- 5 minutes ago
Taskmaster - S17E10 - The Final： Ambience and Information [Full Movie] [Long Version]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02Oh
00:34Oh
00:39I'm Greg Davis. Welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final
00:48What a journey we've been on we've seen the full
00:52Smorgasbord of skills and intuition and a woman from the north looking baffled
00:57As we thunder into this final set of challenges the ultimate prize of my gilded nut could go to any
01:05of them
01:05Apart from two of them who definitely can't win because they've been rubbish
01:11So here they are please roar one last time for the phenomenal Joanne McNally
01:28And for us to start this series a man who I always associate the good night out because he looks
01:32like a giant revolving kebab
01:34That's a kid in bottom-set art has drawn a face on
01:46My special outfit for final so pretty cool genuinely all I want to do is wear these for the whole
01:53show
01:55Oh
01:55Well, I shan't be allowing the glasses to be worn for the final. I must wear them. No, I should
01:59wear them. No, I haven't trimmed them
02:00I mean to be fair. It's one of your better chances
02:13What is the final prize task of the series please Alex well Gregington bear?
02:18We're ending on something that could really make a difference to the world because you've asked them to bring in
02:21the thing that gives the most hope for the future of the human race
02:27Five points seems like a fair deal for the thing that gives the most hope for the future of the
02:31human race and at the end of the episode
02:32Well, we'll all have hope and perhaps that's all you can ask for in this life. I love you guys
02:40Right then
02:41Sophie
02:43Welcome to the final. What have you brought in right? So
02:47AI one day right you'll be able to
02:51Assess a body part
02:53Using your phones and stuff right right we'll be able to have a full medical dead quick with AI right
02:59and I thought that would be great
03:01Yeah, and I thought especially for you because of your life choices and everything that you get
03:06Oh
03:07I'm carrying a couple of pounds. Yes, and you look knackered
03:12We've actually brought in oh, yes, this is to remind you that there is hope on the way. Yes, thank
03:17you a little robot
03:23Could save us and therefore this is not as per total shit
03:29I'll take it
03:31Thanks, so what I have brought is
03:36The concept of fate
03:41Because I think that nothing
03:44Should give more hope to the human race that no matter how much you might sort of screw up in
03:48life or on the show
03:51The fact that it might be written in the stars somehow I think of us a degree of comfort
03:56Do you know by that? Yes, largely to people who don't take responsibility for their own actions. Yes. Well to
04:02that end I have
04:05Made a prediction. Oh of my final score on this show. That's quite exciting
04:11So I have genuinely inside inside there. Yeah, okay
04:14I have written my final score of the whole series, right? I'll sign it on here
04:21Across the flat. You're watching Taskmaster on Final Four
04:25If you sign it over the seal as well, there's a Sharpie, you know that no one can get at
04:30it
04:30Great, okay, and then if you just want to pop that under there
04:33I'll pop it under there. I will. And the proof will be at the end, but um, but yeah, fate
04:38I feel like I'm joking under his power
04:43The world's in a pretty scary place. I think we'd all agree that perhaps those in power don't represent us.
04:50Yeah, man
04:51I can see only one solution and that is Kathy Burke I
04:59Had the pleasure of meeting Kathy for the first time recently. She is kind funny
05:05Insightful wise and I just think if we were somehow able to put Kathy Burke in charge of everything and
05:12or clone her with permission
05:14Then it would mean an end to war inequality poverty. I just think she's got a lot of answers
05:21I
05:21Mean that is a lot of responsibility to put on the shoulders of the woman from Kevin and Perry go
05:27large
05:29She chose get your freak on on desert island discs, and that was my first time to my wedding, okay?
05:36That's reason alone to give her a low bar
05:40Big fan Joanne. Yeah, hello. I really thought about this and the future of the human race as much as
05:46I love man
05:47They are a big problem
05:49All the big all the big hitters all the big dictators all man. Yeah, I've referred constantly to myself as
05:55a basic bitch
05:56It's time to give the power to women like me. I present you with the basic bitch starter pack. Yeah,
06:02we've got
06:05Some cucumber eye sheets. We've got a couple of cheapo scented candles from Primark
06:12Slippers a onesie because basic bitches like to be cozy. We like to relax
06:16Give more parts the basic bitches things would be a lot more chilled
06:29I've brought something tonight that I don't think anyone's ever brought into taskmaster before okay, and it's this here. It
06:35is
06:37Nothing
06:39Existential crisis, aren't you? This is a statement
06:42Nothing if you think about all the dreadful things we've been through recently. Sorry
06:47artificial intelligence brexit
06:50Cancel culture deathly pandemics. Yeah greenhouse gases hottest temperatures ever ice caps melting John Robbins probably winning taskmaster
07:00These are the disasters of this
07:04And I think you know it Greg. I do know and yet
07:09And yet
07:11He's doing the Tony Blair fun point
07:15If there is a child watching this tonight
07:17Who looks up from their tik-tok or their memes just because of what I've just said and thinks why
07:23is the nice old vicar man saying the world's gonna end?
07:26I've got to do something about that and they tell a friend and their friend tells a friend suddenly
07:30You've got the start of a movement just because I chose to bring in nothing to taskmaster
07:35And if you can support me on this Greg
07:38Then I think this could be the beginning of a real change society needs truth-tellers
07:44Emmeline Pankhurst
07:45Rosa Parks Malala
07:49Greg Davis
07:57I just want to take a moment if I make it's the first time I'll be included in the sentence
08:01in the same company as Malala
08:06Right then Greg good luck
08:08Well, John, there's no slight on Kathy Burke. I just haven't met her so I can't judge. Kathy if you're
08:14watching sorry about this one point
08:18It's difficult because Nick's magic trick hmm like at the moment is rubbish, but it might turn out to be
08:24amazing
08:25I'm giving him two points full stop end off, but if he correctly predicts the score at the end. I'll
08:30give him a cash prize from my own
08:34300 pounds
08:37Do I have to donate it to charity?
08:38Nope
08:41Three points for the robot three to so because AI might well save us it might also destroy us a
08:45problem
08:46I'm going to give the concept of nothing even though it was one of the greatest performances
08:51I've ever seen just because of a basic bitch running the gaff is a bit more tangible
08:55I'll give her five points there
09:06Okay, well first up for the final we have pegs Greg pegs loads of pegs Greg and tasks Greg don't
09:12ask Greg
09:12But there's so many tasks Greg tasks and peg Greg. Let's go
09:29Oh
09:29God
09:31All right. All right. Yeah, all right
09:34John hello Alex
09:36Please open a task. Oh, what is that?
09:41It's not last is that no, but they're all tasks
09:45Is this a random choice of task whichever I want? Yes, this guy
09:51Oh
09:51You sure yeah, no
09:54Oh God
09:56Find and complete the real task each task
10:01Has a one percent chance of being the real task
10:05Fastest wins your time started when you opened your first task
10:17I think there is a basic intelligence test because there are two ways of approaching this is to take a
10:23moment and
10:24To work out if there's a way of finding out what the real task is before you
10:29Maniacally rip all of those tasks off the washing line
10:32Should we crack on? Let's have a look. Okay
10:35Sophie and Joanne are up first to find the real task here we go
10:39There's no point me just pulling all these off sure there's not
10:42Yeah, but then I did think I was smart by pegging them all back in a lump rather than individually
10:47and getting in to do it
10:48Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I had to help because it had taken so long
10:53Sophie not for the first time you sounded like an Alan Bennett monologue. It's a lesson for life
10:59Yeah, I've been baffled for a lot. It's been horrific actually
11:03You weren't that baffled in this one Sophie, you stepped back and saw the enormous arrow pointing at the shapes
11:09Was the task in the shape for an arrow?
11:14I
11:17Don't think you should be allowed to run the world
11:21You spotted after two minutes you pin them all back up after three minutes 41 you completed the task
11:26And what was Joanne's time? 20 minutes and 20 seconds
11:30Guess what? Yeah, sorry here are some adverts
11:34Yeah
12:01That's right
12:04Chance, but the H of chance is underlined some of the letters are underlined Alex. It spells out H E
12:09D S
12:10Does that mean?
12:14A B C D E
12:17In case that's the thing
12:20Find and complete the written. Oh, it's not that is it? Is that an arrow?
12:26H E D S
12:30Shed
12:32Fuck this, I'm going to shed
12:35Okay, hang on, an anagram of H, is that the only ones underlined? H E and D and S. Stead
12:47Is that an arrow Alex?
12:50It's an arrow!
12:52Shed
12:53Shed
12:53Go to the shed
12:58This is a real task, peg all the tasks to the washroom
13:00line
13:05You suckers
13:05I didn't take any off, did I? I took two off
13:14I've stopped the clock, John
13:15Have I finished?
13:19I've stopped the clock
13:20There you go
13:21Is that good? Yeah
13:28Thank you
13:30Thank you
13:46Thank you
13:53It was Nick
13:53One minute 50 for you, Nick
13:55Okay
13:55The others
13:57John, one minute 16
13:58Steve, 49.8 seconds
13:59Thank you
14:02Wow
14:02All three were very pleasing yourselves
14:04Oh, don't, don't, don't, don't
14:25Thank you
14:26All right
14:27Okay
14:27Oh, lovely
14:28Goodbye, Nick
14:29See you later
14:32Thank you
14:33Thank you
14:39Go
14:40Joanne and Nick, you did not complete the task
14:44I don't think that's going to make a difference to my scores
14:48Which means Nick and Joanne both don't get any points.
14:50Three points to Sophie, four to John, and five to Steve Pemberton!
14:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:56Scoreboard, please. Yes, and in the lead with nine, it's Steve Pemberton!
15:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:02What's next for this big fancy final?
15:05OK, well, this task is all anyone ever wants, really.
15:07A hug with an old friend.
15:19MUSIC PLAYS
15:22You like these big Lawrence of Arabia opening approach shots, don't you?
15:27Yeah. But the director's loving this.
15:29I'm not in the right shoes for this set-up, really.
15:33Did it be a good day? It was really good.
15:35I was just riding a horse bear back there.
15:38LAUGHTER
15:40It's not QWERTY, it's not a keyboard layout,
15:42and it's not in alphabetical order.
15:44But there are also repeats of some letters,
15:46cos there's two G... I should read the task.
15:49LAUGHTER
15:49Hug your special friend.
15:51Mmm.
15:52Hug your special friend.
15:54Is that... I have to give you a hug?
15:56We are colleagues.
15:57Oh, right, OK.
15:58LAUGHTER
15:58Every time you touch a letter, you must turn it over
16:01and one minute will be added to your time.
16:03Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
16:05Hello.
16:07It is on the vague side, Alex.
16:11APPLAUSE
16:14Special friend's quite a creepy thing to say.
16:16Oh, is it? Shall I stop doing that?
16:18LAUGHTER
16:19There's been a few times during this series where I thought...
16:21I don't know.
16:22Keith's been spending a bit too much time on his own.
16:26LAUGHTER
16:26Let's start!
16:27OK, now it's one for the bird watchers out there.
16:28Hi, Dad.
16:29Hi, Mum.
16:30Look, it's a pair of Js.
16:32Joanne and John.
16:33LAUGHTER
16:34Well, I guess I'm going to start turning over letters.
16:37Sure.
16:38All right.
16:39I'm going to go J, cos that's my, erm...
16:43Well, all right, that... OK.
16:45Let's go, Z.
16:47Biscuit?
16:48You hungry?
16:48No.
16:49Really?
16:50Hug your spell...
16:51Oh, do I have to spell out hug?
16:53No, I'll spell out your name.
16:54Is it Alex?
16:55That is my name.
16:56Ah!
16:56What have you found?
16:58Your name.
16:59You think?
17:00A string.
17:03There's probably no strategy to this.
17:05I'd say it's just a kind of, like, a free-for-all.
17:07I get that vibe.
17:09OK.
17:11We've got a compass, at least.
17:16Oh, no.
17:18Oh, no.
17:19It's one of these.
17:21So, I've got to follow this in some direction from here,
17:25I would say.
17:25So, I reckon if I go in a circle at the end of this string,
17:29I'm going to find a special friend.
17:32Ow!
17:34I'm in quite a lot of pain, Alex.
17:36Would you like a biscuit?
17:37I wouldn't mind some gloves.
17:38Or just at least an eye on health and safety.
17:43Hello? Hello?
17:58I think I've done the wrong thing.
18:00LAUGHTER
18:06LAUGHTER
18:07CHEERS
18:07CHEERS
18:07CHEERS
18:08CHEERS
18:09CHEERS
18:10CHEERS
18:10CHEERS
18:11250 degrees west.
18:13That's 250 degrees west.
18:15Is it?
18:16Yeah.
18:17Unless your compass is wrong?
18:19Which way is north, John?
18:21CHEERS
18:29CHEERS
18:30CHEERS
18:31CHEERS
18:32CHEERS
18:33CHEERS
18:34CHEERS
18:34CHEERS
18:35CHEERS
18:37I've stopped the clock.
18:38I remember him!
18:40He's your special friend.
18:42Oh, hello!
18:44I've done it, Alex!
18:45I've stopped the clock, John!
18:47That was incredibly frustrating.
18:48Yeah.
18:49Not bad.
18:52Thanks, Joanne.
18:53No worries, thank you.
18:54APPLAUSE
18:57Joanne, have you ever seen a walkie-talkie before?
19:01Because you looked at it with such childlike wonderment.
19:04Was there something earlier in the series that I thought was walkie-talkie,
19:07but it was a barbecue lighter?
19:08A barbecue lighter.
19:09LAUGHTER
19:10I'm not in the army, OK?
19:12I should have told you.
19:13She's not in the army.
19:14Why didn't you tell me she's not in the army?
19:16I'm sorry.
19:17Well, John takes this very seriously, this show.
19:20He is a taskmaster nerd.
19:22And I enjoyed it, you get angry.
19:25It was 38 degrees when we filmed that,
19:28and Alex kept asking me if I wanted a biscuit
19:31when I found biscuits under the letters.
19:33I couldn't believe you didn't want a biscuit.
19:34I didn't want a biscuit, Alex.
19:35John's got no time for whimsy.
19:37He wants to complete the task quickly and get the delicious points.
19:41That's...
19:41LAUGHTER
19:43Who's next?
19:44Next up, all the way from Fleetwood Mac...
19:47..it's Stephen Nicks attempts.
19:50Stephen Nicks.
19:51Who's my special friend?
19:53Is it one of the horses?
19:55LAUGHTER
19:56I don't know what you do in your own time.
19:58Right, well, I would love to spell out the phrase,
20:00hug your special friend, but scanning the letters,
20:02I'm not seeing the letter Y.
20:04Erm, I'm going to just start with an H.
20:09Is this a time thing?
20:11Fastest wins.
20:12Fastest wins, OK.
20:13And one minute per letter turned over.
20:15Per...
20:15One minute is...
20:17Per...
20:17Per letter turned over.
20:18Yes.
20:19Oh!
20:21Chocolate biscuit!
20:22So, it's somebody who likes chocolate biscuits.
20:24OK.
20:25Or is it for me, his chocolate biscuit?
20:27For me.
20:28Oh!
20:29Oh!
20:31Hello?
20:32Is that my special friend?
20:37Fastest wins, mate.
20:38Yeah, right.
20:39I was aware of it, yeah.
20:43Oh!
20:52250 degrees west.
20:53I'm guessing I'm going to have to eventually turn all of these over,
20:56so why am I messing around?
20:58Oh, some wool!
20:59All right.
21:00What's the task again?
21:01Every time I turn it over, you must turn it over, and one minute will be added to your time.
21:05Yeah, you've spent 48 minutes so far.
21:09Oh, and fastest wins.
21:13Right.
21:17Mannequin!
21:17Mannequin!
21:18The mannequin is my special friend.
21:21Er, the north is that way.
21:23Yeah, if north that way, which way do you reckon west is?
21:26This way.
21:27That's west.
21:27I don't want to expend unnecessary energy.
21:30Hmm.
21:33Hello?
21:34Over.
21:35Maybe, is this a clue?
21:37Is this an arrow?
21:38The mannequin that's pointing up this way?
21:40Oh!
21:41There's something colourful!
21:43Oh!
21:44Aha!
21:49Oh, you look like one of my characters from League of Gentlemen!
21:52Oh, fucking hell!
21:58Oh, you're terrifying.
22:00Well, that wasn't too bad.
22:02No?
22:02Yeah.
22:03I think I did middling on that.
22:05Hmm.
22:06Well, you turned over 45 letters.
22:08Yeah.
22:13See, this is the difference between John and Nick, is that when you see a whimsical biscuit's
22:19been left undone, you think, I'm prioritising this biscuit.
22:23I think it was the biscuit that made me forget that you weren't meant to turn over many letters,
22:27because as soon as I had that biscuit, I just started turning over as many as I could find.
22:30Yeah.
22:31The other difference is that Nick obviously did very badly.
22:34Very pleased with himself.
22:35I think that went quite well.
22:37Steve, how'd you feel?
22:39Uh, annoyed I didn't need the biscuit.
22:42Um, I was looking forward to finding a lovely word thing in the labyrinth of words.
22:48Totally forgot the fact that each one was a minute.
22:51Yeah, and then the greeting was, I mean, borderline orgasmic.
22:56Had you forgotten there was someone inside your mannequin?
22:59I had totally forgotten, because it was weeks and weeks earlier.
23:02So, I screamed, didn't I?
23:04It was hilarious.
23:07Good.
23:08Now, I'm not one to make judgements, and I'm always fast to apologise when I do,
23:12but I predict Sophie's going to be shit at this.
23:15OK.
23:16Time for another ad break.
23:17See you in a bit.
23:19APPLAUSE
23:29Oh!
23:31You join us for third quarter of our final and the completion of a task
23:35all about tracking down old friends.
23:38Yes, old friends that they made for themselves.
23:40Quite sad, really.
23:41They've all managed to find and hug them so far,
23:43but there is still one person left to go.
23:47Will and Sophie be reunited with their old friend?
23:50Let's find out right now.
23:51Right, OK.
23:53Every time you touch a letter, you must turn it over,
23:57and one minute will be added to your time,
23:59but I don't want to touch a letter then.
24:01Fastest wins.
24:02Is it a tree-hugging exercise, is it?
24:05That sort of thing.
24:08The problem is you've got crew hiding in bushes, haven't you?
24:11It's quite daunting.
24:13Hello?
24:16Hello?
24:18Hello?
24:19I might aim for that tree over there.
24:21Yeah, OK.
24:22And I don't want to faff about with these, do I?
24:25No.
24:25Hello?
24:27Who's there?
24:29Oh!
24:31Oh, I see!
24:32I thought it was going to be an old school friend or something.
24:36This is your old friend, Wolfie.
24:37Wolfie!
24:38I've stopped the clock.
24:39Is that it?
24:45I formally apologise.
24:48Incredible.
24:49I mean, 100% accidental?
24:52Well, I thought you would have a friend of mine from Manchester
24:55hid in a bush.
24:56That's...
24:57I thought Amy again.
24:58I thought that several times, yeah.
24:59Yeah.
24:59Yeah.
25:00This show isn't about reuniting people.
25:02Yeah.
25:03I mean, she has kept saying, well, a friend jump out.
25:05Where's Amy?
25:06Always Amy.
25:06Yeah.
25:07That's it.
25:08I don't know why I just thought Amy would be someone you'd approach.
25:11Have you not seen Amy for a while?
25:12No.
25:13Or this show ever.
25:14She managed to find it in 4 minutes 44 seconds.
25:17Ooh!
25:19No punishment.
25:20No extra minutes.
25:21Do you want to hear the points?
25:23Yeah.
25:24Well, Sophie found it quickest in 4 minutes 44.
25:26Ooh.
25:27Five sweet points.
25:29Exactly, yeah.
25:30Joanne, 11 minutes 20 with your punishments.
25:33Four sweet points.
25:34Four sweet points.
25:35John, you turned over 10, which means you had a total of 21 minutes 20.
25:38Ooh, the three sweet points!
25:41Yes.
25:42And then the guys who turned over 45 cards.
25:46Steve, your total time was 52 minutes 37.
25:49Nick, 56 minutes 25.
25:51Two points to Steve, one point to Nick Muhammad.
25:53There it is.
25:54Just under an hour.
25:57Wow, this is my worst round luck.
25:59Good.
25:59OK, what's next?
26:00Well, the bad news is it's the final task.
26:03Oh, dear.
26:04But the good news is, Greg, you've just become a TV commissioner.
26:08At last!
26:21Hello, Sophie.
26:22Hello!
26:23Hello, Nick, how are you?
26:24Hello.
26:25Hello.
26:25I keep forgetting that you're all here.
26:26Pardon?
26:27Sorry, nothing.
26:29OK, good luck.
26:31Present the best new short-form shiny floor American game show.
26:35Alex will be the contestant.
26:37One of you must be his rival.
26:38And somebody must win.
26:39The game show, Greg, most wants to see commissioned wins.
26:43Also, there is a bonus point for best new game show catchphrase.
26:47You have a maximum of 30 minutes.
26:48Your time starts now.
26:50What about if you had to go through the stool of your opposite contestant
26:54to guess what they had for dinner last night?
26:57What?
26:58OK.
27:00Can you play the keyboard?
27:02Can you play the keyboard?
27:02No, back can do.
27:03I don't want to see something quite violent.
27:11Yeah.
27:14Do, do, do.
27:17Oh, no.
27:17Do, do, do, do, do, do.
27:20What about if it's...
27:22Shorter.
27:26Oh, yes.
27:28Take the page to the stage.
27:30Feel the rage, the rage, the rage, the rage, the rage.
27:36What about something like ESP or something?
27:39It's just people who might sit in front of one of those things
27:42that just drop lots of people.
27:44It's either that or coming on with your stool.
27:47I keep coming back to this, but I think Greg would love that.
27:51APPLAUSE
27:54I just want to make sure...
27:57APPLAUSE
28:20...
28:20...
28:48...
28:50...
28:50...
29:20...
29:20...
29:50...
29:50...
30:18...
30:20...
30:20...
30:23...
30:23...
30:26...
30:26...
30:29...
30:29...
30:31...
30:32...
30:34...
30:35...
36:07...
36:11...
36:12...
36:15...
36:17...
36:19...
36:20...
36:25...
36:56...
36:59...
37:00...
37:04...
38:05...
38:07...
39:38...
39:41...
Comments