- 10 hours ago
The Trades S03E01 2026 Hot 2026
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Short filmTranscript
00:11¡Suscríbete al canal!
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05:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:35No, no, no, no. That came out of the pizza.
05:37Good morning, sunshine.
05:42Hey, Chelsea.
05:44Hell of a night at Jimmy's parody.
05:45Yeah, officially unionized. Cheers to progress.
05:48Also, congrats. You get to swing the axe today.
05:50It's your first official layoff as general foreman.
05:53That was a fun little 180.
05:55Contract got pulled.
05:56Initially, it was four guys, but I got it down to one, so clock's ticking.
06:00One? That's it? Don't we have apprentices sitting around or travel cards visiting? Retirees?
06:05You're one head heavy. You know the crews. I'm sorry, but I need a name.
06:10Can you do it?
06:12Layoffs are your job, GF.
06:13Okay, can I just...
06:14No, you can't pick yourself.
06:21You're colon called. It's scared.
06:24It's unionized. It's organizing a walk-out through my butthole.
06:27At this point, I feel like you're not even digesting food.
06:29You're more brining yourself from the inside out.
06:31I taste the food, then the food tastes me.
06:34Okay. You asked, I delivered.
06:37This is coital silver.
06:39This will help get rid of my lung whistle?
06:41Oh, yeah. This stuff might have to tickle out of my throat and open my third eye.
06:44This is the shit the FDA doesn't want you to know about.
06:46Oh, ho, ho.
06:48Try it. What do you got to lose?
06:49Come on, man. I'm telling you.
06:51Smells like a slot machine, man.
06:53Is that fish?
06:54Yes.
06:55Oh.
06:55I'm getting smoked mackerel from my Uncle Ezekiel.
06:57Yeah, well, now everyone is smoked.
06:59Delicious. Look at it.
07:00Oh, you microwaved it in tinfoil, you dummy.
07:03Oh, that's precisely what you're supposed to do with it.
07:05That is literally the one thing you're not supposed to put into a microwave.
07:08That's incorrect.
07:09That's fireworks.
07:09I need to show you some backwoods culture, okay?
07:11Who raised you?
07:13Oh, yeah. Wolves.
07:14Yeah, something's fishy and it ain't that mackerel.
07:18Oh, yeah.
07:20Bad herring, you think?
07:21No, dude.
07:22Small sex. Small sex.
07:24Oh, no.
07:30That snacks is a wild boy.
07:33You know what? You actually might need a rabies shot.
07:35Maybe. I mean, what do you think? You want to come with? Make it a date?
07:39You're asking me on a rabies date?
07:41Fuck, yeah.
07:41It's not my first shot and it won't be my last.
07:43You might as well just come with me, I'll get blasted, and then we'll go get some wings.
07:46I do like sweet and spicy.
07:48Yeah?
07:49Yeah.
07:49Do you like it like the weekend?
07:51From what I remember, it was okay.
07:53What you remember?
07:54Better than okay. You know it. Admit it. You had fun.
07:56Come on.
07:57You did.
07:58Give it.
07:58Stop it. Stop it. I'm fucking serious.
08:00Reggie, I'm fucking serious, okay?
08:02What?
08:02This does not go beyond us.
08:04You're his best friend. I'm his fucking sister. I will not be the toolbox talk.
08:07No one here will know anything about what happened between us.
08:10Top of the morning, lovers.
08:13For fuck's sake, Stu.
08:15Fucking snake.
08:16Oh, my God, Dewey.
08:18That is right. I know everything.
08:20I told you.
08:21What do you mean, told me? He lives there.
08:23The price for my silence will be 40 bucks.
08:25What?
08:25However, I will not delete the mental images.
08:29Ew.
08:30You're not extorting me, Dewey.
08:32I will fuck your shit up.
08:34Get him.
08:35It's a bit aggressive for a guilty conscience.
08:37You give me $40 and I will give you a fucking punch in the balls, Dewey, and I will squeeze
08:44your head off.
08:44How does that sound?
08:45Easy, big fella.
08:47Imagine Todd's face when he finds out his bestie and his sister played the little game of drill and fill,
08:51huh?
08:51Okay, he's kind of goss.
08:53Fuck you, Dewey.
08:55Already for your silence.
08:56Good deal, good deal.
08:57Fine.
08:57Don't be like some fucking foot fungus coming back next week, Dewey.
09:00Expect your silence.
09:01Well, fungus is resilient.
09:02Silence!
09:04Okay, here we go.
09:06Who's the most expendable?
09:07Come on, Tanner.
09:09Come on, Tanner.
09:14Fuck!
09:15All right, I guess we let the people decide.
09:25Oh, God.
09:26Can't you see we're on a banana break, Dewey?
09:28Jesus, Dewey.
09:29I have been entrusted with something of an adult nature.
09:34Hmm, do tell.
09:35How adult are we talking?
09:36Triple X adult.
09:38Maximum spicy.
09:40Oh, that's my favorite level of spice.
09:42And I'm the only one that knows.
09:43Not for long.
09:47All right, who's up?
09:50Oh, here we go.
09:51Hey, Tan Man.
09:53Hey.
09:53Quick question.
09:54How do you feel I've been taking a long weekend?
09:57Maybe back-to-back long weekends.
09:59And all the days in between.
10:01Uh, I mean, I love the time off.
10:03Is it paid?
10:05I need the hours.
10:06No, I was thinking more voluntarily.
10:08Oh.
10:09Well, I'm saving up for a place of my own
10:11because I still live at home with my mom, man.
10:13Oh, you do, do you?
10:14She just got a new boyfriend.
10:15Right.
10:16At night, I can't hear him, but...
10:18Oh, I can sure as hell hear her.
10:20Okay.
10:20Oh, fuck.
10:22Unless that is him.
10:23I hope not.
10:24I actually gotta be somewhere different.
10:26I'll be in the middle of my friends.
10:32Didn't see the sign?
10:34I saw it.
10:36Whoa, beauty.
10:37What?
10:38What?
10:40So, listen, Roach.
10:42What do you think about taking some time off?
10:43Uh, like, paid vacation?
10:45Nope, it'd just be a vacation.
10:46Oh, I can't.
10:47I'm two payments behind on my dirt bike.
10:49That's okay.
10:50They said they'd take my thumb,
10:52and this one's opposable, so...
10:54I guess you can't paint without your thumb.
10:56Oh.
10:57Fuck's sakes.
10:58Hey, man, you didn't even piss.
11:00Whoa!
11:01You're doing...
11:01You sure you don't want a bit of time off?
11:03Hell no.
11:05Look at these delts.
11:06They're not gonna feed themselves.
11:08Look at them.
11:09Which ones are the delts again?
11:11I just can't do it.
11:12I know too much about their lives.
11:13They all have stories.
11:15Dats, pets that need surgeries,
11:17a guy's mom having sloppy, loud sex.
11:19It's fucked.
11:20You're the GF, Todd.
11:21Part of the job is making hard calls.
11:23Yeah.
11:26Look, I know it sucks.
11:27Just find the balance between being a friend and a leader.
11:30What does this have to do?
11:30It's more than about your piss, Roach.
11:32It's everything.
11:33Todd.
11:34Fuck.
11:35Look at this.
11:36If you trace the silver supply chain backwards, bam!
11:38That's where the airborne microchips come in.
11:40Right under our ignorant little noses.
11:42I was just asking why my piss is so, uh, stinky.
11:45Honest.
11:45No, no, no, no.
11:46Look.
11:47That's the detox piss, man.
11:48It's the best kind of piss.
11:49It's the number one of number ones.
11:51Now, come on.
11:52Move!
11:53Happy scrapbooking, boys.
11:54Fuck you, Todd!
11:55Good one.
11:56And you're having a tough time finding a candidate?
11:57Crazy gets shit done.
11:59Oh, conch wouldn't be conch without crazy.
12:03Watch that line, Leonard.
12:04I'm not sure about that calculation.
12:06I used your theorem.
12:08Not very well.
12:08Leonard.
12:09Mehdi, where are you?
12:11Why are you on a necklace?
12:12I'm supervising Leonard's work from abroad.
12:15My arms got tired, so I made this Mehdi strap on.
12:17Unfortunately, his arms tire very easily.
12:20What?
12:20Not that easily.
12:22Well, boys, if these walls could talk.
12:26I just alphabetized those.
12:29What's our little rat saying now?
12:31No clue.
12:32I don't tell tales out of school.
12:35Oh, sure.
12:35Right, right, right.
12:36Come on, punky deuster.
12:38Spit it out.
12:39But a certain Lady Carpenter and her burly journeymen have been erecting platforms after hours.
12:45What?
12:46Wait.
12:47My connection glitched.
12:49Ah, Leonard, elevate me.
12:50Closer.
12:51I want to study his eyes.
12:53I'm telling you the truth.
12:55You're thrown by my droopy eye.
12:56I was born with it.
12:57I don't think so.
12:58I don't think he's telling the truth.
13:03Take it.
13:04Ah!
13:05Fuck, Dewey.
13:07You can't tell anyone's top secret.
13:10Okay.
13:12Odds and Bareback are doing the horizontal fender bender.
13:15What?
13:15He's putting his hammer into her holster.
13:20Say no more.
13:22I am a vault.
13:23But that is too big of a secret to keep.
13:26What do you mean?
13:26That means I need 50 bucks.
13:2750 bucks?
13:28Come on, Dewey.
13:29That's the best rate I can give you for my silence.
13:31Wait.
13:31Are you serious?
13:32You're blackmailing me?
13:34Taxing gossip.
13:35Hey, I accept e-transfer.
13:37Cash.
13:38Thanks, bud.
13:40Oh, shit.
13:43Everybody knows, Dewey.
13:44People are talking, Dewey.
13:47Not us, though.
13:47We're confidential.
13:48But not for free.
13:50What?
13:50We heard you're paying out hush money.
13:52Hush money.
13:55And what is it that you want?
13:57Mani-pedis.
13:58Shellac.
13:59None of that cheap clear coat shit.
14:01And a spray tan.
14:02Like a full caramel glaze.
14:04Caramel glaze?
14:05Car-ra-mel.
14:08Oh, my God.
14:09This shit ain't cheap, Dewey.
14:10We know you're good for it.
14:11Yeah, we might start feeling chatty.
14:13You know, I look after snacks now, too.
14:15I have to feed him and wash him.
14:17And that's on you.
14:18It costs money.
14:19You know, we got a growing number of employees interested in being paid to keep their mouth
14:23closed about that gossip.
14:26I know.
14:26It's appalling.
14:28You should probably report this to Chelsea.
14:30No.
14:31No, don't do that.
14:33Unless you'd be willing to donate to my bulking regimen.
14:37Would you?
14:38Dewey?
14:41Would you?
14:43Hey, boss.
14:47Are you okay?
14:49I've got to lay someone off.
14:50Fuck.
14:51Look at these beautiful bastards.
14:53How am I supposed to pick?
14:56Well done.
14:57Fresh off the torch.
15:00Anyone?
15:01Stick a look.
15:03Oh, yeah.
15:04Lock it.
15:05You're crazy.
15:06Fuck it.
15:07This is your only idea.
15:11Seven.
15:12Sixty-eight.
15:14Sixty-nine.
15:15You're after.
15:16Go, Ted.
15:19Todd, my man.
15:20Whenever I've got to be a stone-cold bad bitch, I call him my alter-ego, Stephanie.
15:25Oh, yeah?
15:25Yeah.
15:26This is Steph.
15:27You've met her.
15:29This, however, is Stephanie.
15:32There's a difference?
15:33Oh, there's a difference.
15:34It's in the attitude.
15:35Check this out.
15:37Hey, Tanner, your locker's been compromised.
15:38Clear it out.
15:39Ah, fuck me.
15:40Not again.
15:41Go, Deb, behind the eyes.
15:42No blinking.
15:43No throat clears.
15:45Monotone.
15:46Find an attitude that works for you.
15:48Don't be fucking Todd.
15:51Be Todd, Rick.
15:53Got it.
15:54Say it.
15:58I'm Todd, Rick.
15:59I'm a stone-cold bad bitch.
16:00I'm a stone-cold bad bitch.
16:02Yeah, you are, man.
16:04You got this.
16:08Gotta lay you off.
16:09Hey, Todd.
16:10I can see your lips moving, but all I can hear is Nickelback.
16:14Oh, yeah.
16:16Sometimes you gotta remove a good stud to finish the wall.
16:19What?
16:20Your voice sounds fucking weird.
16:21Oh, is this your attempt at a boss man voice?
16:24I gotta lay you off.
16:26That sucks for you, man.
16:28Because I ain't going nowhere.
16:33Fuck my life.
16:34Yeah, you're gonna have to practice, Toddrick.
16:36You couldn't lay off that.
16:38Oh!
16:39She's all right.
16:41You all right?
16:44Oh, yes.
16:45Oh, God.
16:47Ah!
16:48Due to recent economic developments, the price for my silence has increased.
16:52Fucker, you better not have told anyone, do we?
16:54I will screw you to the wall and throw fucking knives at you.
16:57You better not fuck this up for me.
16:58What?
16:59Are you getting told anyone?
17:00Absolutely not.
17:01I mean, my...
17:02God, you told...
17:02How many people did you tell?
17:03Hypothetically.
17:04If I had told someone, then I hypothetically would now need some more money to hypothetically
17:10not tell more people.
17:13As you hypothetically, I'm by the balls right now.
17:15How much more do you need?
17:16Oh, this'll do.
17:17Oh, what the fuck, Dewey?
17:18Hey, you remember.
17:19I know where you sleep.
17:20Unfortunately for you, B-dubs, I now know where you've been sleeping.
17:24For fuck's sakes, Dewey.
17:26No, Rope, you can't chop the white of silver.
17:27Put it down.
17:28No, Rope.
17:29Get off me.
17:31It tastes like birds of silver, man.
17:33You gotta purge it out of him before he turns into the teeth.
17:39Fucking hybrid.
17:40Hey, what the hell's going on here?
17:42No, you can't jump.
17:43Come on, don't stop.
17:43Yeah, yeah, okay, but maybe I'll body slam the guy, Homer.
17:46He's not gonna be okay.
17:46Why are you helping?
17:47I mean it.
17:47He's gonna be really sick of telling you.
17:49Hey, stop it.
17:50Stop.
17:52Homer, I'm laying you off.
17:57Wait, what?
17:59Oh, bummer, man.
18:00Break it up.
18:01Hey, come on.
18:02Thanks for that taste.
18:07Maureen kicked me out.
18:09She's worried if I don't talk to someone, I'm gonna build a bunker.
18:11But I've already got a bunker, so this would just be like, what, another bunker?
18:15Are you seeing someone about this?
18:18Yeah, I mean, there's a group.
18:20Deprogramming programming.
18:22We meet every Thursday night in the basement of this vape shop.
18:25And sometimes it's virtual, but basically we all sit in a circle and say the real stuff
18:31out loud, like chemtrails might not actually exist.
18:38They don't.
18:38Or the moon landing might have actually happened.
18:43It probably did.
18:44It's been hard, man.
18:45Where have you been staying?
18:47Park my van outside Bob's hardware.
18:49There's no nighttime security.
18:52Sometimes I sleep in my shed or underneath the lunchroom tables.
18:57Are you serious?
18:58Home of the fridge helps me sleep.
19:00Plus just knowing your food's safe in there, you know?
19:02See, I really think you need some time off.
19:05I can't be laid off, you corporate bobblehead!
19:07I got Maureen and the kids to support!
19:09I get it, and I hate this.
19:10But I also have to do my job.
19:12You assaulted Roach today, and you probably fucking poisoned him.
19:15Like, that is not good.
19:16What kind of a fucking idiot chugs Coytus?
19:18Homer.
19:19No, you're right.
19:20You're right.
19:21Sorry, I'll just...
19:22But listen, Homer.
19:24That being said, my Wi-Fi's been on the fritz.
19:29So call your cable company.
19:31No, I think it's a Homer problem.
19:33My garage has a futon.
19:35I mean, Dewey sleeps out there too.
19:37Hums in his sleep.
19:38It might match the same frequency as the fridge.
19:40You troubleshoot my Wi-Fi network, I'll float you a few bucks.
19:44And as soon as we need manpower, you're back on my crew.
19:50So you got a bunker?
19:51Yeah, but it's mostly just for our winter clothes and Christmas decorations.
19:57So you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a
20:07bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a
20:15bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a
20:15bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a
20:15bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a
20:16bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a
20:18bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a
20:20bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a
20:21bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker, you got a bunker,
20:25¡Suscríbete al canal!
21:09¡Suscríbete al canal!
21:27¡Suscríbete al canal!
21:41¡Suscríbete al canal!
21:42¡Suscríbete al canal!
21:44¡Suscríbete al canal!
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21:57¡Suscríbete al canal!
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