- 5 hours ago
Zombie Repellent [Full Movie] [Recommended]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:21so the plan was to sneak off and get married in Vegas the whole thing was
00:00:25ruined by zombies yeah freaking zombies thank you can you come in with me next
00:00:39time why because the dude in line behind me is hitting on me why do I always get
00:00:45hit on at gas stations honey you're irresistible there he is what who the
00:00:54hell is Jasmine Jasmine can't wait to see you again when are you going to invite
00:01:00me don't you don't need to keep reading that I can't wait to spend the whole
00:01:03weekend with you hey hey it's just a girl from work nobody from work sends me
00:01:08notes hmm good dude needs a better phone password I guess
00:01:28how much longer are we going to do this okay I get it back roads are the heart of America
00:01:35but how much corn do we need to see this this is the road less traveled right yeah we're gonna
00:01:41make
00:01:41it to Vegas on time but if we just took the main highway how memorable would that be
00:01:49after eight years of therapy this should be nothing but it's our wedding I love you
00:01:58don't I love you
00:02:20oh come on gravel this is gonna shave an hour of trip
00:02:30huh I want it
00:02:41we're getting married tomorrow yeah we are and we're cutting it pretty close
00:02:49you know this is gonna make a great story one day
00:02:59huh
00:02:59huh
00:03:00huh
00:03:02huh
00:03:03huh
00:03:06huh
00:03:10huh
00:03:18that's not good
00:03:42that's not good
00:03:43huh
00:03:52Where are you going?
00:03:58Liz.
00:04:02It's a minor delay.
00:04:05Baby, you need to relax.
00:04:08Hey.
00:04:18Baby, it's my job to make you happy, right?
00:04:24I'll tell you what, from this moment on, for the rest of our lives, whether it's this
00:04:30route or that route, it's your call, okay?
00:04:36I'll tell you what, just to show you that I can change, you get to decide where we eat
00:04:41for the whole trip.
00:04:43Yeah?
00:04:46Is it good?
00:04:49All right.
00:04:53Hey, Chad.
00:04:55Yeah?
00:04:57Where's the car?
00:05:03Huh.
00:05:12Babe.
00:05:13I don't want to talk about it.
00:05:17Just got to look on the bright side, all right?
00:05:20What is the bright side of my wedding dress being stolen?
00:05:23I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding.
00:05:26These things always have a way of working themselves out.
00:05:29I don't want to talk about it.
00:05:44I don't want to talk about it.
00:05:45You guys need a ride?
00:05:46I don't want to talk about it.
00:05:48No, we're good.
00:05:51Our car was stolen.
00:05:53Around here?
00:05:54Not likely.
00:06:00where'd you leave it um over by the uh gravel road down that way and it just vanished
00:06:13well just sitting around here buck probably came out and hitched it up
00:06:17hop in and i'll take you to it that's okay if you can just point it's in the right direction
00:06:21we can
00:06:25walk what are you doing you can walk please i'm gonna hop in the back and keep susie company
00:06:38well i mean why can't i ride up front with you guys i need my elbow room
00:06:46in the back
00:06:56there's no handle hop over
00:07:23help yourself
00:07:25oh no thanks i'm trying to quit i know the struggle i've been trying to quit pretty ladies
00:07:38what are you doing way out here my fiancee wanted to take the scenic route
00:07:42well plenty of that around here where are you heading vegas uh we're eloping what pretty
00:07:52gal like you you deserve a proper wedding like a fancy one with 400 pound pig roasting over
00:08:00an open pit moonshine and a band with banjo and mandolin gotta have the banjo don't let me
00:08:10say goodbye with anything less you don't want to go marry a guy who won't put your number
00:08:15one
00:08:18well actually the vegas thing was kind of my idea
00:08:27well ain't you an easy going sort of gal
00:08:30well
00:08:30well
00:08:34Susie?
00:09:05Tommy!
00:09:08Tommy Tick, are you?
00:09:09She's the best mechanic in the area.
00:09:12Sup, Clem? Breaking arts as usual.
00:09:15You know it. Found these two up off of 51.
00:09:21That's my car.
00:09:23Don't cream your jeans, sweetheart. It's a Nissan.
00:09:27We'll see you, Missy. Good luck.
00:09:35Uh, Liz?
00:09:43How much stuff is there?
00:09:46What about my phone?
00:09:48Everything.
00:09:49Relax, Princess. The Sheriff has it.
00:09:53Why?
00:09:54So nothing goes missing.
00:09:57And it gives him a chance to go through all your stuff.
00:10:00Make sure you're not up to no good.
00:10:03He can't do that.
00:10:05I'll let you be the one to tell him that.
00:10:08And you. You degenerate.
00:10:10Your battery's dead as a doornail, boss.
00:10:12Oh.
00:10:14That it?
00:10:15Nope.
00:10:17Do you have a phone I can use?
00:10:20Inside.
00:10:31Devil Hill switchboard. How may I direct your call?
00:10:34Um, I'm at the garage and Tommy said I could use the phone.
00:10:39No problem. Who would you like to be connected with?
00:10:42New York. The number is...
00:10:44Sorry, honey. This switchboard can only connect you with people in our town.
00:10:51Okay. How do I call outside the town?
00:10:53You can. Thank you for calling.
00:11:09So now I'm not live within a hundred feet. I've been crying.
00:11:12How?
00:11:13The phone only works for people in this town.
00:11:16I could have told you that.
00:11:18Where's the sheriff's office?
00:11:19Go to the end of my building. Turn left. Look up. You'll see it.
00:11:25Good. I'll use my own phone.
00:11:27Not in this town.
00:11:30Why not?
00:11:31The council has a no-tech policy.
00:11:35No cell phones, computers...
00:11:38It's a bit extreme.
00:11:40It's the way we like it.
00:11:44Can you fix the car?
00:11:46Easy.
00:11:47Good.
00:11:47Should be ready by tomorrow afternoon.
00:11:51We can't stay here.
00:11:54That's true.
00:11:55No motels.
00:11:58Huh.
00:12:01You could try Mrs. Powell's up on First and Devil's Hill.
00:12:05She takes in...
00:12:08strays once in a while.
00:12:12Strays...
00:12:14Please.
00:12:16She gets along with that sometimes.
00:12:19We ready in the morning?
00:12:21Late afternoon.
00:12:24Okay.
00:12:26Thanks.
00:12:33Babe.
00:12:35Where are you going?
00:12:37Going to get my phone, my dress, and go home.
00:12:42Don't you think you're overreacting?
00:12:47Just... just like a little bit.
00:12:49I'm not overreacting.
00:12:52The whole point of this trip was so that we didn't have to deal with the stress of a big
00:12:56wedding.
00:12:57And this has been nothing but stressful!
00:13:00Yeah.
00:13:09Perfect.
00:13:10What is it?
00:13:18Be back tomorrow at 9am.
00:13:21Huh.
00:13:25Chadwick Allen Webber?
00:13:28Weber?
00:13:30Fix this!
00:13:37Babe?
00:13:39Babe?
00:13:52Seems nice.
00:13:58Right.
00:14:16We've been expecting you.
00:14:18Oh, they must have called you and told you about our car.
00:14:21Yeah, Tommy said...
00:14:24I will allow you to stay one night, providing you follow the house rules.
00:14:32Sure.
00:14:34Enter.
00:14:50It's a drafty house.
00:14:53If you're not married, you'll stay in separate rooms.
00:14:57Oh...
00:14:58We're actually engaged.
00:15:00Separate rooms.
00:15:03That's fine.
00:15:05Dinner will be served at 7pm sharp.
00:15:08Lights out at 10pm.
00:15:10And I need your rooms returned like you found them at 9am.
00:15:17How much do we owe you?
00:15:18I will not accept money for my hospitality.
00:15:23It's really no big deal.
00:15:24No!
00:15:27My daughter, Ellie May, will show you to your rooms.
00:15:38I need your toilet time.
00:15:42Hi.
00:15:43I'm Ellie May.
00:15:45You can call me Ellie.
00:15:47Hi, Ellie.
00:15:48What?
00:15:50I'm Liz, and this is my fiancé, Chad.
00:15:55We don't get many visitors around here.
00:15:57At least, none that stay very long.
00:16:02Come on up.
00:16:10What?
00:16:17In there?
00:16:17No, hun.
00:16:18You're in there.
00:16:20There's towels on the bed if you want to freshen up.
00:16:23Thanks.
00:16:26You'll be in there.
00:16:29And in case you're wondering, my rooms are right above yours.
00:16:34See you at dinner.
00:16:42What?
00:16:45Liz.
00:16:54Something's 손�機會 is wrong.
00:16:55Uh, you sit on the table.
00:17:00Said all the things around guys.
00:17:00No.
00:17:16You've all been waiting in theуляр than tr successfully.
00:17:17Oh, hi.
00:17:17Oh, hi, Steven, what do I do?
00:17:20What is he doing?
00:17:32Would you like to give thanks before we eat?
00:17:37Uh, no thanks.
00:17:39You can go ahead.
00:17:44I think Chavs would love to, wouldn't you?
00:17:56Oh my god, please bless this meal and give us the strength to say no to the devil and please
00:18:12stop Satan from corrupting our minds.
00:18:19Let us all ask what would Jesus do if he was here at this table with us.
00:18:25Just let us all make good choices and get home safe.
00:18:46Squirrels in the basement.
00:18:47Squirrels.
00:18:49Squirrels?
00:18:51Please help yourself.
00:18:55Oh, um, that looks really delicious.
00:19:01Um, but I'm actually a vegetarian.
00:19:05How disappointing.
00:19:07More for us.
00:19:15Please.
00:19:19Please.
00:19:22Please.
00:19:28Why'd you keep pajamas?
00:19:30They were just in my bed.
00:19:33Why'd you keep pajamas?
00:19:37I think we should leave.
00:19:39What?
00:19:42I think we should leave.
00:19:45I think we should leave.
00:19:46I can't understand you.
00:19:47Go down.
00:19:50What?
00:19:51I think we should leave.
00:19:55I don't go where?
00:19:58Baby, I know it's creepy, but let's just spend the night here, and first thing in the morning, we'll leave.
00:20:07Something's not right here. Nothing's right here.
00:20:12Look, I'm one door down, okay? Nothing's going to happen. You trust me, right?
00:20:27Okay. I trust you will honor the house rules until tomorrow.
00:20:35Yes, ma'am.
00:20:37Yeah, I mean, oh, I wasn't trying to sneak around to have sex or anything.
00:20:43We've had plenty of sex. Inside, outside, we've done it.
00:20:49In a plane, but we got caught, and so I just wouldn't even try that here.
00:20:55I mean, she's pretty tired of all the sexing from earlier, so I think we're just going to be doing
00:21:03some sleeping, right?
00:21:05Yeah, so no sexing, just sleeping. If anything, I'll be flying solo tonight.
00:21:10Stop talking.
00:21:11I'm going to stop talking now.
00:21:13Good night.
00:21:14Good night.
00:21:17Good night.
00:21:20Okay.
00:21:50Oh, my God.
00:22:19Oh, my God.
00:22:59Oh, my God.
00:23:29Oh, my God.
00:23:30Are you naked?
00:23:31I don't just know how you like it.
00:23:37What are you doing in here?
00:23:39I could ask you the same thing.
00:23:41It's against house rules.
00:23:42Mother's not going to be very happy.
00:23:44What did she do with this?
00:23:45Nothing.
00:23:46She was already gone.
00:23:48Shit.
00:23:49Where'd she go?
00:23:50She went out the front door.
00:23:52I don't think she wanted to stay here tonight.
00:23:56Where would she have gone?
00:23:59There's only a few places in town that are even open.
00:24:03You could go look.
00:24:05Okay.
00:24:07Maybe downstairs in ten minutes.
00:24:10And put some clothes on.
00:24:12I'm engaged.
00:24:38Ma'am.
00:24:41It looks like we got a peeping Betty caught in the act out at the pall place.
00:24:45No.
00:24:45No.
00:24:46I'm staying here.
00:24:47Up there.
00:24:48I came down because I heard something.
00:24:51You heard?
00:24:51You heard a noise.
00:24:54What did it sound like?
00:24:57What?
00:24:58The sound that you heard.
00:25:00What did it sound like?
00:25:01It was just a sound.
00:25:05Was it like a...
00:25:08Help me!
00:25:11Sound?
00:25:15No.
00:25:17It was a dragging sound.
00:25:20It was Mrs. Powell.
00:25:25Cancel that peeping Betty.
00:25:27Copy that, Sheriff.
00:25:29I think you'd better come with me.
00:25:31What?
00:25:32I didn't do anything.
00:25:33No, you're not in any trouble.
00:25:35I just thought you might like your phones in that pretty wedding dress bag.
00:25:39Oh.
00:25:40Great.
00:25:41I'll get my fiancé.
00:25:44You know, on second thought, I don't have a lot of time.
00:25:47Why don't you come to the station tomorrow and I'll give them to you.
00:25:49Around four o'clock.
00:25:51But the sign on your door said you'd be in early.
00:25:54I was.
00:25:55But I got crazy Carl in the back seat and I gotta get him to the county jail tonight.
00:26:05Can I go like this?
00:26:07Oh, sure.
00:26:08It'll only take about 15 minutes.
00:26:11Okay.
00:26:14Let's go.
00:26:15Let's go.
00:26:22Ellie.
00:26:31Ellie.
00:26:32Ellie May?
00:26:40You sure are jumpy.
00:26:43What's the plan?
00:26:44We'll walk into town and ask if anybody's seen you.
00:26:48Walk?
00:26:49I don't drive.
00:26:52None of the townspeople seem to like me.
00:26:55They don't like any strangers.
00:26:57But you're with me. Nothing's gonna happen.
00:27:03That's Crazy Carl.
00:27:07Hi.
00:27:08Pleasure to meet you.
00:27:10Carl makes the best moonshine in the whole state.
00:27:14Is it legal to make moonshine here?
00:27:18Nope.
00:27:19Hell no.
00:27:21Oh, is that why you're going to jail?
00:27:24Well, Carl made the mistake of sleeping with the mayor's wife.
00:27:28No crime in that.
00:27:30But when the judge found out that he was sleeping with his wife, too,
00:27:34he threw the book at him.
00:27:36Literally.
00:27:37Almost took out my eye.
00:27:39Well, that's what you get for sleeping around, Carl.
00:27:43Maybe try getting a girlfriend?
00:27:47Old Carl's not the boyfriend type.
00:27:56You like fried pickles?
00:27:58I don't know if I've ever had fried pickles.
00:28:01Shut up!
00:28:02How?
00:28:02Vinegar pie?
00:28:04No.
00:28:04Chitlins?
00:28:06Goat stew?
00:28:07Slug burger?
00:28:10I think you're making things up, man.
00:28:12Thank you for Mars.
00:28:16So, how'd you meet your girlfriend?
00:28:19I was visiting Los Angeles looking at post-grad schools,
00:28:23and he was assigned to give me the campus tour.
00:28:26Love at first sight.
00:28:29Hardly.
00:28:29He was unfocused and completely scatterbrained.
00:28:34He didn't say one thing that was substantial.
00:28:38And then, at the end of the day, he looks at me and says,
00:28:40Liz, you're very wound up, and you're too serious.
00:28:47He did not.
00:28:49The nerve.
00:28:50The nerve.
00:28:50Oh, and then he asked me if I wanted to go watch the sunset with him.
00:28:55The nerve?
00:28:56How presumptuous.
00:28:58Right?
00:28:59A little bit of that Chad swagger.
00:29:02She finally agreed.
00:29:04You charmer.
00:29:06Well, Liz is like this little tightly wound ball of perfection.
00:29:11But, uh, all of her best qualities are sort of her little imperfections.
00:29:16Oh, and you're a romantic.
00:29:19He's a romantic.
00:29:21You know what he got me for our first anniversary?
00:29:24A spa package with Senate oils included?
00:29:27A diamond ring.
00:29:30Tennis shoes and a t-shirt.
00:29:31I didn't know neither.
00:29:38Liz, I'm gonna run in and grab your stuff.
00:29:41Carol, you being nice if she's spoken for?
00:29:55Liz, you're a lucky girl.
00:29:58Thanks, Carl.
00:30:02Any chance you can help me get out of these cuffs?
00:30:06The keys are on the keychain.
00:30:11That's not gonna happen.
00:30:22Hi, Sarah. Can I get three grave makers?
00:30:24You got it, Ellie.
00:30:37Huh.
00:30:40What's taking so long?
00:30:43Maybe you had to drop a deuce.
00:30:54Oh, shit! They got him!
00:30:59Liz, don't leave me!
00:31:01Please!
00:31:10Run!
00:31:12Move it!
00:31:16Run!
00:31:22Thanks, Sarah.
00:31:26You like dancing?
00:31:29We love dancing.
00:31:31Every Thursday they clear out the tables and it's a big dance floor.
00:31:34With a disco ball.
00:31:36With a disco ball.
00:31:38Disco ball?
00:31:46Drink up, city boy.
00:31:50I'm trying to find Liz.
00:31:52Eh.
00:31:52That's right.
00:31:54Liz disappeared.
00:31:56That girl is wound so tight.
00:31:58Might have imploded.
00:32:01Look.
00:32:02You guys don't know Liz like I do.
00:32:06He's a romantic.
00:32:08Have you seen her?
00:32:10I love this song! Let's dance!
00:32:14Now?
00:32:14She was asking me.
00:32:30Hi.
00:32:32You shouldn't be here.
00:32:34It's not safe.
00:32:37This whole place is cursed.
00:32:40What?
00:32:42Get out while you can.
00:32:44They'll come for you.
00:32:46They'll come.
00:32:48For you.
00:32:51Who?
00:32:57What is this?
00:33:03Is that a secret?
00:33:11Dude, what are you on?
00:33:13Come on, Larry.
00:33:13Let's not scare the customers.
00:33:15I do.
00:33:24Don't listen to him.
00:33:25He wears aluminum foil over his underwear.
00:33:28What?
00:33:29He said a UFO took him when he was little.
00:33:31And when they brought him back he was clairvoyant.
00:33:34But I don't know why clairvoyant would come here every night and get drunk.
00:33:40I need to find Liz.
00:33:46Hold up.
00:33:47Hold up.
00:33:51I can't believe they got the sheriff.
00:33:54What the hell is going on?
00:33:55They got him.
00:33:57They got him.
00:33:58Who?
00:33:59Zombies are fucking zombies, Liz.
00:34:04No.
00:34:06No, maybe he just got burned.
00:34:08This is bad.
00:34:11If there's one, there's more.
00:34:12And they'll be coming for us.
00:34:15Zombies aren't real.
00:34:17Why?
00:34:18Because you never saw one.
00:34:19Liz, help me get out of these cuffs.
00:34:22How?
00:34:23Come here.
00:34:23Come here.
00:34:27Spit on my arm and my wrists.
00:34:33Ew, no.
00:34:34How?
00:34:34We don't have time.
00:34:35Liz, spit.
00:34:37Lubrication.
00:34:38I can't protect you with these on.
00:34:41Spit.
00:34:42Okay.
00:34:43Oh, God.
00:34:46No.
00:34:48What?
00:34:49Nothing.
00:34:50I got a gang reflex to spit.
00:34:52Just keep on.
00:34:53Go, go, go, go.
00:35:01Again.
00:35:06A few more.
00:35:14Almost there.
00:35:15Ah.
00:35:18Ugh.
00:35:20Ugh.
00:35:22Ugh.
00:35:24So gross.
00:35:30Run!
00:35:34It'd be cute if they had those little umbrellas for the drinks.
00:35:37You think?
00:35:40Okay, look, this has been a really good time.
00:35:46i need to find my fiancee i haven't seen her if she left the house and just started walking
00:35:53she could be anywhere did you check down by the river that's a great idea i didn't think that
00:36:01what's down by the river the river silly
00:36:05okay well why would someone go down to the river it's the closest lit up thing to the house
00:36:10looks like you're walking towards something but when you get there it's just a bunch of big empty
00:36:14buildings and lots okay so let's go back cutie
00:36:23my car's gonna be ready tomorrow right might be ready sooner than i thought
00:36:32will you please tell me what's going on i've got a plan
00:36:37we'll wait for the barge we'll swim out and we'll ride it down a few hundred miles
00:36:44what no i need to find chad and and what happened to the sheriff i told you he's a zombie
00:36:51there must
00:36:52have been one hiding in the police station everyone in this town is crazy i don't think
00:36:59that's a very fair statement you've only met a few of us i'm being unfair
00:37:06no you're right just hard to hear sometimes look either you tell me what's going on or i'm out of
00:37:15here where are you gonna go down there not a great idea okay well down towards those towers
00:37:25good luck with that they'll find you down there home can i ask you a question sure you're my new
00:37:34best friend okay um why no cell phones and wi-fi and normal stuff just how it's always been it's
00:37:44our
00:37:44normal have you ever left this place sure i have there's a big carnival i go to every year out
00:37:52on
00:37:52highway 67 they got a big old gator and this man he always puts his head in the gator's mouth
00:37:57but
00:37:58then i heard that the gator bit his head and squished it like a melon it's really sad because that
00:38:03was my
00:38:03favorite part not not the head squishing part but that the prize you've got who wants to travel when
00:38:16you live in paradise that's what mama always says i shouldn't be telling you this you have to promise
00:38:24not to say anything to anyone ever who am i gonna tell yeah you're right they started mining back in
00:38:361850
00:38:37all up and down the river the town was booming and money was flowing and then people got greedy
00:38:45in 1906 one mining group they hit a very toxic substance that was oozing out of the rock
00:38:53and almost instantly the miners started dying at least that's what they thought the boss saw
00:39:02something happen to the miners and instantly made a split decision to blow the only exit out
00:39:09with the miners still inside when they told the public that the miners were killed the town was angry
00:39:18and they were also scared about what was oozing out of the rock
00:39:24can you just tell me what happened to the sheriff you young people are so impatient i'm getting to it
00:39:30okay sorry what nobody knew was they didn't die and they would never die
00:39:39they became the undead and no one would have ever known but in 1972 a rich developer from new york
00:39:50came
00:39:50here and he wanted to build a gambling resort right here on the river they went into the mine
00:39:55when they broke through several construction workers were attacked by the undead
00:40:02how come no one knows about this the developer had the mine sealed and demolished what work had been
00:40:09done and left and the town they acted like it never happened
00:40:16so if the mine was patched up then how did the sheriff turn
00:40:23every now and then a few will find their way out
00:40:27and you just live like this like it's normal it is normal toss
00:40:36look you can't pretend like you weren't waiting for me naked
00:40:41i wasn't waiting for you
00:40:46you're talking about liz
00:40:51you're a lesbian whoa easy with the labels cowboy i like boys i just prefer kissing girls
00:40:58okay it's like hot dogs and ice cream
00:41:04what okay like kissing a girl is like ice cream it's soft and sweet and each pair of lips is
00:41:10like a
00:41:10different flavor of creamy awesomeness but sometimes you just feel like a hot dog
00:41:18excuse me
00:41:23and i wasn't flirting with you at dinner i was amusing myself big difference
00:41:37wait
00:41:44okay i need you to do me a favor you see that rope hanging down yeah yep all right i
00:41:52need you to
00:41:52stand on my shoulders reach it and pull it down what is it emergency supplies for a night like tonight
00:42:00you ready i guess okay all right ready okay i'm ready you go how just
00:42:10just throw a leg over yeah watch the okay yeah go i don't know you can do it i can't
00:42:16oh god
00:42:17come on you got it you got i don't i don't got it i can't i don't miss
00:42:23okay uh
00:42:26here i got something
00:42:36all right all right if you stand on that then climb on my shoulders then reach the rope and then
00:42:40pull it down you got it all right here we go all right yeah ready you know ready yep if
00:42:51you stand on it
00:42:54you can just reach it
00:42:59oh okay all right spot me
00:43:12okay okay okay what do we got what's in there
00:43:16now
00:43:20zombie repellent never leave home without it
00:43:25you did
00:43:26you did i was in handcuffs all right what else we got in here oh yes moonshine
00:43:37and how's that gonna help have you ever had moonshine
00:43:41no i'm not a good drinker a little bit of this and all your troubles melt away
00:43:49all right what else we got in here
00:43:55i thought i had more but i guess that's it great
00:44:04look there's just no such thing as zombies
00:44:07if you don't believe what you saw with your own lying eyes i don't know what to tell you
00:44:12all right so hypothetical let's say there are zombies
00:44:17how many are there could be hundreds they escape from the mines every now and then
00:44:28she's not here maybe she hitched a ride out of town no
00:44:35liz wouldn't just leave me here
00:44:39maybe you don't know her as well as you think you do
00:44:42i know everything about liz okay
00:44:47any man that says they know everything about a girlfriend probably doesn't how do you know
00:44:54because men are on a need-to-know basis
00:44:59um that may be you but that's not everybody everybody
00:45:04when you find her ask i will
00:45:07but don't go asking questions you don't want to know the answer to
00:45:11all right you don't want me to ask that's what it is
00:45:15you've been warned all right well prepared to be wronged
00:45:24what no reply to that ellie may i know where she might be where come on
00:45:33so what's the plan we're just gonna wait here i am
00:45:39there's two places we go when zombies are on the loose
00:45:42the river because zombies don't like water and the old church
00:45:47because zombies don't like church
00:45:50they don't like our church
00:45:53i have to get back to the house i'm not leaving with sunrises we don't know how many have escaped
00:46:01so we're just gonna wait here
00:46:03listen sweet pea i've been running from zombies before you were born
00:46:06if there's one thing i know is that
00:46:11oh my god
00:46:15oh my god
00:46:21oh
00:46:22oh
00:46:23Oh, Jesus. Okay.
00:46:41Die, zombie bitch.
00:46:46Looks like I got here just in time.
00:46:53Is that Carl?
00:46:56Maybe I could have got here a little sooner.
00:47:01Come on. Your boyfriend's looking for you.
00:47:05So this stuff really works?
00:47:07Not for you.
00:47:09It was empty.
00:47:13Chad's going to flip when he finds out what I was doing tonight.
00:47:17He's searching for you right now.
00:47:21He knows I'm gone?
00:47:23He's been out with Ellie Mae all night looking for you.
00:47:27Oh.
00:47:30I know that look.
00:47:33Ellie Mae's not a threat.
00:47:39She's pretty and I'm sure a lot of fun.
00:47:42That's true.
00:47:44But Chad's not her type.
00:47:50He doesn't seem like your type either.
00:47:54Everybody says that, but we just work together.
00:48:00Like yin and yang.
00:48:02I bet he fills all your holes.
00:48:06What?
00:48:07Oh, not like that.
00:48:09It's a saying.
00:48:11You know, if someone fills your shortcomings and you fill theirs,
00:48:15you make each other better.
00:48:21He fills my holes.
00:48:26You didn't say where we're going.
00:48:29How did you know Liz was the one you wanted to marry?
00:48:34I had this boyfriend once I was so in love with.
00:48:38I knew he was the one I was going to marry and have seven babies with.
00:48:42Seven?
00:48:42I mean, my aunt Susie had eight and it ruined her body, so seven's my limit.
00:48:48Anyway, every night he would drop me off and I would run upstairs and start planning our wedding.
00:48:54Every detail of it.
00:48:56My dress, the guest list, we were going to go on our honeymoon.
00:49:01It would have been perfect.
00:49:04What happened?
00:49:06He was walking home drunk one night on the tracks and got hit by a train.
00:49:12That's horrible.
00:49:13I thought so too.
00:49:15I first.
00:49:16And then I found out he was walking home from having sex with Jessica Penner.
00:49:21Well, he got what he deserved.
00:49:23Zombie deer, right?
00:49:25Turn it around! Turn it around!
00:49:29Took you long enough.
00:49:33We're going to church.
00:49:35What?
00:49:36You asked where we're going. Come on.
00:49:44Jesus.
00:49:49You religious?
00:50:00What's in the bag?
00:50:01Oh, it's Carl's emergency supplies.
00:50:05It's an empty can of zombie repellent and some of his moonshine.
00:50:11Really?
00:50:13Carl wasn't good for much but sleeping with other people's wives and making killer moonshine.
00:50:26Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
00:50:31Go on.
00:50:34It'll put some hair on your chest.
00:50:45Oh, wow.
00:50:52Oh!
00:50:54One more.
00:50:58I'm going to regret this.
00:51:00Moonshine regrets a whole different kind of regret.
00:51:03That's why we keep drinking it.
00:51:20I may have underestimated you, princess.
00:51:28Be a real shame.
00:51:30The zombie showed up right now.
00:51:31Stop!
00:51:34I'm trying to pee in peace.
00:51:38So what do you do for money?
00:51:42Opening a restaurant.
00:51:44Oh, we have one of those here.
00:51:46It's called the Country Kitchen.
00:51:48It was called Jim's Country Kitchen.
00:51:51But then Jim murdered somebody and went to jail.
00:51:54So they took his name out.
00:51:58Mine's a tiki bar.
00:52:00What's that?
00:52:01It's like a Hawaiian, Polynesian-themed bar.
00:52:05Good music and fun decorations.
00:52:08Just classic escapism.
00:52:10It sounds fun.
00:52:12Yeah.
00:52:13Liz isn't too thrilled about it, though.
00:52:16But she doesn't drink much.
00:52:18I never used to be a big drinker, either.
00:52:20And then I started doing a lot.
00:52:22Now I really like it.
00:52:25Now Liz, she takes more than one sip, and she gets really emotional.
00:52:31Then she throws up.
00:52:37I don't know if I can marry Chad.
00:52:42He's so wonderful.
00:52:45That's a good thing, right?
00:52:48No.
00:52:49That's not good.
00:52:53It's great.
00:52:56Then what's the problem?
00:52:59My friends, they...
00:53:02They...
00:53:05They...
00:53:06They...
00:53:08They don't like him?
00:53:10I think they like him better.
00:53:14What makes you think that?
00:53:16They told me.
00:53:19That doesn't mean...
00:53:22That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.
00:53:26It doesn't.
00:53:26You and me, we're the serious types.
00:53:31But we get shit done.
00:53:35But no one ever says thank you.
00:53:43You got that right.
00:53:51More zombies.
00:53:53I got it.
00:54:13Don't get too cocky.
00:54:14That's when they'll get you.
00:54:18You know...
00:54:21You're great and everything, but the fact that you don't have social media like Facebook
00:54:26or Instagram...
00:54:28I just don't think we're ever going to see each other again.
00:54:30You know?
00:54:33But, uh...
00:54:34I really hope you find your lose.
00:54:36You know?
00:54:38But I ain't lose a lose.
00:54:41Yeah.
00:54:42I meant more of like a...
00:54:46Significant other...
00:54:46Kind of thing.
00:54:47You know?
00:54:49I hope I do too.
00:54:50I hope I do too.
00:54:53Hear that?
00:55:07Liz!
00:55:08You need to get over here, big guy.
00:55:11Tell him.
00:55:25Are you okay?
00:55:27I'm scared.
00:55:30Because of zombies?
00:55:32I saw them too.
00:55:34No, I'm...
00:55:35I'm scared about getting married.
00:55:38I'm scared about having kids and buying a house and in the right school zone and...
00:55:47And then what if we don't work and we have to worry about custody and then...
00:55:52In retirement?
00:55:54Do you know how much it costs to retire?
00:55:58In college?
00:55:59Oh, shit.
00:56:01We should probably just have one kid.
00:56:02Because that costs so much.
00:56:05And I want to be supportive of your tea bar.
00:56:08But...
00:56:09Do you know how many bar restaurants go under?
00:56:14It's staggering.
00:56:18Honey, I'm scared about all those things too.
00:56:21Really?
00:56:23Yeah.
00:56:25Well, why aren't you freaking out?
00:56:27Why didn't you say anything?
00:56:31Because...
00:56:32We'll have each other.
00:56:35I know that together we can do anything.
00:56:52Honey, were you throwing up?
00:57:04My dress!
00:57:12Oh, thank God.
00:57:24Made some Tet N involve me!
00:57:28Oh, no!
00:57:31Liz!
00:57:33Help!
00:57:34Help!
00:57:35Help!
00:57:36Oh!
00:57:37Oh!
00:58:02Oh, my God.
00:58:18I'm sorry, Liz. You'll find another, even better wedding dress.
00:58:26Oh, no. Did you lose your ring?
00:58:32I'll find it.
00:58:34Wait.
00:58:37It's at Mrs. Powell's house.
00:58:41Are you sure?
00:58:43It's on the side table.
00:58:47So, what do you want to do?
00:58:51We're going to go get it.
00:58:54Okay. Bye!
00:58:55Hurry!
00:58:56Hurry!
00:59:04Hurry!
00:59:07Hurry!
00:59:17Hurry!
00:59:33It's not here.
00:59:35What do you mean it's not there?
00:59:36It's not here.
00:59:37Well, how is it going to be?
00:59:40I always put my ring on the nightstand when I take a shower.
00:59:46Okay.
00:59:46I, uh, was just your steps.
00:59:49What's the last thing you remember?
00:59:51I heard Mrs. Powell outside.
00:59:54I think she was dragging a body and cutting it up in the basement.
00:59:57A body?
00:59:59Why would you be cutting up a body?
01:00:03Fuck.
01:00:04You broke the house rules.
01:00:07I said lights out at nine.
01:00:13I think you actually said ten.
01:00:23You shouldn't have come back for your ring.
01:00:25I was getting worried that my little Jimmy wouldn't have enough to eat this week.
01:00:31But God brought you back to us.
01:00:34I fed him a few hours ago.
01:00:36But you already know that.
01:00:39Jimmy was my youngest and was churned when he was only 17.
01:00:43The sheriff found him and brought him back to me.
01:00:46It may be a few hours.
01:00:48But when he's hungry, he'll come for you.
01:00:54One more thing.
01:00:58In my basement, no one can hear you scream.
01:01:25No one can hear you scream.
01:01:27You know, if I'm gonna die, there's no one I'd rather die with.
01:01:32You know, if I'm gonna die, there's no one I'd rather die with.
01:01:32than you.
01:01:34Aw.
01:01:40Jack, please do something.
01:01:42I can't do anything.
01:01:43These are...
01:01:47I have an idea.
01:01:48What?
01:01:48It's gross.
01:01:50We have to spit on them.
01:01:51Oh, key.
01:01:54All right.
01:01:55All right.
01:01:58All right.
01:02:02All right.
01:02:07I don't know.
01:02:44I don't know.
01:02:45Not again.
01:02:54It's empty.
01:03:04What?
01:03:05What?
01:03:08Zombies are crippled by hairspray?
01:03:14Liz, I think we're being played.
01:03:18Why?
01:03:20For their own personal amusement.
01:03:23Why would anyone do that?
01:03:27I don't know.
01:03:28We're gonna find out.
01:03:44Hey!
01:03:47Can I help you?
01:03:48I want to talk with Tommy.
01:03:50Who?
01:03:51Tommy, the girl who works here?
01:03:54I'm the only one who works here.
01:03:56Well, she was working here yesterday.
01:03:59You must be thinking of someplace else.
01:04:09Hey.
01:04:10Hey.
01:04:12You.
01:04:20What the hell?
01:04:21How'd you walk?
01:04:23How'd you walk?
01:04:23I'm gonna go.
01:04:25Come on.
01:04:27Marceo.
01:04:29Wow.
01:04:31What a nice building.
01:04:32Give me the keys.
01:04:37where are you going going to get some answers come on oh
01:04:44how do you walk so fast
01:04:52please we can just walk into the house why what's gonna happen i'm gonna be arrested by a sheriff
01:04:58that doesn't exist what okay all i'm saying is that we should just be polite and just ask
01:05:10someone to happen are you insane
01:05:18liz why are you so mad
01:05:26what day is it
01:05:31sunday and what time
01:05:3810 37.
01:05:42and that doesn't mean anything to you
01:05:47are you hungry
01:05:51i don't know that's the problem we missed our own wedding
01:06:01but liz it's just the two of us we can get married anytime we want
01:06:08that's not the point you didn't even remember
01:06:19i mean to be fair there were zombies
01:06:25i just want to go home
01:06:34oh my god
01:06:35oh my god
01:06:36i have to look at my face
01:06:37i think it's like i
01:06:40what the
01:06:41what the fuck when we were down by the river and you were being eaten by the zombie and i
01:06:45saved her
01:06:45she was on the ground
01:06:47yeah that's carl
01:06:48are they making fun of us
01:06:50and i'm chewing the tobacco and i see her eye in a moment i said help yourself
01:07:06oh
01:07:07oh my god
01:07:08hi
01:07:09i had something on my face i just looked like i was gonna shoot her
01:07:11huh
01:07:12uh
01:07:12oh my god
01:07:14you people are horrible
01:07:17is this your idea of fun
01:07:19scaring people for sport
01:07:24chad
01:07:24do something
01:07:25what do you want me to do
01:07:31liz
01:07:36i'm sorry you didn't enjoy your experience
01:07:39but this is what you pay for
01:07:46liz
01:07:48i don't know why you're so upset
01:07:50i thought we did a really good job
01:07:53you're all crazy
01:08:00i know the site says no refunds
01:08:02but if you're this unhappy i'll go talk to everyone and see what we can do
01:08:10what the are you talking about
01:08:14charles and elsie extreme zombie experience
01:08:16booked and paid three months ago
01:08:19that's not even the same names
01:08:21you're not that far off
01:08:24well if you aren't charles and elsie
01:08:26where are they
01:08:29hey it's just a girl from work
01:08:32nobody from work sends me nudes
01:08:34this has never happened before
01:08:37do you even work at the garage
01:08:39what happened to all your tattoos
01:08:41no
01:08:42they were fake
01:08:44my real name is mary elizabeth
01:08:47i own the bakery on main street
01:08:50thomas is the morning radio guy over at wglc
01:08:54all country all day 100.1 wglc
01:09:00richard is the city attorney
01:09:03liz is a lovely girl by the way
01:09:06mrs powell is actually mrs powell
01:09:09i can never remember my fake name
01:09:11and barry was the sheriff
01:09:13he owns the sawmill down by the river
01:09:16liz speaks very highly of you
01:09:19so you're all just actors
01:09:22yeah
01:09:27okay
01:09:29where are you going
01:09:33we missed our wedding this morning
01:09:37and it's all my fault
01:09:39it doesn't even matter because
01:09:41it's too late
01:09:43so thanks
01:09:45hold on there son
01:09:47it's never too late
01:09:49this little hiccup shouldn't stop you from getting married
01:09:53look i think things are a bit beyond repair at this point
01:09:57you guys don't understand liz is perfect right she's smart she's funny she bought a bass guitar
01:10:04she doesn't play bass but she's gonna learn she writes handwritten birthday cards for people on their birthdays
01:10:11who does that
01:10:13it's a really nice thing to do
01:10:15i don't know
01:10:16i don't know what i know
01:10:17liz was my one in a million
01:10:20right
01:10:21and i blew it
01:10:23i have never seen her look at me the way that she did this morning
01:10:27i disappointed her in literally the worst way possible
01:10:33chadwick allen weber
01:10:37there's no one on the planet i would rather marry than you
01:10:43this girl loves you a lot
01:10:48you find the good in everyone in every situation
01:10:52i bet you're even starting to like these people
01:10:56oh yeah
01:10:58you know that clem has his own radio show
01:11:00did you think
01:11:01100.1 all country all day
01:11:08you're gonna make a great husband an amazing father
01:11:13i'd marry you anytime anywhere
01:11:17because there's nothing we can't do together
01:11:19right
01:11:20you know if you guys still want to get married today
01:11:23we can make that happen right
01:11:27my dress got ruined
01:11:31Gus went a little overboard out of the old church
01:11:35we can find you a dress
01:11:38really
01:11:40i suggest you get up there and give her a kiss before she changes her mind
01:11:49looks like we got some work to do here
01:12:16you may be seated
01:12:24howdy folks
01:12:27we're here today to maria elizabeth murray gamble
01:12:32and chadwick allen weber
01:12:35although new to our town
01:12:36an unfortunate misunderstanding has led to a shotgun wedding
01:12:41unlike others we've had no offense sarah and mike
01:12:46we're going to keep this short so we can get to the food
01:12:48chad
01:12:50do you take elizabeth to be your wife
01:12:54i do
01:12:55and elizabeth
01:12:57do you take chad to be your husband
01:13:00i do
01:13:01if anyone can show just cause why chad
01:13:06and liz may not be lawfully wed
01:13:08speak now or forever hold your peace
01:13:21larry
01:13:23it's over don't you check your phone
01:13:36sorry my phone is dead
01:13:37let's go
01:13:39sit down larry
01:13:47now we'll get to the good stuff
01:13:49i signed my name on a dotted line
01:13:53and it was good good good
01:13:56the cows got milk at supper time
01:14:02and it was good good good
01:14:05the moon twinkled high in the southern sky
01:14:10and it was good good good good
01:14:14now the honeymoon's over it just up and died
01:14:19but it was good good good
01:14:22all the good times and the bad
01:14:28the best times i ever had
01:14:32the choice between happy and sad
01:14:35all the good times and the bad
01:14:39and the bad
01:14:42liz
01:14:44she gets a little cranky
01:14:49late afternoon
01:14:51oh it's really coming down
01:14:54okay
01:14:58she writes handwritten birthday cards
01:15:02for people on their birthdays
01:15:04who does that she was my wolf
01:15:06fucking
01:15:09is this
01:15:11is this your idea
01:15:17i suggest you give go up there and give her a kiss before she changes
01:15:20and then they stead her all over the fucking place
01:15:22i'm sorry
01:15:23all right all right you're choking me a little bit
01:15:26i'm sorry
01:15:30that's too good
01:15:32sorry mosquito
01:15:35what
01:15:36every thursday the tables get out nope they don't they don't get out every thursday
01:15:44but when you get there it's just a big bunch oh my god
01:15:48it's fun and when you get there it's so take it back away yeah
01:15:57get out of here with um
01:16:02stop uh the devil
01:16:09it's soft and sweet and every pair of lips is a different color different color flavor
01:16:16no it's not and this man he always puts his head in the gator's mouth but then i think
01:16:37i want to be supportive of your tiki bar
01:16:45i don't know
01:17:03hello
01:17:03hello
01:17:06is it over
01:17:10are we done
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