- 6 hours ago
Taskmaster - S16E07 - I'm Off to Find a Robin [Full Movie] [Vertical Drama]Full EP - Full
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00:34Hello!
00:36Thank you. Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38I'm Greg Davies and I'm a smorgasbord of tasks for you from a wondrous gang of loons.
00:43And if that's not enough, I've also got a second camera trained on me at all times.
00:47Felt cute. Might delete later.
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01:08Sinclair
01:08He told me that if he sees the pilot of any plane he boards is a woman he immediately leaves
01:15He believes and I quote that their concentration spans and motor skills are not suited to the job
01:28Hi there. Thank you for my introduction. You're welcome. Well, I do worry about these bits Greg
01:32I worry that sometimes they create an atmosphere that isn't
01:35Entirely pleasant or useful for the show. They do. I'm worried that I've created a rod for my own back
01:40Would you like to see it? Yeah
01:44I've created a rod for my
01:45I've created a rod for my own back and then I talked about this the rod set up
01:51So what's the punchline something about hook?
01:54Yeah, oh, I think I've got a bite. Oh, I think I've got a bite. It's fine. Yeah
02:03Botox
02:09No, but why would you ask because I just got in the light I can see how smooth it all
02:15is
02:15I'm younger than me
02:17I'm a lot like I know you're younger than me
02:20I know you're younger than me
02:21You had some fillers or something? No
02:23On we go with the price tag
02:27Oh
02:28Well, Greg, they've been asked to bring in the thing that is most guaranteed to make you groan
02:33Oh
02:35Oh dear
02:36I know
02:36The potential for some awful things is high
02:39The thing most guaranteed to make you groan in Greg's opinion gets the big five and the winners going to
02:43groan their way home with five groan worthy things
02:46Oh
02:46Oh
02:48I mean the chances of these not being sexual based on what I've seen from these people so far
02:54Are zero
02:55I'll be less surprised than I was when I found out Alex's dad
03:00Cosmetic surgery
03:03What thing have you brought in that makes you groan? Oh this thing is disgusting
03:07Let's have a look at it. It's a toothbrush
03:09Oh
03:11Oh
03:13That's against God
03:16There's a lot going on there isn't there?
03:18I mean I can barely look at this thing
03:19It's just don't you find that just really grotty?
03:22I think I'm grotty because I'm so bemused by you
03:28Thanks, Sam
03:29It's a serious thing
03:31It's a lesson in the importance of cartilage
03:37I've taken the form of this skeleton
03:40So it's pointing obviously to the areas that have cartilage
03:45Why is this supposed to make me groan?
03:47If you don't have cartilage you'll groan when you bend and lift
03:53And giving a gift to whoever wins to say
03:58Look after your cartilage
03:59Look after your cartilage
04:00And how do we look after our cartilage?
04:02I don't know
04:03I mean both of them have made me groan
04:08So I suppose yeah successful so far
04:11OK
04:11Hello Julian
04:12Hello
04:13What have you brought in that might make one groan?
04:16Oh it's so awful this
04:17Every year for my birthday my husband goes into a shop
04:21And asks them for the most hideous thing
04:23They've got on sale
04:25Right
04:26And this is what he got me a couple of years ago
04:28And I every time I look at it I groan
04:35It's so awful
04:36Someone said it looks like Alex without his beard
04:40I don't know he's got a normal width neck
04:43And it does make me groan every time I see it
04:45Which is quite often
04:46But you can't bring yourself to throw it away because you're
04:49This is the golden opportunity to pass it on
04:53Good
04:54Hello Sue
04:55Hello
04:55What have you brought in that might make a man or a woman groan?
04:58I thought what would be the best way to make everyone groan?
05:00And I thought well maybe if I asked an authority figure
05:03And so I asked the king of the birdmen and he said yes
05:07I've got a voice that could stun a goat from over a mile away
05:11And when I ask for a loud noise it gets done
05:16Just ask the winged birdman, Brian Blessed
05:20You groan like your life depends on it
05:23Come on come on
05:27Groan you feckless bastards
05:30No
05:33The full recording is on this memory stick
05:35You've really outdone yourself there Perkins
05:37That's amazing
05:37That is stupendous
05:39Susan
05:39Oh
05:41Traditionally
05:42This is not your strongest round
05:44No
05:44And you're following a recording of Brian Blessed
05:47I
05:48Good luck
05:48As Greg so kindly said
05:51I have been performing quite poorly when it comes to the prizes
05:55And here are a few of the shit prizes
06:00That's actually very good
06:01One big present to make you groan
06:05So if you collected these from the previous winners of the show
06:07Yes I have
06:08They're all so shit that all these guys actually gave them back to me
06:13That's very good
06:14Right
06:15I'm going to give out some quick points
06:17All right then
06:17Who is the least likely to make you groan?
06:19Well I'm not going to give anyone one point because I liked all of them
06:21So that's good isn't it?
06:22That's surprising
06:23I'm going to give Sam and Lucy two points
06:25And I'll tell you why
06:26It's because it was their explanation that made me groan
06:28Not the item
06:29Right, two points each
06:30Well done
06:30Yeah, that's good isn't it?
06:32Sorry
06:32I'm going to give
06:36I'm going to give Julian three points
06:38Ask me why
06:39Why are you going to give Julian three points?
06:40Because that thing's awful
06:41It does make me groan
06:42But the sentiment behind it is rather lovely I think
06:44Oh
06:45And so I'm sort of not giving him too many points to celebrate his wonderful marriage
06:49Oh
06:49There's a logic there somewhere
06:50Okay
06:51I'm going to give Susan because my god she's had a nightmare in this series
06:55I'm going to give her four points for her very clever idea of getting her shit prizes back
06:59And putting them all together
07:00And of course
07:01Brian Blessed will get the five points
07:03There we go
07:04It's five points to Sue Perkins
07:05Yeah
07:08Right, let's stop talking about cosmetic surgery
07:12And let the task in commence
07:15But be warned, it's a minefield out there Greg
07:29Hello
07:31Can I come in?
07:33Please do
07:34This looks fiendish
07:35Look at all these bells
07:37Ah
07:39That says don't on it
07:40But I do
07:42I want to
07:42I won't
07:44Okay
07:44Oh
07:45Piss it
07:46I know
07:48Right
07:48I found some little bits of paper that say vibration danger
07:53Big light
07:55Leaves
07:56Sound
07:57UV light
07:59Smoke
08:01Vibration
08:02It's going on summer's party
08:04Do whatever you like with these switches for five minutes
08:07Okay
08:08You will then do a task in the lab for five minutes
08:11All right
08:12The conditions in the lab will change according to when you switch the switches in here
08:17So there's a cause and effect situation
08:20The annoying thing is I don't know what the switches do
08:23I have told you what the switches do, it's all on those labels
08:25Your time starts when Alex is confident you understand the task
08:32Confident and Alex are two words one doesn't associate
08:37I wonder what the task is
08:38What do we put in there?
08:40Leaves
08:40Leaves
08:41Surely that's the main switch
08:42I expect danger is that one
08:44I don't know
08:46I don't think I trust you
08:48What's that one?
08:49I don't know what that one is
08:50So like with this what's the point of like trying to like
08:53Tch
08:54Well we will be
08:55I really think that piss it is an underrated
09:01Exclamation
09:01I really enjoy piss it
09:03It's lovely isn't it?
09:05It's nice it's harmless it's warm
09:09The task as far as I can work out before we get on a bit is it's largely arbitrary
09:13That they don't know which label goes with which switch
09:16Bit like giving a toy to a child and saying don't play with that for five minutes
09:18Yeah
09:19And probably they all did
09:20Let's crack on
09:21Yeah
09:22Okay get ready Greg
09:23Here they all are
09:24Flicking themselves silly
09:26Oh God
09:28I'm confident you understand the task
09:30Your time starts now
09:32Oh something a bit of leaves
09:35If I leave it under leaves keep coming
09:37Well it depends if it is leaves of course
09:38Of course
09:39Yeah
09:40I turn it off again then
09:41Right
09:41That one's already on so I don't even turn that one off
09:49I mean that's danger right there that nearly took my hand off
09:52Well it does say don't
09:53I mean lights
09:54They're not going to bother me are they?
09:56I'm going to give myself a bit of time once I'm in there just to muck around
10:07Blimey it's all happening
10:09This one?
10:10That one?
10:12All right now we're going to
10:14Oh no wait a second would you?
10:21It wasn't a very long rest
10:23No
10:24I'm going to have a bit of this one
10:26I don't what though?
10:27I don't like going upside down
10:30I don't like going upside down
10:30Spiders
10:31Hot dogs
10:32You know the ones in tins
10:34You know if you pull cotton wool apart
10:44Folk music
10:45I don't like ice cubes
10:49What if that's leaves?
10:51What if that's leaves?
10:51I've been denied the pleasure of leaves
10:5330 seconds
11:01Almost done there?
11:02Three seconds
11:08What if that's leaves?
11:14What if that's leaves?
11:28You seem a very intelligent man to me and yet you spent a long time flicking those switches on a
11:33knot
11:33Well there was nothing else to do
11:36There was no cheery chat from Alex
11:38No
11:38There never is
11:40Well Sam said
11:42I want to buy myself some time once I'm in there to muck around
11:47Yeah
11:47It is about that in a way
11:51You know when two samurai encounter
11:54This is real
11:55Yeah
11:55When they encounter each other
11:57Yeah
11:58Do you know what I mean?
11:59And the first one to move will often be slain
12:04And also a samurai can tell if he will defeat another samurai
12:07Just by watching them make a cup of tea
12:09Because they're like they see how effective they are
12:14I've moved
12:15I'm happy to be slain just to get out of this chat
12:19What's next Alex?
12:20Here are Sam and Susan and the results of their switching
12:31Oh my god
12:34So you've decided
12:35Oh my god
12:36Yeah
12:36You've decided the conditions for this task
12:38Yeah
12:39I'm scared
12:41What happens in here is all your fault
12:43OK
12:46Feet close together please
12:48Why?
12:48It's important
12:51That's not good for balance
12:52No
12:53Balance the most teas on the shelves
12:55So these are the teas
12:56Uh huh
12:56OK
12:57Oh you must stay on the platform throughout the task
13:00You have five minutes
13:02Your time starts when Alex is confident you understand the task
13:06Where are the golf teas?
13:08Here
13:08Where are the shelves?
13:09Here
13:10I'm going to start the clock now
13:14Absolutely terrified
13:24Do you like it?
13:30My method was kind of doing everything at once
13:33So I guess everything wild will happen
13:41Sam Campbell
13:43Sam Campbell
13:44Sam Campbell
13:46Sam Campbell
13:47Sam Campbell
13:48Sam Campbell
13:48Why is it saying my name?
13:49Well you switch the sound button on
13:50Sam Campbell
13:51No
13:52I can't work under these conditions
13:53Oh my God
13:56Oh my God
13:57Oh my God
14:01Sam Campbell
14:01Sam Campbell
14:03Sam Campbell
14:04Sam Campbell
14:05Sam Campbell
14:07No
14:07What time are we up to?
14:10You've got two minutes and fifty left
14:11Yeah
14:11No teas yet
14:17Can you remember what you did now in the
14:19Oh this is when I have a break?
14:20Yes
14:21Right fine
14:21Well then this is the most that I'm going to get on
14:24Oh yeah it was only like 30 seconds wasn't it?
14:2620
14:26Sam Campbell
14:29Sam Campbell
14:30I mean how is that falling off even through that
14:32Sam Campbell
14:33When you turned on the vibration switch
14:34Now I know I shouldn't have touched any of the bloody switches
14:37That's going to ruin it
14:42That's going to ruin it
14:46Oh yeah
14:50Sam Campbell
14:53Sam Campbell
14:54Sam Campbell
14:55Sam Campbell
14:55That was really tough
15:05I think that's pretty bloody good
15:11I think that being juggled around on a vibrating platform
15:15It sort of suits you
15:16Yes
15:17Does that make sense?
15:19You're not the first person to say that
15:23Well we saw just two
15:25But she did realise halfway through
15:26If she hadn't pressed any of the switches at all
15:28The conditions would have been perfect
15:29And that's sort of key to this really
15:31If they'd not flicked any switches
15:33Yeah just chilled out
15:34Sam actually did pretty well right?
15:37Well he created a method
15:37He did all of his flicking in a short period of time
15:39He did well despite that I'd say
15:41So he created a method of balancing the tees within a task
15:44Which was balancing on it
15:45And he also balanced a bowl on the bottom of the shell
15:47So I don't know if that counts
15:48I thought that creation was legit
15:51Oh?
15:52OK
15:52Well then he got sort of 87 I suppose
15:54Wait wait wait wait wait
15:55Really?
15:56Wow
15:56I know
15:57Yeah I guess I'll take 87 yeah
15:58Yeah
15:59Right join us after the break
16:01If I were you I'd leave that guff soaked sofa
16:03And get some fresh air for a few minutes
16:05Fart outside
16:06Live in it at all
16:18Hello! Hello!
16:20I'm afraid to say you've woken me from my power nap
16:23And I'm not a happy boy
16:24Chill out dude
16:26Before the break the cast were presented with some switches
16:29Fully aware that how and when and if they were switched
16:32Would directly affect the conditions of the next task
16:34Here is everyone else
16:37Your time starts now
16:40I'll start with a bit of leaves
16:50Immediately with the leaves
16:52Oh but see
16:53Oh it was leaves
16:54It was leaves
16:55It was leaves
16:56I need to
16:57Oops
16:59What do I say?
17:06Fucking hell sorry
17:08Please
17:09Please
17:12Oh for God's sake
17:14Sue Perkins
17:16Sue Perkins
17:17Sue Perkins
17:18Oh I don't want to listen to that
17:18Sue Perkins
17:19No I don't want to listen to that
17:20Sue Perkins
17:21Sue Perkins
17:23Sue Perkins
17:26Sue Perkins
17:30Yeah
17:31Sue Perkins
17:31Sue Perkins
17:31Sue Perkins
17:32Don't make me pause in the darkness into my own name
17:35Sue Perkins
17:37Don't like UV light very much
17:40My mum thinks it was because I was in an incubator
17:44To help me grow
17:48Sue Perkins
17:49Sue Perkins
17:50Sue Perkins
17:51Sue Perkins
17:52Sue Perkins
17:55Oh
17:58And we're done
17:59Can you stop me vibrating?
18:01Yeah
18:04Thank you Julian
18:05Thank you
18:07Goodbye Sue
18:07That sounded very final
18:09And after what I've done in this room
18:10I don't play
18:11I'm so sorry for everyone
18:20Did you enjoy that tufts Julian?
18:22I did quite
18:23I mean it was very sensory wasn't it with all the lights and the movement
18:26Yeah
18:27It was better than some I've sat through anyway
18:29There was a slight issue with Julian's which we didn't really show there but the vibration
18:33machine it wouldn't turn off afterwards so he was
18:35Remember you were on it for another minute after
18:38Get your thrills where you can at my age
18:41Sue
18:41You said in my opinion the greatest thing that's ever been said on this show
18:46Please don't make me fart in the dark listening to my own name
18:54Can I ask you about Sue's technique of balance?
18:57They're not balanced
18:57You poke them through the shelf
18:59I was really desperate at that point
19:01Yeah I know because the
19:04Yeah
19:05But is it more balanced than me just putting a bowl on the table?
19:08Yeah you did allow 87 from Sam
19:11Yeah
19:11In that bottle plunk on the bottom shelf
19:13Oh
19:14No I wasn't allowing that I was allowing
19:16Sorry there's been some confusion
19:18Ah
19:18I was allowing his system of hanging things
19:22Ah
19:22Sorry
19:23Now I feel really bad
19:24No
19:25No
19:25No
19:25Yeah you've really fucked Sam over there
19:27Yeah you're pretty good at sticking things into other places
19:30Yeah
19:30No one's into bags
19:32It's balanced man
19:33It's balanced man
19:34So we're saying that Sue didn't balance any teas
19:36I'm afraid we are because they were quite clearly pushed through the shelf
19:40That is very harsh but I accept it always
19:42I should also tell you then that Julian did manage to balance nine teas on his shelves
19:47WHISTLE BLOWS
19:48Lucy 19
19:50Wow
19:53What we haven't seen yet is the don't switch
19:56Danger did go with don't
19:57Should we see what the danger switch did?
19:59Yes please
20:00Okay good luck everyone
20:01Here we go
20:03I've spent however long just trying to avoid that button
20:06That's all I've thought about the moment I've walked in
20:09I mean I've been brought up well
20:11If something tells me not to touch it I'm not going to touch it
20:15Right I'm going to start the task now
20:20I can't say I wasn't warned
20:23Still got one minute 45
20:26Oh
20:27I'm going to go for this one
20:30How much danger can I endure? 10 seconds worth?
20:32Well you have now
20:3310 seconds left
20:365 seconds left
20:375 seconds left
20:41Do you want me to press the button?
20:43You can't now unfortunately
20:45Bush is guilty
20:48I'm going to go for this one
20:56Do you know I was 10 seconds away from avoiding my baby
20:58I'm going to chase her instincts
20:59And I failed
21:02Oh
21:06I really like it when you're disappointed in us
21:09Is that something wrong with me?
21:12Well we weren't to know that was going to happen
21:14We did say don't
21:15Yeah
21:17Heartbreaking but good news to old Lucy
21:19Yes
21:20I think she only didn't press it because she ran out of time
21:22She wanted to
21:23No I wasn't going to
21:24No
21:25Were you a well behaved child?
21:27I had to be
21:28Yeah
21:28Oh even me too
21:29My mum was incredibly violent
21:32LAUGHTER
21:35How does one not leave us?
21:37Well it means that no one gets any points
21:39They were all disqualified except for Lucy Byamon who gets 5 points
21:41CHEERING
21:44Let's have a look at the scoreboard can we?
21:46We can and unsurprisingly Lucy's in the lead with 7 points
21:49Well done Lucy
21:50CHEERING
21:53Let's have another one please
21:54Yes
21:54In your face Greg
22:09Sorry I didn't mean to kick the door sorry
22:12What larks
22:13Already this is my favourite
22:15Yeah me too
22:16I've always wanted to be a clown
22:18Mixed emotions
22:20Mainly joy
22:24Oh that's not edible
22:26Now fear
22:28Any sign of that secret task yet?
22:33Pie Wayne in the face
22:35Don't know who Wayne is
22:37Do you know many Waynes?
22:39Rooney
22:41Not him
22:42Wayne is outside the front door
22:43You may not touch Wayne
22:45Nor step on the red green
22:49The red green?
22:51Now what the hell is that?
22:53Well you know a green?
22:54Yeah
22:54I read one of them
22:55If you miss Wayne with a pie
22:57You must copy Wayne's dance moves for 10 seconds
23:01You must not touch Wayne
23:03Fastest wins
23:04Your time starts when you open the front door
23:07Who is Wayne?
23:08Do you know him?
23:09I don't know him well
23:11You can't touch any part of Wayne
23:12I need to make that clear
23:13I understand boundaries
23:15OK
23:16Are these top-ups?
23:17Yeah
23:17OK
23:19Not a lot of faith for me then is there?
23:21Do I take more than one pie?
23:23I'm not likely to miss him I might
23:30I'll start the clock as soon as you open the door
23:38Oh I see
23:40Are you Wayne?
23:43Are you Wayne?
23:48That's Wayne
23:49Oh yeah there he is
23:53In the face
23:55In the face
23:55In the face
24:14Do you think sometimes you've lost some of the innocent joy of childhood Julian?
24:19Because everybody else saw Wayne and went
24:21Oh, I started laughing and you went, oh, I see.
24:26I was like that as a child, I'm afraid.
24:30Nothing's changed.
24:32So, basically, they're going to be pie-ing one of those wavy-armed men
24:36from outside garages in the face.
24:38Not a great incentive to come back, is it, Alex?
24:40No, but I could sing my favourite hymn.
24:43Yes?
24:44Yeah, all right, that'll do.
24:46APPLAUSE
24:56Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,
25:03nought be all else to me, save that thou art...
25:09LAUGHTER
25:11APPLAUSE
25:12Welcome back to Taskmaster, it's part three,
25:15and I want to see wavy man Wayne get pie-ed in the face.
25:18Oh, I do too, Greg.
25:20LAUGHTER
25:22Remember, as is common practice on Taskmaster,
25:24they can't stand on the red-green,
25:26so let's begin with Susie and Susanna.
25:30So, Wayne's going to be operated by a switch,
25:32I've got to try and find the switch.
25:34That's part of him, that's his umbilical cord.
25:37Oh, so I can't...
25:39MUSIC PLAYS
25:47That's not his face.
25:51You must dance.
25:53AHHHHH!
25:54MUSIC PLAYS
25:59MUSIC PLAYS
26:00MUSIC PLAYS
26:02MUSIC PLAYS
26:03MUSIC PLAYS
26:04That's ten seconds!
26:06That's ten seconds.
26:07Be careful.
26:08Lovely.
26:09Thank you, Sue.
26:14OK!
26:17Mummy!
26:18Ooh!
26:18Ooh!
26:19Ooh!
26:20Ah!
26:23Sue!
26:26MUSIC PLAYS
26:27MUSIC PLAYS
26:31Thank you, Sue!
26:33MUSIC PLAYS
26:33Wayne's my favourite.
26:35MUSIC PLAYS
26:35Come on, you little shit!
26:37MUSIC PLAYS
26:37pod
26:38GUN6
26:38GUN7
26:41Sir?
26:42Oh, Christ.
26:46MUSIC PLAYS
26:51GUN7
26:51MUSIC PLAYS
26:52GUN7
26:53GUN7
26:53GUN7
26:53GUN7
26:54Say anything now.
26:55GUN7
26:57I've basically did this to throw the other.
26:58OKAY!
26:59Yeah, that's ten seconds.
27:00GUN7
27:01GUN7
27:02Why did you have to pick this one after lunch?
27:05GUN7
27:06GUN7
27:12I
27:13Stop
27:13Where is his umbilicus
27:32The naughty flamingos gonna touch him naughty flamingos
27:42I
27:43Fucker
27:46Come on naughty flamingo
27:47You've won my tarts on top of the film
27:53Pin him
27:57Take it
27:59Let's go for corn tree
28:01APPLAUSE
28:05It felt like it was a bit of a grudge for you in the end
28:07Yeah I mean
28:09Take it you little fucker
28:12Yeah
28:12There's only so much expressive dance I can do and I don't have the training
28:15Susan's got training
28:16She's got you know the depth of experience
28:18She understands the biomechanics of the human form and art in general
28:21I was just very very frustrated
28:23And then blind and then the naughty flamingos spared my blood
28:27I like to see that sort of lateral flinking
28:29The naughty flamingo was allowed to touch Wayne
28:31Yes yes the flamingo could touch Wayne
28:33Yeah and did
28:35And did
28:35Now Susan's told us repeatedly that she trained for three years at Radha
28:40And I put it to you Susan that you weren't even attempting to pie Wayne for most of it
28:44You were just enjoying the interpretive dance
28:47Yeah
28:47Yeah and that's
28:48I just was so
28:49Like as you say
28:50When I saw him it was so glorious
28:52And I'd sort of forgot the point of it
28:55Yeah
28:56But I had a good time
28:56But the final pieing was
28:58Well it caught us by surprise
28:59It caught me by surprise
29:01Yeah
29:01Three awful throws
29:02Got nowhere near
29:03The fourth right in the face
29:04Only took her a minute thirty-nine
29:09And what a great old grudge match over there
29:11Naughty flamingo ladies
29:12Yeah
29:12Uh seven minutes twenty-five
29:14Wow
29:15A little bit longer
29:16Who's next?
29:17Okay we've seen the Su's
29:18Now for Julian, Sam, Lucy and Wayne again
29:25Julian
29:26That's not his face
29:28Now you have to dance on the dancing mat
29:37That's lovely Julian
29:42Are you okay?
29:45Oh
29:45What are you looking for?
29:46Something to get Wayne down
29:53Is that on his face?
29:55No, afraid not
30:03That's lovely Julian
30:04I'll go get another pie
30:06Okay
30:11I bought this from home
30:12Can I try and Lizzou him?
30:19Now you have to dance Julian
30:25My enthusiasm for the dancing
30:27Yeah
30:28Has rained as it were
30:29It has rained
30:50Pretty close!
31:01Can you hold the other end of that
31:02To trap him?
31:03To trap what?
31:04I'll do what I'm told
31:07Oh
31:08No, no, no
31:09Stop!
31:09Get this way
31:13I got him
31:14Surely
31:15Surely
31:16Surely
31:16I got him
31:17I got him
31:18I got him
31:19I got him
31:20Big time
31:20Yep
31:33That's not my problem, is it?
31:38There you are
31:39I've stopped the clock
31:39Thank you
31:51Wait, don't touch me Wayne
31:56I've stopped the clock
32:00Wow
32:01Got him. I got Wayne
32:07Julian your pride technique was dreadful, but I thought you were a very graceful dancer. Oh, thank you. You're welcome
32:15Anything else to say?
32:18I thought the most dramatic thing we were gonna see in those attempts was some
32:24Shouting I got him big time
32:27He had it too good for too long
32:30What turned out to be the most dramatic thing was Julian Clary taking Wayne down with a swing ball? Yeah
32:37Lucy, did you think the task was touch Wayne as much as you can?
32:43As well, yeah
32:45Big time with your hands
32:52You did touch Wayne and even if you didn't there was one other rule which you may have broken as
32:56well
32:56Wow, you weren't allowed to touch the red green of course. We always know that this is what happened
33:12Well over oh, no, why are you zooming in on people's feet?
33:21I'm gonna disqualify them, but I also agree with them you are sick
33:27Three of them very similar times Lucy actually three minutes 25 right as relevant as that is. Yeah, Julian
33:34332 Sam three minutes 40 so what that means is that Sue and
33:39Lucy don't get any points
33:46He's smiling, but he's hurting the reason you can't see he's hurting
33:57He does you do look like you have had to yeah, you look as smooth as fiberglass
34:04He's right you know look a canoe right
34:08Sam you get three points Julian four but five points goes to Susan McCormick
34:16Okay, and now time for some product placement
34:32There's a bee out there
34:34There's a bee out there
34:35Yeah
34:35Okay
34:39Sorry, shouldn't have come in too big should I?
34:43Perkins
34:44Horne
34:48Oh God
34:52Oh look, it's me
34:54You both look great
35:04She's pretty
35:06She's pretty
35:08Clans
35:11Oh, it's me with my eyes shut
35:13Oh, I do all my pictures like this
35:16I should have, I never told you, did I?
35:22Thank you
35:25Put yourself somewhere within
35:28Put yourself somewhere within the
35:30She's putting me off
35:32Put yourself
35:36If that started walking away
35:40Put yourself somewhere within the boundary
35:44Put yourself somewhere within the boundary
35:47That's what my therapist says
35:49The person furthest from everyone else wins
35:51The people closest together both lose two points
35:55Also throughout the task
35:57You must behave really weirdly
36:00You must behave
36:02Really weirdly
36:04Really weirdly?
36:05Weirdly
36:06Weirdly
36:08You have to tell me twice
36:10You've got a maximum of ten minutes
36:12Your time starts now
36:15So you've just got to think
36:16Where would Sue Perkins put Sue Perkins?
36:19Well, there's no way of knowing, is there?
36:21No, no there isn't
36:26I think that some tasks are unfairly stacked in favour of some contestants
36:30I mean, I don't want to pick on people but I have written down
36:32That throughout this, sometimes, Lucy and Sam have come across as
36:37Well, I've written absolutely deranged
36:40LAUGHTER
36:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:46That's another part complete
36:48If you want to see someone
36:49Forced to take home Susan's prizes for a second time
36:53Then by all means, please join us again for part four by...
36:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:08Hello, welcome back to the final part of the show
37:11Yes, and welcome to those who aren't watching Taskmaster 2
37:14That's absolutely fine
37:15It's about time we found out where the five competitors placed the cut-outs of themselves
37:20The person furthest from everyone else wins
37:21But the two people closest together each lose two points
37:25Yowch!
37:26Here's what they did
37:28Behave weirdly
37:29Shall I behave like you?
37:31Yes, please
37:33Ah
37:34LAUGHTER
38:00I don't think anyone would be as obvious as...
38:03I don't think anyone would be as obvious as this
38:04LAUGHTER
38:10There's an argument for just popping myself
38:15Just there
38:16Oddly, oddly, oddly, oddly, oddly, oddly, oddly...
38:23Where do you think Sue Perkins is going to put herself?
38:27Erm, there
38:28Sam Campbell?
38:29Erm, there
38:31Susan Wacoma?
38:33Erm, there
38:34And Julian Clary
38:36There
38:38That's quite near your one
38:39Yeah
38:40Why have you put it so close to Julian Clary?
38:42I fucking... I didn't know at the time
38:45Can I move it again?
38:47Well, you've still got eight minutes
38:49OK
38:57Ole, ole, ole
39:00So I said I'd tear his head off
39:03Is that me then?
39:05Like, what makes you you?
39:06Well, this...
39:07Is it where your head is?
39:07Or your heart?
39:08Or your...
39:09It'll be a discussion
39:12To be honest, for some people this isn't weird, this is exercise
39:15That's fine
39:15That's me at the both ways it gets
39:24I'm off fishing now
39:27So is it me that likes fishing in this scenario?
39:29Don't you like fishing?
39:31Or bird watching?
39:32Yes, please
39:32I think it was something boring
39:34Right
39:36We'll have to find a robin
39:38So where do you think Julian Clary's gonna put himself?
39:41Probably got bad hair on me
39:42Sam Campbell?
39:44They're gonna be doing this
39:45They're gonna be like, woo!
39:45Woo!
39:48Oh!
39:48Ole, ole, ole, ole
39:50I think it's now not near anybody
39:56Oh!
39:58Could do that
39:59But will that be far enough away?
40:05OK
40:06Something about the boundary line
40:08Right
40:09Right
40:10On the horns
40:10By the boundary line
40:12Do I have a coin on you?
40:14Then the coin toss it
40:19Thanks, Sam
40:20Heads for that deer's head
40:22Tails for
40:23On the boundary line
40:30Julian displays a continual
40:34And to me
40:35Delightful contempt for Alex
40:37And this is the Zenith, I think
40:39Doing an insulting impression of him
40:41Can I see it again?
40:43Yes
40:45Nothing I can do to help you
40:47Is that enough?
40:49That was before his surgery
40:56It's a really creditable impression
40:58Thank you, it just came over me
41:00He's irritating, isn't he?
41:02What we need to know is
41:03What the coin decided for Sue, of course
41:05Yeah
41:06Before we do, I'll appraise you for a very creditable Chewbacca impression
41:09Thank you
41:11OK, so we're going to find out if Sue is near the tossed head
41:15This is it
41:16On the deer
41:16This is the cliffhanger
41:18Yeah
41:18It's all about the toss
41:19Here we go
41:21Heads for that deer's head
41:22Tails for
41:23On the boundary line
41:30Thank you, Sue
41:30Thank you
41:31Thank you
41:32Thank you
41:47Thank you
41:48Thank you
42:01Thank you
42:01I'm just grateful
42:01I don't think I was disqualified in that round
42:03You weren't
42:04But you don't get any points
42:05Because the distances from one another
42:08We can see it here
42:09Sam was 14.24 metres away from everyone
42:12Lucy, second, 13
42:13Julian, third
42:15Sue, fourth
42:15Susan, fifth
42:16But Julian and Susan both lose two points
42:18So it ends up being one point to Susan
42:20None to Sue
42:20One to Julian
42:21Four to Lucy
42:22And five points to Sam Campbell
42:24Thank you
42:25Thank you
42:25Thank you
42:27I think that's a very satisfactory outcome
42:29And it's progress, Sue, in a way
42:31Because you've been disqualified for two
42:32Yeah
42:32But at least you've got no points this time
42:35Let's have a glance at the scores
42:36It's tight except for Sue
42:38Lucy, you're still in the lead with 11 points
42:40CHEERING
42:44OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show
42:56Who will be reading the task? Sue Perkins
42:59Catch three balls on your head
43:02After you've caught a ball you must shout
43:05Ball
43:06You may not step off your circles, move your circles, adjust your arms
43:12Or touch the balls with your hands
43:15The fastest wins
43:16Can we co-operate?
43:18I guess we'll find out
43:21LAUGHTER
43:21Good luck
43:23On your marks
43:24Get set
43:24And they're off
43:26APPLAUSE
43:27Well, they're immediately
43:29Ball
43:30Ball
43:33Ball
43:36Ball
43:37Ball
43:38Ball
43:38Ball
43:38Ball
43:38Ball
43:39Ball
43:39Ball
43:39Ball
43:40Ball
43:41Ball
43:41Ball
43:41Ball
43:43Ball
43:44Ball
43:45Ball
43:45Ball
43:46Ball
43:46Ball
43:47Ball
43:47Ball
43:47Ball
43:49Ball
43:49Ball
43:49Ball
43:50Ball
43:50Ball
44:00Ball
44:01Ball
44:01Ball
44:03Ball
44:03Ball
44:03Oh! Susan, you're done. You're finished.
44:06Oh, am I?
44:07It's just you, sir.
44:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:15It's never a very good sport.
44:17And, Mum, there's one... Hang on.
44:19There's one coming... Incoming.
44:20This is a... This is a... This is a baseball ball.
44:23Say ball! Say ball against ball!
44:25And then say it one more time. Oh.
44:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:29Come down, we'll go back to the final straws. Come and join me.
44:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:36That was exciting. Mm.
44:38Not for the first time, the group confounded us by working together.
44:41They did.
44:41One to Sue, two to Susan, three to Lucy, four to Sam, five to Julian Clary.
44:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:49So, that's a fake of things in many ways.
44:51We have three people in the 90s now, in terms of the series.
44:53Susan, you are in last place on 92.
44:56Lovely. Sue, 95. Lucy, 99.
44:58Then jump up to Julian on 108.
45:00Sam's in the lead on 120.
45:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:06Incredible. Yes.
45:07What's the final scoreboard for today?
45:08Well, it's a tight one.
45:10Sue, stranded on six.
45:12The rest, it goes 12, 13, 14, 14.
45:14Lucy and Sam, joint winners!
45:16Yay!
45:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:19So, we have a tie-break situation.
45:21Yes, tie-breaks are very serious matters and we're going to settle this one
45:24right here on the studio floor.
45:26Ooh!
45:27In my drawer, I have two party poppers.
45:30Oh, I don't like them.
45:32LAUGHTER
45:32What are you going to do?
45:33Sam and Lucy will fire their party poppers from their seated positions
45:36and the person who fires the contents of their party popper furthest wins.
45:39Simple as that.
45:39We're all out of budget.
45:41LAUGHTER
45:42Lucy, you ready?
45:43Three.
45:45Two.
45:46One.
45:47Pop.
45:47Set.
45:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:50I believe this is yours for taking.
45:52Wow.
45:54You're going to have to measure this.
45:59Thank you, sir.
46:02Can you infer this pin?
46:05108 centimetres.
46:08123 centimetres!
46:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:13Lucy Beaumont-Ringes!
46:15Please go and gather your gifts and groans!
46:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:20I hate that.
46:23So, what have we learnt today?
46:26We've learnt that in a thousand years, when the people of the future
46:28look back and somehow try to understand how our society worked,
46:32what were we all about?
46:34There is one thing alone that they will be sure of.
46:36Show them a picture of Sue Perkins and they'll all go,
46:39oh, yeah, that's the lady who didn't like farting in the dark
46:42to the sound of her own name.
46:44LAUGHTER
46:44Only three episodes to go,
46:46so let's appreciate tonight's winner once more...
46:49..it's Lucy Beaumont!
46:50APPLAUSE
46:53APPLAUSE
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46:59..
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47:05..
47:05..
47:06..
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47:14..
47:15..
47:17..
47:18..
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