- 5 hours ago
The Shattering 2022 [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:27Transcription by CastingWords
00:05:12Who's awake?
00:05:16Who's so handsome?
00:05:26Our daddy is still sleeping.
00:05:28We don't want to wake him up.
00:05:30We know how grumpy he gets if he wakes up ahead of time.
00:05:35Oh, my little treasure.
00:07:32You're welcome.
00:07:33No word.
00:07:41Good afternoon, Claire.
00:07:42My name is Monica.
00:07:45She's here to help, Claire.
00:07:47Tell me, is it more convenient for you to come to my office?
00:07:55Well, would you rather have sessions here?
00:08:03Okay, then I'm going to come here.
00:08:06Would you like that?
00:08:11It's not necessary for us to discuss anything you don't want to talk about, you know?
00:08:15I'll just come here and spend time with you.
00:08:18Okay?
00:08:21Great.
00:08:22And how about we start today?
00:08:27So you can take us?
00:08:28Yes.
00:08:29It's fine.
00:08:31All right.
00:08:31Please.
00:08:40Claire, do you want Eric to stay with us?
00:08:51Eric, you have to leave.
00:08:53It's family therapy.
00:08:55Well, the whole family's here.
00:08:56You heard her wishes.
00:08:58No, I didn't.
00:09:00I haven't heard a thing.
00:09:02That's not going to work.
00:09:03We won't get any positive results.
00:09:07Claire, why don't you talk to me?
00:09:08Please, why don't you talk to me?
00:09:10Eric, you...
00:09:10Tell me...
00:09:10No, I shouldn't.
00:09:11Eric!
00:09:11Eric, this is Claire's time.
00:09:13If you want a session, you should schedule an appointment.
00:09:16Fine.
00:09:27Quite a temper.
00:09:31Is he abusing you?
00:09:37So, did you ask for me?
00:09:41No.
00:09:43I see.
00:09:48What's there?
00:09:50It's your case.
00:09:54It's so big already.
00:09:56Me?
00:09:57No.
00:09:58This one's your medical.
00:10:00May I?
00:10:08Do you want to talk?
00:10:14I do.
00:10:16About this?
00:10:18No.
00:10:24About your mom?
00:10:26No.
00:10:30What about your husband?
00:10:34He just can't stand the silent treatment.
00:10:50No.
00:11:05Let me go.
00:11:07Let me go.
00:11:07No.
00:11:08No.
00:11:08No.
00:11:09No.
00:11:18Well, I don't want to go.
00:11:32I don't know.
00:11:53I don't know.
00:12:44I don't know.
00:12:53I don't know.
00:12:55I don't know.
00:13:23Oh, and if this is Claire, don't worry.
00:13:26I'm fine.
00:13:27I'm probably just asleep.
00:13:29Mom, I know what you're going to say, that I'm overreacting or something.
00:13:33But anyways, I have a question.
00:13:35Do you know how I can tell if a hair is mine or not?
00:13:40This is so stupid.
00:13:42This is so stupid.
00:13:42I don't even know how to ask this question properly.
00:13:46In conclusion, I will only say that I found someone else's hair in Eric's bag and that he is cheating
00:13:54on me.
00:13:56Mom, I know what you're going to say, and please don't, okay?
00:13:58I already caught him lying to me several times.
00:14:02What lies, you ask?
00:14:03Well, I will tell you.
00:14:05First of all, he spends three nights a week at the gym.
00:14:10And second of all, he keeps having these dinners with clients, which I'm not even invited to.
00:14:17No, of course, he spends every night in our bed.
00:14:21But still, something is happening.
00:14:24And I know it.
00:14:25I mean, I can feel it.
00:14:27They say that a woman knows when her man is betraying her.
00:14:33Did you feel this way with Dad?
00:14:36Well, why didn't you ever tell me?
00:14:39Well, if you told me, maybe I would...
00:14:43Yes, I don't know what I would have done.
00:14:49But who knows?
00:14:51Maybe it would help.
00:14:55Mom, why didn't you...
00:15:17Oh, my God.
00:15:25Hello, this is Mary Clarks.
00:15:27Please leave me a message after the tone, and I'll call you back as soon as possible.
00:15:30Oh, and if this is Claire, don't worry.
00:15:33I'm fine.
00:15:34I'm probably just asleep.
00:15:37You're right.
00:15:39I just screwed myself up again.
00:15:42I...
00:15:43The hair just seemed darker.
00:15:46Call me when you wake up.
00:15:49Please.
00:15:52I...
00:15:54I had another bad dream.
00:15:57I ran and I ran and...
00:16:01My boy cried.
00:16:03And he cried.
00:16:08And then the cries got louder.
00:16:11And I couldn't find it.
00:16:16I lost him.
00:16:17I...
00:16:18I don't know where I put him.
00:16:24And now I'm getting closer.
00:16:29But he's nowhere to be found.
00:16:31I lost him.
00:19:20Oh, wow.
00:19:22God, look at you.
00:19:24You look amazing.
00:19:25Wow.
00:19:26Let's take a look.
00:19:27Hold on, hold on.
00:19:30What is going on?
00:19:33Oh, why don't we just skip the main course and we'll go right for dessert?
00:19:36No, we should enjoy it fully.
00:19:38Oh, okay.
00:19:39Yeah.
00:19:40And how long have you been enjoying it fully without me?
00:19:43Sit.
00:19:44Okay.
00:19:44My God.
00:19:46Whew.
00:19:47Oh, I actually just got done with dinner, but how much can you eat when you're talking
00:19:53the whole time, right?
00:19:55Do not spoil the atmosphere.
00:20:04How was your day?
00:20:08Good.
00:20:10Good.
00:20:10It was your day.
00:20:15Fantastic.
00:20:21So let's have a drink.
00:20:23Let's drink.
00:20:38What happened?
00:20:44What happened?
00:20:45is? What day is today? Thursday? No, I mean, what day is today? Uh, it's March 26th.
00:21:07Something wrong? Look at me. Look at me. What exactly are you celebrating? Why just me? Wait. No, I am
00:21:25not celebrating this with you.
00:21:30No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Don't go, don't go, don't go. Please, please, please. I'm
00:21:35sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'll be better. I'll be better. Okay.
00:21:44Do you want to call Monica? Okay, I want to call Monica.
00:22:23I want to call Monica.
00:22:37It's too early. I'm just fixing your pillow.
00:22:43Mm-hmm.
00:22:47Mm-hmm.
00:22:53Mm-hmm.
00:22:56Mm-hmm.
00:22:59Mm-hmm.
00:23:01Mm-hmm.
00:23:02Mm-hmm.
00:23:03Mm-hmm.
00:23:15Mm-hmm.
00:23:17Mm-hmm.
00:23:19Mm-hmm.
00:23:20Mm-hmm.
00:23:20Mm-hmm.
00:23:22Mm-hmm.
00:23:25Mm-hmm.
00:23:26Mm-hmm.
00:23:27Mm-hmm.
00:23:28Mm-hmm.
00:23:30Mm-hmm.
00:23:31Mm-hmm.
00:23:32Mm-hmm.
00:23:33Mm-hmm.
00:23:33Mm-hmm.
00:23:33Mm-hmm.
00:23:35Mm-hmm.
00:23:41Mm-hmm.
00:23:42Mm-hmm.
00:23:43Mm-hmm.
00:23:44Mm-hmm.
00:23:44Mm-hmm.
00:23:45Mm-hmm.
00:23:45Mm-hmm.
00:23:47I do it.
00:23:49I love it.
00:23:57I love it.
00:24:07I love it.
00:24:09I love it.
00:24:09I love it.
00:24:11I love it.
00:24:14It's pretty good.
00:24:39Are you asleep?
00:24:54Could respond, you know?
00:24:57It was a very difficult day.
00:25:00As every day.
00:25:02We've got to pay the bills somehow, don't we?
00:25:16I missed you.
00:25:26And you?
00:25:30Of course I missed you.
00:25:42How was your day?
00:25:45Fine.
00:25:48Well, you said it was difficult.
00:25:49Like every day.
00:25:59I want you.
00:26:06I'm so tired, babe.
00:26:10Please.
00:26:11I really want you.
00:26:14I'm all sweaty and smelly.
00:26:16Just really take a shower before we do this.
00:26:18In the morning.
00:26:19If we'll shower, it'll only take a couple minutes.
00:26:21Come on.
00:26:28Let's just do it in the morning.
00:26:29I'm so relaxed right now.
00:26:33Well, I love you and I don't care if you're sweaty and smelly.
00:26:40Come on, babe.
00:26:41Tomorrow.
00:26:47Well, you're always in a hurry to leave me in the mornings.
00:26:54You're always in a hurry to leave me.
00:26:57That's not fair.
00:26:59Okay?
00:27:00I'm working for two here.
00:27:04What do you want from me?
00:27:05You want me to go back to work?
00:27:09That would be nice, you know?
00:27:12Your place is still your place.
00:27:15Did you contact them?
00:27:24Your boss called me.
00:27:26He just wanted to check up and see how things were.
00:27:29He wanted to see how you were feeling, okay?
00:27:31And?
00:27:37And I told them, kid, you were feeling, uh, better.
00:27:48Better?
00:27:51So you think that I feel better?
00:27:53I don't know.
00:27:54I'm just ready.
00:27:56I'm just ready to go back to work.
00:27:57I don't know.
00:27:59I just thought it would be nice for you to get out of the house, you know?
00:28:01And get your mind off of...
00:28:03So I should just forget about everything?
00:28:06As if nothing happened, right?
00:28:07I don't know.
00:28:08Do as you see fit, okay?
00:28:11No.
00:28:13No, you tell me.
00:28:14You tell me what I need to do.
00:28:16You know better.
00:28:18I want to go to sleep.
00:28:20Okay?
00:28:21And you're not understanding what I'm saying.
00:28:23So please, just lie down.
00:28:25Gown.
00:28:37How can you be okay?
00:28:43How can you be okay?
00:28:44How can you be okay?
00:28:47When I am suffocating?
00:28:53How can you be so insensitive that we can't even share a word about it?
00:28:59About what, Claire?
00:29:01Huh?
00:29:01Because there's an unbearable amount of hits going on right now.
00:29:06God, we need to live a normal life.
00:29:08And not in a fucking cemetery.
00:29:10We need to live a normal life, Claire.
00:29:14I love you.
00:29:16And the only reason I haven't grabbed my shit and left is because of that.
00:29:21But...
00:29:21But what? Huh?
00:29:22Say it. But what?
00:29:24But what?
00:29:25You went an entire month, an entire month without talking to me.
00:29:28Not a fucking single word, Claire.
00:29:31You didn't say anything.
00:29:32And I thought...
00:29:33I thought that was horrible.
00:29:34I thought that was so bad.
00:29:36But now, look at this.
00:29:37Look at this.
00:29:37You're constantly talking.
00:29:40Even in your sleep.
00:29:41And at work, you're calling me.
00:29:43And you're calling me every 15 minutes, Claire.
00:29:46And if I don't answer right away, you're texting me!
00:29:49And if I don't answer that, you call again!
00:29:53And I don't know.
00:29:54I don't know how long you can do this to me.
00:29:56I don't know how long you can do this to me
00:29:58because I need some fucking peace.
00:30:00Okay?
00:30:01I need some peace in my own home, Claire.
00:30:04Fuck!
00:30:07I am not a clown.
00:30:09Do I look like a fucking clown?
00:30:11I am not a clown!
00:30:12I am not some fucking monkey that's gonna jump when you say jump!
00:30:17I don't do that!
00:30:18What?
00:30:19It's either talk or fuck with you.
00:30:22Huh?
00:30:23You either wanna talk or you wanna fuck, and it's not even good!
00:30:27Look at me!
00:30:29I'm fucking tired!
00:30:32And I'm going to sleep on the fucking couch!
00:30:34And...
00:30:46Fuck!
00:30:50Fuck!
00:31:17Hello, this is Mary Clarks.
00:31:18Please leave me a message after the tone
00:31:20and I'll call you back as soon as possible.
00:31:23Oh, and if this is Claire, don't worry, I'm fine.
00:31:26I'm probably just asleep.
00:31:28I told you, this is it.
00:31:31Yes.
00:31:33No, please, please, Mom.
00:31:36Tell me, how can I save my marriage?
00:31:42Well, what can you tell me?
00:31:44You couldn't make it work with Dad.
00:31:49You don't want me to be happy.
00:31:55I'm sorry.
00:31:57I'm sorry.
00:32:00Yeah.
00:32:02No, you're right, you're right, you're right.
00:32:06A woman should always be a woman.
00:32:08Yeah.
00:32:13You would ever want this.
00:32:42Hush, my love.
00:32:46It's your mommy.
00:32:47Mommy remembers you.
00:32:48Mommy loves you.
00:32:54Mommy loves your daddy.
00:32:56And there is no way that we can lose him.
00:32:59Ahhhh.
00:33:01Come on.
00:33:03One more time.
00:33:20Auntie-
00:33:49I don't know why
00:33:50you don't just go with me and how exactly do you think I'm gonna do that
00:33:54well you would go upstairs and get ready quickly and we we go preferably using
00:34:02our feet come on you're out every evening well you like this body don't
00:34:11you yes yeah I don't know how you do it you're here all day by yourself come on
00:34:23let's train together I have so much to do oh yeah think what why don't you just
00:34:31take me out on a date we're married I don't have to do that anymore I'm kidding
00:34:39baby baby baby exactly baby what about that
00:34:49nothing I had a few bad days it's fine
00:34:58okay hey
00:35:03I love you
00:35:07really
00:35:09I swear on my abs
00:35:13all six of them
00:35:15go
00:35:19you sure yes all right go
00:35:23hey wait hey um I read an article that we can bring intimacy back into our
00:35:31relationship if you just carry me to bed every night
00:35:40where did you hear that go okay baby I'm gonna carry you you get ready
00:35:48I just want to let it go
00:35:51yeah
00:36:13take me
00:36:15go
00:36:15go
00:36:16go
00:36:17go
00:36:17go
00:36:18go
00:36:21What do you see?
00:36:27It's obvious.
00:36:30The woman?
00:36:32The woman?
00:36:37Free woman?
00:36:39Who is a free woman for you?
00:36:43Do you feel like a free woman, Monica?
00:36:46I could say that.
00:36:49But?
00:36:50There is no but.
00:36:54Then I envy you.
00:36:58Don't you feel free?
00:37:02I felt like that before.
00:37:08Years later, here I am.
00:37:13Scared.
00:37:17Hopeless.
00:37:20Useless.
00:37:21Useless.
00:37:22I wouldn't use those words.
00:37:26Then what words would you use?
00:37:30Let's see.
00:37:33I'm tired.
00:37:35Confused.
00:37:37And, um...
00:37:38I only feel pity for myself.
00:37:44You know I only have you.
00:37:48I mean, there's only you.
00:37:53I mean, there's only you for me.
00:37:58I don't have anybody else.
00:38:11You name the qualities which, as you believe, belong to you now.
00:38:14What about before?
00:38:18Oh, I was fearless.
00:38:20Full of life.
00:38:24And love.
00:38:26Do you love your husband?
00:38:29Of course I love my husband.
00:38:32But I can't give my love to him alone.
00:38:38Who else?
00:38:45If I were free, as before, I wouldn't suppress my desires.
00:38:54I wouldn't...
00:39:01Ignore my impulses.
00:39:08That's not right.
00:39:10I don't care.
00:39:14There's a connection between us.
00:39:18I can feel it.
00:39:22Why did you decide to take my case?
00:39:27Why did you come here?
00:39:52Claire!
00:39:56Claire?
00:39:58Claire?
00:39:59Claire, do you hear me?
00:40:01Hmm?
00:40:03I'll show you how free I am.
00:40:07You wanted to show me something?
00:40:11What?
00:40:12You left our conversation and you mumbled about wanting to show me something.
00:40:18Never mind.
00:40:19I'm sorry.
00:40:19I'm sorry.
00:40:22Why did you take my case?
00:40:24Why did you take my case?
00:40:24I took your case because I wanted to be close to you.
00:40:27I agreed to come here because I wanted us to be alone.
00:40:30Because I wanted to help you.
00:40:34Not that.
00:40:35Because I knew I could help you.
00:40:41Why did you agree to come here?
00:40:44Because you refused to come to my office.
00:40:46No. No.
00:40:49Who else should you give your love to?
00:40:52Do you want a coffee?
00:40:53Claire, we're not done here.
00:40:56I want to stop now.
00:40:58Who else should you give your love to?
00:41:02I'm tired.
00:41:04Who else, Claire?
00:41:06This needs to be said.
00:41:10I want you to leave my house.
00:41:13We're finished for today.
00:41:35You know you can trust me, right?
00:41:37What are you doing here?
00:41:40Are you alright?
00:41:42Come, Sid.
00:41:43You shouldn't be here.
00:41:44Get out of here.
00:41:46Calm down.
00:41:48Get out.
00:41:49Or I'll call the police.
00:41:59Oh, hey.
00:42:01How was today?
00:42:02We need to talk.
00:42:04Uh, okay. Yeah, let's just come inside.
00:42:06No, listen.
00:42:07Your wife is losing the boundaries of reality.
00:42:28No, you're not listening to me.
00:42:30Do you think I'm joking?
00:42:31No, I don't think you're joking.
00:42:33Okay, I just...
00:42:33I don't think that this is...
00:42:36critical.
00:42:38You know, things just started getting better.
00:42:41This is a problem.
00:42:42And it's not gonna get solved by ignoring it.
00:42:45If you don't see it,
00:42:46it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
00:42:48You've completely stepped aside.
00:42:50It's not right.
00:42:52Why did you stop keeping the diary?
00:42:54Well, that's why she has the meetings with you.
00:42:56No, look.
00:42:57I can't keep coming here anymore.
00:42:59Why?
00:42:59It only fuels her disease.
00:43:01She feels too comfortable at home.
00:43:03You need to come to my office,
00:43:05and you must bring her in person.
00:43:07In this setting,
00:43:08she assumes that I'm her friend.
00:43:10Okay. So what's wrong with that?
00:43:12She's creating a trusting relationship
00:43:14with her therapist, right?
00:43:15I'm not her friend.
00:43:17She's my patient.
00:43:29She's IAH
00:43:39He's so cute.
00:43:41He's literally the most beautiful baby in the world.
00:43:47Mom, how could we ignore him?
00:43:50I don't understand
00:43:56You're right
00:43:57Parental instinct does happen much later in men
00:44:01He just needs to spend more time with the kid
00:44:04Babe, home
00:44:05Okay, I love you
00:44:06I gotta go, bye
00:44:11Hey
00:44:11Hey
00:44:12What were you doing in there?
00:44:15Oh
00:44:27Someone's in a mood
00:44:29You hungry?
00:44:32I ate already
00:44:34Oh
00:44:36I didn't know there was gonna be food
00:44:38Well now there's always gonna be food
00:44:42Oh, okay
00:44:44You go change
00:44:45Okay
00:44:46And I'm gonna bring you some wine and cheese
00:44:48Wine and cheese?
00:44:50Mm-hmm
00:44:50Okay
00:44:52Wow
00:44:54Yeah
00:44:59Wine and cheese
00:45:05Hey, you wanna watch something?
00:45:07Sure
00:45:08Yeah, just something light
00:45:11You know
00:45:12I've been thinking for a while
00:45:14That
00:45:15I don't need therapy anymore
00:45:18Really?
00:45:20Yeah
00:45:20I feel much better
00:45:23What does Monica have to say about it?
00:45:26Who cares?
00:45:29I feel great
00:45:32Besides
00:45:33She's not gonna let me go
00:45:34It's
00:45:35It's
00:45:36It's probably just a money thing
00:45:37Red?
00:45:39Of course
00:45:40Since when?
00:45:43Um
00:45:44It was on sale
00:45:48That's my girl
00:45:49Careful, careful
00:45:59So
00:46:02I got a call from the funeral home
00:46:07They said they didn't receive last month's check
00:46:09Did you?
00:46:10Did you send it?
00:46:10Oh my god
00:46:11I'm so clumpy
00:46:15I probably just forgot
00:46:17Can you just do it for me?
00:46:20Claire
00:46:20It's really your responsibility
00:46:22Please
00:46:23Just do it for me
00:46:24Okay?
00:46:26You know I'm not good with numbers
00:46:30You're in financing
00:46:31What do you mean?
00:46:35Claire
00:46:37Claire
00:47:00What did she say?
00:47:02Your mom was there
00:47:03She couldn't stay to the end
00:47:04Because she felt so bad
00:47:05You're lying
00:47:06Claire
00:47:06And as soon as she
00:47:10Claire
00:47:10Your boss
00:47:11Was there
00:47:12Okay?
00:47:13He showed up
00:47:13And he gave you time off
00:47:15So you'd get a hold of yourself
00:47:17Fuck
00:47:52Leave already
00:47:53I'm alright
00:48:13Oh god
00:48:15Oh god
00:48:18Oh god
00:48:19Oh god
00:48:19Oh god
00:48:20Forgive me
00:48:25I didn't want that
00:48:29I didn't want that
00:48:33Oh my god
00:48:35This is everything to me
00:48:44I didn't want that
00:48:45I didn't do it on purpose
00:48:47Oh my god
00:48:53He's wrong
00:48:54He's wrong
00:48:57I didn't control it at first
00:49:00But I thought maybe it was just too early
00:49:03Oh god
00:49:05Oh my god
00:49:07Forgive me
00:49:20Oh my god
00:49:26Oh my god
00:49:28Oh my god
00:49:34Oh my god
00:49:39Give us this
00:49:48Give us this
00:49:49Give us this
00:49:49Give us this day our daily bread
00:49:51And forgive us our trespasses
00:49:53As we forgive those who trespass against us
00:50:02Let's do something nicer
00:50:31Hey
00:50:33Hey
00:50:34Hey, you.
00:50:35Come on, what are you doing?
00:50:36You need to stop running around the house and sit.
00:50:38I spend all day in this chair.
00:50:40Yeah, you look great in it.
00:50:42You can have it.
00:50:43All right.
00:50:44Come on.
00:50:45All right.
00:50:46Hi.
00:50:46Look at you.
00:50:47You're glowing.
00:50:49How's my baby, huh?
00:50:50How's my little guy?
00:50:52You okay in there?
00:50:55He's going to be able to reply soon?
00:50:57Yeah.
00:50:58It's going to be a little while before you can understand what we're saying.
00:51:03Oh, mama.
00:51:05Hmm?
00:51:08Pretty soon.
00:51:14So close.
00:51:14You can't be scared.
00:51:16I can be scared.
00:51:18I read an article yesterday.
00:51:21Actually, what do you think?
00:51:22Where do birth pains score on the list?
00:51:24What?
00:51:25The list.
00:51:27Yeah.
00:51:28They score number two.
00:51:30Guess what number one is.
00:51:32What?
00:51:32The pain you feel when your limbs are severed by a bomb.
00:51:37Oh, my God.
00:51:38And I have to go through this.
00:51:39Oh, my God.
00:51:40Yeah.
00:51:41Ah.
00:51:41Oh.
00:51:42Oh.
00:51:42Oh.
00:51:43What?
00:51:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:51:45Just kicking.
00:51:46Just kicking.
00:51:47He's kicking?
00:51:47Oh, yeah.
00:51:48He's excited for daddy.
00:51:51Kick again, buddy.
00:51:52Kick for daddy.
00:51:53Come on.
00:51:55Stop screaming.
00:51:57Let me get on the floor.
00:51:59He kicks more when I'm laying down.
00:52:00All right, let's get in here.
00:52:01Oh, my babies.
00:52:04Here we go.
00:52:04Easy.
00:52:05Let me get the dress.
00:52:07Oh, my God.
00:52:08I am so ready.
00:52:10Ready, ready, ready.
00:52:11Oh.
00:52:12Oh, severed limbs or not.
00:52:13We got you.
00:52:14I'm ready.
00:52:15Okay.
00:52:16Okay.
00:52:16Easy, easy.
00:52:17Watch your head on the desk.
00:52:19Give me this.
00:52:20You good?
00:52:20Okay, yeah, yeah.
00:52:22Good, okay.
00:52:23Okay.
00:52:24Okay.
00:52:25Stay.
00:52:25I'm going to do it all, okay?
00:52:30Oh, here we are.
00:52:32There we go.
00:52:34All right.
00:52:34Okay.
00:52:35There we go.
00:52:36Oh, that's it.
00:52:38That's the spot.
00:52:39So what did you do?
00:52:40Oh, what did I do?
00:52:42What?
00:52:43What did you do?
00:52:44Oh, no.
00:52:45I didn't do, I was, uh, nothing.
00:52:48Please.
00:52:49No, that's my little secret.
00:52:51You're not going to know.
00:52:52I'll tell you if you want.
00:52:54Okay.
00:52:54I got you a t-shirt that says best dad ever.
00:52:58That you can wear when you go walking with the boy.
00:53:00That's very sweet of you, but a little bit too soon.
00:53:03Oh, yeah.
00:53:05Yeah, you're right.
00:53:06Especially since you said you wouldn't change any diapers.
00:53:10No, no.
00:53:10I just think that that's, there's a person for that that we can pay.
00:53:13That's more qualified to deal with that.
00:53:15You're joking, right?
00:53:17Absolutely not.
00:53:19I will, I will.
00:53:19But you said, we agreed.
00:53:21No.
00:53:22Mm-mm.
00:53:22No.
00:53:22Signed, nothing.
00:53:24The dad has to take part.
00:53:27Okay, okay.
00:53:29I will change one diaper per week.
00:53:34No.
00:53:35What if I have to go somewhere and you have to be alone with the kid?
00:53:38He's just going to sit in a stinky diaper?
00:53:40Okay, well, first of all, where are you going?
00:53:42And second, why are you leaving us?
00:53:46Well, maybe I have to do my nails.
00:53:48Actually, yeah.
00:53:50I'm going to do my nails.
00:53:51Oh, the nails.
00:53:52Okay.
00:53:53Okay.
00:53:54Easy peasy.
00:53:55That takes an hour.
00:53:56Topps, I can let him sit.
00:53:57Hands and feet.
00:53:59Okay.
00:53:59Plus the traffic.
00:54:01And I'm going to need a coffee.
00:54:03Oh.
00:54:03That's like three to four hours at least.
00:54:05Okay, fine.
00:54:06I will change him while you're gone for that one time.
00:54:10No, no, no.
00:54:14Fine.
00:54:14I will change all the diapers.
00:54:16You don't get it, do you?
00:54:19You're going to fall in love with your son when you see him.
00:54:22I know.
00:54:23And his poops are going to smell like roses to you.
00:54:29You're exaggerating.
00:54:30No poop smells like roses.
00:54:33Look, I'm voluntarily agreeing to go through this pain so you can change half of the diapers.
00:54:40Fun fact, that pain, orgasms.
00:54:44Yeah.
00:54:44When you're going to birth, all of the endorphins, they act up.
00:54:49And those are orgasms.
00:54:52But the contractions are covering them up.
00:54:55So you don't realize it.
00:54:56You just feel pain.
00:54:58So, I mean, that's why the baby and the mom, like, have such a good connection after birth.
00:55:04Yeah.
00:55:05Yeah, I'm jealous.
00:55:06Because I'm just going to be in the hallway, pacing back and forth, waiting for this to all be over.
00:55:12Banging my head against the wall.
00:55:14What?
00:55:15The hallway?
00:55:16Yeah, where else would I be?
00:55:18You're going to be in the room with me.
00:55:20What?
00:55:20Yeah.
00:55:21I need you to hold my hand.
00:55:23Hold my leg.
00:55:25Seriously?
00:55:26Help me push.
00:55:27Oh, God.
00:55:37Oh, shit.
00:55:39Shit.
00:55:57Oh, don't, that's not funny.
00:55:59I don't want to, no.
00:56:00Oh, don't do that.
00:56:02Oh.
00:56:03Come on.
00:56:04I want to have sex with my husband after that.
00:56:06I want you to have sex with your husband after that.
00:56:08All right, help me up.
00:56:10Are we having sex right now?
00:56:13I can't stay in one position for too long.
00:56:16Come on.
00:56:17Okay.
00:56:17Yeah, let's do this.
00:56:19Here.
00:56:20Oh.
00:56:21Mm.
00:56:21All right.
00:56:22Oh, God.
00:56:22Okay.
00:56:23Got you.
00:56:24I got you.
00:56:24All right.
00:56:25Okay.
00:56:25Okay.
00:56:25Here we go, yeah?
00:56:26Yep.
00:56:27All right.
00:56:29You know, you're going to fight me for the right to change the diaper.
00:56:32Oh, yeah?
00:56:33Yeah.
00:56:33Oh, that's a fight I am willing to lose.
00:56:36Here we go.
00:56:37Do I look like a goddess?
00:56:39You, are you kidding me?
00:56:41Yes, of course.
00:56:42I feel like a goddess.
00:56:43I need goddess.
00:56:44Goddess of gods.
00:56:45That's why I like this dress.
00:56:47This dress is amazing.
00:56:48All right.
00:56:49Ready?
00:56:49Twirl.
00:56:51Boop.
00:56:52Hold.
00:56:53I got you.
00:56:54I got you.
00:56:54And dip.
00:56:55Oh, God.
00:56:56Oh, God.
00:56:56Oh, God.
00:56:56Oh, God.
00:56:57Oh, you're so light.
00:56:58Okay.
00:56:59Yeah.
00:57:00You're the lightest pregnancy baby ever.
00:57:04Here we go.
00:57:06Oh.
00:57:06Huh?
00:57:07Oh, baby.
00:57:08And feet.
00:57:10Okay.
00:57:11The feet, the feet, the beautiful feet.
00:57:12Here we go.
00:57:14Oh, baby.
00:57:16What?
00:57:17I want to eat now.
00:57:18Oh, of course.
00:57:20What do you like to eat?
00:57:22Mmm, I want ice cream.
00:57:25That is a good choice.
00:57:26I second that.
00:57:28Ice cream coming up.
00:57:30Mmm-hmm.
00:57:33Oh, wait.
00:57:34Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:57:35Yes, madame?
00:57:37And a sausage.
00:57:39Sausage.
00:57:41Do we have any ice cream that tastes like sausage?
00:57:45No.
00:57:48But I will scoop out some ice cream, and instead of chocolate chips, I'll put a sausage.
00:57:53Deal?
00:57:56No.
00:57:57Keep it separate.
00:57:58I hear, and I obey.
00:58:00Here.
00:58:01Coming up.
00:58:02Mom.
00:58:05Come on.
00:58:20Come on.
00:58:23Let's go.
00:58:55Let's go.
00:59:21Let's go.
01:00:12Let's go.
01:00:14Let's go.
01:00:15Let's go.
01:00:17Let's go.
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01:00:49Let's go.
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01:12:20Let's go.
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01:14:50Let's go.
01:15:26Let's go.
01:15:51Let's go.
01:15:53Let's go.
01:16:22Let's go.
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