00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:43CastingWords
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02:16You look...
02:17Twelve.
02:19I look like I'm twelve.
02:24I didn't even know this was possible.
02:27To regress this far, become a child.
02:29I'm still me.
02:31Just like when you changed.
02:34You were still you inside.
02:37Yeah, I know.
02:40We can't afford to be emotional right now.
02:43We don't have time to mess around with that.
02:45We need to move.
02:47Where?
02:48To stop them.
02:49I'm not just going to give up.
02:50Cooper, look at yourself.
02:52You'll trip over your goddamn trousers before you can even draw your gun.
02:56Give it to me.
02:57What?
02:57My gun.
02:59Let's go.
03:01Let's go.
03:03I won't stay like this.
03:07I'll grow up one day.
03:09Right?
03:16Well, maybe this is a gift, you know?
03:23Maybe you could just say, screw it and start your life again from scratch.
03:29Knowing everything that you do now, that would be a gift, right?
03:53Tequila, please.
03:55I just need to...
03:55You got it.
03:57Your boyfriend got a poopy diaper?
03:59Fuck you.
04:02I'm sorry.
04:04I really am.
04:05Here you go, man.
04:06I just find this all inexplicable and fucking terrifying.
04:11So I joke.
04:16How is he?
04:19He's tired and wanted to lay down for a bit.
04:25He doesn't have any pubic hair.
04:27Less thing to worry about?
04:28I don't know, man.
04:30I'm blaming him.
04:30This shit can't be permanent, right?
04:32Just stop asking me shit like that, okay?
04:33How the fuck am I supposed to know?
04:35Calm down.
04:35Calm down.
04:36We have to strategize.
04:41Are we still going for it?
04:46Fuck yes, we are.
04:48We just need to get our shit together and move.
04:51Right.
04:52Then what the fuck is the plan?
04:57They say we call Diana, get his location,
05:01use her and his wife, who apparently hates him, to breach access.
05:06Then he slit his fucking throat.
05:09Stop this.
05:10Stop what happened to us.
05:11And now Coop, who's been dealt the most fucked up hand of all.
05:15How does that sound?
05:17Yeah, fuck with that.
05:18God, I love it when a plan comes together.
05:26Obesity and advanced diabetes were threatening my life and my legs.
05:30I was told amputation was in my future.
05:33But not anymore.
05:35Thanks to the beauty,
05:38I'm living my best life.
05:43No, no, no, no, no.
05:46Wait, I thought this shit wasn't dropping till tomorrow.
05:49Curse by my family genes.
05:51Until now.
05:55What is this?
06:08We're too late.
06:13No need to control the doctor.
06:15Protector booster are approved for everyone.
06:17Need help cleaning up your gooey sock?
06:18Or a soothing voice to hold you through those beautiful sweats?
06:22Visit the beauty website to find the package that's right for you.
06:53Don't do it.
06:55It's fine
06:57You told me you needed another week to heal. I need to see my new fucking nose
07:03Go outside if you're gonna be such a Karen
07:06Oh god, I can't
07:13Does it hurt? Yes, it fucking hurts. What the fuck?
07:19Are you okay?
07:21Look at this
07:24It looks great. This is not a Kendall Jenner
07:27I showed that fucking butcher like 50 classic k-gen shots and this this is what the best in Montclair
07:32comes up with for seven fucking grand
07:34Do you know how many summers I saved up for this? How can you even tell with all the swelling
07:38and the bruising?
07:39You remember in second grade I broke my collarbone. We both thought I was gonna be lopsided for life update.
07:45I'm not
07:47Stop why it's already fucked up
07:50No curve
07:55I
07:55No point
08:01All I see is my fucking dad
08:03No one wants to make out with a chick with the face of a fucking contractor
08:05Relax, you're gonna make it worse
08:10I
08:10Look I'm not insane
08:13I
08:13Let go of our vote cover dreams long long ago
08:17But like
08:20This was all part of a plan
08:22I
08:23I only applied to out of state schools for a reason
08:25I can't continue the next stage of my life being the same sad tomboy rookie with a big fucking beak
08:32I
08:33I need to launch a new version of me
08:38A beautiful me
08:41I feel it too
08:42I feel it too
08:43You know how hard it is for me to find genes that give my ass a boost and hide my
08:47extra squish
08:52But you are more than your nose
08:55You are amazing and you will do amazing things no matter what
09:01You are beautiful
09:03God
09:06God
09:08Fuck
09:09One second
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11:07I'm gonna kill you all!
11:11What the hell just happened?
11:13Tina and Castle just whooped Kellyannegan's ass.
11:16Tina with the front butt and training bra?
11:18She got the shot.
11:20She got the beauty.
11:22What?
11:25She's stunning.
11:29Yeah.
11:30And that side is called the hypotenuse.
11:33To find that you use a simple little formula called the Pythagorean theorem.
11:37Which of course as you can see on the board is a squared plus b squared equals c squared.
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11:53Hold him so he doesn't hurt his head.
11:55This is epilepsy.
12:01Grab his feet.
12:02He took something. What did he take?
12:05No, he took something. What did he take?
12:07Nothing, I swear.
12:08You can't help him if you don't tell me you're his best friend.
12:12He told me he got the shot this morning.
12:14This is the beauty?
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17:54Only 5% of cases so far
17:56That's nothing the odds of me getting hit by a bus are higher
17:58Okay, that's not what I'm hearing
17:59And even 5%
18:017%
18:03Is that a risk that you want to take?
18:04If I got a 95 on my research paper you guys would be shitting yourself with happiness
18:08Okay, that's enough
18:09It's thousands of dollars that we don't have
18:13And neither do you
18:14End of discussion
18:15You guys don't think I can get 5, 10 grand?
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22:40Did it hurt?
22:41No.
22:42Isn't that so weird?
22:43I kept waiting for it to hurt and it just never did.
22:46And I don't know if that's because I was with Connor and I was like totally smitten on him,
22:50or maybe I'm just used to it now because of all the stupid COVID stuff,
22:53but I seriously would have let Connor stab me like a thousand times if he wanted to.
22:59Well said.
23:02Follow me to your no harm experience.
23:06After that they took me to this room, right?
23:10Sure.
23:10Totally normal.
23:11Except there was no furniture.
23:16Just floor to ceiling cashmere padding.
23:19Oh my god.
23:20It like looked and felt like heaven.
23:22I'm telling you, Bo.
23:23This place was fucking legit.
23:25We're gonna be right here.
23:27And as if Connor wasn't enough to keep me happy,
23:30in walks another hottie.
23:32And I started sweating.
23:33Because of the guy.
23:34Well that's what I thought.
23:35Turns out that's just the beginning of the treatment.
23:37Just relax.
23:38We've got you.
23:48They said it took like three hours,
23:49but because they spritzed my dose with some kind of like benzo,
23:52I was able to just sleep right through it.
24:12So.
24:21So.
24:22So.
24:23So.
24:33So.
24:37So.
24:39So.
24:43I just went in, took a little nap, I woke up three hours later, and I looked like this.
24:55Wow, how does it feel?
24:59Incredible, but also, like, super weird.
25:02I don't know, it's hard to explain.
25:04You just have to experience it for yourself.
25:07It's like magic.
25:10Wait, I gotta show you these.
25:21Oh, wait, look at this one.
25:23You look hot.
25:24Yeah, I am hot.
25:25I know.
25:27Yeah, that's me.
25:28That's also me.
25:29Oh my god, I'm dead.
25:30Looks like you finally got that reboot you always talked about.
25:33I know.
25:34And just in time, too.
25:35Like, fuck nose jobs and thread lifts.
25:38This is how you start college.
25:40Like, I get to go in there, the best version of me.
25:45And I don't know about Northwestern.
25:47Like, maybe I need to go somewhere else.
25:49Somewhere beachier and, like, sexier.
25:52Like, Miami.
25:53Or even, like, Hawaii.
25:55Yeah, but you want to be a journalist.
25:58That's why you're going there.
25:59Things are different now.
26:02And I think I want to be a model.
26:05Wow.
26:07Wow.
26:08What do you think?
26:09Look, um, I am insanely jealous, obviously.
26:16And I'm very excited for you.
26:19It's just, um, when you're off in Paris running around on photo shoots and stuff, just don't
26:27forget about me.
26:28What are you talking about?
26:29Oh, you're literally going to be there with me.
26:33You think I would do this and not think about you?
26:36How long have we been best friends?
26:38Forever.
26:39Duh.
26:44When I was leaving, Connor stopped me.
26:47You're one of the lucky ones.
26:49This experience isn't attainable or affordable for most.
26:51But there is another way for people to at least get a dose.
26:56So if you know of anyone, I can help.
27:09You said you can help people that can't get it the normal way?
27:18What do you think?
27:19Is it legal?
27:22Is it legal?
27:23Okay.
27:23Sorry.
27:25So what's your holdup?
27:27Did anyone say anything about side effects?
27:30Um, yeah.
27:31They did mention, like, a tidal wave of hot dick.
27:34And you'll probably get asked to prom, like, way more times than you can go.
27:37Be so for real.
27:39Is there anything crazy that could happen?
27:41No.
27:42Like, dying.
27:43No.
27:44They did not warn me that I might die.
27:46Okay?
27:47If you want, I can ask when I go get my booster.
27:50And you have to get boosters for life.
27:51Like, what happens if I stop taking one?
27:54What happens if my dad stops taking his Lipidor?
27:56Or his Lexapro?
27:58You want to talk about side effects?
28:00This is what was best for me.
28:01And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:06Call him.
28:25And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:25And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:26And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:26And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:26And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:27And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:28And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:56Transcription by CastingWords
29:26Transcription by CastingWords
29:55Transcription by CastingWords
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