- 10 hours ago
The Trades S03E01 2026 Hot 2026
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:08Odds! Wake the fuck up! We're going hard!
00:10Oh fuck!
00:11Jimmy's retirement weekend! You can sleep when he's dead!
00:13Okay, I'll distract him, you fucking gotta get out of here!
00:15With what? A teleporter?
00:17Go hide!
00:18Fuck!
00:19Here?
00:20I don't know!
00:22Use rubber!
00:23Hey Odds, you alive or what?
00:26Fuck bro, you can't just burge in here like that, okay?
00:28Cause I was rubbing one out!
00:31Glad I didn't walk in on that!
00:32Yeah, me too!
00:33Here, get the Caesar into you, all your essential nutrients!
00:36Awesome! Tomatoes, vodka, clams, and...
00:39Holy shit, way more vodka!
00:41Gave one of my famous pickled beans, this new batch, make your ass lips pucker!
00:45Can't wait!
00:47Fuck!
00:48Grab your shit!
00:50Oh, one more thing!
00:52Huh?
00:53You want your eggs Todd style?
00:54Uh, no, scramble's fine!
00:56Scramble coming up!
00:56Thank you!
00:57You're welcome again!
00:58No problem at all!
00:59Get the fuck out of here!
01:01Damn, fuck!
01:01What have I done?
01:02Okay, here we go!
01:04Okay!
01:04Oh shit, this is gonna suck!
01:06Fuck!
01:07Ugh!
01:08Ugh!
01:09Ugh!
01:10Why the hell were you up on our roof?
01:12Dodd's roof!
01:12He's got shingle rot!
01:14And there goes the timer!
01:15Holy fuck!
01:16It's cold!
01:17Ugh!
01:17Don't need for a shower now!
01:19Ugh!
01:20Shingle rot!
01:22First I'm hearing of it, Mr. Handy Mullet!
01:24Are you shaving your whole face?
01:26I've been doing it since I was five!
01:27Oh!
01:28You do it once and it grows back thicker!
01:29If I don't stay on top of this, I'm a daytime werewolf!
01:32Well, look who it is!
01:33I'm not here!
01:35Ugh!
01:36Ugh!
01:37Ugh!
01:38Hey, what up, slacks?
01:40Morning, boss!
01:41You look...
01:42Please!
01:42Don't even go there, dicklamp!
01:44Your waiter in service last night was bullshit!
01:46What the fuck happened to the dessert I paid for?
01:48Oh, I ate the dessert myself!
01:49You were too busy eating my sister's face!
01:53Hey, you wanna see a drawing of the dream I had?
01:55Are you wearing clothes this time?
01:57Fuck!
01:57Oh, Jesus!
01:58Is that your step-mom again?
01:59Yeah, Miss Nancy!
02:02Except this time she's part woman, part recliner!
02:04You really need to talk to somebody about this!
02:07I am!
02:08You're my someone!
02:09I'm not qualified!
02:10What do you think this dream means?
02:12Ugh!
02:12Great!
02:14Ow!
02:15You fucking city weasel!
02:21Fuck!
02:21Don't stare him in the eyes!
02:23You should know better.
02:24I do know better!
02:25How about I just punt the fucking thing over the fence?
02:30Hey, buddy!
02:31What are you doing here?
02:32Oh, hey!
02:33Bud!
02:34I was just, uh, coming to take you to breakfast!
02:37I got breakfast on the go inside.
02:39Come on in!
02:39Oh, nice!
02:40What happened to your face?
02:40You getting in a fight?
02:41Yeah, no, it's, uh, running through the bush, uh, hunting squirrels and shit.
02:44How come you're all wet?
02:45Uh, I think it was raining over where I am.
02:47What's that?
02:47I smell pizza or something?
02:48It's raining.
02:49It's not a fucking cloud in the sky.
02:51Drive that into ya.
02:51Wow.
02:52Todd style.
02:54Oh, yeah.
02:55What is that?
02:56Did I do that to you?
02:57No.
02:58Do we?
02:59Thank you, toddler.
03:01Uh, did everyone have a good night?
03:04Oh, yeah.
03:05Sure did.
03:06Yeah?
03:06Anyone special spending the night?
03:09Uh, Todd?
03:12Nope.
03:13And probably for the best, cause I snore like a bastard.
03:16Playing hard to get, huh?
03:17Good strategy.
03:18Not that hard.
03:19We already talked about another date.
03:20That a boy!
03:22Nice!
03:22Nice!
03:23What'd you get up to after Dane and I left last night?
03:26I left right after you guys.
03:28Are you sure?
03:28Yeah.
03:29Um, what time did you leave?
03:32Later.
03:32Later.
03:33A little later.
03:34Not too late.
03:34Not nose beers late.
03:35Nothing like that.
03:36You know, just, uh, early for some, later for others.
03:39You know what I mean?
03:39It's just kinda just, ha ha ha, one of those get up.
03:42Yes.
03:43You're being weird.
03:44One foot.
03:44Ah, you guys got some catching up to do.
03:46Cause I'm already on round two.
03:53Happy Monday.
03:54Oh, what a messy weekend.
03:55My brains are scrambled.
03:56You gonna be okay to work today?
03:59Did you get that all out of your system?
04:00I don't know, man.
04:02Okay.
04:03Alright.
04:03You were not hung over.
04:05You're good.
04:06You were definitely hung over.
04:08Here.
04:08Coffee.
04:09Check.
04:10After coffee gum.
04:11You.
04:12Take this for the pain.
04:14Chase it down with this.
04:16What would you do without me?
04:18I'd be fucked.
04:20Look at me.
04:22Ow.
04:23Now you're good.
04:23The fuck?
04:25Let's go Monday.
04:26Do this.
04:28Woo.
04:28We are crushing life.
04:30Creshing it.
04:31Good morning, ladies.
04:32Hey.
04:33It's Monday, but Todd's got Friday energy.
04:35Oh, yeah.
04:36Smell that?
04:36That's the smell of money being made, bitches.
04:38Paytrex cleared.
04:39I gave us a raise.
04:40As you should.
04:41While you're at it, I'll take one.
04:42Sure, sweetheart.
04:43Pew pew!
04:44Pew pew!
04:45That's the walkman man that wishes I'd take him back.
04:47Heard that.
04:48Heard that.
04:49Maybe I wanted you to.
04:50He he he he he he.
04:53Hey, Chips.
04:54Trackers are champions.
04:57Fuck.
04:58Hey, Stephanie.
04:58What's cracking?
04:59Hey, brother.
05:00Today could be the day.
05:01Zero and fractions.
05:02Oh, let's hope.
05:03Oh!
05:04Was that one?
05:05Nothing unsafe about that.
05:06That's called team spirit.
05:07Yeah, it is.
05:08Don't you fuck this up for me, Winky.
05:11Hey, Taze.
05:12Don't just stand there.
05:13Put your hands in your pockets.
05:14Why stand when you can lean?
05:15Why lean when you can sit?
05:17Clocked in.
05:17Tuned out.
05:18Have a good shift, everyone.
05:19Play safe.
05:20Look at this.
05:22We find this all the mystery of the eight-inch puke.
05:24It's not a puke.
05:25It's a hair off the janitor's head.
05:27Oh, well, thanks.
05:29Fuck.
05:29I've been praying for closures of that one.
05:34You want your hands?
05:35No, no, no.
05:36That came out of the picture.
05:37You want your hands?
05:41Morning, sunshine.
05:42Hey, Chelsea.
05:44Hell of a night at Jimmy's party.
05:45Yeah, officially unionized.
05:47Years to progress.
05:48Also, congrats.
05:49You get to swing the axe today.
05:50It's your first official layoff as General Foreman.
05:53That was a fun little 180.
05:55Contract got pulled.
05:56Initially it was four guys, but I got it down to one, so clock's ticking.
06:00One?
06:01That's it?
06:01Don't we have apprentices sitting around or travel cards visiting?
06:05Retirees?
06:05You're one head heavy.
06:07You know the crews.
06:08I'm sorry, but I need a name.
06:10Can you do it?
06:12Layoffs are your job, GF.
06:13Okay, can I just...
06:14No, you can't pick yourself.
06:17Fuck.
06:21Your colon called.
06:23It's scared.
06:24It's unionized.
06:25It's organizing a walk-out through my butthole.
06:27At this point, I feel like you're not even digesting food.
06:29You're more brining yourself from the inside out.
06:31I taste the food, then the food tastes me.
06:34Okay.
06:35You asked, I delivered.
06:37This is coital silver.
06:39This will help get rid of my lung whistle?
06:41Oh yeah.
06:42This stuff might have to tickle out of my throat and open my third eye.
06:44This is the shit the FDA doesn't want you to know about.
06:46Oh-ho-ho.
06:48Try it.
06:49What do you got to lose?
06:50Come on, man.
06:50I'm telling you.
06:51Smells like a slot machine, man.
06:53Is that fish?
06:54Yes.
06:55Oh.
06:55I'm trying to smoke mackerel from my Uncle Ezekiel.
06:57Yeah, well now everyone is smoked.
06:59Delicious.
06:59Look at it.
07:00Oh, you microwaved it in tinfoil?
07:02You dummy.
07:03Oh.
07:03Stop telling you.
07:04That's precisely what you're supposed to do with it.
07:05That is literally the one thing you're not supposed to put into a microwave.
07:08That's incorrect.
07:09It's a fireworks.
07:09I need to show you some backwoods culture, okay?
07:11Who raised you?
07:13Oh yeah, wolves.
07:14Yeah, something's fishy and it ain't that mackerel.
07:18Oh yeah.
07:19Bad herring, you think?
07:21No, dude.
07:22Small sex.
07:23Small sex.
07:34Small sex.
07:35Small sex.
07:35I mean, what do you think?
07:36You want to come with?
07:38I'm going to give a date?
07:39You're asking me on a rabies date?
07:41Fuck yeah.
07:41It's not my first shot and it won't be my last.
07:43You might as well just come with me, I'll get blasted, and then we'll go get some wings.
07:46I do like sweet and spicy.
07:48Yeah?
07:49Yeah.
07:49Do you like it like the weekend?
07:51From what I remember, it was okay.
07:53What you remember?
07:54Better than okay.
07:55You know it.
07:55Admit it.
07:56You had fun.
07:56Come on.
07:57You did.
07:58Give it.
07:58Stop it.
07:59Give it.
07:59I'm fucking serious.
08:00Reggie, I'm fucking serious, okay?
08:02What?
08:02This does not go beyond us.
08:04You're his best friend, I'm his fucking sister
08:06I will not be the toolbox talk
08:07No one here will know anything about what happened between us
08:10Top of the morning, lovers
08:13For fuck's sakes, dude
08:14Fucking snake
08:16Oh my god, Dewey
08:18That is right, I know everything
08:20I told you
08:21What do you mean told me? He lives there
08:22The price for my silence will be 40 bucks
08:25However, I will not delete
08:27The mental images
08:28You're not extorting me, Dewey
08:32I will fuck your shit up
08:34Get him, it's a bit aggressive
08:36For a guilty conscience
08:37You give me $40 and I
08:39I will give you a fucking punch in the balls, Dewey
08:43And I will squeeze your head off
08:44How does that sound?
08:45Easy, big fella
08:47Imagine Todd's face when he finds out his bestie and his sister
08:49Played the little game of drill and fill, huh?
08:52Okay, he's kind of goss
08:53Fuck you, Dewey
08:54Already for your silence
08:56Good deal, good deal
08:57Fine, don't be like some fucking foot fungus
08:59Coming back next week, Dewey
09:00Expect your silence
09:01Well, fungus is resilient
09:02Silence
09:04Okay, here we go
09:05Who's the most expendable?
09:07Come on, Tanner
09:08Come on, Tanner
09:13Fuck
09:15Alright
09:16I guess we let the people decide
09:25God
09:25Can't you see we're on a banana break, Dewey?
09:28Jeez
09:28I have been entrusted with something of an adult nature
09:33Hmm, do tell
09:35How adult are we talking?
09:36Triple X adult
09:38Maximum spicy
09:39Ooh, that's my favorite level of spice
09:42And I'm the only one that knows
09:43Not for long
09:46Alright, who's up?
09:50Oh, here we go
09:51Hey, Tan Man
09:52Hey
09:53Quick question
09:54How do you feel
09:55I've been taking a long weekend
09:56Maybe back-to-back long weekends
09:58And all the days in between?
10:01Uh, I mean, I love the time off
10:03Is it paid?
10:05I need the hours
10:05No, I was thinking more voluntarily
10:08Oh
10:09Well, I'm saving up for a place of my own
10:11Because I still live at home with my mom, man
10:13Oh, you do, do you?
10:14She just got a new boyfriend
10:15Right
10:15At night, I can't hear him
10:17But
10:17Oh, I can sure as hell hear her
10:19Okay
10:20Oh, fuck
10:21Unless that is him
10:22I hope not
10:24I actually gotta be somewhere different
10:32Didn't see the sign?
10:34I saw it
10:36Whoa, beauty
10:37What?
10:38What?
10:40So, listen, Roach
10:41What do you think about taking some time off?
10:43Uh, like, paid vacation?
10:45Nope, it'd just be a vacation
10:46Well, I can't
10:47I'm two payments behind on my dirt bike
10:49That's okay
10:50They said they'd take my thumb
10:52And this one's opposable, so
10:54I guess you can't paint without your thumb
10:56Oh
10:57For fuck's sakes
10:58Hey, man, you didn't even piss
11:00You're doing
11:01You sure you don't want a bit of time off?
11:03Hell no
11:05Look at these delts
11:06They're not gonna feed themselves
11:08Look at them
11:09Which ones are the delts again?
11:11I just can't do it
11:12I know too much about their lives
11:13They all have stories
11:14Gats
11:15Pets that need surgeries
11:16My guy's mom having sloppy, loud sex
11:19It's fucked
11:19You're the GF, Todd
11:21Part of the job is making hard calls
11:23Yeah
11:26Look, I know it sucks
11:27Just find the balance between being a friend and a leader
11:30What does this have to do?
11:30It's more than about your piss, Roach
11:32It's everything
11:33Todd
11:34Fuck
11:34Look at this
11:35If you trace the silver supply chain backwards
11:37Bam!
11:38That's where the airborne microchips come in
11:40Right under our ignorant little noses
11:42I was just asking why my piss is so, uh, stinky
11:45Honest
11:45No, no, no, no
11:46Look
11:47That's the detox piss, man
11:48It's the best kind of piss
11:49It's the number one of number ones
11:51Now, come on
11:52Move!
11:53Happy scrapbooking, boys
11:54Fuck you, Todd
11:55Good one
11:55And you're having a tough time finding a candidate?
11:57Crazy gets shit done
11:59Oh, conch wouldn't be conch without crazy
12:03Watch that line, Leonard
12:04I'm not sure about that calculation
12:06I used your theorem
12:07Not very well
12:08Leonard
12:09Mehdi
12:10Where are you?
12:11Why are you on a necklace?
12:12I'm supervising Leonard's work from abroad
12:14My arms got tired
12:16So I made this Mehdi strap on
12:17Unfortunately, his arms tire very easily
12:19What?
12:21Not that easily
12:22Well, boys
12:23If these walls could top
12:26I just alphabetized those
12:29What's our little rat saying now?
12:31No clue
12:32I don't tell tales out of school
12:34Oh, sure, right, right, right
12:36Come on, punky deuster
12:38Spit it out
12:39But a certain lady carpenter
12:41and her burly journeymen
12:42have been erecting platforms after hours
12:45What?
12:46Wait
12:47My connection glitched
12:48Ah, Leonard
12:49Elevate me
12:50Closer
12:51I want to study his eyes
12:53I'm telling you the truth
12:54You're thrown by my droopy eye
12:56I was born with it
12:57I don't think so
12:58I don't think he's telling the truth
13:03Take it
13:04Ah!
13:05Fuck, Dewey
13:06You can't tell anyone
13:08It's top secret
13:10Okay
13:12Odds and Bareback are doing
13:13the horizontal fender bender
13:15What?
13:16He's putting his hammer
13:17into her holster
13:20Say no more
13:21I am a vault
13:23But that is too big
13:24of a secret to keep
13:25What do you mean?
13:26That means I need 50 bucks
13:2750 bucks?
13:28Come on, Dewey
13:29That's the best rate
13:29I can give you for my silence
13:30Wait
13:31Are you serious?
13:32You're blackmailing me?
13:34Taxing gossip
13:35Hey, I accept e-transfer
13:37Cash
13:37Thanks, bud
13:40Oh, shit
13:43Everybody knows, Dewey
13:44People are talking, Dewey
13:46Not us, though
13:47We're confidential
13:48But not for free
13:49What?
13:50We heard you're paying out
13:51Hush money
13:51Hush money
13:55And what is it
13:56that you want?
13:57Mani-pedis
13:58Shellac
13:58None of that cheap
13:59clear coat shit
14:00And a spray tan
14:02Or like a full caramel glaze
14:03Caramel glaze?
14:05Car-ra-mel
14:07Oh, my God
14:09This shit ain't cheap, Dewey
14:10We know you're good for it
14:11Yeah, we might
14:12start feeling chatty
14:13You know, I look
14:14after snacks now, too
14:15I have to feed him
14:16and wash him
14:17And that's on you
14:18It costs money
14:19You know, we got a growing number
14:20of employees
14:21interested in being paid
14:23to keep their mouth closed
14:24about that gossip
14:25I know
14:26It's appalling
14:28You should probably report
14:29this to Chelsea
14:29No
14:30No, don't do that
14:33Unless you'd be willing
14:33to donate
14:34to my bulking regimen
14:37Would you?
14:39Dewey?
14:41Would you?
14:44Hey, boss
14:47Are you okay?
14:49I gotta lay someone off
14:50Fuck
14:51Look at these beautiful bastards
14:53How am I supposed to pick?
14:56Who wants?
14:57Well done
14:57Fresh off the torch
15:00Anyone?
15:00Do it
15:01Take a look
15:02Take a look
15:03Take a look
15:04Put her down
15:04Lock it
15:05You're ready
15:06Fuck
15:06Yeah
15:06This is your only idea
15:11Seven
15:12Sixty-eight
15:13Sixty-nine
15:15You're after
15:16Go, Ted
15:17Go, Ted
15:18Todd, my man
15:20Whenever I've got to be
15:21a stone-cold bad bitch
15:23I call him my alter-ego
15:24Stephanie
15:25Oh, yeah
15:25Yeah
15:26This is Steph
15:27You've met her
15:28This, however
15:31Is Stephanie
15:31There's a difference
15:33Oh, there's a difference
15:34It's in the attitude
15:35Check this out
15:36Hey, Tanner
15:37Your locker's been compromised
15:38Clear it out
15:39Ah, fuck me
15:40Not again
15:41Go, Ted
15:42Behind the eyes
15:42No blinking
15:43No throat clears
15:44Monotone
15:45Find an attitude
15:46That works for you
15:48Don't be fucking Todd
15:51Be Todd, Rick
15:53Got it
15:54Say it
15:58I'm Todd, Rick
15:59I'm a stone-cold
16:00I'm a stone-cold
16:01Bad bitch
16:02Yeah, you are, man
16:04You got this
16:08Gotta lay you off
16:09Hey, Todd
16:10I can see your lips moving
16:11But all I can hear
16:12Is nickelback
16:13Oh, yeah
16:16Sometimes you gotta remove
16:17A good stud
16:18To finish the wall
16:19What?
16:20Your voice sounds fucking weird
16:21Oh, is this your attempt
16:22At a boss man voice?
16:25I gotta lay you off
16:26That sucks for you, man
16:28Because I ain't going nowhere
16:33Fuck my life
16:34Yeah, you're gonna have to practice, Todd, Rick
16:36You couldn't lay off that
16:39She's all right
16:41You all right?
16:44Yes
16:47Due to recent economic developments
16:49The price for my silence has increased
16:51Fucker, you better not have told anyone, Dewey
16:54I will screw you to the wall
16:55And throw fucking knives at you
16:57You better not fuck this up for me
16:58Why are you getting told anyone?
17:00Absolutely not
17:01I mean, my God
17:02How many people did you tell me?
17:04Hypothetically
17:04If I had told someone
17:06Then I hypothetically
17:07Would now need some more money
17:09To hypothetically
17:10Not tell more people
17:12As you hypothetically
17:14I'm here by the balls right now
17:15How much more do you need?
17:16Oh, this'll do
17:17Oh, what the fuck, Dewey?
17:18Hey, you remember
17:19I know where you sleep
17:20Unfortunately for you, B-dubs
17:22I now know where you've been sleeping
17:24For fuck's sakes, Dewey
17:25No, Rope
17:26I can't jump the white of silver
17:27Put it down
17:28No, Rope
17:29Get off me
17:31It tastes like birds of power, man
17:33We gotta
17:33Purge it out of him
17:34Before he turns into the team
17:38Fuck it, I'm like
17:40Hey, what the hell's going on here?
17:41You can't jump
17:42Come on
17:43Yeah, yeah, okay
17:43But maybe I don't thought
17:44He slammed the guy, Homer
17:45He's not gonna be okay
17:46Why are you helping?
17:47I mean it
17:47He's gonna be really sick
17:48I'm telling you
17:49Hey, stop it
17:49Stop
17:51Homer
17:52I'm laying you off
17:57Wait, what?
17:59Aw, bummer, man
18:00Break it up
18:01Hey, come on
18:02Thanks for that taste
18:07Maureen kicked me out
18:09She's worried
18:09If I don't talk to someone
18:10I'm gonna build a bunker
18:11But I've already got a bunker
18:12So this would just be like
18:13What, another bunker?
18:15Are you seeing someone about this?
18:18Yeah, I mean
18:19There's a group
18:20Deprogramming programming
18:21We meet every Thursday night
18:23In the basement of this vape shop
18:25Sometimes it's virtual
18:26But basically we all sit in a circle
18:29And say the real stuff out loud
18:32Like chemtrails might not actually exist
18:38They don't
18:38Or the moon landing might have actually happened
18:43It probably did
18:44It's been hard, man
18:45Where have you been staying?
18:47Park my van outside Bob's hardware
18:49There's no nighttime security
18:51Okay
18:52Sometimes I sleep in my shed
18:53Or
18:55Underneath the lunchroom tables
18:57Are you serious?
18:58Homer the fridge helps me sleep
19:00Plus just knowing your food's safe in there
19:02You know?
19:02See, I really think you need some time off
19:05I can't be laid off, you corporate bobblehead
19:07I got Maureen and the kids to support
19:08I get it, and I hate this
19:10But I also have to do my job
19:11You assaulted Roach today
19:13And you probably fucking poisoned him
19:15Like, that is not good
19:16What kind of a fucking idiot chugs
19:17Homer
19:19No, you're right
19:20You're right
19:21Sorry, I'll just
19:22But listen, Homer
19:24That being said
19:26My Wi-Fi's been on the fritz
19:29So call your cable company
19:30Nah, I think it's a Homer problem
19:33My garage has a futon
19:35I mean, Dewey sleeps out there too
19:37Hums in his sleep
19:38It might match the same frequency as the fridge
19:40You troubleshoot my Wi-Fi network
19:42I'll float you a few bucks
19:44And as soon as we need manpower
19:45You're back on my crew
19:50So you got a bunker?
19:51Yeah, but it's mostly just for our winter clothes
19:54And Christmas decorations
19:56Oh, my God
19:56Oh, my God
20:08I'm sorry
20:08Let's go
20:10Oh
20:10Oh, my gosh
20:13Oh, my gosh
20:16Oh, my gosh
20:16Oh, my gosh
20:17Just
20:18Oh, my gosh
20:45Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me?
20:48I'm sorry.
20:49Todd is still up.
20:50No, he's not.
20:51He's living on the couch.
20:53Look.
20:54I made these for you myself.
20:56What are those?
20:57They're handcrafted and beautiful.
20:59Like you.
21:00I made them out of beer tabs of deer teeth.
21:03You can call them beer-ings or deer-ings, whatever you want.
21:08Reddy, you really shouldn't be here.
21:09You don't fucking listen.
21:11I listened.
21:13I just didn't agree.
21:20Joey.
21:20Joey?
21:22Oh, fucking solid.
21:23Are you on our side now?
21:26I'd do worm.
21:28Thanks, blood.
21:29After you, Romeo.
21:37Oh, yeah.
21:39What'd you have?
21:40Nachos?
21:41Close.
21:42Tacos.
21:42That'll teach you.
21:43Don't ever blackmail me again.
21:45I definitely got pink eye in my future.
21:48It's better than two black eyes.
21:50Coming in.
21:50It took me long enough.
21:51Easy does it.
21:53Oh, okay.
21:53Watch it.
21:54That's the worst experience.
21:56What are we talking about?
21:57Two.
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