- 9 hours ago
Bait S01E03-4 (2026) [Full Movie] [Vertical Drama]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:10I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me, because it's Eid, so I've
00:14got to stick with family.
00:14Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to do what the shiz long
00:18you created.
00:18Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and routine.
00:22I reckon it will help them visualize me as Bond.
00:25Okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy, other people think you're insane.
00:28This could cost you the role.
00:30Oh, fuck.
00:34Saju, how many of you are doing this?
00:36Mommy, have you met Felicia?
00:37This is the team.
00:38Oh, this is your agent.
00:42Mommy, remember I said to wait in a car and I'm going to get the suite?
00:45No, don't give me the suite.
00:48Felicia.
00:48Zafika.
00:49Farron.
00:50Same as you, just babysitting Bond.
00:52Well, now only auntie's waiting for you.
00:53It's very disgraceful.
00:54Felicia, you're going to get him the job.
00:56Yes.
00:57If he kills me.
00:59Shaji is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:01Okay.
01:01When he was a little boy, he used to say, Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shaji?
01:06Oh, how specific?
01:07I don't remember that.
01:08Yeah.
01:10Oh, look, he's got the mid-time.
01:11I'll just be a minute, okay?
01:12Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:13Bye, I'm so sorry.
01:14You don't know if you're a black lady.
01:20Sorry.
01:21You are a black lady.
01:22I know.
01:26What the fuck is this?
01:27You tell me.
01:34Oh, you know what?
01:35I can't get into this right now.
01:36Okay, listen, none of this, none of this matters, okay?
01:39No one reads the fucking news.
01:40However, this is a big problem.
01:44The person you assaulted, you broke his arm and now he wants an apology.
01:47Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head, but now he's coming for you with 200,000
01:51followers and counting, young and brown, your core fan base.
01:55Assaulted?
01:56This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
01:59It was a kind of straight pain, Shah.
02:01Yeah, you know what I'd say.
02:02I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:04Okay, fine, just give him his apology.
02:05Okay, good.
02:05All right, so how are you going to do?
02:07Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:09On a video by end of day or he's pressing charges.
02:12Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:14My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:16That's on me.
02:17I can't be dealing with this.
02:18I have to be with the fan today.
02:19I have to make it right.
02:20This is about your career, Shah.
02:22Your credibility in your community for the people that you see are doing all of this for.
02:30Is it your most followers of me?
02:31Shah!
02:33I'm Shah Latif here.
02:35Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
02:37I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
02:40You might have heard about it or seen it.
02:42Well, I lived it.
02:43And I want you to know that in that moment, I wasn't thinking at all.
02:46I was acting out of sheer instinct.
02:50Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
02:54And I would never take it for granted.
02:56And there's nothing more painful to me than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own
03:00community.
03:01And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way, hurts me deeply.
03:06You good, yeah?
03:07Yeah, I'm good, yeah.
03:10So, you've come to visit us lonely villagers.
03:14Oxford educated.
03:15But no sense.
03:17Why did you attack that young man?
03:18Don't listen to him.
03:19Come, let's take a selfie.
03:22And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make up for it
03:26and to make it right.
03:29Should have won black.
03:31It would go better with the animal witch's gold palace.
03:36Eve is my day.
03:37It belongs to all Muslims.
03:38But me.
03:39It's mine.
03:40And she took it.
03:41You know one thing she doesn't have?
03:43What?
03:44Her son, Salim, you know, golden boy.
03:48I stood to buy a big shot.
03:50Always trying to compete with you.
03:52Bad shot.
03:53Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
03:55Don't talk, Felty.
03:59Orbital?
04:00She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:03Even me can be the stars of the show.
04:05We just...
04:06Come on.
04:08You worried about what Norti Naila thinks?
04:09Nangi Naila.
04:10Nangi Naila.
04:13She always shows skin because she's got no style.
04:16Where is she?
04:17She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror to come host her own party.
04:34Samina.
04:35He's Mubarak.
04:36He's Mubarak.
04:38So happy you could come.
04:40So we decided to co-host this year.
04:42This part of you, Kamal, did you, Tahira?
04:44But you know Naila, how do you deal with her?
04:47She doesn't have to deal with her.
04:48She doesn't have to deal with her.
04:49She doesn't have to do the decoration.
04:50She's a penthouse.
04:53The Quran says charity is a blessing.
04:55Please eat it in the garden.
04:57Eid Mubarak.
04:59Eid Mubarak.
05:05Eid Mubarak.
05:06Eid Mubarak.
05:07Thanks for coming.
05:09Hello, ladies.
05:10Eid Mubarak.
05:11Eid Mubarak.
05:13Eid Mubarak.
05:13Eid Mubarak.
05:14Eid Mubarak.
05:16Insane seat.
05:17Now he has passed, you are the eldest.
05:19No, thank you, I am fine standing.
05:22Baba, go your favor.
05:23Don't tell him on the air.
05:24Is that how you are going to kill us, Bond?
05:26By raising the blood sugar?
05:29Yeah, I will mention that to the writers.
05:31Maybe that's enough.
05:34Maybe, yeah, maybe.
05:35Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
05:36Something with my Khan in it.
05:38No, no, you are going to say Guru Vidra.
05:54Sure, good first try, good first try.
05:57But I am going to need you to do another apology video.
06:00First, you forgot to say the words, I am sorry.
06:02Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:04He is buff, no?
06:05Keith says he is going mental.
06:07Yes, fucking heart.
06:08Sorry, can you mum focus, please?
06:10This is the latest.
06:12Well, this guy likes you.
06:17Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood suite shop,
06:20it's their community like ten times.
06:23It feels like you're begging it.
06:24Maybe down the brow.
06:26I don't get it, what is a problem?
06:27I'm 22.
06:28It's tough, man, I'm 22, mate.
06:30What were you trying to get wife-ed up?
06:32Get it to me sooner rather than later.
06:34This is not going away.
06:36Hi, everyone, Charlotte Eiff here.
06:38Now, last night at the King's Museum,
06:40a brother and I came into conflict.
06:42Now, I should not have reacted the way that I did.
06:46And the brother in question, perhaps,
06:48should not have run at me with a metal object
06:50the way that he did.
06:52Nuba is a community-led...
06:54It's not fucking community-led.
06:56The fact is, we're all in this together.
06:58And in the future, I promise to use my platform
07:00not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:04Bro.
07:05Nuba is full.
07:07You want some chai or something?
07:10No.
07:10Nuba.
07:11Bro, we good?
07:12I'm good, are you good?
07:13Yeah, I'm good, bro, we good.
07:15I'm good, are you good?
07:16Yeah, I'm good.
07:16I'm good, then.
07:18Nuba, not Nuba.
07:19What are you doing?
07:19I'm trying to focus, man.
07:20You are distracting me.
07:22All right.
07:23Yes.
07:23Yo, they got them little laddus over there
07:25with the pink and green balls on them.
07:26You want them?
07:26Big man, please.
07:27I don't want laddus right now, okay?
07:29I just want to concentrate.
07:30Aren't you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:33Shit.
07:34In a bit, yeah?
07:35Don't bring me no laddus.
07:36We'll go forward.
07:37Oh, child.
07:39Leave the baby.
07:40Oh, child.
07:42Hey.
07:44Yeah, I know.
07:44It's only gone.
07:45It's only gone.
07:45You came in there?
07:46Where have you been?
07:47I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
07:49Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
07:51So if I just die standing here alone...
07:54Please, please don't do this now.
07:55You left me.
07:56I'm sorry.
07:57I'm making up.
07:58Merah, Selim!
07:58Merah, Selim are running.
08:04Selim!
08:06My son!
08:09Selim!
08:14Selim!
08:16Selim!
08:37Look, Mr. Dubai, look at him the dancing monkey doing his mother's dirty bidding, making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
08:45Look, now he's not, mummy. That was a joke I just made.
08:49Oh, look at that fresh prey. Zulfi, weakest of us all.
08:56don't leave shahju she's coming don't leave can i borrow your mommy for a minute i need my
09:01co-host in the kitchen okay we're just gonna okay okay no no let's go let's go let's go let's
09:05go
09:09our kpi is the most interesting thing about this okay it's the retention of the customer base off
09:13to that discount period you know it's off the charts people want more community driven ride
09:17yes salim yes what are you saying bro yes look at this guy you good yeah come join us man
09:24join us
09:24yeah i've always been doing that anyway yeah i've got you some logos bro thank you thank you yeah so
09:28i
09:28never got your number how you been i've been good bro yeah you've been breaking shit what do you mean
09:33by that glass ceilings thank you try it man try it and i got his arm it's just a fracture
09:41hey just
09:42to bring this back to what we're talking about before you got here yeah um you know our number
09:45drivers are growing by the day will be in all key five bars by june so boobah sick idea innit
09:51i've
09:51been there from day one i remember bro i'm so proud of this guy customer is so proud and you
09:55know what's
09:55amazing he's always been an entrepreneur if anything he just went from selling grams to instagram
10:03just out of interest what was the what's your credit situation with the criminal record and everything
10:08no no problems whatsoever no issues and just for clarity um i didn't go inside for selling mall it's not
10:14just five bit of island disorder it was your self-defense it was before in a way he's a ride
10:18or die and he was there for me any credit issues though no credit issues because i'm going all in
10:22with everything that i've got right so if you need any credit you need financing just talk to me
10:27sorry just i was done the impression we were coming and seed round robin so it was series a
10:32you see this conversation here this is in fact the closest he's been to the business
10:37right in fact it's too close okay give me back my dildos then
10:44uh you know for me personally the most important quality by amuba is in fact the quality of the
10:50relationships we're not just there for them when we want because that's bullshit that's fake
10:56get the fuck off me bro i don't know
11:01and anyway i've always had a passion for customer services it's my thing that's one thing i picked
11:05up in dubai that's what we do best hospitality that's our culture one might say the muslim way
11:10of doing business i love the idea i'm gonna present it to the guys see what they say well you're
11:15taking
11:15this you're trying to get investment from dubai yeah okay yeah you're good no no i'm just saying
11:24you know dubai works for people with the you know all like with the but i mean what the fuck's
11:29this
11:29guy gonna do in dubai man he's gonna let you in bro you don't want to go there man i'm
11:32all in yeah
11:33remember that he was disrespectful he referred to your quiff like that there was no need
11:40they lose good shah got your second apology yeah that's not gonna work first of all what was up
11:47with that background if you post that you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich
11:51asshole also you forgot to say sorry again oh the first class in tazam kia naila
11:59next year he does back at yours no no absolutely yes very kind of you to step in this year
12:14it's because uh i worry for him for all of you it's so much pressure that's very kind
12:25of you to worry now i see a bit of your sister and him
12:35does shah chan have someone you can talk to he has me rukaiya had you too but she needed more
12:41help nah but bichariya any kudikok she doesn't know anything she was i love please it's all good
12:48my son is going to be the next james bond we all couldn't be more proud
12:57it's okay to talk about the struggles now really
13:02thank you it's all good it's first class
13:38kya shah latif is a Israeli jasus is this is a
13:41that the people who have been arrested and arrested for the people who have been arrested
13:45and arrested for the arrest of the people who have been arrested and arrested and arrested
13:57and arrested.
13:59Shahr, we need that apology.
14:01We're running out of time.
14:02I've literally written it out for you.
14:04Just find a quiet, neutral group.
14:06Record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late, okay?
14:14For fuck's sake.
14:32Am I interacting with something?
14:35Yeah.
14:36A conversation.
14:38Can you fucking close the door, please?
14:40Yes.
14:42Is this like you two...
14:44We need texting.
14:44I like her.
14:45Texting.
14:46Wow.
14:47So how long has this been going on?
14:48Six months.
14:49Three months?
14:50Okay, so this is nothing.
14:52Can we please not do this in front of Shahr?
14:53I'm sure.
14:54I'm not going to tell anyone.
14:54Come here.
14:55Can we not do this in front of Shahr?
14:56I came here for you.
14:57But I never asked you to, did I?
14:59But I asked me to.
15:00I never...
15:00Calm down.
15:01I never fucking asked you to.
15:02And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about.
15:04This is the whole problem.
15:05So just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zulfi then for the thing?
15:07No.
15:08Yes.
15:08Does he know, by the way?
15:10Oh, fuck's sake.
15:11Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
15:12I'm not going to say anything.
15:13I've got your back.
15:14I've got your back.
15:15Look, we don't have to tell anyone.
15:17Let's just be real about what this is, because this is something, right?
15:20Me and you both know it.
15:21What does that even mean, bro?
15:24You live a million miles away, okay?
15:26You have a whole life.
15:28You have fucking house keys, car keys, so many keys, okay?
15:32I have one key.
15:33I can give you keys.
15:34I don't want your keys, okay?
15:35I want mine.
15:36Yo, can I just step in here for a minute, offer maybe a different perspective from my own
15:39more mature experience, yeah?
15:41I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
15:44Alright?
15:45Alright.
15:45Now let's say, let's say you've been texting.
15:48There's some emotional ambiguity about where you both stand.
15:52Alright?
15:53Yeah?
15:53You can relate, right?
15:54You send a message, a heartfelt one.
15:57Instead of it going green, it goes grey.
16:00What does that mean to you?
16:02It means you're blocked.
16:05Fuck off, really?
16:06Yeah.
16:07Let me just show you this.
16:08Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
16:09Can I show you this quickly?
16:10No, no, no.
16:11Oi.
16:12Don't say anything to anyone.
16:13I'm chill.
16:15Salim, yeah?
16:19He's not fucking chill.
16:23Oh!
16:23Oh!
16:24Oh!
16:29Oh!
16:30Okay.
16:32He recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
16:35I will lead.
16:36Seated?
16:36I won't be seated.
16:37Think about it, sir.
16:39Let someone else lead.
16:40Listen, you ass-wipes.
16:42I can run circles around you idiots.
16:43I will lead.
16:51By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment,
16:55Shah Latif is exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction.
17:00And so he joins a long line of brown men who think that by becoming our oppressor, he's
17:04somehow liberating all of us.
17:05And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic to look more white.
17:18Come on.
17:20Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
17:22La ilaha illa Allah.
17:25Allahu Akbar.
17:30Hey, Shah Latif here.
17:32I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
17:36and avoidable.
17:37And I'm deeply sorry.
17:39Hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking thing.
17:46Shah Latif here.
17:48Last night at the King's Museum, I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object
17:52and apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
17:59Hi, Shah Latif here.
18:01Literally nothing to apologize for.
18:03Trying to save my career and my life.
18:05So I'll fuck you and your little TikTok, you little.
18:12And I'll do it and never know.
18:13My current guy Squależic and his family.
18:15No.
18:19I'll do it.
18:20No.
18:23Oh God.
18:26Yes, shoudeth certain temperatureLEY.znandashill.
18:31Ok. Ok. Oh
18:32God.
18:36Ok.
18:37Ok. Right.
18:37Hello?
18:40Yeah, is this Sid?
18:42Uh, yeah. Hi.
18:43Hi, this is Shah Latif.
18:46Is it? Actually?
18:48Yeah, it is actually. Bro, I just want to say,
18:51I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
18:56No excuses. I was banging out of order.
19:01I just don't know what came over me.
19:02I really hope you can find it in your heart to...
19:07Please forgive me.
19:08Yo, I appreciate this, man.
19:11Like, I really do.
19:12I was going to call my lawyers,
19:14but then the fact you called, man...
19:16Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
19:18I can't tell you how much this means, man.
19:20Legit.
19:23Well...
19:24Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
19:26Like, in a recording?
19:29Sorry?
19:30I need the engagement, bro.
19:32Right. I mean, I guess so.
19:35Nice, man.
19:36Appreciate it.
19:37Alright. Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
19:39Just remember, keep the bid under 90 for the algorithm.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:44How will it do?
19:45Alright.
19:45Safe.
19:48Ah!
19:58What's this?
19:59What is this?
20:01What is this?
20:02What is this?
20:02Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
20:03What's the problem?
20:04What?
20:04What happened?
20:06What happened?
20:06You fell.
20:07I was praying on a chair already.
20:09You want to sit down?
20:11Come on.
20:12How's your breathing?
20:13Okay?
20:14You okay?
20:15Huh?
20:15Why didn't you sit him down?
20:16Well, now you want to be involved.
20:17What the fuck's that supposed to mean?
20:18I'm doing something inside.
20:19It's for yourself.
20:19Don't come at me.
20:20You always fucking want to be the hero and you're never around.
20:22Alright, alright.
20:23Come on, mate.
20:24Baba?
20:25Do you care?
20:26Is anyone getting any water?
20:27I'm fine.
20:28I'm going to do you want to get a blanket or something?
20:32What?
20:33Are you good, bro?
20:34Bro?
20:34Are you good?
20:36Are you dumb?
20:37He's a fucking diabetic and you're giving him boxes of sweets?
20:40Shabbat, bada.
20:41Alright, alright, alright.
20:42Shabbat, just fuck off again, yeah?
20:43He's better when I'm not around, that's what you're saying.
20:45No, no, he's not my dad, he's your dad.
20:46Shut you.
20:47Huh?
20:47Shut you.
20:48You know what?
20:48You think you're a fucking bad man.
20:50Oh.
20:50Fucking, yeah, my people is my bad.
20:52How the fuck are you going to help your people if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
20:55No, bro.
20:57It's okay with me.
20:57He's just crying about last night, bro.
20:59What?
20:59You came in to take me.
21:00You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
21:01I saw you giving out your little business cards.
21:02That's some sweaty old minicap driver.
21:04Blow it.
21:04Blow it, bro.
21:05He's a leech, man.
21:06He's a leech, man.
21:07He's a leech my whole life.
21:08Why are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
21:09Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
21:11He's trying to chirp his little sister.
21:13What?
21:13Only chirping.
21:14I love her.
21:15All right, what the fuck, man?
21:17Are you fucking, are you mad?
21:18Listen, don't listen to him.
21:19He's lost the fucking blood.
21:20He's been chatting to her pig's head in the freezer.
21:22What freezer?
21:22In the garage and he's been talking to her.
21:24Are you talking to her pig's head?
21:25What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:26What if I have?
21:27Better listener than any of you lot.
21:28That's what happens when you're related to you guys.
21:30I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
21:31Hey, enough.
21:37Why are you, why are you saying that to me?
21:39No, no, I'm asking.
21:40Why is he saying that to me?
21:41Baba, what did I do?
21:41What did I do?
21:42I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
21:43I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
21:45Will you not judge me?
21:46Huh?
21:47Why are you fucking touching me?
21:48Don't touch me.
21:49Shh.
21:49I'm trying to change the world.
21:50All right?
21:51So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless thinking.
21:55Peter Paki, look at me.
21:56Get the fuck out of here, boss.
21:58Baba, I'm not the problem, am I?
21:59She blames you for what happened to your mom, bro.
22:00Shut up.
22:02I'm not the problem.
22:36I'm not the problem.
22:41Amazing.
22:43One mixed brew.
22:45Wow.
22:46One biryani.
22:50Orkadol.
22:50Great.
22:51And some non.
22:52Oh, thank you.
22:53Enjoy your meal.
22:54Let us know if you would like anything else.
22:55Can I use some more water?
22:56Yeah, sure.
23:08Oh, my God, Yasmin.
23:12What the fuck?
23:14What are you doing here?
23:16What are you doing here?
23:18Oh, yeah, you come here every year on ETH, don't you?
23:21I totally forgot.
23:23You forgot?
23:24Yeah, yeah, I'm just here.
23:25I'm just picking up some poop.
23:27Right.
23:28What a coincidence.
23:30Actually, do you mind if I...
23:35What's happening?
23:37I just told you, I'm just going to pick up some poop.
23:39On the other side of London at 9.30.
23:41On Eid?
23:43Yeah.
23:44Don't eat that.
23:45Why not?
23:46You won't like it.
23:47I think I know what I like.
23:48It's chicken, not lamb.
23:51Why would you get the chicken?
23:53Trying new things.
23:54Is that okay?
23:55No, it's a bit weird because the lamb's a signature.
23:57Okay, so you're here because of the article.
23:58Can we stop pretending?
24:01I'm sorry, what article?
24:03Are you being serious right now?
24:06I'm sorry if I missed your...
24:07What is it, an article?
24:08That sounds fun.
24:09Tell me about it.
24:09You're doubling down on this.
24:10Right.
24:12Dude, you know how it's like.
24:13I've got busy.
24:14You're busy.
24:15Well, I'm sure you're not fixated on everything that I'm doing, right?
24:17This is a strong take.
24:18I've got to hand it to you.
24:19I don't know what you mean.
24:20It sounds like you think I'm...
24:21I like killing myself to be something that I'm not.
24:23And you memorized it.
24:25That's sad.
24:27Who's that?
24:27Oh, you're sad.
24:28I'm not sad.
24:29I've been having a great time.
24:29I've been swapping out political art for vanilla destruction.
24:33Can you stop quoting my article, please?
24:35And it's not even about you, actually.
24:37Oh, it's not about me.
24:38Full disclosure.
24:39Charlotte, if and I know one another and have spent time together socially, is that how
24:43you're going to describe our relationship?
24:46That's how you describe the relationship, all right?
24:47And you calm down.
24:48These people are not your audience.
24:49You're ruining their dinner and mine.
24:51This is revenge porn, man.
24:52This is revenge porn dressed up as an identity politics and pop culture thing piece.
24:56Is it revenge porn if you're fucking yourself over?
24:59Yeah.
24:59Actually, it is.
25:00That's a sub-genre of revenge porn.
25:02Yeah, it is.
25:02It doesn't matter what kind of porn it is.
25:03Delete that now.
25:06Delete that or I'll break your fucking nose with it.
25:08Yeah, it's good.
25:08And the deleted pics folder.
25:09What do you think?
25:10I'm fucking thick.
25:11Pitch your mouth.
25:11That's what you want, man.
25:12It's a little bit, okay?
25:13Isn't that what you want?
25:13And that's not a private language here, you idiot.
25:16Dude, can you just delete it?
25:17I wanted a selfie.
25:18You can talk to me.
25:19I'm very approachable.
25:19Uncle.
25:20Yeah, thank you.
25:21Dude, enjoy your milkshake.
25:22Yeah, show's over.
25:23What are you doing?
25:24Are you kidding me?
25:25Enjoy your little fan one.
25:25Come on, man.
25:26Let's take it.
25:26Have you been paid?
25:27Is she paid?
25:28Yes, I paid.
25:28And I'm the dramatic one.
25:30Okay, look, time out, please.
25:31I just want to talk.
25:32Excuse me.
25:32After all this time, you must have.
25:33I'm sorry about that.
25:34Can we just have a chat?
25:35It's not right, man.
25:37It's not right.
25:39I'm here.
25:39I don't want to take something, man.
25:42Fucking fuck.
25:43Did you see that?
25:44Is there a back door?
25:47Where's the back door?
25:47I think they're here for me, right?
25:49Anyone?
25:50Fine, thanks.
25:51I'll find it myself.
25:52Wait.
25:53Wait, go.
25:55Wait.
25:56Go.
26:00Wait.
26:01Wait.
26:01Wait.
26:01Wait.
26:01Not allowed.
26:02Not allowed.
26:02Not allowed, please.
26:03I'm off.
26:03Give me a call.
26:05All right.
26:06Sorry.
26:06All right.
26:06What are you doing?
26:07Do not be quiet.
26:08No.
26:08You're not going to be quiet.
26:09No.
26:09No.
26:10I'm not going to be here.
26:12I'm not trying to be there.
26:14I'm on my way now.
26:16No.
26:17No.
26:18No.
26:20No.
26:22No.
26:25Sorry.
26:26I would have made that all wrong.
26:27I just wanted to see you.
26:28That last bit wasn't my fault.
26:31Come on now.
26:31That was crazy.
26:33You're crazy.
26:34Me.
26:36You knocked three people out just by staring at me.
26:38If you ever need a job, I could do with security.
26:42If you think that was fine, do you have some serious issues?
26:45Better than a book club for one.
26:47What kind of ETH is that, huh?
26:48How about your ETH?
26:49Crossing London to stalk your ex.
26:50Do you need help?
26:52No.
26:52I do.
26:53And you did help me and I'm grateful because it shows that you care. I do care. Well, it's all
26:58beautiful lady
27:00You know what? Yeah, yeah, I'll buy a rose
27:03Well, I should be thanking you, right? No, please. Well, how much are those five food? Okay, this is Steve
27:10I'll do 250 for her. Okay, you're embarrassing yourself. Oh, that's not the first time I would have done that
27:13for you, though, is it?
27:16I don't need a rose from you. You don't need anything from anyone. No, just not from you. Actually, my
27:20life's pretty great. Okay, if it's great, lend me five pounds
27:22I'll buy you a rose and I can stop you and scratch
27:25Five pounds of pencil
27:28You know, if you knew me at all
27:31You know, I hate roses
27:33I remember that. I just you gotta love the gesture, huh?
27:37You love the gesture. Guys, guys, why don't you come in for the best curry on Brick Lane 20%
27:41off for the lovely couple, eh?
27:42We're not a couple. We used to be. You met my family. Yeah, I did actually and you know what?
27:48He made me wear a jacket over my sleeveless dress the first time when I met his dad
27:51Well, I'm not in a funder way. Just my dad's a bit of a like a little pervy uncle, mate
27:55Listen, she was making out like I would have locked her in a cupboard if we carried on dating. Yeah
27:59She put all her cultural and family issues on me just because I'm brown. That's racist, isn't it?
28:02Isn't it more racist to be killing yourself to play a white neo-colonial MI6 agent?
28:06But if I played him, he wouldn't be white, would he?
28:08Yeah, but you would be
28:09Guys, I've got an idea. Why don't you go to my cousin's restaurant across the road?
28:12I think that's better for you. Don't you want to hear about how he brought a date to my friends
28:15and family screening?
28:16A date? That was not a date. She was a world colleague that I brought.
28:21She was shit in your mango tree flop. Guessing it wasn't enough to snog her on screen.
28:25Good for the career to be spotted out and about with her. God forbid anything come from all that.
28:28Okay. Okay. Hadn't we broken up by then?
28:30Char, that night was about me. Okay? And also taking a break isn't the same as breaking up.
28:35Okay. So then how exactly would you define how we-
28:38Fucking cunt. Fuck!
28:39What?
28:40I left my bag at the restaurant.
28:41Okay, do you, um, do you have to go back there now?
28:44I have my passport in it and I'm leaving tomorrow.
28:45What are you doing?
28:46Fuck, Argentina.
28:47What? Why are you going to Argentina?
28:49Wait. Someone's taking it.
28:53My airports are moving. Fuck.
28:54Oh shit. You're going to catch you on foot. You need a cabinet.
28:57Oh wait! Taxi!
29:00I need to get it back.
29:02That's gone. Listen, can you just, just let me help. Just trust me for once.
29:08I don't know.
29:09Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on, come on, come on, come on.
29:14Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seriously?
29:15Hey mate! Listen! Can you give us a lift?
29:17Yeah, come on.
29:18Okay. Yeah?
29:19How fast is this guy?
29:20Not that fast.
29:22Faster than walking though, isn't it?
29:23Oh yeah, it's a bike.
29:26If you annoy me, I will ditch you. Understood?
29:28Oh, you always say that, but you're still here.
29:29Yeah, well, I'm leaving the country tomorrow, aren't I?
29:31Hey, this is an emergency. Can you follow this door?
29:35Yeah. Alright auntie, I got you.
29:38You're definitely going to get a tip.
29:39Alright, listen. It's going to be fine.
29:41What's the name of you, Tina?
29:43Funding came through for my doc.
29:44The shipwreck one?
29:45Mm-hmm.
29:46Cool.
29:47Come on.
29:49Proud of you, man.
29:51I don't mean that to patronise you today.
29:52Well, it was a little bit patronising.
29:54No, seriously.
29:54I wish there were more talking in case about shipwrecks.
30:07Your dad is more her than Fondo.
30:12I appreciate you saying that.
30:14He would have killed to have me in your family.
30:17I would have liked to kill him.
30:18I'd have to keep pulling him to one side like that.
30:20What the fuck are you doing?
30:21Chill out, mate.
30:25How is he?
30:27He's not good.
30:29Nah.
30:29He's not, um...
30:32Yeah, he's not good.
30:38I think my whole family hates me.
30:41They probably do.
30:52Shut up.
30:57That is...
30:58Come on, that's crazy.
30:59Of all the tunes...
31:01That's wild.
31:03I don't know whether you feel it.
31:06Mate, can you turn it off?
31:09Better, turn it off for your auntie.
31:11I'll get an auntie with a rabies.
31:29Is it here?
31:30Somewhere around there.
31:32Maybe it's in the diner over there.
31:33In there?
31:34Yeah.
31:37Thanks.
31:38Yeah.
31:3910% off your next ride.
31:40Leaving tomorrow.
31:41Well, when you get back then?
31:42Not coming back.
31:43What do you mean, not coming back?
31:44Doesn't matter.
31:46What do you mean by that?
31:47Cat, Manny, Charlie?
31:48No, man.
31:50Nice one.
31:53What do you mean by that?
31:54What do you mean by that?
31:54You're not coming back?
31:54No.
31:56It's here.
31:58Okay.
31:59Okay?
32:00Um, yeah.
32:02I think...
32:02Is that down there on the left?
32:04Yeah.
32:04Hurry up.
32:04It takes weeks to get a new passport.
32:06Don't worry.
32:06We're gonna get it.
32:07Wait, I think it's...
32:09It's this one here.
32:16Hi.
32:17Hi.
32:19Welcome to the glow up.
32:2025th.
32:21Oh, I'd like to pay, please.
32:23But I don't know my wallet or phone, so...
32:26How's this become an expensive date for me?
32:32And here are your body bags.
32:36Down the corridor on the right.
32:38Okay.
32:38All right.
32:39Okay.
32:40So what are we going for exactly?
32:41Uh, it's a bum bag.
32:42Okay.
32:43What kind of bum bag?
32:44Just a bag.
32:45Right.
32:46Neon.
32:47Pink and yellow.
32:48Wait, is this the one that I got you?
32:50Yeah.
32:51Aww.
32:52All right.
32:52Relax.
32:53What?
32:53No, we shouldn't be too hard to find, right?
32:55Yeah, it's convenient.
32:55It's a useful size bag.
32:57Okay, okay.
33:01Sharp!
33:06Might be a bit tricky.
33:08Oh, shit.
33:10I'm never going to find my bag in here.
33:12Whoa, aren't you forgetting something?
33:15So what?
33:16Check your goodie bag, mate.
33:17Can't let you on the dance floor like that.
33:19Come on.
33:21Oh, with the paint.
33:23All right.
33:24Um, fuck it.
33:27Um, I'm not really...
33:28I'm shit at this kind of...
33:29Sit down.
33:29I'll do it.
33:34Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
33:34Be nice.
33:36Be nice.
33:37When am I not nice?
33:40As much as you want to, um, humiliate me, just remember who's passport with you before, okay?
33:46Don't rush the artist, please.
33:50Sorry.
33:53Or look into her soul.
33:59Why'd you get rid of the nose ring?
34:01Um, I don't know.
34:03You look so much fitter with that nose ring, man.
34:06What?
34:06Fuck you.
34:07What?
34:07I'm just saying, took the attention away from that cold, dead look in your eyes.
34:11Probably around the same time as you, um, started losing half your hair.
34:14You know, um, fitting hair is linked to high levels of testosterone, so...
34:18I know you, bro.
34:18So if you need some money for a hair transplant, okay, you just let me know.
34:22No, I'm fine.
34:22You know, I just take all my self-loathing, and I rub it on my scalp every day.
34:25But thanks for chopping me up on self-loathing.
34:27Next time I see you, you're going to have shaved your head, and you're going to tell me it's for
34:30a roll.
34:32All because I'm going to have a really secret, sad illness.
34:34I said, you're going to be so upset about all the time you just spent together now that I'm dead.
34:38Yeah?
34:39Death guilty?
34:40That's a straight up auntie move.
34:41It is.
34:42Sorry did that trigger you?
34:44Sorry does that turn you on?
34:45I know.
34:46I know.
35:08You did that.
35:09Yeah?
35:12Come on.
35:12Let me check in.
38:04Hey.
38:07Hey.
39:45Hey.
40:15Hey.
40:45We're right back.
40:45We're right back.
40:56Do you want to know what it's like doing the dirty work, fighting everybody and being
41:06a nobody? I don't live with myself. I live with whoever they need me to be. And if I don't
41:21know who I am, it's because I feel like maybe you don't want to know.
41:28Are you acting?
41:31No.
41:32It's like lines.
41:34They are lines, but the feeling is honest.
41:39You're insane.
41:49Please don't go.
41:56Take care, okay?
42:22What?
42:28Is that a story?
42:41Why are you doing that?
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