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Taskmaster - S17E02 - Jumungo [Full Movie] [Ranked]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:02Oh
00:34I
00:36Welcome to taskmaster
00:38The only show on television that conclusively proves that all of life's struggles are ultimately pointless and that the gods
00:44are just toying with us before death
00:47younger viewers
00:49The trials commence let's meet our five competitors from wildly different parts of the globe like the north of England
00:56Dublin the north of England the west of England and the north of England
01:18I'm sitting next to me a man who admitted to me that he photocopied an elderly relative's blue parking badge
01:24So that he could enjoy the Hollywood spaces near the entrance to Tesco
01:38I'm feeling good. I'm looking great. I think I've cracked it. I've got a new health regime. It's so simple.
01:43Honestly, I don't go to the gym
01:44It's just dog walking
01:4645 minutes a day dog walking so the opening section of the show is you you've walked your dog a
01:51bit and you feel like you've lost some weight
01:52No, not quite. No, no 45 minutes dog walking coming to show you. It's just it's like that
02:01Okay, I'm with the price task then jolly good. Yes, you've got it pop it and this week they've brought
02:09in
02:21the most fun thing to turn upside down so there will be five points for the most fun thing to
02:28turn upside down and all five fun things will go home with the episode winner who can keep them whichever
02:31way up they bloody well want
02:33Welcome contestants Steve start with you today. How are you? I'm very well. Thank you puppet. How are you?
02:42What have you brought me you can turn upside down that I'll have fun with a calculator
02:50Yeah, and I approve this message
02:53Do you know the number is eight oh oh eight it's five three one eight double oh eight and here
03:00it is
03:01Yeah, yeah, you turn that upside down. He's saying that I don't like I don't know
03:06Well, I thought you might find boobies a little bit limited so
03:12As well as your boobies well should you go for me I thought it might be nice to compose a
03:20calculator haiku
03:21Oh
03:22Um, so a haiku obviously is a japanese poem with five syllables seven syllables and five syllables we go to
03:28a haiku club every sunday
03:31So this is a calculator haiku big boss gobbles eggs
03:36His hole oozes shizzle
03:39gosh
03:41Beige blobs soil his shoes
03:49Thank you who's next sophie. What have you brought in that's nice turned upside down steak pudding
03:57It's one of a northern delicacies. It's very beautiful poppet
04:01You steam it it's got gravy in the center with steak chunks. Sorry. You ask sophie if she thinks I
04:09don't know what a pie
04:13I
04:14Think you may have missed the point of this
04:16You can't just tell me a thing you like eating
04:19Well, it's the most fun thing to turn upside down
04:22They're very satisfying to pull the tinfoil off. Yeah, thank you
04:26And if you had two of them at the same time
04:29boobies
04:34John
04:35Greg what have you bought us? I have brought in the chicago bulls logo
04:41Are familiar with that lovely big bull? Yes. Why is it going to be fun when I turn it upside
04:45down?
04:45I don't like to curse too much on telly at greg because my mum will be watching this
04:52There's no other way to describe this to you. What happens when you turn it upside down. Okay. It looks
04:57like a robot fucking a crab
05:02That's another of my fantasies
05:04There we go, okay
05:10I don't we watch the positioning it is a sad robot making sweet love to a crab from behind behind
05:18The robot isn't happy about this
05:22The robot is angry
05:26Initiate it because they're obviously moving left to right
05:30Maybe the robots angry because he's got a nasty case of humans
05:41Nick well if you bring up the picture then i'll be able to explain so a friend of my mum's
05:47at the church that she goes to
05:48went on holiday and
05:52Bought them all back these lovely vases
05:56My mum popped some flowers in watered the flowers
06:00And then the following week said to him he's like oh i'm so sorry it's just it is just leaking
06:04and he's like it is a drum
06:07This is a debate but i put it to you that there's not a person in this room who didn't
06:11think why someone put flowers in that drum
06:14That's the opposite of what she thought
06:17I don't know
06:17Joanne yes so you know the way bats they hang normally upside down but if you flip a bat around
06:23so it's facing up when it's upside down
06:26let's start again
06:29Bats sleep upside down bats sleep upside down traditionally what you're saying is if you flip a bat while it's
06:34sleeping
06:34So it looks like it's standing up but it's actually upside down yeah
06:37It looks like kind of a goth disco first of all this is what she's brought in which is a
06:41bat yeah
06:43But what this bat represents is a goth disco yeah demonstrated here by some bats
07:03In the machine
07:06Oh god i'm gonna actually have to think about the points
07:09You just pop pudding at the bottom
07:14I'm gonna give the crab three points and then i'm gonna give the drum four points because i just think
07:20it's adorable and uh the bats are just
07:24haunting and steve's genius should be rewarded for all that work so i'll give bats and steve five points
07:30Oh
07:31Right okay go on i'm steve if i can
07:35Okay let's get going what have you got for me alex a former romanian football player greg because the five
07:42competitors are about to try their hand at petrescu
07:46petrescu they're going to rescue a pet
08:06i'm
08:08like a fantasy of mine is it yeah well we do our best we did a lot of research
08:13I'm aroused.
08:15They're all Greg's. He's quite tender.
08:18That makes sense, yeah. Yeah.
08:20Are they all in his bed at night? Yes.
08:23Good morning, Alex. Hello, John.
08:26This is the task. No envelope.
08:29Missing. Rescue the cat.
08:31Goes by the name patatas.
08:34Goes by the name of patatas, as in patatas bravas.
08:38The cat must come out of the top hole.
08:42There's a hole on the top of the dam.
08:45Is there a claw? Do I have to mine a claw?
08:47It's up to you.
08:48Your head may not enter the dome.
08:52The door must remain closed.
08:55This door. But I've got to keep my head out.
08:59I don't know where the cat is amongst this lot.
09:02Right.
09:04Fastest wins.
09:06Your time starts now, I suppose, eh?
09:08Right, OK. I don't have a clue, actually.
09:10OK, I'm ready.
09:12APPLAUSE
09:15I've always wanted to be in one of those machines.
09:17Have a swim.
09:18Yeah.
09:19And then pulled out by a claw.
09:20Has anyone ever won any on one of those things?
09:23Never.
09:23Yeah, quite often.
09:26It's just technique and practice.
09:27Have you won on one of those things?
09:29OK, let's go.
09:30Let's see them trying to get patatas out of a big dome.
09:33OK.
09:33First up, we're going to see Joanne fulfil her fantasy
09:36and Steve fulfil his contractual obligations.
09:39Here we go.
09:41The door must remain closed.
09:44Oh, my God, it is a claw!
09:47Amazing!
09:49Oh, patatas, patatas.
09:52Have you definitely read all the instructions?
09:54Uh, yes.
09:55Yeah, the door must remain closed.
09:57I'm just seeing that the zip works.
10:00All right, OK.
10:01Let's do it.
10:02No, let's do it the hard way.
10:05So I have to find...
10:06I see the cat there!
10:08God, I wouldn't be rescuing that cat if it was mine.
10:10It looks like a bad job at taxidermy.
10:15OK, so I'm assuming this is relevant in some way.
10:18Ah, right, we've got an opening.
10:21Um, now I thought I saw patatas,
10:24but how do I encourage him to...
10:27Oh, he's got to go out of the top hole.
10:29I'm going to try and fashion a noose for the cat's neck.
10:33He didn't say it had to come out alive,
10:34it just had to come out.
10:37Have you used a ladder before?
10:40Hold on.
10:43OK.
10:44Hold the ladder.
10:49That's a big hook.
10:50It's a big hook.
10:51Big hook for a big job.
10:54OK, come on, patatas.
10:56Be brave us.
10:59Where is he?
11:01Cumin.
11:02If I grab the can and just throw it out the top...
11:07OK, if this goes back in now,
11:09I'm just going to throw myself in front of a car.
11:14Oh!
11:16Oh!
11:17Ah!
11:22I can't go through it all again, I've no hooks left.
11:26I wonder if could I blow him over?
11:32Remember your head can't go in, it's not in at the moment.
11:34Yes, head not in.
11:36Come on, patatas.
11:37Come on.
11:38Oh!
11:41Is that patatas?
11:45OK.
11:48Oh!
11:54Oh, I've stuck the puck, see?
11:57Yeah, all right.
11:59Maybe I could drag it back over.
12:02Yeah.
12:03Oh, this is actually quite good, this thing.
12:05I should have gone with that at the start.
12:09Right, there he is.
12:10The cat must come out of the top of a hole.
12:14Like, the other option is to put rope through the roof and tie it.
12:19OK.
12:20Tie the rope really fucking tight.
12:22Oh, I've got an idea.
12:24Can it go in the top and then come back out?
12:26Oh!
12:27Up we go.
12:30If you fucking detach.
12:39No.
12:42Here we go!
12:46I should acknowledge, come on, patatas, be bravas.
12:50You see, you're coming over to my side now.
12:52I am not.
12:55Joanne, you were very pleased when you came up with the right play today.
12:58I was, yeah.
12:59You were.
12:59And I asked if we could just isolate your facial expression
13:02when you came up with your rope idea.
13:06LAUGHTER
13:07If you didn't know what the task was, that would be a very troubling still.
13:12LAUGHTER
13:15We're back into crab and robot terms.
13:18How did Joanne do?
13:20The task was to rescue the can.
13:21She did all that in 22 minutes, 20 seconds.
13:24Oh, right, good.
13:25I've saved your applause.
13:27LAUGHTER
13:27Bear in mind that Steve did it in 2 minutes 19.
13:31LAUGHTER
13:34Right, time for some adverts now.
13:37BORING!
13:47APPLAUSE
13:50You have returned just in the nick of time.
13:52There's a cat that needs rescuing and he goes by the name of Patatas.
13:56Yes, Patatas keeps getting stuck in the dome, poor thing,
13:59and now it's time for Nick and Sophie to let the cat out of the bag.
14:03OK.
14:04Now, can I go and get some stuff?
14:06OK.
14:06Er, I'm just off to a shed.
14:08Do you know what, sod it, I'm just going to go in.
14:11That's sort of like a cat, isn't it, that fur?
14:14Ah, a cat!
14:15That's actually a cat.
14:17Oh, no, it's a wolf.
14:18LAUGHTER
14:20I can see the cat.
14:22Oh, yeah.
14:23The idea is to sort of make a little pole thing.
14:28I might just go with the panda, you know.
14:30Oh, there he is!
14:31I can see him.
14:33You found Patatas?
14:35I could make, like, a really sticky end.
14:38Make a sticky end?
14:40Yeah.
14:40All right, now we go and have a look in the shed.
14:43I need a fishing rod.
14:45It's about fishing.
14:47It's about fishing.
14:49OK, this looks good.
14:50This looks good.
14:52Right, couple of magnets.
14:53Oh, yeah.
14:54Couple of magnets and a sticky end, I think.
14:56Couple of magnets and a sticky end.
15:00Right, down we go.
15:01In.
15:04I'm so close to the bastard.
15:06Come on!
15:08There you go.
15:15Oh, my God.
15:17Oh, it's actually heavier than it looks.
15:23Now, if I was taller...
15:24Bigger.
15:25Huge-ish.
15:26Bigger.
15:28Bigger.
15:31Bigger.
15:34Bigger.
15:35Bigger.
15:37Bigger.
15:38Bigger.
15:39Bigger.
15:40Bigger.
15:40Bigger.
15:40Bigger.
15:41Bigger.
15:41Bigger.
15:41Bigger.
15:41Bigger.
15:42Bigger.
15:44Bigger.
15:47Bigger.
15:51Bigger.
15:53Bigger.
15:55I think I've done it.
15:57Gosh, come on!
15:59Oh, hang on, it's very heavy, actually.
16:01They didn't say it would be heavy.
16:02Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
16:04Yes, patatas. Right.
16:06Here we go.
16:10So...
16:14Yes!
16:20There you go.
16:21It's safe.
16:23We've rescued the cat in the traditional method of
16:25flinging it onto a roof.
16:28Yes, come on, you little bastard.
16:30Come on.
16:31He's nearly here.
16:33Come on. Woo!
16:34Woo!
16:37We'll stop the pot.
16:38Good work.
16:43I'm glad you rescued patatas.
16:45Yeah. Yeah. You like him?
16:47It's all right. I feel a bit resentful, but...
16:49Yeah, thank you.
16:51APPLAUSE
16:53I got the impression that neither of you
16:56were particularly concerned about
16:57patatas' welfare during that.
16:59Every man for themself, I think, isn't it?
17:02Every cat.
17:03Yeah.
17:04Did it say that we had to protect its welfare?
17:06No, I just think I expected a sort of internal kindness from you.
17:11Yes.
17:12Yeah.
17:14What's Nick's system called?
17:16A couple of magnets and a sticky end.
17:17Ah, yes.
17:19And then you flung it through the hole.
17:21The time was...
17:2214 minutes.
17:2214 minutes.
17:24Sophie took 10 minutes to spot patatas.
17:27LAUGHTER
17:31She took 26 minutes and 6 seconds.
17:34APPLAUSE
17:36One person left.
17:38Famously, cats, cat robins.
17:40But can robins catch cat?
17:45BUZZER
17:46This has got to be something, hasn't it?
17:49What's that for?
17:51Oh!
17:52Why is there that on the end?
17:55Argh!
17:56That's good.
17:57Oh!
17:58Very weak.
18:07Patatas!
18:10Patatas!
18:15I've stopped the fire job.
18:17Bye-bye!
18:18Bye-bye.
18:20APPLAUSE
18:23Can I just add that over the past few minutes of watching
18:27everybody else's, I've been having a very slow-level heart attack
18:30because I thought, did you remember to take it out of the top hole?
18:33You'll be thrilled here, you did pop it out of the right hole.
18:35I did, I missed, yeah.
18:36Panicking.
18:37But...
18:38Unfortunately...
18:39What?!
18:39I do have to disqualify you.
18:41No!
18:42What?!
18:43No, I'm only joking.
18:44Oh, my God!
18:46LAUGHTER
18:49I'm actually sweating!
18:51LAUGHTER
18:53There is, there is slight extra news, though.
18:55No!
18:56We did heavily edit that.
18:58You got very suspicious, first of all, that there was no cat at all.
19:01Then you thought the boxing glove might be a distraction.
19:03Then you opened the grabber, then you went to the shed to look for a hook
19:05and then you came back.
19:06Your total time was 3 minutes 24, which is actually one minute slower than Steve.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:13So the actual timings, Sophie gets one point, obviously.
19:16Two to Joanne, three to Nick, four to John, but five in the end to Steve Pemberton...
19:21APPLAUSE
19:24Scoreboard, please.
19:25Yes, well, we have three people, Joanne, Nick and John, all on seven points,
19:29Sophie's on two and Steve's in the lead with ten points!
19:31Hooray!
19:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:35OK.
19:36Please may we have a team task, Alex?
19:38Oh, yes.
19:39Good shout, Greg-apotamus.
19:41And whoops!
19:42LAUGHTER
19:44And whoopsie, I think we've blown the visual FX budget for the whole series.
19:49Watch this.
20:00Hello.
20:02Oh, hi.
20:06Jesus, John.
20:08You're what?
20:09You're useless, then.
20:10I'm so sorry.
20:12Alex!
20:13Where's Alex?
20:15Do we have to find him?
20:19No.
20:20No.
20:20LAUGHTER
20:22Oh, God.
20:23Woo!
20:25Oh, dear.
20:27A floating envelope and a floating head.
20:29Amazing!
20:31Oh, I caught it.
20:32Well done.
20:34Oh.
20:36Oh.
20:39Are you a green screen?
20:41Yeah, I'm a green screen.
20:42Right.
20:44Do the most epic thing using green material and this green screen onesie.
20:51You have 30 minutes.
20:52Your time starts now.
20:55Why does it only green material, though?
20:57It turns everything invisible.
20:59So...
20:59I don't understand.
21:00Alex, I think we're going to spend about 25 minutes working out what green screen is
21:03and then we're going to come back with a plan.
21:05OK.
21:06Yeah.
21:06My head's going to float away now.
21:08Is it really?
21:09But no, because it's not green behind you.
21:11It doesn't have to be.
21:12Doesn't it?
21:15Well done, Alex.
21:16See you later.
21:19APPLAUSE
21:25There's a certain little smug look you get on your face when you've done a thing you like.
21:29You liked the floating head, didn't you?
21:31Yeah.
21:31I don't understand it either, but it is...
21:33Cos I couldn't see my body at all.
21:34It's so weird.
21:36LAUGHTER
21:38OK, shall we start?
21:39Let's go.
21:39Let's start with the crazy guys.
21:41Nick and Steve and their epic vision.
21:50Pancakes.
21:52Pancakes.
22:00Pancakes.
22:06Pancakes.
22:12Pancakes.
22:16Pancakes.
22:21Pancakes.
22:22Pancakes.
22:38Mmm.
22:47Pancakes.
22:52Mmm.
22:56Pancake?
23:04How is it?
23:06Epic.
23:15Because it was supposed to be the most ambitious thing,
23:17I was thinking, you know, the scale of ambition perhaps could have
23:20been better until the mouth came out.
23:23Just the fact that a wormhole appears.
23:27If I may call your mouth that.
23:31Was there much of a narrative, Steve, in your mind?
23:33I was just trying to give, you know,
23:35man who's decided he wants pancakes and is conjuring them up somehow.
23:38I thought he seemed quite smug.
23:40Yeah.
23:41The pancake guy.
23:43Well, that's just a bit of me coming through.
23:46Right.
23:47Break time.
23:48Close your eyes.
23:49Count to 180 and those nasty little adverts will have disappeared.
23:52Ready?
23:52Go!
24:03Hello and a warm welcome back to part three of Taskmaster.
24:07We're in the middle of a task where they have to do some epic things.
24:10Yeah, man.
24:11While wearing green or blue onesies and using green or blue material,
24:15they can let their imaginations go wild with the endless possibilities
24:18of visual effects.
24:20For example, the team of two made pancakes.
24:24Now, it's the other team's turn to blow us away with their epic visuals.
24:27It's John, Joanne and Sophie.
24:30It's very dull being a Tudor queen.
24:33I just wish something exciting would happen.
24:37Oh.
24:38Oh.
24:39Lick me.
24:40You are.
24:41Lick, lick me.
24:42I'm magic.
24:43You're magic?
24:44Oh, go on then.
24:47Ooh.
24:49Ooh.
24:51Ooh.
24:53Oh, gosh.
24:54Ooh.
24:56Ooh, floating clock.
25:00Ooh.
25:01Oh, God.
25:02Ooh.
25:02Bloody hell.
25:03It's an harmless mannequin.
25:05What time is it?
25:06Oh, God.
25:07I'm about to turn flight, John.
25:10Can't see it, I think.
25:11Ooh.
25:12Ooh, God, I am.
25:13I'm off!
25:14Ooh, blimey.
25:16Ooh!
25:16Ooh, sorry, sorry, sorry, John.
25:18Fucking hell.
25:20Ooh!
25:21Ooh!
25:22I'm right there.
25:22Why?
25:24Ooh!
25:25Come on.
25:26I'm here.
25:28Oh, I'm flying!
25:29Oh, bloody Nora, slow, slow, but good fight.
25:40Ah, the classic cry of the Tudor Queen.
25:44Bloody Nora, I'm flying.
25:48It's actually much better than I remember.
25:51Is it?
25:52If you don't want to see the state of us on the day, it was carnage.
25:56Can I just tell you what I saw as a viewer?
25:59Right.
26:00A Tudor Queen.
26:02She licks a frog.
26:05Six unconnected objects float over her.
26:08And she announces that she's going to fly off and she does.
26:11She tells John she's going to as well.
26:13Yes.
26:15Also, the unconnected items, I would argue they're not as unconnected as you've said.
26:19There's no need to take that withering tone with me.
26:22We've got two different peppers.
26:24A red pepper and a yellow pepper to symbolise heat and the sun.
26:33And then we've got the armless torso to represent...
26:37Toxic masculinity.
26:39Exactly.
26:46Is there any part of you, Steve, that thinks that yours was more epic than the team of three?
26:52Um, no.
26:54Yours was more ambitious, more epic.
26:57Ours was more... better.
27:00APPLAUSE
27:03I'm going to score them both very highly because I enjoyed them both very much.
27:08I'm going to give the team of three one more point.
27:10I'll give them five points and I'll give the beautifully done but sedate pancake journey four points.
27:17There we go. Congratulations everyone.
27:19APPLAUSE
27:23One more task, please, little Alex Horne.
27:25OK.
27:25And now it's time to get hot and sticky in the lab.
27:29Ooh.
27:41Oh, you again.
27:42Hi, John.
27:44Ah, OK.
27:45Yeah, I see what's going on here.
27:47Where is this?
27:49There's no task.
27:51LAUGHTER
27:51What is it?
27:53Where is it?
27:54One thing I don't have...
27:57Jesus, you guys.
28:02Magnus.
28:05Stick the heaviest thing to the board using three of the ingredients on the shelves.
28:20Once you've chosen your ingredients, you may not change your mind.
28:24Heaviest thing that sticks to the board for at least one minute wins.
28:27Have you actually tested any of this though?
28:29Am I elaborate again?
28:31You have 12 minutes and you must choose your thing in the first two minutes.
28:35So you're looking for the heaviest thing to stick to the board and it's got to stay there for a
28:40minute.
28:40And I've got to create some kind of...
28:44Unjuant.
28:45Is that a word?
28:46Sounds good.
28:47Your time starts now.
28:49I have two minutes to decide what thing...
28:51Out of anything in the whole world.
28:53Out of anything in the whole world?
28:55That you can get within two minutes.
28:56OK.
28:58This is science, basically.
29:00This is science?
29:01This is Elon Musk shit.
29:02It really is.
29:05APPLAUSE
29:11What do you say you want, Steven?
29:13An unjuant?
29:14Yes.
29:14I lost confidence in the word halfway through.
29:18Well, I asked Alex to look it up and it means a lubricant for sores.
29:22A lubricant for sores?
29:24Yeah.
29:25What did I mean?
29:26I don't know.
29:27Maybe you were chafing that day.
29:30Who are we going to see now, Alex?
29:32First up here is Sticky Steve, Stick Mohammed and Joanne McTacky.
29:37Here we go.
29:37LAUGHTER
29:40OK.
29:41I went for a big thing of water.
29:45I don't know which is heavier.
29:48There is a set of scales there, if that would help.
29:51Oh, shit!
29:53Are we going with David?
29:55Yeah.
29:55OK.
29:5676 grams.
29:5816 grams.
30:0083.
30:01I'll go with the fish.
30:02I've never adhesed anything before.
30:04Never at all?
30:05No, it's my first time adhesing.
30:07OK.
30:07I'm going to go with Zeta tape with Velcro.
30:11Marmite.
30:12The classic.
30:13What's this?
30:14Can I use this?
30:15What is it?
30:15Silicon.
30:18I'm going to use those.
30:19Velcro.
30:20That.
30:21Styling gel.
30:23And silicon.
30:25Sell the tape shouldn't do it.
30:26Bowl of toffees.
30:28Blue tape.
30:30OK.
30:30So it's toffee, blue tan.
30:31And sell it.
30:32That's it, yeah.
30:33Ah!
30:37OK.
30:38Here we go.
30:39OK.
30:40You've got five minutes, 50.
30:41Ooh.
30:42That's satisfying, isn't it?
30:43There you go.
30:46OK, so...
30:47I mean...
30:53There's only one bit of sellotape.
30:56That is...
30:56Yeah.
31:01Now, I don't know if this is allowed.
31:07But...
31:07I'll sort of put my sock...
31:14That's a big sucker.
31:19Oh, God.
31:20It's not going to work.
31:24It's not going to do it on its own.
31:28You buggers.
31:30Oh, come on!
31:31OK, actually, that's fine.
31:34I'm going to stick that there, just...
31:36What's that?
31:37It's pretty good.
31:41Ah, it's always an awkward bucket.
31:43It's absolutely no good.
31:47It's no good.
31:48I could use some of this.
31:55Are you going to use any more money?
31:57I don't think it's necessary.
32:00Start the clock.
32:01OK, the clock has started.
32:03OK.
32:04It looks quite calm.
32:09Um...
32:09This is...
32:10This is great television.
32:1215 seconds.
32:14Oh, God.
32:16Does the sock even stick?
32:21There you go.
32:22We'll leave that for a minute.
32:23Yeah.
32:2445 seconds gone.
32:26I'm pleased.
32:2810.
32:29I've never spent this long looking at a naked man before.
32:32I thought I'd nailed it for a minute.
32:37Joanne, it's now been there for a minute.
32:39You have succeeded.
32:41And that's a minute.
32:43OK.
32:45So...
32:45I'll see if I can find you a new sock.
32:51One.
32:52You've succeeded.
32:53Oh!
32:55Oh!
32:56Oh!
33:01So your technique would be pick something relatively light...
33:05Yeah.
33:05And just smush it against the board with whatever.
33:07Yeah.
33:08Don't fuck with the system.
33:10Just get it done, get out.
33:12I could smell the lunch.
33:16You relied on...
33:18Blu-Tack.
33:19Blu-Tack and a chewy toffee.
33:21And you think that gave extra stability to the statue of David?
33:24Yeah.
33:24I think so.
33:25I think that bit of toffee right in his crack...
33:28LAUGHTER
33:30..was the unjunct that he needed.
33:32That's it.
33:34From time to time on this show, we start out watching an adult
33:38doing a task, and what we end up witnessing is a full breakdown.
33:42LAUGHTER
33:43You abandoned your idea with the water bottle.
33:45You used Velcro to attach a sock, which is not the intended object.
33:49And more pertinently, not a heavy object.
33:52Mm.
33:52And it didn't stick anyway.
33:55Then you smeared hair gel and silicone at the sides of it.
33:58Mm.
33:59And then that fell off.
34:01Now...
34:01What...
34:02What part of that makes you think I'm mad?
34:05LAUGHTER
34:06I genuinely found myself feeling sorry for you.
34:09You're like...
34:09In a way that would have get me some points?
34:11No.
34:12LAUGHTER
34:13Did he get it to stick for a while?
34:15Not the bottle, no.
34:16The bottle was...
34:17He chose the bottle.
34:18It didn't stick.
34:18I don't think he did the task.
34:20He didn't.
34:21Well, I imagine that Joanne's fish is as light as a feather.
34:24No, it's as light as four mice.
34:26I tell you, I lack ambition.
34:2886 grams, four mice.
34:29Steve's, 33 and a half mice.
34:31713 grams.
34:32Nice.
34:33One part left to go, and in it, someone will go home
34:37with a biggish calculator.
34:39Come on.
34:39We'll see you in a minute.
34:48APPLAUSE
34:52Hello.
34:53And welcome back.
34:55And to our Welsh viewers, also hello.
34:58LAUGHTER
34:59There's a task in the lab which still needs completion.
35:02Sticky Alex?
35:03Oh, yes, Greg, but that's what happens when Daddy forgets to talc me.
35:06T-t-t-t.
35:07LAUGHTER
35:09Coincidentally, the task in play is also a sticky one.
35:11Finally, Sophie and John take to the board.
35:14Have you chosen your item?
35:16I've chosen my item and I'm now questioning it a lot.
35:18It's a star that's coming off the wall.
35:21Great.
35:22OK.
35:22OK.
35:23I'll select the thing.
35:24I'm going to go chopping board.
35:25That's a big star.
35:27Yeah.
35:27Yeah.
35:27But I think the trick is something here, you see, could actually...
35:35Not gone well.
35:36Please don't hurt yourself.
35:37Not gone well.
35:38It's quite heavy.
35:39It's probably too heavy.
35:41Should have picked it up first.
35:43So we're starting with sew tape and Velcro?
35:45Yep.
35:46OK.
35:46I think I went too big, didn't I?
35:48Well, it's massive.
35:49Yeah.
35:50I got greedy.
35:52Right.
35:53This is very silly, but I'm going to just try this,
35:55because I wonder if you put enough of these on,
35:58whether it actually holds.
36:00I didn't think I was a competitive person,
36:02but something's happened to me over the time I've been doing this
36:06and I've fundamentally changed as a person, I think.
36:09LAUGHTER
36:13Right.
36:16Surprising, isn't it?
36:18Right, let's give this a go.
36:20It's an initial...
36:22An initial go.
36:27Start the clock, please.
36:28Clock.
36:29Start the clock, please.
36:31Clock's going.
36:34I've actually smashed the shit out of this.
36:37To be honest, we were all surprised.
36:40I wasn't expecting that.
36:42That is absolutely bloody fabulous.
36:47While that's happening, we're going to pick two more.
36:50Oh, but I haven't got any liquid.
36:52Son of a bitch!
36:55I'll just put some nice sweets around,
36:58for whoever might fancy one.
37:00That's lovely, isn't it?
37:02It is wonderful.
37:03We're just going to get the flour into honey.
37:07All right, we're going...
37:07We're going with flour, honey and blue tape.
37:10Oh, this might not be a bad idea, actually.
37:13This looks just like glue.
37:15There's engineers watching this, going,
37:17he's absolutely nailed this.
37:19I think, for centuries,
37:23humankind has been mixing.
37:25No, that's absolute crap.
37:29It has been up there for a minute now.
37:32That's fantastic, isn't it?
37:33See you later.
37:34Bye-bye.
37:36All right, here's a case of dotting the paste.
37:39I think what I'm doing here is making the chopping board heavier.
37:44Five, four, three, two, one.
37:49Please let go.
37:49Start the timer, please.
37:55How long have we got now?
37:5520 seconds.
37:56Shit the bed!
37:57Shit the bed!
37:58Shit the bed!
37:59Shit the bed!
38:08Well, you summed it up yourself, really, didn't you?
38:11Yeah.
38:11I've absolutely smashed the shit out of this.
38:13I think my intelligence may lie in manual labour.
38:19Structural integrity, I fucking knew.
38:22You're talking with the passion of a turn-of-the-century mill worker.
38:27It was a very heavy start.
38:29It was 3.3 kilograms.
38:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:35John, I had such hope for you.
38:38At one point, I thought,
38:39this man is going to be the face of Blu-Tack if you're going to say this.
38:43I think I forgot you could pick anything in the world
38:46to stick to the whiteboard.
38:48Yeah.
38:48And I suddenly fixated on the stuff that was in front of me
38:51and solely the chopping board.
38:53And you used honey and flour to try and...
38:55Was it honey?
38:56Well, after the Blu-Tack failed, he said,
38:58we're now entering the world of paste.
39:02Let's give some points out.
39:04Nick and John both chose heavy things
39:06but didn't manage to stick them on.
39:08So it's zero points to John and Nick.
39:09Joanne, you get a full three points for your 85 grand fish.
39:12Keep it simple.
39:14Steve, four points.
39:15But Sophie's was four times heavier than his.
39:18Wow.
39:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:23Let's see a scoreboard, shall we?
39:25OK.
39:25Well, Nick at the bottom, I'm afraid, with 11 points,
39:28and Steve at the top with 18 points at the moment.
39:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:35Very good.
39:35Right, can you please all head to the stage
39:37for the final task of the show?
39:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:44Hi there, babycakes.
39:46That's me.
39:47Who's reading Task Out?
39:49Sophie Willen.
39:50Guess the movie that your team-mate is saying.
39:53Your team-mate can only say the first three letters
39:56of each word of the movie title.
39:59Most movies in each round wins.
40:02One member of the team will go inside the movie booth
40:04and they'll pop their head through the little hole.
40:07I will show you some cards with movie titles in
40:09and they will also have the first three letters of each word.
40:12So, if it said Jurassic Park, it will also say Jura-pa.
40:15And all you're allowed to say is Jura-pa, Jura-pa, Jura-pa.
40:19Three rounds.
40:20The team of two are going to go first.
40:21Nick, please enter the booth.
40:26OK, good luck, everyone.
40:28Your time starts when I reveal the first card.
40:31OK, OK.
40:31Good luck.
40:32And off we go.
40:33The nut pro.
40:34The nut...
40:35The nutty professor.
40:36Yeah.
40:37Pulp fic.
40:39Pulp Fiction.
40:40Or...
40:41Bam...
40:42Bambi.
40:43Fi...
40:44clue.
40:46Fig clue.
40:48Big clue.
40:50Big clue.
40:51Clue.
40:52Five clue.
40:52Five clue.
40:54Five clue two?
40:54Five club.
40:55Five club.
40:56Yes.
40:57The...
40:57The sum abo...
41:00The something about...
41:02The something about Mary.
41:03Yes.
41:05Say Priere.
41:09Say, say, Pryoran.
41:18They scored a total of six movies.
41:21Not bad. Not bad.
41:28You're ready. OK. Good luck, Sophie. Thank you.
41:31Your time starts now.
41:33Do!
41:34Goldfinger.
41:35Goo.
41:36Pass.
41:38The goo.
41:42The goo. The goo.
41:45Goonies.
41:46Yes. The Goonies.
41:47Tight.
41:49Titanic.
41:50One. One. One. One.
41:53Wonder Woman.
41:54One. One. One. One.
41:57One. One. One.
41:59Mooroo.
42:00Mooroo.
42:01He.
42:02Pete.
42:04The Shawrat.
42:05Shawshack Ravisher.
42:06Yes.
42:07Seven.
42:08Seven.
42:09The Boo Eid.
42:11The Ball Identity.
42:12Yes.
42:14Oh.
42:14One.
42:15One.
42:19Only one class.
42:20It was Goodfellas.
42:22Goodfellas.
42:23That team scored a total of eight movies.
42:25Wow.
42:27One.
42:27One.
42:28One.
42:29Time for C.
42:29One.
42:30One.
42:30One.
42:33One.
42:37One.
42:43One.
42:45One.
42:47One.
42:47One.
42:48One.
42:48One.
42:49One.
42:50One.
42:50One.
42:51One.
42:52One.
42:53One.
42:55One.
42:56One.
42:57Imp. Mr. Impress... Mr. Incredible.
43:00Miss... Imp. Miss... Imp.
43:03Mission Impossible.
43:07They scored six movies. There we are.
43:12APPLAUSE
43:12Go on, please.
43:14Hello, Alex. Hello, John.
43:18Thor. Fortham. Thor.
43:21Thor.
43:23Bat-san. Bat-santa.
43:26Snap. Snatch.
43:29Bat-beg. Bat-big.
43:33Bat-man-big-man. Bat-big.
43:37Bat-man...
43:38Beg. Bat-man begins.
43:40The boar sup...
43:43The boar in supremacy.
43:45Jum... Jumongo.
43:48Jum... Jumongo.
43:50Meet the pair.
43:52Meet the parents.
43:53The usual sus.
43:54The usual suspects.
43:57Mrs. Dow.
43:59Dow was tired of her.
44:01They got eight.
44:02Congratulations.
44:05Well done.
44:07Can I ask which cinema I can see?
44:09Batman-big-man ends.
44:11And if that's sold out,
44:13can I see Jumongo somewhere?
44:15LAUGHTER
44:16We are going to make it harder in round three.
44:18Oh, no.
44:19We're now going to say the last three letters of each movie.
44:21What?!
44:22Wow.
44:23Yeah.
44:24Nick, please enter the booth for a second time.
44:25This is terrifying.
44:26Time starts now.
44:28Roy.
44:29Rob Roy.
44:31Roy.
44:32Roy.
44:34Roy.
44:35Roy.
44:36Roy.
44:36Pass.
44:38Ron-man.
44:40Ron-man.
44:41Ron-man.
44:41Something wrong, something man.
44:42Ron-man.
44:43Something...
44:44Iron Man.
44:45Yes!
44:46Eid.
44:48Eid.
44:49Eid.
44:50Eid.
44:50Eid.
44:51Speed.
44:52Yes.
44:52Old Town Cat.
44:55Old Town Cat.
44:56Old Town Market.
44:58Old...
44:58No.
44:59Old Town Cat.
45:01Old Town Cat.
45:03Full Metal Jacket.
45:04Yes!
45:05Eid.
45:08Eid.
45:09They've got three.
45:10They did not get Roy.
45:11Roy.
45:12It is Roy.
45:13Out you come, Nick.
45:14Out you come.
45:14Do you want, please?
45:16Enter the booth.
45:16So it's three to beat.
45:17If they do that, it's a whitewash.
45:19OK.
45:19Happy?
45:20Yeah.
45:20You don't look comfy.
45:23Don't you've got a body normally.
45:26It's a lot, the face on its own.
45:28It is a bit.
45:29It's the last three letters.
45:30Starting now.
45:32Iron...
45:32The...
45:33Iron-ing.
45:36The...
45:36Iron-ing.
45:37The Shining.
45:38No.
45:39Iron-ing.
45:41The...
45:41Pass.
45:44B.
45:45B.
45:46B.
45:48Speed.
45:48It's more difficult than speed.
45:51Try that one for a laugh.
45:53Erm...
45:53That was...
45:54For fuck's sake.
45:55This is...
45:56Ang-ang.
45:57Oh, kiss kiss bang.
45:58Yeah!
45:59They got one.
46:00That was amazing.
46:01That was a tough line.
46:03Well...
46:03Yeah.
46:04The Iron-ing.
46:05You will kick yourself.
46:05Steve's got it.
46:06The Lion King.
46:07The Lion King.
46:08And Barbie was B.
46:10Oh, come on!
46:12That means team three got two, the team of two got one!
46:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:17Come down and join me.
46:18We'll have that back to the final score.
46:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:24Very tight game in the end.
46:262-1.
46:26Well, they clawed one back.
46:27Five points to the team of three.
46:29Yes.
46:30Three points to the others.
46:31Which means...
46:32Nick?
46:33Yes.
46:34You came last.
46:35LAUGHTER
46:35Tight at the top, though.
46:37Joanne, a massive 20 points.
46:39But the winner for a second week in a row is Steve with 21 points!
46:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:00WONDSB4
47:01wanna be?
47:01Yeah!
47:27Wait then
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