- 8 hours ago
Outcome (2026) [Full Movie] [Latest Version]Full EP - Full
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00:00:26To be continued...
00:00:42a little treat for you tonight my first guest is a young man and when i say young man i
00:00:46mean
00:00:46a young man he's landed the lead role in an nbc pilot and he won that audition with a song
00:00:51and
00:00:51dance routine and we thought he did it so well that you might like to meet him tonight would
00:00:54you welcome reef hawk
00:00:56you might reach us to broadway remember me to hero square
00:01:13get along the gang in 42nd street then i will soon be there
00:01:21whisper a poem yearning to mingle with the old time throng
00:01:30give my regards to old broadway and tell them i'll be there alone
00:01:39so
00:02:10Give my regards to old Broadway and tell them I'll be there, yeah, I'll be there, yeah, I'll be there
00:02:21alone.
00:02:48I'll be there, yeah, I'll be there, yeah.
00:02:52You've had five years off to reflect.
00:02:55Is that what you're going to say, reflect?
00:02:58I mean, how are you going to frame the five years thing?
00:03:00Also, I should literally be a famous-ass interviewer.
00:03:04Even when I'm fake interviewing, I'm, like, incredible at it.
00:03:07Incredible.
00:03:08So what are you going to say about the five years thing?
00:03:11Well, I was thinking I was going to say I've been working since I was six and needed a break
00:03:18and that I needed to find out who I was away from all this.
00:03:23I love that.
00:03:24That works, totally.
00:03:25I won't say that I was hiding a heroin addiction from the public
00:03:31and that my best friends from high school and my insane lawyer helped me cover it up for years.
00:03:37So no one ever found out.
00:03:39That is a really smart amish.
00:03:40Strong amish.
00:03:41No ad-mish.
00:03:42You're going to be amazing, babe.
00:03:44You got this.
00:03:44Yeah.
00:03:44I'm very lucky to have you, too.
00:03:46Mm-hmm.
00:03:47And thank you both for being here and thank you for helping me.
00:03:50Yeah, babe.
00:03:52Now get out there and tap dance for Mommy.
00:03:55Yeah, that was jazz dance.
00:03:56That's it.
00:03:58Two minutes.
00:03:58All right, look, before we get started, I just got to say,
00:04:00this is a career highlight for me.
00:04:03You, Tom Cruise, Denzel, you're my favorite actors of all time.
00:04:08Thanks.
00:04:08So, look, first we're going to start off with the box office records and, uh, what?
00:04:13Do you mind?
00:04:14I don't know if anyone talked to you, but, um...
00:04:17Oh, my God.
00:04:19Oh, my God.
00:04:19Oh, no.
00:04:20He's asking about the Oscars.
00:04:21I know.
00:04:22I can tell.
00:04:23When you introduce me, would you mind not forgetting to say two-time Oscar winner before
00:04:29you say Reeve Hawk?
00:04:31Look, of course.
00:04:31I was planning on doing that anyway.
00:04:33I thought it was something serious.
00:04:34Of course, man.
00:04:34Yeah, I mean, I would never even say it.
00:04:37It's just that sometimes people forget.
00:04:41Who forgets?
00:04:42You are the most beloved movie star in the world.
00:04:47Yeah.
00:04:47I'm just honored to have you on the show.
00:04:48This is going to be a cakewalk for you.
00:04:49Oh, thanks, man.
00:04:51Hi.
00:04:52How are you?
00:04:53We're Reeve's best friends from high school, but, like, we have our own lives, too.
00:04:58We're just here supporting you.
00:05:00Listen, you are so fucking charming.
00:05:03Yeah.
00:05:04Enough of that.
00:05:05I don't want to fan out too much.
00:05:06You ready?
00:05:07Yeah, let's go for it.
00:05:08All right, let's go for it.
00:05:08All right.
00:05:09Let's try one.
00:05:09We'll get one going.
00:05:10All right, here we go.
00:05:11Three, two, one.
00:05:13Tonight, I'm interviewing somebody I never thought I would interview.
00:05:17I'm talking about a legend, an icon.
00:05:20What is there even to say?
00:05:21Reeve Hawk is in the house.
00:05:24Welcome.
00:05:25Oh, wait.
00:05:26Sorry, I messed up.
00:05:27I left out the Oscar part.
00:05:28I'm sorry.
00:05:29Guys, you got to do it again.
00:05:30Sorry about that.
00:05:31No, we're leaving this in.
00:05:32No, no, no, no.
00:05:33No, we are not starting over.
00:05:35People at home need to see this.
00:05:37Let me tell you right now, if I'm ever the kind of out-of-touch jerk who needs to restart
00:05:42an intro because you didn't mention an award,
00:05:47brother, we got way bigger problems.
00:05:51My man.
00:05:51My man.
00:05:52That's why the world loves you, man.
00:05:54The real Reeve Hawk.
00:05:55That's amazing.
00:05:56Reeve Hawk.
00:05:57Are you ready?
00:05:58We're already starting.
00:06:00Yes, we are.
00:06:03We got to go.
00:06:04Babe, babe.
00:06:05I know you love mopping with the crew, but we're going to hit crazy traffic if we don't get out
00:06:09of here.
00:06:09What's mopping?
00:06:10M.O.P.
00:06:12Man of the Peopling.
00:06:14It's actually pretty fucking funny.
00:06:16Thanks.
00:06:16Yeah, we should get going.
00:06:18Can I talk to you guys for a second?
00:06:20Hey, guys.
00:06:21Thanks so much.
00:06:22Bye.
00:06:23Did anyone else see the silver fox eye fucking me?
00:06:26I am so serious.
00:06:28It was so blatant.
00:06:28And out in the open, I almost want to, like, write an opera.
00:06:30It's not bad, but I like that.
00:06:32Reeve.
00:06:32Reeve, Reeve, Reeve.
00:06:34What are you doing?
00:06:35Well, we don't know those guys.
00:06:38They could literally go online and say that I was, like, being fake or mopping or whatever insult you just
00:06:43said.
00:06:43And then people will think that I'm like that.
00:06:47Okay.
00:06:47Reeve.
00:06:49So?
00:06:50That would be like a fucking disaster.
00:06:53Reeve, chill out.
00:06:54Yeah.
00:06:54Dude.
00:06:55Dude.
00:06:55Take a deep breath, okay?
00:06:59It's just...
00:07:00It's just that...
00:07:06It's just that you're always being watched these days and observed.
00:07:10Yeah.
00:07:10Everywhere.
00:07:12Yeah.
00:07:12Yeah, yeah.
00:07:13It's really weird.
00:07:14It's really weird.
00:07:15Okay, bubby.
00:07:15Okay.
00:07:18It's okay.
00:07:19Yeah.
00:07:20Lookit, this was, like, a really stressful situation for you, so just take a deep breath.
00:07:25We're all good.
00:07:26I'm sorry, okay?
00:07:27I was just being dumb and trying to be funny and...
00:07:29No, I'm sorry.
00:07:31No, please.
00:07:31A lot of anxiety today.
00:07:33Of course.
00:07:33Yeah.
00:07:34My bad.
00:07:35You don't have to...
00:07:36No, come on.
00:07:37Come on.
00:07:37Oh, you love us.
00:07:39I love you guys.
00:07:41I love you.
00:07:42By the way, you were amazing.
00:07:44Oh, my gosh.
00:07:44You got everything in you.
00:07:45He is a fan.
00:07:46Yeah?
00:07:47Oh.
00:07:54Oh, my God.
00:08:00Hello?
00:08:01Bubby, it's Ira.
00:08:02We got a big fucking problem.
00:08:03It's fucked up.
00:08:04It's really fucked up.
00:08:04It's a total fucking nightmare.
00:08:06I'll be over at 10.30 a.m. tomorrow.
00:08:08I'll have my assistant text your assistant, my breakfast order.
00:08:10Beg her not to fuck it up for me.
00:08:17Do I have shit on my face?
00:08:19Yes.
00:08:20I do?
00:08:20Yes.
00:08:21Oh, my God.
00:08:22It's fucking embarrassing.
00:08:23Ira, tell me what the fuck is going on.
00:08:26Here's your video.
00:08:27Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
00:08:29What's on it?
00:08:29I have no idea.
00:08:30I thought you buried everything that needed to be buried without it getting out to the public.
00:08:35When I got sober five years ago, I changed my life.
00:08:38And thank God you did.
00:08:40Since you've been out of the game, everything's changed.
00:08:42For the record, you are the goat.
00:08:43The true goat, Bubby.
00:08:44You are the best to ever do it.
00:08:46I swear to God, I hate to say it, but it's nice to be back on the fucking court with
00:08:50you.
00:08:51We used to be out here in these streets smashing fucking concrete, getting our hands dirty.
00:08:55Hollywood was our goddamn glory hole.
00:08:57These kids today, they don't know how we used to do it.
00:08:59You, me, Rourke, little Chucky Sheen, Stephen Hawking, you know, the original Pussy Posse?
00:09:04You boys kept me busy, didn't you?
00:09:06Can't you just make this go away like you always used to?
00:09:09I can't, Bubby.
00:09:10The internet changed everything.
00:09:11I know I panicked, and we used to get this shit wrapped up with a briefcase of cash in a
00:09:15day or two.
00:09:15It ain't like that anymore.
00:09:18You can text me or call me 24 hours a day, just like the old days, except for Tuesdays from
00:09:243 p.m. until about 10 p.m.
00:09:26What's on Tuesdays?
00:09:27Personal shit, don't worry about it.
00:09:30Oh.
00:09:30What?
00:09:31Huh.
00:09:33Are you okay?
00:09:35Do I have to be in here?
00:09:37Can I just wait until you're done?
00:09:39Bubby, I'm on a massive time crunch.
00:09:41By the way, I love this gay wallpaper.
00:09:44Thanks, Sandra bought all the art in the house.
00:09:46Very colorful, very gay and classy.
00:09:49Look, Bubby, there are some steps we can take in the meantime while we're waiting this out.
00:09:53But I need you to be completely honest with me.
00:09:55There are no more secrets between us.
00:09:57Look into my eyes.
00:09:58Do not break eye contact with me, Bubby.
00:10:01Have you ever killed someone?
00:10:02No, Ira, I've never killed someone.
00:10:04I can't wipe my ass with this.
00:10:06This is performative.
00:10:07I'm a good person, environmental toilet paper.
00:10:09What's your assistant's name?
00:10:11Sammy.
00:10:11Sammy?
00:10:12Yeah?
00:10:13Come in here.
00:10:13Can you go into the master and bring the toilet paper here?
00:10:17The good toilet paper.
00:10:18The good toilet paper.
00:10:19Yeah.
00:10:20And, Bubby, just real quick, it's primary, not master.
00:10:22What thread count is it?
00:10:23Sorry.
00:10:24I don't know, Ira.
00:10:25It's Scott from the store.
00:10:27Toss it.
00:10:28Let me see.
00:10:29Jesus Christ.
00:10:30Smells like, um, like earring backs in here.
00:10:34Yes, that means you're healthy.
00:10:38What the fuck?
00:10:40Cover your mouth.
00:10:40It's disgusting.
00:10:41You get germs.
00:10:42I'm sorry.
00:10:42Besides the health stuff, it's so rude.
00:10:45I'm sorry.
00:10:45Aside from me getting sick, it's rude.
00:10:48Because those particles fly into my nose and mouth.
00:10:51Do you can send me?
00:10:51Actually, this is fucked up to say I kind of like this.
00:10:54Turn around, Bubby.
00:10:55Eye contact.
00:10:56Come closer.
00:10:57Have you ever killed someone?
00:10:59No, Ira.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01Bubby, I'm not a judgy person.
00:11:03I'm more of a you-do-you, I'm a go-ahead-and-do-me, girl.
00:11:07Ira!
00:11:09I have never killed someone!
00:11:13For real!
00:11:17You're making me uncomfortable with your anger.
00:11:21And I think that's something we should look at.
00:11:25You can have at the scraps.
00:11:28I'm sorry, what?
00:11:29You can have at the scraps.
00:11:31That's really nice of you, Ira.
00:11:33You know, she's actually great.
00:11:35Yeah.
00:11:35I like her.
00:11:36Next.
00:11:37Have you ever watched anyone be killed?
00:11:38No, Ira.
00:11:38Have you ever paid someone to kill someone?
00:11:40No.
00:11:40Have you ever fucked a dead person?
00:11:41No.
00:11:41Has a dead person ever fucked you?
00:11:42No!
00:11:44How does that even work?
00:11:45Let's just say it starts with Mel Gibson and a whole lot of paupers and ends two decks
00:11:48over with a 10 a.m.
00:11:49Nate and Mel's breakfast.
00:11:50You do the math, gorgeous.
00:11:51Just to be clear, you're saying how a corpse fucks a human being is that Mel Gibson takes paupers.
00:11:58You're saying that.
00:11:59You're saying that.
00:12:00I would never betray a client like that, and I'm offended you would even suggest it.
00:12:03I would lose my license to practice law in the state of California if I did.
00:12:07But just between us, it's pretty fucked up, actually.
00:12:10They partied with the guy like he was alive all weekend.
00:12:12They actually made a cute little picture about it.
00:12:14Weekend at Bernie's?
00:12:15Yes, Weekend at Bernie's, Bubby.
00:12:17You're hysterical.
00:12:20You've gotten funnier.
00:12:22I need to know everyone who hates you.
00:12:25Uh, who hates me?
00:12:27Fuck.
00:12:30My first manager from when I was a kid, probably.
00:12:34Good, right.
00:12:35The guy who represents kid actors and works out of the bowling alley.
00:12:37Who else?
00:12:39My old on-and-off ex-girlfriend, Savannah.
00:12:43Okay, and?
00:12:45Who else?
00:12:47That's it.
00:12:51Who hates him?
00:12:53Uh, what?
00:12:55Who hates him?
00:12:56Well, off the top of my head, your old manager, your old trainer, your new trainer, your old pool guy,
00:13:03your old old pool guys, your mom.
00:13:05Oh, me too.
00:13:06Uh, those three shelter dogs that you got when you were lonely and then returned when you realized, like, they
00:13:11don't wipe their own asses, and I sure as fuck wasn't gonna do it.
00:13:13Um, your old boxing coach, your old tennis instructor, your ex.
00:13:17And I have, like, a separate list for, like, directors, actors, costume designers, hair and makeup people, craft service, whatever,
00:13:21da-da-da-da-da, like, executives that you've worked with if you want me to start on that.
00:13:24Jesus Christ.
00:13:25Sorry.
00:13:26Hey, can I just say something?
00:13:28My old trainer doesn't hate me.
00:13:31Because he passed away.
00:13:34Okay.
00:13:35I'm just saying.
00:13:36Mm-hmm.
00:13:37Hey.
00:13:38I believe you, pal. I really do. That's, that's awesome.
00:13:42You need to go see these people and apologize to them. Make it right with them. And without them realizing
00:13:48it, feel out if they're the ones behind the video.
00:13:50I don't know if I can do that, Ira. That's way too intense.
00:13:54Bubby, you don't have to mean it. You just have to go through the motions of apologizing to save your
00:13:58ass.
00:13:59All right, Bubby, I gotta get going. Tom Hanks body slammed his housekeeper. It's not as bad as it sounds.
00:14:04They were just roughhousing, but she's in her 70s. Shouldn't be horsing around like that.
00:14:08So I should get over to Cedars and make sure shit's kosher. By the way, incredible crushed ice at Cedars.
00:14:12I'll let you know if I hear anything.
00:14:44My assistant said all of these people don't like me. Was I an asshole?
00:14:54Do you want to take longer to answer that?
00:14:58Just the people you interacted with.
00:15:00Not like fans and stuff.
00:15:01I think there maybe was a time where your success did go to your head. And maybe you weren't like
00:15:06super considerate about how you spoke to people.
00:15:09And now you're very aware. But up until like a few years ago, you could kind of get away with
00:15:14being a secret dick.
00:15:15We've known each other for 40 years. We've been there and supported one another. We have always known the person
00:15:21that was in there.
00:15:22Yeah, and go easy on yourself. You were literally on drugs. It's way easier to support you now that you're
00:15:28sober.
00:15:28At least we don't have to come grab you out of that creepy doll store you used to buy heroin
00:15:33at downtown.
00:15:35You know how many empty, naked baby dolls I had to explain to the housekeeper?
00:15:39I had to look up in Spanish. Don't worry, Maria. It's no for sexual. It's for drug.
00:15:44By the way, zero parking at the heroin doll store downtown.
00:15:50Yeah.
00:15:54It got bad.
00:15:56It got really scary.
00:15:59I don't ever want to see that look in your eye again.
00:16:04You never will.
00:16:06So let's do what Ira says.
00:16:08Make the apologies and find out who's extorting you.
00:16:11He always gets you out of this stuff.
00:16:13It's going to be so fun.
00:16:14I'm already putting together a playlist for the Apologies slash Who's Extorting Reef tour.
00:16:18Hey, Siri, whip me up a playlist for a middle-aged man in extreme state of crisis.
00:16:24But keep it fun and slutty.
00:16:25Come on.
00:16:26And skinny.
00:16:27Come on.
00:16:29Yeah.
00:16:31Come on.
00:16:34Yeah.
00:16:36Come on.
00:16:40Come on.
00:16:41Oh-oh.
00:16:44If the party's where you're acting, shut up.
00:16:47Don't you trip when you see us in the club.
00:16:49i will say i kind of hate extortion but the upside is that we all get to drive around together
00:16:54like
00:16:54the dumb sluts we used to be in high school and i am obsessed with that part of extortion beyond
00:17:00what i really enjoy about it is that we get to be here with you and guess what else i
00:17:05brought with
00:17:06me oh are we gonna smoke we're not gonna smoke we're 120 okay we're gonna fake smoke i cannot
00:17:15believe kids vape these days they are so gay they're so lame if i saw a kid vaping i'd literally
00:17:22run over to him and push him over and be like nice look virgin
00:17:29they're literally an oral fedora i haven't seen this guy in like 30 years and now i'm gonna be
00:17:34late to apologize and i'm gonna look like even more of an i've always said it's not an amends
00:17:41unless you power top it just get in there and just dumb it out man i love outlandish humor with
00:17:47my
00:17:47friends you know kid i found this guy reef over at oakwoods same as you and i signed him at
00:17:57this
00:17:57booth same as you right here at this brief can't wait to work with you i know our schedules will
00:18:05line up one of these days can you imagine them letting us two silverbacks pound our chest in the
00:18:10same cage i'd sit down and order salad i've got a 4 30 call back for that valtrex commercial valtrex
00:18:15yeah i'm ready for the grandson of the woman who has gentle to herpes it's actually quite a complex
00:18:20character i love that is ellen casting it yep i'm such a sweet girl i know she is and we
00:18:25love her
00:18:25oh fuck me i'm late beautiful day guys okay hey knock them dead will you always will and will do
00:18:40quit cigs 16 days now sorry that's awesome red red rodriguez manager to the stars always bet on red
00:18:51baby yeah still out here hustling
00:19:01red
00:19:04i came here to apologize to you
00:19:09can i ask you something reef of course
00:19:15what are you sorry for i'm really sorry i fired you
00:19:27you know i remember when i met you by the pool and you had no front teeth you know it
00:19:34was so
00:19:34fucking adorable you were really there for me at that time i was i was but you had this fucking
00:19:45light in
00:19:45you you'd light up my days and i'm just talking about the work the work was always bring it but
00:19:51you
00:19:53they started getting jobs
00:19:57and there he is
00:20:00there he is
00:20:02and i was fucking proud i gotta tell you not just because i'm a manager but you know
00:20:07it was almost as if it was me in a way i was so proud then you start running around
00:20:15in hollywood
00:20:15and you're getting some big parts of movies you're hitting the clubs you're getting some
00:20:19pussy i'm getting nervous not just cause i don't want you to get in trouble for your career
00:20:25but i'm worried about you getting trouble for you
00:20:29and i hear things i mean weed and all that i know okay but i hear the hardest stuff
00:20:36the hardest stuff and um i didn't know how to handle it you know i did the best i could
00:20:43at that time
00:20:45i wanted to smack the out of you but i still worked gene really honestly i didn't know my role
00:20:51was
00:20:53you know in that whole thing i just didn't know
00:20:58maybe i handled it right maybe i did the right thing
00:21:04maybe i didn't
00:21:07i really don't know i don't know what's right or wrong in this situation
00:21:12anyway look i didn't expect you to stay i didn't expect that i know i know i'm a joke to
00:21:17you guys
00:21:18now the bowling alley the roulette wheel i know who the i am i know what the i am which
00:21:25is
00:21:26i'm the guy you leave if i do my job right okay i know that it's all right
00:21:36i loved all you crazy little cocksuckers i really did but you were different you see you were different
00:21:42you were like you were like family to me yeah
00:21:52yeah
00:21:55and you know what gets me is that not one of you guys ever picked up the phone
00:22:01not one every time with you guys the last time we spoke was the last time we spoke
00:22:09i mean all i ever wanted was to pick up the phone and hear hey red
00:22:21could have called me
00:22:27i don't have your number
00:22:50i just want to see i'm a big fan
00:22:53thank you i appreciate that yeah mate you're right back and hook
00:22:58you're back in serious there was a period where i did not speak to myself for three
00:23:02years 11 years ago in sydney i chucked it in the dumper because she was on the blog aside from
00:23:08my
00:23:09feelings on the film technically it's astonishing honestly mate i feel like you chucked it in my
00:23:14it's like you know what's going on in the middle of the film
00:23:22hey pal excuse me yo hey i don't want to interrupt you i never do this i'm a big fan
00:23:28i'm not here to
00:23:28blow you up or bug you i just want to tell you i'm running this for a while i wanted
00:23:33to introduce myself
00:23:36brief yeah i know i know i'm buddy i'm everybody's buddy
00:23:42we're having some people over today if we make noise some rap music or something just tell me
00:23:46we got tons of food gonna have some celebs cool awesome
00:23:50hi the mclaren's taking up both spots and ud's pulling up from nobu i'll take care of it honey
00:23:55get off your feet you gotta lay down how many cigarettes did dr crane say i could smoke while
00:23:59pregnant again oh he said zero oh hey i know you you dated my grandma
00:24:05yeah that's reef nice to meet you queef
00:24:12fucking shit dude having my first kid well congrats i'm like a kid having a kid
00:24:19but i'm under 60. that's what they call a malibu teen dad
00:24:24huh you got kids no oh yeah i read that
00:24:30fuck you're lucky dude just get to party 24 7 i gotta deal with this shit
00:24:37anyway all love homie have a good one i always do and i will do
00:24:46man's search for meaning it's like the most lit holocaust book my therapist gave me this one after
00:24:52my parents divorce and like in a way the divorce was my family's personal holocaust you know like
00:24:58the mistress was hitler my mom was like jesse jackson that black guy that won that medal because he ran
00:25:05really fast jesse owens jesse owens and i was like and frank you know because i was like hiding from
00:25:12my shame this book taught me like not to hide anymore and i don't think you should either so i'm
00:25:17giving
00:25:17this to you it would be good for you excuse me oh yeah i'm gonna give you some privacy
00:25:24ira what's happening fuck bubby i'm so glad i caught you holy what is it did you see a pair
00:25:28of
00:25:28sunglasses after i left your house i'm like fucked up looking for them they're chanel ira are you
00:25:32fucking kidding me no no i know i never splurge like that ira you scared the shit out of me
00:25:37i
00:25:37thought something had leaked or something fucked it happened with the video oh shit did something
00:25:41happen i'm asking you are you fucking serious okay i'm fucking with you but for real though
00:25:46shit is not going well i got nothing on my side you got to keep apologizing to people all right
00:25:51okay bubby sorry if i sound distracted i'm getting an iv trip right now i'm also doing couples therapy and
00:25:56playing chess i'll call you back when i hear something
00:26:02so do you like want me to pretend that i don't know what's going on to like make things easier
00:26:08for you or or what let me think on it i may just want to pretend things are not insane
00:26:15with
00:26:15one person in my life sure hey what extortion
00:26:22thanks sammy it's been so long mom
00:26:29it has
00:26:33i have a lot to uh
00:26:37apologize to you for
00:26:39for starters i was often very rude about you participating in this kind of entertainment
00:26:50i'm sorry for that
00:26:58can we try that one more time on the label wasn't cheated towards camera and that was such a great
00:27:03fucking emotional moment i'm so fucking touched genuinely i just have to be sure it's usable because
00:27:08my content partners need it sometimes you gotta tickle their balls so mommy can get her beak wet
00:27:14my son may be a star but i'm a whole damn planet
00:27:21this is so triggering and fucked up for so many reasons i can't even begin to tell you
00:27:27didn't you come here to apologize to me yeah and you'd only receive the apology if we did it on
00:27:33the
00:27:33show which makes my skin crawl that you're even on in the first place okay we'll get to that in
00:27:38one
00:27:38second you pretentious little but for starters you showed up didn't you you're a little truffle
00:27:45sipping fame piggy just like mommy i wanted to please you i became famous to please you i supported
00:27:52your career day in and day out for nine years of my life i wanted a parent not a business
00:27:59collaborator
00:28:00when you were a little kid you begged me every day to be on tv begged me i'm talking tantrums
00:28:07days
00:28:08long tantrums fits making scenes screaming carrying on i didn't know what to do i was 25 and you were
00:28:16six so i moved us across the country away from your father my husband away from my parents my support
00:28:25system into a shitty little month to month in the valley so i could take you to auditions every day
00:28:33you were my focus your father left us not just you he left me too i sacrificed my marriage
00:28:43who were you sacrificing anything for when you were 25 reef but then something amazing happened
00:28:52your fucking dreams came true and i went from being a little nobody in the middle of nowhere to suddenly
00:28:59my son singing and dancing on the tonight show you became a big famous actor you got everything you ever
00:29:08wanted mom i was a kid
00:29:16kids don't know what they want kids want to be astronauts yeah and some of them actually do become
00:29:25astronauts the ones whose dreams are supported by their mothers mom i felt used and exploited
00:29:31you stopped seeing me when i got on this show you stopped talking to me your fucking mother
00:29:52you're right
00:29:57i'm sorry
00:30:00that's not okay
00:30:07can we take that from after you're right but before sorry that's not okay i want to get a
00:30:13different reaction on my side jesus christ christ you see what you even take a moment like that and
00:30:22make it for the show you make it for show i was actually feeling in that moment i didn't say
00:30:30anything
00:30:30about your take i bought it your delivery was very strong i just wanted one where i cry and one
00:30:37where i
00:30:38don't on my side so the editor will have options what even is an apology reef is it for you
00:30:45is it for me
00:30:48isn't an apology just a show also this was such a fucked idea you are such a scorched unit not
00:30:57everything is one thing reef yes i want to be great on the show but i mean everything that was
00:31:03in this
00:31:03conversation just because the cameras are rolling doesn't mean it's not real just because it's
00:31:09performative doesn't mean that it's not the truth why can't it be both oh you and i see things
00:31:16so fucking differently reef i've accepted that i hope you can too one day i'm not trying to change
00:31:25you so don't try and change me
00:31:36kyle your abstinence dog is out here do you want me to let him in or do you a favor
00:31:42put it down so
00:31:43someone will date you just put it under the window over there guys thanks i should not be lifting
00:31:49this couch right now i have been so nauseous today oh babe maybe you're pregnant is that unhoused
00:31:56gentleman outside of general nutrition that you've been romantically intertwined with not been using
00:32:00contraception babe yeah i'm as at risk of getting pregnant as you are because you're old yeah that's
00:32:09the meaning of that bit okay just making sure you understood the math of it oh you know i i
00:32:13got it
00:32:14thanks and reef like i know you can't handle any of the housewife stuff but like your mom is so
00:32:20fucking major and iconic like what was she wearing i need details babe lay off the mom stuff okay even
00:32:26though we're all dying to know what she was wearing no it's okay but it's not her it's not her
00:32:37okay
00:32:55hello be in my office one hour i got the fucking dream team assembled for you baby one hour be
00:33:01here
00:33:06dearly beloved we're gathered here today because i have assembled the greatest group ever to protect
00:33:11our boy reef hawk and bathe him in the waters of our combined genius nothing prince whatever reef i
00:33:21would now like to introduce you to your new crisis team or as i call them the rover rover reef
00:33:27unit
00:33:30didn't land okay tough room i will start with one of the greatest to ever do it one of the
00:33:36world's
00:33:36most renowned lawyers the most legendary advocate for women whose rights have been violated illegal
00:33:44reaches wide and long and my man you know she doesn't mind not i rise ladies and gentlemen virginia
00:33:54allen i've been green reef reef it's nice to meet you don't you represent women who are victims of
00:34:03terrible men not if i hire her first i'm not i didn't like oh i know oh we know bobby
00:34:09we know i
00:34:10wouldn't have accepted this if i thought this was a me too type of thing what if it is it's
00:34:17not we know i
00:34:18know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i of course know but
00:34:24if it is you're gonna want
00:34:26virginia here bobby speaking of i would now like to introduce you to the third in our three tenors of
00:34:32naughtiness ladies and gentlemen the sultan of social justice the rabbi of race relations
00:34:44he bringing sexy back to the civil rights movement ira he's been preaching since the same street and
00:34:52boys is so tired the reverend leandris carter shut the fuck up ira oh you're still sore about last
00:35:01time we worked together yeah because you completely ruined the entire thing and embarrassed the
00:35:05shit out of me and my client here we go again did you follow the jesse smollett thing uh the
00:35:09two racist
00:35:10guys beat up the black actor and ended up being set up by him leon and i came up with
00:35:15that at
00:35:15lunch one day it's a killer idea we pitched it around town and jesse was the most passionate about
00:35:19the project sometimes these things are reverse engineered where the idea comes before the talent
00:35:23you know like when a movie studio has a franchise but they don't have a star attached then tell them
00:35:27what happened to ira you're such a hypocrite leon you're one of my best friends i love you more than
00:35:30life itself but you're a hypocrite you're always on me about hiring more black people so i hired two
00:35:35black guys to beat up jesse this is me growing with elegance and all of a sudden i'm the asshole
00:35:41you hired two black guys to play white supremacists to commit a hate crime against a black guy
00:35:45you stupid motherfucker it's impossible to keep up hire black guys don't hire black guys make up your
00:35:49mind i shouldn't have to explain this one you're acting like i didn't even post a black square
00:35:54a couple years ago you saw that i storied it it wasn't on my permanent grid but i storied the
00:35:59black
00:35:59black square i obviously know who you are and i'm a fan reverend but why is he on our team
00:36:07oh i pray
00:36:09to god you didn't say the word on that video what no i would never oh we know we know
00:36:16i know he knows
00:36:18we know of course we know we know brother but if you did i will smack the livid shit out
00:36:25of you and
00:36:27then we're gonna hold hands and walk through the fire together my brother i'm not a racist reef while
00:36:35we totally believe you aren't racist we do know for a fact you have done racist things which is very
00:36:42common except in your position is incredibly dangerous i'm eunice kim i'm a lawyer and activist
00:36:49i'm here because i famously started the hashtag stop imitating asian people i did by the way we
00:36:55noticed thank you for doing no thank you brief do you recall a scene from a jesus i hate to
00:37:01call it a
00:37:01film a thing you were in called titty school six let's get tit-tarded in here an 80s low-budget
00:37:09teen comedy ira buried when you got famous we think someone may have found it do you recall a
00:37:15scene from this film in which your character israel boner shark scene is tasked with breaking into the
00:37:21girl's sorority to steal their bras and panties and in order to pull off this caper you as your
00:37:26character dress up as a geisha to sneak into the sorority we think someone may be framing the scene
00:37:31in a modern context to use it to cancel you for being racist against asian people it was a scene
00:37:37in a
00:37:38stupid movie it wasn't me it was a character in a movie doesn't matter hey wait where's motion from
00:37:43the anti-semitism committee we ran the numbers it turns out that hating jews doesn't negatively affect
00:37:48a person's career in fact it could even help like that sounds like a freako acid trip so you go
00:37:56through
00:37:56every hypothetical fucked up thing you may have ever done in your entire life yeah if we broke down my
00:38:01text in my dry cleaner on tuesday i'd never work again i mean it felt like fire against my skin
00:38:06the whole
00:38:06entire time i hate that you're being put through this i i just hate it when you're sad you know
00:38:12i
00:38:12was thinking about when you got clean how you never did aa or any other program like that because you
00:38:18were just like so worried that people were gonna recognize you and out that you had a problem and
00:38:23how that would you know affect your image of course but a big part of all that is doing the
00:38:29steps right
00:38:30apologizing to the people you hurt maybe this whole thing is like the universe's way of
00:38:36making sure that you apologize to the people that were hurt by your addiction you know
00:38:43i'm sure there's a lot of people that would appreciate an apology from you
00:38:48right sander yeah sure
00:39:02you're right
00:39:07fuck this is hard
00:39:13i need to apologize
00:39:20to savannah
00:39:27yeah
00:39:29i'm gonna try and get back before dinner but thank you thanks
00:39:38you
00:39:38what the actual
00:39:39fuck dude i don't even know what i said it was like
00:39:44why did i
00:39:45i
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00:41:43i
00:41:47pulled it off
00:41:48photo finish
00:41:50don't worry they're not yours
00:41:52that's not funny
00:41:54oh gary
00:41:55do they have your
00:41:57sense of humor
00:41:59they're smarter than me
00:42:01let's hope they make better choices
00:42:12I'm really sorry I let you down.
00:42:24Uh, how do I put this the right way?
00:42:27I want to use the correct verbiage here and not mince words.
00:42:36You're not a good person.
00:42:45I wasted years of my life on you.
00:42:48With you.
00:42:50And about you, because it's always about you, Reef.
00:42:57Let me guess, Xander and Kyle haven't been this honest with you about your behavior in these conversations.
00:43:06I never had a problem lying to you or for you.
00:43:11Yeah, you don't stick around long with this kind of realness, do you, Reef?
00:43:17Don't be mad, I know.
00:43:20But I'm not around anymore.
00:43:23Thank God.
00:43:28Because after the last thing.
00:43:34The last thing that happened.
00:43:40It took finally allowing a good and devoted man to love me to realize that I'm not just a distraction
00:43:49to run to and toy with when you're...
00:43:55When you're depressed or lonely or between movies or...
00:44:03Literally bored.
00:44:06Only to discard when something amazing would happen.
00:44:11No, you're not.
00:44:13No, you're not.
00:44:13Correct.
00:44:25I used to think that telling you all this would make me happy.
00:44:33It doesn't...
00:44:36My family makes me happy.
00:44:40My...
00:44:41My children make me happy.
00:45:03Ira!
00:45:04Buffy, I need you to come straight back to my office.
00:45:06I got us a call with the guy.
00:45:07He's ready to negotiate.
00:45:08Same seats.
00:45:10Shit, I gotta run.
00:45:11Adam Driver bought a pet champ and it ripped somebody's face off at the mall.
00:45:13They're cute when you buy them, but then it's like...
00:45:15Wait, Ira.
00:45:30Ira, we have him on the line.
00:45:32All right, this is it.
00:45:32At your stations.
00:45:33Okay?
00:45:34Put them through.
00:45:36Hey, Ira.
00:45:36Yo, how's things?
00:45:37All good over here.
00:45:39Just in the office solo, doing a million things.
00:45:41Oh, yeah.
00:45:42By the sound of that speaker phone and the cavernous echo in the conference room, I can tell it's just
00:45:46you in there.
00:45:47Fuck you.
00:45:47What do you got?
00:45:48I'm assuming Virginia and Leandrus and the crew are all in there with you.
00:45:52Hello, all.
00:45:53Nope.
00:45:53Wrong again.
00:45:54Okay, Ira.
00:45:56Hey, by the way, I want to say, Reef, if you're there too, which pretty positive that you are, I
00:46:02should legally disclose that I'm your neighbor who's been renting a house next to you for the past few months.
00:46:07What the fuck?
00:46:11Legally disclose.
00:46:12Since when you're a stickler for the law?
00:46:14All right, well, you know, not legally, but like homie to homie.
00:46:17I thought I should tell you that it felt fucked up not to.
00:46:20All right, so what do we got here?
00:46:22Okay, as you know, I can't reveal much, but I have procured a video from a person who wishes to
00:46:27sell it to the highest bidding media outlet.
00:46:30I would like to offer Reef the opportunity to buy it first.
00:46:33How fucking generous of you.
00:46:36All I can tell you about the video is this.
00:46:47He comes.
00:46:54The price is 15 million.
00:46:56The deadline is Tuesday at 10 a.m.
00:46:59Peace.
00:47:03He comes.
00:47:11He comes.
00:47:13He comes.
00:47:16He comes.
00:47:18He comes.
00:47:27He comes.
00:47:31He comes.
00:47:32I accept that.
00:47:33I do.
00:47:34I accept it.
00:47:39But who says coming is bad, right?
00:47:42I'm in sex positive.
00:47:44Cum makes babies.
00:47:46Babies grow up to be doctors.
00:47:48Doctors heal us when we're ailing.
00:47:49technically is right.
00:47:50You know who's made out of cum?
00:47:52She is.
00:47:53I'm not made out of cum.
00:47:55Absolutely are.
00:47:56Even Reeve Hawke.
00:47:57Dramatic pause.
00:47:59Not an A-idle.
00:48:00Handprints in the
00:48:01groundman Chinese sidewalk.
00:48:04100% completely cum-based.
00:48:06I believe in the profundity
00:48:09of this argument.
00:48:11This young lady here,
00:48:13cum.
00:48:15That felt wrong
00:48:16even as I was saying it.
00:48:17But I urge you,
00:48:19to hear me when I say this.
00:48:21None of us
00:48:21in this room
00:48:23would be here without cum.
00:48:26Am I wrong?
00:48:30Applause.
00:48:31If you want.
00:48:33If you want.
00:48:34If you want.
00:48:39No!
00:48:40Whoa, whoa, Bubby.
00:48:40You don't understand, Ira.
00:48:42You don't understand.
00:48:43I've been so fucking careful!
00:48:45Hey, you're okay.
00:48:46I've never filmed myself.
00:48:47I've never been filmed
00:48:48with anyone.
00:48:49I've been so fucking careful!
00:48:52Why is this happening to me?
00:49:01What did you just say?
00:49:06Why is this happening to me?
00:49:08No, before that.
00:49:13I've been so fucking careful.
00:49:15Before that.
00:49:17I've never filmed myself.
00:49:19And I've never been filmed
00:49:21with anyone.
00:49:28What?
00:49:32What is it?
00:49:34You were filmed
00:49:35without your consent.
00:49:40It was non-consensual.
00:49:43Virginia,
00:49:44do you want to explain this?
00:49:45I'd love to.
00:49:46Reef,
00:49:46have you ever heard
00:49:47of victim capitalism?
00:49:51No.
00:49:52When you were growing up,
00:49:52you wanted to be an actor.
00:49:54You wanted to be
00:49:54a gifted artist,
00:49:56and that, in turn,
00:49:57would bring you
00:49:57riches and fame.
00:49:58You were part of the
00:49:59recognition for talent
00:50:01generation.
00:50:02But people got tired
00:50:03of having to work hard
00:50:04and actually be good
00:50:05at something.
00:50:05I do all that work.
00:50:07It's exhausting.
00:50:07And the odds are so terribly
00:50:09low of succeeding.
00:50:10So,
00:50:11here come the Kardashians.
00:50:13The Big Bang
00:50:14happened.
00:50:15The tension
00:50:16culture.
00:50:17And it
00:50:18is
00:50:19huge.
00:50:20Now you don't have
00:50:21to do anything special
00:50:22to be famous.
00:50:22You just have to be.
00:50:23You just have to make
00:50:25enough noise
00:50:25to garner the attention.
00:50:27Any kind of noise,
00:50:28any kind of attention.
00:50:30And this brings us
00:50:31to the birth
00:50:31of social media.
00:50:33Now anyone with a phone
00:50:34can have it at the push
00:50:35of a button.
00:50:36That sweet,
00:50:37sweet nectar
00:50:38of attention.
00:50:39And then,
00:50:40it was ignited.
00:50:42The spark.
00:50:45Victimhood.
00:50:46The only way
00:50:47you can become
00:50:48rich and famous
00:50:49in this culture
00:50:51is to be a victim.
00:50:53Victim capitalism.
00:50:54The best thing
00:50:55you can be
00:50:55in our modern society
00:50:56is a victim.
00:50:56And you,
00:50:58Reif Huck,
00:50:58are a white,
00:51:00middle-aged,
00:51:01rich,
00:51:02famous,
00:51:02straight movie star
00:51:04who is,
00:51:05indeed,
00:51:07a victim.
00:51:08You're a fucking
00:51:08unicorn.
00:51:09This is going to be
00:51:10the biggest year
00:51:10of your whole career.
00:51:11I mean,
00:51:11you're going to be
00:51:12a bigger star
00:51:12than ever.
00:51:13You know what
00:51:13we have to do,
00:51:14right?
00:51:14We got one move.
00:51:16Live interview.
00:51:18That's right.
00:51:18Live interview
00:51:19cuts him off
00:51:20at the knees.
00:51:20Talking about the video
00:51:21before they have a chance
00:51:22to leak it
00:51:23makes you the victim
00:51:24and gives us
00:51:25all the leverage.
00:51:28God,
00:51:28where are they?
00:51:31We're going to be
00:51:31fucking late.
00:51:34Everything okay?
00:51:35Yeah, yeah.
00:51:37I'm just running
00:51:37a little late
00:51:38and it's one day a week
00:51:39I've got to be out
00:51:39by a certain time.
00:51:48Hey,
00:51:48I know that was a lot.
00:51:51Stay with it tonight.
00:51:54Digest it.
00:52:00Ira,
00:52:03you have a really
00:52:04weird job.
00:52:08It's like
00:52:09you just
00:52:10wait for a call
00:52:12that I got in trouble.
00:52:23Bubby,
00:52:24you ever think about
00:52:27why you thought
00:52:27it was okay
00:52:28to get in the
00:52:29kind of trouble
00:52:30you got in
00:52:31for as long
00:52:31as you did?
00:52:35Everybody's a psycho
00:52:36when they're young.
00:52:37I hit myself
00:52:38at number one.
00:52:42but for everybody
00:52:43else in the world,
00:52:44all these people,
00:52:47they can't act
00:52:47like that forever.
00:52:51I had real life
00:52:53hit me like
00:52:53a fucking train.
00:52:57But when my phone
00:52:58rings and it's you,
00:52:59I pick up.
00:53:01I always pick up.
00:53:07There he is.
00:53:09Hey, hey.
00:53:10Sorry, Ira.
00:53:12We hit crazy traffic.
00:53:14No worries.
00:53:15I like babies.
00:53:15So bad.
00:53:16Traffic?
00:53:16Come on.
00:53:16Crazy?
00:53:17Buddy.
00:53:18There he is,
00:53:19my boy.
00:53:20Oh, my God.
00:53:20What, are you too old
00:53:21to kiss your dad?
00:53:22Oh, come on.
00:53:23When you were a baby,
00:53:24I used to kiss your face.
00:53:25Ah, I still see you
00:53:27as this little,
00:53:28fat little,
00:53:29chunky little guy.
00:53:30Dad, I hate being
00:53:31late for the Dodgers.
00:53:32Yeah, no,
00:53:32I hate being late.
00:53:33I'm sorry, buddy.
00:53:34But we got to listen
00:53:34to Britney Spears'
00:53:35audio book,
00:53:36and let me just say,
00:53:38she lived a
00:53:40very wild life.
00:53:42She's the best.
00:53:42She sang at your
00:53:43mom and I's wedding.
00:53:44Mm-hmm.
00:53:44Hey, you know
00:53:45who this guy is?
00:53:46Reef Hawk?
00:53:47That's right.
00:53:49OG client of your dads.
00:53:51I always wanted you guys
00:53:52to meet each other,
00:53:53but Reef is always
00:53:54very busy.
00:53:55So, Reef,
00:53:56do you have a girlfriend?
00:53:58This guy with the girlfriend.
00:53:59Always with the
00:54:00fucking girlfriend.
00:54:01Not right now.
00:54:02Well, same here.
00:54:03We're on the same boat.
00:54:04That's why I tell him
00:54:05he's got to keep
00:54:05his options open.
00:54:06Yeah, Dad said
00:54:07I've got to keep
00:54:08my options open
00:54:09because I'm a handsome guy.
00:54:10Cool and handsome guy.
00:54:11Mm-hmm.
00:54:12Just like Reef.
00:54:14Hey, you guys should
00:54:14be wingmen for each other.
00:54:16Just try and leave
00:54:16some pussy for the rest of us.
00:54:17Shut up, Dad.
00:54:19What do I always say?
00:54:20Keep your options open.
00:54:22Yes.
00:54:22Never sign anything.
00:54:24Check the Saudi money.
00:54:25Check the Saudi money.
00:54:27Right.
00:54:27Okay.
00:54:28Hey,
00:54:29I'll check in tomorrow.
00:54:32Enjoy the game.
00:54:34See you later, Reef.
00:54:35Nice to meet you.
00:54:36Don't deal alcohol
00:54:37and say not a crack, Reef.
00:54:40Hey,
00:54:40I told you not to tell
00:54:41anybody about that.
00:54:42You're not supposed
00:54:42to repeat that shit.
00:54:43Get in the car, guys.
00:54:44Let's go.
00:54:45Get in the car.
00:54:54Get in the car.
00:54:55Get in the car.
00:54:56Get in the car.
00:54:58Get in the car.
00:54:59Get in the car.
00:55:00Get in the car.
00:55:02Get in the car.
00:55:03Get in the car.
00:55:03Get in the car.
00:55:04Get in the car.
00:55:04Get in the car.
00:55:04Get in the car.
00:55:05Get in the car.
00:55:06Get in the car.
00:55:08Get in the car.
00:55:10Get in the car.
00:55:15Reef Hawk
00:55:19Hey
00:55:19I think I read a couple years ago
00:55:21Your dad hung himself, right?
00:55:24It's so funny
00:55:25I'm reading the new Jennifer Egan
00:55:27And the main character is a rock star
00:55:29Whose mom is on a reality show
00:55:30And the dad hangs himself
00:55:33I mean, it's a rock star
00:55:34It's not a movie star
00:55:35But it's crazy close, right?
00:55:43Anyway, check it out
00:55:44If you have a flight or something
00:55:45You can breeze right through it
00:55:57Can I just say
00:55:58What we're all thinking
00:56:00A live tell-all interview
00:56:02While pretending to be a victim
00:56:04Seems like the actual
00:56:06Complete opposite
00:56:07Of what you should do
00:56:08What's the alternative?
00:56:10Give everything up
00:56:11I've worked for my entire life
00:56:13I have what everyone dreams of
00:56:15I can't just throw it away
00:56:23Let's just, like, sell everything
00:56:25And move to Hawaii
00:56:26Open the smoothie stand or something
00:56:30Yeah
00:56:31There we go
00:56:32I'll open a smoothie stand
00:56:35What a brilliant idea
00:56:36You just seem a little off
00:56:39Lately, so
00:56:41Look, I just want to make sure
00:56:42That you're
00:56:42Make sure I'm what?
00:56:45Are you implying that there's
00:56:47Something important
00:56:48I'm hiding from you?
00:56:49Reef, dude
00:56:50She's just asking you
00:56:51I know what she's asking
00:56:52I don't know why
00:56:53It's such a big deal
00:56:54It's a big fucking deal
00:56:56Because questioning that
00:56:58Is questioning the very core
00:57:00Of everything I am
00:57:01The last five years
00:57:02Everything I've
00:57:04Fought and clawed
00:57:05And promised to not be
00:57:08So you questioning that
00:57:10Isn't just a chill little question
00:57:12It's calling me a fraud
00:57:15So what the fuck are you asking?
00:57:22Don't fucking curse at me
00:57:24Ever
00:57:26Don't ever talk to me like that
00:57:30Ever
00:57:31You are under immense pressure and anxiety
00:57:35So I am asking you
00:57:37As somebody who loves you
00:57:38Are you strong in your sobriety?
00:57:41Because you have that look in your eyes
00:57:43You promised I wasn't going to see again
00:57:47How fucking dare you
00:57:49How dare I?
00:57:50How dare I?
00:57:52I ask you because I am someone who loves you
00:57:55At times more than you are capable of loving yourself
00:57:58I ask because I would rather you
00:58:01Throw some little bitchy diva movie star tantrum
00:58:04And not be my friend for a month
00:58:06Than to walk in on you overdosed again
00:58:10Thinking that you were fucking dead
00:58:13Which you don't even remember
00:58:14But was like the worst moment of my life
00:58:22Dude, you're a 56 year old man
00:58:24Who might be back on hard drugs
00:58:27So when I ask you
00:58:30It's not because it's fun for me
00:58:35My sobriety is stronger than fucking steel
00:58:43And as far as moving to Hawaii
00:58:45And opening a smoothie stand
00:58:50That might be in the realm of possibility for you
00:58:54But honestly, Kyle
00:58:55Yeah
00:58:56I don't have the patience or the fucking energy
00:58:59To fake being able to relate to your shitty little life today
00:59:04I live in an existence
00:59:06You literally have no way of understanding
00:59:11Oh, fuck
00:59:12You're right
00:59:15I have no idea
00:59:17I hope that you do that giant interview
00:59:20And I hope you get more famous
00:59:22And more rich
00:59:24And more attention
00:59:27As it seems to
00:59:28Historically serve you
00:59:30Super well
00:59:31And you know what?
00:59:32I love my life
00:59:33My shitty little life
00:59:34You know why?
00:59:36I get to be
00:59:37Whoever I want to be
00:59:40All the time
00:59:41I wish you cared
00:59:43About what we thought of you, Reef
00:59:45More than a bunch of people on the internet
00:59:50And the next time you do a performative apology tour
00:59:53Throw your two best friends on the list
00:59:54You sad fucking junkie
01:00:13Why are you still here?
01:00:17I ordered food
01:00:19And I already paid for it
01:00:20On the app
01:00:27Why did you stay my friend, Sander?
01:00:38I hate emotions so fucking much
01:00:40Um
01:00:48When we were in high school
01:00:50Every other word out of everyone's mouth was faggot
01:00:52Including mine
01:00:54And
01:00:55One time you slept over in 10th grade
01:00:57And you asked me point blank if I was gay
01:00:59And I denied it for hours
01:01:01And we got into this big screaming fight
01:01:03And
01:01:06You said to me
01:01:09You said you would not be my friend if I was gay
01:01:13You would only not be my friend if I was not myself
01:01:18Because that would be too hard to watch
01:01:27When you act gross like this
01:01:29I choose to remember that person
01:01:39And I wanted to be my friend
01:01:40I'm afraid of her
01:01:47I was afraid of her
01:01:52And if I was cute
01:01:52If I was with him
01:01:54I was with him
01:01:55I made it for myself!
01:01:55went to myolly I
01:01:55he was a little I
01:01:55died for you�
01:01:57And
01:01:57his Bots I
01:01:57ate我 deposit
01:01:58I
01:02:01traveled
01:03:49Thank you for doing this, by the way.
01:03:51I mean, I've been thinking about you a lot lately and how much our lives have paralleled
01:04:00and the things we've been through.
01:04:02So, it's a very, very unique experience.
01:04:07Like when we were kids.
01:04:09It's like, why did we do this and who did we do it for?
01:04:18One minute to live air.
01:04:20You know, it's funny.
01:04:22You know, it's funny.
01:04:25I didn't like you.
01:04:26So, is that funny?
01:04:29You were always so smug, you know?
01:04:32But then when Virginia called me and told me what really is going on and what you are surviving
01:04:40as a victim, I mean, and the fact that you were willing to talk about it and share everything
01:04:48and share it with the world, I mean, you're a hero.
01:04:52And I want to interview that hero.
01:05:04It's going to be great.
01:05:15I'm going to leave.
01:05:17What?
01:05:19I'm going to leave now.
01:05:2130 seconds to live air.
01:05:22Wait, no, no, no.
01:05:22You can't, you can't, you can't.
01:05:23No, no, no.
01:05:24We can talk about other things.
01:05:26I mean, we need to talk about the thing.
01:05:28I just don't want to do this.
01:05:30But you're here.
01:05:31Why would you do that?
01:05:32Did I say something?
01:05:34No.
01:05:35But you cannot do this.
01:05:37We're about to go to live TV in how many seconds?
01:05:40Ten seconds live air.
01:05:41What the fuck are you doing, Reeve?
01:05:44God fucking damn it, you fucked me.
01:05:46I will fuck you so hard.
01:05:49I'll fucking go outland on all you motherfuckers.
01:05:52Bobby, hey, it fucking worked.
01:05:54Ira, I'm leaving.
01:05:56No, you don't understand.
01:05:57It worked.
01:05:59What worked?
01:06:00I didn't do the interview.
01:06:01Yeah, no shit.
01:06:02You didn't have to.
01:06:03And I knew that even frightening a live interview
01:06:05would force in a hand, and it fucking did.
01:06:07It's just some random nobody who found the video
01:06:09on his ex-girlfriend's computer.
01:06:11They caved.
01:06:11I got him from 15 mil down to 35K.
01:06:1635K, and this is all behind you for the rest of your life.
01:06:26Hello?
01:06:36What the fuck do you mean, I don't know?
01:06:39I just wanted all this to go away.
01:06:45And now that it's right here, in front of me,
01:06:51it's just so fucking wrong.
01:06:55I'll be there.
01:06:56I'll be there.
01:07:09Bye-bye.
01:07:10It's 35K.
01:07:11It's a fucking four runner.
01:07:17You pay it.
01:07:20It's the cosmic tax.
01:08:17It's the cosmic tax.
01:08:38It's the cosmic tax.
01:08:48It's a hotel room.
01:08:51I guess I'm a little lonely or something.
01:08:57That's no good.
01:09:01Don't you have, like, a wife or kids or a family or something?
01:09:09No.
01:09:12No, I don't.
01:09:13Well, why not?
01:09:20Uh, why not?
01:09:28I guess, uh, I guess when it came time to do that, I, uh, I always chose something else I
01:09:43thought was bigger or more important.
01:09:47Um, that's really sad.
01:10:06Do you want to see my tits?
01:10:09Sure.
01:10:10Sure.
01:10:27Sure.
01:10:28Sure.
01:10:34Sure.
01:10:39Sure.
01:10:43You have kind eyes.
01:10:50I just need you for two minutes outside?
01:10:51Yeah.
01:10:52Okay.
01:10:52Great.
01:11:07You know, I've thought and fantasize about what I would do or say to you if I ever had the
01:11:14chance.
01:11:25Do you really hate me?
01:11:32No, no, I don't, I don't hate you.
01:11:38I love you, man.
01:11:45I'm just broke.
01:12:25I love you.
01:12:31you mean to me, and the shame I feel for what I put you through.
01:12:49You're my whole life, but it's not about me.
01:13:11I'm sorry.
01:13:15I forgive you.
01:13:19I forgive you, too.
01:13:24Hey, I'm sorry.
01:13:32Do you need a hug?
01:13:34Yes.
01:13:36I love you, Joe.
01:13:37I love you, guys.
01:13:39Thank you, Reef.
01:14:11Hello.
01:14:13Hey.
01:14:14Hi.
01:14:16Who's this?
01:14:17It's Reef.
01:14:19Reef?
01:14:21Reef?
01:14:23What can I do for you, Reef?
01:14:25I'm just calling to see how your day is.
01:14:28What do you mean?
01:14:29I mean, how's your day?
01:14:32Like, how are the events of your day?
01:14:35What do you mean, how's my day?
01:14:36How are the events of my day?
01:14:37What does that mean?
01:14:39I'm just asking how your day is.
01:14:41Like, what you did and how it is.
01:14:43What the fuck do you mean, how is my day?
01:14:46What do you want, Reef?
01:14:47What's your angle?
01:14:48Red.
01:14:49I'm calling to see how your day is going.
01:14:53Like, how you are.
01:14:55Like, how you're doing.
01:14:58Oh.
01:15:00Oh.
01:15:02Well, thanks.
01:15:05All I'm doing, I'm just hanging out.
01:15:07That's all I'm doing.
01:15:09Nice.
01:15:11That's awesome.
01:15:13Yeah, I mean, you know, nothing crazy.
01:15:15Same old.
01:15:17Yeah.
01:15:18Yeah.
01:15:19Same.
01:15:20Not a whole lot here today, either.
01:15:25Well, that's nice.
01:15:26That's nice.
01:15:27Today I walked down the street I used to wander.
01:15:32Yeah.
01:15:33I shook my hand and made myself a bed.
01:15:38There was all these things that I don't think I remember.
01:15:43Hey, how lucky I can't one man give.
01:15:49Hey, how lucky I can't one man give.
01:15:54Hey, how lucky can one man give.
01:16:36Girl, girl, girl, girl.
01:16:38Oh, my.
01:16:38We got this.
01:16:39We got this.
01:16:39Who are you?
01:16:40The second most interesting bitch in this room.
01:16:42Trust.
01:16:42Oh.
01:16:43Three, two, one.
01:16:45Good evening.
01:16:46And welcome to the primetime special edition of the Drew Barrymore Show.
01:16:52We begin tonight with a gentleman I do not know.
01:16:56Hi.
01:16:57Xander Alexander.
01:16:58Huge fan.
01:16:59And you soon will be of mine as well.
01:17:01So much of your show is about your guests coming on here and unloading on your tits.
01:17:05And I just want you to know that today I'm here to take that load for you.
01:17:10Well, let's get the tissues out and do this right now.
01:17:15Yes.
01:17:16First of all, I don't know if you know anything about my past, but, you know, E.T. changed my
01:17:21life.
01:17:22I actually always thought it was et.
01:17:24You know, like French.
01:17:25Never seen it before.
01:17:26Saw the poster.
01:17:28Know how relevant it is.
01:17:29Know how important it is.
01:17:30From what I understand, it's about you and a bunch of other little kids finding a little old Jewish guy
01:17:34and taking him for a ride on a bicycle.
01:17:38Again, I haven't seen it.
01:17:42I've only seen Call Me By Your Name in the notebook.
01:17:48Don't know how I did that now I wonder where it's gone Must have spent the way I went waiting
01:18:00for the dawn Shoot the moon right between the eyes I'm screaming Take me back to sunny countryside
01:18:30Clocks and the spoons and empty rooms It's raining out tonight
01:18:36Bye!
01:23:35I'm Reeve Hawk and I got staff in the sauna.
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