who was she with?
00:46:40Where was she going?
00:46:41I don't know.
00:46:42She was with some stupid kids.
00:46:43They was nosing around asking a bunch of stupid questions.
00:46:47Questions about what?
00:46:48I don't know.
00:46:49This and that.
00:46:50Mostly a bunch of tired Dr. Satan bullshit.
00:46:54They caught a gander at the display in the back,
00:46:57and they figured they was going to run out and solve the great Deadwood mystery.
00:47:00And how'd they get that idea?
00:47:02I wrote them a map.
00:47:04Well, out to the old farm row.
00:47:07You know, I figured, what the hell, wouldn't do no harm.
00:47:09Besides, it's good for my tourist trade.
00:47:13You can ship ten bricks for all I care.
00:47:16What else?
00:47:19Nothing.
00:47:21Stupid-ass kids probably got themselves turning around ass backwards
00:47:25and got themselves lost.
00:47:27Is that all?
00:47:28And I want you to think real hard.
00:47:36Well, I don't rightly know.
00:47:38See, there wasn't here long enough for me to get up close and personal with them
00:47:42like I do most of the assholes that come wandering in here.
00:47:46Yeah, how about you wreck them same damn directions out for me, then?
00:47:50All right, all right.
00:47:51Don't get all true grit on my ass.
00:47:53You can knock yourself silly for all I care.
00:47:55Enough talk.
00:47:57Right.
00:48:01I don't know where that skunk ape's sweet.
00:48:03All I know is they had impure relations with my wife.
00:48:09That's true.
00:48:10He performed lurid acts upon me and my person.
00:48:13Hold up the picture.
00:48:15I'm going to kill that skunk ape.
00:48:17Oh, my God.
00:48:19Oh, my God.
00:48:25Oh, my God.
00:48:28Oh, my God.
00:48:44No, no, no, no, no.
00:49:16I don't know.
00:49:44I don't know.
00:50:14Help me.
00:50:15Please, God.
00:50:17Please.
00:50:28I'm just gonna go now.
00:50:30I'm just gonna go home.
00:50:34I'm just gonna go home now.
00:50:37I'm just gonna go home now.
00:50:43I'm just gonna go now.
00:50:47I'm just going home now.
00:50:51Where the fuck are you?
00:50:52No, no, no, no.
00:50:56No, no, no.
00:50:59No.
00:51:00No.
00:51:01Pay time is over.
00:51:23Let's go, Robert.
00:51:27Matches.
00:51:29Call it in.
00:51:31I think we found him.
00:51:33Yeah.
00:51:47Hey, poopy pants! What's new?
00:51:50Where the fuck is Bill? Where's Denise? You can't keep us here!
00:51:52Shut up!
00:51:55Hey, you wanna play a guessing game?
00:52:00Guess what number I'm thinking of.
00:52:03Eat shit and die.
00:52:08No, wait, please! Come on, stop it! What do you want? What do you want from me? What do you
00:52:11want from us?
00:52:12Please be quiet! I don't wanna slip!
00:52:18Okay, one more. You get this right, I'll let you go. If you get it wrong, you are fucked!
00:52:26Okay, who's my favorite movie star?
00:52:30I don't know.
00:52:32Marilyn Monroe.
00:52:34Hmm.
00:52:36No, Betty Davis. Sorry, you lose!
00:52:40Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
00:52:45Jesus, somebody sure had themselves a field day beating the shit out of this thing, didn't they?
00:52:50Yep.
00:52:52No mercy shown here.
00:52:55You didn't find any bodies, did you?
00:52:57Not yet.
00:52:59Holy Christ.
00:53:01What could these kids have possibly done to bring this much hell down on them?
00:53:05Hey, I found something!
00:53:06What's that?
00:53:07Keys.
00:53:08Well, don't just stand there like some prize dog dick. Open the trunk!
00:53:11Yes, sir.
00:53:12Pass the mirror.
00:53:18Oh, god damn.
00:53:20Did you find something, Georgie?
00:53:22Yeah.
00:53:23Did we find out something?
00:53:24People come, people go.
00:53:27But how many ever really stop to take a look at the underbelly of the beasts?
00:53:32I make them stop.
00:53:33And I make them look.
00:53:35Hope you like what you see.
00:53:37Hope you like what you see!
00:53:40Uh, just hold it a minute, Grandpa.
00:53:44At a time like this, you're taking pictures!
00:53:47I just couldn't help it.
00:53:49You look so natural sitting in that box.
00:53:51Put me behind the wheel of that bitch. I'll show you driving!
00:53:56You useless fuck. You couldn't even get your big ass in that seat.
00:54:01Oh, great.
00:54:03Don't start with me, Hugo!
00:54:11Hey, get off the damn cars. Ain't your living room.
00:54:15Goddamn grease monkey.
00:54:19You sure this guy's supposed to ride with us? In this car?
00:54:22Mm-hmm.
00:54:26This doesn't seem right to me.
00:54:28Well, it ain't up to us.
00:54:29Chief said pick him up and take him with us.
00:54:32That guy's the next cop. Figures he can be of some help.
00:54:34I just hope he doesn't get in my ways, all I'm saying.
00:54:44This must be him.
00:54:49Mr. Willis?
00:54:50Yes, sir.
00:54:51I'm Wydell. This here's Nash.
00:54:53How you doing, sir?
00:54:54Donald Willis.
00:54:56Any leads?
00:54:57Well, we were on our way out to check on a couple of farms out on the edge of town.
00:55:01It's about our only lead up to this point.
00:55:03What about this body you found?
00:55:05You know about that?
00:55:07Local girl. Karen Murphy.
00:55:10One cheerleaders went missing last week.
00:55:12And that's it?
00:55:13Well, we know the kids were on their way out to a place the locals called Deadwood.
00:55:17Yeah, they wanted to play Nancy Drew with this local legend that people called Dr. Satan.
00:55:22This is insane.
00:55:23Don't you worry about it.
00:55:24We'll find her, all right?
00:55:29My name is Lewis Gora.
00:55:32And I know this man.
00:55:34But I know the truth.
00:55:36You don't have to go to hell.
00:55:38You're in hell.
00:55:39This is hell.
00:55:41This is hell.
00:55:42This is hell.
00:55:48It's very out there.
00:55:52It's evil.
00:55:54Because I'm heart.
00:56:02Yeah, that's bad dude.
00:56:03It va miyinkus.
00:56:05This shows me him too hard.
00:56:06Something other time.
00:56:06It's the best that you have to go.
00:56:06Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:56:21I'm going to see if anybody's home, you and Mr. Willis.
00:56:25Check around, see if you see anything.
00:56:27Uh-huh. Come with me.
00:56:37I ain't fucked up families.
00:56:40Just a dip.
00:56:42Oh, yes. Come quick. There's cops out there.
00:56:45What? Damn. I'm in it.
00:56:47Hey, don't worry about it.
00:56:49I don't know. I only saw one.
00:56:51Yeah, fucking pigs always travel in packs.
00:56:53Take this.
00:56:54What should I do?
00:56:55Go downstairs and play nice.
00:56:59I'll go around back and take control like I always fucking do.
00:57:06Goddamn.
00:57:08These pack rats throw anything away?
00:57:11I don't think so.
00:57:12Hold that.
00:57:14Hello?
00:57:17Hello?
00:57:23You think he's some bitch who'd have a yard sale, don't you?
00:57:26Yeah.
00:57:29Hello?
00:57:35Calm down, Bernie.
00:57:37I thought he was starting with my bear shit.
00:57:38He's only a dog.
00:57:39I was bit by a Cocker Spaniel when I was eight years old.
00:57:44Well, hello, officer.
00:57:45Good afternoon, ma'am.
00:57:46I'm Lieutenant Wydell.
00:57:48I'd like to ask you a few questions.
00:57:49What the heck?
00:57:50I'll just tell you anything you want to know.
00:57:53Appreciate the cooperation, ma'am.
00:57:55I'm looking for a missing girl.
00:57:56I'm serious.
00:57:57This is a big Cocker Spaniel, big teen.
00:57:59Because my ex-girlfriend almost bit off my pinky toe.
00:58:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:04Shh, shh, shh.
00:58:05You hear that?
00:58:06Yeah.
00:58:07Yeah, I hear it.
00:58:08Where do you think he's coming from?
00:58:10Oh, this way.
00:58:12All right, hold on.
00:58:13Hold on one second here.
00:58:14Hold on.
00:58:15Hey, hey!
00:58:17Sheriff's department, open up.
00:58:18Hey!
00:58:18No, I ain't seen her.
00:58:19Sorry.
00:58:20Ma'am, if I could just come in for a minute,
00:58:24have some other pictures I'd like you to look at.
00:58:26Might stir something up.
00:58:29No.
00:58:30I don't think so.
00:58:31Ma'am, it'll only take a minute.
00:58:37Oh, all right.
00:58:41I guess I can trust you.
00:58:44Being a man of the law and all.
00:58:46Yes, ma'am.
00:58:49Thank you, ma'am.
00:59:05I remember you
00:59:08You're the one
00:59:10Who made my dreams come true
00:59:13A few
00:59:14Kisses ago
00:59:18Oh, this one looks familiar now
00:59:20See, on the TV
00:59:22No, ma'am, I don't believe he is
00:59:24You're the one
00:59:25Who said I'd love you too
00:59:28Excuse me, ma'am
00:59:29Waddell over
00:59:31Waddell over
00:59:45Waddell over
00:59:46Out of the blue
00:59:48Out of the blue
00:59:49When my life is through
00:59:54And the angels ask me
00:59:57To recall
00:59:59The thrill of them all
01:00:04Then I will tell them
01:00:07I remember you
01:00:13I remember you
01:00:16I remember you
01:00:16I remember you
01:00:16I remember you
01:00:17I remember you
01:00:18I remember you
01:00:18I remember you
01:00:20I remember you
01:00:22I remember you
01:00:28I remember you
01:00:32And the angels ask me to recall the thrill of them all, then I will tell them I remember, tell
01:00:49them I remember, tell them I remember you.
01:01:31To be continued...
01:01:57To be continued...
01:02:56To be continued...
01:03:00To be continued...
01:03:32To be continued...
01:04:03I'm the one who brings the Christmas candy.
01:04:07Now tell me.
01:04:09Who's your daddy?
01:04:15I'm the one who brings the devil's brandy.
01:04:17Who's your daddy?
01:04:23I'm the one who beats you when you're fat.
01:04:26Who's your daddy?
01:04:28Who's your daddy?
01:04:42Who's your daddy?
01:04:44Who's your daddy?
01:04:52Who's your daddy?
01:04:55Who's your daddy?
01:04:57Who's your daddy?
01:04:58Who's your daddy?
01:04:59Well, I say, my little darlings.
01:05:03Maybe it just ain't a good idea to be prancing around where you don't belong.
01:05:07And you, the great rusher of fools.
01:05:11What was it you were after?
01:05:13Come on, speak to me, boy.
01:05:15Oh, I remember now.
01:05:17Dr. Satan.
01:05:18God damn it, everybody got to know about Dr. Satan.
01:05:21You know what I'm gonna do, boy?
01:05:22I'm gonna do you a favor.
01:05:23I'm gonna let you meet the old bastard.
01:05:28It's all true.
01:05:30The Boogeyman is real.
01:05:32And you found him.
01:05:34And you found him.
01:05:35And you found him.
01:06:06And you called him.
01:06:07Boom.tinicos.
01:06:23Damn it.
01:06:23The Hierbasids.
01:06:38Hey, happy boy, step your ass up here.
01:06:42Take his gag out.
01:06:44It's more fun with the screaming.
01:06:45Oh, I like that too, that screaming.
01:06:48It's so much work, son, that way.
01:06:53Please don't kill us, please don't kill us.
01:06:55Please don't kill us.
01:06:57Please don't kill us.
01:06:58Shut your mouth and get your shit in the box.
01:07:03Get in now.
01:07:05Wait, wait, wait, whoo!
01:07:07I want to say goodbye.
01:07:19Goodbye, sweetie.
01:07:21We could have been great.
01:07:23Look, look, look.
01:07:24Just let us go.
01:07:25I swear to God, we won't tell anyone.
01:07:26I swear.
01:07:27Oh, honey, now you know I can't do that.
01:07:30No!
01:07:31I swear to God.
01:07:33I swear to God.
01:07:33I swear to God.
01:07:34I'm just having a fucking hoot.
01:07:36You're a fucking asshole for her.
01:07:38All right, come on, get the box.
01:07:39Thank God.
01:07:41Now, where does she think she's gonna run to?
01:07:44What, she gonna run all the way home?
01:07:46No!
01:07:47Let me get her.
01:07:47Oh, all right, go get her.
01:07:50No!
01:07:52Hunt humans?
01:07:53Ain't nothing but nothing.
01:07:56They all run like scary little rabbits.
01:08:01Run, rabbit, run.
01:08:04Run, rabbit!
01:08:06Run, rabbit!
01:08:07Run, rabbit!
01:08:09Run, rabbit!
01:08:11Run, rabbit!
01:08:11Run!
01:08:13Run, rabbit!
01:08:14Run, rabbit!
01:08:17Good time.
01:08:20The Morris was a woman who lived with her daughter in the cabbage garden.
01:08:25A long team would rather eat up all the cabbages.
01:08:29The woman said, go into the garden and drive out the rabbits.
01:08:32Marry!
01:08:34Marry!
01:08:38Marry!
01:08:40Marry!
01:08:43Marry!
01:08:45Mom!
01:08:46Come on!
01:08:47Come on!
01:08:49Come on!
01:08:50Come on!
01:08:52Come on!
01:09:17Shoo, shoo, said the maiden.
01:09:24Come, maiden, said the rabbit.
01:09:27Sit on my tail and go with me to my rabbit hut.
01:09:42Uh-uh.
01:09:43No hanky-panky.
01:09:44Rufus, put the lid on.
01:09:47No!
01:09:50No!
01:09:57No!
01:10:01No!
01:10:04No!
01:10:04No!
01:10:12No, no, no!
01:10:18No!
01:10:20No!
01:10:21No!
01:10:22No!
01:10:32No!
01:10:41Nooo!
01:10:46Nooo!
01:10:47Nooo!
01:10:49Nooo!
01:11:03...
01:11:14...
01:11:15...
01:11:27Nooo!
01:11:34Jerry wake up wake up wake up
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