- 6 hours ago
Jingle All the Way 2 (2014) [Full Movie] [Official Release]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:38It's cold out, baby, put a jacket on for the chill
00:43I got a bright red sleigh, babe, jingle bells, what a thrill
00:49I'm gonna take it downtown, we got Christmas time to kill
00:54It's a downtown Christmas, baby, take a ride with me
01:00It's a downtown Christmas, baby, take a ride with me
01:05On a cold Christmas night downtown is where I wanna be
01:10You know uptown, baby, they got no lights to see
01:15Head in southbound, baby, they got no
01:19Dad? Hey, Dad! Time to wake up!
01:26Dad!
01:27Where's the buttons on that snooze alarm?
01:32I'm not the snooze alarm
01:35Are you excited? It's time to go ice fishing
01:38I am excited, I'm gonna sleep on it and figure out what we're gonna do with it
01:46Remember, the early bird gets the worm
01:49And I think we know what happens to that worm
01:52It gets gobbled up and eaten
01:56Don't make me!
01:58All right, then
02:02All right, now you've done it
02:04You know what you just did?
02:06You just awakened a giant, abominable yeti
02:09And you know what he feeds on?
02:12Cookies?
02:12No
02:13No
02:14He feeds on tickles!
02:17He need a tickle!
02:19Come on, let's go fishing!
02:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
02:34I think lightning multi-multry is the thing to say
02:39All the prideful white Christmas day
02:42Potter!
02:43That's the island greeting that we're sending you
02:47From the land where palm trees sway
02:52You know that Christmas will be green and bright
02:56The sun will shine the day and all the stars at night
03:01Ma-ka-ka-ka-ka is the wildest way
03:05To say Merry Christmas to you
03:08Take it, girls!
03:10Merry Christmas to you
03:14Merry Christmas to you
03:19That's the island greeting that we send to you
03:23From the land where palm trees sway
03:27Dad, I wish you could have been at Mommy's wedding
03:30You should have seen Mom's engagement ring
03:33The diamond was huge
03:35And during the wedding, I got to hand Mom her a ring
03:39And you know what, you've been telling me all week
03:42That's awesome
03:43If your mom is happy, I'm super happy
03:46Yeah, she's super happy
03:48And Victor's awesome, don't you think?
03:53Yeah, he's awesome
03:54Hey, you wanna know what else is awesome?
03:56Yeah
03:56Watch this, what am I?
04:01A walrus with tooth decay?
04:04Walrus with tooth decay
04:05Look funny, hey, you want a cheese diddle?
04:08For breakfast?
04:10No, not for breakfast, you don't eat them for breakfast
04:12You ate a Twinkie for breakfast
04:17What's wrong?
04:17What's wrong?
04:18It's a Twinkie
04:21Hey Dad, how come you and Mom didn't stay married?
04:26Well, sweetie, I still love your Mom and everything
04:31We're good friends
04:32I know
04:33You know, she likes classical music and petite fours
04:36And I like ice fishing and Twinkies
04:38And plus she's real organized and ambitious and driven
04:42And well, I'm me
04:46I like ice fishing and Twinkies
04:49And classical music and petite fours
04:55I know
04:56And that's why you're my little girl
04:59I think I got one
05:00No way
05:01Are you a kid?
05:02I haven't caught anything here in six years
05:04Look, there it is!
05:05Oh!
05:15Well, here we are
05:16Back to this place
05:18Wow!
05:19I can't believe I'm going to live here
05:21It's like a palace
05:23Hey!
05:24I guess that makes me a princess
05:26Yeah, well
05:28Looks like that makes me the troll
05:33Hurry, Victor!
05:34They're here!
05:35Hey!
05:36There she is!
05:37Mommy, welcome home!
05:38I miss you!
05:39Look at you!
05:40You look bigger!
05:41Mommy, Victor!
05:42What's up, Tiger?
05:43Hi, Victor!
05:46Hey, buddy!
05:47Well, hey, welcome home!
05:50Hi, Larry!
05:51Hey!
05:52So, did you two have a good time together?
05:54Of course we did!
05:55Look at her!
05:55She's little princess!
05:56We had fun, didn't we?
05:57We had tons of fun!
05:58We went skating!
06:00We went sledding!
06:01We played hockey!
06:03And today, we went ice fishing!
06:05Ice fishing!
06:07How outdoorsy!
06:08Yeah!
06:08And I caught a fish!
06:09Show him, Daddy!
06:11She did like this trout!
06:12Look at that!
06:13Look how fat that is!
06:14That's a big one!
06:15Might even be pregnant!
06:16How was the honeymoon?
06:17Oh, fantastic!
06:19A week in St. Croix
06:21Another sailing around the islands
06:24Victor has his own boat
06:25Wow!
06:27So, I guess it was your second best honeymoon!
06:29I think you forget!
06:31Ours!
06:31Huh?
06:32Sizzler in a movie!
06:33Huh?
06:34That was some good steak!
06:36Yeah!
06:36That's big time!
06:37Well, I'm not gonna brag about it!
06:39Congratulations, Victor!
06:41Thank you!
06:41Now, when she refers to her idiot husband,
06:44she'll be talking about you!
06:45Instead of me!
06:47Larry!
06:49Well, you're just getting nowhere on your decorations!
06:51A little late, isn't it?
06:52Ah, well, Trish told me how much Noel loves Christmas!
06:55I love it!
06:58Oh, he may have gone a little overboard!
07:00No!
07:03So?
07:04What do you think?
07:05Wow!
07:07So pretty!
07:09Anything for you, Sugar Plum!
07:11It's our first Christmas together,
07:12I wanted it to be a memorable one!
07:15Mmm!
07:16Sugar cookies!
07:17Oh, after you wash your hands!
07:19Mmm!
07:20Yeah, you gotta get that fish smell off of there!
07:23Larry, how about a cup of coffee?
07:24Hey, I could go for that!
07:26Love it!
07:26Love coffee!
07:27Ah, Victor, have a...
07:28Please!
07:29Thank you!
07:37So, how's the business?
07:39Sorry!
07:39You go first!
07:40No, you do it!
07:40Hey, how's the trucking business?
07:42Uh, part-time, right?
07:44Well, yeah, it's part-time, but see, that's how I like it!
07:47Part-time is good!
07:49That gives me more time to spend with my daughter!
07:56So, how's the, uh, cardboard box business treating you?
08:00Great!
08:01Baxter Box Company is up, uh, 20% this year!
08:04Online sales are booming!
08:05I mean, all those packages have to be shipped somewhere, right?
08:11What do you mean?
08:11My grandfather would be proud!
08:13Yep!
08:13I built Baxter Box into an empire!
08:17What's this little deal right here?
08:19Look at that little box!
08:20What, do you add water and it gets bigger?
08:21Yeah!
08:23It's a little something I had made for the holidays to give the workers at the company!
08:26Hm!
08:27You know what, take it!
08:28It's my gift to you!
08:30Really?
08:30Yeah!
08:33It's, uh, it's for decoration.
08:35You can display it on your desk!
08:37Well, I don't got a desk!
08:47Coffee's ready!
08:48Oh, yes!
08:49Hey, yeah!
08:49Boy, I'll tell you what, I could go for a steaming cup of Joe Pelt right now!
08:53She goes back to school January 5th, so for the rest of Noelle's vacation we'll just alternate days, as always,
08:59with me and Victor getting Christmas Eve this year and you getting Christmas Day!
09:04Yeah, that sounds good!
09:05I'm in!
09:06That's, wait, he, he gets Christmas Day?
09:08Yeah!
09:08Well, we switch off every year!
09:11Alternate!
09:11This year it's, it's Larry's turn!
09:13I, I understand that!
09:14It's just, you know, it's, it's our first Christmas as a family!
09:17I just thought we'd be together!
09:19First one!
09:20Ever!
09:20Victor!
09:21I get it one year, you get the next year!
09:23That's how it operates!
09:25Of course!
09:25I just, I just, it's Christmas Day!
09:27You know, Christmas morning, the presents under the tree, opening gifts, the Christmas dinner!
09:33With all the trimmings!
09:35I got trimmings!
09:36I make delicious trimmings!
09:38Why can't I just do both?
09:40I spend half a Christmas with Dad, and then go to Mom Bakters!
09:46That's a great idea!
09:49Come on, Dad!
09:51Please, Dad!
09:52Please!
09:56All right, we'll think of something!
09:58All right, we'll figure it out!
10:00Yay!
10:00I did two Christmases!
10:09Sorry, Larry!
10:10Victor's just so excited about being a stepdad, he wants to spend as much time as possible with Noel!
10:15Well, what's done is done!
10:19I'll tell you what, we'll go ahead and have Christmas number one at my house, and then I'll bring her
10:24over here, and you guys can have Christmas number two!
10:26Thanks, Larry!
10:29I'll talk to Victor about how to handle these things in the future!
10:32All right!
10:33Dad, wait!
10:34Victor's gonna put on the Christmas lights!
10:36Okay, you ready?
10:37Come on!
10:37Honey, let's go!
10:38Here we go, ready?
10:39One, two, three!
10:44Wow!
10:46Wow!
10:47Hi, Victor!
10:49That's amazing!
10:50Dad, have you ever seen something so beautiful?
10:54Yeah, it's something, all right!
10:55It is something, that's for sure!
10:58This is going to be the best Christmas ever!
11:05See y'all later!
11:07Good night, Daddy!
11:08Good night, darling!
11:10Hey, Ben Franklin!
11:11You got a bulb out!
11:12Ha ha!
11:13Ha!
11:15It's all right, honey!
11:17You did good!
11:18Can't wait for Christmas!
11:21And the lights on a Christmas tree!
11:26No way!
11:27He actually called her my little sugar plug!
11:30Yeah!
11:30I was standing right there!
11:32Wow!
11:33Even I know that's a violation of Daddy's stepdaddy protocol!
11:37You gonna kick his butt like you did Kip Kornhausen?
11:41Kip Kornhausen?
11:41Oh, man!
11:43That was in third grade!
11:44No, I'm not gonna kick his butt!
11:46I'm gonna teach him a lesson, though!
11:48Ha ha!
11:49When it comes to Christmas spirit, ha ha!
11:51I'm fit to be Victor's worst nightmare!
11:53But the toy every little girl and boy wants for Christmas is Harrison, the talking bear!
11:59Hey, check this out!
12:01Using a sophisticated computer chip, Harrison can learn up to 300 words, including a child's name!
12:08Hi!
12:09Hi!
12:09I'm Harrison!
12:10What's your name?
12:12Margo!
12:13Nice to meet you, Margo!
12:15Let's be friends!
12:17Ha ha!
12:18Well, if you want one in time for Christmas, well, you better hurry!
12:21Supplies are limited, and they're not...
12:23Man!
12:23I wish I had one of those when I was a kid!
12:26There it is, right there.
12:28Christmas lights 100 foot for $32.99.
12:31So if I want to get as many as Victor's got, let's see, that's gonna run me about, uh, a
12:38liver and two kidneys.
12:40Oh, boy.
12:42You know he's gonna have a whole winter wonderland over there for her.
12:44I can't really compete with his wallet, so I'm gonna have to use my head.
12:48I'll take the wallet for first round knockout.
12:51Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Mags.
12:53It's on the house, Larry.
12:58Wait a minute.
12:59I got a great idea.
13:01Come on.
13:06Well, that about does it.
13:07We're all done.
13:08That's it.
13:09That's the last part.
13:11You know, using these used car parts, Larry, was a great idea.
13:14This thing's gonna look amazing.
13:16Darn right it will.
13:17Tell you what, Victor can put that in his wallet and sit on it.
13:19You're not gonna find better Christmas lights than that anywhere.
13:22Not even a Kmart.
13:24Speaking of the devil.
13:25Well, looky here.
13:29This is gonna be fun.
13:31Hi, Daddy.
13:32Hey.
13:34What's this?
13:37Looks like you're using a lot of electricity, Larry.
13:41You sure this thing is safe?
13:42Come on, now.
13:43Of course it is.
13:43I rigged it myself.
13:44Obviously, it's safe.
13:46All right.
13:48Oh, for Pete's sake.
13:51Claude, would you get up here?
13:53All right.
13:55In honor of Christmas and Noel, I bring to everybody Larry's spectacular parade of lights.
14:03Use it, please, Claude.
14:09All right.
14:15That ought to be in some kind of a home and garden magazine right there.
14:18That's unbelievable.
14:21Oh!
14:23Oh!
14:24Oh!
14:27Oh!
14:29Oh!
14:30Oh!
14:31Oh!
14:31Oh!
14:31Oh!
14:32What do you think of that, sweetheart?
14:34It's awesome!
14:35It's glorious.
14:37And now I present to you the grand finale.
14:41As they say in French, the peace of the resistance.
14:52Daddy!
14:54Daddy?
14:55Harry, are you okay?
14:58Am I in heaven?
15:02No.
15:02Hi, Victor.
15:06Sorry there was a power at his last night, so we couldn't make pancakes this morning
15:10or bake Christmas cookies last night.
15:12It's okay.
15:12I can bake cookies later with Chef Felipe.
15:15Who's Chef Felipe?
15:17It's Victor Chef.
15:18Chef?
15:19I bet Victor Chef ain't got fruity pebbles.
15:22How's them fruity pebbles?
15:23Delish.
15:25That's right, they're delicious.
15:27Dad, I think we need a new holiday tree.
15:31What's wrong with that one?
15:32That's one of them little Charlie Brown trees.
15:34He's so cute.
15:37I like the smell of Mommy and Victor's better.
15:43And it doesn't have enough room for presents.
15:48Why don't you and me go shopping for a big old Christmas tree?
15:52Yay!
15:53Call Vince!
15:55Can I have this one?
15:57It's almost as big as the one that Mommy and Victor have at their house.
16:01Yeah, but honey, that thing's $300.
16:03I mean, that's crazy.
16:05$300, it ought to already have presents underneath it.
16:09You know what, sugar?
16:10Pickin' a Christmas tree is like picking a boyfriend.
16:12Trust me, you can't just settle on the first one.
16:14Or the second one.
16:15Or the third.
16:16Or the fourth.
16:16Or the fifth.
16:17Okay, I get it, Dad.
16:18Hey, can I get apple cider?
16:21I'll tell you what, that's the best idea I've heard all day.
16:25Here you go, get me one if it's not $300.
16:28Okay.
16:35So, you like what you see?
16:38Uh, I plead the fifth.
16:41Well, we have a wide variety of trees here.
16:44I see.
16:45If you want a fir tree, we've got Douglas fir.
16:47We've got Noble fir.
16:48We've got Conkler fir.
16:50We've got Canaan fir.
16:51But you know what?
16:51You look more like a pine guy to me.
16:54Do I look like a pine guy?
16:55Uh-huh.
16:56Here I thought I was more of a Conkler.
16:58Boy, all these years I've been living a lie.
17:01Well, we have white pine, Virginia pine, and Scotch pine.
17:04So, what's your pleasure?
17:05I want something very special and cheap.
17:08Special and cheap, huh?
17:10Well, the ones that are cheaper tend to be on the more sparse side.
17:14But you can cover it up if you flock it.
17:16Flocked?
17:17This one right here is only $165.
17:21$165.
17:22How much is the flocking?
17:23Oh, the flocking's free.
17:25You know what?
17:26I'll just take the flocking.
17:28Well, you could go for this little guy over here.
17:30He might be more in your price range.
17:33What in tarnation is that thing?
17:36That is a special order 50-foot Norway spruce shipped from me.
17:4150-foot?
17:42It cost $10,000.
17:45$10,000?
17:47What kind of blockhead buys a Christmas tree for $10,000?
17:52Okay.
17:53Yeah, yeah.
17:53That's great.
17:54Oh, never mind.
17:56Hey, can you give me a second?
17:57I want to check that tree out.
17:58Sure.
17:59That's something else.
18:03Couldn't find anything bigger?
18:05Just kidding.
18:06Thank you very much.
18:07It's fantastic.
18:10Hey, Trish.
18:11Oh.
18:11Oh, it's perfect.
18:13Noelle's gonna love it.
18:13It's gonna be the best tree lighting ever.
18:16Victor, I get that Baxter Box always goes to town's tree lighting ceremony,
18:19but do you really have to buy the town a $10,000 tree?
18:23Are you trying to run for mayor or something?
18:24No, no, hon.
18:26I'm just trying to buy some goodwill and affection here.
18:29I just figure the bigger the tree, the more the affection, right?
18:32Oh, so he's trying to buy Noelle's love.
18:35My little girl's love ain't for sale for anybody.
18:38Oh, sorry.
18:39Hey!
18:40Oh, I'm in here!
18:42Turn it off!
18:43I can't see!
18:45Turn it off!
18:46Somebody turn this machine off!
18:48I can't!
18:50I can't!
18:51Oh!
18:52Oh!
18:56Dad, what happened?
18:59Well, I hope somebody got the license plate of that pigeon.
19:03You wanna have a snowball fight?
19:05Huh?
19:06Come on!
19:13Yeah!
19:14Stouchy!
19:15Yeah!
19:15Ha-ha-ha-ha!
19:17Na-na-na-na-na!
19:19You missed me!
19:20We missed me!
19:22No, no, no!
19:24You have a really good arm!
19:26Yeah!
19:27Ha-ha-ha!
19:30Ha-ha-ha-ha!
19:32Ha-ha-ha!
19:32Ha-ha!
19:33Ha-ha-ha!
19:34Now she's done it!
19:35Ah!
19:36No!
19:37Okay, this is warm!
19:39Aw!
19:47Oh!
19:47Oh!
19:48I'm going to feel this in the morning.
19:50How are you even doing that?
19:54Ha!
19:56I hit you a hundred times.
19:59I got you a million and ninety-eight.
20:05Hey, you two have fun?
20:07We had tons of fun.
20:08I totally nailed Victor.
20:10Good for you.
20:12Well, your lunch is ready for you in the kitchen.
20:14And remember, we're dropping you off your dads at three.
20:18We have enough time for another snowball fight after lunch.
20:21Right, Victor?
20:23You wouldn't be interested in peace talks, would you?
20:26Not a chance.
20:29I had a lot of fun with you, Victor.
20:35Oh, me too.
20:37You're almost as much fun as my dad.
20:45Almost as much fun as Larry.
20:52I can't compete with that guy.
20:56Skating, sledding, hockey, ice fishing.
21:00He's like a big, squishy teddy bear.
21:03This isn't a competition, Victor.
21:05You're Noelle's dad, too.
21:07Dad number two.
21:09Second best.
21:10Runner-up.
21:11A substitute.
21:14Not the real thing, but a startling simulation.
21:17Dad, too, as in Dad, also.
21:21Your job is to be there for Noelle.
21:24Same as Larry.
21:26That's all that matters.
21:28Okay?
21:34Okay.
21:36Okay.
21:37Table, baby.
21:42I'm telling you, Clyde.
21:44Bitch, you may have a snow machine, but Noelle is gonna love this.
21:47Larry, this is crazy.
21:49Yeah, but this is a real good kind of crazy.
21:52Who needs a snow machine when you've got real snow?
21:57Go like this.
21:57It's better on your back.
22:06When is he gonna be here?
22:08I'm sure he'll be here soon, honey.
22:10Hopefully in the next year.
22:12It's Larry.
22:14There he is.
22:24Hi, Daddy.
22:25Where's my little girl?
22:28Oh, good night, Larch.
22:32Whoa, you're getting big.
22:33We've been waiting for a half hour, Larry.
22:35Where have you been?
22:36I got a surprise for Noelle.
22:38A surprise?
22:39What is it?
22:39What is it?
22:40How would you like to have some real snow at Christmas?
22:43We already have snow at Victor's.
22:45I know, but that's that fake stuff.
22:48I mean, real snow.
22:48This come out of the sky and everything.
22:50It's real snow, not that synthetic, man-made, polyester stuff that you got at your house.
22:55This is real.
22:57That would be awesome.
22:59Darn right it would be.
23:00Let's show these non-believers, Larry.
23:02Boy, I'm so glad I'm excited.
23:04This is the best idea I ever had.
23:05Get ready to be bowled over.
23:15Anybody got a towel?
23:16Daddy?
23:21You know what that is?
23:22No.
23:23It's a tickle monster!
23:26It's a tickle monster!
23:28All right, you goof.
23:29Time for bed.
23:32Good night, Dad.
23:33Thanks for the snow.
23:34I really liked it.
23:36Even though it's melted and everything.
23:39Ah, sweetie, that's nice of you.
23:41I appreciate it.
23:44Listen, I love you.
23:45Good night.
23:45Now, you have a good night's sleep, okay?
23:47Good night, Daddy.
23:49Good night, sweetie.
24:00I don't know, Claude.
24:01I just can't catch a break.
24:03I don't know how I can compete with Victor.
24:06No, it's tough.
24:07I'll give you that.
24:08He's younger, richer, more educated.
24:12He's in great shape.
24:13Much, much, much better looking.
24:15All right, I get the point.
24:17Look, the more important question is, why do you feel the need to compete with Victor?
24:22Noelle doesn't care about that stuff.
24:24She loves you for you, Larry.
24:26I am pretty lovable.
24:30Good night, Larry.
24:33See you later, Claude.
24:42Is my angel ready to order?
24:44I sure am.
24:46I was referring to the little angel.
24:48Oh, sorry.
24:49My usual, Maggie, please.
24:52PB and J, light on the PB and heavy on the J.
24:56Correct.
24:56You know what?
24:57I'll have the same thing I always have, too.
25:00Deep-fried everything, hold the salad.
25:02Boom.
25:03Tell you what, Maggie, you know me pretty good.
25:06I got your number, Larry.
25:12See what you're working on there, your homework?
25:14My letter to Santa.
25:16Letter to Santa?
25:17I thought you got that done July 4th.
25:21There's something special I want.
25:24What is it?
25:25I can't tell you, or anyone else.
25:28If I do, it won't come true.
25:31It's like making a wish.
25:33No, no, no, don't worry.
25:35I'm not going to ruin that, but, uh, hey, can you give me a little hint?
25:40I'm asking Santa for the one thing I want more than anything in the world.
25:50Well, hey, I got an idea.
25:53There's a mailbox right over there.
25:55Why don't you give me the letter, and then I'll run it out there.
25:59Would you, Daddy?
26:01Thank you so much.
26:02You got it, Squirtle.
26:03Come, I'll be right back.
26:15Hey, Larry.
26:16Hey, Claude.
26:17What's going on?
26:17What's going on, too?
26:18Ha, ha, ha.
26:19Noel's letter to Santa Claus.
26:21Figure what Victor can do in quantity, I can do with quality.
26:25Well, you're not thinking of opening that, are you?
26:28Ha, ha, yeah.
26:30Of course.
26:31I mean, look, Victor can get her big old trees and a bunch of fancy lights and a bunch of
26:35fake snow.
26:37But when I see what she's got in here, what she really wants for Christmas, I can give
26:41it to her.
26:42That's a private letter.
26:44Not addressed to you.
26:45Not to mention, that's a federal crime.
26:49Claude, it's my daughter's letter to Santa Claus.
26:53I think we're going to be fine.
26:55That's just wrong.
26:56Wrong, wrong, wrong.
26:58And you see this?
26:59This is my letter to Santa Claus.
27:01If I find out you tampered with it, well, you're going to answer to me and Mr. Claus himself.
27:12Boy, who pooped in his hash browns?
27:38Oh boy, her handwriting's horrible.
27:41Just like her daddy.
27:42Dear Santa, for Christmas I want my family to get her, her, her, uh, herisone.
27:53Huh?
27:55What the heck's a herisone?
27:57Bye-bye, Daddy!
27:59See you later, sweetheart!
28:04So, what did you and Larry do today?
28:07Not much.
28:08Uh-huh.
28:08More ice fishing?
28:10No, we just went to the diner.
28:14I wrote a letter of Santa!
28:15Oh, oh, oh, let me guess.
28:17Uh, Pixie and her Starburst buddies.
28:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
28:21little Paris and her magical closet.
28:24Those are little kid toys.
28:26Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
28:27What, um, what did you ask Santa for?
28:31I can't tell you or else I won't get what I want.
28:34I didn't even tell Dad.
28:36Oh, oh, well, you know, we should probably mail those letters right away.
28:42So, uh, you know, I could take it for you.
28:45Dad already did.
28:47Did he?
28:48He ran right out of the diner to mail as soon as I wrote it.
28:55Really?
28:58Thanks.
28:59Excuse me.
29:04Security Welling here.
29:05Welling!
29:07I have an assignment for you.
29:11Hmm.
29:13Yes, sir.
29:15It would be my pleasure, sir.
29:31What are you up to, Chubby?
29:42Oh, hey!
29:43Hi, I'm Jeffrey.
29:44Welcome to Toy Traders.
29:45Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa, and a very happy winter solstice.
29:51I think you got all the bases covered, Jim.
29:53Oh, thank you.
29:54Hey, listen, I'm looking for something, but I don't quite know what I'm looking for.
29:58Okay.
29:58Uh, Harrisona.
30:03I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time reading your handwriting.
30:06Oh, that's not my handwriting, that's my daughter.
30:07She said it.
30:09Mine's a lot worse, trust me.
30:10Oh, it is?
30:11Wow.
30:12Um, yeah.
30:14Do you have any of those?
30:15Yeah.
30:16Uh, no clue.
30:17No idea, sir.
30:19Hmm.
30:20Wait a second.
30:21Unless she means Harrison.
30:23What's a Harrison?
30:25Harrison the talking bear.
30:27You are going to love this.
30:28Follow me.
30:29Yes.
30:30Why, Harrison the talking bear, haven't you heard?
30:33It's only the most popular toy amongst the coveted five to ten-year-old age demographic.
30:37So, the bear learns the kids' names, and then sends it back to them.
30:42It's the hottest toy this season.
30:44Really?
30:44Oh, yeah.
30:45That bear?
30:45They love it.
30:46That's what kids are going nuts over.
30:48Going nuts for the bear.
30:49Well, all right, I guess I'll get my daughter one.
30:51Oh, sorry.
30:52But we're all sold out.
30:53These things keep flying off the shelves as fast as we can stock them.
30:57Oh, man, my daughter really wants one of these bears.
31:00You think maybe you might have one in the back?
31:02Sorry.
31:05But if you write your name and number down there, I will call you as soon as we get some
31:09more in.
31:10You think maybe some other stores might have one of these bears?
31:13Hmm, maybe.
31:14But you'll have to try again tomorrow because all the shops are closing up right now.
31:18All right, well, looks like tomorrow I'm going bear hunting.
31:22No, thanks for shopping at Toy Traders.
31:23Merry Christmas, happy holidays, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa, very happy winter solstice!
31:29Okay, okay.
31:30Merry Christmas in any language.
31:31Merry Christmas.
31:32Hey!
31:33Hi, I'm Jeffrey.
31:35Welcome to Toy Traders.
31:36Can I help you out with anything?
31:38A Harrison talking bear.
31:40Are you sure?
31:41That's what he asked for.
31:42He seemed really desperate to get it.
31:45So Noel wants a Harrison talking bear.
31:49And to your knowledge, he hasn't found one yet?
31:52Nope.
31:53All the other stores are closed.
31:54Although he'll certainly be out looking for one tomorrow.
31:58Good.
32:00I have another assignment for you.
32:09Five more minutes.
32:10Give me five more minutes.
32:1611 30.
32:59All right, this is Pete Harris.
33:01All right, this is Pete Harris.
33:34Let's load him up and move him out.
33:36Come on!
33:37Come on!
33:51Oh, man!
34:02Hi. Excuse me.
34:12Mine.
34:21Uh-huh. Yeah, I understand.
34:24Well, let me ask you. You gonna be getting any more Harrison Bears in?
34:28Well, I'm glad it's the daggum funny.
34:32Still no luck?
34:34Nothing. Tried every toy store, then 500 miles.
34:38Waynesville, Morgantown, Boone. They're all sold out.
34:41Well, what about online? Ebay? They got rush delivery, right?
34:47As soon as they get to me is on the 26th. I need it on Christmas.
34:50Not the day after.
34:51Well, I'm sure that she'll love whatever you got her.
34:56Well, that's the problem. I didn't get her nothing yet.
35:02Planting ahead, I see.
35:04Maggie, it ain't easy.
35:05Back in the day when she was littler, you know, going to some toy store
35:09and get her some kind of a doll with pink on it or some kind of unicorn or bunny
35:13or something with a magic wand.
35:16She's older now. It just doesn't work. It's a lot harder.
35:21I gotta get that bear.
35:29Here's Larry.
35:30Hey, this is Jeffrey calling from Toy Traders.
35:32You signed up for the Harrison wait list?
35:34Well, I'm calling to tell you that we have more Harrison bears just arrived.
35:38They'll be available tomorrow morning on a first come first serve basis.
35:41So get here early.
35:44Oh, man. I don't believe it. I got me a Harrison bear.
35:50Woo! Pie for everybody.
35:53You're the only one here, Larry.
35:55Well, I'll take theirs.
36:03Hey, Mr. Welling.
36:06Hey, this is Jeffrey calling from Toy Traders.
36:08Well, I'm calling to tell you some really, really good news.
36:12I see. First come first serve.
36:15What time do you open?
36:18And we'll see you then.
36:30I'm awake. I'm awake.
36:41Yeah, you're a pretty good dad, Larry.
36:44I bet Victor wouldn't do this for Noel.
36:47Oh, man. You gotta be kidding me.
36:52Hey, is everybody in this line to buy Harrison bear?
36:55That's right, friend.
36:58What some people won't do to get a toy, huh?
37:01Yeah.
37:03It's crazy.
37:11How you doing?
37:13Something bear.
37:20Good morning, everyone.
37:22Thank you for waiting outside all night long.
37:24I am thrilled to let you know that we have a new shipment of Harrison bears.
37:33Okay, one at a time. Let's slow down.
37:36Pick a time. There's no rush.
37:42Where are these bears?
37:47What?
37:48There's nothing here.
37:50Man, this can't be happening.
37:52Hey, where are all the bears?
37:55Yeah. Where's the new shipment?
37:57I'm sorry, everyone, but the Harrison bears have sold out.
38:01What?
38:01Come on.
38:04Thank you for shopping at Toy Traders, and have a very merry Christmas, a happy holidays, a happy Hanukkah, happy
38:10Kwanzaa, and a very happy winter solstice.
38:13Ah!
38:14You mean to tell me that thing sold out in five minutes?
38:16More like 30 seconds.
38:18First customer just came and bought them all.
38:21Oh-ho.
38:21He bought every one of them bears?
38:23Yeah.
38:24All 50 of them.
38:25Guess he's got a lot of kids.
38:26Did you guy like some kind of a one per family limit or something?
38:30Well, I-I told you, it was first come, first serve.
38:34Boy.
38:35You know what?
38:36I hope you have a sucky holiday, a sucky Christmas, a sucky Hanukkah, a sucky Kwanzaa, and a sucky winter
38:42salsa.
38:46What are you looking at? You started the whole thing.
38:49Oh, okay. Well, it looks like someone's gonna get coal in their stocking this year, when the coal, when the
38:56fairies put the coal, and you just wish you had something other than coal.
39:04Ah.
39:12Hey, you're the guy at the front of the line.
39:15Are you the guy that's been buying up all these bears?
39:17First come, first serve.
39:20You got like 50 of them. How many kids you got?
39:22I have a lot of nephews and nieces.
39:24Hey, listen.
39:26You think maybe you could, uh, spare me one of them?
39:29I mean, I'll give you $100.
39:32A hundred bucks! One bear!
39:34Sorry.
39:35Man, look, I'm des- man, I'm really desperate.
39:38I'd love to have one of those-
39:39Ah! Jeez!
39:42Uncle!
39:43If you'll excuse me, I have a lot more holiday shopping to attend to.
39:53If I wouldn't pull a Christmas spirit, I'd have knocked him out.
39:59And you're certain there's not a single Harrison bear on any shelf in town?
40:04Uh-huh.
40:05Thank you, Welling.
40:10Noelle!
40:11Your dad's here!
40:15Bye, Sweet Pea.
40:16Bye, Mom!
40:19So, how's everything, Larry?
40:21Oh, awesome. Real good. Couldn't be better.
40:24Doing any last-minute Christmas shopping?
40:25A little bit. You?
40:26Nope, nope, no. I think I got it pretty much wrapped up this year.
40:28Good.
40:29In fact, I think this is gonna turn out to be an extra-special Christmas for someone we both know.
40:36You two have fun.
40:39Come on, Dad!
40:42Come on, Dad!
40:48Wow! This is looking really great.
40:51You darn right it does. Look at it.
40:53Dad! You're eating all the shingles!
40:56I know. It's pathetic, ain't it?
41:00Here I thought I'd be pulled after the chimney.
41:04Don't worry, sweetheart.
41:06I got enough shingles for 10,000 gingerbread houses.
41:09Hey, I bet Victor doesn't have time to make a gingerbread house with you like I do.
41:14No. He's been awfully busy.
41:18He's in some big project called Operation Who's Your Daddy.
41:26Let me ask you something. You didn't happen to tell Victor was in that letter you wrote to Santa Claus,
41:30did you?
41:31Oh, no, Dad. I want to do anything that might keep me from getting what I asked for.
41:36Boy, you really want that thing, don't you?
41:39Whatever it is.
41:42Hey, sweetheart, let me ask you something.
41:45What if Santa Claus isn't able to get you what you asked for?
41:48Oh, no, Dad. Don't even say that. I know Santa will come through.
41:53He just... has to.
42:06You haven't even touched your pie.
42:08Oh, Maggie. I ain't got much of an appetite.
42:12Maybe I should take your pulse to see if you're still alive.
42:15It's a dead gum stuffed bear. It's stressing me out.
42:19You haven't found one yet?
42:20No. Them stuffed bears are rarer than a cab driver with fresh breath.
42:26Hey, maybe you should ask those ladies where they got theirs.
42:30Hurry!
42:31That's a Harrison bear.
42:33I'll be right back.
42:38Excuse me, ladies. Excuse me, ladies. Hold on.
42:42I'm desperate. It's a batch of bear.
42:44What about the bear?
42:46Well, I want it and I was wondering if anybody...
42:49No! You're the fifth person in the last hour to ask us about it.
42:52And we're telling you like we told all the others, it's not for sale at any price.
42:56No, I don't want to buy it. I was just saying...
42:58Oh, so you just want to take it.
43:00Nobody takes this bear. It's for our grandniece.
43:05No, I think you misunderstand.
43:06We're warning you.
43:07We've taken a senior citizen self-defense class.
43:10Huh?
43:14That'll teach ya.
43:15Don't mess with a senior.
43:21Oh, too long Christmas is getting violent.
43:30The Harrison bear.
43:32Rooster's tavern.
43:34Reindeer charity fundraiser.
43:38Yeah!
43:42Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Rooster's tavern's annual fucking reindeer charity fundraiser!
43:52Hooray!
43:55I'm not too crazy about this.
43:57We have ten very brave Santas up here, willing to risk life and limb.
44:03Life and limb.
44:04Help raise money from St. Luke's Children's Hospital by trying to see how long...
44:09They can stay open!
44:12I mean, I've never ridden a mechanical reindeer before.
44:14Neither have I.
44:15But the way I figure it, Oak's office riding it gives us a better chance of wearing that Harrison bear
44:19down there for Noel.
44:21And the Santa who stays on the longest will win our grand prize!
44:27Ho-ho-ho-ho!
44:29We got it, we got it.
44:30Better give up now, fellas.
44:31My boy wants that bear for Christmas, and I never let my boy down.
44:36Yeah, well, my little girl wants it too, and I never let my little girl down.
44:40I'll tell you something, it ain't over till it's over.
44:42Oh, it's over.
44:43Let the game begin!
44:47Santa number one!
44:48Victory!
44:49That's Santa number one up here!
44:51Are you ready? Santa number one!
44:53On your mark!
44:54Get shot!
44:56Let's rise!
45:04He's home for dear life!
45:06He's home for dear life!
45:07He's home for dear life!
45:07He's home for dear life!
45:07Thank you!
45:08He's done!
45:09He's home for dear life!
45:09We've got his score!
45:11Seven seconds!
45:12Not a bad start, Santa number one!
45:14But let's get the second Santa Claus up here!
45:16Good luck, Claude!
45:18You can do it, Claude!
45:19Stay on her, buddy!
45:21Santa number two, are you ready?
45:22I'm ready.
45:24Ready, set, let's ride!
45:30That was anchor today.
45:33How long did I go for?
45:34You were on board.
45:37One second.
45:39One second, everybody.
45:41Keep it going for Santa number three.
45:43Let's ride!
45:51Man, he's got nine seconds!
46:00Let's ride!
46:05Yes!
46:06Go, go, go!
46:10Yes!
46:11Oh, yeah!
46:14Santa number seven.
46:15Come on down!
46:17Woo-hoo!
46:19Let's ride!
46:22Number seven throwing on!
46:24Oh, yeah!
46:26He's got his famous car!
46:28Oh, my gosh!
46:30Look at this guy go!
46:31Oh, he's still hanging on!
46:33He's holding on for dear life!
46:35He's still going!
46:37He's got it, man!
46:38He's been on!
46:39You've got to be kidding me!
46:40Number seven.
46:42Twenty-two seconds!
46:44He's got it!
46:48You've done it, number seven!
46:49What are you going to do, Larry?
46:51You can't hold on for 23 seconds.
46:53I want to get something out of my truck.
46:54Come on.
46:55Let me tell you something.
46:56This glue's going to give me the edge I need.
46:58Do me a favor.
46:59Get my backside, would you?
47:00Oh, that's disgusting.
47:01Would you just do my backside there?
47:03Do you want Noel to win that bear or not?
47:05Oh, yeah.
47:07Do not forget, you must get at least 23 seconds on the bull to win the grand prize.
47:14Let's go, boys!
47:15Let's run!
47:17Come on, Timmy!
47:21He's a tornado in the back of the race here.
47:26How fast does this thing go?
47:27All right, let's go, boys!
48:00He's done it in 31 seconds!
48:03We got a new champion!
48:05I won!
48:06I won!
48:0831 seconds, you hear?
48:10You have won yourself a weekend for two in the beautiful, romantic, Pocono Mountains!
48:20Pocono?
48:21Alright!
48:21No, no, no, I wanted the bear!
48:24I thought first prize was the bear!
48:26Well done!
48:27Now, in second place, rider number seven, you have won Harrison the Talking Bear!
48:34I won?
48:38My boy's gonna have the best Christmas ever!
48:42Oh yeah!
48:43Number two!
48:44Give it up for number two!
48:46Oh yeah!
48:48And what am I gonna do with the trip to the Poconos?
48:51I'll go with you.
48:53Come on, Claude.
48:55Boy, it's breezy in here.
48:59I'll tell you, Claude.
49:00I don't know.
49:01I know this though.
49:03At this rate, I'm never gonna get one of them bears.
49:14What is going on?
49:20Harrison loves to play!
49:22Anybody in the air?
49:24That tickles!
49:25Haha!
49:26Hi, baby Harrison!
49:28Time for a nap!
49:30Hi, Heidi Ho!
49:32I'm Harrison!
49:34Harrison!
49:42Harrison loves to exercise!
49:44Where are all these bears coming from?
49:47How are you?
49:48How are you?
49:49How did you get any more of them talking bears in?
49:52Oh, hey!
49:52We certainly do!
49:53Man, everybody's got one but me.
49:55Can I have one?
49:56Yes you can.
49:57Yes you can.
49:58Hi, I'm Larry the Loser Bear. Get her done.
50:02Hey, that ain't a Harrison Bear. That's a me bear.
50:04Why, this is the second most popular toy amongst the coveted five to ten-year-old age demographic.
50:09Second most? Well, what's the most popular?
50:12This one.
50:14Hi-de-ho. I'm Victor the Talking Bear.
50:16I'm the best dad ever, and I'll buy whatever your little heart desires.
50:24I love that one. Every kid in America wants one of these.
50:27A Victor Bear? Daddy, can I please have it?
50:31That's the thing. I want more than anything for Christmas.
50:44I'm here at Town Hall, where they're setting up a soup kitchen for the homeless.
50:48As you can see, there are some wonderful toys that will be handed out at noon today
50:53to needy boys and girls by none other than Santa himself.
50:57Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas.
51:01Thank you, Santa. I'm Margot Price, Channel One News.
51:04Thanks, Margot.
51:05Oh, man.
51:07You could not be thinking what you're thinking right now.
51:31No gill there. Come on.
51:35Yeah, this $500 donation way makes up for that bear.
51:39All right.
51:42Larry? Larry Phillips?
51:44Yeah.
51:45Is that you?
51:46Oh, hey, Janie. How's Trix?
51:49Good, good. I was just dropping off some presents to donate for the charity event.
51:54I haven't seen you since we graduated from high school.
51:57I know. It's been a long time. All right, then.
52:00Larry, don't give up.
52:02You know? It's bound to get better.
52:05Oh, no, Janie. I'm doing fine, really.
52:07These are just old clothes. It's wash day.
52:10I hope this isn't because I dumped you, Larry.
52:14Well, hold on a second. I kind of remember that differently. It was kind of mutual.
52:19Oh, okay. I have to go to church, but it was really good seeing you again.
52:24You too.
52:24And I'm sure this is all just a little rough patch, you know?
52:28And I just want you to be brave.
52:31I don't need money, Janie.
52:33Larry, there is no shame in accepting help.
52:37You poor, poor man.
52:40I don't...
52:41What?
52:4220 bucks?
52:44Boy.
52:45I'm in the wrong business.
52:49Ho, ho, ho, ho.
52:51Well, I think I got something very nice for you.
52:57Merry Christmas.
53:01I hear you want a doggy for Christmas.
53:04Ho, ho, ho.
53:05Well, we just happen to have one here.
53:09Here you go.
53:10Merry Christmas.
53:12Ho, ho, ho, ho.
53:17That's what makes it all worthwhile.
53:22How you doing, Santa?
53:23Are you kidding me?
53:25You're cutting off the circulation in my legs.
53:28Come on, the real Santa Claus wouldn't care about stuff like that.
53:31Oh, yeah?
53:32Well, real Santa Claus is kind of busy this time of year, you might have noticed.
53:35Look, I'm here for my daughter.
53:37Oh, yeah?
53:38Why isn't she here herself?
53:40Well, I'll be honest with you.
53:40She's kind of scared of Santa Claus.
53:42How does a kid not like Santa Claus?
53:44Well, I don't know.
53:45I guess she must have sat on some Santa's lap that was sweating real bad and had bad breath
53:49and asked a lot of nosy questions.
53:51Okay, okay.
53:53Here you go.
53:54Ho, ho, this is for your daughter.
53:57She don't want that.
53:57She wants that Harrison bear.
53:58Can I get that Harrison bear?
53:59Don't.
54:00She's gonna love the dog.
54:01Santa Claus, I am not leaving your lap until I get that Harrison bear.
54:04As a matter of fact, I had some Mexican food last night,
54:06that's starting to bubble up on me.
54:08You're gonna give me that bear because if I explode on you,
54:11you're gonna have to call Roto-Rooter for some backup.
54:13Give this guy his bear.
54:15Give him his bear.
54:19Oh, man, Santa Claus, you just made a dad and a little girl really happy.
54:24Oh, hi.
54:24I'm Harrison.
54:26I'm going for my bear.
54:27I've got a new bear.
54:30Ho, ho, ho, ho.
54:32I got a bear.
54:33I got a bear.
54:34You got me a Harrison bear.
54:36I can't believe I got a bear.
54:39Whoa, is that a Harrison bear?
54:41Sure is, buddy.
54:42I got it for my daughter.
54:43Oh.
54:45She sure is lucky.
54:46I wanted the same thing,
54:48but Daddy says Santa's on a tight budget this year.
54:51That's terrible.
54:52Well, maybe your Daddy will come up with something
54:55and you'll have a good Christmas this year.
54:57He can't.
54:58He doesn't get out of jail till Valentine's Day.
55:02He was just trying to steal enough money so Mom could get her operation.
55:07Man, that's really sad.
55:09Oh, well.
55:10I just hope Santa doesn't forget me on Christmas,
55:14like he did last year.
55:15And the year before that.
55:17And the year before that.
55:22Hey, kid.
55:24Catch.
55:26You're giving me your Harrison talking bear?
55:29Yeah.
55:30I figure since Santa's on a tight budget this year,
55:33I'll be Santa's helper.
55:35So, Merry Christmas.
55:39Sucker!
55:44And that's why some couples just have pets.
55:47I've been hacked.
55:49Hey, bring me back that bear!
55:53Come back in!
55:55Bring me back my bear!
56:02Excuse me.
56:03Sorry.
56:04Get out of here, sir!
56:14Get out of here, you little punk!
56:16Now give me that bear!
56:18Brat chance, Tubby!
56:19Tubby, come on.
56:20You know that's hurtful.
56:21I'm not Tubby.
56:22I'm Big Bone.
56:23Now give me that bear!
56:24Please, mister.
56:25Don't take my Harrison bear.
56:27I'm begging you.
56:30Oh, my kid.
56:30Just give me the bear.
56:31I won't let you take my bear,
56:33no matter how much you threaten me.
56:35Hey, hey, what's going on here?
56:36Are you threatening this little boy?
56:38I'm not threatening that little punk.
56:40He tricked me out of that bear.
56:41It was a gift from my daddy.
56:43He was in jail.
56:44And he wants to take it away from me.
56:46That's real rich, kid.
56:47That's real rich.
56:48You're pretty good, you know?
56:50Larry, just because you've fallen on hard times,
56:53that's no excuse to steal from a child.
56:57No, y'all are misunderstanding the whole thing
56:59about what's happening here.
57:01Oh, I understand.
57:02I understand you should be put in jail.
57:04Come on, let's get him.
57:07Wait a minute.
57:08For the record, Janie, I dumped you.
57:13Oh, that's it.
57:14Let's get him!
57:15Let's get him!
57:33Nice work, kid.
57:3550 bucks is agreed.
57:38It'll be 100.
57:40We agreed on 50.
57:42Delivery charges?
57:43Or did you want me to give it back to the doofus?
57:48I'm starting to feel like the doofus myself, kid.
57:51On three.
57:53One, two, three.
58:00Stupid bear.
58:03That's tickled.
58:05Get back there!
58:06Get up!
58:08Get up!
58:09Get up!
58:09Get up!
58:09Get up!
58:09Get up!
58:10Get up!
58:11Get up!
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