- 1 day ago
Going Dutch S02E11 [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:08I was saving it for you.
00:10Oh.
00:11You know, we really should have taken a holiday like this a long time ago.
00:14Yeah.
00:15Well, this is the best you've ever looked.
00:17I gave you a little BBL.
00:18I like my mermaids with some whale tail.
00:20What the hell is going on here?
00:23I said to bag the sand, not playing it like children.
00:26These are just the leftovers, okay?
00:28We ran out of sandbags.
00:28After filling up every single one, by the way, which felt like overkill.
00:32It's not overkill, okay?
00:33There's a biblical storm coming.
00:35A once-in-a-lifetime storm, supposedly.
00:37Like a great man once said,
00:39one day a rain may come and wash all the scum from these streets.
00:43Did you just call Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver a great man?
00:46Travis was a Vietnam veteran,
00:47and he knew the value of firearms and physical fitness.
00:53Storm's coming.
00:54Get back to work, Papadakis.
00:56I prefer Murmadakis.
00:57I'm not about to call you Murm...
01:00Stop looking at me.
01:22Hey, the NATO base in Mons has flooded because of the storm,
01:27and I told General Martin that she and her troops can come here and we will put them up.
01:30Oh, your old hottie slumber party.
01:33It's not a real slumber party, and I don't care if their hotties are busted.
01:36Thank you, Conway.
01:37Oh, you got it.
01:38What's happening?
01:39The colonel and I have been doing a generational cultural exchange.
01:41I taught him busted, and he taught me about something called Credence Clearwater Revival.
01:45Very good, Conway.
01:46Yeah.
01:47The troops are on their way.
01:48I want you guys to be aware of the fact you're going to have to share quarters, okay?
01:51And Sergeant Conway is in charge of the accommodation, so she will assign everybody.
01:55Does General Martin have any special requests?
01:56I think General Martin is all set.
01:59Okay.
01:59Sorry.
02:00Well, I don't know what's going on here.
02:02Sounds like your Canadian girlfriend's trying to move in with you.
02:05No.
02:06Yeah.
02:06That's not what I said.
02:07That's how it starts.
02:08Come over.
02:08I got central AC.
02:10Next thing you know, you're signing the name to the lease.
02:12I don't know what you're talking about.
02:14Trust me.
02:14Sooner or later, General Martin's going to be wearing her night guard to bed and letting
02:18her panties dry in the shower.
02:19That's not going to be happening, okay?
02:22I just hope that you're ready to give up your side of the bed.
02:25My side of the bed is the whole bed, okay?
02:28There's no two sides.
02:29It's my side.
02:30Got it.
02:30And all the nuts.
02:31Interesting fact.
02:31Interesting.
02:32That's a point of view, sir.
02:33I'm your superior officer.
02:35We are, my guy.
02:35You're not allowed to mock me.
02:47Hi.
02:48Hi.
02:53Um, you know, things have been so busy since yesterday when we, uh, kissed.
02:59That kiss was amazing.
03:00It was?
03:01It was something out of a movie.
03:01Yeah, okay, yeah.
03:03It's the best kiss of my life, so.
03:04Yeah, me too.
03:05But we also thought, like, maybe you were going to die.
03:07Yeah, I might die, but.
03:07So.
03:08I guess there's only one way to find out.
03:11Yeah.
03:16Hmm.
03:18Um.
03:20That wasn't quite.
03:21As good.
03:22Yes, I remembered it.
03:24Yeah.
03:25It's me.
03:25It's me.
03:26Okay, you know how, like, some people find sneaking around really, like, sexy?
03:28Yeah.
03:29Yeah, well, you know what I found really sexy?
03:30What?
03:30Following the rules.
03:31Okay.
03:32And I think that's what's happening here.
03:34I understand.
03:35Okay.
03:35Yeah.
03:36But we want to do this.
03:37But we want to do this.
03:37Okay.
03:37We got to do this.
03:38Yeah.
03:39We'll just, um.
03:40Work our way up to it.
03:41Work our way up to it.
03:43Hmm.
03:44Come on in.
03:45Everything is normal in here.
03:46The door is not closed for any reason at all.
03:47We are good here.
03:48How are you?
03:56Okay, I'm not going to say it's a good thing that there's a flood, because thoughts and
03:59prayers to the tulip farmers, obviously, but it's not a bad thing that I'm going to
04:03get more face time with General Martin.
04:05No.
04:06I hope she's not thinking that this is going to be some kind of a step for the relationship,
04:10you know, like step forward, because I'm not really, I don't want to take a step in
04:13any direction.
04:14Yeah, you've got to accept that it's a step.
04:16Really?
04:16Yeah.
04:16Because our relationship is, like, so sexy and fun.
04:18Those are the two things we're built on, and scotch and innuendo.
04:23Four things.
04:23Those are, like, that's our foundation.
04:25It's just, like, drinking and messing around, you know what I mean?
04:28Like, I don't think even with an act of God that that would change.
04:32Have you ever considered that maybe God wants you two to be together?
04:37Okay, you know I have Catholic stuff.
04:39That's creepy for you to use that against me.
04:41Just bring him into my temporary office.
04:44We made it.
04:45Now, get me out of these damp clothes and pour me a scotch.
04:48Hurry.
04:51See?
04:52Sexy and fun.
04:53Okay.
04:54You know, sometimes you just forget that you're my dad.
04:56Yeah, who's Catholic now?
05:04Captain, since I'm still aidless, I was hoping you could step into the role while I'm on base.
05:09Yes, ma'am.
05:11Man, I am not hating this flood.
05:13But thoughts and prayers to the tulip farmers.
05:16I hate tulips.
05:17Captain, I just saw a soldier in pajamas.
05:20I told them pajama night can never happen.
05:23What's next?
05:23Charades and s'mores?
05:25Snack time, everyone.
05:27Some welcoming snacks for a lovely guest.
05:29We got chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers.
05:31But I wasn't sure, do you put ranch dressing on this or not?
05:34I can never really get when you guys like ranch dressing on food and when you don't.
05:42So I guess we proved you can put maple syrup on anything pretty much, right?
05:47Having a Canadian roommate isn't so bad, is it?
05:52Oh.
05:53Sorry, I thought we were calling it.
05:54We can call it.
05:55Okay.
05:56Yeah, let's call it.
05:57Okay.
05:57If I don't use this thing, I gnaw through my own jaw.
05:59Yeah, yeah.
06:00Got it.
06:01Not a problem.
06:03I mean, you got to do what you...
06:18It's Saturday.
06:19What do you want to do today?
06:21Saturdays, I have to sharpen my hunting knives, and it takes a long time.
06:26I've got to be really super focused, so I have to be kind of by myself.
06:28But what are you going to do?
06:29I was going to watch some human cockfighting.
06:32You're okay.
06:33You what?
06:35Human cockfighting.
06:36Where?
06:40Oh, wow.
06:41This is a fun Saturday.
06:43What do you think we were going to do together?
06:44Go to Ikea?
06:48Oh, man.
06:51Do we have any, like, softer one of these weapons?
06:53I just, I was led to believe that this wouldn't hurt in any way.
06:57And, like, I guess we're just missing nap time.
07:00How did that rather-zoftig fellow get into the army?
07:03Oh, well, Corporal Papadakis has many extraordinary talents.
07:08And hand-on-hand combat is not one of them.
07:13But at least he's getting his nap time.
07:15Bye.
07:1750-year-old if you don't hit me, yeah?
07:19Yeah.
07:19Fine.
07:20100-year-old.
07:21It's so great having real soldiers on the base, you know what I mean?
07:24It's just, ah, I haven't seen one pair of open-toe shoes.
07:27But our guys are getting pummeled.
07:29Okay, we got ourselves a negotiator.
07:31Fake Louis Vuitton luggage set.
07:33Oh, my God.
07:34You have interesting friends.
07:36Well, they have unconventional skills.
07:39What about you?
07:41Are you interesting?
07:43Oh, I'm uninteresting.
07:45Good.
07:45Yeah.
07:46Because after the debacle with my last aid, smoking something called Afghani trainwreck,
07:50I need somebody totally by the book.
07:52You got it.
07:53Oh, wow.
07:54By the book.
07:57Oh!
07:58Oh!
07:59Fine!
08:00Real Louis Vuitton luggage set, but that's my final offer.
08:04So, was it good for you?
08:05Listen, all joking aside, was it true what you said about that private's mom?
08:09Oh.
08:09He sure cried like it was true.
08:11He did.
08:13I sure got hit in the head a lot.
08:16Yeah.
08:17But you always got right back up.
08:19I sure got hit in the head a lot.
08:23Is he going to be okay?
08:24I don't know.
08:26General Martin said we can't go to the medic unless we want to be diagnosed as weak.
08:29Your dad with General Martin equals disaster.
08:32Okay.
08:33Look, it's only for a few more days, so, I don't know, try to make friends tonight.
08:37Don't have sex with them.
08:38Or do.
08:39I don't know.
08:39I'm not your mom.
08:40What?
08:42So, uh, do you guys do that stick fighty thing every day?
08:47No.
08:48Some days it's paintball.
08:50General Martin designed her own guns.
08:52They are very powerful.
08:54Looks like it.
08:56Oh, we have got to get our hands on those paintball guns.
08:59I sure got hit in the head.
09:01A lot.
09:02Most people now.
09:06We need to stay in power.
09:30We need to stay in power.
09:32those paintball guns before tomorrow because unless general martin made those paintball guns
09:35shoot mimosas i am not letting that demon ruin my sunday too because general martin's idea of fun
09:40is torture oh i didn't find guns but i think i might have found something else great all i found
09:53these candy jawbreakers that's not candy paintballs hey hey what's going on nothing i was just uh
10:07watching a youtube compilation with martin of uh old people falling down and then when they fall
10:11in water we drink so pretty drunk let me grab some scotch wait are the old people hurt uh not
10:16the ones
10:17who fall in the water you know as long as they can swim which a lot of them can't anyways
10:21i realized
10:22something it's pretty cool man i'm liking having her around it turns out when you like somebody
10:26the way i like her and you take that little step it could be a good thing and i came
10:30to that
10:31conclusion on my own i didn't need therapy like that family court judge said i did right yeah i guess
10:37uh
10:39sometimes you got to take a risk unless you're an old person on an escalator yeah you just want to
10:44take the stairs huh okay how you doing thanks for asking yeah actually you know when you have
10:50these things swirling yeah i gotta she's waiting on me oh yeah yeah no no yeah yeah you gotta get
10:54back to watching old people all right pal all right see ya no problem okay if you get bored you
10:57can come
10:58over and watch i'm not gonna do that the key to disciplining soldiers isn't the yelling it's the
11:05silence between the yelling huh because i just do the opposite i just like i rant for like you know
11:10a solid block like six seven minutes and then i throw something oh what's your favorite thing to
11:14through like a chair you know like bobby knight style you know um it really gets their attention
11:19this is interesting though comparing notes i like this it's hard to be mean in a vacuum yeah who the
11:26hell is that what is it what what hey where's chanel martin who is it um it's a personal friend
11:38seeking guidance over i got my girlfriend pregnant and she's in love with her best friend and they're
11:43gonna raise a kid together i i got it hon listen i found blueprints of the base in general martin's
11:49office i also ate paint so what's the deal maybe maybe she was gonna get a train for me like
11:55as a
11:55gift or something these are the exact blueprints that gideon was tricked into stealing we never found
11:59out who was buying that maybe it was martin there's also plans for a remodel of the base
12:07yeah i think i know it's okay so what do we get what you're saying it's women tearing down women
12:12time isn't it did you guys learn nothing from that human resources video i had you watch with the
12:16animated bears because it was all about that kind of stuff so your girlfriend is not being straight
12:20with you you go on sex flight she is your girlfriend you know what look at the bright side you
12:25know two
12:26moms means less responsibility for you papadagas you know what we'll talk about it more tomorrow
12:30get out i was making that up i was making that up i've been listening
12:46okay wait wait we gotta talk no no we're talking no we're talking okay
12:56hey what do you think you think we should remodel with t-fac no i think it's fine
13:05yeah me too i mean the only way a remodel would make sense is if you were going to double
13:09the number
13:09of troops then you'd bash out the back wall you'd switch out the round tables for bench seating and
13:14expand the kitchen but that's just off the top of my head right how's the book
13:21that's good just getting to the uh section on pearl harbor politics aside you got to respect a
13:27surprise attack yeah you've got me in my office on a sunday you'd better be world war three i think
13:36if it was world war three sir you'd already be in your bunker is general martin taking over my base
13:41what no no no no no the u.s army is giving it away you're just giving bases away now
13:46what are you
13:46that's nuts no wonder you've never seen combat when the fighting starts i guess you just what surrender
13:50nato has made a massive weapons deal with the army and general martin wants a you know a training
13:56base in the region so since baumholder is a base of value i convinced our superiors to throw in
14:01strupdorf you know like free perfume with purchase you know your whole obsession with humiliating me is
14:08now reaching a really creepy fetishy area i'm not the one who invited your girlfriend to move
14:13in that you did on your own and now she is your boss oh see i wanted to capture that
14:23exact moment
14:24so that it'll pop up on my screensaver from time to time of course because you need something to
14:28replace the pictures of all the kids you never see anymore oh well look who's talking you know what
14:33sir i'm not gonna let you get away with this uh too late the wheels are already turning oh and
14:37if you
14:37try to block it you will be crushed oh see um your eyes were closed so let's try this again
14:43how does
14:44it feel to be the only american to lose a battle with canada oh see now that that's a keeper
14:52you
14:52know what sir i should give you a fair warning you might want to get that bunker ready i'm about
14:56to
14:56start world war three there it is yeah that that's what we were looking for yeah and i think i
15:06know why
15:06we found it you do because i took a job with general martin she called me and offered me a
15:15position as her
15:16permanent aid at nato which you know comes with a move but also comes with a promotion to major
15:25which is not in your chain of command and we can do this
15:34i didn't uh realize that when i uh submitted my retirement paperwork last night
15:41what yeah i i mean sometimes you gotta take a risk right i mean i mean this is crazy isn't
15:49it funny
15:49that we like gift of the magi at each other that is crazy we're so on the same page
15:59actually we're not we're not well no look i i accepted a new job like 30 minutes away uh-huh
16:07you quit your job you gave up your whole career 20 years of service for a girl you haven't even
16:14been on
16:14a date with uh you're welcome okay okay look i've failed at every relationship that i've ever been
16:27in right uh-huh and you well you literally just got a divorce probably should have talked about this
16:34first yeah we probably should have but i mean i've been thinking about it and i've been thinking about us
16:39a lot i actually see a future for us okay i see like the house the family wireless plan kids
16:45kids
16:46yeah would we talk about that or or would you surprise me with some i'm not gonna surprise you
16:50with kids that's not how that works okay i have to go i do i um i'm helping general martin
16:54prepper schedule okay as soon as i find my bra okay you don't need to do this okay you don't
16:58need to run away don't be like the colonel okay you don't need to avoid emotional conversations
17:01we can talk through this i am nothing like my dad don't do this don't just walk away let's talk
17:09about it what do you want to talk about huh how to fit my christmas tree up the chimney huh
17:12i'm sorry
17:13you found out this way i wasn't supposed to say anything till it was official oh really i've told
17:17you plenty of official secrets okay like the fact that we have a sound cannon that makes people
17:20projectile vomit and that was one of the most romantic dates of my whole life look you have worked so
17:25hard making this base a success enjoy the spoils nato taking over can just allow you to transfer to a
17:30better base you're right oh my god i didn't even think of it that way you're doing me a favor
17:34i
17:35should be thanking you i'm gonna send you some thank you flowers where should i have shah send them
17:38oh yeah right here because you live here now it's not personal oh it's very personal okay you trojan
17:43horse me with two of my favorite things sex and human cockfighting if you wanted to move in
17:47you should have just asked i'm not your enemy but i could be god you are already my enemy my
17:53god
17:54you know what i'm gonna give you a heads up i planted an alarm in here it's gonna go off
17:58very soon
17:59loud enough to drive you crazy but faint enough that when you look for it that you won't be able
18:04to locate where it actually is oh yeah that's gonna drive me nuts merry christmas grinch
18:13really this is all you got is the rosé i mean rosé is more about like quantity
18:17that's why it comes in a box i can't believe martin thought she was doing me a favor i can't
18:26believe
18:27does it sacrifice everything for our future like they're our saviors or something it's crazy
18:32behavior
18:36you don't think there's a chance that we are self-sabotaging quinn style so that we don't get
18:42hurt no no it's not us honey it's always them it's them it's them that's the way they want us
18:49to
18:49think i'm obviously not going to take the job with general martin after everything that's
18:53have you learned nothing from working with me career goes before family every time so you are
18:59taking that job okay number one you earned it number two you deserve it thanks dad plus it can't hurt
19:05to have a quinn on the inside find out what her next moves are going to be and then you
19:08know frame
19:09her for selling military secrets wait what you know see how you feel
19:18company attain our training exercise is on hold the paintball gear has been stolen don't worry i've
19:27been eating the evidence why don't you just throw it away the guns were in my office and only
19:31stroopstorf soldiers had access maybe it's a cat burglar situation interesting theory so what i'm going to
19:41ma'am the only thing i'm guilty of stealing is hearts i am in charge of this base now and
19:46i order
19:47everyone to be normal yes ma'am we will be normal normal
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