- 6 minutes ago
Ghosts Season 5 Episode 17
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00:30We got a good deal
00:31Sorry to interrupt, Chief
00:32But for the Humvee
00:33Do we want to go with the upgraded
00:34Napa leather with the contrast stitching?
00:36That doesn't come with the premium package
00:38It's separate
00:38Sure, why not?
00:41Well, that all sounds pretty expensive
00:44Ma'am, you can't put a price on public safety
00:47We're never getting our money back, are we?
00:49No, you are not
00:50But I can offer you a cappuccino
00:56Okay
00:56Can I get light foam?
01:03So, yeah
01:04We are facing some financial difficulties
01:07And we just thought that it was important to come clean to you
01:11Come clean is a bit strong
01:12The man still doesn't know that the root of your money woes
01:15Is ghost-related tax evasion
01:17The details are not important
01:19We knew we had to share it with you
01:21Because you're not just our business partner
01:22I mean, you're our friend
01:25Are you even listening, Mark?
01:27Oh, yeah, that all sounds great
01:29We just told you we're in serious financial trouble
01:32You're right, I'm so sorry
01:34They just came out with a new update for this fruit smash game
01:36It's very addictive
01:37They added raspberries, which seems like not a big deal
01:40But they give you triple smash points
01:41Look, I appreciate you guys being honest with me
01:43And I'm here for anything you need
01:45Short of lending you any money
01:46Oh, smart man, Mark
01:48Figure something out
01:49Thank you for letting us bend your ear, Mark
01:53Mark!
01:54Sorry
01:54I'm just one cantaloupe away from a fruit salad
01:57That's actually a very big achievement
01:59I'll catch you guys later
01:59I'm gonna go check out that thing with the walk-in at the restaurant
02:03Thanks, Mark
02:03Now, what is the plan?
02:05Are you gonna have to sell the house?
02:07And if so, have you considered selling it to Kyle?
02:09Oh, that would be amazing
02:10I love Kyle
02:11Nobody turns a magazine page better
02:13But obviously we miss you dearly
02:14Of course we don't want to sell
02:16But we are running out of options
02:17Sam and Jay
02:19Hi, Mayor Tad
02:21We met last year at that fundraiser you hosted
02:23I only feel the need to remind you
02:25Because you were baked out of your minds
02:27Your words
02:28Hello, sir
02:29Love a two-handed handshake
02:31Makes you feel special
02:32Not as special as a six-handed massage
02:35Have I ever told you guys about
02:37Jordan Belfort's bachelor party?
02:39To what do we owe the pleasure, Mr. Mayor?
02:41Well, I know you're in a bit of a financial pickle
02:44I've heard about your visit to City Hall today
02:46And I think I might have a solution
02:49We're listening
02:50I would like to personally invest in your business
02:54The hotel, the restaurant
02:55I want to be part of the solution
02:57You would?
02:58Why?
02:59Well, obviously I have a special connection with Woodstone
03:02Because your prom day was chainsawed here? Go on
03:05And you guys aren't just constituents
03:07You're job creators
03:08I mean, if you were forced to sell
03:10There's no guarantee this property wouldn't just become some rich person's third house
03:14I don't know if you could technically call them rich if they only have three houses
03:17But okay
03:18Well, it's definitely interesting
03:20Well, I'll tell you what
03:21Let's have lunch
03:22We'll talk about it
03:23See if this is a good fit
03:25Thank you, Mr. Mayor
03:30Now Jay's double-handed
03:31This is too many hands
03:34Thank you all for gathering
03:36The day has finally arrived
03:38Ghost representative election day
03:41And now let's hear closing statements from our candidates
03:44First up, somehow representing the basement ghosts
03:48Isaac, hickey-toot
03:50Thank you, Sasapis
03:52My fellow Ghost-Americans
03:54It has been a long and eventful campaign
03:57And I have heard your problems
03:59And I have formulated solutions
04:01Remember, a vote for Isaac
04:04Is a vote for a movie theater-style popcorn machine
04:08In the main lobby
04:11And this is not a false promise
04:13I have actually secured Samantha's agreement on this
04:17The aromatic scent of freshly popped corn
04:21Will waft through these halls
04:23You have my word
04:28And now, representing the upstairs ghosts
04:30Flower Montero
04:32I'm nervous
04:34I told her she should walk through Gabe to get smart before her speech
04:37But she refused
04:38Wanted to do it on her own
04:40Thank you, fellow ghosts
04:41I just have one question for all of you
04:45What is this for?
04:48It's your closing statement for the election, Flower?
04:51Right
04:52The election
04:53We gotta run that son-of-a-bitch Nixon out of office, man
04:57By attending music festivals
04:59Taking acid and sucking nitrous out of balloons
05:02Who's with me?
05:07We want the movie theater popcorn thing
05:09Popcorn thing!
05:12Popcorn thing!
05:13Popcorn thing!
05:15Popcorn thing!
05:15Popcorn thing!
05:15Popcorn thing!
05:15Our girl's in trouble
05:16Popcorn thing!
05:17I gotta say, the B&B is charming as hell
05:20This restaurant is incredible
05:22And neither of you currently seems the least bit stoned
05:26The lowest of bars cleared
05:28You love to see it
05:29So, long story short, I don't know
05:31I'm feeling pretty good about this
05:33We certainly need the money, but
05:35Cards on the table
05:36We're a little worried about selling majority stake in Woodstone
05:39Right, Sam?
05:41Sam!
05:42Oh, sorry, I downloaded this stupid game
05:45I can't put it down
05:46I can help you get past that monster melon
05:47Let's talk later
05:48Now, where were we?
05:50Look, I completely get it
05:52Woodstone isn't just a business
05:53It's your home
05:54Which you are going to lose unless you close this deal
05:57I don't know what there even is to talk about
05:59But it's you guys I'm investing in
06:01I don't have time to be hands-on
06:02I like what you're doing
06:03I want you to keep doing it
06:05So, you're saying you want to give us money to save the business
06:08So we can keep running it and nothing's going to change?
06:10She's one of the great summarizers of her era
06:12Yes, and you know, if a few headlines pop up here and there
06:16About how Mayor Ted saved a local business in an election year
06:19Well, you know, so be it
06:21So, what do you say?
06:25Uh, we're in!
06:27Woodstone is saved!
06:28And it still doesn't mean you can't ask how to move in
06:30Hey Jay, bad news on the walk-in?
06:31Looks like you might need a new control board
06:34Oh
06:36Hello, Ted
06:37Mark
06:39You two know each other?
06:42Am I crazy or did Mark and Ted have some sort of score to settle?
06:45Mark did some work on my kitchen
06:47Great, he's our business partner
06:49He's the best
06:51Tad's interested in purchasing a part of our share of the business
06:54I was interested
06:56Unfortunately, if Mark's involved, I'm out
07:01What did Mark do to this man's kitchen?
07:03I ain't leaving
07:04I'm gonna find out
07:05I'm sorry
07:10Are you saying you're not gonna invest in the business because Mark is involved?
07:14That's right
07:15Going into business with someone is all about trust
07:17And Mark is not to be trusted
07:20You said you wanted bullnose countertops
07:23I would never
07:23Everything about me says sharp edges
07:27Guys, this doesn't need to be a big deal
07:29Misunderstandings happen
07:30Yeah, it wasn't a misunderstanding
07:32I couldn't have been clearer
07:33Yeah, I agree
07:34When we discussed this standing in your kitchen
07:36You clearly stated you wanted bullnose
07:41That is not what I said
07:42Two alphas going at it, I am loving it
07:44Yep, she loves alphas
07:46Look, I like you guys
07:48I like your business
07:49I like the optics of me saving the day
07:53But it's either him or me
07:54Let me know what you decide
07:58Screw that guy
07:59Trust me
08:00You're better off without him
08:03Hey, that deal fell apart faster than when I took the Hobby Lobby guys to scores for lap dances
08:08What are we supposed to do?
08:10We're deep in debt
08:11We need this Tad deal to go through, babe
08:12You gotta solve the Tad Mark beef
08:14Get those two to kiss and make up
08:16Alberta says we need to get Tad Mark to resolve their issue
08:18How?
08:19It's a he said, he said
08:20No one who wasn't standing in that kitchen with them knows the truth about how it really went down
08:25Then why don't we see if anyone else was in that kitchen?
08:28You've got ghosts, specifically one who can leave the property
08:31Okay, Jay, what if we send Pete over to Tad's house to see if there were any ghosts who witnessed
08:36the conversation that Mark and Tad are arguing about
08:38Maybe there's a ghost who heard something helpful
08:40Interesting
08:41It's worth a shot
08:42And if it doesn't work out, are debtors prisons still a thing?
08:46They may be satisfied with just the husband
08:48That's some good news
08:50I cast my vote for Isaac
08:53Thank you
08:55Another mark in the Hickentuck column
08:57This is turning into a bit of a landslide
08:59Don't be down, Flower
09:01There's still time to turn this ship around
09:05His boat analogy, cause Viking
09:07You're the best, Thor
09:09I would like to vote in the ghost representative election
09:12Though I prefer theocracy over democracy
09:15Hi, Patience, it's been a minute
09:18Haven't seen you since the whole Christmas canoodle with Trevor
09:21A lapse we shall not speak of again
09:23He proved to be a man of low morals
09:25His thick thighs and sublime buttocks notwithstanding
09:28Which leads me to the only question that matters
09:31For whom did Trevor vote?
09:33He voted for Isaac
09:34Ah, then I shall cast my vote for Flower
09:37Oh, right on
09:39No matter, my lead is still comfortable
09:42Not so fast, the bunker ghosts cast their votes for Flower
09:45Oh, hey guys
09:47What? My former brethren?
09:50Did our four hours in the cult together mean nothing?
09:53Oh, sorry, Isaac, but Flower freed us from Bruce's evil clutches
09:58And by my count, that is seven more votes for Flower and...
10:03We're tied, folks!
10:06No, no
10:07Isaac, it's kind of a bummer for either of us to have to lose
10:10What if we just did the ghost representative thing together?
10:13A power sharing arrangement?
10:15Never
10:16I have an idea
10:20So, you guys all still just staying in bunker?
10:24Yeah, it just seemed like the easiest thing
10:25Plus, the cots are super nice now that the coroner removed all our corpses
10:29Yeah, it's a total refresh
10:30Hmm
10:32Well, turns out a ghost at the mayor's house did witness the infamous bullnose counter discussion in question
10:39Really?
10:40Pete says a ghost at Tad's place did witness the conversation
10:44And the verdict is...
10:47Tad was telling the truth
10:48Mark is lying?
10:50Seriously?
10:51Not lying, mistaken
10:52Apparently, the original agreement had been to install the bullnose countertops
10:56Mark had sold the mayor on the idea that they were a classic aesthetic that would stand the test of
11:01time
11:01Same reason I installed an aquarium wall in my condo
11:04But importantly, this conversation happened two years ago
11:07Coinciding exactly with the last major update to the game Fruit Smash
11:14Okay, so, it turns out the mayor was clear about wanting the straight edge countertops
11:18But Mark wasn't listening because he was busy playing Fruit Smash
11:22Hey, so, good news about the walk-in
11:25Control board's actually still under warranty, so it looks like you saved a few bucks
11:28Hey, Mark
11:29The whole thing that happened with the mayor's kitchen, when was that exactly?
11:33Mmm, it's gotta be a couple years ago now
11:35A couple years ago? Wasn't that right around the time of a new Fruit Smash update?
11:40Why are you asking?
11:41Oh, he's thinking maybe this will jog Mark's memory, that's smart
11:44Well, it's just, um...
11:46Couldn't it be possible that the mayor was clear about the countertops
11:51And you weren't listening because you were smashing fruit?
11:57I see what's going on here
11:58Look, if you want to side with the rich guys so you can get your precious money, go for it
12:02No, Mark, it's not like that
12:04I'm your friend, and your partner
12:07If you should believe anybody, it's me, because I'm in the right here
12:10Of course you are
12:12But what if you're not?
12:15You know what? Forget you guys
12:17You want to get into bed with Tad? Go for it
12:20But make sure he buys my share too, because I don't want to be in business with people who don't
12:24even trust me
12:24Mark, wait!
12:28How do you get past Commander Cantaloupe?
12:33My best friend hates me and thinks I don't trust him
12:36Best friend?
12:37He means best visible friend, baby
12:40He's upset
12:40Yes, this is unfortunate on a personal level
12:44But at the end of the day, with Mark hating you and wanting to be bought out, the path is
12:48cleared for a deal with Tad
12:50Hetty's saying that with Mark walking, it does kind of solve our problem with Tad
12:53I don't want to solve our problem this way
12:55There wouldn't be a restaurant if it wasn't for Mark
12:57I know, it doesn't feel good
12:59Again, it was Hetty
13:00This is a stressful situation
13:02Yeah, these kids could both benefit from a little six-handed massage action
13:06I know these chicks from the Belfort batch
13:08They're probably in their 60s now, but if you close your eyes, their hands are 25
13:12You know what? Mark doesn't think that we trust him
13:15But I know a way that we can prove to him that we do
13:18Come with me, Sam
13:22Six-handed massage
13:23You are classless
13:25My aquarium wall would disagree
13:30Okay, well, with all the votes recorded, it's looking like this is an unprecedented tie
13:37Unless there's anybody who hasn't voted yet
13:40In fact, there is someone who hasn't voted yet
13:44Bruce, the time has arrived
13:47Oh, my God
13:49Howdy, everyone
13:50Oh, boy
13:51Where'd he come from?
13:53We summoned him from the dirt
13:54We played cream over a loudspeaker until he came through the basement wall
13:58Sorry, Flower
13:59Really want to smell that movie theater butter
14:03Uh, okay, so, uh, probably a formality, but, Bruce, who do you vote for?
14:09Who do I vote for? Hmm, that is a very interesting question
14:15I spent the last month wandering around in a dark exile foisted upon me by this traitorous woman I now
14:25stand before
14:26Not looking good for Flower
14:27I had a lot of time to think in the dirt
14:31Think about ways to plot revenge
14:35Ah
14:36But then a funny thing happened
14:38Between the bouts of pure panic
14:40There was a clarity that settled in
14:43And I realized I was grateful to Flower
14:47I'm sorry, what?
14:49Oh, this is taking a turn
14:50For by exposing me as a fraud
14:54She freed me from my web of lies
14:57It is for that reason that I cast my deciding vote
15:01For Sister Flower
15:02Oh, come on!
15:05Then it's official
15:06Flower is the winner
15:07We have a new ghost representative
15:09Hey, Mark, wait
15:14There's nothing left to talk about, Jake
15:15You have every reason to be mad at us
15:17We accused you of something that we couldn't prove
15:19But here's the thing, we don't just think you were wrong
15:21We know you were wrong
15:22I'm sorry, is this an apology?
15:24The reason that we know what happened in that mayor's kitchen
15:28Is a ghost told us
15:31What?
15:32Sam can see ghosts
15:33And we have a ghost on our property
15:35Who could travel to other properties
15:37It's a very rare and cool ghost power
15:39Anyway, our ghost talked to a ghost at Tad's house
15:41And that's how we know what happened
15:43This is insane
15:44This is us showing you how much we trust you
15:46By letting you in on our most closely guarded secret
15:49Sam, ask the ghost to do that thing
15:51Where they prove their existence
15:52You're gonna love this
15:53Uh, sweetie, there aren't any ghosts out here
15:55Seriously?
15:56They're always around except when you need them
15:58I'm gonna go
15:59Don't call me
16:00Mark, hold on!
16:02Just come back in the house
16:03We'll find a ghost
16:04And then we'll straighten this all out
16:07Please
16:07Mark, you are my best visible friend
16:11I promise you I wouldn't make this up
16:16Prove it
16:17You know what?
16:18I think they're in the barn
16:19Follow me
16:21Yep
16:21Here are the ghosts
16:23They're gathered for the ghost election
16:24Right
16:25The ghost election
16:26Samantha, I have suffered an ignominious defeat
16:29But I would like to request that you still go forward with installing the movie theater popcorn machine in the
16:35lobby
16:35Because the people deserve it
16:38Aww
16:40What are you talking about?
16:41What movie theater popcorn machine?
16:43I asked you earlier
16:45We had a whole conversation
16:47Was I playing a game on my phone?
16:49Perhaps
16:50Yeah, I don't remember agreeing to any of that
16:52And it sounds insane and expensive
16:55So, sorry
16:57A colonial ghost wants a popcorn machine
16:59Welcome to my life
17:01Guys, listen up
17:02We told Mark that Sam can talk to ghosts
17:04And we need your help proving it
17:05So, uh, check his pockets
17:06See how many fingers he's got behind his back
17:08You know, the classics
17:09We're happy to help
17:11Won't Thor do lighting?
17:13Yes, great
17:13The Viking ghost is gonna make the lights blink
17:16Yeah
17:19Wait one second, Thor
17:22I hate to do this
17:23But I do have a fiduciary responsibility to my constituents
17:27We'll prove your abilities to Mark
17:29But we need your word that you will procure that popcorn machine for the lobby
17:32Damn, Flower, did you walk through game?
17:35No, I'm just momentarily lucid
17:37So, what's supposed to happen here?
17:39Uh, Flower, are you escorting us?
17:41Oh yeah, big time
17:43My god
17:45She's good at this
17:46Okay, fine
17:47You can have the popcorn machine
17:52Thorfinn, do your thing
17:59And that's just an amuse-bouche
18:01There's more
18:04On the one hand, I can't believe it
18:07But on the other hand, it explains so much
18:09I mean, no offense Sam, but your behavior's been deeply weird
18:13For years
18:13A lot of that behavior has nothing to do with ghosts
18:16We probably should have told you a lot sooner
18:18We've told very few people
18:20Oh, my office said you wanted to speak
18:22No, what is he doing here?
18:24Did I not make myself clear?
18:25If he's in, I'm out
18:27I asked Sam and Jay to get in touch with you
18:28There's something I want to say
18:30Please just hear him out, Ted
18:33After replaying things in my mind a little bit
18:36I think, uh, maybe I got it wrong
18:39Really?
18:40I know I got it wrong
18:41So I'm sorry
18:43And as a gesture of my remorse
18:45I'm willing to redo the countertops
18:46Free of charge
18:50Actually, the bullnose kind of grew on me
18:52Seriously?
18:53You were right, man
18:54It's timeless
18:55It was just the principle of the thing
18:56Your apology
18:58That's good enough for me
19:00So we have a deal?
19:02We have a deal
19:05What's done is saved?
19:07I know I screamed that earlier
19:08But this time I think it's gonna stick
19:15Oh, hey, man
19:18Madam Representative
19:20Isaac, we're friends
19:22You can call me Jennifer
19:24Wait, that doesn't sound right
19:25Did you come here to glow, Flower?
19:27Is this the type of reception I have to look forward to over the next four years?
19:31No, I actually came to ask you for help
19:34It's just, ghost rep seems like such a big job
19:37And I don't really have a lot of experience with politics
19:40I mean, I was orgy co-chair of my cult
19:43But that was mostly just picking the music
19:46What I'm saying is
19:49I think I might need a vice ghost rep
19:53Really?
19:54It's just, I don't really have the time
19:56I could use help carrying the load
19:58You know, public appearances
20:00Glad handing
20:01All the boring stuff
20:02Where people are really just
20:04Kissing your butt
20:05I mean
20:07I suppose if it would help you
20:09I could
20:10Take some of that butt kiss receiving off of your plate
20:13I really appreciate this, Isaac
20:16You're welcome, Flower
20:18And if you must know
20:19I actually think you're not going to be terrible at this
20:23With my help, of course
20:24Not terrible at what?
20:26At being ghost representative
20:28Is it hard?
20:30Oh, I was orgy co-chair of my cult
20:32But that was mostly just picking the music
20:35Cool
20:38Get ready for a new Ghosts
20:40Are they in here?
20:41There's a Viking, a finance pro, a scout leader and a hippie
20:44And a purple astronaut named Ronald
20:46Only you can see him flower
20:47Right
20:48Ghosts is all new
20:49CBS next Thursday
20:51And streaming on Paramount Plus
20:53Matlock's new
20:54You in?
20:55Oh, you know it
20:56CBS next
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