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00:00I was a slave. Yet every night, I had to take Luna's place and sleep with the Alpha.
00:04On the bed, I begged him to mark me and make me one of his mates.
00:08Please, make me your wife.
00:11What are you thinking?
00:14You're nothing but a slave.
00:16I close my eyes. Every wolf in the pack knows.
00:19Kaylin doesn't just love Lady Vivian. He worships her.
00:23So the next morning, I walked straight to the pack matriarch and kneeled before her.
00:27I volunteered to marry her eldest son, Kaylin's dying brother.
00:31Firstly shocked, then the pack matriarch's eyes filled with tears.
00:35After the ghost marriage is done, you'll have to keep Widowsville for your mate forever.
00:40My good child, have you truly thought this through?
00:45I will have no regrets.
00:47Alpha Kaylin and Lady Vivian had gone deathly pale.
00:50On the full moon night, Kaylin came to Vivian's room again.
00:53I watched them through the crack in the door, his voice low and honeyed,
00:56her laugh like silver.
00:58Vivian left to wash up, cheeks ruined with wanting.
01:01Before she went, she killed every candle, as always.
01:05An hour later, I stepped into the dark.
01:07His scent hit me first, and my traitorous body answered,
01:10heart slamming, skin tight.
01:12Why are you so cold?
01:15I was outside, watching the snow.
01:18Truth is, I'd been shivering at the threshold in a thin slip for an hour,
01:22waiting for her signal like a good little ghost.
01:26You smelled.
01:28A pause.
01:28My heart stopped.
01:30The tincture.
01:31So nice.
01:32His mouth found mine in the dark.
01:35His hardness reached my soul.
01:43Before dawn, I knelt at Vivian's feet and recited him.
01:47Every whisper.
01:48Every mark blooming purple on my throat.
01:51Her expression curdled.
01:52Then she walked back into his arms.
01:54Caelan caught her hair around one lazy finger.
01:57You've been sneaking out to find yourself another wolf.
01:59She swatted him, pouting prettily, as if she were the one.
02:03Vivian was beautiful, and chronically, devastatingly fragile.
02:07Caelan saw her at the spring hunt gathering.
02:09He fell instantly.
02:11Offered her the first mate rank before the night was over.
02:13Perfect together.
02:15Everyone said so.
02:16As her bonded handmaid, I was genuinely happy for them.
02:19Until their bonding night.
02:23Three nights in a row.
02:25No completed bond.
02:26No mating mark.
02:27Overnight, Vivian became the pack's favorite joke.
02:31Desperate, Vivian invented the switch.
02:33Every night, candles out, handmade substitutes.
02:36Masking tinctures rubbed into my skin until I smelled like her ghost.
02:40Of all her handmaids, only I was a viable double.
02:44Vivian and I were built from the same blueprint.
02:46The same narrow waist.
02:48The same pale slope of shoulder and throat.
02:50Side by side in daylight, the resemblance was unsettling.
02:53In total darkness, with the masking tinctures working through my skin,
02:57his wolf couldn't tell the difference.
02:59What Vivian hadn't accounted for.
03:01I was not fragile.
03:03She broke under Caelan's hands.
03:05I did not.
03:06What she couldn't endure, I simply survived.
03:08Body learning the architecture of his need.
03:11Learning to anticipate it.
03:14Relax.
03:14Only three years.
03:16My body will recover.
03:17Then I will give you enough gold to live well outside the mansion.
03:21Think about it.
03:22My whole family's safety rested in her hands.
03:25I had no choice.
03:26One hour later, Vivian and Caelan finally rose.
03:29I returned to my quarters briefly,
03:31then went in to lay out the morning meal.
03:36Why are you dressed like that?
03:38I didn't know how to answer.
03:39I pressed my lips together.
03:41Caelan bit.
03:42Hard.
03:44Darling, you've forgotten Selena is mute.
03:46I nodded quickly.
03:47Serving Vivian meant constant proximity to Caelan,
03:50and she was terrified of exposure.
03:53So she declared me mute.
03:55The entire pack believed it.
03:57Your little mute is striking.
03:58Sad, almost, how pretty she is.
04:00And what exactly does my alpha mean by that?
04:03Has she caught your eye?
04:04I haven't blamed you for anything yet,
04:06and you're already turning on me.
04:09Caelan had pushed too far last night.
04:12I'd wept myself hoarse, then bitten him hard.
04:15He'd walked through silver and hellfire to earn his title,
04:19scars mapping him from throat to hip.
04:22He wouldn't care about a few teeth marks.
04:24This whole performance was foreplay.
04:26I don't know how much time passed.
04:29You insolent thing!
04:30You dared bite him?
04:32Are you challenging me?
04:33I had no time to defend myself.
04:35Vivian had me bound,
04:37dragged to the supply outbuilding.
04:39No food, no water.
04:40Caelan had left for the border territories.
04:43However long he was gone,
04:44I stayed locked up.
04:46I was barely breathing
04:47when my sister found a way through.
04:49Briar had bribed the guard,
04:51slipped a bowl of broth under the door.
04:53She was my younger sister.
04:54Sister, what did you do to make the lady so angry?
04:57Briar, when will Caelan be back?
04:59The guards say tonight,
05:00and he's going straight to the lady's room.
05:03What else was happening in the mansion?
05:05The alpha-haired, his wolf spirit is fading again.
05:07The pack healers say there's nothing left to do.
05:09They're preparing the rates.
05:10Lucian, the elder brother,
05:12cursed since birth, fading,
05:14never anchored to this world.
05:15He's never taken a mate.
05:17The matriarch doesn't want him to cross alone.
05:19She's looking for someone willing to complete a spirit bond.
05:22A spirit bond with a dying alpha heir,
05:24meant grieving him forever.
05:26No high-ranking female would consent.
05:29Not even the lower-ranked handmaids.
05:30At dusk, they released me.
05:32I'd be needed that night.
05:33Selina, I was impulsive.
05:36I meant to release you hours ago,
05:37but things got away from me.
05:39Don't hold it against me.
05:40Of course not, my lady.
05:42My lady, it has been three years.
05:44When will I leave the pack mansion?
05:46You want to leave?
05:47Yes.
05:48My body hasn't healed.
05:49Caelan still needs you.
05:50If you insist on leave,
05:51I'll simply use Briar instead.
05:52Your sisters.
05:53The voice, the build.
05:54Close enough.
05:55How old is she?
05:56Thirteen or fourteen?
05:58Then,
05:59could Caelan at least give me a rank?
06:01Reaching for status now?
06:04If I wanted Caelan to take a new mate,
06:06I have a hundred candidates.
06:08You would never make that list.
06:10Don't bother trying to go through Caelan directly.
06:13You're a convenience to him.
06:16Even if you ended up in his quarters permanently,
06:19I could have you removed with a single word.
06:23But every un-mated female is supposed to be matched eventually.
06:27Eventually?
06:28Was I supposed to be her substitute?
06:30In bed?
06:31For the rest of my life?
06:33The gatekeeper's son is your age.
06:35When you turn sixteen next year,
06:37I'll arrange the match.
06:37The gatekeeper's son.
06:39A man with a child's mind
06:41and fists like hammers,
06:44hitting because it was the only thing he knew.
06:46Only by being bound to someone that broken
06:48would I remain useful
06:50and too far gone to threaten her.
06:53Caelan returned
06:54to find me kneeling.
06:55You're home!
06:56You must be exhausted!
06:58This girl broke the crystal chalice
07:00from the Western Alliance.
07:01I've had her kneeling.
07:03Caelan stepped over me
07:04without a glance.
07:06What's the status on my brother?
07:08I've asked every un-mated female in the pack.
07:10A spirit bond sounds like a curse to them.
07:13None of the young wolves will agree.
07:14What's there to agree about?
07:15Find a female,
07:16threaten someone she loves,
07:17and it's done.
07:18That kind of coercion
07:19would be hard to hide from your mother.
07:21Enough gold and fear
07:23will find a willing body.
07:25And if you handle this well,
07:28my mother might finally
07:30look at you differently.
07:33And every time Caelan came back
07:35from the border,
07:36he spent the whole night
07:37making up for lost time.
07:38He was an alpha
07:39who'd spent weeks at war.
07:41He came home hungry,
07:43and he made that hunger
07:44my problem.
07:46That night,
07:47I gave him everything.
07:49Pushed past my own limits
07:50to match him.
07:51Why so eager tonight?
07:52Did you miss me?
07:54I rarely initiated.
07:55He noticed.
07:57Good girl.
07:58Near dawn,
07:59I came back to myself
08:01in pieces.
08:03Trying to run again?
08:08My wolf has always been
08:09sense-sensitive.
08:14I've known about your lady's
08:15little switch since the beginning.
08:17No wonder.
08:17He grew bolder every time,
08:20which meant he never held back.
08:22It was all for me.
08:23Then why won't you
08:25give me a rank?
08:26A rank?
08:27She's the one
08:28who brought you here.
08:29I'm not going to be the one
08:30to claim her handmaid.
08:31That would fracture our bond.
08:33She was right.
08:34A she-wolf,
08:35taken for free.
08:36Why give her a title?
08:37What grows in the dark,
08:39stays small.
08:42Speechless with joy?
08:43Thank you for your
08:44generosities, Alpha.
08:45I'm afraid I don't have
08:46the kind of luck
08:47to deserve it.
08:47You've shared my bed
08:48for years.
08:49Don't get ideas
08:50above your station.
08:51He didn't like greedy she-wolves.
08:53He had others,
08:54bonded females,
08:56all with bloodlines,
08:57gifts from allied packs.
08:59And yet,
09:00since Vivian came,
09:01he never touched them.
09:03The pack praised him
09:04for devotion,
09:05and he wore that praise
09:06like armor.
09:08A handmaid,
09:09born to serve,
09:11was never meant
09:11to stand beside him.
09:13The colder I became,
09:15I was born low.
09:16I don't deserve a rank,
09:18and I don't belong
09:18in your quarters.
09:19I only hope you and the lady
09:20are devoted to each other
09:21until the end.
09:22The next morning,
09:23Briar heard of Vivian's plan
09:25to marry me off
09:25to the gatekeeper's son.
09:27We served her faithfully.
09:28How can she be this cruel?
09:30That brute
09:31would be a slow death.
09:33The thought lingered,
09:34then twisted,
09:35into something darker.
09:36If I couldn't escape fate,
09:38I would choose it.
09:40I will take the spirit bond
09:41with Lucien.
09:42The matriarch stared,
09:44then broke into
09:44astonished relief.
09:45She asked my name,
09:47my birth date,
09:47my bloodline.
09:48The pack shaman
09:49consulted the moon charts
09:50and looked up,
09:51nodding.
09:52This female's spirit signature
09:53aligns with the heirs
09:54in a way I have not seen
09:55in decades.
09:57She was born into hardship,
09:59which means she carries
10:00the kind of resilience
10:01that could anchor him.
10:02The bond will serve him
10:03well in the next life.
10:05Caelan and Vivian arrived
10:06quickly once word spread.
10:07They walked in together
10:08to find me sitting
10:09at the matriarch's feet,
10:10working the tension
10:11from her ankles.
10:12Caelan's voice came first,
10:14amused, sharp.
10:15This is the female
10:16who agreed to bond
10:17with my brother?
10:18Whoever's handmaid she is,
10:19she has a rare heart.
10:21Mother, you must reward her well.
10:22I turned and faced them.
10:24Caelan went very still.
10:25It's me,
10:26Alpha Caelan,
10:27Lady Vivian's.
10:30You're supposed to be mute.
10:32I can speak.
10:33My lady simply prefers I don't.
10:35Vivian's face turned to chalk.
10:37I didn't know your household
10:38contained such a loyal soul,
10:40but once this bond is sealed,
10:42you'll carry his grief
10:43for the rest of your days.
10:44Are you certain?
10:45I will never regret it.
10:46The hand hanging at Caelan's side
10:48curled into a fist.
10:50He stared at me like I had become
10:51something he didn't recognize.
10:53Child, tell me what you want.
10:55Silver, land, titles,
10:57anything I can grant is yours.
11:00I turned and looked at Vivian.
11:01She held her smile together,
11:03but she took half a step back.
11:04After a long pause,
11:06I dropped my eyes.
11:07I have a younger sister,
11:08Briar.
11:09I ask that she be transferred
11:10to your personal household matriarch.
11:12She's already part of this pack.
11:13I'll see to her for the rest of her life.
11:16Vivian's smile pulled thin.
11:18Mother, Briar came with my dowie pack.
11:21She's my bonded household.
11:22I'd hate to be ungenerous, but-
11:24She's a handmaid.
11:25Mother wants her.
11:26Give her over.
11:27Caelan's voice cut across hers,
11:29flat and final.
11:30The matriarch's expression
11:31had gone stone cold.
11:32Bring the bond papers.
11:36I will find Briar a secure place
11:38before I pass.
11:39You don't have to worry about her
11:41ever again.
11:42I hadn't expected the matriarch
11:44to think about her entire future.
11:46Moved beyond words.
11:48Thank you, matriarch.
11:49I promise to care for Lucian
11:51with everything I have.
11:53When the matriarch spoke
11:54of her eldest son,
11:55she couldn't stop the break
11:56in her voice.
11:57I was pregnant with Lucian
11:59during the Dark Coven War.
12:01The fear marked him at birth.
12:04He came into the world
12:05without breath,
12:07without a wolf spirit.
12:08His father had returned
12:10victorious that same night
12:11and brought someone with him
12:13from the deep forest.
12:14A shaman.
12:15The shaman's methods
12:16were outside anything
12:17the pack had seen.
12:18He brought Lucian back
12:19from the edge of nothing.
12:20It should have been a miracle,
12:22but the shaman warned them.
12:23Pulling a spirit back
12:24across that threshold
12:25was a transgression
12:26against the laws
12:27of wolf and moon.
12:29Lucian could live,
12:30but only for 30 years,
12:31no more.
12:32And so it had been.
12:33Lucian had grown up slight,
12:35unable to shift
12:36into warrior form,
12:37but razor sharp in mind,
12:39a natural strategist,
12:40a scholar.
12:41He'd won council honors young,
12:43but the older he got,
12:44the weaker his body became.
12:46Eventually,
12:46he stopped leaving
12:47his territory altogether,
12:49retreating to a lakeside cabin
12:50at the edge
12:51of the pack mansion.
12:52Since I had agreed
12:53to the spirit bond,
12:54I was to remain at his side.
12:56Word was that he didn't
12:57allow anyone to serve him,
12:58just the shaman,
12:59who had stayed
13:00all these years.
13:01The shaman brought me
13:02into the cabin
13:03while Lucian was asleep.
13:04I looked at his face.
13:05His lashes trembled faintly
13:07with each shallow breath.
13:08He was two years older
13:09than Kaelin,
13:1027.
13:11The brothers looked
13:11nothing alike.
13:13Kaelin was bronze
13:14and hard-edged
13:14from years of combat training.
13:16Lucian was fine-boned,
13:18pale as snow,
13:19almost startlingly beautiful
13:21in a way that made
13:21you forget to breathe.
13:23I spent the afternoon
13:24learning his preferences.
13:25When the sun touched
13:26the horizon,
13:27Lucian finally woke.
13:28It was time for his medicine.
13:30I'd spent the afternoon
13:31learning to brew it
13:31from the shaman.
13:32So you're the female
13:33who plans to bond
13:34with my corpse.
13:35Yes.
13:36Get up.
13:37He picked up the bowl calmly.
13:42I don't want it.
13:43What are you going to do about it?
13:45Lucian looked up,
13:46a thread of provocation
13:47in his gaze.
13:48The shaman had told me
13:49Lucian was a person
13:50of pure instinct,
13:51all feeling,
13:52no armor,
13:53earned honors at 15,
13:55and had the makings
13:56of something extraordinary
13:57ahead of him.
13:58Then one evening,
13:59a hunting trip
14:00with Kaelin
14:01ended with Lucian
14:02falling off the cliff
14:03and drown in the water,
14:05his wolf spirit seizing
14:06and three days
14:07of unconsciousness.
14:08The matriarch
14:09had broken every servant
14:10in his household
14:11for failing him
14:12and sold the rest.
14:13Lucian didn't treat
14:14servants like livestock.
14:15He'd read too much
14:16and thought too hard
14:17to do that.
14:20Alpha Hare,
14:22I genuinely can't force you,
14:25but since we're going
14:26to be bonded eventually,
14:27perhaps I look down
14:29at the dark liquid.
14:30Perhaps I should start
14:31exercising a mate's authority
14:33now.
14:34Either you drink this
14:36or
14:37Or what?
14:39The shaman had told me
14:40Lucian had refused medicine
14:41for six months.
14:43That was why he was hovering
14:44at the edge of nothing.
14:45At this rate,
14:46he wouldn't survive
14:47to spring.
15:01When I looked at him again,
15:03vivid color had bloomed
15:04across his face,
15:05like dawn breaking
15:06over frost.
15:07Those butterfly-winged
15:08lashes were trembling.
15:09With outrage,
15:10I thought,
15:11distantly,
15:12of every arrogant
15:13she-wolf
15:14Kaelin had ever teased
15:15into furious,
15:16helpless blushing.
15:17Lucian's expression
15:18was painfully similar.
15:19A prick of guilt
15:20moved through me.
15:21I forced my own pulse
15:23to slow,
15:24keeping my voice steady.
15:25If you won't drink,
15:26I'll be forced
15:27to do that again.
15:44alpha hair.
15:45Your color has improved
15:46over these past few days.
15:48Your skin isn't as cold
15:49as it was.
15:49That's the medicine working.
15:51Medicine is useless.
15:52The shaman works hard
15:54to brew it.
15:55If you pour it out
15:55every time,
15:56he'll be heartbroken.
15:58Watch.
16:00Testing the temperature alone
16:01takes constant checking
16:02to preserve the potency.
16:04I've only been doing it
16:05a few days
16:06and my hands already
16:06look like this.
16:08He pressed his lips together,
16:10said nothing,
16:11and drank the rest of the bowl
16:12without being asked.
16:14After that,
16:14he never made me beg him
16:15to drink his medicine again.
16:19Half a month later,
16:20the shaman gave the matriarch
16:21his report.
16:22Lucian had genuinely improved,
16:24no longer at death's edge.
16:27Could it be a final surge
16:29before the end?
16:30No,
16:31it's real healing.
16:32This one is responsible.
16:34I told you before,
16:35her wolf spirit signature
16:36is a natural compliment to his.
16:38She steadies him.
16:40The matriarch looked satisfied.
16:42When she turned to me,
16:43her eyes were almost tender.
16:45How has Selina been caring for you?
16:50She's been taking
16:51very good care of me.
16:55Alpha Lucian may not know,
16:57but when Selina was serving
16:59in my household,
17:00her skill at attending to Caelan
17:02was quite exceptional as well.
17:04Such a good servant.
17:06The air went very still.
17:09Is that how you speak
17:10to your future sister-in-law?
17:12Vivian,
17:13you are young,
17:15but that is no excuse
17:16for ignorance of pack law.
17:18Shut up!
17:20Stop embarrassing yourself!
17:23Days later,
17:24did you hear about it?
17:26Vivian had found
17:26another substitute.
17:27She looked for a maid again?
17:29Not from the pack's own hand-aids?
17:30She'd bought a woman
17:31from outside,
17:32trained and shaped
17:33to match her voice
17:34and build exactly.
17:35How do you know?
17:35Because Caelan lit every lantern
17:37in the room that night,
17:38and when he saw what he saw,
17:39he beat woman half to death
17:40and threw her at Vivian's feet.
17:41Vivian had fainted.
17:42And then,
17:43he said if she refused
17:44to truly share his bed,
17:45he would never come
17:46to her rooms again.
17:47They're sleeping
17:47in separate dens now.
17:49Separate dens meant
17:50every wolf in the pack
17:51knew the bond was broken.
17:53No mate's devotion.
17:54No matriarch's approval.
17:56No pups.
17:56No wonder Vivian looked
17:58like she hadn't slept
17:58in a month.
18:04He looked fragile
18:05in the lake wind,
18:07unsteadying.
18:08I went back
18:08to get his cloak.
18:14Is it you?
18:19Was it always you?
18:22Answer me.
18:24You think you can
18:25play mute with me again?
18:32Silence won't save you.
18:35I don't need your voice
18:36to confirm it.
18:37One night,
18:38and I'd know for certain.
18:40Had he lost his mind?
18:42I spent three years
18:44with a woman,
18:45and she's going to be
18:46bonded to my brother.
18:48How dare you make fools
18:50of us both?
18:51Especially me!
18:52Would a rank at my side
18:53really be worse
18:54than grieving a dead man forever?
18:56Do you actually want
18:57to bond with a corpse?
19:01I just want to survive!
19:06If I didn't do this,
19:07she'd give me to someone
19:08who'd break me.
19:10A formal bond,
19:12even a broken one,
19:13would have made me
19:13untouchable.
19:16Useful to no one.
19:19Forced to stay
19:20her shadow forever.
19:21Before he could recover,
19:23I stomped hard
19:24on his foot
19:24and ran.
19:25I was still stumbling
19:26when I rounded the corner.
19:28What took you so long?
19:32I smiled,
19:33walked over,
19:34and settled the cloak
19:35around his shoulders.
19:36But he simply brushed
19:37my hand away.
19:38Somehow he lost balance
19:39and fell.
19:39His chest had a severe bruise.
19:42Just leave me.
19:43I am not your burden.
19:47Lucian liked to sit there,
19:48open a book in the shade.
19:50Why did you really agree
19:52to the spirit bond?
19:54I didn't want to be given
19:55to the given
19:56to the gatekeeper's son.
19:58I thought it would be
19:59something like that.
20:00What is it to guess
20:01that it would be like this?
20:03The shaman pressed
20:04a small wooden box
20:05into my hands.
20:06Should I start calling you
20:07mate of the alpha?
20:08Please don't.
20:10My future,
20:11most likely,
20:11was a silent room
20:12in a shrine,
20:13grieving him in his name
20:15until I followed.
20:16With the shaman gone,
20:17I took on more responsibility,
20:19including helping Lucian bathe.
20:24I watched his ears
20:25and tried not to smile.
20:27Had no one ever
20:27helped him bathe?
20:29Caelan had always kept
20:30half a dozen female attendants
20:32for bathing.
20:32A younger version of me
20:34would have died
20:34of the blush alone.
20:36But I wasn't that
20:36innocent girl anymore.
20:38There was a phrase
20:38I'd found in one of his books,
20:40a broken moon,
20:41a she-wolf
20:42who'd been claimed
20:43and discarded.
20:44The text said
20:45that's what I was.
20:46What strange things
20:48are you reading now?
20:50I tucked it behind my back.
20:52I'd memorized a passage
20:53and presented it to him
20:55like a prize.
20:56Look at you.
20:57Impressive.
20:58You sound like
20:59you're humeering a child.
21:01How old are you?
21:03Eighteen.
21:04I have almost a decade on you.
21:06To me,
21:07you are a child.
21:09The shaman had introduced
21:11new compounds,
21:12performed old rituals
21:13at the edge of firelight,
21:15burned offerings
21:16and whispered things
21:17I didn't catch.
21:18Speak a wish.
21:20You do it.
21:22I want you to be happy.
21:24What does that look like?
21:25Your body heals.
21:27You find a mate
21:27who deserves you.
21:28A pack of your own.
21:30A life that finally
21:31goes the way it should have.
21:33Do you mean that?
21:34Our eyes met.
21:36I looked away.
21:36Did I mean it?
21:37It didn't matter.
21:38What mattered was,
21:39the shaman's ritual
21:40apparently worked
21:41because Lucien decided
21:43he wanted to leave the cabin.
21:44I asked him
21:45where he wanted to go.
21:47He studied me
21:47for a long moment.
21:48There's a moon festival
21:49gathering tonight.
21:51I've heard the town
21:51lights the whole river.
21:52Festival fires
21:53were always burning somewhere.
21:55Nothing special.
21:56But since coming
21:56into Vivienne's household,
21:58I hadn't been
21:58to a single one.
21:59The longing
22:00had been sitting quietly
22:01in me for years.
22:02That night,
22:03a young noblewoman
22:04arrived with her escort.
22:05They said,
22:06used to getting
22:07everything she reached for.
22:08In the river of lantern light
22:09and moving bodies,
22:11she found Lucien in seconds.
22:12Loser buys dinner
22:13at the finest inn
22:14in the city.
22:15What do you say?
22:15And she walked straight up
22:16and challenged him
22:17to a game of darts.
22:18I've forgotten who won.
22:20I only remember
22:20the brightness in her eyes.
22:23Lucien turned to look at me.
22:24If you'd like to go,
22:26I'll wait outside.
22:27I hadn't behaved
22:27like a servant
22:28in front of him
22:29in a long time,
22:30but there were others watching.
22:31She didn't wait.
22:32She stepped around me
22:33cheerfully
22:34and reached for Lucien's chair.
22:35I watched them
22:36move into the crowd,
22:37and I felt something
22:38leave me
22:38that I hadn't known
22:39was mine to lose.
22:40I stood in the cold
22:41for a very long time.
22:43Then I remembered.
22:44Today was my birthday.
22:45She was the regent's
22:46only daughter.
22:47Every door
22:48in the wolf world
22:49was open to her.
22:50When the regent
22:50and his mate
22:51arrived at the pack mansion
22:52to formally propose the match,
22:54the matriarch
22:55looked more shaken
22:56than pleased.
22:57Through Briar,
22:58I learned the truth.
22:59It wasn't love
22:59at first sight.
23:00She'd fallen for Lucien
23:01over a decade ago,
23:03back when he was
23:03a young scholar
23:04with fire in his eyes
23:06and a future
23:06everyone could see.
23:07She'd been carrying it
23:08ever since,
23:09refusing every other offer.
23:11Lucien's potential mating
23:12became the pack's
23:13entire focus.
23:15Even the news
23:15that Kaylin's quartermate
23:16had conceived
23:17was forgotten.
23:18If the match succeeded,
23:19the matriarch
23:20would have been overjoyed,
23:21but Lucien was already
23:22bound by the spirit bond.
23:24To take a living mate,
23:25the bond had to be dissolved,
23:26and so I knew
23:27exactly what I had to do.
23:29Just as I'd once
23:30knelt before the matriarch
23:31and volunteered,
23:32I came before her again.
23:40I'd had the shaman
23:41check their spirit signatures
23:43as well.
23:43They aligned perfectly.
23:45She was born to rank,
23:46polished in every art,
23:48and her love for Lucien
23:49had outlasted
23:50years of silence.
23:51If he died,
23:52she would grieve him faithfully.
23:54There was nothing more
23:54I could offer
23:55that she couldn't match.
23:56So, what do you want
23:58in return?
24:00Money?
24:01Is it still about status?
24:02The matriarch squeezed
24:03my hands
24:04and asked what I wanted
24:05in return.
24:06I pressed the gold
24:07I'd saved over two years
24:08into her palm.
24:09I asked to be released
24:11from the Pax Bond records.
24:13I want to be a free wolf.
24:16Child,
24:17you could ask me
24:18for so much more.
24:20I held the bow
24:21and didn't move.
24:22Tears fell,
24:23one by one,
24:24onto the stone.
24:25Take me with you,
24:26okay?
24:28Outside the Pak Pao Shin,
24:29life was uncertain
24:30and hard.
24:32Inside,
24:32with the matriarch's protection,
24:34you would be safe.
24:35Stay,
24:36serve well,
24:37don't make enemies.
24:38The rest would come.
24:42Briar wept
24:42and pressed gold
24:43into my hands anyway.
24:45On the morning I left,
24:46many of the other handmaids
24:48came to see me off.
24:49The shaman also walked
24:50towards me in the crowd.
24:51May your ancestors
24:52guide your path.
24:56patted my shoulder
24:57and then walked
24:58towards the crowd.
25:01I turned around
25:02and walked towards the door.
25:04But in the crowd,
25:05I saw Karen also there.
25:07I was a slave.
25:08Yet every night,
25:09I had to take Luna's place
25:10and sleep with the Alpha.
25:12On the bed,
25:12I begged him to mark me
25:14and make me one of his mates.
25:15Please,
25:16make me your wife.
25:18What are you thinking?
25:21You're nothing but a slave.
25:23I close my eyes.
25:25Every wolf in the Pak knows
25:26Kaylin doesn't just love
25:28Lady Vivian.
25:29He worships her.
25:30So the next morning,
25:31I walked straight
25:32to the Pak matriarch
25:33and kneeled before her.
25:34I volunteered to marry
25:35her eldest son,
25:37Kaylin's dying brother.
25:38Firstly shocked,
25:39then the Pak matriarch's eyes
25:40filled with tears.
25:42After the ghost marriage is done,
25:45you'll have to keep
25:46Widowsville for your mate forever.
25:48My good child,
25:49have you truly thought this through?
25:52I will have no regrets.
25:54Alpha Kaylin and Lady Vivian
25:55had gone deathly pale.
25:57On the full moon night,
25:58Kaylin came to Vivian's room again.
26:00I watched them
26:01through the crack in the door,
26:02his voice low and honeyed,
26:04her laugh like silver.
26:05Vivian left to wash up,
26:07cheeks ruined with wanting.
26:09Before she went,
26:10she killed every candle,
26:11as always.
26:12An hour later,
26:13I stepped into the dark.
26:14His scent hit me first,
26:16and my traitorous body answered,
26:18heart slamming,
26:19skin tight.
26:20Why are you so cold?
26:22I was outside,
26:24watching the snow.
26:25Truth is,
26:26I'd been shivering at the threshold
26:28in a thin slip for an hour,
26:29waiting for her signal
26:30like a good little ghost.
26:33You smelled.
26:35A pause.
26:36My heart stopped.
26:37The tincture.
26:38So nice.
26:39His mouth found mine in the dark.
26:42His hardness reached my soul.
26:51Before dawn,
26:52I knelt at Vivian's feet
26:53and recited him.
26:54Every whisper,
26:55every mark blooming purple
26:57on my throat.
26:58Her expression curdled.
26:59Then she walked back into his arms.
27:01Kaylin caught her hair
27:02around one lazy finger.
27:04Been sneaking out
27:05to find yourself another wolf?
27:06She swatted him,
27:08pouting prettily,
27:09as if she were the one.
27:10Vivian was beautiful
27:11and chronically,
27:12devastatingly fragile.
27:14Kaylin saw her
27:15at the spring hunt gathering.
27:16He fell instantly,
27:18offered her the first mate rank
27:19before the night was over,
27:21perfect together.
27:22Everyone said so.
27:23As her bonded handmaid,
27:25I was genuinely happy for them
27:26until their bonding night.
27:31Three nights in a row,
27:32no completed bond,
27:34no mating mark.
27:35Overnight,
27:36Vivian became the pack's
27:37favorite joke.
27:38Desperate,
27:39Vivian invented the switch.
27:40Every night,
27:41candles out,
27:42handmade substitutes,
27:44masking tinctures
27:45rubbed into my skin
27:46until I smelled like her ghost.
27:48Of all her handmaids,
27:49only I was a viable double.
27:51Vivian and I were built
27:52from the same blueprint,
27:54the same narrow waist,
27:55the same pale slope
27:56of shoulder and throat.
27:57Side by side in daylight,
27:59the resemblance was unsettling.
28:01In total darkness,
28:02with the masking tinctures
28:03working through my skin,
28:05his wolf couldn't tell the difference.
28:06What Vivian hadn't accounted for,
28:08I was not fragile.
28:10She broke under Kaylin's hands.
28:12I did not.
28:13What she couldn't endure,
28:15I simply survived,
28:16body learning the architecture
28:18of his need,
28:19learning to anticipate it.
28:21Relax.
28:21Only three years.
28:23My body will recover.
28:25Then I will give you enough gold
28:26to live well outside the mansion.
28:29Think about it.
28:29My whole family's safety
28:30rested in her hands.
28:32I had no choice.
28:33One hour later,
28:35Vivian and Kaylin finally rose.
28:37I returned to my quarters briefly,
28:39then went in to lay out
28:40the morning meal.
28:44Why are you dressed like that?
28:45I didn't know how to answer.
28:47I pressed my lips together.
28:49Kaylin bit.
28:50Hard.
28:51Darling, you've forgotten
28:52Selina is mute.
28:53I nodded quickly.
28:55Serving Vivian meant
28:56constant proximity to Kaylin,
28:58and she was terrified of exposure.
29:00So she declared me mute.
29:02The entire pack believed it.
29:04Your little mute is striking.
29:06Sad, almost,
29:07how pretty she is.
29:08And what exactly does my alpha
29:09mean by that?
29:10Has she caught your eye?
29:12I haven't blamed you for anything yet,
29:13and you're already turning on me.
29:17Kaylin had pushed too far last night.
29:19I'd wept myself hoarse,
29:21then bitten him hard.
29:22He'd walked through silver and hellfire
29:25to earn his title,
29:26scars mapping him from throat to hip.
29:29He wouldn't care about a few teeth marks.
29:31This whole performance was foreplay.
29:34I don't know how much time passed.
29:36You insolent thing!
29:38You dared bite him?
29:39Are you challenging me?
29:40I had no time to defend myself.
29:43Vivian had me bound,
29:44dragged to the supply outbuilding.
29:46No food, no water.
29:48Kaylin had left for the border territories.
29:50However long he was gone,
29:52I stayed locked up.
29:53I was barely breathing
29:54when my sister found a way through.
29:56Briar had bribed the guard,
29:58slipped a bowl of broth under the door.
30:00She was my younger sister.
30:02Sister, what did you do
30:03to make the lady so angry?
30:04Briar, when will Kaylin be back?
30:06The guards say tonight,
30:07and he's going straight to the lady's room.
30:11What else was happening in the mansion?
30:12The alpha-haired,
30:13his wolf spirit is fading again.
30:14The pack healers say
30:15there's nothing left to do.
30:16They're preparing the rates.
30:17Lucian, the elder brother,
30:19cursed since birth, fading,
30:21never anchored to this world.
30:23He's never taken a mate.
30:24The matriarch doesn't want him to cross alone.
30:26She's looking for someone
30:27willing to complete a spirit bond.
30:30A spirit bond with a dying alpha heir,
30:32meant grieving him forever.
30:34No high-ranking female would consent.
30:36Not even the lower-ranked handmaids.
30:38At dusk, they released me.
30:39I'd be needed that night.
30:41Selina, I was impulsive.
30:43I meant to release you hours ago,
30:45but things got away from me.
30:46Don't hold it against me.
30:48Of course not, my lady.
30:49My lady, it has been three years.
30:52When will I leave the pack mansion?
30:53You want to leave?
30:54Yes.
30:55My body hasn't healed.
30:56Kaylin still needs you.
30:58If you insist on leave,
30:59I'll simply use Briar instead.
31:00Your sisters.
31:01The voice, the build.
31:02Close enough.
31:03How old is she?
31:03Thirteen or fourteen?
31:05Then,
31:06could Kaylin at least give me a rank?
31:09Reaching for status now?
31:11If I wanted Kaylin to take a new mate,
31:14I have a hundred candidates.
31:15You would never make that list.
31:17Don't bother trying to go through Kaylin directly.
31:20You're a convenience to him.
31:24Even if you ended up in his quarters permanently,
31:26I could have you removed with a single word.
31:31But every unmated female is supposed to be matched eventually.
31:35Eventually?
31:36Was I supposed to be her substitute?
31:38In bed?
31:39For the rest of my life?
31:41The gatekeeper's son is your age.
31:42When you turn sixteen next year, I'll arrange the match.
31:45The gatekeeper's son.
31:47A man with a child's mind.
31:49And fists like hammers.
31:51Hitting because it was the only thing he knew.
31:53Only by being bound to someone that broken,
31:56would I remain useful.
31:57And too far gone to threaten her.
32:00Kaylin returned.
32:01To find me kneeling.
32:03You're home!
32:04You must be exhausted!
32:06This girl broke the crystal chalice from the Western Alliance.
32:08I've had her kneeling.
32:10Kaylin stepped over me,
32:11without a glance.
32:13What's the status on my brother?
32:15I've asked every unmated female in the pack.
32:18A spirit bond sounds like a curse to them.
32:20None of the young wolves will agree.
32:21What's there to agree about?
32:23Find a female, threaten someone she loves, and it's done.
32:26That kind of coercion would be hard to hide from your mother.
32:29Enough gold and fear will find a willing body.
32:33And, if you handle this well,
32:36my mother might finally look at you differently.
32:40Anne.
32:40Every time Kaylin came back from the border,
32:43he spent the whole night making up for lost time.
32:46He was an alpha who'd spent weeks at war.
32:48He came home hungry.
32:50And he made that hunger my problem.
32:53That night, I gave him everything.
32:56Pushed past my own limits to matching.
32:58Why so eager tonight?
32:59Did you miss me?
33:01I rarely initiated.
33:03He noticed.
33:04Good girl.
33:05Near dawn, I came back to myself in pieces.
33:11Trying to run again?
33:15My wolf has always been scent sensitive.
33:21I've known about your lady's little switch since the beginning.
33:24No wonder.
33:25He grew bolder every time.
33:27Which meant he never held back.
33:29It was all for me.
33:31Then why won't you give me a rank?
33:33A rank?
33:34She's the one who brought you here.
33:36I'm not going to be the one to claim her handmaid.
33:39That would fracture our bond.
33:40She was right.
33:41A she-wolf taken for free.
33:44Why give her a title?
33:45What grows in the dark stays small.
33:49Speechless with joy?
33:50Thank you for your generosities, Alpha.
33:52I'm afraid I don't have the kind of luck to deserve it.
33:55You've shared my bed for years.
33:57Don't get ideas above your station.
33:58He didn't like greedy she-wolves.
34:00He had others.
34:02Bonded females.
34:03All with bloodlines.
34:05Gifts from allied packs.
34:07And yet, since Vivian came,
34:08he never touched them.
34:10The pack praised him for devotion.
34:12And he wore that praise like armor.
34:15A handmaid, born to serve,
34:18was never meant to stand beside him.
34:20The colder I became,
34:22I was born low.
34:24I don't deserve a rank.
34:25And I don't belong in your quarters.
34:27I only hope you and the lady are devoted to each other until the end.
34:30The next morning,
34:31Briar heard of Vivian's plan to marry me off to the gatekeeper's son.
34:34We served her faithfully.
34:35How can she be this cruel?
34:37That brute?
34:38Would be a slow death.
34:40The thought lingered,
34:41then twisted,
34:42into something darker.
34:43If I couldn't escape fate,
34:45I would choose it.
34:47I will take the spirit bond with Lucian.
34:49The matriarch stared,
34:51then broke into astonished relief.
34:53She asked my name,
34:54my birthdate,
34:55my bloodline.
34:56The pack shaman consulted the moon charts and looked up,
34:58nodding.
34:59This female's spirit signature aligns with the heirs in a way I have not seen in decades.
35:04She was born into hardship,
35:06which means she carries the kind of resilience that could anchor him.
35:10The bond will serve him well in the next life.
35:12Caelan and Vivian arrived quickly once word spread.
35:15They walked in together to find me sitting at the matriarch's feet,
35:18working the tension from her ankles.
35:20Caelan's voice came first,
35:21amused,
35:22sharp.
35:23This is the female who agreed to bond with my brother?
35:25Whoever's handmaid she is,
35:26she has a rare heart.
35:28Mother,
35:28you must reward her well.
35:29I turned and faced them.
35:31Caelan went very still.
35:32It's me,
35:33Alpha Caelan,
35:34Lady Vivian's.
35:38You're supposed to be mute.
35:39I can speak.
35:40My lady simply prefers I don't.
35:43Vivian's face turned to chalk.
35:44I didn't know your household contained such a loyal soul,
35:47but once this bond is sealed,
35:49you'll carry his grief for the rest of your days.
35:51Are you certain?
35:52I will never regret it.
35:54The hand hanging at Caelan's side curled into a fist.
35:57He stared at me like I had become something he didn't recognize.
36:00tell me what you want.
36:02Silver,
36:03land,
36:04titles,
36:05anything I can grant is yours.
36:07I turned and looked at Vivian.
36:09She held her smile together,
36:10but she took half a step back.
36:12After a long pause,
36:13I dropped my eyes.
36:14I have a younger sister,
36:16Briar.
36:16I ask that she be transferred to your personal household matriarch.
36:19She's already part of this pack.
36:21I'll see to her for the rest of her life.
36:23Vivian's smile pulled thin.
36:26Mother,
36:27Briar came with my dowie pack.
36:28She's my bonded household.
36:30I'd hate to be ungenerous,
36:31but she's a handmaid.
36:32Mother wants her.
36:34Give her over.
36:34Caelan's voice cut across hers,
36:36flat and final.
36:37The matriarch's expression had gone stone cold.
36:40Bring the bond papers.
36:43I will find Briar a secure place before I pass.
36:47You don't have to worry about her ever again.
36:50I hadn't expected the matriarch to think about her entire future.
36:53Moved beyond words.
36:55Thank you, matriarch.
36:57I promise to care for Lucian with everything I have.
37:00When the matriarch spoke of her eldest son,
37:02she couldn't stop the break in her voice.
37:04I was pregnant with Lucian during the Dark Coven War.
37:09The fear marked him at birth.
37:11He came into the world without breath,
37:14without a wolf spirit.
37:16His father had returned victorious that same night,
37:19and brought someone with him from the deep forest.
37:21A shaman.
37:22The shaman's methods were outside anything the pack had seen.
37:25He brought Lucian back from the edge of nothing.
37:28It should have been a miracle,
37:29but the shaman warned them.
37:31Pulling a spirit back across that threshold
37:33was a transgression against the laws of wolf and moon.
37:36Lucian could live,
37:37but only for 30 years,
37:39no more.
37:39And so it had been.
37:40Lucian had grown up slight,
37:42unable to shift into warrior form,
37:44but razor sharp in mind.
37:46A natural strategist.
37:47A scholar.
37:48He'd won council honors young,
37:50but the older he got,
37:51the weaker his body became.
37:53Eventually, he stopped leaving his territory altogether,
37:56retreating to a lakeside cabin
37:58at the edge of the pack mansion.
37:59Since I had agreed to the spirit bond,
38:01I was to remain at his side.
38:03Word was that he didn't allow anyone to serve him,
38:06just the shaman,
38:07who had stayed all these years.
38:08The shaman brought me into the cabin
38:10while Lucian was asleep.
38:11I looked at his face.
38:12His lashes trembled faintly with each shallow breath.
38:15He was two years older than Kaelin, 27.
38:18The brothers looked nothing alike.
38:20Kaelin was bronze and hard-edged
38:22from years of combat training.
38:24Lucian was fine-boned,
38:25pale as snow,
38:26almost startlingly beautiful
38:28in a way that made you forget to breathe.
38:30I spent the afternoon learning his preferences.
38:32When the sun touched the horizon,
38:34Lucian finally woke.
38:35It was time for his medicine.
38:37I'd spent the afternoon learning to brew it from the shaman.
38:39So you're the female who plans to bond with my corpse?
38:42Yes.
38:43Get up.
38:44He picked up the bowl calmly.
38:49I don't want it.
38:51What are you going to do about it?
38:52Lucian looked up,
38:53a thread of provocation in his gaze.
38:55The shaman had told me Lucian
38:57was a person of pure instinct,
38:59all feeling,
38:59no armor,
39:00earned honors at 15,
39:02and had the makings of something extraordinary ahead of him.
39:05Then one evening,
39:06a hunting trip with Kaelin
39:08ended with Lucian falling off the cliff
39:10and drown in the water,
39:12his wolf spirit seizing,
39:13and three days of unconsciousness.
39:15The matriarch had broken every servant in his household
39:18for failing him,
39:19and sold the rest.
39:20Lucian didn't treat servants like livestock.
39:23He'd read too much
39:24and thought too hard to do that.
39:27Alpha hair,
39:30I genuinely can't force you.
39:32But since we're going to be bonded eventually,
39:35perhaps...
39:35I looked down at the dark liquid.
39:37Perhaps I should start exercising a mate's authority now.
39:41Either you drink this,
39:44or...
39:44Or what?
39:46The shaman had told me
39:47Lucian had refused medicine for six months.
39:50That was why he was hovering at the edge of nothing.
39:52At this rate,
39:53he wouldn't survive to spring.
40:08When I looked at him again,
40:10vivid color had bloomed across his face,
40:12like dawn breaking over frost.
40:14Those butterfly-winged lashes were trembling.
40:17With outrage,
40:18I thought,
40:18distantly,
40:19of every arrogant she-wolf
40:21Cailin had ever teased
40:22into furious,
40:23helpless blushing.
40:24Lucian's expression was painfully similar.
40:27A prick of guilt moved through me.
40:29I forced my own pulse to slow,
40:31keeping my voice steady.
40:32If you won't drink,
40:33I'll be forced to do that again.
40:52Alpha hair,
40:53your color has improved over these past few days.
40:55Your skin isn't as cold as it was.
40:57That's the medicine working.
40:58Medicine is useless.
40:59The shaman works hard to brew it.
41:02If you pour it out every time,
41:03he'll be heartbroken.
41:05Watch.
41:07Testing the temperature alone
41:08takes constant checking
41:10to preserve the potency.
41:12I've only been doing it a few days
41:13and my hands already look like this.
41:15He pressed his lips together,
41:17said nothing,
41:18and drank the rest of the bowl
41:19without being asked.
41:21After that,
41:22he never made me beg him
41:23to drink his medicine again.
41:26Half a month later,
41:27the shaman gave the matriarch his report.
41:30Lucian had genuinely improved,
41:32no longer at death's edge.
41:35Could it be a final surge before the end?
41:37No, it's real healing.
41:40This one is responsible.
41:42I told you before,
41:42her wolf spirit signature
41:43is a natural compliment to his.
41:45She steadies him.
41:47The matriarch looked satisfied.
41:49When she turned to me,
41:50her eyes were almost tender.
41:52How has Selina been caring for you?
41:58She's been taking very good care of me.
42:03Alpha Lucian may not know,
42:05but when Selina was serving in my household,
42:07her skill at attending to Caelan
42:09was quite exceptional as well.
42:11Such a good servant.
42:13The air went very still.
42:16Is that how you speak
42:17to your future sister-in-law?
42:20Vivian,
42:20you are young,
42:22but that is no excuse
42:23for ignorance of pack law.
42:26Shut up!
42:27Stop embarrassing yourself!
42:30Days later,
42:31did you hear about it?
42:33Vivian had found another substitute.
42:35She looked for a maid again?
42:36Not from the pack's own hand aids.
42:38She'd bought a woman from outside,
42:39trained and shaped
42:40to match her voice and build exactly.
42:42How do you know?
42:42Because Caelan lit every lantern
42:44in the room that night,
42:45and when he saw what he saw,
42:46he beat woman half to death
42:47and threw her at Vivian's feet.
42:49Vivian had fainted.
42:50And then,
42:51he said if she refused
42:52to truly share his bed,
42:53he would never come to her rooms again.
42:54They're sleeping in separate dens now.
42:56Separate dens meant
42:57every wolf in the pack
42:58knew the bond was broken.
43:00No mate's devotion.
43:01No matriarch's approval.
43:03No pups.
43:04No wonder Vivian looked like
43:05she hadn't slept in a month.
43:12He looked fragile in the lake wind,
43:14unsteadying.
43:15I went back to get his cloak.
43:22Is it you?
43:26Was it always you?
43:29Answer me.
43:31You think you can play mute with me again?
43:39Silence won't save you.
43:42I don't need your voice
43:43to confirm it.
43:45One night,
43:46and I'd know for certain.
43:47Had he lost his mind?
43:50I spent three years with a woman,
43:53and she's going to be bonded
43:54to my brother.
43:55How dare you make fools of us both?
43:58Especially me!
43:59Would a rank at my side
44:01really be worse
44:01than grieving a dead man forever?
44:03Do you actually want to bond
44:05with a corpse?
44:08I just want to survive!
44:13If I didn't do this,
44:15she'd give me to someone
44:16who'd break me.
44:18A formal bond,
44:19even a broken one,
44:20would have made me untouchable.
44:23Useful to no one.
44:26Forced to stay her shadow forever.
44:29Before he could recover,
44:30I stomped hard on his foot
44:32and ran.
44:32I was still stumbling
44:33when I rounded the corner.
44:35What took you so long?
44:39I smiled,
44:40walked over,
44:42and settled the cloak
44:42around his shoulders.
44:43But he simply brushed
44:44my hand away.
44:45Somehow he lost balance
44:46and fell.
44:47His chest had a severe bruise.
44:49Just leave me.
44:50I am not your burden.
44:54Lucian liked to sit there.
44:56Open a book in the shade.
44:57Why did you really agree to the spirit bond?
45:01I didn't want to be given to the given
45:03to the gatekeeper's son.
45:05I thought it would be something like that.
45:08What is it to guess that it would be like this?
45:10The shaman pressed a small wooden box into my hands.
45:13Should I start calling you mate of the alpha?
45:15Please don't.
45:17My future, most likely,
45:19was a silent room in a shrine,
45:21grieving him in his name until I followed.
45:23With the shaman gone,
45:24I took on more responsibility,
45:26including helping Lucian bathe.
45:31I watched his ears
45:32and tried not to smile.
45:34Had no one ever helped him bathe?
45:36Kaelin had always kept
45:37half a dozen female attendants for bathing.
45:40A younger version of me
45:41would have died of the blush alone.
45:43But I wasn't that innocent girl anymore.
45:45There was a phrase I'd found
45:46in one of his books,
45:47a broken moon,
45:49a she-wolf who'd been claimed and discarded.
45:52The text said that's what I was.
45:54What strange things are you reading now?
45:58I tucked it behind my back.
45:59I'd memorized a passage
46:01and presented it to him like a prize.
46:03Look at you.
46:04Impressive.
46:05You sound like you're humeering a child.
46:09How old are you?
46:10Eighteen.
46:11I have almost a decade on you.
46:13To me,
46:15you are a child.
46:17The shaman had introduced new compounds,
46:19performed old rituals at the edge of firelight,
46:22burned offerings,
46:23and whispered things I didn't catch.
46:25Speak a wish.
46:28You do it.
46:30I want you to be happy.
46:32What does that look like?
46:33Your body heals.
46:34You find a mate who deserves you.
46:36A pack of your own.
46:37A life that finally goes the way it should have.
46:40Do you mean that?
46:42Our eyes met.
46:43I looked away.
46:44Did I mean it?
46:45It didn't matter.
46:46What mattered was,
46:47the shaman's ritual apparently worked,
46:49because Lucian decided he wanted to leave the cabin.
46:51I asked him where he wanted to go.
46:54He studied me for a long moment.
46:56There's a moon festival gathering tonight.
46:58I've heard the town lights the whole river.
47:00Festival fires were always burning somewhere.
47:02Nothing special.
47:03But since coming into Vivienne's household,
47:05I hadn't been to a single one.
47:07The longing had been sitting quietly in me for years.
47:09That night,
47:11a young noblewoman arrived with her escort.
47:13They said,
47:13used to getting everything she reached for.
47:15In the river of lantern light and moving bodies,
47:18she found Lucian in seconds.
47:19Loser buys dinner at the finest inn in the city.
47:22What do you say?
47:23And she walked straight up
47:24and challenged him to a game of darts.
47:26I've forgotten who won.
47:27I only remember the brightness in her eyes.
47:30Lucian turned to look at me.
47:32If you'd like to go,
47:33I'll wait outside.
47:34I hadn't behaved like a servant
47:36in front of him in a long time,
47:37but there were others watching.
47:39She didn't wait.
47:40She stepped around me cheerfully
47:41and reached for Lucian's chair.
47:43I watched them move into the crowd,
47:44and I felt something leave me
47:46that I hadn't known was mine to lose.
47:48I stood in the cold for a very long time.
47:50Then I remembered.
47:51Today was my birthday.
47:52She was the regent's only daughter.
47:54Every door in the wolf world was open to her.
47:57When the regent and his mate
47:58arrived at the pack mansion
48:00to formally propose the match,
48:01the matriarch looked more shaken than pleased.
48:04Through Briar, I learned the truth.
48:06It wasn't love at first sight.
48:08She'd fallen for Lucian over a decade ago,
48:10back when he was a young scholar
48:12with fire in his eyes
48:13and a future everyone could see.
48:15She'd been carrying it ever since,
48:17refusing every other offer.
48:18Lucian's potential mating
48:20became the pack's entire focus.
48:22Even the news that Kaylin's quartermate
48:24had conceived was forgotten.
48:25If the match succeeded,
48:27the matriarch would have been overjoyed,
48:28but Lucian was already bound by the spirit bond.
48:31To take a living mate,
48:32the bond had to be dissolved,
48:34and so I knew exactly what I had to do.
48:36Just as I'd once knelt before the matriarch
48:38and volunteered,
48:40I came before her again.
48:43I'm willing to step aside.
48:45I want Lucian to have this.
48:48I'd had the shaman check
48:49their spirit signatures as well.
48:51They aligned perfectly.
48:52She was born to rank,
48:54polished in every art,
48:55and her love for Lucian
48:56had outlasted years of silence.
48:58If he died,
48:59she would grieve him faithfully.
49:01There was nothing more I could offer
49:02that she couldn't match.
49:04So, what do you want in return?
49:07Money?
49:08Is it still about status?
49:10The matriarch squeezed my hands
49:11and asked what I wanted in return.
49:13I pressed the gold I'd saved
49:15over two years into her palm.
49:17I asked to be released
49:18from the pack's bond records.
49:20I want to be a free wolf.
49:23Child,
49:25you could ask me for so much more.
49:27I held the bow and didn't move.
49:29Tears fell,
49:30one by one,
49:31onto the stone.
49:32Take me with you, okay?
49:35Outside the pack paushing,
49:37life was uncertain and hard.
49:39Inside,
49:40with the matriarch's protection,
49:41you would be safe.
49:42Stay,
49:43serve well,
49:44don't make enemies.
49:46The rest would come.
49:49Briar wept
49:50and pressed gold into my hands anyway.
49:52On the morning I left,
49:53many of the other handmaids
49:55came to see me off.
49:56The shaman also walked
49:57towards me in the crowd.
49:59May your ancestors guide your path.
50:03Patted my shoulder
50:04and then walked towards the crowd.
50:08I turned around
50:09and walked towards the door.
50:11But in the crowd,
50:12I saw Karen also there.
50:14Kaelin grabbed me to the corner.
50:16He caged me against the wall
50:17and looked at me
50:18like he wanted to devour me.
50:20Say the word
50:21and I'll take you
50:22as a formal mate.
50:25Serve me like you used to
50:27and I'll give you rank
50:28above the others.
50:30I stared at him
50:31for a long time.
50:37Don't look at me like that.
50:40What?
50:41You think Lucian's
50:42gonna come running after you?
50:43You're deluding yourself.
50:46He's probably not even thinking of you.
50:48Once his body improved,
50:50he didn't need you anymore.
50:51You were useful
50:51and now you're spare.
50:53And don't expect him
50:54to remember you in a year.
50:55He didn't even come to see you off.
50:57That tells you exactly
50:58where you rank to him.
51:00Something in my chest seized.
51:02The truth was,
51:03Lucian and I had been
51:04in a cold war for weeks.
51:06It had started on the way
51:06home from the festival.
51:08If I was happy.
51:12Yes, the warmth vanished
51:13from Lucian's face.
51:15Happy about the fireworks?
51:17No.
51:17Watching you walk with her,
51:19you look like you belong together.
51:20My wish is starting to work.
51:21That made me happy.
51:22You see me with another female
51:23and that's what makes you happy?
51:24She's extraordinary.
51:25She might become
51:26the Pax Future First Luna.
51:27Of course I'm happy.
51:28Selina,
51:30I didn't know
51:31you could be so heartless.
51:32My parents had died years ago
51:34in the household
51:35where I was born into service.
51:36I had no home to return to.
51:38I'd planned to head south,
51:40find a city where
51:41no one knew my name.
51:42But the second Caelan's
51:43and Vivian's faces
51:44floated up behind my eyes,
51:46I was on my feet,
51:47booking passage
51:48on the first river ferry south
51:50before I'd finished the thought.
51:53Property deeds.
51:55Golds, a house,
51:56a plot of land.
51:57Somewhere in the south.
51:59I tried to remember
52:00when the shaman
52:01had touched my bag.
52:02He'd had his hands on it
52:03during the send-off,
52:04but where had he gotten this?
52:06The ferry listed suddenly.
52:07I nearly went over the rail.
52:11I scrambled upright
52:12and found boots
52:13surrounding me
52:14on three sides.
52:15Then I was bound,
52:16carried ashore,
52:17and pushed into a carriage.
52:20When the blindfold came down,
52:27Vivian, smiling.
52:28I couldn't stop
52:30the bitter laugh
52:30from escaping.
52:31Briar had been right.
52:32For all the years
52:33I'd served her,
52:34and this was still
52:35where we ended up.
52:36They brought out women
52:37with strong hands
52:38to deal with me.
52:39The blows were
52:40professional and thorough.
52:41She'd grown thinner
52:42since I last saw her.
52:43The delicate elegance
52:45that had once made her
52:46untouchable
52:46now just made her look
52:48breakable.
52:48What it didn't do
52:49was protect her
52:50inside the pack.
52:53I used your body
52:54as a convenience
52:54and you had the nerve
52:55to find your own way out.
52:58Ungrateful.
52:59Traitorous.
53:00Have you forgotten
53:01what you swore?
53:02Loyal service.
53:04Always.
53:05Loyal service.
53:06She wasn't wrong,
53:07but loyalty
53:08is a two-way bond,
53:09and she had never
53:10honored her half.
53:11Waited for the anger
53:12to burn out
53:13so I could leave.
53:14I overestimated
53:15her capacity for mercy.
53:16Let's pray.
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