- 23 hours ago
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I learned my fiancé had been married to my best friend for five years on our marriage certificate day.
00:06On Valentine's Day, I linked arms with Jasper and walked into the city hall to register our marriage,
00:12then frowned and looked at my fiancé.
00:13Mr. Hale, you'll need to finalize your divorce before you can register a new marriage.
00:18The world detonated somewhere behind my eyes.
00:23Oh, right. I think I accidentally got married five years ago.
00:28Who? We had been together for almost ten years.
00:32Vivian Shaw.
00:33That was my best friend's name.
00:34Vivian, who collected boyfriends the way other people collected speeding tickets.
00:39Never keeping one longer than a month, always juggling at least five at a time.
00:44When he saw me trembling, Jasper opened a video call without a word.
00:49Vivian's impatient voice filled the room before her face even loaded.
00:53Why are you calling early? It's not time for our meetup yet this month.
00:56Vivian had been living abroad for years.
00:59I had only ever saw her face on a screen for years.
01:03Jasper angled the phone until the camera found me.
01:06On the screen, Vivian was draped across two men I didn't recognize.
01:10Nina! What are you doing there?
01:13We're at City Hall, getting married.
01:27She launched into a cheerful stream of insults aimed at Jasper.
01:31I couldn't hear any of it.
01:33There was a ringing in my ears that drowned out everything.
01:36In my memory, Vivian and Jasper had never been able to stand each other.
01:41I was the only thing that had ever kept the peace between them.
01:44And yet, legally, they had been husband and wife for five years.
01:50Vivian, did you forget something?
01:52You forgot to divorce me.
01:56She scrambled to pick it up, and when her face reappeared, it wore the exact same blank,
02:01unbothered expression as his.
02:03Oh, right, that.
02:04Hold on, I'll fly back tonight.
02:06I opened my mouth, closed it.
02:08It was already too late.
02:10We didn't speak on the way home.
02:14Inside, Jasper reached out to ruffle my hair the way he always had.
02:19His hand hung in the air between us, awkward and lost.
02:22Why?
02:25He pulled his hand back and lit a cigarette like nothing had happened.
02:29It was an accident.
02:31Five years ago, around this time, we both drank too much at some party.
02:37Our friends thought it would be funny to dare us to get married on the spot.
02:42When we woke up the next morning, we both just forgot about it.
02:48Something surged up from my stomach.
02:50I pressed my back against the wall and dry heaved.
02:52It was a long time before I could wipe my eyes.
02:55What did she mean it wasn't time for your meetup yet?
02:58We see each other once a month.
03:01Sometimes she comes back, sometimes I fly out.
03:06An absurdity so vast it had its own gravity settled over me.
03:12Vivian had been abroad for years.
03:13I could only see her on a screen.
03:19When was the last time?
03:21The 17th.
03:23Last month.
03:25The 17th.
03:26Our anniversary.
03:28I had taken the day off work.
03:30I baked a cake by myself and burned my hand on the oven rack.
03:33Then his text came,
03:34Working late.
03:35So sorry.
03:36I waited from morning until the sun went down.
03:38In the end, I ate the cold dinner alone at our table,
03:41pretending hard enough that it almost felt like he was there.
03:44The tears came all at once,
03:46enormous and unstoppable.
03:48Jasper reached over and wiped them away,
03:50gentle as he'd always been.
03:53I wasn't trying to hide it from you.
03:55We worked things out between us a long time ago.
03:58I just didn't know how to tell you.
03:59The soft t-shirt I was wearing suddenly felt like it was strangling me.
04:02I shoved him away and tore through the room,
04:05glasses,
04:06books,
04:06anything I could reach.
04:09Get out!
04:10Get out, Jasper!
04:11You make me sick!
04:12A shard of glass sliced past his temple.
04:15Okay.
04:17Calm down.
04:18There is nothing going on between me and Vivian.
04:21If I wanted her,
04:22do you think you'd even be here?
04:24She comes back tonight,
04:25we file the divorce,
04:26and then you and I get married.
04:28That's it.
04:29He walked out without looking back.
04:33I pressed my palms over my face and started to laugh.
04:36I laughed until the room spun.
04:38Until the tears wouldn't stop.
04:40When I came downstairs the next morning,
04:42Vivian was curled up on the couch.
04:45Nina, you're up early.
04:47Did I wake you?
04:48She was my best friend.
04:49Even after all those years abroad,
04:51she still had a key to our place.
04:53She always had.
04:54But when Vivian bounced up and threw her arms around me,
04:57all I could think about was those two names
04:58glowing on the marriage registry screen.
05:00My stomach turned over and over.
05:03I couldn't stop the thoughts.
05:04How many times had they been here?
05:06In this apartment,
05:07while I was away?
05:09Every time Jasper said he was working late,
05:11was he here?
05:12With her?
05:12In our home?
05:14I ran for the bathroom and didn't stop until I was on the floor,
05:17arms around the toilet.
05:18When I finally managed to stand,
05:20Jasper and Vivian were in the doorway,
05:22side by side,
05:23wearing the exact same worried expression.
05:25I laughed,
05:26short and sharp,
05:27like something tearing.
05:28They even looked like a couple.
05:30Vivian's brow creased.
05:32She kicked Jasper hard in the shin.
05:34I trusted you to take care of her.
05:36This is what you call taking care of her?
05:38Since when is she yours to guess it?
05:41Since when is she yours to give away?
05:43Keep it up,
05:44and I'll take her back overseas.
05:46You'll never see her again.
05:48They were off,
05:49the two of them trading blows
05:50like they'd been doing their whole lives.
05:52Except I was supposed to be the subject of this conversation.
05:55I was still barely holding myself upright against the wall.
05:58They couldn't see me at all.
06:00As if this apartment only had room for the two of them.
06:03That was when it finally,
06:04slowly,
06:05landed.
06:06In their world,
06:07I had never been anything more than a supporting character.
06:10By the time I met them,
06:11the two of them had already been at each other's throats since kindergarten.
06:14I was 12 when my family moved into the gated community.
06:17Most of the kids there were third or fourth generation money.
06:20I was the daughter of a man who'd made his fortune overnight,
06:23new money,
06:24rural roots,
06:24and no amount of coaching could scrub the roughness out of me.
06:27They looked down on me.
06:28They were also too smart to make an enemy of me outright.
06:31When I got into the same private school,
06:33the quiet exclusion got worse.
06:35The kind that leaves no marks.
06:37That was when Vivian and Jasper found me.
06:39I knew Vivian first.
06:41She'd mentioned her rival.
06:42That rival turned out to be my new desk partner.
06:45Their families had been close for five generations,
06:48neighbors and business partners.
06:49Even a childhood betrothal once,
06:51a match their parents had called off after Vivian and Jasper's fighting got so bad it couldn't be ignored anymore.
06:56The Shaws were the kind of family that never believed in rules,
06:59and Vivian had grown up knowing it.
07:00By the time she was an adult,
07:02nothing had changed,
07:03she never had fewer than five boyfriends running at the same time.
07:06Jasper was the opposite.
07:08The Hale family was old and serious,
07:10their name carrying weight in every room.
07:12Vivian mocked him constantly for being rigid,
07:14traditional,
07:15buttoned up.
07:16He called her reckless.
07:17She called him a fossil.
07:18The only time they could be in the same room without someone ending up hurt was when I was between
07:23them.
07:23In high school they once went to their parents,
07:25both sets of them,
07:26to fight over who got to sit with me at dinner.
07:28They threatened each other with stock holdings.
07:30I had to talk them both down from opposite ends of the argument.
07:34And it took the better part of an evening.
07:36Everyone said I was lucky.
07:38Protected by both heirs.
07:39Because of them,
07:40my path through that world had been smoother than it had any right to be.
07:43The day Jasper told me he liked me,
07:46I called Vivian and talked her ear off until sunrise.
07:48She spent the whole night insulting him.
07:51The next morning,
07:52they both disappeared for a few hours.
07:54When they turned up again,
07:55they were both bruised badly enough that the school called all three families in.
07:59The older generation still tells that story at dinner parties.
08:02They were like opposing poles,
08:04push them together and they'd fly apart.
08:06Only I had ever held them in the same orbit.
08:08When did it become like this?
08:09Had Jasper always loved Vivian?
08:12Drawn to her freedom,
08:13unable to forgive her wildness?
08:15And had I always been the acceptable substitute?
08:17I dried my eyes and cut into the middle of their argument.
08:20I looked at Vivian.
08:23Forgetting to file for divorce for a day,
08:25a week,
08:26a month?
08:27Fine.
08:28I could believe that.
08:30But five years,
08:32Vivian?
08:33Was it on purpose?
08:34She opened her mouth carefully.
08:37We were both so drunk that night.
08:40Then how did you both remember the second I brought it up?
08:44You never forgot.
08:47Not for a single second.
08:51Jasper's face darkened.
08:52He shifted and stepped in front of her.
08:54That's enough, Nina.
08:56Look at yourself.
08:57He glanced at me,
08:58shaking,
08:59hair undone,
08:59and softened his voice.
09:01Barely.
09:02Stop making things up.
09:03Vivian and I are going to City Hall right now.
09:05Come back when you've calmed down.
09:08Don't bother.
09:11I'm leaving.
09:13Congratulations to you both.
09:18You're being hysterical, Nina.
09:20We'll be back in an hour.
09:21Try to act like an adult.
09:25Like he was the one who had a right to be angry.
09:27What was he angry about?
09:29My distrust?
09:30After five years of lying to my face,
09:32he still expected my trust?
09:36Then I grabbed my bag and went to the biggest bar I could find.
09:40All day,
09:40my phone never rang once.
09:42I came home past midnight,
09:44reeking of alcohol.
09:45Sound drifted from the guest room,
09:46low,
09:47breathless,
09:48unmistakable.
09:49Through the gap in the door,
09:50barely open.
09:53You knew this would destroy her.
09:55Why did you do it anyway?
09:58Jasper's hands gripped her shoulders,
10:00and there were tears on his face.
10:02This is the last time!
10:06Vivian,
10:07take our son and stay over Sears.
10:09Don't come back.
10:11Don't let Nina see you again.
10:13Pain and guilt moved through both of them at the same moment.
10:16They pulled each other close
10:17and held on like it was the end of everything.
10:19My mind went completely white.
10:21A child.
10:23A child.
10:24They had a child together.
10:27I wanted to laugh,
10:28at myself,
10:29at how thoroughly I'd been deceived,
10:30at how little I had known.
10:32But all I could do was press both hands over my mouth
10:34until I couldn't breathe,
10:35until the darkness came.
10:36I woke up in a hospital room I recognized.
10:39Jasper and Vivian were on either side of my bed,
10:42watching me with the same anxious face.
10:43Nina,
10:44when you got home last night,
10:46did you hear anything?
10:47No.
10:48I drank too much.
10:50I passed out the second I walked in.
10:52They both exhaled at the same time.
10:54Something vast and empty opened up inside me.
10:58Vivian reached over and rested her hand on my stomach,
11:01her expression shifting to something scolding.
11:03Nina,
11:04you know you can't drink when you're pregnant, right?
11:07Every part of me went still.
11:09Why now?
11:10Why like this?
11:12What?
11:13Jasper looked more shocked than I was.
11:15The doctor told me just now.
11:18Vivian pressed her lips together into a small,
11:20helpless smile.
11:22But Jasper,
11:23Jasper lit up.
11:24A first-time father's joy,
11:26unguarded and complete,
11:27oblivious to anything else in the room.
11:29He and Vivian immediately began arguing about the baby's last name.
11:32I was pushed to the edge of the scene,
11:34as if the pregnant one wasn't me.
11:36I forced a smile and was about to say something
11:38when a small voice came from the doorway.
11:40Daddy.
11:41Mommy.
11:42The hospital room stopped breathing.
11:44Both of them went rigid.
11:46Jasper looked at me instinctively,
11:47and I couldn't look away from the boy in the doorway,
11:50the boy who was Jasper's face,
11:51seven parts out of ten.
11:53The resemblance was too precise.
11:55There was no version of denial that could survive it.
11:58Nina,
11:58that's...
11:59Jasper started to speak,
12:00but the boy had already launched himself into his arms.
12:03Daddy,
12:04my head hurts.
12:05A man in a butler's uniform appeared behind him,
12:08bowing apologetically toward Vivian.
12:10I'm so sorry, ma'am.
12:12The young master kept asking for parents,
12:15and when he threatened to stop eating,
12:17I had no choice.
12:18That's enough.
12:22I told you I'd be back in two days.
12:26Who said you could come here on your own?
12:28Finley.
12:29What a good name.
12:30I wish I hadn't been the one to come up with it.
12:32When I was younger,
12:33I used to imagine having a child with Jasper someday.
12:36Boy or girl,
12:37I always said I'd name them Finley,
12:39and now he had given that name to someone else's child.
12:42A sharp,
12:43tearing pain moved through my lower abdomen.
12:45Finley had started to cry quietly.
12:47Jasper snapped at Vivian without thinking.
12:52Don't talk to him like that.
12:55He's burning up.
13:01Jasper,
13:02Vivian,
13:03I'm in pain.
13:05I lay there,
13:06lips white,
13:07voice barely a sound.
13:08No one heard me.
13:10I reached up and pressed the call button on the bed rail,
13:12a bitter smile pulling at my mouth.
13:14No one looked back.
13:15For the next few days,
13:17Jasper and Vivian moved carefully between my room
13:19and Finley's back and forth,
13:21back and forth.
13:22Every time I tried to bring up breaking up,
13:24Jasper talked over me.
13:25The last time,
13:26Vivian wasn't in the room.
13:28A thread of impatience finally showed in his voice.
13:31Regardless of everything,
13:32Finley is my son.
13:34He'll be our child's older brother.
13:36Nina,
13:37can you just try to be bigger than this?
13:40My whole body had gone cold.
13:42The man in front of me was like a stranger.
13:45Before I could get a single word out,
13:47Vivian's voice tore through the door.
13:48Jasper,
13:49Finley is gone.
13:50Get out here and help me find him.
13:53So Jasper left.
13:54Leave me alone again.
13:56I closed my eyes.
13:57A moment later,
13:58the blanket suddenly shifted.
14:00The missing Finley was standing at my bedside,
14:02staring at me with wide,
14:04uncertain eyes.
14:05Miss Nina,
14:05you're my dad and mom's best friend,
14:07right?
14:08Can you take me to get a cupcake?
14:11They say I'll get cavities eating it,
14:15but I really,
14:16really can't help it.
14:17It was very hard to say no to that small,
14:20cute face.
14:20The bakery was just across from the hospital.
14:23We were crossing the street when Finley suddenly grabbed my hand and stopped walking.
14:27His voice was still soft and small.
14:30Miss Nina,
14:32can you go to the hell?
14:34If you were dead,
14:36daddy wouldn't have to sneak around to see mommy anymore.
14:40I want to see who daddy chooses,
14:42you or me and mommy.
14:44He shoved me with everything he had.
14:47I went into the traffic.
14:49The last thing I saw was Jasper and Vivian's faces,
14:52horror breaking them both open at once.
14:55Several cars tore past me,
14:56close enough to feel.
14:58My mind drifted without direction.
15:00If I actually died,
15:01would they grieve?
15:02Or would they feel relief settling in quietly,
15:05like a window finally opened?
15:08Without me,
15:09Jasper and Vivian could be together in the open.
15:11No more monthly secrets.
15:13No more hiding.
15:14I thought of the night I stood outside that guest room door,
15:17their bodies tangled together,
15:18shattered,
15:19desperate.
15:19Like there was no one else left in the world but the two of them.
15:22They shared a pain I was never part of,
15:24and I was the one who had caused it.
15:26After I lost consciousness,
15:28I passed through the ICU more times than I could count.
15:31Each time,
15:31the doctors issued the same warning,
15:33critical condition.
15:34A month later,
15:36I returned to something close to awareness.
15:38I couldn't move.
15:39I could just lay in the bed and listen.
15:41Every day,
15:42I could hear Vivian crying like something inside her was breaking in half.
15:46The first day my arm could lift.
15:47All three of them were in my room at once.
15:50Jasper had forced Finley to his knees at my bedside,
15:52one firm hand on his shoulder.
15:54Finley wept,
15:55furious and unrepentant.
15:56I didn't do anything wrong.
15:58I just wanted to know,
16:00would dad choose her,
16:02the vicious woman,
16:03or me and mom?
16:05The sound of her palm connecting with Finley's cheek rang through the empty room.
16:09Finley,
16:09I am telling you,
16:11if anything happens to Nina,
16:13it won't just be your father who walks away.
16:16I will too.
16:18You'll have no one.
16:20You'll be homeless!
16:22Finley hit the floor.
16:24He stared up at the two people he called his parents as if he had never seen them before.
16:28His lips trembled.
16:30Oh!
16:31I hate you!
16:32You're not my parents anymore!
16:35You're both terrible people!
16:38Finley,
16:39keep your voice down.
16:40She's sleeping.
16:42I listened to all of it,
16:43and felt nothing ease inside me.
16:45They must love this child deeply.
16:47How else could a child become so casually,
16:50genuinely cruel?
16:51He wasn't really like either of them,
16:52in the end.
16:53Finley bolted from the room.
16:55Jasper and Vivian both called his name and ran after him.
16:58I knocked my water glass off the nightstand.
17:00It shattered.
17:01I opened my eyes in silence.
17:03Both of them stopped mid-step.
17:05For the first time,
17:06they chose me over Finley.
17:08Nina,
17:09you're awake.
17:11Do you have any idea how scared we were when the doctors said there was a chance you'd never wake
17:16up?
17:17I kept thinking,
17:19if you never came back,
17:21I would still write your name into the Hale family records.
17:24After everything.
17:26After all of it.
17:28When we're gone,
17:29we'd still be buried side by side.
17:31I swore it.
17:32All I felt was nausea.
17:34Ridiculous.
17:35How was it possible that this man still believed that I would never leave him?
17:38Buried together?
17:39As if I'd want his name following me into whatever came next.
17:43Vivian gripped my other hand.
17:44She was crying too hard to speak.
17:47Only a broken,
17:48forced sorry kept forcing its way out of her throat.
17:50I looked at their faces,
17:51both wrecked with regret,
17:53and felt absolutely nothing.
17:54Like my heart had forgotten how.
17:56I pulled my hands back,
17:58calm as still water.
18:00Jasper,
18:01Vivian,
18:02let me go.
18:03Don't look for me after this.
18:10They both went still,
18:11and I noticed something almost funny.
18:13Growing up together had made them mirror each other in ways they'd never seen.
18:16Small expressions.
18:18The same angle of stillness.
18:20Vivian bent over the side of my bed and wept without stopping.
18:23She was usually immaculate.
18:25But during the weeks she'd spent here,
18:27she had stopped caring about any of that.
18:29Her hair was undone.
18:31Her face was raw from crying.
18:32Nina,
18:33if you don't want Finling around,
18:35I swear I'll keep him overseas forever.
18:38He will never be in front of you again.
18:41Her voice was in pieces.
18:42He was never supposed to happen.
18:44I watched her quietly.
18:46After a long moment,
18:48What about me?
18:49I nearly died.
18:50Does that just get forgiven and forgotten?
18:53And my baby is gone.
18:56Jasper dropped to his knees.
18:58Nina,
19:00he's still my son.
19:02I won't claim him,
19:03but can you let this one thing go?
19:10Just this.
19:11I felt perfectly calm.
19:13So I nodded.
19:15Fine.
19:16Transfer the money.
19:18What?
19:19The legal compensation amount.
19:22Wire it to my account.
19:25After that,
19:26we're square.
19:33I know I was wrong.
19:35I know it.
19:36Please,
19:37Nina.
19:38Give me one more chance.
19:40I won't see Vivian again.
19:42I promise.
19:43Never again.
19:45Please.
19:47Vivian had been pushed to the floor.
19:49She didn't have the strength to get up.
19:51They were both afraid.
19:52The doctor walked in,
19:54furious,
19:55and pulled Jasper off me.
19:56Are you trying to hurt her?
19:58She's unstable.
19:59She could go under at any moment.
20:02Doctor,
20:03can I have a wash?
20:04I feel dirty,
20:05where he touched.
20:07Jasper's face went gray,
20:08slowly,
20:09like light leaving a room.
20:11I turned to Vivian.
20:13She was staring at nothing,
20:14murmuring fragments under her breath.
20:17Nina,
20:18I'm sorry.
20:18I didn't mean for any of this.
20:21Vivian.
20:22Be honest with me.
20:25Is there really nothing there?
20:28No feeling at all?
20:29Vivian's lips started to shake.
20:31I kept going,
20:32the way you talk about someone else's story.
20:35It can't be nothing.
20:37Every guy you've ever been with,
20:39you were done in under a month.
20:41Always.
20:43So how did you stay married to someone
20:45you supposedly hated for five whole years?
20:49He couldn't stand your wildness.
20:52You couldn't stand his control.
20:54So staying half connected
20:55was the safest place for both of you,
20:57wasn't it?
20:59But why did your little game
21:01have to involve me?
21:03You both decided I could never leave,
21:06that I'd been too dependent on you
21:08since the beginning.
21:09So even if I found out,
21:11what was I going to do?
21:14Where else would I find people
21:15as useful as you two?
21:19No, it wasn't like that.
21:21Vivian shook her head desperately,
21:23tears spilling through her fingers.
21:26It just happened.
21:28We couldn't stop it.
21:30I was done listening.
21:32After that,
21:33they became perfectly,
21:35carefully obedient.
21:36Jasper and Vivian stopped trading words.
21:39They stopped making eye contact.
21:40The easy rhythm they'd always had
21:42with each other, gone.
21:43After all these years,
21:45they had finally become strangers.
21:46At the cost of a life
21:47that had never even had the chance to be born.
21:50I grew quieter every day.
21:52They pushed food on me,
21:53supplements, anything.
21:54I lost weight anyway,
21:56visibly, week by week.
21:58And then one afternoon,
22:00while both of them were out of the room,
22:02I slipped out through the window.
22:04She was gone.
22:06Jasper and Vivian didn't realize it right away.
22:08She had bribed the nurses.
22:10They told the two of them
22:11she had only stepped out for some air.
22:13But midnight came,
22:14and she didn't come back.
22:15They stormed the nurses' station in a panic.
22:17And that was when they found out
22:19she had checked herself out days ago.
22:21Everything had been handled quietly,
22:23in advance.
22:24She had kept paying for the room
22:25just to keep them from suspecting anything.
22:27Jasper called my phone
22:28until his thumb went numb.
22:30Every time,
22:31the same mechanical voice answered.
22:35Vivian stood with her phone in her hand,
22:37staring at nothing.
22:38She tried to think of someone,
22:40anyone,
22:41she could call.
22:42A mutual friend
22:43who might know something.
22:44That was when it hit her.
22:45I didn't really have anyone else.
22:47All these years,
22:48outside of the two of them,
22:49Nina had no one
22:50she was truly close to.
22:52And what had Vivian
22:52been doing this whole time?
22:54She pressed her hands over her face.
22:56A broken sound crawled out
22:57from between her fingers.
22:59They walked home in a daze.
23:01Nina's things were gone.
23:02Every single one.
23:03I had cleared myself out so completely
23:05that it was as if
23:06I had studied how to disappear.
23:07While they had been busy
23:08trying to fix things,
23:10she had been quietly planning her exit.
23:12She hated them.
23:13That was the only explanation
23:14for leaving nothing behind.
23:16Vivian collapsed onto the floor
23:18and sobbed into her hands.
23:19She remembered the first time
23:20she ever saw Nina.
23:22This awkward,
23:23rough-around-the-edges girl,
23:24a nouveau riche businessman's daughter.
23:26Newly arrived,
23:27impossible to place in a world
23:28but had very specific ideas
23:30about where people belonged.
23:31Nina's accent wasn't right.
23:33Her French was painful.
23:34She tripped over my words constantly.
23:36At first,
23:38Vivian had only reached out
23:39because she was curious.
23:40But then she started to notice.
23:42This girl was relentlessly,
23:44stubbornly unwilling to lose.
23:46It didn't matter that everyone laughed.
23:47It didn't matter that she never fit.
23:50Nina worked in secret,
23:51drilling her vowels before dawn,
23:53memorizing phrases during lunch,
23:54quietly logging the exact way
23:56her classmates sneered
23:56so she could practice erasing
23:58every trace of where she came from.
23:59One year.
24:00Two years.
24:01Nina went from the bottom
24:02of the class to the top.
24:04Her accent became flawless.
24:06Her second language
24:07started to sound like a first.
24:08Vivian,
24:09for the first time in her life,
24:11felt a still pond
24:12inside her start to move.
24:13Then one afternoon,
24:14an ex-boyfriend of Vivian's
24:16showed up at the school gate
24:17with a group of guys,
24:18looking for payback.
24:19Nina was weak
24:20and she was shaking.
24:21She stepped in front
24:22of Vivian anyway.
24:23She took three cuts
24:24before anyone
24:25could pull them apart.
24:26After that,
24:27Vivian had one person
24:29in the world
24:29she would bleed for.
24:30And look what she had done
24:31with that.
24:32Vivian crumpled
24:33against the wall in silence.
24:35Completely undone.
24:36Jasper kept redialing
24:37on autopilot.
24:39He didn't understand
24:39how things had gotten this far.
24:41When they were young,
24:42it had all seemed so stable.
24:44So easy.
24:45He hadn't noticed Nina at first.
24:47He knew there was a new girl
24:48in the neighborhood,
24:49some businessman's daughter
24:50from the countryside,
24:51but Jasper had never been the type
24:52to pay attention to people
24:53who hadn't earned it yet.
24:54Then Vivian brought her over.
24:56Jasper had known Vivian
24:57since before either of them
24:59could remember.
25:00He had never once seen her
25:01give her real self to anyone.
25:03So the fact that she had,
25:04that this particular girl
25:06had gotten through,
25:06made him look.
25:07And when he looked,
25:09he couldn't stop.
25:11She was nothing like Vivian.
25:13And something about that
25:14got under his skin
25:15in a way he hadn't expected.
25:17He still picked fights
25:18with Vivian out of pure habit.
25:19But his eyes kept finding Nina.
25:22When graduation came,
25:23Vivian left the country
25:24without looking back.
25:26Jasper felt a rage
25:27he couldn't name or explain.
25:28The night of the farewell party,
25:30Nina had stayed home
25:31to take care of her sick parents.
25:32She wasn't there.
25:34So Jasper cornered Vivian
25:35and started pouring drinks.
25:37For both of them,
25:38looking for a fight,
25:39as always,
25:40they woke up the next morning
25:41with a marriage certificate
25:42neither of them
25:43had intended to sign.
25:44Neither of them
25:45said a word about divorce.
25:47Vivian left for the airport
25:48the next day.
25:49Then Finley came,
25:50and the thing that
25:51should have been said out loud
25:52became something
25:53neither of them
25:53could figure out
25:54how to say at all.
25:55So they let it sit,
25:56told themselves
25:57it wasn't really happening,
25:59assumed that when
26:00it finally surfaced,
26:01it wouldn't matter.
26:02Suddenly,
26:03Vivian grabbed something
26:04off the floor
26:04and hurled it at Jasper.
26:06Then another thing,
26:07then another.
26:08Jasper stood there
26:09and took every single one
26:10until the blood ran.
26:12When she ran out of things
26:13to throw,
26:13Vivian turned her hands
26:14on herself,
26:15striking her own face
26:16until she spat blood
26:17onto the floor.
26:18I'm a monster.
26:20My god,
26:21I'm such a monster.
26:24I have to find her.
26:25I have to find Nina
26:27and tell her
26:27whatever she needs,
26:29whatever she wants.
26:30My parents came
26:31and took me home,
26:32back to the countryside.
26:33The day I went out
26:34that window,
26:34there was a safety mat
26:35already waiting
26:36on the ground below.
26:37I had placed it
26:38their days in advance.
26:39Jasper and Vivian
26:40had people everywhere
26:41in that hospital.
26:42It was the only way out
26:43that none of them
26:44would see coming.
26:45My parents had stepped away
26:46from everything
26:47a long time ago.
26:48Retired,
26:49quiet,
26:49off the grid.
26:50I had stayed behind
26:51for Jasper.
26:52I hadn't gone with them,
26:54they picked me up
26:55without asking questions.
26:56I was thin in a way
26:57that showed,
26:58and they simply
26:58held me tighter
26:59and gave me more.
27:00One night I woke up
27:01at 3 in the morning
27:02and heard them
27:02in the next room,
27:03talking in low voices
27:04about how to go
27:05after the Hale family.
27:06They had looked
27:07into it on their own.
27:08I hadn't told them anything,
27:09and they had gone
27:10and found out anyway.
27:12My eyes burned.
27:13Someone had loved me
27:14this deeply the whole time.
27:15So how did I let
27:16something as hollow
27:17as that blind me
27:18for so long?
27:19The countryside
27:19settled into me slowly.
27:21The rhythm of it,
27:22early light,
27:22simple work,
27:23early dark,
27:24scraped the noise
27:25out of me.
27:26My body,
27:26which had refused
27:27to hold weight
27:28for months,
27:29finally started
27:29to fill back out.
27:30My parents had quietly
27:32funded a number
27:32of small schools
27:33in the area
27:34after they retired.
27:35There was one
27:35in the town we lived.
27:37When I had time,
27:38I would go
27:38and help the kids
27:39with their reading.
27:40That was where
27:40I met Elise.
27:42At first it was
27:42her profile
27:43that caught my eye,
27:44the way the light
27:44hit her cheekbone,
27:45an angle that reminded
27:46me of Vivian.
27:47But Elise was nothing
27:48like Vivian.
27:49She was shy,
27:50slow to speak,
27:52quick to turn red.
27:53When she got upset,
27:54her eyes just went
27:55glassy and still.
27:56There was no
27:57performance in her.
27:58Half a day was all
27:59it took to tell
27:59them completely apart.
28:01Elise had grown up
28:02right here,
28:02in this town.
28:04Everything about her
28:04moved at the same
28:05honest,
28:06unhurried pace
28:06as the people
28:07around her,
28:08warm,
28:08unguarded,
28:09exactly what it
28:10appeared to be.
28:10She was a local
28:11girl who had
28:12gone to university,
28:13come back with a
28:14degree,
28:14and chosen to stay
28:15and build something
28:16instead of leaving.
28:17Somewhere in the
28:18middle of our
28:18conversations,
28:19my guard came down
28:20without my noticing.
28:21I started to tell
28:22her things I had
28:23never said out loud
28:24to anyone.
28:25Elise cried on my
28:25behalf before I even
28:26finished.
28:27I'd be halfway through
28:28a sentence and she'd
28:29already be a mess,
28:30so I'd stop and go
28:31take care of her
28:31instead.
28:32Have you moved on yet?
28:33She asked once,
28:35sniffling.
28:35I touched my stomach.
28:37Empty.
28:38Quiet.
28:39A small life had
28:40almost existed there.
28:41Maybe it was better.
28:42The way things turned
28:43out.
28:44Better for that child,
28:45too.
28:46Long ago.
28:47I said.
28:47I was looking at the
28:48dry, yellowed leaves
28:49on the ground when I
28:50said it.
28:51And it was true.
28:52Those old wounds.
28:53All of it,
28:54Jasper,
28:54Vivian,
28:55it would become what
28:56old things always
28:57become.
28:57A faded photograph.
28:59Something you find in a
29:00drawer and no longer
29:01recognize yourself inside.
29:02I didn't regret any of
29:04it.
29:04Not long after,
29:06the community organized
29:07a matchmaking social in
29:08the town.
29:09My father had contributed
29:10more to this place than
29:11almost anyone, but he
29:12wanted no part of the
29:13event.
29:13So the man who ran the
29:15town came looking for me
29:16to fill his seat instead.
29:17I went.
29:18Mostly out of
29:19politeness.
29:20I was surprised to find
29:21how many young people had
29:22actually chosen to come
29:23back here and build
29:24something.
29:24I exchanged numbers
29:26with a few of them and
29:26was making my way to a
29:27quiet corner when a
29:28commotion broke out in
29:29the middle of the crowd.
29:32I pushed through to see
29:34what was happening.
29:35The man at the center
29:35of it, bleeding and
29:36wild-eyed, was Jasper.
29:42Nobody knows what got
29:43into him.
29:43He just came out of
29:44nowhere and started
29:45swinging.
29:46And of all people to go
29:47after, those are some of
29:48the best-looking guys at
29:49this whole event.
29:50What a waste.
29:51Someone's already called
29:52the police.
29:54I looked around.
29:56Every man on the ground
29:58was someone I had
29:58exchanged numbers with
29:59that afternoon.
30:00Jasper's eyes were red.
30:02He was swinging at anyone
30:03within reach, completely
30:04lost.
30:05Vivian stood to the side,
30:07trying to grab his arm,
30:08completely at a loss.
30:09Someone in the crowd
30:10shouted.
30:18Vivian went completely
30:19still.
30:20Then her eyes found mine
30:21across the crowd.
30:22She grabbed Jasper by the
30:23ear and yanked him around.
30:26Nina is standing right
30:28there watching you.
30:29Are you done
30:29embarrassing yourself?
30:30Jasper's breath caught.
30:32He looked up and walked
30:33onto my face like it was
30:34the only thing in the
30:35world.
30:35Then something behind his
30:36eyes came back online,
30:37slow, disoriented, like a
30:39man waking up somewhere
30:40he didn't recognize.
30:42He started walking
30:43toward me.
30:46Nina, don't be scared.
30:49I won't let anyone
30:50touch you.
30:54Elise abandoned whoever
30:55she'd been talking to and
30:56was at my side in seconds,
30:57arms around me, eyes
30:58cutting straight through
30:59Jasper and Vivian.
31:01Who are you people?
31:02Across the wall of bodies,
31:04Jasper and I looked at each
31:05other from a distance.
31:07I let my voice carry.
31:10Jasper, no one here has
31:11ever hurt me.
31:12The hardest thing I ever
31:14lived through, that's
31:15already behind me.
31:20So I didn't see it.
31:22Vivian's eyes fixed on the
31:23place where our arms met
31:24and stayed there.
31:25One tear dropped before
31:26she could stop it.
31:28She has, she has
31:29something now.
31:30After that, the two of
31:31them kept drifting around
31:32the town.
31:33The locals had their faces
31:34memorized within a week
31:35and made sure every visit
31:36cost them something.
31:37They were reported to
31:38the police again and
31:39again.
31:40They kept showing up
31:41anyway.
31:42Never close.
31:43Always at a distance.
31:44Just watching, Elise,
31:46meeting the two people
31:47from my story in person
31:48for the first time,
31:49was so furious she could
31:50barely speak and
31:51immediately decided she
31:52was going to be within
31:53arm's reach of me at
31:54all hours.
31:55I didn't know whether
31:56to laugh or sigh.
31:57This is a civilized
31:58country, they can't
31:59exactly kidnap me.
32:01What are you so
32:02worried about?
32:02Elise plugged her ears
32:03and refused to hear it
32:04and stayed glued to my
32:05side regardless.
32:06But no one stays
32:07vigilant forever.
32:09One afternoon, the
32:10principal pulled Elise
32:11into a meeting and I
32:12stayed behind in the
32:13classroom to pack up the
32:14teaching materials.
32:15When I looked up,
32:16Jasper and Vivian were
32:17standing in the doorway
32:18together, not demanding,
32:20just looking at me like
32:21they were asking for
32:21something they had no
32:22right to ask for.
32:24Nina, can we talk?
32:30There's nothing to talk
32:31about.
32:33Just once.
32:34Say what you need to say
32:35and we'll leave.
32:37We won't bother you again.
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