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00:02Oh
00:34Oh
00:36Welcome to taskmaster the only show on television that conclusively proves that all of life's struggles are ultimately pointless and
00:44that the gods are just toying with us before death
00:49The trials commence let's meet our five competitors from wildly different parts of the globe like the north of England
00:56Dublin the north of England the west of England and the north of England
01:20Who admitted to me that he photocopies and elderly relatives blue parking badge
01:24So that he could enjoy the Hollywood spaces near the entrance to Tesco
01:38I'm feeling good. I'm looking great. I think I've cracked it. I've got a new health regime. It's so simple.
01:43Honestly, I don't go to the gym
01:44It's just dog walking
01:4645 minutes a day dog walking so the opening section of the show is you you've walked your dog a
01:51bit and you feel like you've lost some weight
01:52No, not quite. No, no 45 minutes dog walking coming to show you. It's just it's like that
02:01Okay, I'm with the price task then jolly good. Yes, you've got it pop it and this week they've brought
02:09in
02:21the most fun thing to turn upside down so there will be five points for the most fun thing to
02:28turn upside down and all five fun things will go home with the episode winner who can keep them whichever
02:31way up they bloody well want
02:33Welcome contestants Steve start with you today. How are you? I'm very well. Thank you puppet. How are you?
02:42What have you brought me you can turn upside down that I'll have fun with a calculator
02:50Yeah, and I approve this message
02:53Do you know the number is 8 0 0 8 it's 5 3 1 8 double 0 8 and here
03:00it is
03:01Yeah, yeah, you turn that upside down. He's saying that I don't like I don't know
03:08Well, I thought you might find boobies a little bit limited so
03:15as well as your boobies what else have you got for me I thought it might be nice to compose
03:20a calculator haiku
03:22So a haiku obviously is a Japanese poem with five syllables seven syllables and five syllables we go to a
03:29haiku club every Sunday
03:30So this is a calculator haiku big boss gobbles eggs
03:36His whole oozes shizzle
03:39gosh
03:41Beige blobs soil his shoes
03:50Who's next Sophie what have you brought in this nice turned upside down state pudding?
03:57One of a northern delicous it's very beautiful popper
04:04It's got gravy in the center with state chunks
04:07Sorry, you ask Sophie if she thinks I don't know what a pie is
04:13I think you may have missed the point of this
04:16You can't just tell me a thing you like eating
04:19Well, it's the most fun thing to turn upside down
04:22They're very satisfying to pull the tin foil off
04:25Yeah, thank you
04:26I concur
04:27I concur I concur and if you had two of them at the same time
04:29Boobies
04:34John, Greg, what have you bought us?
04:36I have brought in the Chicago Bulls logo
04:41Are you familiar with it? A lovely big bull?
04:43Yes
04:43Why is it going to be fun when I turn it upside down?
04:46I don't like to curse too much on telly, Greg, because my mum will be watching this
04:52There's no other way to describe this to you what happens when you turn it upside down
04:56Okay
04:56It looks like a robot fucking a crab
04:59LAUGHTER
05:02That's another of my fantasies
05:05Here we go
05:05Okay
05:08LAUGHTER
05:08Oh, yeah
05:10I don't like what's the positioning
05:12It is a sad robot making sweet love to a crab
05:16From behind
05:17From behind
05:18The robot isn't happy about this
05:20LAUGHTER
05:22The robot is angry
05:23But also it's a challenge to initiate it because they're obviously moving left to right
05:28LAUGHTER
05:30Maybe the robot's angry because he's got a nasty case of humans
05:35LAUGHTER
05:37APPLAUSE
05:40Nick
05:41Well, if you bring up the picture then I'll be able to explain
05:45So a friend of my mum's at the church that she goes to went on holiday
05:50And brought them all back, these lovely vases
05:53LAUGHTER
05:56My mum popped some flowers in, watered the flowers
06:00And then the following week said to him, he was like, I'm so sorry, it is just leaking
06:04And he was like, it is a drum
06:06LAUGHTER
06:07This is a debate but I put it to you that there's not a person in this room who didn't
06:11think, why someone put flowers in that drum
06:13LAUGHTER
06:14That's the opposite of what she thought
06:17LAUGHTER
06:17Joanne
06:18Yes, so, you know the way bats, they hang normally upside down
06:22But if you flip a bat around, so it's facing up when it's upside down
06:26Let's start again
06:28LAUGHTER
06:29Bats sleep upside down
06:30Bats sleep upside down traditionally
06:31And what you're saying is, if you flip a bat while it's sleeping
06:34So it looks like it's standing up but it's actually upside down
06:37Yeah
06:37It looks like kind of a goth disco
06:39First of all, this is what she's brought in, which is a bat
06:42Yeah
06:43But what this bat represents is a goth disco
06:46Yeah
06:46Demonstrated here by some bats
06:48BATS
06:49BATS
06:50BATS
06:53BATS
06:54BATS
06:54BATS
06:54BATS
06:54BATS
06:55BATS
06:56BATS
07:15BATS
07:16BATS
07:17And then, I'm going to give the drum 4 points because I just think it's adorable
07:20And, er, the bats are just haunting
07:24And Steve's genius should be rewarded for all that work
07:28So I'll give bats and Steve 5 points
07:30WHOOP
07:31ali!
07:31OK, let's get going, what have you got for me, Alex?
07:38A former Romanian football player, Greg,
07:41because the five competitors are about to try their hand at Petrescu.
07:45Petrescu. They're going to rescue a pet.
07:48LAUGHTER
08:06Joanne.
08:08It's like a fantasy of mine.
08:09Is it? Yeah.
08:10Well, we do our best. We did a lot of research.
08:13I'm aroused.
08:15The Lord Greg's, he's quite tender.
08:18That makes sense, yeah. Yeah.
08:20Are they all in his bed at night? Yes.
08:23Good morning, Alex. Hello, John.
08:26This is the task. No envelope.
08:30Missing. Rescue the cat.
08:31Goes by the name Patatas.
08:34Goes by the name of Patatas.
08:37As in Patatas Brevas.
08:39The cat must come out of the top hole.
08:42There's a hell on the top of the dam.
08:45Is there a claw? Do I have to man a claw?
08:47It's up to you.
08:48Your head may not enter the dome.
08:52The door must remain closed.
08:55This door.
08:56But I've got to keep my head out.
08:58I don't know where the cat is amongst this lot.
09:02Right.
09:04Fastest wins.
09:06Your time starts now, I suppose, eh?
09:08Right, OK.
09:08I don't have a clue, actually.
09:10OK, I'm ready.
09:12APPLAUSE
09:15I've always wanted to be in one of those machines.
09:17Have a swim.
09:18Yeah.
09:19And then pulled out by a claw.
09:20Has anyone ever won any on one of those things?
09:23Never.
09:23Oh, yeah, quite often.
09:26It's just technique and practice.
09:27Have you won on one of those things?
09:29LAUGHTER
09:29OK, let's go.
09:31Let's see them trying to get Patatas out of a big dome.
09:33OK.
09:34First up, we're going to see Joanne fulfil her fantasy
09:36and Steve fulfil his contractual obligations.
09:39Here we go!
09:41The door must remain closed.
09:44Oh, my God, it is a claw!
09:47Amazing!
09:49Oh, Patatas, Patatas.
09:52Have you definitely read all the instructions?
09:54Uh, yes, yeah, the door must remain closed.
09:57I'm just seeing that the zip works.
10:00LAUGHTER
10:00All right, OK.
10:01Let's do it.
10:02No, let's do it the hard way.
10:05So I have to find...
10:06I see the cat there!
10:08God, I wouldn't be rescuing that cat if it was mine.
10:10It looks like a bad job at Taxi Dermy.
10:13LAUGHTER
10:15OK, so I'm assuming this is relevant in some way.
10:18Ah, right, we've got an opening.
10:21Um, now, I thought I saw Patatas,
10:24but how do I encourage him to...
10:27Oh, he's got to go out the top hole!
10:29I'm going to try and fashion a noose for the cat's neck.
10:33He didn't say it had to come out alive,
10:34he just thought it had to come out.
10:38Have you used a ladder before?
10:40LAUGHTER
10:44OK, hold the ladder.
10:46LAUGHTER
10:49That's a big hook.
10:50It's a big hook.
10:51Big hook for a big job.
10:54OK, come on, Patatas.
10:56Be brave us.
10:58LAUGHTER
10:59Where is he?
11:00Cumin.
11:02If I grab the can and just throw it out the top...
11:07OK, if this goes back in now,
11:09I'm just going to throw myself in front of a car.
11:14Oh!
11:16Oh!
11:18Ah!
11:19LAUGHTER
11:22I can't go through it all again.
11:24I've no hooks left.
11:27I wonder could I blow him over?
11:30LAUGHTER
11:32Remember, your head can't go in.
11:33It's not in at the moment.
11:34Yes, head not in.
11:36Come on, Patatas.
11:38Cumin.
11:40Oh!
11:41Is that patatas?
11:46OK.
11:55Well, I stopped the pot, please.
11:57Yeah, all right.
12:00Maybe I could drag it fuck over.
12:02Yeah.
12:03Oh, this is actually quite good, this thing.
12:06I should have gone with that with the start.
12:09Right, there he is.
12:10The cat must come out of the top of the hole.
12:13Like, the other option is to put rope through the roof and tie it.
12:19OK.
12:20Tie the rope really fucking tight.
12:22Oh, I've got an idea.
12:24Can it go in the top and then come back out?
12:26Oh!
12:28Up we go.
12:30If you fucking detach.
12:32LAUGHTER
12:39No.
12:42Here we go.
12:46I should acknowledge, come on, Patatas, be bravas.
12:50You see, you're coming over to my side now.
12:53I am not.
12:55Joanne, you were very pleased when you came up with the rope idea.
12:58I was, yeah.
12:59You were.
12:59And I asked if we could just isolate your facial expression when you came up with your rope idea.
13:05LAUGHTER
13:07If you didn't know what the task was, that would be a very troubling still.
13:12LAUGHTER
13:15We're back into crab and robot terms with that.
13:18How did Joanne do?
13:20The task was to rescue the can.
13:21She did all that in 22 minutes, 20 seconds.
13:24Oh, right, good.
13:25I'd save your applause.
13:27LAUGHTER
13:28Bear in mind that Steve did it in 2 minutes 19.
13:32APPLAUSE
13:34Right, time for some adverts now.
13:37BORING!
13:38LAUGHTER
13:50You have returned just in the nick of time.
13:52There's a cat that needs rescuing and he goes by the name of Patatas.
13:55Yes, Patatas keeps getting stuck in the dome, poor thing.
13:59And now it's time for Nick and Sophie to let the cat out of the bag.
14:03OK, now can I go and get some stuff?
14:06OK.
14:07I'm just off to a shed.
14:08Do you know what, Soda, I'm just going to go in.
14:11That's sort of like a cat, isn't it, that fur?
14:14Ah, a cat?
14:15That's actually a cat.
14:17Oh, no, it's a wolf.
14:20I can see the cat.
14:22Oh, yeah.
14:23The idea is to sort of make a little pole thing.
14:27Oh, I might just go with the panda, you know.
14:30Oh, there he is!
14:32I can see him.
14:33You found Patatas?
14:35I could make, like, a really sticky end.
14:38Make a sticky end?
14:40Yeah.
14:40All right, now we go and have a look in the shed.
14:43I need a fishing rod.
14:45It's about fishing.
14:47It's about fishing.
14:48OK, this looks good.
14:50This looks good.
14:52Right, couple of magnets.
14:53Oh, yeah.
14:54Couple of magnets and a sticky end, I think.
14:56Couple of magnets and a sticky end.
15:00Right, down we go.
15:02In.
15:04I'm so close to the bastard.
15:07Come on!
15:08I didn't go.
15:15Oh, my God.
15:17Oh, it's actually heavier than it.
15:19It looks.
15:22Now, if I was taller...
15:25Big here.
15:25...huge it.
15:26...I thought it was lovely.
15:29Oh!
15:30Oh!
15:32Yeah!
15:35I thought that...
15:35Can't get us!
15:39Can you...
15:40Are you allowed to go in?
15:41Right, I'll do you to go...
15:43...and pick him up...
15:44...and put him on my hook.
15:47Now, my head...
15:48My arm can go in, can't it?
15:49Can't it?
15:49Oh, yeah.
15:50Between us, we might do this.
15:52...you're through it go.
15:52Oh my goodness, oh my goodness.
15:55I think I've done it.
15:57Gosh, come on.
15:59Oh, hang on, it's very heavy, actually.
16:01They didn't say it would be heavy.
16:02Oh my God, I can't believe it.
16:04Yes, patatas, right.
16:06Here we go.
16:08So.
16:14Yes!
16:20There you go.
16:22It's safe.
16:22We've rescued the cat in the traditional method
16:24of flinging onto a roof.
16:28Yes, come on, you little bastard.
16:30Come on.
16:32He's nearly here.
16:33Come on.
16:33Woo!
16:34Woo!
16:36Woo!
16:37We'll stop the pot.
16:38Good work.
16:43I'm glad you rescued patatas.
16:45Yeah.
16:46Yeah.
16:46Do you like him?
16:47He's all right.
16:47I feel a bit resentful, but...
16:49Yeah, thank you.
16:51APPLAUSE
16:53I got the impression that neither of you were particularly concerned
16:57about patatas' welfare during that.
16:59Every man for themself, I think, isn't it?
17:02Every cat.
17:03Yeah.
17:04Did it say that we had to protect its welfare?
17:06No, I just think I expected sort of internal kindness from you, Nick.
17:11Yes.
17:12Yeah?
17:12Yeah.
17:14What's Nick's system called?
17:16A couple of magnets and a sticky end.
17:17Ah, yes.
17:19And then you flung it through the hole.
17:21The time was...
17:2214 minutes.
17:2214 minutes.
17:24Sophie took ten minutes to spot patatas.
17:28LAUGHTER
17:31She took 26 minutes and six seconds.
17:33APPLAUSE
17:36One person there.
17:38Famously, cats catch robins.
17:40But can robins catch cat?
17:42LAUGHTER
17:46This has got to be something, hasn't it?
17:49What's that for?
17:52Why is there that on the end?
17:55Ah!
17:56That's good.
17:58There we go.
18:01LAUGHTER
18:03LAUGHTER
18:07TATATAS
18:10TATATAS
18:11TATATAS
18:12TATATAS
18:14TATATAS
18:14TATATAS
18:15TATATAS
18:15TATATAS
18:15TATATAS
18:15TATATAS
18:16TATATAS
18:16I've stopped the clock, Tom.
18:17Bye-bye!
18:18Bye-bye!
18:21APPLAUSE
18:23Can I just add that over the past few minutes of watching everybody else's,
18:28I've been having a very slow-level heart attack because I thought,
18:31did you remember to take it out of the top hole?
18:33You'll be thrilled here, you did pop it out of the right hole.
18:35I did, I missed...
18:36Yeah, I'm panicking.
18:37But...
18:38Unfortunately...
18:39What?!
18:39I do have to disqualify you.
18:41No!
18:43What?!
18:43No, I'm only joking.
18:44Oh, my God!
18:46LAUGHTER
18:49I'm actually sweating!
18:51APPLAUSE
18:53There is slight ex-news, though.
18:55No!
18:56We did heavily edit that.
18:58You got very suspicious, first of all, that there was no cat at all.
19:01Then you thought the boxing glove might be a distraction,
19:03then you opened the grabber,
19:04then you went to the shed to look for a hook,
19:05and then you came back.
19:06Your total time was 3 minutes 24,
19:08which is actually one minute slower than Steve.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:13So the actual timings, Sophie gets one point, obviously,
19:16two to Joanne, three to Nick, four to John,
19:18but five in the end to Steve Templeton.
19:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:24Scoreboard, please.
19:25Yes.
19:25Well, we have three people, Joanne, Nick and John,
19:28all on seven points,
19:29Sophie's on two,
19:30and Steve's in the lead with ten points!
19:31Hooray!
19:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:35OK.
19:36Please may we have a team task, Alex?
19:38Ooh, yes.
19:39Good shout, Greg-apotamus.
19:41And whoops!
19:42LAUGHTER
19:42I think...
19:45Um, whoopsie,
19:46I think we've blown the visual FX budget for the whole series.
19:49Watch this.
19:51MUSIC
20:00Hello.
20:02LAUGHTER
20:06Jesus, John.
20:08You're what?
20:09You've got ruthless there.
20:10I'm so sorry.
20:11Alex!
20:13Where's Alex?
20:14Did we have to find him?
20:19No.
20:22Oh, God!
20:23Woo!
20:25Oh, dear!
20:27A floating envelope and a floating head.
20:29Amazing!
20:31Oh, I caught it.
20:32Well done.
20:34Oh.
20:36Oh.
20:39Are you a green screen?
20:40Yeah, I'm a green screen.
20:42Right.
20:44Do the most epic thing using green material and this green screen onesie.
20:51You have 30 minutes.
20:52Your time starts now.
20:55Why does it only green material, though?
20:57It turns everything invisible.
20:59So...
20:59I don't understand.
21:00Alex, I think we're going to spend about 25 minutes working out what green screen is,
21:03and then we're going to come back with a plan.
21:05OK.
21:06Yeah.
21:06My head's going to float away now.
21:08Is it really?
21:09But, no, because it's not green behind you.
21:11Doesn't have to be.
21:12Doesn't it?
21:15Well done, Alex.
21:16See you later.
21:19APPLAUSE
21:25There's a certain little smug look you get on your face when you've done a thing you like.
21:29You liked the floating head, didn't you?
21:31Yeah.
21:31I don't understand it either, but it is...
21:33Cos I couldn't see my body at all.
21:34It's so weird.
21:38OK, shall we start?
21:39Let's go.
21:39Let's start with the crazy guys.
21:41Nick and Steve and their epic vision.
21:50Pancakes.
21:53Pancakes.
21:59Pancakes.
22:06Pancakes.
22:09Pancakes.
22:12Pancakes.
22:21Oh, my God.
22:47Pancakes.
22:55Pancake?
23:03How is it?
23:06Epic.
23:15Because it was supposed to be the most ambitious thing, I was thinking, you know, the scale
23:19of ambition perhaps could have been better until the mouth came out.
23:23Just the fact that a wormhole appears, if I may call your mouth that.
23:31Was there so much of a narrative, Steve, in your mind?
23:33I was just trying to give, you know, man who's decided he wants pancakes and is conjuring
23:38them up somehow.
23:39I thought he seemed quite smug.
23:40Yeah.
23:41Yeah.
23:41The pancake guy.
23:43Well, that's just a bit of me coming through.
23:46Right.
23:47Break time.
23:48Close your eyes.
23:49Count to 180 and those nasty little adverts will have disappeared.
23:52Ready?
23:52Go!
24:02MUSIC PLAYS
24:03Hello, and a warm welcome back to part three of Taskmaster.
24:07We're in the middle of a task where they have to do some epic things.
24:10Yeah, man, while wearing green or blue onesies and using green or blue material.
24:15They can let their imaginations go wild with the endless possibilities of visual effects.
24:20For example, the team of two made pancakes.
24:24Now, it's the other team's turn to blow us away with their epic visuals.
24:27It's John, Joanne and Sophie.
24:30It's very dull being a Tudor queen.
24:33I just wish something exciting would happen.
24:37Oh.
24:38Oh.
24:39Oh.
24:39Lick me.
24:40You are.
24:41Lick.
24:41Lick me.
24:42I'm magic.
24:43You're magic?
24:44Oh, go on then.
24:47Ooh.
24:49Ooh.
24:51Ooh.
24:52Ooh.
24:54Ooh.
24:56Ooh.
24:56Floating clock.
25:00Ooh, God.
25:01Ooh, God.
25:02Ooh, God.
25:02Ooh, bloody hell.
25:03It's an armless mannequin.
25:04What time is it?
25:06Oh, God.
25:07I'm about to take flight, John.
25:10Can't see the thing.
25:11Ooh.
25:12Ooh, God, I am.
25:13I'm off.
25:13Ooh, blind me.
25:16Ooh, sorry, sorry, sorry, John.
25:19Fuckin' hell.
25:20Ooh.
25:21Ooh.
25:22Ooh.
25:22I might be able to fly.
25:24Ooh.
25:25Ooh.
25:26Ooh.
25:27I might be able to fly.
25:28Ooh.
25:28Ooh.
25:28I'm flying.
25:30Ooh.
25:30Oh, bloody Nora.
25:31Slow, slow.
25:32But good flight.
25:40Ah, the classic cry of the Tudor Queen.
25:44Bloody Nora, I'm flying.
25:48It's actually much better than I remember.
25:50Is it?
25:51Yeah.
25:52If you don't want to see the state of us on the day, it was carnage.
25:56Can I just tell you what I saw as a viewer?
25:59Right.
26:00A Tudor Queen.
26:02She licks a frog.
26:04Mm.
26:05Six unconnected objects float over her.
26:08Yeah.
26:09And she announces that she's going to fly off and she does.
26:11She tells John she's going to as well.
26:13Yes.
26:15Also, the unconnected items, I would argue they're not as unconnected as you've said.
26:19There's no need to take that withering tone with me.
26:22We've got two different peppers.
26:25A red pepper and a yellow pepper to symbolise heat and the sun.
26:33And then we've got the armless torso to represent...
26:38Toxic masculinity.
26:39Exactly.
26:46Is there any part of you, Steve, that thinks that yours was more epic than the team of three?
26:52Um...
26:53No.
26:53No.
26:54Yours was more ambitious, more epic.
26:57Ours was more...
26:59better.
26:59LAUGHTER
27:03APPLAUSE
27:03I'm going to score them both very highly because I enjoyed them both very much.
27:08I'm going to give the team of three one more point.
27:10I'll give them five points and I'll give the beautifully done but sedate pancake journey four points.
27:17There we go.
27:17Congratulations.
27:18APPLAUSE
27:23One more task, please, little Alex Horne.
27:25OK.
27:25And now it's time to get hot and sticky in the lab.
27:29Ooh.
27:41Oh, you again.
27:42Hi, John.
27:44Ah, OK.
27:45Yeah, I see what's going on here.
27:48Where is this?
27:49There's no task.
27:51What is this?
27:53Where is this?
27:54One thing I don't have...
27:57Jesus, you guys.
28:00LAUGHTER
28:02Magnus.
28:05LAUGHTER
28:05Stick the heaviest thing to the board using three of the ingredients on the shelves.
28:20Once you've chosen your ingredients, you may not change your mind.
28:24Heaviest thing that sticks to the board for at least one minute wins.
28:27Have you actually tested any of this, though?
28:29Am I elaborate again?
28:31You have 12 minutes and you must choose your thing in the first two minutes.
28:35So you're looking for the heaviest thing to stick to the board and it's got to stay there for a
28:40minute.
28:40And I've got to create some kind of...
28:44Unjuant.
28:45Is that a word?
28:46Sounds good.
28:47Your time starts now.
28:49I have two minutes to decide what thing...
28:51Out of anything in the whole world.
28:53But anything in the whole world?
28:55That you can get within two minutes.
28:56OK.
28:58This is science, basically.
29:00This is science?
29:01This is Elon Musk shit.
29:02It really is.
29:05APPLAUSE
29:11What do you say you want, Steven?
29:13An unjuant?
29:14Yes.
29:14I lost confidence in the word halfway through.
29:18Well, I asked Alex to look it up and it means a lubricant for sores.
29:22A lubricant for sores?
29:24Yeah.
29:25What did I mean?
29:26I don't know.
29:27Maybe you were chafing that day.
29:30Who are we going to see now, Alex?
29:32First up here is Sticky Steve, Stick Mohammed and Joanne McTacky.
29:37Here we go.
29:37LAUGHTER
29:40OK.
29:41I went for a big thing of water.
29:45I don't know which is heavier.
29:48There is a set of scales there, if that would help.
29:51Oh, shit!
29:52LAUGHTER
29:53Are we going with David?
29:55Yeah.
29:55OK.
29:5676 grams.
29:5816 grams.
30:0083.
30:01I'll go with the fish.
30:02I've never adhesed anything before.
30:04Never at all?
30:05No, it's my first time adhesing.
30:07OK.
30:07I'm going to go with Zeta tape with Velcro.
30:11Marmite.
30:12The classic.
30:13What's this?
30:14Can I use this?
30:15What is it?
30:15Silicon.
30:17Oh.
30:18I'm going to use those.
30:19Velcro.
30:20That.
30:21Styling gel.
30:22And silicon.
30:25Sell the tape shouldn't do it.
30:26Bowl of toffees.
30:28Blue tape.
30:30OK.
30:30So it's a toffee, blue tape.
30:32Sell the tape, yeah.
30:33Ah!
30:35LAUGHTER
30:37LAUGHTER
30:38OK.
30:38Here we go.
30:39OK.
30:40You've got five minutes, fifty.
30:41Ooh.
30:42That's satisfying, isn't it?
30:43There you go.
30:46OK.
30:47So, I mean...
30:48I...
30:51LAUGHTER
30:53There's only one bit of sellotape.
30:56That is...
30:56Ugh.
31:01Now, I don't know if this is allowed.
31:06But...
31:08Sort of put my...
31:13Sock...
31:13LAUGHTER
31:20It's not going to work.
31:24It's not going to do it on its own.
31:27LAUGHTER
31:28You buggers.
31:30Oh, come on!
31:31OK, actually, that's fine.
31:34I'm going to stick that there just...
31:36One sec.
31:37Pretty good.
31:42Oh, he's an awkward bugger.
31:44It's absolutely no good.
31:46LAUGHTER
31:47It's no good.
31:48I could use some of this.
31:54LAUGHTER
31:55Are you going to use me, my mind?
31:57I don't think it's necessary.
32:00Start the clock.
32:01OK, the clock has started.
32:03OK.
32:04It looks quite calm.
32:08Um...
32:09This is...
32:10This is great television.
32:1215 seconds gone.
32:14Oh, God.
32:16Does the sock even stick?
32:21There you go.
32:22Leave that for a minute.
32:23Yeah.
32:2445 seconds gone.
32:26I'm pleased.
32:28Ten.
32:29Never spent this long looking at a naked man before.
32:32I thought I'd nailed it, if I'm honest.
32:35LAUGHTER
32:37Joanne, it's now been there for a minute.
32:39You have succeeded.
32:40BUZZ
32:41And that's a minute.
32:43OK.
32:45So...
32:46I'll see if I can find you a new sock.
32:51One.
32:51BUZZ
32:52You've succeeded.
32:53Oh!
32:55Oh!
32:57Oh!
32:57Oh!
33:00So your technique would be, pick something relatively light.
33:04Yeah.
33:05And just smush it against the board with whatever.
33:07Yeah.
33:08Don't fuck with the system.
33:10Just get it done, get out.
33:12I could smell the lunch.
33:15LAUGHTER
33:16You relied on...
33:18Blu-Tack.
33:19Blu-Tack and a chewy toffee.
33:21And you think that gave extra stability to the statue of David?
33:24I think...
33:24Yeah, I think so.
33:25I think that, that bit of toffee, right in his crack...
33:28LAUGHTER
33:30..was the unjunct that he needed.
33:32LAUGHTER
33:34From time to time on this show, we start out watching an adult
33:38doing a task,
33:40and what we end up witnessing is a full breakdown.
33:43LAUGHTER
33:43You abandoned your idea with a water bottle,
33:45you used Velcro to attach a sock,
33:48which was not the intended object,
33:49and more pertinently, not a heavy object,
33:52and it didn't stick anyway.
33:54No.
33:55Then you smeared hair gel and silicone at the sides of it...
33:58LAUGHTER
33:58..and then that fell off.
34:00Now...
34:01LAUGHTER
34:02What...
34:02What part of that makes you think I'm mad?
34:05LAUGHTER
34:07I genuinely found myself feeling sorry for you, like...
34:10In a way that would have...
34:11..get me some points?
34:12No!
34:13Did he get it to stick for a while?
34:15Not the bottle, no.
34:16The bottle was...
34:17He chose the bottle, it didn't stick.
34:18I don't think he did the task.
34:20He didn't.
34:21Well, I imagine that Joanne's fish is as light as a feather.
34:25No, it's as light as four mice.
34:26I tell you, I lack ambition.
34:2886 grams, four mice.
34:29Steve's, 33 and a half mice.
34:31713 grams.
34:32Nice.
34:33One part left to go, and in it, someone will go home with a biggish calculator.
34:39Come on, we'll see you in a minute.
34:42APPLAUSE
34:52Hello!
34:53And welcome back.
34:55And to our Welsh viewers, also hello.
34:58LAUGHTER
34:59There's a task in the lab which still needs completion.
35:02Sticky Alex?
35:03Oh, yes, Greg, but that's what happens when Daddy forgets to talc me.
35:06T-t-t-t!
35:07LAUGHTER
35:09Coincidentally, the task in play is also a sticky one.
35:11Finally, Sophie and John take to the board.
35:14Have you chosen your item?
35:16I've chosen my item and I'm now questioning it a lot.
35:18It's a star that's coming off the wall.
35:21Great.
35:22OK.
35:22OK.
35:23OK.
35:23I'll select the thing.
35:24I'm going to go chopping board.
35:25That's a big star.
35:27Yeah.
35:27But...
35:28I think the trick is, something here, you see, could actually...
35:35Not gone well.
35:36Please don't hurt yourself.
35:37Not gone well.
35:38It's quite heavy.
35:39It's probably too heavy.
35:41Should have picked it up first.
35:43So we're starting with solotaping Velcro?
35:45Yep.
35:46OK.
35:46I think I went too big, didn't I?
35:48Well, it's massive.
35:49Yeah.
35:50I got greedy.
35:52Right.
35:53This is very silly, but I'm going to just try this,
35:55because I wonder if you put enough of these on,
35:58whether it actually holds.
36:00I didn't think I was a competitive person,
36:02but something's happened to me over the time I've been doing this
36:06and I fundamentally changed as a person, I think.
36:09LAUGHTER
36:13Right.
36:16Surprising, isn't it?
36:18Right, let's give this a go.
36:20It's an initial...
36:22An initial go.
36:27Start the clock, please.
36:28Start the clock, please.
36:29Start the clock, please.
36:31The clock's going.
36:34I've actually smashed the shit out of this.
36:37To be honest, we were all surprised.
36:39I wasn't expecting that.
36:42That is absolutely bloody fabulous.
36:47While that's happening, we're going to pick two more.
36:50Oh, but I haven't got any liquid.
36:52Son of a bitch!
36:55I'll just put some nice sweets around,
36:58for whoever might fancy one.
37:00That's lovely, isn't it?
37:02It is wonderful.
37:03We're just going to get the flour into honey.
37:06All right, we're going with flour, honey and blue tape.
37:10Oh, this might not be a bad idea, actually.
37:13This looks just like glue.
37:15There's engineers watching this going,
37:17he's absolutely nailed this.
37:20for centuries,
37:23humankind has been mixing.
37:25No, that's absolute crap.
37:29It has been up there for a minute now.
37:32That's fantastic, isn't it?
37:33See you later.
37:34Bye-bye.
37:36All right, it's a case of dotting the paste.
37:39I think what I'm doing here is making the chopping board heavier.
37:44Five, four, three, two, one.
37:49Please let go.
37:49Start the timer, please.
37:55How long have we got?
37:5520 seconds.
37:56Shit the bed!
37:57Shit the bed!
37:58Shit the bed!
38:08Well, you summed it up yourself, really, didn't you?
38:11Yeah.
38:11I've absolutely smashed the shit out of this.
38:13I think my intelligence may lie in manual labour.
38:19Structural integrity, I fucking knew.
38:22You're talking with the passion of a turn-of-the-century mill worker.
38:26LAUGHTER
38:27It was a very heavy start.
38:29It was 3.3 kilograms.
38:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:35John, I had such hope for you.
38:38At one point I thought,
38:39this man is going to be the face of Blu-Tack if people think this.
38:43I think I forgot you could pick anything in the world
38:46to stick to the whiteboard.
38:48Yeah.
38:48And I suddenly fixated on the stuff that was in front of me
38:51and solely the chopping board.
38:53And you used honey and flour to try and...
38:55LAUGHTER
38:56Well, after the Blu-Tack failed,
38:58he said,
38:58we're now entering the world of paste.
39:00LAUGHTER
39:02Let's give some points out.
39:04Nick and John both chose heavy things
39:06but didn't manage to stick them on.
39:07So it's zero points to John and Nick.
39:09Joanne, you get a full three points for your 85 grand fish.
39:12Keep it simple.
39:14Steve, four points.
39:15But Sophie's was four times heavier than his.
39:17Wow.
39:17And she gets the full five points!
39:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:23Let's see a scoreboard, shall we?
39:25OK.
39:25Well, Nick at the bottom, I'm afraid, with 11 points
39:28and Steve at the top with 18 points at the moment.
39:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:51What is the movie that your team-mate is saying?
39:54Your team-mate can only say the first three letters of each word
39:57of the movie title.
39:59Most movies in each round wins.
40:02One member of the team will go inside the movie booth
40:04and they'll pop their head through the little hole.
40:07I will show you some cards with movie titles in
40:09and they will also have the first three letters of each word.
40:12So if it said Jurassic Park, it will also say Jura-pa.
40:15And all you're allowed to say is Jura-pa.
40:17Jura-pa.
40:18Jura-pa.
40:19Three rounds.
40:20The team of two are going to go first.
40:21Nick, please enter the booth.
40:26OK, good luck, everyone.
40:28Your time starts when I reveal the first card.
40:31OK, OK.
40:31Good luck.
40:32And off we go.
40:33The nut pro.
40:35The nut...
40:35The nut...
40:35The nutty professor.
40:36The nut...
40:37Pulp fic.
40:38Pulp fiction.
40:40Oh.
40:41Bam...
40:42Bambi.
40:43Fi...
40:44Clue.
40:46Big clue.
40:48Big clue.
40:50Big clue.
40:51Clue.
40:52Big clue.
40:52Five clue.
40:53Five clue.
40:54Five clue too.
40:54Five club.
40:55Five club?
40:56Yes.
40:57The...
40:57The sum abo meur.
41:01The sum abo meur.
41:02There's something about...
41:03Yes, it's safe try
41:17They score the total of six movies
41:28Okay, good luck Sophie
41:44Goonies tight
41:49Titanic one one one one one Wonder Woman what what one one
41:56What women want
41:58Muru
42:00He
42:01Pete
42:04Shaorat
42:05Yes
42:06Seven
42:08The bald identity
42:11Yeah
42:14Oh
42:14Woo
42:18Only one classic
42:20These goodfellas
42:21Goodfellas
42:23That team scored a total of eight movies
42:25Wow
42:26Thank you
42:28I'm for a second to enter
42:30Thank you
42:36Steve your time starts now
42:39The mate
42:41Matrix Matrix
42:42The mum
42:43The mummy
42:44Brave
42:45Braveheart
42:46Don
42:47Don
42:48Don
42:49Don
42:49Don
42:49Don
42:51construction
42:52No doll
42:54Cup
42:54Million dollar baby
42:56Miss
42:57Mr. Incredible
42:59Miss
43:02In
43:03Mission impossible
43:07They scored six movies. There we are
43:28But beg
43:31That's big
43:33Batman big man, but
43:38Beck
43:40The ball
43:45Jim Jim on go
43:50Meet the power meet the parents the use sus
43:57Mrs. Dow
44:01We got eight
44:07Can I ask which cinema I can see Batman big man in
44:12Sold out can I say John Mungo somewhere
44:16We are gonna make it harder in round three, and I'm gonna say the last three letters of each movie
44:21Wow, yeah, Nick, please enter the booth for a second time. This is terrifying time starts
44:27Now Roy
44:29Rob Roy
44:31Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy
44:36That's
44:38Ron man
44:39Ron man
44:41Something wrong something man
44:42Ron man
44:43Something something iron man
44:44Yes
44:45Eid
44:48Eid
44:49Eid
44:50Eid
44:50Eid
44:51Speed
44:51Yes
44:52Old towel cat
44:55Old towel cat
44:56Old town market
44:57Oh no
44:59Old towel cat
45:00Ah
45:01Old towel cat
45:02Full metal jacket
45:04Yes
45:04Yes
45:09They got three they did not get Roy
45:11Roy
45:11It is Roy
45:12Oh
45:13How do you come next
45:14How do you come
45:14Do you want please enter the booth
45:16So it's three to beat if they do that it's a whitewash okay happy yeah
45:21You don't look comfy
45:23And then you've got a body normally
45:26It's a lot the face on its own
45:29It's the last three letters starting now
45:32Iron the iron ing the iron ing the shining no iron ing
45:40The pass round
45:44B
45:45B
45:46B
45:47B
45:48B
45:48B
45:48It's more difficult than speed
45:51Try that one for a laugh
45:52Erm
45:53That was a fake
45:55This is ing ing
45:57Oh kiss kiss bang
45:58Yeah
45:59They got one
46:00That was amazing
46:01That was a tough line
46:02Yeah
46:04The iron ing you will kick yourself
46:05Steve's got it
46:06The lion king
46:07The lion
46:07Lion king
46:08And barbie was B
46:09Oh
46:10Oh come on
46:12That means team three got two the team of two got one
46:17Come down and join me we'll have back to the final score
46:24Very tight game in the end 2-1
46:26Well they clawed one back
46:27Five points to the team of three
46:29Yes
46:30Three points to the others
46:31Which means
46:33Nick
46:33Yes
46:33You came last
46:35Tight at the top though
46:37Joanne
46:37A massive 20 points
46:39But the winner for a second week in a row is Steve with 21 points
46:41Oh my god
46:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:45He's running away with it
46:46Steve Padmerton wins
46:49Please head upside down to the stage
46:51And upturn your prizes
46:53And upturn your prizes
46:54GE conditioner
46:55APPLAUSE
47:18And upturn your prizes
47:21APPLAUSEúc
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