- 7 minutes ago
Taskmaster's New Year Treat 2024 [Full Movie] [Must See]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01D'Urgh!
00:07D'Urgh!
00:11Arrgh!
00:14D'Urgh!
00:14D'Urgh!
00:25D'Urgh!
00:26D'Urgh!
00:29D'Urgh!
00:30D'Urgh!
00:31D'Urgh!
00:32D'Urgh!
00:32D'Urgh!
00:34D'Urgh!
00:35D'Urgh!
00:35Hello! I'm Deb Davis!
00:37Welcome, everybody, to the Taskmaster New Year's treat!
00:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:44Yes, it's our once-a-year chance
00:47to turn our backs on the wretched army of comedians
00:50and shine the unforgiving light
00:52into the face of those famous for other things.
00:55Sure, these people have achieved success in their chosen field,
00:58but will they fare well at completing pointless tasks
01:01under the watchful eye of a lanky despot
01:03and his hairy snaggletooth boy servant?
01:05LAUGHTER
01:07D'Urgh!
01:08D'Urgh!
01:09In the event of one of them being slightly better than the others,
01:12this is their prize!
01:15Ooh!
01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:18It's a golden pair of Daddy Big Fun's eyebrows!
01:22LAUGHTER
01:22What bizarre combination of individuals have been strong-armed
01:27into the coliseum of nonsense this year, I hear you cry?
01:30I shall tell you, here they are.
01:32Please welcome Deborah Meadow!
01:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36Hoji Radical!
01:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:38Lenny Rash!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:41Steve Backshall!
01:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44And Zoe Moore!
01:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:48And next to me is a man who confided in me
01:50that his ritual for New Year is simple.
01:53On the 12th day, he takes down his Christmas decorations,
01:55and on the 13th day, he takes whatever awful gift
01:58his in-laws have brought him to a charity shop.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:02I don't know at all!
02:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:09Well, I've been a busy bee.
02:10Here we go.
02:10I've been so busy over the New Year period, Greg.
02:13Yep.
02:13You know how I like to write my letters?
02:15You love to write letters, don't you?
02:16I wrote 12 now.
02:17Genuinely, I have sent this.
02:18It goes, Cher Madame.
02:19They always start with Cher Madame.
02:21As you know, I work with a really special guy.
02:23Everyone loves this guy.
02:25And I'm sure, Madame, you'd love him too,
02:27and I think you should invite him to your extraordinary hat.
02:30You'd need a lot of wax, sure, but I'm happy to help with that,
02:32so please let me know what else I can do
02:34to sort out a statue of Greg Davis at Madame Tussauds
02:36as soon as possible.
02:38LAUGHTER
02:39I've sent it to every department there, genuinely.
02:41General enquiries.
02:42LAUGHTER
02:43The press department.
02:44There's a section for bloggers and influencers.
02:46Yeah.
02:46It's pretty tragic, isn't it?
02:48As far as Madame Tussauds are concerned,
02:50I've been getting someone to write in to request my own wax.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:54I would visit so often.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:57This is your best ever bunter section.
02:59Is it?
03:00LAUGHTER
03:00Imagine if it works.
03:01Imagine if it works.
03:05Right, let's get the new year treat started with the prize task.
03:08What's the category, Alex?
03:10It's this.
03:11The most fun thing to be carrying
03:13when you enter a room full of people you don't know.
03:16Ooh!
03:17You sometimes carry me into a room, don't you, Greg?
03:18Yeah.
03:18Like this sort of human briefcase.
03:20You pop me down, open me up,
03:21and take out your laptop.
03:23LAUGHTER
03:24Five points for the one Greg thinks
03:26is the most fun,
03:27and the winner will take home all five things,
03:29plus those gorgeous golden eyebrows.
03:31OK, let us begin with Deborah Meaden.
03:34Hello.
03:34Hello.
03:35You may or may not remember, I do have beef with you.
03:38Oh.
03:39Deborah and I met on a show many, many years ago.
03:43And in the bar afterwards, I pitched an idea to her.
03:50I didn't think it would take 15 years to get my revenge,
03:53but here we are, Deborah.
03:56It is a genuine idea, it's horizontal glass.
03:59When you're lying on a sofa and you're enjoying a drink,
04:02it's unfortunate that you have to sit up sometimes.
04:05So I invented this glass that's got like a straw comes out the bottom
04:08so that you don't have to move your chin.
04:10Horizontic glass?
04:11Horizontic glass.
04:12I'm in.
04:12Deborah said, were you serious you thought that was a good idea?
04:15And I went, I actually do think it's a good idea.
04:18And she said, it's not.
04:20LAUGHTER
04:22Anyway, let's get on with giving you one point.
04:25What have you...
04:26What have you...
04:29I have bought a bingo cage for calling bingo numbers on.
04:34Here it is.
04:34What a nice one.
04:36OK.
04:38LAUGHTER
04:38I don't know whether it's fun, Deborah.
04:42You see you're laughing already, aren't you?
04:44I'm laughing, yes, because I'm imagining the awful silence as you walk in.
04:49OK.
04:49So I used to, one of my early businesses, I had a prize bingo.
04:53And the one thing I learnt is that everybody loves a game of bingo.
04:57They don't.
04:59LAUGHTER
05:02Barium sulphate, 28.
05:07Ah, you're a weird man.
05:09Good.
05:10Welcome.
05:11What have you bought us that would make things fun?
05:14A robot puppy.
05:15Here it is.
05:16Yeah, OK.
05:18So, the problem is, I don't know how many people are in the room
05:20and I wouldn't want anyone to go without.
05:22So, six robot puppies doing a synchronised dance.
05:27Five, six, seven, eight!
05:29LAUGHTER
05:31LAUGHTER
05:32Yeah, that's Julie in the back.
05:35She's problematic, but I like her.
05:38They've all got names.
05:41APPLAUSE
05:42Yeah.
05:49Are they yours?
05:51Yeah, I've been training them for the last two weeks.
05:54LAUGHTER
05:54He genuinely has.
05:56I mean, my mind's blown.
05:57Yeah.
05:58OK, Lenny, can you beat seven dancing robot dogs?
06:01Six.
06:03No, if it's six, I can.
06:06LAUGHTER
06:10You?
06:12Erm, it's quite tricky, because obviously I'm the only kid here, and I sort of wanted to fit in somehow.
06:18So, I bought, er, beer and cigarettes.
06:21LAUGHTER
06:28So, this is what Lenny caught in.
06:32LAUGHTER
06:32He walked into the room like that.
06:35And then, in actual fact, what's inside is this.
06:39And cigarettes.
06:42That's squash.
06:43LAUGHTER
06:49I cannot think of an event that wouldn't be made more fun by you turning up with a cigarette and
06:55beer.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:56OK, wonderful.
06:58Steve.
06:59I've got the most venomous animal in the world in a jar.
07:02Someone's up the stakes.
07:05What is it?
07:06It's called an Irukandji.
07:07It's a kind of box jellyfish.
07:09And they are the most venomous creature in the world, with the power to stop a human heart faster than
07:13any other animal.
07:14Keep it light, man.
07:17LAUGHTER
07:18There it is.
07:18Oh, it's tiny.
07:20Would it kill someone?
07:21They absolutely can, but the venom gives you an impending sense of doom.
07:25So, you have this overwhelming sensation that the world is going to end once you've been stung by an Irukandji.
07:31It's the sort of feeling that Deborah's feeling just before the points are given.
07:34LAUGHTER
07:36OK, Zoe.
07:37Erm, I have brought with me a one-man band, because I've always wanted one.
07:42Yep.
07:43And I thought it would be quite, you know...
07:45Good to put it on the budget.
07:46LAUGHTER
07:48Who would not want that?
07:51I don't know.
07:53I don't know whether I want Zoe Paul.
07:56LAUGHTER
07:56The knee could be banjo and the thing going on the back and then I want to work.
08:02LAUGHTER
08:05No, Zoe, I'm a big fan of your work, but I'm not going to find that fun.
08:10I had one at my wedding, I like them.
08:12First dance.
08:13Yeah?
08:14LAUGHTER
08:16It's so weird.
08:18Right, we need to know which is the least fun.
08:21Well, you know which is the least fun.
08:23Deborah, you're off the mark with one point.
08:24Sorry, Deborah.
08:26Yours is tricky, Steve, cos I think it's a remarkable thing to take to a party,
08:30but I think most people would go, he's a psychopath!
08:33LAUGHTER
08:35But is it more fun than Zoe Ball with a one-man band?
08:39Yeah, it is more fun than that, yeah.
08:42Two points to Zoe, three points to Steve.
08:45OK, got it.
08:45Now we're up with the big guns.
08:48LAUGHTER
08:48I always knew it would come to this.
08:51LAUGHTER
08:52I can't separate them.
08:54Five points each.
08:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:01Right, it's Papa Tash time.
09:03What have you got, Alex?
09:04Well, Papa Greg, it's time for some Papa Doms.
09:07LAUGHTER
09:21Ooh, food. Food and letters.
09:23Food, letters and a glass.
09:24Yes.
09:25Is this your sort of thing?
09:27Erm, Scrabble?
09:29Yeah.
09:30That's a coincidence, there's nothing like Scrabble.
09:32There's nothing like Scrabble?
09:33No.
09:34Do you use cloches a lot at home?
09:35No.
09:36Mum doesn't make milkshacks.
09:38She makes more like microwave meals and pot noodles.
09:40LAUGHTER
09:40Oh, I like something.
09:42What's under that?
09:43Oh.
09:45Ooh.
09:46Oh.
09:47Ooh!
09:48Are those Papa Doms?
09:49Maybe.
09:50I love a Papa Doms.
09:53I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?
09:55Eat these Papa Doms.
09:57Hurrah!
09:59After each mouthful,
10:01you must use a letter of the alphabet from your vocabulary.
10:03Then either compliment Greg or insult Alex.
10:07I don't want to insult you.
10:09I like to be insulted.
10:10Oh, you like to be insulted.
10:11OK.
10:12Your insults and compliments must all be different.
10:16If you use a loss letter at any time,
10:17ten grams will be added to your final Papa Doms weight.
10:21Most Papa Doms eat and wins.
10:24You have a maximum of ten minutes.
10:25Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle.
10:29Like, let's say if I got rid of eight,
10:30I can't say a word with eight in it.
10:32Mm-hm.
10:34What?!
10:34This is...
10:35This is a travesty!
10:38APPLAUSE
10:44Are you all Papa Doms fans?
10:46Uh-uh.
10:46Not anymore.
10:47Oh.
10:49Good.
10:49Well, I hope you've got some insults.
10:50So, I wrote a few down, uh, that you could have used.
10:53Wonky Tooth, Sesame Street character,
10:55Cry Baby Longneck, Andy Murray look-alike.
10:57These are just a few.
10:58Hair-covered horse dong.
11:00These are just some of you...
11:01..that you could have had.
11:02Shall we crack on?
11:03Yes.
11:04Our first two number crunches are...
11:06Deborah Meaden and Steve Backshaw.
11:09So, mouthful letter, insult.
11:18WHISTLE BLOWS
11:20Alex, I don't like your shoes.
11:26After every mouthful, you must lose a letter.
11:28OK, that's not even a mouthful.
11:30No.
11:31I haven't swallowed yet.
11:33Right, good to know.
11:34No.
11:36Is that not a mouthful?
11:37I haven't swallowed yet, but I am going to get my mouthful.
11:39No.
11:41Greg, you're my favourite comedian of all time.
11:44Zed is going in.
11:46Greg is a lovely man.
11:53Alex, that shirt needs a tie.
11:55I'm a serious businesswoman.
11:57I've heard that.
11:57I do deals every day.
11:59People take me very seriously.
12:05Greg, you are my perfect man.
12:07B.
12:08B.
12:08Alex is meaner than I thought.
12:12Wow.
12:14Oh.
12:17Is this how you do it in the restaurants, don't we?
12:23Alex, I never liked the horn section.
12:26Do you feel like they're coming quite naturally to you?
12:28Didn't have to work at that one.
12:32Mmm.
12:33Lovely.
12:34Lovely you said.
12:35Did I say lovely?
12:39Happy with you?
12:40Water.
12:42Are these vegan?
12:43Alex, you will always be a sidekick.
12:46You seem to be enjoying.
12:54Moron
12:56You said the B word
13:01We're into the final one minute 40 seconds
13:03Is it over yet?
13:08It's not over, 20 seconds
13:13Noobs
13:17I only got a poppadom on one eyebrow
13:24That's your time up
13:33Final image was quite powerful of you Steve there. Just the thought of poppadoms now makes me wretch
13:39Yeah, rightly your insults were deliciously specific to Alex and I know for a fact
13:46Actually hurt his feet
13:50I've never liked the horn section
13:54It's absolutely delicious
13:55Five and a half poppadoms you got through in ten minutes which is fast. It was very impressive
14:00Deborah was your strategy just eat all the poppadoms
14:05It was actually did Deborah do any compliments or she did that I was nice I think I mean they
14:10both actually made quite a few mistakes
14:12Unfortunately, so every time you made a mistake ten grams will be added to your total. You made 24 mistakes.
14:17I made 24
14:18They've made 38
14:21Not even eating anything you would have done much better
14:27All right, so we must stop this treat for a few minutes. We'll see you back here shortly
14:40Thank you
14:41Hello and welcome back to our new year treat what was happening before the break please Alex
14:46We have a poppadom eating task in play and so far Deborah and Steve
14:50Forgot they weren't supposed to use the letters they'd remove from their vocabulary
14:53And now for some more of the same with Koji Lenny and Zoe
14:57Can I go get some water?
15:02First thing I'm going to do, please sir, can I get a drink?
15:05You may
15:05I'm going, honey, I'm just checking
15:09You absolute beauties
15:11Still here, we're still here
15:13Still smashing it up
15:14There's something in, is it sauces?
15:17Can I dip the
15:18Oh!
15:20See, this is lovely
15:21Hey!
15:28Yippee!
15:29I feel like one of those miniature monkeys
15:31It's about to see a backflip
15:37Okay
15:38We've lost his head
15:39Alex has weird knees
15:41Weird knees?
15:43Yeah
15:43You're a mean man
15:46I didn't like your hoodie this morning
15:48Really?
15:49Yeah
15:52Oh!
15:54Alex!
15:55You're so hairy!
15:59No fingers
16:01Wait
16:02Question
16:03It says eat the poppadoms
16:05Doesn't say he has to
16:16Trueanicses
16:16he looks so sweaty Hairy
16:18and sweaty quack,
16:19right He in the
16:21Rotten Oh
16:23my God
16:23I'm losing
16:24son I'm all
16:25right I feel like
16:27I'm losing a lot of
16:29toys
16:33It smells good have you met him in my head it's most that pack over bond
16:47Sauce pops calling Greg
17:02If there's one thing I've learned in my years of watching this show Alex, I know you put anything in
17:08your mouth
17:09I plan to use that to my advantage today
17:20My taste
17:26Melting melting
17:29Oh
17:34Well, I feel quite hurt
17:42I think this is your problem in the context of this stupid show Zoe. You're too nice
17:47Do you want me to help you? I'll write an insult that for you to say to Alex, okay?
17:51I think it's just training just to bring out your dark side
17:58Hi Zoe
17:59You wank flap
18:00There
18:00Yes
18:02That was crazy, isn't it?
18:04Thank you
18:05Thank you for that
18:06Thank you
18:07Thank you
18:08Apologies to Lenny's parents
18:10I hear it look worse from my mum's right now
18:16Lenny, you did throw a few nice insults and when you said pig
18:22We didn't include all your compliments, there were some pretty good ones to you. Lovely hair, wonderful posture, perfect hot
18:26fab fit muscle
18:30You know it
18:31You know it
18:56Thank you
18:58Thank you
19:00Yeah, yeah, yeah
19:00So in the end, each of the poppadoms was kind of irrelevant. It was all about how many mistakes they
19:04made
19:04Yes
19:04We knew Debra 24 actually the least mistakes Debra compared to 38 for Steve 56 for Zoe 85 by you
19:11Lenny and 131
19:15I think that's magnificent
19:17Koji produced 97 poppadoms
19:19Comes in last place you get one point Lenny produced 64
19:23Zoe 41
19:25Steve 24
19:26Debra only produced 15 poppadoms in the end so she gets five points
19:30There it is
19:30Here we go
19:34Here we go
19:34Can we have a look at a lovely big scoreboard, Alex?
19:36Alright, it's close. We have two people in joint third and two people in joint first and that's Lenny and
19:42Steve
19:43Ooh
19:43There we go
19:44Unexpected
19:45Yeah
19:47On we go
19:48OK
19:49And just like the time you caught me drawing you in the shower, this one involves an awkward portrait
20:07It makes me feel important
20:09You are important, Steve
20:10Not used to seeing my name in lights
20:12Well, I've got quite a serious question to ask you Lenny
20:15Alright
20:15Can I ask you a, well, quite a personal question Debra?
20:18You can, I might not answer it
20:19How long does it take you to eat an orange?
20:22How long does it take you to eat an orange?
20:24Erm
20:25Might want to give myself a bit of extra time considering where I am, what kind of show this is
20:29This isn't part of this, this is just a general
20:31I don't believe you, Alex
20:34I'm going to go for three minutes
20:37Three minutes
20:39Ten minutes
20:39Ten minutes
20:40Four minutes and 45 seconds
20:44Is that your final answer?
20:46Six minutes
20:47And 23 seconds
20:50OK
20:50Er, I reckon I could do an orange in about 45 seconds
20:54That's pretty cool
20:55It's one of my special talents
20:57OK
20:57You can open the task now
20:59OK
21:00Draw a picture of yourself eating some fruit on this tablet
21:04You may not touch the touch screen with any part of your hands
21:09You have as long as it takes you to eat an orange
21:15On reflection, I reckon it could take me over an hour
21:20Also throughout the task, you must become increasingly angry
21:24Your time starts now
21:27Are you going to keep shouting times at me?
21:29Yeah, I'll make sure you get angry
21:31Yeah
21:31Don't worry about that
21:32Oh, that's going to be easy
21:39I'm intrigued by Steve's orange-eating arrogance
21:42I honestly thought that I was being challenged as to how fast I could eat an orange
21:46But it felt to me like you've timed yourself eating oranges before
21:49Like it was something I've done in the past and gone, yeah
21:51Have you?
21:52No
21:55Deborah has this amazing ability in any situation to seem like she's in charge
22:00It's quite a skill
22:01And he doesn't like it, he doesn't like strong women
22:03OK
22:07Right
22:08Let's have a look
22:09OK, do you want me to show you all of them creating at once?
22:12Yeah, man
22:12Here we go
22:14What makes, erm...
22:16What makes something move on here?
22:18Not that
22:19The time starts...
22:21Now
22:25Oh, wow!
22:26I can do it with my nose
22:27There's a banana here
22:28Bananas are like...fingers
22:31It's gone blank
22:32Hmm
22:34Oh, now it's your hand
22:35I think I might have to shut my eyes though
22:37So it's...
22:38Oh, OK
22:38Oh, I've got to get angry as well
22:40It's a terrible drawing and I hate it
22:42Shoulders
22:43Your anger just started creeping into it
22:45Shoulders
22:48I don't like that
22:50He was standing over my shoulder going...
22:51Right, mm-hmm
22:54Dreading my...
22:55Excessive confidence with orange-eating
22:58Yeah, you've got six seconds left, Steve
22:59Grrr
23:00This is...
23:01Hard work
23:04Oh, it's not straight, it's not straight
23:06I was about to get really angry
23:09Oh, well
23:12I look like King Kardashian or something
23:14I've got massive lips
23:15Is that OK?
23:17Is that OK?
23:18Yeah, that's OK
23:18Good, good
23:19A minute left
23:20Is it clinking rude to invite people onto Taskmaster?
23:24I'm going to go back with a big red nose
23:26I cannot tell you how irritating...
23:28Rubbing my nose against...
23:29I don't know where that came from
23:30I've got no idea what that came from
23:33Urgh!
23:34Urgh!
23:35I've had enough
23:35Do you know what?
23:36Cos he's so angry
23:37Laserbeams
23:38Pew, pew, pew, pew
23:40It feels like you're getting less angry
23:42Urgh!
23:44And, er...
23:45I could be doing better things in my time right now
23:48Darn it
23:49You...
23:50Pesky horn
23:52Erm...
23:52Can I end on a happy note?
23:53Because I'm actually quite pleased with my picture
23:56Blink
23:57Urgh!
23:57How so loud?
23:58Whoosh!
24:00Oof
24:04Oof
24:05I was just feeling guilty about characterising you as just perennially cheerful all the time
24:10Oh, God
24:10And then, I watched a video of you going...
24:13Grrrr!
24:15There was lots about Laddie's attempt that I enjoy
24:17But there's just a still of you that I asked Alex for while we were watching of you too
24:22And I just think it's so funny if you take it out of the context of this show
24:26If you just saw this, what the hell would you think was going on?
24:31LAUGHTER
24:36I mean, someone's going to get arrested off the back of this
24:38It is indeed
24:39It is indeed
24:41OK, let's see some stuff
24:43OK, well, he only had 45 seconds but Steve managed to paint this with his nose
24:49LAUGHTER
24:55I mean, in 45 seconds that you took the time to give yourself a six-pack
25:00LAUGHTER
25:01It is incredible
25:02And a really smug smile as well
25:05LAUGHTER
25:05Isn't that supposed to be eating fruit?
25:07There's supposed to be fruit in the picture, yeah, that was the only thing missing
25:09Unless you can claim any of that is fruit
25:11Blueberries?
25:13LAUGHTER
25:14It's not bad in 45 seconds, Steve, fair play
25:17Let's have a look at Zoe Ball's picture
25:19Here we go
25:22LAUGHTER
25:23LAUGHTER
25:24It was spectacular!
25:26LAUGHTER
25:26Oh, my God!
25:28It's so disturbing!
25:29What are you putting in your mouth?
25:30It's watermelon, Steve!
25:32It's watermelon!
25:34Look, it's got pips in it!
25:35Why have you aged yourself by 60 years?
25:37LAUGHTER
25:39I was really proud of that!
25:41Don't take it from me!
25:42It's good!
25:43Lovely melon!
25:45What?
25:45Let's stop for a bit
25:46Alex, do you want to throw to the abs?
25:48OK
25:51APPLAUSE
26:00Hello!
26:01Welcome back!
26:02It might be cold outside, but Taskmaster will keep you warm
26:05Warmed by the red-hot heat of old Grandfather Task
26:09LAUGHTER
26:11Before the break
26:13Before the break
26:14Before the break
26:14The Famous Five were making self-portraits on an iPad
26:16without using their hands
26:17So let's see some more results
26:19starting with Koji's radical picture
26:23Ooh!
26:25That's good
26:25You can see the laser beams if you look closely
26:28That's a strawberry
26:29I mean a strawberry
26:29And in your mind
26:31the character jumped into the air and his legs fell off?
26:34LAUGHTER
26:35I was like, it's a self-portrait
26:37Now sitting at a table
26:38So the rest of my legs are under the table
26:40Yeah
26:41But it's, erm, er, abstract
26:43LAUGHTER
26:45Next up I'm going to show you Lenny's rushed self-portrait
26:49LAUGHTER
26:50Kim Kardashian with a banana
26:52I changed to a pair but obviously
26:54I'm quite small so the pair is very...
26:56Like, that's actually what a pair is like to me
26:59LAUGHTER
27:00APPLAUSE
27:02Very clever
27:05Who's next?
27:06Er, the final one, fresh from the dragon's pen
27:09Here is Deborah's masterpiece
27:11Here we go
27:13LAUGHTER
27:14LAUGHTER
27:18Well, I went abstract too
27:19LAUGHTER
27:21Is it you eating fruit but being watched from a bird hide?
27:25LAUGHTER
27:26Right at the very end she managed to press a button with her nose
27:28that created quite a big black, er, layer over the top
27:32But we have managed to take that layer off
27:34because you were eating a banana in the picture you claimed
27:36Yeah
27:37And this is what you did before covering it up
27:40LAUGHTER
27:42Much better, much, much better
27:45LAUGHTER
27:45LAUGHTER
27:47LAUGHTER
27:49LAUGHTER
27:52Oh dear, he's up
27:54What's this?
27:56LAUGHTER
27:56I don't know, my tongue
27:59I have a very long tongue
28:00LAUGHTER
28:01You've got a long tongue?
28:02I've got a long tongue
28:03I've got a long tongue
28:03I'll show you later
28:04Say later
28:07CHEERING
28:07APPLAUSE
28:08Thank you
28:10Yeah
28:12Oh dear
28:13Oh dear
28:14All right, Greg, I'm going to show you all five
28:15I mean, it's obviously Deborah's that's the worst
28:18LAUGHTER
28:18Just because it doesn't look remotely like you, Deborah
28:21OR a person
28:24OR someone eating fruit
28:26So one point to Deborah
28:27We'll give Steve two points
28:29because there's, er, no visible fruit there
28:32Sorry, Lenny, I think I'm going to give you three points
28:34I like Granny Ball
28:35Even though Zoe did seemingly draw it while she was on the trampolines
28:39LAUGHTER
28:40And then, of course, Koji's masterpiece takes the five points
28:44There you go
28:44APPLAUSE
28:46Two, four, five
28:49APPLAUSE
28:50Please can I see one more task?
28:53Ah!
29:07BUZZER
29:09Alex?
29:10Koji?
29:10In there
29:11Please enter the space ball
29:12Hello?
29:13Please enter the oxygen chamber
29:15The oxygen chamber?
29:16Maybe
29:17Thunderdome?
29:18Thunderdome, sorry, yes, please enter the Thunderdome
29:20Thunderdome
29:20Right
29:22There's a task within a task
29:24Hang on a minute
29:25It's a pop-up task
29:27Ah!
29:28Of course!
29:29Right
29:30You're taking a piss
29:30LAUGHTER
29:32This is doing nothing for my trust issues
29:34LAUGHTER
29:35Make these things pop when the timer hits zero
29:39Make these things pop when the timer hits zero
29:42Toast
29:43Popper
29:44Monster
29:45Jack
29:46Gum
29:46Feeder
29:48Cuckoo
29:49Bubble
29:49Bubble
29:49And balloon
29:51Missing a balloon
29:53Oh!
29:54Shortest time between first and last pop wins
29:57They're 15 minutes
30:00And your time starts now
30:03And it has to pop at 15 minutes
30:05Uh-huh, everything
30:06There are nine things there, Koji
30:07So you're aiming for them all to pop in 15 minutes' time?
30:11Yeah
30:11At the same time, ideally
30:12So have I got a test?
30:13You can do as much testing as you want
30:15Oh, I see
30:16But you've only got those pieces of bread?
30:17Right
30:17And only one balloon?
30:22Huh?
30:26APPLAUSE
30:30Do you want to explain the rules now?
30:32Yes, Koji, so...
30:33LAUGHTER
30:34It is slightly complicated
30:36I've done a little graphic for you
30:37There are 15 minutes
30:39Until the clock hits zero
30:41They want all their pops to happen
30:43At the same time as that
30:44The closer the pops are together
30:46Around the clock hitting zero
30:48The better
30:48Let's begin
30:49Here is Lenny
30:50Stevie
30:51And someone who doesn't like being called Debbie
30:53Here we go
30:54LAUGHTER
30:58I think the first thing I want to try is the toast
31:01I don't actually know how toasters work
31:05So you're pre-toasting the toast, are you?
31:08OK
31:08And then it's going to be toasty toast
31:10I think it's speech operated
31:12I have to talk to the toaster?
31:15Go down
31:20It's not
31:22No, I'm not sure it is
31:23I'm sorry
31:27Oh, that's a really quick one
31:33Don't like these
31:36Oh, God, I don't like you
31:39I need to wind that
31:41With one hand
31:43Maybe I should take that down
31:45Well, actually, can you just do that?
31:46Oh, look, look, look
31:47I can just do that
31:48OK, how many hands have I got?
31:50OK
31:52Three minutes and counting
31:54How does this pop?
31:56That's a cat feeder, Lenny
31:57Oh
31:57So I thought they were minutes
31:59No
32:00They're not minutes
32:01It's hours, isn't it?
32:02If I give it the smallest
32:04Ooh
32:05Ooh
32:06That's OK
32:08Ooh
32:08Ooh, wow
32:10That's dramatic
32:16Ooh, I forgot to chew bubblegum
32:17To turn it into a bubble?
32:19Yeah
32:20Put it all in, have you?
32:21All in one go
32:22Yeah
32:22Go home
32:23Go home
32:25Let's go
32:26OK, let's go
32:27OK
32:27Where's the balloon happening?
32:37Ah, it's there
32:39OK
32:39So I don't want to pop that yet
32:42Can you let me know when there's ten seconds left?
32:44So you're doing everything in the last ten seconds
32:45I like it
32:46Yes
32:47Be well done now
32:48OK, Toaster's going down
32:49That's both one down
32:50The next pops are the real pops, is that right?
32:52That's right
32:5630 seconds
32:56I can do this
33:0125 seconds
33:0225 seconds
33:04The pencil's killing me
33:07I can go down there
33:10Ten seconds
33:20Um...
33:24Oh, don't
33:28Oh
33:30Oh
33:39Don't
33:40Oh
33:43Yay!
33:44Amazing
33:48Oh my god
33:49My head is so sleepy
33:50Oh my god
33:52Am I doing the right thing?
33:54Oh
33:54That popped
33:55That popped
33:55One more thing hasn't popped yet
33:57Well it hasn't popped
33:58That popped
33:59That's popped
33:59That's popped
34:00What's not popped?
34:03You've done everything Lenny
34:05What's not popped?
34:06Cuckoo feeder
34:07Feeder
34:08Bat
34:09Bat
34:11Correct
34:13Is that it?
34:14You may leave
34:15You may need to chew bubblegum
34:16My mother is going to be so cross with you
34:25I mean, Steve just seems like he's a professional popper
34:30I've had an advantage in that I've used a toaster before
34:37Yeah, Zebra, do you sometimes think with all of your success you may have lost touchless?
34:44We have an Arga
34:45That's not going to help
34:48I didn't know you couldn't talk to toasters
34:50You can't talk to toasters
34:53I mean, it's a good job this isn't the sort of show that would replay that moment so that it
34:58haunts you forever
35:00This one?
35:01Yeah
35:02Go down
35:11Lenny
35:12I mean, you were really good as well I thought
35:14But the thing that intrigued me is you didn't know what was inside that cat feeder and the moment you
35:20saw what was inside it you started eating
35:22LAUGHTER
35:23A lucky little gremlin, isn't I?
35:25LAUGHTER
35:27Good, I want some times
35:28I mean, obviously Steve was the fastest of the three
35:31His window was just 18 seconds to pop all nine things
35:33Oh
35:34Lenny and Debra were very similar with their times
35:36Unfortunately for Debra, she didn't spot the feeder
35:38So Lenny took 50 seconds altogether, Debra 72, which is not bad
35:42And you think that not seeing the feeder is going to be the thing that Debra regrets most about that
35:47cat
35:48Go down
35:53Just one part to go
35:55Who will take home some candy sticks and squash and some enormous golden eyebrows?
35:59You'll find out very soon
36:00APPLAUSE
36:10Well, welcome back to the final part of the show where another New Year treat is almost over
36:15Yes, and I suppose that also means we're all that little bit closer to the end of our lives
36:21Before the break, the cast were trying to synchronise their nine items to pop as close to zero as possible
36:27That's the task, so obviously you're going to start as close to zero as possible
36:31I mean, who wouldn't?
36:33Who wouldn't start as close to zero as possible?
36:37It's Koji and Zoe
36:39OK, so you just want to set the clock
36:44Very sweet, very sweet
36:46That's 15, that's not doing anything
36:49That's shit
36:52OK, so that's...
36:55There's three pieces of bubble gum there
36:56Alex
36:58Please
37:00OK, yeah
37:01Why do they always make you jump?
37:03I've never been able to blow a bubble since I've ever
37:06Spit it out
37:06Spit it out of me
37:08How long have I got left?
37:10Six minutes twenty
37:10Six minutes
37:12So if I put that on
37:13Six minutes and a bit
37:18What do you want?
37:20And then you could do...
37:23Well...
37:23The balloon as well
37:25I've got too many things to press, Alex
37:27No, I see the problems
37:28So the plan is just...
37:31It's like a drum solo
37:32This will be go
37:39This is still stuck on 6
37:41It's gonna feed the cat in six hours
37:43Right, hang on
37:45No
37:48Something's going
37:49Oh shit
37:51Still getting bigger
37:52OK, cool, that's gone
37:55That's the first pot
37:56First pot
37:57Yes, I'm over left on the thing. Well three minutes one minute to go. Okay. Let's just try for at
38:02least
38:12Please claim straight out
38:16Toast I don't know is it toast that's toast
38:19That can never be bread put this back in the bag people figure enough
38:27I have a wet fart. Disgusting
38:34Lovely
38:40A B C D L M N A P Q R S straight to the TVV W X Y and
38:45Z. Now I know my ABCs
38:49Everything is popped
38:50Except my career
38:52Thanks Zoe. Thank you. You can take them with you if you want. I'm taking my toast
38:57It's all I have. I have no dignity left, but I have two pieces of toast
39:07Well, I thought in the build-up to it you looked like you had it all under control
39:16Yeah, I made a list. I tried to back time it
39:19And then what I've written down is
39:21When Zoe's attempt started, it looked like a woman falling down some stairs
39:30Oh dear, it was good toast though. It was good toast
39:33I did so bad. I just
39:34Well, I don't know what happened there coachy, but you told the cat feeder it was shit
39:40You said that Alex sickened you
39:42And you appeared to have beef with a mechanical cuckoo
39:46I've got a lot done
39:49I mean you wrote a song as well
39:51That's got to be worth saying
39:51Yeah, no, not point-wise
39:53No, this is definitely not
39:54Okay, well, we know that so far Deborah's in third was 72
39:58Neither of you two did better than that, of course
40:01Koji, your window was 3 minutes 31
40:03Zoe, the cat feeder, finally went off 24 minutes after the film
40:08So a single point to Zoe, 2 to Koji, 3 to Deborah, 4 to Lenny, but 5 to Steve Batchel
40:16That meant Steve was joint first with Lenny on 14 points
40:20Wow, yep, it's okay
40:23Only one should win
40:25Okay, everyone, just one more thing to do
40:28Please stay where you are
40:30Ooh
40:31While Alex and I make our way to the stage for the final task of the show
40:35Ooh
40:43You want to follow me lad?
40:45Who will be reading the task out?
40:47Deborah Meaden, please
40:48Okay
40:50Say whether the item will fit through the hole or not fit through the hole
40:54If you get it right, you lose an egg and the fewest eggs remaining wins
40:59Okay
41:00Okay
41:00Any questions?
41:03No
41:06Greg, shall we head over to the first item?
41:08Together
41:13Together
41:13Here we are
41:14That's not going to help those rumours on the internet
41:17Shall I present?
41:21Will the duck bring them luck?
41:25Well, that's good, we've got two yeses and three noes
41:28Yes, it's time to thrust
41:29It's time to thrust
41:32Whoa
41:33Whoa
41:34Whoa
41:35Yeah!
41:37We need two correct answers
41:40Discard your eggs, koji and lemon
41:43Second item, it's a triangular hole
41:45But what's the item?
41:47No
41:49Whoa
41:51Will the pan?
41:52Yes, it can
41:53Or not
41:55One yes, two noes
41:57Another yes
41:58Another yes
41:59It's time to thrust
42:03Oh
42:05Oh
42:05Sideways
42:07Oh
42:07Oh
42:08Oh
42:08Oh
42:10Oh, no
42:13Oh, no
42:16Can Zoe Ball just hit someone with an egg?
42:18Sorry
42:18I'm sorry
42:19Jesus Christ, Zoe Ball's gone into full meltdown
42:23They've all lost one egg, Greg
42:25Ooh
42:26Ooh
42:27Ooh
42:28Ooh
42:28Will the cone find its way home?
42:32Ooh
42:33Ooh
42:35Ooh
42:35Ooh
42:36Ooh
42:36Ooh
42:37Ooh
42:38Ooh
42:39Ooh
42:40It genuinely won't go through
42:41Won't go through?
42:42You can all discard an egg
42:43Well done
42:43Yay
42:47Watermelon
42:48Ooh
42:49Will the melon be a hero or felon?
42:54Five noes
42:55Thrust
42:56Ooh
42:58Ooh
42:59Ooh
43:00Ooh
43:00Ooh
43:01Ooh
43:01Ooh
43:01Ooh
43:02Ooh
43:03Ooh
43:07You know what?
43:09Yeah?
43:10Goji's cross
43:11I'm not sure he's as cross as laddie, you know?
43:15Lovely window
43:16What's behind it?
43:17Ooh
43:18Ooh
43:19Ooh
43:19Ooh
43:20Ooh
43:21Ooh
43:22Ooh
43:22Give it a squish
43:25See you at the BAFTAs
43:28There we go, no, no, no, no, no, yes for ball, ball on ball, will it go through?
43:32Ooh
43:34Ooh
43:35Ooh
43:35Ooh
43:36Ooh
43:36Ooh
43:37Ooh
43:37Ooh
43:38Ooh
43:38Ooh
43:38We've got to MODERN
43:38Everyone but Zoey can discard it
43:41Ooh
43:42Ooh
43:42Ooh
43:43wheel all the crap go through the gap
43:47They've all gone for the same answer.
43:55I'm working for you. I'm working for you.
43:58OK.
44:02Will the balloon be coming soon?
44:06Ooh, now then. Four no's and one yes for Koji Radical.
44:10It's time for us.
44:11Oh!
44:14Oh!
44:17You're too rough winning, Grace!
44:21Everyone but Koji may discard an egg.
44:23OK, it's the chair-shaped hole, but what's he going to be putting through it?
44:27Oh, I wonder.
44:30Will the chair fix them there?
44:33Radical says, no.
44:36Oh!
44:36Oh!
44:39It's nearly there!
44:41Will it go?
44:42No!
44:43Yes!
44:46It's there!
44:50Only Steve and Zoe got that one last.
44:52Probably a little worrying I'm out of breath, isn't it?
44:55LAUGHTER
44:55So now everyone look at this little hole here.
44:59Gakamakamak!
45:01What are we going to be poking through that hole?
45:03Ooh!
45:05But for who?
45:07Will that be good or will it be folly?
45:10Let's see as I thrust the brolly.
45:15Only Lenny has gone for no.
45:17Oh, no!
45:18Ooh!
45:20Ooh!
45:22Ooh!
45:26Shove it!
45:27No!
45:28It's a no!
45:29Oh!
45:33Lenny and Steve, neck and neck, four eggs left each.
45:36Koji, heartbroken.
45:39What's the final one?
45:40Well, you can pick up the final item if you want.
45:42Ooh!
45:44Ooh!
45:47Will little Alex Horne be reborn?
45:54You can make it.
45:55We have four yeses, one no.
45:58Ooh!
45:59Ooh!
46:02Ooh!
46:03Ooh!
46:04Ooh!
46:08Ooh!
46:14He did not fit through.
46:18Good.
46:19We'll add that to the final scores and see what's happened.
46:28Well, well, well.
46:30So, Koji, I'm afraid you got the fewest answers right.
46:33You had the most eggs at the end, so you get one point.
46:35Aw.
46:36Let's just enjoy Koji's face for a bit.
46:39In joint third in that round, Deborah and Zoe both got half of them right.
46:45Five, which means they get three points each.
46:47In second place, six correct answers were Steve,
46:50but Lenny got seven, so he gets five points!
46:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:03Lenny Rush wins!
47:06A new year's treat!
47:08Please head up to the stage and then lift a lot your golden eyebrows!
47:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:17Have yourselves a brilliant year and we'll see you again very soon.
47:20But now, here's the winner of this special night.
47:23It's Lenny!
47:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:42Thank you so much.
Comments