- 16 hours ago
Malcolm In The Middle S01E02 [Full Movie] [Free Online HD]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:25Oh, come on.
00:30Hello?
00:31Stevie.
00:32It's Malcolm.
00:34Malcolm?
00:35Who?
00:36Yeah, it's been a few months.
00:38Look, I was just thinking about you.
00:40I figured I'd give you a call.
00:42How's little Max?
00:42How's Glenn?
00:43Cute.
00:46Needy.
00:47Great.
00:47Great.
00:48I love the pictures you sent.
00:50Yeah, you know, Max is-
00:51What's wrong?
00:52Everything!
00:52Mom and Dad and Leah and Tristan all found out at the same time in person!
00:56You have to help me come up with a smart enough lie to cover up the years of lies I
00:59already
01:00told them!
01:00I mean, it's gotta be brilliant!
01:01I told you this would happen.
01:10You did.
01:10You did.
01:11What do I do now?
01:12Do you mind?
01:14Seriously, what do I do?
01:16Confess.
01:18Apologize.
01:20Make it right.
01:21Stevie, quit clowning around.
01:22They already know there's nothing to confess.
01:24It's Mom.
01:25She sees apologies as permission to become more enraged.
01:27I've misled them for over a decade.
01:29How do I make that right?
01:31Hey Malcolm, can he call you back?
01:33It's his turn for story time and we need to finish before midnight.
01:38Okay.
01:39Thanks anyway.
01:40Sorry man.
01:43You're in a wheelchair and I'm needy.
01:46It's just not fair!
01:48Oh my god!
01:49What happened?
01:50What did I do?
01:51What did we do?
01:52We have just had the worst 24 hours of our life!
01:55We just found out!
01:56Guess who's gonna be a grandma!
01:59Isn't it amazing?
02:00We've been trying for so long, years and years of constant sex and all these weird mommy
02:05blog positions and it finally happened!
02:07Get your pee stick out of my face!
02:09Seriously?
02:10You can't even be happy for me about this?
02:13What are you trying?
02:14Who's ready for re-caulking day?
02:18I put this on your credit card.
02:20What?
02:20We just found out that Malcolm has been intentionally hiding himself from this family for years
02:25and covering it up with lies!
02:27He has a teenage daughter!
02:29A secret teenage daughter!
02:32I still think my thing's pretty important.
02:35Dad, I am so sorry.
02:38I think we all knew Malcolm would eventually betray us.
02:41That's what Harvard does to people.
02:43Or any college, really.
02:45Oh!
02:45That reminds me.
02:47Ow!
02:48Ow!
02:48Ow!
02:49Ow!
02:50What are you doing?
02:51Dad is out there emotionally destroyed!
02:53I have to trash Malcolm as much as I can before he snaps out of it.
02:56How stupid are you?
02:57You mean like professionally measured?
02:59Just because mom and dad aren't on social media you thought nobody else would find it?
03:03What?
03:03eBay?
03:04They already know I sell my underwear to pervs.
03:06What about Professor Dum Dum?
03:11Shall we peruse Greatest Hits?
03:23Who over such a beat?
03:29These new ones are just more efficient?
03:32They are so much better under Beef.
03:36I am so excited.
03:37You're sniffing.
03:37Oh! Oh! Oh!
03:39Ah!
03:41Ah! Ah!
03:42Freeze!
03:43Just unplug it!
03:45Just unplug it!
03:47Unplug it!
03:48Freeze!
03:50Oh!
03:55Thank you for my help.
03:5768 videos, millions of views.
03:59How much money have you made?
04:01Publicly humiliating dad.
04:02Including merch?
04:03Merch?
04:04You're gonna snitch?
04:05Hell yes, I'm gonna snitch.
04:07Okay, what do you want?
04:08To snitch.
04:09No, what do you want from me?
04:10To be there when I snitch.
04:12Kelly, you don't want to do that. Dad is too upset. He couldn't take it.
04:15I know that! God, this is so frustrating.
04:18It felt so good ratting Malcolm out.
04:20It was like, I found my calling.
04:23I'm an informer.
04:24It's like being a whistleblower but mean.
04:27And turning you in was going to be...
04:31Now I have to wait to spill my guts.
04:34But it's coming.
04:41What did you see?
04:43Everything.
04:48Oh my god, what happened?
04:50He just fell down for no reason.
04:52Old people do that all the time.
04:53Help! Help!
04:55Help me get him into bed.
04:57He won't!
04:58I won!
04:59Roll him!
05:02Oh my god.
05:03Oh my god.
05:04Oh my god.
05:05Oh my god.
05:06Oh, come on, come on.
05:07Watch.
05:07Watch.
05:08Okay, what do we do?
05:10Just roll him.
05:10Move this way.
05:11Roll him.
05:12Roll him.
05:12Keep your legs.
05:12Not your back.
05:20hey how far did you run six miles past the interstate i'm in much better shape than i
05:26thought i met a horse i named him cookie dad seriously i can take mom being crazy
05:35but that's only because you're not i'm so sorry i promise i'll never do anything like that again
05:41and don't call your mom crazy she just has a lot of problems primarily being crazy so anything else
05:49you've been i don't know lying to me about since i was born leah no my self-image is already
05:54screwed
05:55up and now i'm part of a family i know nothing about i mean are they murderers or geologists
06:01or have taste sacks or client filter syndrome or enjoy reading or have characteristic body
06:05language or they're athletic or super tasters i should know all of that there's no geologists
06:15i think tristan is amazing she is oh my god she must be so mad at me yeah she told
06:22grandma and
06:22grandpa i was not ready to hear you call them that they really seemed okay i i don't understand why
06:28you can't be around them i think yesterday you saw a pretty convincing demonstration
06:32i have hay in my crack i cannot go back to how i was before and i'm not gonna risk
06:37you you are perfect i want you to stay perfect
06:43okay that that's just fighting dirty you have to think of it like they're the full moon and we're
06:48werewolves it doesn't matter your cover is blown and grandma doesn't seem the type to just let things
06:54go look i need time to figure this out you need to promise me that if she contacts you you
06:58will not
06:58respond until you talk to me first okay okay no you need to promise calm down i promise
07:05thank you i need to get some sleep i'm still mad at you you'll still be mad when i wake
07:10up i believe in
07:33how could malcolm abuse my trust this way i'm so mad at him for betraying me
07:38how could malcolm abuse my trust this way i'm so mad at him for betraying me you know i'm so
07:40mad at him for betraying me
07:40by comparison reese looks pretty good sure he's impetuous but that rascal has a heart of gold
07:48he's still my favorite
07:53what's that it's the 33rd of 40 love letters your father wrote me for our anniversary
07:58two pages each front and back not a single repeat listen i have to talk to you
08:06i was so excited to tell you about the baby we tried so hard for so long and when it
08:12finally
08:12happened all i wanted to do was tell you you didn't even say congratulations
08:18you're right i'm sorry congratulations never said i was perfect yes you have well i didn't mean it
08:28look i will admit there is a part of me a part i do not like that feels like you
08:32intentionally
08:33waited until this exact moment to get pregnant just to make it harder for me to deal with all
08:38these other problems that is crazy honestly your whole life has been like you purposely planned
08:43every moment good or bad to happen at the worst possible time that's not fair it's always totally
08:48random i know i hurt your feelings and i i feel bad about it and i promise i am going
08:53to be happy
08:53about this very soon i'm going to be overjoyed just not right now i have too many other priorities
09:00right now you and the baby are number eight that is so insult wait you have a list with numbers
09:07yes
09:09how do you think i manage i have to rank everything according to how bad and how soon anniversary party
09:17is number one number two is our brand new already born granddaughter i mean she has been thrown
09:23into this circus with no preparation we have to make it as comfortable as we can for that child
09:27your father is a close number three leah has the edge because she's younger but he is in a complete
09:32meltdown number four is making reese pay for what he did number five is figuring out a way to get
09:39melcom back into this family number six is making him pay for what he did number seven is trying
09:45to keep myself from draining our life savings to pay for this party so you are number eight
09:53when she puts it that way i really can't argue with her are you kidding me we're one slot above
09:58try
09:58oat milk i know sucks to feel like you don't matter i promise i'll never do that to our kid
10:05as long as they don't piss me off too much
10:08you are an incredibly smart sexy mama
10:26you care
10:29i like the breeze
10:36hey leah hi allison see you at pizza what pizza oh oh my god i'm so sorry forget i said
10:45that i don't
10:46know what you're talking about joni's doing pizza after the social studies final
10:52i thought everyone was invited
10:56you really didn't and why do you take such delight in humiliating someone who shouldn't
11:01even be on your radar wow you really are cool
11:17morning
11:17morning is it morning oh sweetie did you know that there's a south american slug
11:28that after mating the eggs are deposited in the father
11:34and over the next three months the children slowly eat their way out of their loving father
11:42until he's an empty husk that blows away in the wind
11:47i'm just waiting for the wind lois
11:52you know we we could just let it go
11:57for a little while
12:04i'm sorry
12:07mr plumer
12:09i don't have enough money to pay your
12:12great big bill
12:16there must be some way i can
12:19satisfy you
12:20the office can put you on a payment plan
12:26did you just
12:27turn down sex
12:29i guess i did
12:30hell
12:31hell we we we don't turn down sex
12:35we've done it in weddings and funerals and and man petting zoos
12:39hell sex is our love language
12:42i know i know i'm sorry honey but
12:45can i at least give you a hug
12:50not physically
12:59thank you
13:00hey it's tristan let her rip
13:02hey tristan it's me again
13:04look i realized that you haven't returned my calls the last couple days because my messages were apologies without an
13:10explanation
13:11which i also apologize for
13:14so here it is
13:15i've been seeing a therapist the last month or so
13:18she put me on this antidepressant venalpramine
13:21i didn't realize the side effects that it caused on my moods
13:26behaviors and decision making
13:28but i am not going to use a medication that altered everything about me as an excuse
13:33no
13:33and uh i'm not going to bring leah into this either
13:36okay
13:36even though she already feels so connected to you
13:39she knows that not seeing you again
13:41isn't anything like when her mother abandoned her
13:44but please do not do this to her
13:45she's just a kid
13:49i'll be ashamed of myself after i get her back
13:53oh you're just so glad you called leah
13:55dad insisted i get to know the family right away
13:59if dad can keep secrets i can bring promises
14:02this is francis and pyama
14:03kelly
14:04jamie
14:05and dewey
14:07and this is your uncle reese
14:08who is going to explain himself and apologize to me this very second
14:12word of warning
14:13they get mad about anything around here
14:17we are just so excited about all of this
14:20we've just missed so much
14:21we have a thousand questions we'd like to ask you
14:28how
14:29don't you have a question that you'd like to ask leah
14:31uh
14:32yeah
14:33uh
14:34what do you want to do when you grow up
14:37crush your father's soul
14:38and make him question his own identity
14:42excuse us a minute
14:44welcome to the family leah
14:45gosh i wish he was able to be there to welcome you properly
15:01sorry they're um
15:03get back here in the hotel
15:05you're up right
15:06yeah hey i gotta go too
15:08i gotta sneak in the cigarette while the lieutenant's still taking a doubt
15:11don't tell me when i smoke
15:14is it me
15:15because this feels like when they make us choose lab partners
15:17no friends huh
15:20yeah you give off that vibe
15:21kids can be mean
15:23parents too
15:25so the social thing is tough huh
15:27no it's great
15:29i'm on the waiting list to move up from outcast to pariah
15:32yeah it really is fine i mean i'm used to it because like what choice do i have i mean
15:38i mean there's way worse problems
15:40yeah i'm sorry
15:41yeah
15:44leah
15:44have you ever tried
15:46being kind
15:48probably not
15:49i am nice all the time
15:51and i get treated like crap anyway
15:53nice
15:53is different than kind
15:55kindness requires empathy
15:57and
15:58empathy requires putting yourself in someone else's place
16:01so you understand how they feel
16:02do you remember ever doing that
16:07Right. That's a tough one for your dad, too.
16:10You guys have brains that are so different from other people's,
16:13it's impossible to feel like you have anything in common with them.
16:16So what am I supposed to do?
16:17Just make an arbitrary rule.
16:19If you're not getting along with someone, imagine you have empathy for them and act accordingly.
16:24Like how I imagine I'm not always on the brink of violence.
16:28Try it. See what happens.
16:31Something you want to add?
16:34I bet if I crash the car, I'd move up two spaces.
16:41Oh, honey. Leah needs her warm and loving grandpa.
16:46So sorry, Lois, but I don't think I can.
16:49I look at her and instead of a sweet kid, I just see one more person who will hurt me.
17:02Ten hut! Lois, your orders are to stay just as sweet, loving, and beautiful as the day.
17:08How first late, here's loving eyes on you!
17:11Open fire!
17:20Reload!
17:25I must be allergic to something.
17:36She fake sneezed a booger onto her chin.
17:39There's a giant chunk of snot on her chin.
17:42There's a million ways that I could nail her.
17:44Do I go funny?
17:46Do I go brutal?
17:47Do I connect it to her character flaws so it stings with some staying power?
17:51My mind is reeling!
17:57Hey, you have a thing on your chin.
17:59It happens to me all the time.
18:06Wait, wait, wait.
18:08I saw what you did back there.
18:09That giant job of the hut on her face.
18:10Oh, my God.
18:11I was just...
18:12Oh, I hate Allison.
18:13I had the perfect idea.
18:15I was going to go,
18:16Would you care for some crackers with that oyster?
18:19And then seeing what you did, I mean, I feel kind of sorry.
18:24That was, like, noble.
18:26I'm not noble.
18:28Well, or something.
18:29Leah, right?
18:30Yes, Jason.
18:31I said extra in English.
18:33And world history.
18:34Oh, right.
18:36I'm dumb.
18:38Was this a me cute?
18:40This was a me cute, right?
18:46Tristan's on her way over.
18:47I'm going to take responsibility and acknowledge the impact that my actions had on her.
18:51Or I'm going to justify it.
18:52And I'm going to frame things in a way that she thinks that it's partially her fault.
18:55Which one's gaslighting?
19:00Hi.
19:01Hey.
19:02Thank you so much for talking to me.
19:04I know how upset you are.
19:06I know how bad I screwed up.
19:07And I...
19:09I don't need to talk.
19:11I need to listen.
19:12Go ahead.
19:15I love your kid.
19:19That's all I have for positives.
19:21Good start.
19:22You totally sandbagged me.
19:24Anytime I asked you about your family, you said it was complicated.
19:27What I saw was not complicated.
19:29It was just wrong.
19:30Yes, but I have a solution for that.
19:32All those angry, vicious things I screamed at them, imagine I didn't.
19:37You have to make peace with your family, okay?
19:39For your own sake, and sure as hell for Leah's sake.
19:42You don't understand.
19:43I can't.
19:44It's not just mom and dad.
19:46It's so much worse with my brothers.
19:48I mean, all we ever do is fight, except for when we team up to fight them.
19:53You have brothers.
19:59Four.
20:00And one, non-binary.
20:02Dude.
20:03Come on.
20:04This is so much to unpack.
20:05Don't unpack.
20:06Just burn.
20:06We don't need to know...
20:07I should go.
20:13I help the poor.
20:16What?
20:17I care so much about social justice.
20:19Malcolm, what are you...
20:20I'm not bad.
20:21I'm good.
20:22I'm not bad.
20:22I'm really good.
20:23And I'm smart.
20:25Which I remember that you don't care about, because I listen, and I know how to tie shoelaces
20:29away so they never come untied, and I love you.
20:31Oh, I should have led with that, but I'm panicking.
20:33I'll start over.
20:34I can't be around you right now.
20:36I understand.
20:38I'll be here whenever you're ready.
20:42That won't be until I can trust you again.
20:46If ever.
20:54All night long.
20:56We should have called the cops.
20:58I didn't get any sleep at all.
21:00God, it's always been a loud crier.
21:02Guys, what are you doing still in your PJs?
21:05Party's in 32 hours.
21:07We still have a lot to do.
21:08According to your 20 bullet point schedule for today, I have more than enough time to finish
21:12my store brand cereal.
21:13That was before I realized that.
21:15My dress only looks right with open-toed shoes.
21:16I had to add an emergency pedicure.
21:19My toes look like twisted walnuts.
21:22Solve that one.
21:23Is dad finally asleep?
21:25No.
21:25He got up over an hour ago to help run errands.
21:28Come on, you guys.
21:30Let's go.
21:30Get the lead out.
21:33See?
21:35Completely normal.
21:36Don't be nervous.
21:37I'm not nervous.
21:38I'm desperate.
21:39I only have one day to shake off all this depression and anger so I don't ruin a party for
21:43Lois.
21:43Well, this will help.
21:45Microdosing is the best thing I ever did.
21:47It's how I lost all that weight and got a handle on my gambling addiction.
21:51I replaced it with porn.
21:54Greetings, Voyagers.
21:56Namaste.
21:57Richie?
21:59Hal!
22:00Great to see you.
22:02How's Francis?
22:03How's the family?
22:03I don't care.
22:04I need help.
22:05Worry not.
22:06I have many weeks' experience as a hallucinogenic scientist shaman concierge.
22:11We see your pain, truth seeker.
22:14We have incredible shit to deal with it.
22:16Let me give you a tour of our trip at Tori.
22:18I don't need a tour.
22:19Indulge me.
22:21Help me.
22:22Please, please.
22:25Couch, cot, water, bathroom.
22:28We recommend starting on our central chair.
22:30Some people call it a dream platform.
22:32For others, a launch pad to enlightenment.
22:35Either way, there's a puke bucket next to it.
22:38Oh, uh, we already paid.
22:39I used my coupon.
22:41Don't forget.
22:41That doesn't include tip.
22:42Right.
22:46This is the medicine.
22:49Air quotes are for the lawyers.
22:51Since you're new to this, we'll start you out with a 1.5.
22:56Where'd they go?
22:57You swallowed them.
22:59All of them?
23:00I have to divvy them out.
23:02You ate 60 milligrams.
23:03Is that too much?
23:04Well, not if you're like 15 elephants.
23:08We gotta get your stomach pumped.
23:10No!
23:12There's the only chance I have left.
23:14I'm going in.
23:20I'm gonna need a bigger bucket.
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