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Taskmaster - S19E02 - An Invisible Jump Rope [Full Movie] [Latest Version]Full EP - Full
Transcript
00:02This was a mistake!
00:04Shut up!
00:14You're mad.
00:16Wow.
00:32APPLAUSE
00:34Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:36I'm Greg Davison. I suit things.
00:39I suit this throne. I suit this suit.
00:41I suit the title of Taskmaster and I suit the power it affords me.
00:46What can I say? I suit things.
00:48I suit boots. I suit fruits. I suit flutes.
00:51And once I was in cahoots with some mute-newts about a car boot in beaut.
00:56Proof, if it was needed, that the writing of these introductions
01:00is becoming increasingly challenging.
01:02No matter, let's take the focus off me
01:05and train the glaring, judgmental super trooper
01:08into the frightened eyes of some human bunnies.
01:11Please welcome...
01:13Fattier El Ghori!
01:16Jason Mandzukas!
01:18Matthew Baker!
01:21Rosie Ramsey!
01:23And Stevie Martin!
01:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:29And next to me, a man whose hobbies include bird spotting,
01:33writing songs and his absolute favourite,
01:36having extra marital affairs.
01:38LAUGHTER
01:39Hello, little Elector!
01:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44Hey, everyone.
01:47Let's get on with the prize tax.
01:49APPLAUSE
01:49And the category this week is...
01:52The snootiest thing.
01:54Ooh!
01:55There will be five points for the snootiest,
01:58one point for the least snooty,
01:59and the episode winner will go home with some really juicy snooty booty.
02:02Greg, honey, take it away!
02:04Stevie, have you got some snooty booty?
02:06Yes.
02:07There are, like, canvases you can get made of your pet,
02:11erm, and I got one made of my pet.
02:15Here is a picture of Stevie's pet.
02:17It's on my wall in my kitchen.
02:19LAUGHTER
02:21There she is!
02:25And I don't think they've done a tortoise before,
02:28so, like, the neck is very bent at a weird angle.
02:31Where is it there?
02:32And where's the shell?
02:33How did they get her in the uniform?
02:35LAUGHTER
02:36They're so...
02:37Americans are so naive, aren't they?
02:40LAUGHTER
02:41And is that her actual rank?
02:43LAUGHTER
02:46OK, cool!
02:49OK.
02:49Fatih, you all right?
02:50Yeah, I'm all right, how are you?
02:51Pretty good.
02:52What have you brought in?
02:54My snooty prize is Swiss chocolate.
02:57Here is the bar of Swiss chocolate she's put up.
02:59The snootiest of all the chocolates.
03:01Yeah.
03:01Ooh!
03:03Yeah, exactly.
03:04See how snooty, look at that.
03:05Yeah.
03:06But if you look at the chocolate adverts,
03:08the Swiss ones are so extra,
03:10they've got a little chef and a little hat,
03:12and he's like, ho, ho, ho, ho.
03:15Oh, the old French Swiss chef.
03:18And he's all doing that, and they're like,
03:21and there's all this music,
03:23and they live in a...
03:24They've got a nice kitchen.
03:25Yeah, they do.
03:27They do.
03:28It's ridiculous.
03:29So you bought a bar of chocolate in, yeah?
03:31Yeah.
03:32Jason, what's snooty in America?
03:34Here's the thing.
03:35This was actually very hard for me,
03:37because in America, snootiness is not a really thing,
03:40so I kind of was at a bit of a loss
03:43to come up with a snooty thing,
03:44but I had a good idea.
03:46I asked my butler what he thought.
03:49Jeffreys, get out here.
03:51Oh, nice.
03:52Come on!
03:53Let's go, let's go!
03:57As my butler, Mr. Jeffreys,
03:59asked him what was snooty, because he's British,
04:01and he had a great idea.
04:02Show him what you got under there.
04:02Open it up, come on.
04:04Yes.
04:05Butler for a day.
04:06So, if you win this prize,
04:08he'll come and he'll buttle for you for the whole day.
04:11Wow.
04:12That is one snooty prize.
04:14Right?
04:14Want a round of applause for Mr. Jeffreys?
04:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:20I have brought in the Oppidons cap
04:24from The Wall Game at Eton College.
04:27Here it is.
04:29Oh, my God, that's so snooty, I don't even understand it.
04:32What is it?
04:32The Wall Game is only played one day of the year,
04:37St Andrew's Day,
04:38and it's only played at Eton College,
04:41the snootiest of all the schools.
04:43Did you go there?
04:44No.
04:45How did you get a cap?
04:46I acquired it from a friend.
04:49Is your friend Tom Hiddleston,
04:51Hugh Fernley Whittingstool,
04:53Bear Grylls,
04:53or Alan Shearer?
04:54All alumni.
04:56And it must be one of those.
04:57Hang on, Alan Shearer?
04:58Alan Shearer?
04:59I didn't believe in either when I wrote it.
05:00Wow!
05:00He made it!
05:02LAUGHTER
05:09Can you give us a vague idea of the rules?
05:11As far as I can tell,
05:12it's a rugby scrum up against the wall.
05:15And where does the snooty hat come in?
05:17That's the hat that the Oppidons team wear.
05:20The Oppidons?
05:21Yes.
05:22It's so snooty.
05:24So snooty.
05:24It's beyond language, isn't it?
05:26Very posh.
05:27Rosie?
05:28My snootiest thing is a red wine decanter.
05:31I believe that you've started to drop your north-east accent to introduce this.
05:34Sorry, what?
05:36I don't know what you're talking about.
05:38If Alan Shearer went to Ethan then, so did I.
05:41LAUGHTER
05:41I brought a red wine decanter.
05:43Yeah, OK.
05:43Here it is.
05:44Because not many people have these.
05:45I go to friends' houses and they just pour me red wine out of a bottle.
05:50LAUGHTER
05:50And I think, you haven't got a decanter.
05:54LAUGHTER
05:54Have you got a decanter?
05:56I've got three.
05:58LAUGHTER
05:59OK, well, that is everyone great.
06:01It's really tricky, actually, because one of them I don't understand.
06:04Still.
06:05I remember the Swiss chefs are making their chocolates in kitchens.
06:10LAUGHTER
06:13I'm trying to work out who I'm going to give one point to.
06:16Not me!
06:16It's going to be the chocolate or the decanter,
06:18but I just can't work out which is the least snooty.
06:21You can buy Swiss chocolate in any shop.
06:23You can, like in a supermarket.
06:24Yeah, no, but you can make a decanter.
06:26All I have to do is get a plastic bottle and chop the top.
06:29That's a decanter.
06:31LAUGHTER
06:32I won't have it!
06:33I won't have it!
06:35I won't have it!
06:36Swiss chocolate is made in Switzerland.
06:38Switzerland!
06:39LAUGHTER
06:40And that, my friend, is the final nail in the coffin.
06:43LAUGHTER
06:45One point to the chocolate.
06:47One point to the chocolate?
06:48Yeah.
06:50Rosie's decanter.
06:51Two points.
06:52OK.
06:52We'll have the hired butler with three points.
06:54OK.
06:55I love the snooty tortoise.
06:57Right.
06:57And Matthew's thing is so snooty, I still don't know what it is.
07:01It's got to be the snootiest thing.
07:02So, five points to Matthew.
07:03There you go.
07:04Well done.
07:04APPLAUSE
07:08Half time!
07:09Oh, yes, it is.
07:11And just like Dr Dre, we're going down to the lab to lay down some cool tracks
07:15and generally have a really nice time while we're there.
07:17MUSIC PLAYS
07:28Hi.
07:29Hi.
07:31Hello.
07:32Hi, Jason.
07:34What's up?
07:35Welcome to the booth.
07:37This is good.
07:38This makes me feel a bit at home.
07:40Commentate on yourself achieving something really tricky.
07:44Then achieve that really tricky thing.
07:47Most iconic really tricky thing achieved wins.
07:51You have five minutes to record your commentary.
07:54Then 15 minutes to achieve that really tricky thing.
07:59RTT is what I'm going to abbreviate it for from now on.
08:02Your time starts now.
08:04You're going to commentate on yourself as if you're watching yourself on that telly.
08:08Right.
08:08But you're commentating on your future self.
08:10Ooh.
08:11So whatever you describe, you've then got to do.
08:13I've got to do.
08:14But it's got to be really tricky and iconic.
08:15What tricky things can you do?
08:17I'm thinking about escapology, but I mean...
08:22I can't actually do that.
08:25LAUGHTER
08:27Can you do anything tricky?
08:29I was going to just lie down.
08:32APPLAUSE
08:36So, RTT, I enjoyed that abbreviation.
08:38I like an abbreviation, do you?
08:39You do.
08:39You do.
08:40You do.
08:42He does.
08:43Let's see some tricky stuff.
08:44So, they had to commentate on themselves doing a really tricky thing
08:47before they did the really tricky thing.
08:49Stevie and Rosie are up first, i.e. are the last two letters of their names.
08:54And remember, they chose to do these things.
08:58OK, the moment we've all been waiting for.
09:00Here she is, Mrs Rosemary Ramsey.
09:03We've been waiting for this all year.
09:05She's making her way into the dome.
09:07Now, you may not know this at home, but Rosie has a very, very special way
09:10of getting ready for the competition.
09:13If you've seen her before, you'll know.
09:14There she is.
09:15What she likes to do, well, you're going to see in a minute.
09:17She likes to have a little sniff of the air.
09:19Yeah.
09:19Good old scratch of the genitals.
09:21Yeah.
09:22From and back.
09:23Oh, that's a new one.
09:24That's a new one.
09:24She's never done the back before.
09:26All right, she is ready for this competition.
09:27OK, OK, and it's coming.
09:29Yes, there it is.
09:30There it is.
09:31Every time.
09:31This is what she does.
09:32Projectile vomiting.
09:34Here she is.
09:35Martin.
09:36Stepping up to the plate.
09:38Is she behind the line?
09:39Yes.
09:40Quick check.
09:41She's behind the line.
09:43She bends.
09:44She has a few bends.
09:46I think that's too many bends.
09:48Ah, sick from Martin there.
09:50Alex looking pretty frightened.
09:53Here we go.
09:54She's ready for the question.
09:57The adjudicator is ready.
09:59All right, there we go.
10:00Nine times nine.
10:02Come on, Rosie, you can do this.
10:04She's getting her fingers out.
10:05Sadly, Rosie didn't do very well at school.
10:07So she's going to use the tactic that she was taught in year five maths.
10:11This is it.
10:12This is it.
10:13Come on.
10:13Come on.
10:14Come on.
10:14We're ready.
10:15Come on.
10:15What is it?
10:15What is it?
10:16You know this.
10:1881.
10:2081.
10:21She's done it.
10:21She's done it.
10:22She's done it.
10:2581.
10:26Oh, she's vomiting.
10:27It's okay.
10:29No, she's going to have nothing left.
10:30Well done, Rosie.
10:31Brilliant.
10:31Brilliant.
10:32Brilliant.
10:32She's flexing.
10:34She's flexing.
10:35She's flexing her arms.
10:36And you can see her flexing her arms.
10:38She's going.
10:38And she's off.
10:39She's off.
10:39She's over.
10:40And she's headed it right into the top corner.
10:43Let's see that again.
10:44I'm presuming there's a free play.
10:48Yes!
10:57Yes!
10:58Yes!
10:59Yes!
10:59Yes!
10:59Yes!
10:59Yes!
10:59Yes!
10:59Yes!
10:59Yes!
10:59Yes!
11:01Yes!
11:01She's trying to get an intense celebration there from Martin.
11:04Ah!
11:05She's doing a forward roll!
11:06Ah, her and Alex high-fiving.
11:08Ah!
11:10Not to see it.
11:18What is this sport?
11:21So I've never done a leapfrog before, so I wanted to do that.
11:26I've also never scored a goal, so I thought I could do both simultaneously, and crucially,
11:30While I was in the air. I thought that would be quite tricky. I mean you landed perfectly on his
11:34back
11:37But it was genuine impressive now Rosie. Yeah as far as I can work out the sport is
11:43Tricky numbers. Yes. Well, that's the way you might describe it. I mean literally what I saw was a woman
11:51touch her privates
11:53On the back. Yeah, you vomited. Yes, you did a rudimentary math some
12:01Tricky numbers
12:03Classic RTT
12:05The trick of the nine times tables on your hands. I mean, I think probably everyone in the room can
12:10do this
12:11Let's see how fast you are seven nines
12:1463
12:15Must be another one. But I'm not impressed
12:19You can't go over nine for this system, so I can't say eleven nines
12:23Oh
12:26Okay, time for a break. Here we are Alex. That's it. Good boy
13:00Good boy
13:02Bainton
13:03I can record two commentaries so that I've got a backup
13:08Today we get to see the magnificent athlete Fatia al-Ghori fly a plane through the taskmaster dome
13:15And here comes Bainton with the iconic 19 best
13:20Let me warm up
13:21Ready to take on the really tricky thing of
13:26Keepyuppies with a tennis ball
13:30He's got funnily enough 19 to beat to take home the goal
13:37And in our hand we see A4 white paper
13:40So this looks very tricky because she's got really little fingers
13:44We're very worried that she might get a paper cut
13:46But she's been working with Andy Murray's coach
13:49And at this point it's almost certain that he's done
13:54Ten keepyuppies
13:56Nine that time
13:58No!
13:5920 keepyuppies
14:0330 keepyuppies
14:06Iconic
14:07And here we go, any minute now
14:09Here we go, here we go, here we go
14:10Oh, and there it is
14:12Well done Fenton, she is the best
14:19Can we go closer?
14:20Good idea
14:21This is your 50th attempt
14:22People will say, don't pick something you can't do
14:25But this has to be really tricky
14:27And I think I've proved that
14:29Where are the grapes?
14:30She's rocking a little bit
14:32And she's gonna throw it any second now
14:34And it's gone in through the dome
14:37I mean I didn't doubt her
14:38But I was a little bit sceptical
14:41Magnificent athlete
14:42And here comes Bainton
14:44To try
14:46An attempt
14:47The record
14:49For the highest thrown
14:50And caught in the mouth
14:52Grape
14:53Oh, that first attempt
14:55Didn't play out
14:57And there's no rules
14:58About how many attempts you're allowed
15:00So that's fine
15:02Oh, he's really slung
15:04That one is...
15:04Oh, he's caught it!
15:08Unbelievable scenes!
15:11That's a really tricky thing!
15:13That's a really tricky thing!
15:15Iconic!
15:15Thank you!
15:20With the wisdom of hindsight
15:21Knowing how good you are at keeping uppies
15:23Was 19 the right goal to set yourself?
15:26I thought with a football wouldn't be that impressive
15:29It wouldn't look like an RTT
15:31So I went...
15:32Thank you!
15:33I went tennis ball and I overestimated my ability
15:38But...
15:38The great thing
15:40Different story
15:41But was it an RTT?
15:43He did it on his second go
15:44But it was as high as the...
15:45But it was high
15:46Yes, iconic is what we're looking for
15:48I think it's strong
15:49OK
15:49I thought yours was good as well
15:51Don't play me
15:52I'm not playing
15:54Lovely attention to detail
15:55Andy Murray's coach
15:57He's jumped over from tennis, why not?
16:01How did you feel about the first attempt?
16:04Awful!
16:05But the second?
16:06I mean, I was surprised by how excited I was
16:09You want to see someone else?
16:11Yeah!
16:11It's time for the handsome stranger from overseas
16:14Yes, it's Jason Manzoukas
16:15Ooh!
16:17And here we are back again at Taskmaster Sports
16:20Up next, Jason Manzoukas
16:22He's exiting the Taskmaster house with undue confidence
16:26But can he achieve an iconic tricky thing?
16:30We don't know
16:30Alex Horne is following him behind
16:32Wondering what exactly is Jason Manzoukas up to?
16:35Oh!
16:36Oh!
16:37He's getting on top of the hunch
16:38Manzoukas is
16:39He's got a ladder
16:40He's got a ladder
16:42And he's trying to get it onto the roof
16:44I've said it, so it is happening
16:46He's starting to scale the roof
16:48Alex Horne is freaking out
16:51Never before in Taskmaster history has anybody gotten onto the roof
16:54But American comedian Jason Manzoukas is going to be the first person in history
16:59Oh! Alex Horne is on the phone
17:00Alex is shutting it down
17:02Alex is shutting down the most iconic, really tricky thing that's ever been attempted
17:07Jason Manzoukas is now being pulled off of the roof by a bunch of people dressed just like him?
17:14Is this what he makes them do?
17:17Huh?
17:17I'm being told that Jason Manzoukas makes everyone in the crew dress exactly like him when he's shooting
17:22So that everybody knows what it feels like to be great
17:25His words?
17:27Not mine
17:27Well, they've got him down
17:29He's safe
17:30But the really tricky thing has not been achieved
17:33Another failure for Jason Manzoukas
17:36What a piece of shit
17:44Nailed it
17:45Sure
17:46Full-throated commentary
17:48Oh, yeah
17:48Lot of excitement from you
17:50Did you...
17:53BOOM
17:54BOOM
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18:35BOOM
18:36BOOM
18:36you
18:39you
18:4025.
18:4426.
18:4427.
18:4827.
18:5029.
18:5832.
19:10I think it's a good thing.
19:18This is a good thing.
19:19This is a good thing.
19:21I think it's a good thing.
19:27I think it's a good thing.
19:30What about you?
19:413.
19:45aula
19:451.a
19:51Það
19:52Það
20:09Þaðbrar
20:10What is it?
20:13What is it?
20:17It's quite a bit to be a bit.
20:19We'll have a handful of kleinen fulgurs.
20:21I'll show you how it is.
20:21What is it?
20:22I'll show you how the story is.
20:26What is it?
20:32I'll show you how it's been.
20:34I'll show you how it says
20:36Hi, how are you?
20:37What are you talking about?
20:40What is it?
20:40What is it?
20:46I have a question of questions!
20:47What is it?
20:50What are you doing?
20:54Oh, don't buy it!
21:01A littleрет!
21:02What is he.
21:04What would he say.
21:07When you were chasing.
21:09How would he be driving?
21:12Hey!
21:13And I got it.
21:33Who has done this job?
21:37Maybe she is there too.
21:42Why are you still dealing with her wife?
21:48I have to tell her and she is still looking for health and health.
21:50How are we still doing this job today?
21:53What's the job today?
21:55How do you do this job today?
21:57How do you do this job today?
21:59How are you doing this job today?
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