- 5 hours ago
Zombie Repellent [Full Movie] [Free Online HD]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:21so the plan was to sneak off and get married in Vegas the whole thing was
00:00:25ruined by zombies yeah freaking zombies thank you can you come in with me next
00:00:39time why because the dude in line behind me is hitting on me why do I always get
00:00:45hit on at gas stations honey you're irresistible there he is what who the
00:00:54hell is Jasmine Jasmine can't wait to see you again when are you going to invite
00:01:00me don't you don't need to keep reading that I can't wait to spend the whole
00:01:03weekend with you hey hey it's just a girl from work nobody from work sends me
00:01:08notes hmm good dude needs a better phone password I guess
00:01:28how much longer are we going to do this okay I get it back roads are the heart of America
00:01:35but how much corn do we need to see this this is the road less traveled right yeah we're gonna
00:01:41make
00:01:41it to Vegas on time but if we just took the main highway how memorable would that be
00:01:49after eight years of therapy this should be nothing but it's our wedding I love you
00:01:58don't I love you
00:02:20oh come on gravel this is gonna shave an hour of trip
00:02:30huh I want it
00:02:41we're getting married tomorrow yeah we are and we're cutting it pretty close
00:02:49you know this is gonna make a great story one day
00:02:59huh
00:02:59huh
00:03:00huh
00:03:02huh
00:03:03huh
00:03:06huh
00:03:10huh
00:03:17that's not good
00:03:21huh
00:03:25huh
00:03:26huh
00:03:26huh
00:03:27huh
00:03:31huh
00:03:44huh
00:03:45huh
00:03:52where are you going
00:03:58liz
00:04:02it's a minor delay
00:04:05baby you need to relax
00:04:08hey
00:04:16baby
00:04:19it's my job to make you happy
00:04:22right
00:04:24tell you what
00:04:26from this moment on
00:04:27for the rest of our lives
00:04:29whether it's this route or that route
00:04:31it's your call
00:04:35tell you what
00:04:36just to show you that I can change
00:04:39you get to decide where we eat
00:04:41for the whole trip
00:04:44yeah
00:04:45yeah good
00:04:49all right
00:04:54hey chad
00:04:55yeah
00:04:57where's the car
00:05:04huh
00:05:12babe
00:05:13I don't want to talk about it
00:05:17just got to look on the bright side
00:05:19right
00:05:20what is the bright side of my wedding dress
00:05:22being stolen
00:05:23I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding
00:05:26these things always have a way of working themselves out
00:05:29I don't want to talk about it
00:05:44you guys need a ride
00:05:46um no we're good our car was stolen around here not likely
00:05:59where'd you leave it um over by the uh gravel road down that way and it just vanished
00:06:13well just sitting around here buck probably came out and hitched it up hop in and i'll take
00:06:18you to it that's okay if you can just point us in the right direction we can walk
00:06:28you can walk please i'm gonna hop in the back and keep susie company
00:06:38well i mean why why can't i ride up front with you guys i need my elbow room
00:06:46in the back
00:06:57there's no handle hop over
00:07:24help yourself
00:07:25oh no thanks i'm trying to quit
00:07:29i know the struggle i've been trying to quit pretty ladies
00:07:38what are you doing way out here
00:07:40my fiance wanted to take the scenic route
00:07:43well plenty of that around here where are you heading
00:07:48vegas we're eloping
00:07:49what pretty gal like you you deserve a proper wedding like a fancy one with 400 pound pig
00:07:59roasting over an open pit and moonshine and a band with banjo and mandolin
00:08:07gotta have the banjo don't let me goodbye with anything less you don't want to go marry a guy who
00:08:15won't put you number one
00:08:18well actually the vegas thing was kind of my idea
00:08:27well ain't you an easy going sort of gal
00:08:34susie
00:08:36susie
00:09:04susie
00:09:08hey tell me a chick are you she's the best mechanic in the area
00:09:12sup clem breaking arts as usual you know it found these two up off of 51
00:09:21that's my car
00:09:23don't cream your jeans sweetheart it's a nissan
00:09:27we'll see you missy good luck
00:09:29thank you
00:09:34uh
00:09:35liz
00:09:43how much stuff is it
00:09:46and about my phone
00:09:47everything
00:09:48relax princess
00:09:51the sheriff has it
00:09:53why
00:09:54so nothing goes missing
00:09:57and it gives him a chance to go through all your stuff
00:10:00make sure you're not up to no good
00:10:03he can't do that
00:10:05i'll let you be the one to tell him that
00:10:08and you
00:10:08you degenerate
00:10:10your battery's dead as a doornail boss
00:10:13oh
00:10:14that it
00:10:15nope
00:10:18do you have a phone i can use
00:10:20inside
00:10:31devil hill switchboard how may i direct your call
00:10:34um
00:10:36i'm at the garage and
00:10:37tommy said i could use the phone
00:10:39no problem
00:10:40who would you like to be connected with
00:10:42new york the number is
00:10:44sorry honey
00:10:45the switchboard can only connect you with people in our town
00:10:50okay
00:10:51how do i call outside the town
00:10:53you can
00:10:54thank you for calling
00:11:09so now i'm not live within a hundred feet i've been querying
00:11:12how
00:11:12the phone only works for people in this town
00:11:15i could have told you that
00:11:17where's the sheriff's office
00:11:19go to the end of my building
00:11:21turn left
00:11:22look up
00:11:23you'll see it
00:11:25good
00:11:25i'll use my own phone
00:11:27not in this town
00:11:30why not
00:11:31the council has a no tech policy
00:11:35no cell phones computers
00:11:37it's a bit extreme
00:11:40it's the way we like it
00:11:44can you fix the car
00:11:45easy
00:11:46good
00:11:47should be ready by tomorrow afternoon
00:11:51we can't stay here
00:11:53that's true
00:11:54no motels
00:11:58huh
00:12:00you could try mrs powell's
00:12:03up on first and devil's hill
00:12:05she takes in
00:12:08strays once in a while
00:12:16she gets along with that sometimes
00:12:19we ready in the morning
00:12:21late afternoon
00:12:23okay
00:12:26thanks
00:12:33babe
00:12:35where are you going
00:12:37going to get my phone
00:12:38my dress
00:12:39and go home
00:12:42don't you think you're overreacting
00:12:47just
00:12:47just
00:12:47like a little bit
00:12:49i'm not
00:12:51overreacting
00:12:52the whole point of this trip
00:12:54was so that we didn't have to deal with the stress of a big wedding
00:12:57and this has been nothing but stressful
00:13:00yeah
00:13:02yeah
00:13:03yeah
00:13:04yeah
00:13:08yeah
00:13:09what is it
00:13:12yeah
00:13:18be back tomorrow at 9am
00:13:20huh
00:13:22yeah
00:13:25yeah
00:13:26yeah
00:13:26yeah
00:13:26alan weber
00:13:28fix this
00:13:36babe
00:13:38babe
00:13:52seems nice
00:13:58right
00:14:15we've been expecting you
00:14:18oh they must have called you and told you about our car
00:14:21yeah
00:14:22tommy said
00:14:25i will allow you to stay one night
00:14:27providing you follow the house rules
00:14:32sure
00:14:34enter
00:14:50it's a drafty house
00:14:52if you're not married
00:14:55you'll stay in separate rooms
00:14:56oh
00:14:57we're actually engaged
00:15:00separate rooms
00:15:03that's fine
00:15:05dinner will be served at 7pm sharp
00:15:08lights out at 10pm
00:15:11and i need your rooms returned like you found them at 9am
00:15:17how much do we owe you
00:15:18i will not accept money for my hospitality
00:15:23it's really no big deal
00:15:24no
00:15:25no
00:15:27my daughter ellie may will show you to your rooms
00:15:38i need your toilet
00:15:39tell me
00:15:42hi
00:15:43i'm ellie may
00:15:44you can call me ellie
00:15:46hi ellie
00:15:48what
00:15:50i'm liz and this is my
00:15:52fiance
00:15:53chad
00:15:54we don't get many visitors around here
00:15:57at least
00:15:58none this day very long
00:16:02come on up
00:16:10what
00:16:16in there
00:16:17no hun
00:16:18you're in there
00:16:20there's towels on the bed if you want to freshen up
00:16:23thanks
00:16:26you'll be in there
00:16:29and in case you're wondering
00:16:31my rooms are right above yours
00:16:34see you at dinner
00:16:43what
00:16:46if you want to
00:17:32Would you like to give thanks before we eat?
00:17:37No, thanks. Go ahead.
00:17:43I think Chavs would love to, wouldn't you?
00:17:49Oh, okay.
00:17:55Oh my god! Please bless this meal.
00:18:02And give us the strength to say no to the devil.
00:18:11And please stop Satan from corrupting our minds.
00:18:18Let us all ask what would Jesus do if he was here at this table with us.
00:18:24Just let us all make good choices and get home safe.
00:18:29Oh man!
00:18:45Squirrels in the basement.
00:18:47Squirrels.
00:18:51Please help yourself.
00:18:55Oh, um, that looks really delicious.
00:19:01But I'm actually a vegetarian.
00:19:05How disappointing.
00:19:07More for us.
00:19:15Please.
00:19:19Please.
00:19:28Why'd you keep pajamas?
00:19:30They were just in my bed.
00:19:33Why'd you keep pajamas?
00:19:37I think we should leave.
00:19:40What?
00:19:42I think we should leave.
00:19:45I can't understand you.
00:19:47Go down.
00:19:48Go down.
00:19:50What?
00:19:51I think we should leave.
00:19:55Go where?
00:19:58Baby, I know it's creepy, but let's just spend the night here.
00:20:02And first thing in the morning we'll leave.
00:20:06But something's not right here.
00:20:09Nothing's right here.
00:20:12Look, I'm one door down, okay?
00:20:18Nothing's gonna happen.
00:20:20You trust me, right?
00:20:24You trust me.
00:20:26Come out, baby.
00:20:27Stop it.
00:20:28Okay.
00:20:29I trust you will honor the house rules until tomorrow.
00:20:35Yes, ma'am.
00:20:36Yeah, I mean...
00:20:38Oh, I wasn't trying to sneak around to have sex or anything.
00:20:43We've had plenty of sex.
00:20:46Inside, outside, we've done it.
00:20:49In a plane, but we got caught.
00:20:52And so I just wouldn't even try that here.
00:20:55I mean, she's pretty tired of all the sexing from earlier.
00:21:01So I think we're just gonna be doing some sleeping, right?
00:21:04Yeah, so no sexing, just sleeping.
00:21:08If anything, I'll be flying solo tonight.
00:21:10Stop talking.
00:21:11I'm gonna stop talking now.
00:21:13Good night.
00:21:18Good night.
00:21:21Good night.
00:21:22I don't know.
00:21:52I don't know.
00:22:32I don't know.
00:23:00I don't know.
00:23:30I don't know.
00:23:34I don't know.
00:23:34I don't know.
00:23:35I don't know.
00:23:50I don't know.
00:23:58I don't know.
00:24:10I don't know.
00:24:17I don't know.
00:24:29I don't know.
00:24:47I don't know.
00:24:56I don't know.
00:25:05I don't know.
00:25:08I don't know.
00:25:13I don't know.
00:25:16I don't know.
00:25:39I don't know.
00:25:40Great.
00:25:41I'll get my fiancé.
00:25:44You know, on second thought, I don't have a lot of time.
00:25:47Why don't you come to the station tomorrow and I'll give them to you.
00:25:49Around four o'clock.
00:25:51But the sign on your door said you'd be in early.
00:25:54I was, but I got crazy Carl in the back seat, and I got to get him to the county
00:25:58jail tonight.
00:26:05Can I go like this?
00:26:07Oh, sure. It'll only take about 15 minutes.
00:26:11Okay.
00:26:14Let's go.
00:26:22Ellie.
00:26:31Ellie Mae.
00:26:40You sure are jumpy.
00:26:43What's the plan?
00:26:44We'll walk into town and ask if anybody's seen her.
00:26:48Walk?
00:26:49I don't drive.
00:26:52None of the townspeople seem to like me.
00:26:55They don't like any strangers.
00:26:57But you're with me. Nothing's gonna happen.
00:27:03That's crazy Carl.
00:27:07Hi.
00:27:08Pleasure to meet you.
00:27:10Carl makes the best moonshine in the whole state.
00:27:14Is it legal to make moonshine here?
00:27:18Nope.
00:27:19Hell no.
00:27:21Oh.
00:27:22Is that why you're going to jail?
00:27:24Well, Carl made the mistake of sleeping with the mayor's wife.
00:27:28No crime in that.
00:27:30But when the judge found out that he was sleeping with his wife, too, he threw the book at him.
00:27:36Literally.
00:27:37Almost took out my eye.
00:27:39Well, that's what you get for sleeping around, Carl.
00:27:43Maybe try getting a girlfriend?
00:27:47Old Carl's not the boyfriend type.
00:27:55You like fried pickles?
00:27:57Um, I don't know if I've ever had fried pickles.
00:28:01Shut up.
00:28:02Ow.
00:28:02Vinegar pie?
00:28:04No.
00:28:04Chitlins?
00:28:05Goat stew?
00:28:07Slug burger?
00:28:10I think you're making things up, man.
00:28:12Thank you for Mars.
00:28:16So, how'd you meet your girlfriend?
00:28:19I was visiting Los Angeles looking at post-grad schools, and he was assigned to give me the campus tour.
00:28:26Love at first sight.
00:28:29Hardly.
00:28:29He was unfocused and completely scatterbrained.
00:28:34He didn't say one thing that was substantial.
00:28:38And then, at the end of the day, he looks at me and says,
00:28:40Liz, you're very wound up, and you're too serious.
00:28:47He did not.
00:28:49The nerve.
00:28:50Oh, and then he asked me if I wanted to go watch the sunset with him.
00:28:55The nerve?
00:28:56How presumptuous.
00:28:58Right?
00:28:59A little bit of that Chad swagger.
00:29:02She finally agreed.
00:29:04You charm her.
00:29:06Well, Liz is like this little tightly wound ball of perfection.
00:29:11But, uh, all of her best qualities are sort of her little imperfections.
00:29:16Aw.
00:29:17And you're a romantic.
00:29:19He's a romantic?
00:29:21You know what he got me for our first anniversary?
00:29:24A spa package with Senate oils included?
00:29:27A diamond ring.
00:29:29Tennis shoes and a t-shirt.
00:29:31I didn't know neither.
00:29:38Liz, I'm gonna run in and grab your stuff.
00:29:41Carol, you being nice?
00:29:43She's spoken for?
00:29:53Liz.
00:29:55You're a lucky girl.
00:29:58Thanks, Carl.
00:30:02Any chance you can help me get out of these cuffs?
00:30:06The keys are on the keychain.
00:30:11That's not gonna happen.
00:30:22Hi, Sarah.
00:30:23Can I get three grave makers?
00:30:24You got it, Ellie.
00:30:36Huh.
00:30:40What's taking so long?
00:30:43Maybe you had to drop a deuce.
00:30:53Oh, shit!
00:30:54They got him!
00:30:58Liz, don't leave me!
00:31:01Please!
00:31:10Run!
00:31:12Move it!
00:31:22Thanks, Sarah.
00:31:27You like dancing?
00:31:29We love dancing.
00:31:31Every Thursday, they clear out the tables, and it's a big dance floor.
00:31:34With a disco ball.
00:31:39Disco ball?
00:31:46Drink up, city boy.
00:31:49I'm trying to find Liz.
00:31:52Mm.
00:31:52That's right.
00:31:54Liz disappeared.
00:31:56That girl is wound so tight, it might have imploded.
00:32:02Look, you guys don't know Liz like I do.
00:32:06He's a romantic.
00:32:08Have you seen her?
00:32:10I love this song.
00:32:12Let's sing it.
00:32:14Now?
00:32:15She was asking me.
00:32:30Hi.
00:32:32You shouldn't be here.
00:32:34It's not safe.
00:32:37This whole place is cursed.
00:32:41What?
00:32:41Get out while you can.
00:32:44They'll come for you.
00:32:46They'll come...
00:32:48for you.
00:32:51Who?
00:32:57What is this?
00:33:03Is that a secret?
00:33:11Dude, what are you on?
00:33:13Come on, Larry.
00:33:13Let's not scare the customers.
00:33:15I don't...
00:33:24Don't listen to him.
00:33:25He wears aluminum foil over his underwear.
00:33:28What?
00:33:29He said a UFO took him when he was little,
00:33:31and when they brought him back, he was clairvoyant.
00:33:33But I don't know why clairvoyant would come here every night and get drunk.
00:33:40I need to find Liz.
00:33:46Hold up.
00:33:47Hold up.
00:33:50Okay.
00:33:51I can't believe they got the sheriff.
00:33:54What the hell is going on?
00:33:55They got him.
00:33:57They got him.
00:33:58Who?
00:33:59Zombies are fucking zombies, Liz.
00:34:04No.
00:34:06No, maybe he just got burned.
00:34:08This is bad.
00:34:11If there's one, there's more.
00:34:12They'll be coming for us.
00:34:15Zombies aren't real.
00:34:17Why?
00:34:18Because you never saw one.
00:34:20Let's help me get out of these cuffs.
00:34:22How?
00:34:23Come here.
00:34:23Come here.
00:34:27Spit on my arm and my wrists.
00:34:32Ew, no.
00:34:34We don't have time.
00:34:35Liz, spit.
00:34:37Lubrication.
00:34:38I can't protect you with these on.
00:34:41Spit.
00:34:42Okay.
00:34:43Oh, God.
00:34:46No.
00:34:48What?
00:34:49Nothing.
00:34:50I got a gang reflex to spit.
00:34:52Just keep on.
00:34:53Go, go, go, go.
00:35:02Again.
00:35:06A few more.
00:35:14Almost there.
00:35:24It's so gross.
00:35:30Run!
00:35:34It'd be cute if they had those little umbrellas for the drinks.
00:35:37You think?
00:35:40Okay, look.
00:35:41This has been a really good time.
00:35:46I need to find my fiance.
00:35:50I haven't seen her.
00:35:51If she left the house and just started walking, she could be anywhere.
00:35:55Did you check down by the river?
00:35:57That's a great idea.
00:35:59I didn't think of that.
00:36:01What's down by the river?
00:36:02The river, silly.
00:36:05Okay, well, why would someone go down to the river?
00:36:08It's the closest lit up thing to the house.
00:36:10Looks like you're walking towards something.
00:36:12But when you get there, it's just a bunch of big empty buildings and lots.
00:36:16Okay, so let's go.
00:36:19Bye, cutie.
00:36:23My car's gonna be ready tomorrow, right?
00:36:25Might be ready sooner than I thought.
00:36:27Yeah.
00:36:33Will you please tell me what's going on?
00:36:35I've got a plan.
00:36:37We'll wait for the barge.
00:36:39We'll swim out.
00:36:41And we'll ride it down a few hundred miles.
00:36:44What?
00:36:45No!
00:36:46I need to find Chad.
00:36:47And what happened to the sheriff?
00:36:50I told you he's a zombie.
00:36:51There must have been one hiding in the police station.
00:36:55Everyone in this town is crazy.
00:36:58I don't think that's a very fair statement.
00:37:01You've only met a few of us.
00:37:03I'm being unfair?
00:37:06No, you're right.
00:37:09Just hard to hear sometimes.
00:37:12Look, either you tell me what's going on, or I'm out of here.
00:37:15Where are you going to go?
00:37:17Down there.
00:37:19Not a great idea.
00:37:21Okay, well, down towards those towers.
00:37:25Good luck with that.
00:37:26They'll find you down there.
00:37:28Home!
00:37:31Can I ask you a question?
00:37:32Sure.
00:37:33You're my new best friend.
00:37:36Okay.
00:37:37Um, why no cell phones and Wi-Fi and normal stuff?
00:37:42Just how it's always been.
00:37:43It's our normal.
00:37:46Have you ever left this place?
00:37:48Sure I have.
00:37:50There's a big carnival I go to every year out on Highway 67.
00:37:53They got a big old gator.
00:37:55And this man, he always puts his head in the gator's mouth.
00:37:57But then I heard that the gator bit his head and squished it like a melon.
00:38:01It's really sad, because that was my favorite part.
00:38:05Not the head-squishing part, but...
00:38:12Is that the prize you've got?
00:38:15Who wants to travel when you live in paradise?
00:38:17That's what Mama always says.
00:38:20I shouldn't be telling you this.
00:38:23You have to promise not to say anything to anyone ever.
00:38:29Who am I going to tell?
00:38:31Yeah, you're right.
00:38:33They started mining back in 1850.
00:38:37All up and down the river.
00:38:39The town was booming and money was flowing.
00:38:42And then people got greedy.
00:38:45In 1906, one mining group, they hit a very toxic substance that was oozing out of the rock.
00:38:53And almost instantly, the miners started dying.
00:38:57At least that's what they thought.
00:39:00The boss saw something happen to the miners and instantly made a split decision to blow the only exit out.
00:39:10With the miners still inside?
00:39:12When they told the public that the miners were killed, the town was angry.
00:39:18And they were also scared about what was oozing out of the rock.
00:39:24Can you just tell me what happened to the sheriff?
00:39:26You young people are so impatient.
00:39:29I'm getting to it.
00:39:30Okay.
00:39:31Sorry.
00:39:33What nobody knew was they didn't die.
00:39:36And they would never die.
00:39:39They became the undead.
00:39:42And no one would have ever known.
00:39:46But in 1972, a rich developer from New York came here.
00:39:50And he wanted to build a gambling resort right here on the river.
00:39:53They went into the mine?
00:39:55When they broke through, several construction workers were attacked by the undead.
00:40:02How come no one knows about this?
00:40:04The developer had the mine sealed and demolished so that work had been done and left.
00:40:11And the town, they acted like it never happened.
00:40:16So if the mine was patched up, then how did the sheriff turn?
00:40:23Every now and then, a few will find their way out.
00:40:27And you just live like this?
00:40:29Like it's normal?
00:40:31It is normal.
00:40:32To us.
00:40:36Look, you can't pretend like you weren't waiting for me naked.
00:40:41I wasn't waiting for you.
00:40:46You talking about Liz?
00:40:51You're a lesbian.
00:40:52Whoa, easy with the labels, cowboy.
00:40:55I like boys, I just prefer kissing girls.
00:40:58Okay.
00:40:59It's like hot dogs and ice cream.
00:41:03What?
00:41:05Okay, like kissing a girl is like ice cream.
00:41:07It's soft and sweet, and each pair of lips is like a different flavor of creamy awesomeness.
00:41:12But sometimes, you just feel like a hot dog.
00:41:18Excuse me.
00:41:23And I wasn't flirting with you at dinner.
00:41:26I was amusing myself.
00:41:27Big difference.
00:41:31Big difference.
00:41:37Wait!
00:41:43Okay.
00:41:44I need you to do me a favor.
00:41:46You see that rope hanging down?
00:41:49Yeah.
00:41:50Yep.
00:41:51All right.
00:41:51I need you to stand on my shoulders, reach it, and pull it down.
00:41:55What is it?
00:41:56Emergency supplies.
00:41:58For a nightlight tonight.
00:42:00You ready?
00:42:02I guess.
00:42:03Okay.
00:42:04All right.
00:42:06Ready?
00:42:07Okay, I'm ready.
00:42:08You go.
00:42:09How?
00:42:09Just throw a leg over.
00:42:12Yep, watch the...
00:42:13Okay.
00:42:13Yep, go.
00:42:14I don't know.
00:42:15You can do it.
00:42:16I can't.
00:42:17Oh, God.
00:42:18Come on, you got it.
00:42:18You got it.
00:42:19I don't.
00:42:19I don't got it.
00:42:20I can't.
00:42:21I don't.
00:42:21Liz.
00:42:22Okay.
00:42:26Here, I got something.
00:42:36All right, if you stand on that, then climb on my shoulders, then reach the rope, and then
00:42:40pull it down.
00:42:41You got it?
00:42:42All right, here we go.
00:42:44All right, get on.
00:42:46Ready?
00:42:47You know...
00:42:49Ready?
00:42:49Yep.
00:42:50If you stand on it, you can just reach it.
00:42:58Oh, okay.
00:43:01All right.
00:43:03Spot me.
00:43:05Go.
00:43:10Oh, yeah.
00:43:12Okay.
00:43:14What do we got?
00:43:16What's in there?
00:43:18Well...
00:43:20Zombie repellent.
00:43:22Never leave home without it.
00:43:25You did.
00:43:27I was in handcuffs.
00:43:29All right, what else we got in here?
00:43:32Oh, yes.
00:43:35Moonshine.
00:43:37And how's that going to help?
00:43:39Have you ever had moonshine?
00:43:41No, I'm not a good drinker.
00:43:44A little bit of this, and all your troubles melt away.
00:43:49All right.
00:43:50What else we got in here?
00:43:56I thought I had more, but...
00:43:59I guess that's it.
00:44:01Great.
00:44:04Look, there's just no such thing as zombies.
00:44:07If you don't believe what you saw with your own lying eyes, I don't know what to tell you.
00:44:12All right.
00:44:13So, hypothetical.
00:44:15Let's say there are zombies.
00:44:17How many are there?
00:44:19Could be hundreds.
00:44:20They escape from the mines every now and then.
00:44:28She's not here.
00:44:30Maybe she hitched a ride out of town.
00:44:33No.
00:44:35Liz wouldn't just leave me here.
00:44:39Maybe.
00:44:40You don't know her as well as you think you do.
00:44:42I know everything about Liz.
00:44:45Okay.
00:44:47Any man that says they know everything about a girlfriend probably doesn't.
00:44:52How do you know?
00:44:54Because men are on a need-to-know basis.
00:44:58Well, that may be you, but that's not everybody.
00:45:02Everybody.
00:45:04When you find her, ask.
00:45:06I will.
00:45:07But don't go asking questions you don't want to know the answer to.
00:45:11All right.
00:45:12You don't want me to ask.
00:45:13That's what it is.
00:45:15You've been warned.
00:45:17All right.
00:45:18Well, prepare to be wronged-ed.
00:45:23What?
00:45:24No reply to that?
00:45:25Ellie, may?
00:45:27I know where she might be.
00:45:29Where?
00:45:29Come on.
00:45:34So, what's the plan?
00:45:35We're just going to wait here?
00:45:37I am.
00:45:39There's two places we go when zombies are on the loose.
00:45:42The river, because zombies don't like water.
00:45:45And the old church.
00:45:47Because zombies don't like church?
00:45:50Hmm.
00:45:51They don't like our church.
00:45:53I have to get back to the house.
00:45:56I'm not leaving with sunrises.
00:45:58We don't know how many have escaped.
00:46:01So, we're just going to wait here?
00:46:03Listen, sweet pea.
00:46:04I've been running from zombies before you were born.
00:46:07If there's one thing I know is that...
00:46:12Oh, my God.
00:46:15Oh, my God.
00:46:22Oh, my God.
00:46:23Oh, my God.
00:46:41Die, zombie bitch.
00:46:46Looks like I got here just in time.
00:46:52Is that Carl?
00:46:56Maybe I could have got here a little sooner.
00:47:01Come on, your boyfriend's looking for you.
00:47:05So this stuff really works?
00:47:07Not for you.
00:47:09It was empty.
00:47:13Chad's gonna flip when he finds out what I was doing tonight.
00:47:17He's searching for you right now.
00:47:21He knows I'm gone?
00:47:23He's been out with Ellie Mae all night looking for you.
00:47:27Oh.
00:47:30I know that look.
00:47:33Ellie Mae's not a threat.
00:47:39She's pretty and I'm sure a lot of fun.
00:47:42That's true.
00:47:44But Chad's not her type.
00:47:50He doesn't seem like your type either.
00:47:54Everybody says that, but...
00:47:57We just work together.
00:47:59Like yin and yang.
00:48:02I bet he fills all your holes.
00:48:06What?
00:48:07Oh, not like that.
00:48:09It's a saying.
00:48:11You know, if someone fills your shortcomings and you fill theirs, you make each other better.
00:48:21He fills my holes.
00:48:26You didn't say where we're going.
00:48:30How'd you know Liz was the one you wanted to marry?
00:48:34I had this boyfriend once I was so in love with.
00:48:38I knew he was the one I was gonna marry and have seven babies with.
00:48:41Seven?
00:48:42I mean, my Aunt Susie had eight and it ruined her body, so seven's my living.
00:48:48Anyway, every night he would drop me off and I would run upstairs and start planning our wedding.
00:48:54Every detail of it.
00:48:56My dress, the guest list, we were gonna go on our honeymoon.
00:49:01It would've been perfect.
00:49:04What happened?
00:49:06He was walking home drunk one night on the tracks and got hit by a train.
00:49:12That's horrible.
00:49:13I thought so too.
00:49:15At first.
00:49:16And then I found out he was walking home from having sex with Jessica Penner.
00:49:21Well, he got what he deserved.
00:49:23Zombie deer, right?
00:49:25Turn it around! Turn it around!
00:49:29Took you long enough.
00:49:33We're going to church.
00:49:35What?
00:49:36You asked where we're going. Come on.
00:49:45Jesus.
00:49:49You religious?
00:50:00What's in the bag?
00:50:02Oh, it's Carl's emergency supplies.
00:50:05It's an empty can of zombie repellent and some of his moonshine.
00:50:11Really?
00:50:13Carl wasn't good for much but sleeping with other people's wives and making killer moonshine.
00:50:25Woo!
00:50:27That's what I'm talking about!
00:50:31Go on.
00:50:34It'll put some hair on your chest.
00:50:43It'll put some hair on your chest.
00:50:45UGH!
00:50:46Oh, wow.
00:50:52Oh, oh one more
00:50:58I'm gonna regret this moonshine regrets a whole different kind of regret. That's why we keep drinking it
00:51:11Oh
00:51:18Whoa, I may have underestimated you princess
00:51:28Be real shame the zombie showed up right now ah
00:51:34Try to pee in peace
00:51:38So what do you do for money?
00:51:42My opening a restaurant. Oh, we have one of those here. It's called the country kitchen
00:51:48It was called Jim's country kitchen, but then Jim murdered somebody and went to jail. So they took his name
00:51:55out
00:51:57Mine's a tiki bar
00:52:00What's that? It's like a Hawaiian Polynesian themed bar
00:52:04Good music and fun decorations. This is classic escapism. It sounds fun
00:52:11Yeah
00:52:13Liz isn't too thrilled about it though, but
00:52:16She doesn't drink much. I never used to be a big drinker either, and then I started doing a lot
00:52:22now. I really like it
00:52:25You know Liz she uh takes more than one sip and she gets really emotional
00:52:31Then she throws up
00:52:36I can't I don't know if I can marry Chad
00:52:42He's so wonderful
00:52:45That's a good thing
00:52:46That's a good thing
00:52:47Right?
00:52:48No
00:52:50That's not good
00:52:53It's great
00:52:55Then what's the problem
00:52:59My friends they
00:53:07They don't like him
00:53:10I think they like him better
00:53:14What makes you think that?
00:53:16They told me
00:53:19That doesn't mean
00:53:20That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you
00:53:26It doesn't
00:53:26You and me
00:53:29We're the serious types
00:53:31But we get shit done
00:53:36But no one ever says thank you
00:53:44You got that right
00:53:52More zombies
00:53:53I got it
00:54:13Don't get too cocky
00:54:14That's when they'll get you
00:54:18You know
00:54:21You're great and everything
00:54:22But the fact that you don't have
00:54:24Social media like a Facebook or Instagram
00:54:28I just don't think we're ever going to see each other again
00:54:30You know
00:54:32But uh
00:54:34I really hope you find your Liz
00:54:36You know
00:54:38But I didn't lose a Liz
00:54:41Yeah
00:54:42I meant more of like a
00:54:45Significant other
00:54:46Kind of thing
00:54:47You know
00:54:49I hope I do too
00:54:50Do you?
00:54:53Hear that?
00:55:07Liz
00:55:08You need to get over here big guy
00:55:11Tell him
00:55:25Are you okay?
00:55:27I'm scared
00:55:30This is zombies
00:55:32I saw them too
00:55:34No
00:55:34I'm scared about getting married
00:55:38I'm scared about having kids
00:55:40And
00:55:41And buying a house
00:55:43And
00:55:44In the right school zone
00:55:45And
00:55:47And then what if we don't work
00:55:49And we have to worry about custody
00:55:51And then
00:55:52In retirement
00:55:54Do you know how much it costs to retire?
00:55:58In college?
00:55:59Oh
00:56:00Shit
00:56:01We should probably just have one kid
00:56:03Because that costs so much
00:56:04And I want to be supportive of your Tiki bar
00:56:08But
00:56:09Do you know how many bar restaurants go under?
00:56:14It's staggering
00:56:18Honey, I'm scared about all those things too
00:56:21Really?
00:56:23Yeah
00:56:26Well, why aren't you freaking out?
00:56:28Why didn't you say anything?
00:56:31Because
00:56:32We'll have each other
00:56:35I know that together we can do anything
00:56:52Honey, were you throwing up?
00:57:05My dress
00:57:12Oh
00:57:13Oh, thank God
00:57:19Liz!
00:57:57No!
00:58:03Oh no.
00:58:07Why?
00:58:18I'm sorry, Liz.
00:58:21You'll find another, even better wedding dress.
00:58:26Oh no. Did you lose your ring?
00:58:32I'll find it.
00:58:34Wait.
00:58:37It's at Mrs. Powell's house.
00:58:41Are you sure?
00:58:43It's on the side table.
00:58:48So, what do you want to do?
00:58:51We're gonna go get it.
00:58:54Okay.
00:58:55Bye!
00:58:55Bye!
00:58:55Bye!
00:59:04Bye!
00:59:07Bye!
00:59:17Bye!
00:59:33It's not here.
00:59:36It's not here.
00:59:41What do you mean it's not there?
00:59:42when I take a shower.
00:59:47Okay, uh...
00:59:48Let's read just your steps.
00:59:49What's the last thing you remember?
00:59:51I heard Mrs. Powell outside.
00:59:54I think she was dragging a body
00:59:56and cutting it up in the basement.
00:59:58A body?
00:59:59Why would you be cutting up a body?
01:00:02Oh, fuck.
01:00:04You broke the house rules.
01:00:07I said lights out at nine.
01:00:13I think you actually said ten.
01:00:23You shouldn't have come back for your ring.
01:00:25I was getting worried
01:00:27that my little Jimmy wouldn't have enough to eat this week.
01:00:31But God brought you back to us.
01:00:34I fed him a few hours ago.
01:00:36But you already know that.
01:00:39Jimmy was my youngest
01:00:40and was turned when he was only 17.
01:00:43The sheriff found him
01:00:44and brought him back to me.
01:00:46It may be a few hours.
01:00:48But when he's hungry,
01:00:50he'll come for you.
01:00:54One more thing.
01:00:58In my basement,
01:01:00no one can hear you scream.
01:01:27You know,
01:01:28if I'm gonna die,
01:01:31there's no one
01:01:31I'd rather die with
01:01:32than you.
01:01:34Aw.
01:01:40Jack, please do something.
01:01:42I can't do anything.
01:01:43These are...
01:01:47I have an idea.
01:01:48What?
01:01:48It's gross.
01:01:50We have to spit on them.
01:01:53Okay.
01:01:54All right.
01:01:58I know.
01:01:59I know.
01:02:00I know.
01:02:01I know.
01:02:04I know.
01:02:11But the second one,
01:02:14I know.
01:02:14I know.
01:02:14I know.
01:02:17I know.
01:02:44Not again.
01:02:54It's empty.
01:03:04What?
01:03:08Zombies are crippled by hairspray?
01:03:14Liz, I think we're being played.
01:03:18Why?
01:03:20For their own personal amusement.
01:03:23Why would anyone do that?
01:03:27I don't know, but we're gonna find out.
01:03:44Hey!
01:03:47Can I help you?
01:03:48I want to talk with Tommy.
01:03:50Who?
01:03:51Tommy, the girl who works here?
01:03:54I'm the only one who works here.
01:03:56Well, she was working here yesterday.
01:03:59You must be thinking of someplace else.
01:04:09Hey.
01:04:10Hey.
01:04:12You.
01:04:20What the hell?
01:04:26My sail.
01:04:29Wow.
01:04:30A little nice building.
01:04:32Give me the keys.
01:04:34Ow.
01:04:37Where are you going?
01:04:38Going to get some answers.
01:04:40Come on.
01:04:41Oh.
01:04:44How do you walk so fast?
01:04:50How do you walk so fast?
01:04:52Please.
01:04:53We can just walk into the house.
01:04:55Why?
01:04:55What's gonna happen?
01:04:56I'm gonna be arrested by a sheriff that doesn't exist?
01:05:00Wait.
01:05:01Wait.
01:05:01Wait.
01:05:02Wait.
01:05:02Why?
01:05:03Okay.
01:05:04All I'm saying is that we should just be polite and just ask someone to happen.
01:05:11Are you insane?
01:05:17Liz.
01:05:19Why are you so mad?
01:05:26What day is it?
01:05:30Sunday.
01:05:33And what time?
01:05:3810.37.
01:05:42And that doesn't mean anything to you?
01:05:47Are you hungry?
01:05:51I don't know.
01:05:53That's the problem.
01:05:54We missed our own wedding.
01:06:01But Liz.
01:06:03It's just the two of us.
01:06:05We can get married anytime we want.
01:06:08That's not the point.
01:06:10You didn't even remember.
01:06:18I mean, to be fair, there were zombies.
01:06:25I just want to go home.
01:06:40What the fuck?
01:06:41When we were down by the river and you were being eaten by the zombie and I saved her, she
01:06:46was on the ground like, yeah, that's Carl.
01:06:49Are they making fun of us?
01:06:50And I'm chewing the tobacco and I see her eye on a moment.
01:06:53I said, help yourself.
01:07:07Oh.
01:07:08Hi.
01:07:11Huh.
01:07:13You people are horrible.
01:07:16Is this your idea of fun?
01:07:19Scaring people for sport?
01:07:24Chad, do something.
01:07:26What do you want me to do?
01:07:30Liz.
01:07:36I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your experience, but this is what you pay for.
01:07:46Liz.
01:07:48I don't know why you're so upset.
01:07:50I thought we did a really good job.
01:07:53You're all crazy!
01:08:00I know the site says no refunds, but if you're this unhappy, I'll go talk to everyone and
01:08:06see what we can do.
01:08:10What the fuck are you talking about?
01:08:14Charles and Elsie, Extreme Zombie Experience.
01:08:16Booked and paid three months ago.
01:08:19That's not even the same names.
01:08:21You're not that far off.
01:08:24Well, if you aren't Charles and Elsie, where are they?
01:08:29Hey, it's just a girl from work.
01:08:32Nobody from work sends me nudes!
01:08:34This has never happened before.
01:08:37Do you even work at the garage?
01:08:38What happened to all your tattoos?
01:08:41No.
01:08:42They were fake.
01:08:44My real name is Mary Elizabeth.
01:08:47I own the bakery on Main Street.
01:08:50Thomas is the morning radio guy over at WGLC.
01:08:54All country, all day.
01:08:56100.1 WGLC.
01:09:00Richard is the city attorney.
01:09:03Liz is a lovely girl, by the way.
01:09:06Mrs. Powell is actually Mrs. Powell.
01:09:09I can never remember my fake name.
01:09:11And Barry was the sheriff.
01:09:13He owns the sawmill down by the river.
01:09:16Liz speaks very highly of you.
01:09:19So you're all just actors?
01:09:22Yeah.
01:09:27Okay.
01:09:29Where are you going?
01:09:34We missed our wedding this morning.
01:09:37And it's all my fault.
01:09:38It doesn't even matter because it's too late.
01:09:43So thanks.
01:09:45Hold on there, son.
01:09:47It's never too late.
01:09:49This little hiccup shouldn't stop you from getting married.
01:09:53Look, I think things are a bit beyond repair at this point.
01:09:57You guys don't understand.
01:09:58Liz is perfect.
01:09:59Right?
01:10:00She's smart.
01:10:01She's funny.
01:10:01She bought a bass guitar.
01:10:03She doesn't play bass, but she's going to learn.
01:10:06She writes handwritten birthday cards for people on their birthdays.
01:10:11Who does that?
01:10:13That's a really nice thing to do.
01:10:15I don't know.
01:10:17Liz was my one in a million.
01:10:20Right?
01:10:21And I blew it.
01:10:23I have never seen her look at me the way that she did this morning.
01:10:27I disappointed her in literally the worst way possible.
01:10:33Chadwick Allen Webber.
01:10:37There's no one on the planet I would rather marry than you.
01:10:43This girl loves you a lot.
01:10:48You find the good in everyone, in every situation.
01:10:52I bet you're even starting to like these people.
01:10:56Yeah.
01:10:58You know that Clem has his own radio show?
01:11:00What'd you do then?
01:11:01100.1.
01:11:02All country.
01:11:04All day.
01:11:05Yeah.
01:11:08You're going to make a great husband.
01:11:10An amazing father.
01:11:13I'd marry you anytime, anywhere.
01:11:17Because there's nothing we can't do together.
01:11:19Right?
01:11:20You know, if you guys still want to get married today,
01:11:23we can make that happen, right?
01:11:27My dress got ruined.
01:11:31Gus went a little overboard out of the old church.
01:11:34We can find you a dress.
01:11:38Really?
01:11:40I suggest you get up there and give her a kiss before she changes her mind.
01:11:49Looks like we got some work to do here.
01:12:18You may be seated.
01:12:24Howdy, folks.
01:12:26Howdy, Dan.
01:12:27We're here today to marry Elizabeth Marie Gamble and Chadwick Allen Weber.
01:12:35Although new to our town, an unfortunate misunderstanding has led to a shotgun wedding.
01:12:41Unlike others we've had.
01:12:43No offense, Sarah and Mike.
01:12:46We're going to keep this short so we can get to the food.
01:12:49Chad, do you take Elizabeth to be your wife?
01:12:53I do.
01:12:55And Elizabeth, do you take Chad to be your husband?
01:12:59I do.
01:13:01If anyone can show just cause why Chad and Liz may not be lawfully wed, speak now, or forever hold
01:13:11your peace.
01:13:21Larry!
01:13:23It's over.
01:13:24Don't you check your phone?
01:13:36Sorry.
01:13:37My phone is dead.
01:13:38Sit down, Larry.
01:13:47Now we'll get to the good stuff.
01:13:49I signed my name on a dotted line and it was good, good, good.
01:13:56The cows got milked at supper time and it was good, good, good.
01:14:06The moon twinkled high in the southern sky and it was good, good, good.
01:14:13Now the honeymoon's over, it just up and died, but it was good, good, good.
01:14:23All the good times and the bad, the best times I ever had.
01:14:31The choice between happy and sad, all the good times and the bad, bad, bad.
01:14:42Liz.
01:14:44She gets a little cranky.
01:14:49Late afternoon.
01:14:51Oh, it's really coming down.
01:14:54Okay.
01:14:55Who's that hot table?
01:14:56Jane.
01:14:58She writes handwritten birthday cards for people on their birthdays.
01:15:04Who does that?
01:15:05She was my wolf.
01:15:07Fuck it.
01:15:08Is this...
01:15:11Is this your idea of...
01:15:17I suggest you give her, go up there and give her a kiss before she changes to it and then
01:15:20it's steady all over the fucking place.
01:15:22Sorry.
01:15:24All right.
01:15:24All right.
01:15:25You're choking me a little bit.
01:15:26I'm sorry.
01:15:30That's too good.
01:15:32Sorry.
01:15:33Mosquito.
01:15:35What?
01:15:36Every Thursday the tables get out.
01:15:39No, they don't.
01:15:40They don't get out.
01:15:41Every Thursday.
01:15:44But when you get there, it's just a big bunch.
01:15:47Oh my God.
01:15:50And when you get there, it's...
01:15:51So take it back away.
01:15:52Yeah.
01:15:57Get out of here.
01:15:59With...
01:16:01Stop.
01:16:04The Devil.
01:16:07Um...
01:16:09It's soft and sweet.
01:16:11And every pair of lips is a different color...
01:16:13Different color...
01:16:14Flavor.
01:16:16No, it's not.
01:16:18And this man, he always puts his head in the gator's mouth.
01:16:20But then I think...
01:16:22No.
01:16:22No.
01:16:23No.
01:16:25No.
01:16:26No.
01:16:27Careful.
01:16:28Why?
01:16:31I'm sorry.
01:16:34What the fuck?
01:16:36What the fuck?
01:16:38Honey, what are you throwing up?
01:16:41Come on.
01:16:42And I want to be supportive of your tiki bar.
01:16:46I don't know.
01:16:48All the good times and the bad, bad, bad.
01:17:02Hello?
01:17:06Is it over?
01:17:10Are we done?
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