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Taskmaster - S20E10 - The Final： Supping from the Fountain [Full Movie] [Recommended]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Oh, no!
00:05Hello?
00:12Hey!
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:32Hello!
00:34And welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:43There are some that say I'm struggling to write introductions after 20 series.
00:47To those people, I say this.
00:49I've got a brain for business and a body for sin.
00:51I give out the points to decide who will win.
00:54I'm the Taskmaster, this show's magistrate.
00:56I'm inconsistent because of my swollen prostate.
01:00LAUGHTER
01:02Who dared to enter my realm of tusks?
01:04Three northerners are Gen Z and the Sanjeev of Basques.
01:07I'll give them all names, I'll give them all hope.
01:10But my allegiance, as ever, remains with the Pope.
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:15So, for the last time, please welcome our five would-be champions.
01:21Anya Magliano!
01:25Maisie Adelaide!
01:27Phil Ennis!
01:29Reece Sheer-Smith!
01:31And Sanjeev Basques!
01:36And next to me, a man who recently confided in me in private
01:40that he likes women who fart.
01:44BL Elsa and Cassieiser.
01:46He he hee!
01:48Little Alec Horne!
01:50It's hurt.
01:51All right.
01:53We know it so well, Greg, don't we?
01:55We do.
01:56Let's find out how well you know me Greg a little quiz your little quiz. Oh, is this your chat
02:00section? Shut your eyes
02:02What color is my hair Greg? Jesus pepper pot ginger? Correct. What color are my teeth Greg?
02:08They're sort of an off-white apart from one which is black and folded in on itself
02:14What color are my eyes Greg?
02:19Blue no
02:22They're brown
02:26If you want
02:31You've painted brown eyes on your lids, that's it and that's the springboard for the grand final final
02:41Okay, what's the price test category that we've saved for the final
02:45Well, the only one it could be Greg it has grand final written all over it as each of them
02:50has brought in their very best
02:52tube
02:56Five important grand final points for the best tube and five actual tubes for the episode winner shut up, Alex
03:02Here we go
03:03All right, then
03:05Phil
03:06Hi
03:08Before we go any further I would like to say you shouldn't grow your hair long
03:15Because there's some glamorous pirates in this row, but you look like a man who'd try and sell me meat
03:20out of a bag
03:23What tube have you brought in is it a good tube? It's a good old tube of lube
03:28Um, I found it in the park
03:31I told you that's where we left it
03:39Yeah, this is why it's the best tube because you know what kind of situation you're in with lube
03:44If you're using it to get in something, it's a good day
03:48If
03:51If you're using it to get out of something, it's a bad day
03:55Yeah
03:57I think I've got everything I need to know
03:58Yeah
03:59Macy
04:01I've brought my favourite tube of pasta
04:03If you've just brought a tube of pasta in, then against all odds, Phil's not getting one bit
04:08No, no, no
04:09I've made a tube, but like I've made it into a tube
04:13Let's have a look
04:14As in the tube
04:15With little pasta wheels
04:19That's good, isn't it?
04:21I know what you're thinking, you're going, Macy, it still looks just a bit like pasta
04:25Which is why I've painted it to look like the tube
04:28Here we go
04:32It's good, I've got nothing sarcastic to say
04:35I like the tube of the tube
04:37Rhys
04:37So I brought in a test tube with the umbilical cord of a werewolf
04:44Here it is
04:45Oh!
04:48You bought that?
04:49Yep
04:49From somebody who told you it was the umbilical cord of a werewolf?
04:52Yep
04:52Yeah
04:54I knew it wasn't
04:55But it was a display made lovingly by someone that crafts this sort of thing
05:02I thought some bloke up north had licked a twig that put it in a test tube
05:05And hit you for 500 quid
05:08Yeah
05:09I've still got my umbilical cord
05:11Shut up
05:13It's still attached
05:14I've still...
05:16Are you eating?
05:19I quite often feed myself through it
05:21You don't need to use a mouth
05:22Yeah
05:23Anya, hello
05:24I've brought in also a test tube
05:26Um, but I've brought in a test tube that's, uh, filled with DNA
05:31It's DNA that I've harvested myself
05:33Alex, perhaps you could show the photo of me
05:35Yes, this is Anya harvesting DNA
05:38Oh
05:38You've found a little hair, haven't you, Anya?
05:40Yeah, I don't know if you recognise that jacket, Greg
05:43Ha ha ha
05:44Oh, no
05:47I thought it would be good to finally get some closure on everything that's been going on
05:50Um, so I sent off your DNA
05:53Alongside some of my DNA
05:54To the lab
05:56Yeah
05:56And we just got some very interesting results
05:58Here are the DNA results
05:59The child there, Anya Magliano
06:01If we zoom in, we can see what they think
06:06That's high, that is high
06:08Hello, Daddy
06:10Well, that's, uh, genuinely unsettling
06:13Yeah
06:14Congratulations
06:15Thank you
06:15We'll talk about Christmas later
06:18Sanjay
06:19OK, well, this is my best tube
06:22This is a tube that contains stories, history, but also warnings, danger
06:28It's extraordinary
06:29Uh, it is a tube, uh, like, uh, and it's of my DNA
06:33Yeah
06:34Here we are
06:35I know what it is, I guess, as soon as you start talking
06:38For the third time in the series
06:39Yeah
06:39Yes, it's the tube of...
06:40There it is!
06:41LAUGHTER
06:43LAUGHTER
06:43Once again
06:44Why is this piss better than your previous pisses?
06:47LAUGHTER
06:49It's fresher
06:50LAUGHTER
06:52OK
06:52OK
06:54Tell me some points, Greg
06:55I'm very fond of Phil, but the idea that he's last minute grabbed a tube-a-loop
07:00Half a tube-a-loop
07:01I can't give him more than one
07:02I'm sort of disgusted by the werewolf, but I like the story behind it
07:07I'm used to Sanjeev's urine now
07:10So the novelty's worn off a little bit
07:12But I'm going to give them three points
07:13Both the werewolf umbilical cord and Sanjeev's urine
07:17Wow
07:18Now, I think this will, um, reflect very badly on me
07:22Please put a tube of pasta above your daughter
07:25LAUGHTER
07:27Greg, you've done that for 27 years
07:29LAUGHTER
07:30I don't know why
07:31I am going to give...
07:33LAUGHTER
07:34I'm going to give my daughter four points
07:36And I'm going to give a woman who's made a tube out of pasta
07:40Five
07:40Well done, Maisie Adam
07:42Five points
07:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:47All right, let's get going
07:48Let's get to your tasks
07:48Yes
07:49Well, what better way to begin
07:50Than with the final team task of the series
07:53And a good old cup of tea or two
07:55Or 14
07:59MUSIC PLAYS
08:00MUSIC PLAYS
08:01MUSIC PLAYS
08:06MUSIC PLAYS
08:08Hi
08:08Hello
08:09Hi
08:10Hey
08:12Hi
08:12Thanks for meeting you here
08:14Hello
08:15What are you doing?
08:16Hi, Rhys
08:17What do you want?
08:17Hi, Maisie
08:18I want one of you to turn left into the living room
08:20And one of you right into the kitchen
08:23Bothered?
08:24I'll go in here
08:25I like a kitchen
08:27You don't have to
08:28That's the wrong answer in this day and age
08:29Oh, yes
08:30Do you want to swap it?
08:31Do you want it?
08:32Just so you don't get an article about you
08:34Fair enough
08:35Yeah, well, I don't know
08:36Does anyone feel comfortable being on their own?
08:38I've spent my life on my own
08:40I'm happy with that
08:41This is your mate
08:42Let's go in here
08:43OK
08:44Right, good luck
08:45Good luck
08:52Cops
08:52Tea?
08:54Tea cups?
08:55Mm-hmm
08:55Oh, no
08:56I think I've got more responsibility in this
08:58I'm so nervous about letting Rhys down
09:02WHISTLE
09:03OK
09:04Make exactly the same looking drinks as your teammates' drinks
09:08Your teammates must make exactly the same looking drinks as your drinks
09:12Your entire team may only open two doors
09:16May only open two doors
09:18What does that mean?
09:20Most similar looking drinks wins
09:22You have 15 minutes
09:25Your time starts now
09:26Time starts now
09:27I wish I hadn't gone on my own
09:30Terrible decision
09:32APPLAUSE
09:37I'm really afraid of letting me down
09:39Often, Maisie's very worried about keeping you happy
09:43It's quite frightened of me
09:45Because you're fucking terrified
09:46LAUGHTER
09:48Let's get going
09:48Let's start with a team of two
09:50They've been a true power couple so far
09:53Let's see how they got on
09:54And their final team task
09:55I think we did it
09:57BUZZER
09:58BUZZER
09:59MAISIE?
10:00Hello
10:01So, have you got the same task as me?
10:03It's about making the same drink
10:04Yeah
10:05Have you got seven drinks in front of you?
10:08Yes, I have
10:09Of different colours?
10:10No
10:11Oh
10:12Right, OK
10:13So, you've got the drinks probably
10:14And I have to make the drinks to make them like your drinks
10:18Yes
10:18OK, so start with the first drink on the left
10:21Like a cranberry juice
10:23OK, so I'm going to look in the fridge for some cranberry juice
10:26I'm opening it
10:28Yeah
10:28You've opened one door
10:30Right, look for any of these things, Rhys
10:33Yeah
10:33Cranberry juice
10:34Tomato soup
10:35Anything that's like a bright green
10:38None of those things you've said so far are in this fridge
10:41Then it's a cup of coffee, but it's frothy
10:43So I think that's like a latte with milk
10:45Where am I going to get that from out of a cupboard?
10:47Well, I don't know
10:48Skip that one
10:49I'm a bit worried about leaving the fridge door open so long
10:52Things will start going off
10:53Oh, I've set him off now
10:55You've got like teriyaki sauce
10:58Would that be like a brown drink?
11:00Yeah, that could be the last one
11:01Bob that in number seven
11:02OK, I'm doing it now
11:03Keep the doors open
11:04Yeah
11:05Yeah, it's teriyaki, I've just smelt it
11:07Oh, well, good
11:08One done
11:09So I've got tomato ketchup
11:10Yes, take that out
11:12Oh, look, here we are
11:15Can you hear me?
11:16Yes
11:16Yes, I can hear you
11:18Hello, Rhys
11:19Can't hear you
11:20Maisie talking
11:22Erm, what?
11:23Maisie talking
11:23Oh, right, there you are
11:25I've got you
11:25Right, I reckon go to a cupboard
11:27Oh, God
11:28And we're looking for
11:30Cranberry sauce
11:31Tomato soup
11:32Right
11:32But the problem is, though, Maisie
11:34There's about three cupboards
11:35And I don't know which one to pick
11:36It's literally a guessing game
11:37I'm just going to open one
11:38That looks like it's got things in it
11:40I'm opening it now
11:41This could be the end of the game
11:43It's the end of the game
11:46What's in there?
11:47I've opened the wrong one, Maisie
11:49And there's nothing in it
11:49Apart from plates
11:50So now what we've got is
11:51Some teriyaki sauce
11:52Tomato sauce
11:53And some milk
11:55Is there anything that looks like
11:56Tomato sauce?
11:57We'll start with that
11:58Right, number two
11:59Go
12:0050%
12:01Tomato sauce
12:02Mix it with a load of water
12:04From the sink
12:05And then I reckon
12:06Number one
12:07Put a tiny bit of ketchup in
12:08And then the rest
12:09Water
12:10Because it's sort of a clearish red
12:12Oh
12:13Number five is a cup of tea
12:15Right, I'll try and do a tea
12:16What are you making your tea with, Rhys?
12:18Teriyaki and some milk
12:20It's going to look like tea
12:22Watch number three
12:24Tea that has just had the bag in
12:27But nothing else
12:28Can you do that?
12:30Ah
12:30Right, you've found the tea, have you now?
12:33I can do that
12:34There was tea all along
12:38The chocolate one
12:40It's like a salty coffee
12:41Maybe just spitting it
12:43Nothing must be a bubbly
12:45You've got one minute left
12:46OK, right, so number four
12:48I'll neck the green
12:49And then it's just both empty cups
12:51Isn't it?
12:52Do that, that's brilliant
12:56That's all we did
12:59That's your time up
13:01Are you all amazing?
13:03Yeah
13:04I think it was cucumber
13:06Hey, you know what?
13:07Have we done OK?
13:08Have we?
13:09That's not bad, actually
13:10Oh, Rhys, we've smashed it
13:12I think that's good
13:13That's bagging
13:13So which cupboard did you open?
13:15It's this one
13:17Imagine that this point
13:18But you can see through here
13:19Well, this is what I thought
13:20It was a trick
13:22Thank you, team
13:23Do you feel a bit queasy?
13:25I bet you do
13:33See, she's no doormat really, is she?
13:35No, not at all
13:36Although we did have yet another
13:37Oh, I've set him off now
13:40It's like some abusive, like, terrible ogre
13:43You are, though
13:43It is funny
13:44Like, you open the fridge
13:46Which Maisie can't see
13:48And you went
13:49Oh, none of the things you've said are in this fridge
13:53Like, it's her fault
13:55It's frustration
13:56It comes out in different ways
13:57I mean, they were pretty good, though
13:59Yeah
14:00As far as I could see
14:01Well, considering they opened the fridge
14:03And a cupboard for the plate
14:06That's a hell of a start to this task
14:07We're off for a break now
14:09So that means you are too
14:10We'll see you in a minute
14:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:23Welcome back to Taskmaster
14:25It's the final
14:26And we're in the middle of a final team task
14:28Whoa, you've got to be kidding me
14:30Yes, the...
14:32LAUGHTER
14:32The task is to make exactly the same looking drinks
14:36In the kitchen as the drinks in the living room
14:37The entire team may only open two doors
14:40Most similar looking drinks wins
14:42Now, for the final time
14:44It's Anya, Phil and Sanjeev
14:46Phil?
14:47Bear with me
14:49The first one has no flavour
14:51But it's warm
14:53About the same heat as you're in
14:55Fresh
14:56LAUGHTER
14:57Wait a minute
14:59I could just open this door, couldn't I?
15:01I think one of our doors might have to be the fridge door
15:05Oh, that's...
15:06I was...
15:07Yeah, I'm really glad I didn't just open the cupboard behind me now
15:10Yeah, don't do anything
15:12Oh, dear
15:14Erm...
15:14I'm scared
15:15I don't like leaving him unattended
15:18LAUGHTER
15:20Oh, wait a minute
15:20Why don't you just bring them here
15:22And I'll just pour mine into yours
15:24Oh, what, if we pour exactly half?
15:27Yeah, we can do that
15:28That's easy then, isn't it?
15:30Ha-ha!
15:31Suckers!
15:37It looks like he's having some trouble
15:41One door open
15:42We're opening our second door
15:44Yeah, you may open no more doors
15:46How much time have we got left, Alex?
15:48Seven minutes
15:48Seven minutes
15:49Ooh!
15:51Well...
15:51What about that?
15:52Oh, yeah, that's good
15:53Oh, good
15:53Well, let's see how much is in each one with that
15:56You've got a little bit of dribble on your rim there
15:58If you want to be predominantly
16:00On the urine
16:00See what I mean?
16:01It's the same warmth, isn't it?
16:02Oh, it is, actually
16:03It's like when you give a medical sample
16:05Yeah, yeah
16:05I got a text of the day asking for a store sample
16:09And, er...
16:10No, just stop there
16:10It's just a good text
16:11We'll leave it at that
16:12That's really good
16:13What we've done is amazing
16:15There's a minute left
16:16But you can leave at any point
16:18OK
16:19Are you just doing the washing up now?
16:20Oh, yeah
16:20That's nice
16:21Ten seconds left
16:23Task is over
16:23Thanks, though
16:24Thank you, team
16:25Thank you
16:26Thank you, everyone
16:27Go, team!
16:30APPLAUSE
16:31Before the beatie started
16:33I wrote down
16:33Not to be negative
16:34But I predict Phil will be shit at this
16:38And then
16:39Within seconds
16:40And you said
16:41I don't like leaving him unattended
16:44Unattended
16:45I don't
16:46But
16:47He had a brilliant idea
16:48Yeah
16:49Just
16:50Whip across
16:51Pulled it in
16:52Yeah
16:52It was just a work of genius
16:54Are you sure that was me?
16:56It was you
16:56I think so
16:57And we didn't see that coming as well
16:58I didn't see that as a possible solution
16:59Very frustrating
17:01And by the end of the task
17:02It was just a lovely family dynamic
17:04Yeah
17:04Dad did the washing up
17:05While the two kids talked about wee and poo
17:10I really feel like you're the father who left me
17:12And Sanjeev is the father who raised me
17:14LAUGHTER
17:15HE CLEARS
17:16HE CLEARS
17:17HE CLEARS
17:17HE CLEARS
17:19Really good
17:20Both teams were great
17:21But obviously the team of three
17:23Yeah
17:23Knocked it out of the park
17:25Although
17:25I would say
17:26Nearly all of them
17:27Were fantastic
17:29Oh
17:31What?
17:32Well, I couldn't help but notice
17:34Oh, don't do this
17:35What?
17:36What?
17:39Straw, straw. There must be a straw here.
17:52Suddenly, this daddy's looking a bit more attractive, isn't he?
17:57Oh, my God! Was it just me? Oh, just you, yeah.
18:00No-one else opened a door, Sanjeef. Oh, my...
18:02I told you to watch him. You know he doesn't know what's going on
18:05half the time.
18:07So, what happens now? He's disqualified, I'm afraid.
18:10All of us?
18:12Team of three, yeah.
18:14Yes, Rhys!
18:16It's a tragedy, yeah, and it's really unfortunate,
18:19but accidents happen, and that's the nature of the team task.
18:22Sanjeef doesn't look that bothered.
18:26Couldn't give a shit.
18:29You have an OBE. Some of us need this.
18:33This is going to go on my gravestone.
18:36There you go.
18:37So, the scores are zero for the team of three
18:39and five for the team of two.
18:40I'm afraid so.
18:41Well done, Major.
18:41Well done, I'm crazy.
18:42Don't worry.
18:43Sorry.
18:45Can't we help the scoreboard, please?
18:47Yes, well, in terms of the series,
18:48there's only one point separating the top two players.
18:52Oh!
18:52And all five are still fairly close.
18:54It's exciting.
18:55Oh!
18:56In this episode, Maisie's in the lead with ten!
18:59APPLAUSE
19:03Right.
19:04Next!
19:05It's time to make this final suck in a good way.
19:23Hello.
19:24Maisie.
19:25Great to see you.
19:26Nice to see you.
19:27We get on well, don't we?
19:28For legal reasons.
19:30Yes.
19:32Ooh.
19:32Ooh.
19:33Why haven't I got an envelope with some mics on it?
19:36Run out.
19:37Right.
19:38Drink almost all the apple juice.
19:40You must not touch the cup and the cup must not move.
19:45Fastest wins, your time starts now.
19:48Pythagoras, hands off.
19:49That's a clue.
19:51Now, if my geography serves me correctly,
19:53Pythagoras is a pretty cool island, very rich in iron ore.
20:00I think we're going to smash it.
20:02LAUGHTER
20:05APPLAUSE
20:07Well, I mean, I won't pretend that I got it,
20:10but it's a clue, right?
20:11The mug is a clue.
20:13Mm, yes.
20:14The Pythagoras mug.
20:15First up, to slurp nearly all the apple juice,
20:18it's my favourite musical artists, Enya and Jay-Z.
20:22Here we go.
20:23LAUGHTER
20:25Well, I don't think I should lick it up like a cat.
20:29LAUGHTER
20:30I need a straw, essentially.
20:32I can move.
20:34Is there a straw anywhere?
20:36Oh.
20:38Underneath, there's a straw in there.
20:41Is that a straw under there?
20:43I've not looked.
20:43Yeah.
20:45Yeah.
20:47Yeah.
20:51OK, no.
20:56I can't do it.
21:04Oh!
21:08Ah!
21:09I've got apple in me ear.
21:11LAUGHTER
21:11Oh!
21:13Oh!
21:13It's really in there.
21:17LAUGHTER
21:23It's gone.
21:24No, it's still there.
21:26I don't think you've drunk almost all of it yet.
21:27Oh, you want me to lick it out of the litter tray?
21:30This is degrading now.
21:33LAUGHTER
21:37Hang on, I can touch that, though, can't I?
21:40Let's not touch the cup on the customer.
21:42Ah, yeah, fine.
21:44Oh.
21:45There we go.
21:46It does look like I'm drinking cat litter.
21:48Weird.
21:50Stop the clock.
21:55Bost it!
21:57Bit in the ear, but no problem.
21:59Most of it in the mouth.
22:00Yeah.
22:03Oh, yeah.
22:04Listen to that.
22:09You know, not a lot of dignity there, but they seem fast.
22:13They didn't really use the Pythagoras clue.
22:15Well, look, it's a confusing task, there's no doubt about that.
22:18What that thing is, is a special Pythagoras cup.
22:21If you fill it over a certain level, it suddenly siphons down
22:24and if you suck from the bottom, it suddenly plunges forth.
22:26But you lapped it up like cats.
22:28I wonder if Phil's going to make this easy.
22:31OK, now, as advised by several professional people,
22:34we have put Phil all by himself.
22:35Here we go.
22:36Oh, God.
22:37Right, so that's not a cup.
22:38That is a cup.
22:41I think that's apple juice.
22:42OK.
22:43I haven't got any sense of smell.
22:44I got hit by a football when I was nine.
22:50What's this?
22:51Why is that there?
22:55That's nothing!
22:56That was a mislead!
22:57I don't think...
22:58I don't think I'm missing something.
23:00Can I leave the room?
23:01All the information's on the table.
23:03Fastest wins your time, sir.
23:04Oh, I could have just left the room.
23:05OK.
23:06What are you going to get?
23:07Well, weirdly, I was thinking tissue and then soak it up
23:10and squirt it in my mouth, but maybe just a straw.
23:11Oh.
23:12Well, the clock's ticking.
23:15Is there any straws?
23:16Why is there never anything you need?
23:22I'm certainly smashed this.
23:24I'm panicked.
23:25Don't know why I've got the funnel.
23:26What is that?
23:27This looks like it's used to give a cow a child.
23:31I've never seen it before.
23:34Oh.
23:42Almost all, that's almost.
23:44What do you have to do with him?
23:46Have you finished?
23:48Almost.
23:49I've stuck the clock.
23:50Well done, Phil.
23:54It's like watching a deleted scene from Oliver sometimes.
23:58Just this urchin looking round the posh house,
24:00not understanding anything.
24:02I've had so many insights over the last few weeks
24:05into your childhood.
24:06You can't smell because you've got hit in the head
24:08by a football.
24:09Yeah.
24:10Can you not smell at all?
24:11No.
24:12OK.
24:12I smell five points a foot.
24:17Did he get it down, him?
24:18The juice?
24:19Yes, he drank nearly all of it.
24:20The time so far.
24:21Anya, 1 minute 39.
24:22Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
24:23Phil, 14 minutes 55.
24:27OK, that's halfway through this grand final.
24:30Be brave.
24:32Be strong.
24:33Be good.
24:45Hello.
24:47Oh, hello, everyone.
24:49Welcome to the third part of our final,
24:54and a task involving the consumption of apple juice.
24:57Ooh, yeah.
24:57Big time, seriously.
24:59And we end with two Goliaths from the world of celebrity juice
25:02drinking Rhys and Sanjeev.
25:05OK, so, well, the theory of Pythagoras, I think,
25:09is something about displacement, isn't it?
25:11If I pour water into there, more diluted apple juice will pour out
25:17and I could start trying to drink it.
25:19OK.
25:36It's gone.
25:37Have you drunk almost all of it?
25:43Almost all, but there's a bit left.
25:45I've stopped the clock.
25:46I guess I didn't need to do the thing of leaning under it
25:48and drinking something from the fountain, did I?
25:52No.
25:54But I did.
26:19There you go.
26:20Is that almost all?
26:21It's almost all.
26:22Do you know what just happened?
26:23It's Bernoulli's Theorem.
26:26It's about displacement and water pressure, yeah.
26:29How are we spelling Bernoulli?
26:30However you like.
26:31It's exactly how it sounds.
26:33Bernoulli's Theorem.
26:35Erm, can I have a wee now?
26:36Yeah.
26:37No, and you want to.
26:38Excellent.
26:45Count, countless television appearances.
26:48What a career, and now this.
26:50It's Doctor Displacement.
26:54That was textbooks.
26:55Sanjeev was completely correct.
26:57It is the Bernoulli principle.
26:59I'd never heard of it.
27:00He had.
27:02You must be more excited about this victory than...
27:05No, I don't know if I've opened a bloody cupboard door yet.
27:08LAUGHTER
27:10I'll tell you now, you're safe.
27:12Am I?
27:13Yeah.
27:14I'm still feeling bad about the cupboard door for these guys.
27:17Rhys, again, knew about displacement.
27:20Yeah.
27:20And then, as soon as the stream started, complete breakdown.
27:24LAUGHTER
27:25I just went straight mouth to stream and was...
27:28I really enjoyed it, though.
27:30Yeah.
27:32The robot had malfunctioned.
27:34Exactly.
27:34I was just glad that I did think to drink it from the bowl.
27:37So good.
27:38Yeah.
27:38Well, we know who's won.
27:39So, Phil, yes.
27:40One point, you were 15 minutes, almost.
27:42Maisie, two minutes, 13.
27:44Rhys, you were two minutes, 10.
27:45Just three seconds quicker than Maisie.
27:47Oh, Rhys.
27:47And here we know, one minute, 39.
27:50Sanjeev...
27:5045 seconds!
27:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:55And Doctor Displacement has struck!
27:58Aye!
27:59Aye!
28:02I can barely bring myself to ask, but please...
28:06Oh, may we have the last task?
28:08It's sad, but it's also exciting because...
28:11And get ready, this one involves the word...
28:14Whence.
28:15Whence.
28:29Oh!
28:30You like that?
28:32Yeah.
28:32It's just floating there.
28:34Yes.
28:35LAUGHTER
28:39What?
28:40Oh, this is good.
28:41Make water squirt out of you in a surprising way.
28:46In 15 minutes, Alex will guess whence the water will squirt.
28:51Whence.
28:52Whence.
28:53I think I know what whence means, but I'm not sure.
28:57For every incorrect guess, you may squirt him for one second at the end of the task.
29:04Longest time squirting, Alex wins.
29:07That shouldn't even be a sentence.
29:09Your time starts now.
29:15Magic.
29:17APPLAUSE
29:20What's going on with you?
29:21LAUGHTER
29:23Ever since you've got your new laptop, it's all...
29:26It's so fast.
29:26It's all weird, sexy stuff, isn't it?
29:28I've seen so much recently.
29:30LAUGHTER
29:31All right, let's see Alex using a show to get his kicks.
29:36LAUGHTER
29:36Yes, please, we're starting with Anya's pipes and Rhys' pieces.
29:48I can see pipes, I can see tubes.
29:52I'm going to make my first guess.
29:55I think the water is going to come out of the chest tube.
29:58Wrong?
29:59That's one second of squirting.
30:02Did you enjoy a chest tube?
30:09LAUGHTER
30:17How are you doing?
30:18I'm all right, how are you doing?
30:19I'm good, yeah.
30:21I think the water is going to squirt out of the mouth tube.
30:25OK. Rhys?
30:26Yeah?
30:27Are you going to squirt me from your nose?
30:32No.
30:34Out of the elbow pipe?
30:36No.
30:37You're going to squirt me from your groin?
30:39Well, let's see, shall we?
30:44No?
30:45Nothing coming?
30:46Nothing?
30:46Actually, it was a bit, but no.
30:49I'm going with right trouser leg tube, please.
30:52Negative.
30:53I can't help but notice there is a hose going out of this and over there.
30:56Yes.
30:57You know what?
30:58I'm going to follow the hose.
30:59OK, yeah.
31:00I've got to follow the hose.
31:01Follow the hose.
31:02It goes in there.
31:03It goes up.
31:03It goes...
31:07I'm not sure you can dismantle me.
31:11Put that back in, that might be part of something.
31:15Right.
31:15So the hose is a red herring.
31:18Well, could be.
31:19Well, it is.
31:20I've just pulled it out.
31:21This is good.
31:21The table is upturned.
31:24I'll give you all the information.
31:28The time has started.
31:31I'm going round the back.
31:32There's still some more on the front that you haven't seen, even.
31:36I am going round the back.
31:37OK.
31:40Ah, yeah.
31:41Hello.
31:43Anya, is the water going to squirt out of the back of your head?
31:47Yes.
31:48Well, it's going to do that for eight seconds.
31:50Yeah.
31:50So, well done you.
31:52Is it going to come out of your foot?
31:57You've got it.
31:59Yeah.
32:00Thank you very much.
32:06Another terrifying character.
32:08Yes.
32:09To add.
32:10But it was all about the ruses and the pipes that led to nothing.
32:13Yeah.
32:14That was what you had to say.
32:14And yet, for the vast majority of it, I just couldn't take my eyes off the nose.
32:19It was quite dominant, wasn't it?
32:20Yeah.
32:21How many seconds of squirting did he gain himself?
32:24It took 14 guesses to find the tube and eight guesses, of course, with Anya after I asked permission to
32:30go round the back.
32:31Yes.
32:33Making something that wasn't creepy so creepy.
32:37Who's next?
32:38It's now time for the cheesy guys.
32:40Phil, Adelphia, Ellis and Maisie Edan.
32:50Oh.
32:51Hello.
32:53I see.
32:57Well, let's start with this guy.
33:00What's that one?
33:01The, er...
33:01Little yellow thigh one.
33:02Yellow thigh?
33:03Mm-hmm.
33:04No.
33:09Hi.
33:10Hi, Phil.
33:12You all right?
33:12It's funny when you walk into a situation.
33:14I like it.
33:15I don't.
33:16Quite a lot of, er, ends of hoses.
33:19Well, you never know, do you?
33:21You never know where the hose.
33:23It looks like that's where it goes, the hose.
33:26The hose goes where my rosemary grows.
33:30I don't know where your rosemary goes.
33:31Yeah, it tastes wrang.
33:34Head tube.
33:34Beat the head tube.
33:37No dice, baby!
33:41Let's go for a fish.
33:43A fish?
33:44This fish.
33:44My sternum fish?
33:45Mm-hmm.
33:46No.
33:46Penguin.
33:47On the head?
33:48Yes.
33:49No.
33:50Right shoulder.
33:51Wrong shoulder, baby!
33:53Er, this one.
33:53That's another guess.
33:55I'm just gonna check round the back.
33:57Oh, dear.
33:58Oh, dear.
33:59Oh, dear.
34:00I'd like to put my hand in there.
34:02I'd like you to.
34:03Right wrist.
34:04No.
34:04Left wrist.
34:05No.
34:05Can I have Adele?
34:06It's a welcome mat.
34:07Crack on.
34:08I just want to see if it's going up or down.
34:10I don't know if you're allowed.
34:11That was my penis.
34:14Right elbow.
34:14No.
34:15Left elbow.
34:16No.
34:16Racking them seconds up, Alex.
34:1825, 39, 40, 41, and 28.
34:2229.
34:23I mean, I can see that some of these aren't going anywhere.
34:25Yeah.
34:2530, 31, 32, 33, 34.
34:28Quick trip round the back.
34:35Right.
34:42Maisie, are you going to squirt me out of your arse?
34:44Yeah.
34:47OK.
34:4721 seconds of squirting.
34:4921 seconds.
34:50Yeah.
34:50I can see a crease in your left boot.
34:53Oh, well, I hope we've got a winner.
34:56So.
34:5745 seconds.
34:5845 seconds.
34:59I don't think I feel comfortable wasting that much water.
35:06There's been a few tasks in this series where Maisie looked incredibly pleased with herself and smug.
35:13And it has always ended in disaster.
35:15But that time, well deserved.
35:17Yeah.
35:18Pleased with herself throughout.
35:19All right.
35:20And then delighted that she's going to squirt you from her arse.
35:25And as for the porcupine poet of squirting, a similar tactic to cover himself in stuff.
35:33Yeah.
35:34And some lovely messages for the kids there.
35:36Are you going to put your hand in there?
35:38I'd like to.
35:39I'd like you to.
35:40That's consent.
35:46Just one more small part left.
35:48Who will squirt Alex for the longest?
35:50Who will win the trophy?
35:52And who will take home the last?
35:54And I imagine the strongest of Sanjeev's urine samples.
35:59Stay tuned.
36:00APPLAUSE
36:10Hello!
36:12We are, then, the last part of our final and our 20th adventure together, my little friend.
36:25We got it together, didn't we, mate?
36:26We got it together.
36:28Finally.
36:33Here we go, then, just one more person for me to guess from whence the water will come.
36:39And it is Sanjeev Bhaskar like you've never seen him before.
36:43Hi, Sanjeev.
36:57OK.
36:59Sanjeev?
37:00My first guess, are you going to squirt me from your mouth?
37:05Are you going to squirt me out of your eyes?
37:10Are you going to squirt me out of your bosoms?
37:13From your tummy?
37:15Can I see your hands?
37:18Right, well...
37:18OK.
37:19So, you've got lots of water balloons strapped to your chest.
37:23Are you going to squirt me from your chest area?
37:26From your legs?
37:27From your behind?
37:29Armpits?
37:30Flanks?
37:32Flanks?
37:35Flanks?
37:35Flanks?
37:36Flanks?
37:36No.
37:38Would you mind opening up a little bit more for me?
37:43Right.
37:48Are you going to squirt me from your crotch?
37:50Feet?
37:51Ears?
37:52Hands?
37:52Knees?
37:53Neck?
37:54Shins?
37:55Nape?
37:55From your hips?
37:56Top of the head?
37:57Lower back?
37:58Shoulders?
37:58Thummy button?
37:59Nostrils?
38:00Forehead?
38:01That is all of you.
38:03Are you going to squirt me?
38:06From your body?
38:09From here to here?
38:12This side of you?
38:14OK.
38:20Elbow?
38:21You're going to squirt me from your elbow?
38:24Whoo!
38:25OK.
38:26Oh!
38:27Flanks?
38:29Flanks?
38:30I would add another 20 minutes onto that from your sheer desperation.
38:39Another character that will endure, I'm sure.
38:42Who was that man of mystery?
38:44Flanks.
38:45Flanks?
38:46You were so upset by me suggesting flanks.
38:49I just think generally they're irritated by you this series.
38:54You're the standard chance.
38:55Yeah, there were 29 guesses, so it's another nearly half a minute of squirting I'm going to have in a
38:59second.
38:59Points-wise, Anya, just the one point.
39:02It's two to Rhys with his 14 questions.
39:04Three to Maisie, four to Sanjeev, but Phil with his 45 questions.
39:08Five points!
39:12Here they are, then.
39:13Here they are, then.
39:13Your class of series 20, simply squirting.
39:17Water on, please.
39:20Squirt.
39:21Yes.
39:21Yes.
39:21Yes, yes.
39:32Yes.
39:36No, no, no, no...
39:36Squirt.
39:38Yes.
39:47This is the best fun of Hudia.
40:15MUSIC CONTINUES
40:18Seems to be aiming for the face. I'm trying to open my eyes to look at my wall.
40:21No, you're not allowed.
40:23Three seconds left.
40:28I'm happy with that.
40:30Thank you very much, Sanjee. Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:34Triumph.
40:37Did you piss yourself?
40:39I didn't piss myself. I don't know.
40:41I'm 46.
40:44Finally! It's another one off the bucket list.
40:46Now all I'm going to do is marry a swan.
40:50I need Lent!
40:55It's difficult today who enjoyed it the most, doesn't it, really?
40:59All my dreams came true.
41:01The targeted crotch squirt from Riggs was good.
41:05But facially, the person who enjoyed it, Max, was you.
41:09LAUGHTER
41:09LAUGHTER
41:12Looked like a 12-year-old.
41:14LAUGHTER
41:15She was so accurate.
41:17All so great.
41:18So satisfied.
41:20Series-wise, there is still just one point in it at the top.
41:23What?
41:25OK, everyone, I'm afraid it's time for you all to make your way to the stage
41:29for the final task of the series!
41:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:37What a lovely collection of final pirates.
41:41Who's going to read the task out?
41:42I think Rhys is going to read the final task.
41:45Correspondence.
41:46LAUGHTER
41:49Respond to the taskmaster correctly.
41:51When he says Wibble, you say Bibble.
41:54When he says Bibble, you say Bam.
41:58When he says Bam, you say Wibble, Bibble, Bam.
42:02If you dither or err, you are eliminated.
42:06Last player standing wins.
42:09LAUGHTER
42:10So Greg will look at one of you, and that's who he's talking to.
42:13You must respond correctly and quickly.
42:16If there's too much of a pause, you will be eliminated.
42:19If you make a mistake, you're out.
42:20You have to sit on the elimination bench over there.
42:22Wibble, Bam.
42:23I will blow the whistle if there's a mistake.
42:25Wibble, Bibble, Bam.
42:26Here we go.
42:27Wibble.
42:28Bibble.
42:30Bibble.
42:30Bam.
42:33Bam.
42:33Wibble, Bibble, Bam.
42:35Wibble.
42:36Bam.
42:38BUZZ
42:38Fuck!
42:39LAUGHTER
42:41It's always Bibble after Wibble.
42:43APPLAUSE
42:43Very cool.
42:45Now the whistle.
42:46Wibble.
42:47Bibble.
42:48Bam.
42:49Wibble, Bibble, Bam.
42:50Bam.
42:51Wibble, Bibble, Bam.
42:53Bibble.
42:54Bam.
42:54Wibble.
42:55Bibble.
42:56Bam.
42:56Wibble, Bibble, Bam.
43:00Bibble.
43:00Bam.
43:01Bibble.
43:01Bam.
43:02Wibble, Bibble, Bam.
43:03Bibble.
43:05Bib... Bam.
43:13What a terrible day for feminism.
43:18Silence!
43:19Benches on the benches.
43:23Are you ready?
43:24Yeah.
43:25Bam.
43:26Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:27Bibble.
43:27Bam.
43:28Bibble.
43:29Bam.
43:30Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:31Bibble.
43:32Wibble.
43:33That went wrong!
43:34We've lost Rees.
43:35He said bibble, he said wibble.
43:36That's all right, surely?
43:38Oh, he's gone.
43:38I protest, you're magnificent!
43:40APPLAUSE
43:42This is the final.
43:43Here we go.
43:45Bam.
43:46Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:47Bibble.
43:47Bam.
43:48Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:50Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:51Bam.
43:52Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:53Bibble-bam.
43:54Bibble-bam.
43:57Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:58Wibble-bibble-bam.
43:58Bibble-bibble-bam.
44:02Bam.
44:03Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:04Bibble-bibble-bibble.
44:06Wibble-bibble.
44:06Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:09Wibble-bam.
44:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:12You soft-haired lovely.
44:14Congratulations.
44:15We'll add that to the final scores.
44:17Come down and join me!
44:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:24What a climax to the series.
44:27I was genuinely shaking afterwards.
44:29Yeah.
44:29But well done.
44:30Five points, of course, to Phil Ellis.
44:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:34And so, we'll deal with the episode first, I imagine.
44:37Of course.
44:37It means that in joint second, with 16 points, it's Rhys and Sanjee!
44:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:49Maisie Adam wins the episode.
44:54Please show up to the stage to be triumphant with your jewels!
45:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:08Hello, my friends.
45:10The crowning of a new Taskmaster champion is a historic event,
45:14which we celebrate just twice a year.
45:17That's right, quite often.
45:19But it remains of great significance.
45:22And so, now, I call upon my administrator, Alex.
45:25Just how close was this?
45:26I must tell you that in fifth place,
45:28but just a handful of points away from the others,
45:32one of my all-time heroes, it's Sanjeev Bhaskar,
45:34with 143 points!
45:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:38Just five points ahead of Sanjeev, with 148 points.
45:43Another of my heroes, it's Rhys Shearsmith!
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:48And only a few points above that, with 151 points.
45:53It's Phil Ellis!
45:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:57And Maisie Adam!
45:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:01He's got a few seconds!
46:03And Anya Magliorno!
46:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:12It's never happened before.
46:14It is a series tie-break.
46:17A three-way.
46:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:21Yes, it's the most important tie-break in the world.
46:25We want you to think back and tell us how many letter T's are there
46:30in the portrait of me and Greg in the living room.
46:34Oh!
46:34Are you fucking joking?
46:36Come on, Marley!
46:37Closest wins.
46:38You're going to have some cards to write down your answers.
46:40What do you mean, T's?
46:41The letter T.
46:43It's actually written down?
46:45There were letter T's on the picture the whole time you were there.
46:48They were hidden within the painting.
46:50And what, roughly how many is it?
46:53Write down a number.
46:55Nice and clear and then keep it to yourself.
47:00Philip, how many T's were hidden in the painting?
47:03Ten.
47:03Maisie?
47:04Five.
47:05Anya?
47:06Sixteen.
47:07Here is the picture.
47:08You can see a T here, here, here on my dungarees.
47:13Oh!
47:14Here on the doorbell.
47:16And that is all the T's are a four T's.
47:18We have a winner!
47:19Oh, yeah!
47:20Oh, wow!
47:22The new Taskmaster champion is Maisie Adam!
47:26Yeah!….
47:29которойn!
47:30… Ай!
47:30Эй!
47:35Ай!
47:41Эй!
47:49Ай!
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