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The Crown S02E05 [Full Movie] [Official Release]Full EP - Full
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00:00:08The Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:11Here, attach the Queen!
00:00:14Queen's Critic!
00:00:17Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:19Come on, Jack.
00:00:21I'll take one of each this morning, please.
00:00:24And a sundae as well.
00:00:27That's right.
00:00:30Queen's Critic is headed again!
00:00:32Here, attach the Queen!
00:00:50No, I shan't have anything.
00:00:53Sorry, dear.
00:01:21I think it's right.
00:01:23Do you?
00:01:24Yeah.
00:01:25Now I think about it, she is a bit priggish.
00:01:28Oh, jee.
00:01:33Alright, man.
00:01:34Alright.
00:01:35Yeah.
00:01:35There's something too rough, man.
00:01:37There's something too rough, man.
00:01:38There's something rough, man.
00:01:40Yeah.
00:01:40Here's something.
00:01:41I reckon he has.
00:01:43Here.
00:01:57Here it's
00:01:58Come on, Axe. That's it.
00:02:01You're on Altingham.
00:02:03Yes.
00:02:07Get straight up!
00:02:44Really?
00:02:48Really.
00:02:53Really.
00:02:55Well, I shall certainly let Her Majesty know.
00:03:04Time and tide, Mr. Conservator.
00:03:07Wait for no man, Private Secretary.
00:03:09Good afternoon to you.
00:03:11Good afternoon, sir.
00:03:24What is it now?
00:03:27Lord Altrincham has been struck.
00:03:33Dumb, I hope.
00:03:35Better than that, ma'am.
00:03:37In the face.
00:03:39Quite forcefully, I'm told.
00:03:42By whom?
00:03:44Which gallant and chivalrous individual?
00:03:46I'm afraid we don't have those details yet, ma'am.
00:03:49The incident occurred outside the television studios
00:03:54and the perpetrator is now on his way to the Bow Street police station
00:03:59where we expect him to be released without charge.
00:04:03How very gratifying.
00:04:05Yes.
00:04:07Very.
00:04:08Which television studios?
00:04:10The Independent Television Network Studios, ma'am,
00:04:13where Altrincham had just recorded an interview.
00:04:17For what?
00:04:19A programme appropriately called Impact.
00:04:23When will it air?
00:04:25Tonight, ma'am.
00:04:27Nine o'clock.
00:04:47Tell the people.
00:04:48Tell them on television.
00:04:51Questions in the public mind.
00:04:53Answered by people in the public eye.
00:04:56This is Impact.
00:04:57A programme that examines the most important matters of the moment.
00:05:02And which will debate to you at home.
00:05:05Sorry I'm late.
00:05:05Robin Day puts the question.
00:05:07It's just starting.
00:05:10Tonight we have a man who, because of press activity in recent days,
00:05:14probably needs no introduction.
00:05:15Lord Altrincham.
00:05:17In the space of just a few days, his inflammatory and deeply personal attacks on the Queen,
00:05:21in a periodical of which he is also publisher,
00:05:24have become the most pressing issue of the day
00:05:26and caused something of a constitutional crisis.
00:05:29So, I'd like to begin by asking Lord Altrincham a simple question.
00:05:34She's our head of state.
00:05:36Loved, respected and admired throughout the world.
00:05:39So, why do you hate her so very much?
00:06:14To be continued...
00:06:16To be continued.
00:06:18To be continued.
00:06:21To be continued.
00:07:22And that is why the ending of doctrinal tests and the introduction of women priests is the only viable solution
00:07:28for saving the Church of England, an institution that is becoming increasingly outdated and irrelevant hour by hour.
00:07:35Who's got a thousand words for me on that?
00:07:37Hello, Patricia.
00:07:39Would anyone like some toffee?
00:07:41Oh, bring it over here, Patricia darling.
00:07:49Oh, divine.
00:07:51Much like Patricia herself.
00:07:53Come, come, my dear.
00:07:54Be seated.
00:07:55Be seated.
00:07:58Right.
00:07:59If no one's keen on the Church story, I can knock something up.
00:08:03Now, a piece on reforming the House of Laws.
00:08:06Dermot.
00:08:07You were going to look at that for me, weren't you?
00:08:08Something nutty about it.
00:08:10Mmm.
00:08:11Molasses.
00:08:11And Europe.
00:08:13We need to work out our official stance.
00:08:15Are we for or against a single European market?
00:08:21Are we in or out?
00:08:25Toffee, John.
00:08:27Oh, you must try some, John.
00:08:29Afraid I have a thing against toffee.
00:08:34Why didn't I know that?
00:08:37You can't know everything about me.
00:08:42It's not the taste I object to so much.
00:08:45I just have painful memories.
00:08:49As a child.
00:08:51Or sitting in a dentist's chair because of a piece of toffee I ate.
00:08:58Oh.
00:09:01Oh, Lord.
00:09:03Not again.
00:09:05Bye.
00:09:07Have a...
00:09:08Sarah?
00:09:09Perhaps you don't understand
00:09:12that on your steadfastness and ability
00:09:15to withstand the fatigue of dull, repetitive work
00:09:20and your great courage in meeting
00:09:22constant, small adversities
00:09:25depend in great measure
00:09:28the happiness and prosperity
00:09:30of the community
00:09:31as a whole.
00:09:38The upward course
00:09:40of a nation's history
00:09:41is due
00:09:42in the long run
00:09:44to the soundness of heart
00:09:46of its average men
00:09:48and women.
00:09:50Um...
00:09:53Working men and women?
00:09:57Has a touch more dignity?
00:10:06No, I think average is fine.
00:10:22I thought you might be interested to see this.
00:10:25It's a draft of a speech
00:10:27the Queen's going to give
00:10:28in a week's time.
00:10:30I don't mind telling you
00:10:31I felt a bit uneasy about it.
00:10:49Yeah?
00:10:51Sir, forgive me if I'm interfering
00:10:53beyond my station.
00:11:01Tommy.
00:11:02Arthur.
00:11:04You were about to interfere
00:11:05beyond your station.
00:11:09It's concerning the speech
00:11:11the Queen is due to give next week
00:11:13at the Jagger car factory.
00:11:16What about it?
00:11:17I was just...
00:11:19wondering if you were happy with it?
00:11:24Well, obviously I'm happy with it.
00:11:26Or I wouldn't have shown it
00:11:28to Her Majesty
00:11:29for the approval
00:11:30which she immediately gave.
00:11:33Did the Queen read it?
00:11:34She didn't need to.
00:11:36She merely asked
00:11:37if I was happy.
00:11:39I replied in the affirmative.
00:11:41And that was good enough
00:11:43for Her Majesty.
00:11:46But I can see
00:11:48that the really important question
00:11:50is
00:11:50is it good enough
00:11:52for Colonel Charteris?
00:11:55You don't think it
00:11:57strikes the wrong tone?
00:12:00In which sense?
00:12:02In its
00:12:04paternalism.
00:12:07May I?
00:12:12Sir?
00:12:13I suppose if I
00:12:15had a concern
00:12:18it would be that
00:12:19post-Suez
00:12:20in this new climate
00:12:23in this new Britain
00:12:26the tone
00:12:27of the speech
00:12:28is
00:12:30somewhat
00:12:30somewhat what?
00:12:36Old-fashioned.
00:12:39And would leave her
00:12:40open to attack.
00:12:42From whom?
00:12:42The newspapers.
00:12:46People.
00:12:47If I had a shilling
00:12:48for every time
00:12:49someone of a progressive
00:12:50or liberal disposition
00:12:52had warned needlessly
00:12:53of a popular attack
00:12:54against the crown
00:12:55I'd be a rich man.
00:12:57The British people
00:12:58adore their sovereign.
00:13:00It is what constitutes
00:13:01indeed defines
00:13:02being British.
00:13:04Now the worst
00:13:05I've ever encountered
00:13:06is apathy
00:13:07where people
00:13:08simply accept
00:13:09the king or queen
00:13:10as they accept
00:13:10the sky above their heads.
00:13:12But it's a long way
00:13:13from apathy
00:13:14to insurrection.
00:13:16Now as regards
00:13:17the newspapers
00:13:18the crown can count
00:13:19on their support
00:13:20for two reasons.
00:13:21First
00:13:21there is nothing
00:13:22to attack.
00:13:24That's the advantage
00:13:24of a constitutional monarchy.
00:13:26They have no power
00:13:28so there's nothing
00:13:28to complain about.
00:13:29And even if they wanted to
00:13:31they'd always let us
00:13:32know first.
00:13:34The palace would then
00:13:34threaten them
00:13:35with a boycott
00:13:36on the next
00:13:36major royal event
00:13:37causing the newspapers
00:13:39immediately to back down.
00:13:41Because the very people
00:13:42you fear
00:13:43will hate the queen
00:13:45and the same ones
00:13:46who buy copies
00:13:47in their millions.
00:13:49Why?
00:13:50Because they love her.
00:13:55So I'm worrying unnecessarily.
00:13:58Martin
00:13:59I shall leave
00:14:01the drawing of that
00:14:02inescapable conclusion
00:14:03to you.
00:14:22I'm going to take it
00:14:23in a little shorter
00:14:23man
00:14:24and rounder it back.
00:14:26Lovely.
00:14:28Lovely.
00:15:18I like it very much.
00:15:43I thought you were hoping for more children from me.
00:15:49I am.
00:15:52Why on earth would you do something like that to your hair?
00:15:56What's wrong with it?
00:15:59I thought it was tidy and sensible.
00:16:02Adjectives to stir the loins?
00:16:05Apparently it's very animoge.
00:16:07All the regimental wives are wearing their hair like this now.
00:16:10Really?
00:16:11Yes.
00:16:11It's certainly very practical.
00:16:13And should you ever feel compelled to ride a motorcycle, it could almost double as a helmet.
00:16:20Well, I like it.
00:16:25I have nothing against it.
00:16:27Stop it.
00:16:28Sure, it would provide ample protection against any falling masonry.
00:16:37But if enlarging the family and enticing your husband to procreate is the goal...
00:16:43It is.
00:16:44Then you might take a look at Jane Mansfield.
00:16:48Or Rita Hayworth.
00:16:51Or Rita Hayworth.
00:16:54Or Rita Hayworth.
00:16:54Who would change your coat into their clothing?
00:16:54For a 44 years later, there of course is gonna be a lot of lars that might appear.
00:17:03What people would look like, those conditions of the match...
00:17:04...and the horrible romance.
00:17:07Uh...
00:17:13Oh, dear.
00:17:14Look at all.
00:17:14Yes.
00:17:18Hi, Ed...
00:17:18Sir William tão talkiniel.
00:17:19Sir William from...
00:17:19Welcome, Your Majesty.
00:17:21Joe.
00:17:21Handsome, said you.
00:17:22Elliot.
00:17:23Eliot.
00:17:24This is our research and development area?
00:17:29No, no, it's all not.
00:17:30May I introduce you, ma'am, to Nigel Willoughby,
00:17:33who sketches all of our prototypes?
00:17:36You studied drawing, did you?
00:17:38Very good teacher.
00:17:40And that's a chassis?
00:17:41Yes, indeed.
00:17:42A finished MK1, Your Majesty.
00:17:45Ah, no, that's lovely.
00:17:47With top speeds of over 100 miles per hour.
00:17:51Quite the thing.
00:17:52I've always been interested in the red leather.
00:17:55Horse.
00:17:55Is it horse or cow?
00:17:57Hello.
00:18:10I wish first to express to you
00:18:13my very great pleasure at being here today.
00:18:18My husband and I have been most profoundly moved
00:18:21by your hospitable welcome
00:18:24and would like you to know how very grateful we are
00:18:27to you all for the work that you do.
00:18:32We understand that in the turbulence of this anxious and active world,
00:18:39many of you are leading uneventful, lonely lives,
00:18:44where dreariness is the enemy.
00:18:48Perhaps you don't understand that on your steadfastness and ability to withstand the fatigue of dull, repetitive work
00:18:58depend in great measure the happiness and prosperity of the community as a whole.
00:19:07The upward course of a nation's history is due, in the long run, to the soundness of heart of its
00:19:15average men and women.
00:19:18May you be proud to remember how much depends on you,
00:19:23and that even when your life seems most monotonous,
00:19:27what you do is always of real value and importance to your fellow.
00:19:34Well, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:36Well, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:39Come on, everybody, let's have a wonderful time.
00:19:42Lord Orchner.
00:19:44Evening, Richard.
00:19:46News Corical.
00:19:48Evening, Richard.
00:19:55Ah, I need a favour, some typing.
00:19:57Oh, you're going home.
00:19:59I don't need to be.
00:20:05I've just heard a ridiculous speech by the Queen, and I want to write an immediate response.
00:20:11Well, I'll find someone else.
00:20:13No, no, it's no trouble.
00:20:15I had nothing else planned.
00:20:46I've had another thought.
00:20:47Super.
00:20:48A rather heretical thought.
00:20:51I got the idea from something Walter Badgett said about the first duty of royalty being to inspire.
00:20:57I don't know how it's going to be, will I be there?
00:20:59Come on.
00:21:01You're going to call me.
00:21:04You're going to call me a time, and I've got a time with my father.
00:21:05Come on, sir.
00:21:16Come on.
00:21:16Come on.
00:21:16One, two, two, three, three.
00:21:22You're going to call me a house.
00:21:24Can't find that a great night.
00:21:24You've got a father.
00:28:10Excuse me.
00:28:16I asked you to come because I had a phone call an hour ago from a television producer
00:28:21inviting me to record an interview this afternoon.
00:28:25Which program?
00:28:27Impact with Robin Day.
00:28:31I wish it weren't day.
00:28:33We all wish it weren't day.
00:28:35It's terrifying.
00:28:36Don't be silly.
00:28:37The fact that it's day is what makes it valuable.
00:28:41You don't think I'm walking into a trap?
00:28:43You walked into the trap when you wrote the article.
00:28:46Now you're the most unloved individual in Britain.
00:28:50Ironically, Day is the one person who could help you.
00:28:54Why?
00:28:56You've seen how he interviews people.
00:28:58He dismembers them, tears them to shreds.
00:29:01Yes, but keep your cool under his scrutiny.
00:29:05Make your case politely, respectfully, intelligently.
00:29:10It could turn people around.
00:29:31Lord Aldrian, how do you do?
00:29:33How do you do?
00:29:33Shall we?
00:29:34Yes.
00:29:34This way.
00:29:35Thank you for coming.
00:29:36Not at all.
00:29:37How long do we have until we start?
00:29:39Well, we'll put them to make up quickly.
00:29:40I think we should make a start for 10 minutes.
00:29:43Just here, if you will.
00:29:45All right.
00:29:48Let myself to water.
00:29:50Shouldn't be too long.
00:29:53All good.
00:29:59He's standing by, sir.
00:30:00He's prepared.
00:30:05Let's make a start.
00:30:13Can we tell them how all this works?
00:30:15Recording now, transmission tonight.
00:30:18Yes.
00:30:25Tonight, we have a man who, because of press activity in recent days, probably needs no
00:30:30introduction, Lord Altrincham.
00:30:32In the space of just a few days, his inflammatory and deeply personal attacks on the Queen, in
00:30:37a periodical of which he is also publisher, have become the most pressing issue of the
00:30:42day and caused something of a constitutional crisis.
00:30:45So, I'd like to begin by asking Lord Altrincham a simple question.
00:30:50She's our head of state, loved, respected, and admired around the world.
00:30:54So, why do you hate her so very much?
00:30:57I don't.
00:30:59Then why criticize her like this?
00:31:02That's like asking an art critic why he criticizes art.
00:31:06I'm a passionate monarchist who believes constitutional monarchy is Britain's greatest invention.
00:31:11Do you, indeed?
00:31:13Yes, I do.
00:31:13I believe that monarchy provides clarity.
00:31:16A symbolic head of state transcending the self-serving interests of the egocentric and
00:31:23self-motivated politicians who go in and out of office, who, as King Lear wonderfully
00:31:29says, ebb and flow by the moon.
00:31:32But when working at its best, monarchy can rise above such matters and unify a society.
00:31:37It can set the tone and become the embodiment of the nation, of national character.
00:31:41But the problem is, at the moment, it's not doing that.
00:31:46It's doing very little right, as far as you're concerned.
00:31:48No, that's not true.
00:31:50You would like to see Her Majesty endowed with superhuman powers.
00:31:53It's not superhuman to be a little spontaneous.
00:31:55Judging from your article, you'd like the Queen to have the qualities of a wit.
00:31:59You'd like her to be a better orator, a TV personality, in addition to being a diligent, dutiful and devoted
00:32:07monarch and a mother.
00:32:08All I'm suggesting is that in her public speeches and in her appearances, she should be more natural.
00:32:15Her style of speaking is, quite frankly, a pain in the neck.
00:32:20She sounds strangled.
00:32:23I had the misfortune of hearing one of the Queen's speeches in a dental waiting room recently.
00:32:28I was horrified by the indifference and inertia with which the speech was greeted.
00:32:34But you'd accept that being Queen and Head of the Church of England is not an easy job, or a
00:32:40simple one.
00:32:40If you'll forgive me, it's arguably a harder job than editing a small periodical.
00:32:46No, I quite agree.
00:32:47Her Majesty is a seemingly impossible task.
00:32:50She has to be ordinary and extraordinary, touched by divinity and yet one of us.
00:32:55But being ordinary doesn't have to mean bland, or ineffectual, or forgettable.
00:33:03And against whom do you lay the main charge? Her courtiers?
00:33:06In the end, if the court is wrong, if the set-up is wrong, you have no choice but to
00:33:11criticise the boss.
00:33:12The Queen?
00:33:13Yes, because only the boss can get rid of the bad servants.
00:33:18She hires them. She alone can fire them.
00:33:22Now, they may be bad. I believe some of them at the moment are.
00:33:25They're quite dreadful.
00:33:26But it is her responsibility.
00:33:29It's not theirs, in the sense that they're just hired hands.
00:33:33And so the personal attack on the monarch continues.
00:33:36Let me just say this.
00:33:38To criticise the monarchy, to criticise Her Majesty personally, gives me no satisfaction.
00:33:44But we have to remember that since the Second World War, since Suez, Britain has changed beyond recognition.
00:33:51And yet the monarchy continues its pre-war routines as though nothing has happened.
00:33:56Now, I believe it would serve the Queen and her courtiers well to remember that until recently, monarchies were the
00:34:02rule, and republics the exception.
00:34:04But today, republics are the rule, and monarchies very much the exception.
00:34:14Lord Altringham, I have to terminate the interview. I'm obliged to you for answering my questions.
00:34:19Next week, at the same time, there will be another edition of Impact.
00:34:23Good night.
00:34:25That went very well.
00:34:34Thank you again, Lord Altringham.
00:34:35Good afternoon, thank you.
00:34:36Good day.
00:34:48Lord Altringham?
00:34:50Yes?
00:34:52You traitor!
00:35:00Congratulations.
00:35:01Well done.
00:35:03Now some white?
00:35:04Well done.
00:35:05Something stronger.
00:35:06What about a brandy?
00:35:08Why not?
00:35:09Well done.
00:35:11Well done.
00:35:12I'm sick.
00:35:15Oh, be calm.
00:35:17Really?
00:35:18Manly, I'm a wreck.
00:35:31Your Majesty.
00:35:32Yes, what is it, Michael?
00:35:35There have been some reactions in the newspapers to last night's television interview and to the assault upon Lord Altringham.
00:35:43Now, I'm afraid it's not quite as we'd hoped.
00:35:49Why not?
00:35:51Well, the man that struck Altringham, it turns out, is a member of the extreme right League of Empire Loyalists,
00:36:00which is a pressure group that campaigns against the dissolution of the Empire and has a clear doctrine of English
00:36:09racial supremacy.
00:36:10Oh, dear.
00:36:13And it seems that most people have decided, having watched Altringham on the television, that he is eminently reasonable.
00:36:25Now, almost half the country appears to agree with his sentiments, and there are new polls to support this.
00:36:34Letters to the Daily Mirror are running at four to one in Altringham's favour.
00:36:39And even the normally conservative Daily Mail changed its tune this morning.
00:36:49In addition, and this, I believe, reflects on his growing concern at some of the telephone calls that he has
00:36:56been receiving,
00:36:58the Prime Minister has suggested that he'd come up a week earlier than planned in order to discuss it all
00:37:05with you in person.
00:37:08Goodness.
00:37:09A constitutional crisis.
00:37:12Well, I hope you're going to apologise to Mr Macmillan, too.
00:37:16No.
00:37:17You're not going to deny that this hell mess springs from a badly written speech which I gave unquestioningly because
00:37:22I trusted you.
00:37:25Perhaps Lord Altringham is right.
00:37:27Perhaps I should surround myself with younger, more dynamic people with one foot in the real world.
00:37:34Come here.
00:37:36Come here.
00:38:01And you believe it's now a government measure?
00:38:04I do, ma'am.
00:38:06Ambassadors from all around the world have been calling me.
00:38:10Concerned.
00:38:12Her Majesty will hardly need reminding a great many other countries
00:38:16who have overthrown their monarchies and become republics in recent years.
00:38:22Egypt, Bulgaria, Italy, Tunisia only last month.
00:38:26Of course, we're not at that point.
00:38:29Not at a red light.
00:38:31We're not even at an amber.
00:38:34But we'd hate it to become amber.
00:38:38And so it is my view, the government's view, that it would be wise to contain this as soon as
00:38:44possible.
00:38:44And do what?
00:38:46The obvious thing.
00:38:49Altringham is a fire which needs to be put out.
00:38:55Go at you.
00:39:02Go at you.
00:39:16Go at you.
00:39:19Go at you.
00:39:29Pallas has offered up a chap called Charteress.
00:39:33To meet.
00:39:35I looked him up.
00:39:36He used to be her principal private secretary.
00:39:40Well, there you are.
00:39:42Before the king died.
00:39:45When she was princess.
00:39:48And now?
00:39:50He's assistant private secretary.
00:39:54So, not quite a pawn, but certainly not a bishop or knight either.
00:39:59Go.
00:40:01Go in order to be fobbed off.
00:40:03Go in the spirit of openness and wanting to work together.
00:40:06If they wanted to work together, they would have sent someone higher up.
00:40:09Go.
00:40:11All right.
00:40:13And take a list of suggestions.
00:40:16Recommendations.
00:40:18Don't go empty-handed.
00:40:26Not yet.
00:40:28John.
00:40:28Your tooth.
00:40:29John.
00:40:31Sorry.
00:40:32Don't go empty-handed.
00:40:34Don't go empty-handed.
00:40:53Don't go empty-handed.
00:40:54Don't go empty-handed.
00:40:56Don't go empty-handed.
00:40:58Don't go empty-handed.
00:40:59Don't go empty-handed.
00:41:00Don't go empty-handed.
00:41:01Don't go empty-handed.
00:41:01Don't go empty-handed.
00:41:02I'm coming, sir.
00:41:33Lord Ortringham?
00:41:35Yes.
00:41:36This way, please.
00:42:05Good to know I'm seeing the top man, in one sense.
00:42:20Here we are, Lord Ortringham.
00:42:22Colonel Charteris will be with you shortly.
00:42:28Sir.
00:42:52I see we have something in common.
00:42:57And what would that be?
00:43:05Your Majesty.
00:43:10I was referring to the photos of Eton and Sandhurst.
00:43:15Oh.
00:43:16Which you attended to, I gather.
00:43:19Yes.
00:43:20Going on to become an officer of the guards at both St. James's Palace and Windsor Castle.
00:43:27Doesn't quite fit the profile of a revolutionary.
00:43:31It's the assumption everyone has made.
00:43:33But because I dare offer an opinion, I must be trying to burn the temple down.
00:43:38On the contrary, I'm trying to make sure it survives.
00:43:42Well, those of us in the temple are very much looking forward to hearing what it is we must do
00:43:47in order to survive.
00:43:50Shall we begin?
00:43:54Is my voice all right?
00:43:57You can understand me?
00:44:01Yes.
00:44:02Yes.
00:44:02Not too strangled?
00:44:03Not too much of pain in the neck?
00:44:06No.
00:44:07Good.
00:44:10So, what is it that you'd have me change?
00:44:13It's not so much what I'd have you change, just an acknowledgement that it has changed.
00:44:20What?
00:44:22Everything.
00:44:25And to prepare yourself for the fact we now live in a time where people like me...
00:44:32Can say exactly what they think?
00:44:34Yes.
00:44:35In any way they want?
00:44:37Yes.
00:44:38And remind me, why is that exactly?
00:44:44Because the age of deference is over.
00:44:48And what is left without deference?
00:44:52Anarchy?
00:44:54Equality.
00:44:55How can it be equality when I cannot return the fire?
00:44:58You can.
00:44:59But I struggle to think of a moment in history where it has worked to a monarch's advantage to return
00:45:05fire on their own people.
00:45:07But you have managed to think of how this monarch might do something to her advantage.
00:45:13I have.
00:45:14And that same monarch is sitting before, forgive me, a failed politician and an unrecognized journalist,
00:45:25and taking his advice on how to do her job.
00:45:30The situation is as baffling to me as it is to you, Your Majesty.
00:45:48Ah!
00:45:49You've got a list.
00:45:51I do.
00:45:53As you might know from my article, I made a series of observations, recommendations of things to change.
00:45:59But for the purposes of this meeting, I chose to limit those recommendations to, um, six.
00:46:07Six.
00:46:09Three things to start and three things to stop.
00:46:12Well, let's start with the stops.
00:46:17Very well.
00:46:18Ah, yes.
00:46:20Putting an end to the debutante's ball.
00:46:24The idea that only young women of a certain class are presented to the Sovereign,
00:46:29and women who are not of that class are not presented to the Sovereign and somehow not acceptable.
00:46:35This is the sort of iniquity that should have died out with our grandparents' generation, certainly after the war.
00:46:46Next.
00:46:49Uh, allow divorced people to move more freely in royal circles.
00:46:58Why?
00:47:00The Sovereign is head of the Church of England, and the Church does not recognize divorced persons.
00:47:05It's unkind.
00:47:08Discriminatory.
00:47:09Quite possibly unlawful.
00:47:14Next.
00:47:17Uh, I would recommend getting rid of an entire generation of court here.
00:47:23The old school.
00:47:24Stuck in the past.
00:47:26Ostriches with their heads buried in the sand.
00:47:30They're stopping the palace evolve in keeping with the rest of the world.
00:47:33Those ostriches provide an indispensable function of monarchy.
00:47:39The preservation of tradition.
00:47:44You asked for my recommendations, ma'am.
00:47:48I'm respectfully passing them on.
00:47:54What would you have me start?
00:47:57Open up, ma'am.
00:48:00Know the drawbridge.
00:48:03Let people get to know you.
00:48:05I don't wish to be known.
00:48:09Televise the Christmas speech.
00:48:12Become more transparent.
00:48:14Accessible.
00:48:18And finally.
00:48:19Oh, finally.
00:48:20Spend time with normal people.
00:48:23Not just courtiers or the great and the good, but real people.
00:48:27Average people.
00:48:29Working people.
00:48:32Open the doors.
00:48:34Make it more inclusive and egalitarian.
00:48:40Let normal people get to know you too.
00:48:56Would you mind stepping out into the corridor for a moment?
00:48:59Not at all.
00:49:08And would you ask my private secretary to come in?
00:49:12Of course.
00:49:19Your Majesty.
00:49:35General Choppers.
00:49:44Get the papers.
00:50:01Orange.
00:50:04Lens.
00:50:18when i went back into the room she was gone
00:50:24vanished into thin air do sit down charteress then went home to tell me that no one can ever
00:50:31know that i met the queen and that should i ever claim that i did the palace would robustly deny
00:50:36it
00:50:38they will however concede that i had an appointment with her majesty's assistant
00:50:42private secretary and that concessions might be made to one or two of my recommendations
00:50:51may i ask which ones
00:51:00let's get these lights in quickly with that camera
00:51:05this one next well done now let's have the rest of the pig
00:51:20you're like an actress a common little showgirl don't be silly
00:51:28in what way am i different memorizing lines and remembering angles wearing makeup
00:51:36the queen of the united kingdom for one thing yes who's memorizing lines and remembering
00:51:41angles and wearing makeup
00:51:54your majesty
00:51:58right where do you want me this way please ma'am
00:52:12you
00:52:14and
00:52:14in
00:52:16in
00:52:16in
00:52:17in
00:52:36Matt?
00:53:21Five, four, three.
00:53:28Happy Christmas.
00:53:3325 years ago, my grandfather broadcast the first of these Christmas messages.
00:53:40Today is another landmark, because television has made it possible for many of you to see
00:53:47me in your homes on Christmas Day.
00:53:51My own family often gather round to watch the television, as they are at this moment, and
00:53:58that is how I think of you all now.
00:54:00I very much hope that this new medium will make my Christmas message more personal and
00:54:07direct.
00:54:10It is inevitable that I should seem a rather remote figure to many of you, a successor
00:54:18to the kings and queens of history, someone whose face may be familiar in newspapers and
00:54:25films, but who never really touches your personal lives.
00:54:30But now at least, for a few minutes, I welcome you into the peace of my own home.
00:54:42That it is possible for some of you to see me today is just another example of the speed
00:54:49at which things are changing all around us.
00:54:57I would like to read a few lines from Pilgrim's Progress.
00:55:09And though with great difficulty I am got hither, yet now I do repent me of all the trouble
00:55:17I have been at to arrive where I am.
00:55:20My sword I give to him that shall succeed me in my pilgrimage, and my courage and skill
00:55:29to him that can get it.
00:55:32My marks and scars I carry with me to be a witness for me that I have fought his battles,
00:55:42who now
00:55:43will be my reward.
00:55:51I hope that 1958 may bring you God's blessings and all the things that you long for.
00:56:01And so I wish you all, young and old, wherever you may be, all the fun and enjoyment and peace
00:56:10of a very happy Christmas.
00:56:15And we're off air.
00:56:30Congratulations.
00:56:31Thank you for the graceful of the Lord.
00:56:42Thank you so much.
00:56:44Thank you so much.
00:56:46Thank you very much.
00:56:56Thank you so much.
00:57:14Oh, hello.
00:57:15Oh, my, my.
00:57:17You look pretty.
00:57:19About the dress.
00:57:21And the hair, very unregimental.
00:57:23Oh, yes, Tony, you're the top person, of course.
00:57:25Only stylist who could be trusted.
00:57:27Hmm. Does he have a name, a stylist?
00:57:31I want to say Victor Cabomb.
00:57:32No, that's not quite right.
00:57:33Um, Vidal Baboon?
00:57:36Vidal Baboon.
00:57:37Yes, I think.
00:57:38Well, anyway, I talk endlessly about the hair as a geometric art form.
00:57:41It looks jolly pretty.
00:57:43And if you happen to have a number for this baboon,
00:57:45I might pass it on to my wife.
00:57:48Is that appropriate, by the way,
00:57:49that a red-blooded man should know the correct hairdresser for a woman?
00:57:53There's almost nothing that's appropriate about Tony.
00:57:55But he's made it his mission in life to improve me.
00:58:00Your very own little old, Fringham?
00:58:02Yes.
00:58:03Just rather better in bed, I suspect.
00:58:09Oh, dear God.
00:58:10Good one.
00:58:16There it is.
00:58:18Thank you very much.
00:58:21Who do you suppose that is?
00:58:23It could be Mr. David Smith, a car dealer.
00:58:29And that?
00:58:30I believe that is Harriet the Hammer Jones.
00:58:37A boxer from the old Kent Road.
00:58:42Rounding up the numbers, we have a local restaurateur,
00:58:46a bus driver,
00:58:48a bank clerk,
00:58:50and a woman in peace.
00:58:54All to open things up.
00:58:56Yes, bring us more in line with the real world.
00:58:59To democratise us.
00:59:02And so it goes.
00:59:06The stings and bites we suffer
00:59:08as it slips away.
00:59:11Bit by bit.
00:59:12Piece by piece.
00:59:15Our authority.
00:59:17Our absolutism.
00:59:19Our divine rights.
00:59:29The history of the monarchy in this country
00:59:32is a one-way street of humiliation,
00:59:34sacrifices and concessions in order to survive.
00:59:37First the barons came for us,
00:59:39then the merchants,
00:59:40now the journalists.
00:59:41Small wonder we make such a fuss about curtsies,
00:59:43protocol and precedent.
00:59:45It's all we have left.
00:59:46The last scraps of armour
00:59:48as we go from ruling to reigning to...
00:59:53To what?
00:59:54To being nothing at all.
00:59:59Mary Annette.
01:00:07Right.
01:00:08Gloves on.
01:00:10Right.
01:00:13I told the master of the household
01:00:15to rotate the guests between courses
01:00:17so if you get a dud,
01:00:18don't worry.
01:00:19It'll be 15 minutes at work.
01:00:43Mr. and Mrs. David Smith.
01:00:44Oh, here we go to the hospital.
01:00:46Hello, thank you.
01:00:47Very nice.
01:00:48Mr. and Mrs. Patel.
01:00:49Hello, dear.
01:00:50Thank you for coming.
01:00:52Mr. Harry the Hamlet.
01:00:53Lovely tie.
01:00:53I play so much fun with you.
01:00:55Thank you so much fun.
01:00:56You look absolutely...
01:00:57Mr. Martin Jones.
01:00:58What can't you tell him, please?
01:01:00Hello, Mrs. Patel.
01:01:01Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Patel.
01:01:02Sergeant Ethel Denmark.
01:01:04Hello, dear.
01:01:05Such a pleasure to have you with us.
01:01:07Oh, here they come.
01:01:08Dog dogs.
01:01:09Oh, here they come.
01:01:39Oh, here they come.
01:02:09Oh, here they come.
01:02:10Oh, here they come.
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