- 1 hour ago
Johnny Be Good (1988) Full Movie HD [x9pw0zs] [Full Movie] [Hot 2026]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:28You
00:00:31Dear Lord, we pray that we may win this game today.
00:00:36We ask that you give us the strength and the courage
00:00:40to win our second straight state championship.
00:00:44We ask, Lord, that nobody on our side is seriously injured.
00:00:51We know in our hearts, Lord, that we are the best team.
00:00:59We ask that you allow us to win this game.
00:01:07The Lord wants you to put your foot on their balls and believe in it.
00:01:12Because that's what wins football games.
00:01:15Not jumping off sides like a bunch of wimps and faggots.
00:01:21All right, lift your heads, boys. Prayer's over.
00:01:23I talk to God. I'm through talking to God.
00:01:26Now I'm talking to you.
00:01:28You're gonna be out there in front of your families, student body.
00:01:32Every girl you ever had a heart on for is gonna be out there today,
00:01:35but you will not be going to no sock hop tonight, boys.
00:01:38You will not get no honey on your stinger tonight
00:01:40if you don't go out there and bust your ass.
00:01:45Because this is it.
00:01:48This is the big one.
00:01:51I want you to taste it.
00:01:54I want you to smell it, son.
00:02:01There's winners. And there's nothing else.
00:02:04I don't give a shit what those pinkos over in Russia say.
00:02:07You want to be a loser, you go live in Russia.
00:02:10I'm not a loser. I'm a winner.
00:02:14I'm an American.
00:02:16Who wants to be John Wayne?
00:02:17Who wants to go out there and grab a root and hang on?
00:02:21Who wants to get a mean on?
00:02:23Get a mean on, son.
00:02:25Let me see you get a mean on, son.
00:02:28Who wants it? I want to know.
00:02:29Who wants this? Who wants to get a mean on right now?
00:02:33Who wants it?
00:02:34I want it! I want it!
00:03:04Who wants it?
00:03:06Who wants it?
00:03:06Who wants it?
00:03:06What a play.
00:03:07Who wants it?
00:03:07Good job, man.
00:03:08The pride of Escrocite, Johnny Walker!
00:03:21Yes, sir.
00:03:24Coach, this is the last game of this season.
00:03:26You could maybe get in for a couple of minutes.
00:03:28You want to play?
00:03:30Yes, please.
00:03:32No, you don't.
00:03:35Hey!
00:03:36Hey!
00:03:42Hey!
00:03:51Hey!
00:03:53Walkers, 40th TD pass this season!
00:03:55A new state record!
00:03:58Right!
00:03:59Why set!
00:04:03Hatch!
00:04:04That is straight!
00:04:05Come on, Penetrate, boys!
00:04:06You want to find a hole?
00:04:07Ah!
00:04:08Ah!
00:04:11Gash, give him a punt sign, will you?
00:04:19Walker, kick the ball! Kick it!
00:04:36Another record for Walker!
00:04:39Five-second hang time!
00:04:46We're going in, fellas!
00:04:48Are you?
00:04:52With that completion of Michael Stanley,
00:04:55Walker has just done a nice little high school record!
00:04:5811.35, Gibson's out of his car and into the stadium.
00:05:03Out!
00:05:03Out!
00:05:04Out!
00:05:09Coach!
00:05:11That offer still stands.
00:05:14My answer's still no.
00:05:16Do it for us, for the singles!
00:05:18We're calling to play here, Walker!
00:05:20I think the score is 52-0.
00:05:23What can we do to get Gash in the game?
00:05:24I got it.
00:05:25Let's lose five!
00:05:27Right!
00:05:30Push it in!
00:05:31I want another score!
00:05:32Let's go!
00:05:33Let's go!
00:05:34I'm going down!
00:05:40I'm going down!
00:05:41Oh, it's the leg!
00:05:41I'm down!
00:05:43What's he doing?
00:05:43What's Walker doing?
00:05:45Uh-oh!
00:05:46I think I broke my dick!
00:05:48Ow!
00:05:49Oh, no!
00:05:50Not as George!
00:05:51Now, Walker's on!
00:05:52Gash!
00:05:53Gash!
00:05:53Give me Gash!
00:05:54Gash!
00:05:55Get in the game, Gash!
00:05:56Put it in the end zone!
00:05:57First time!
00:05:58What's the matter?
00:05:59I broke my dick, Coach.
00:06:00I rub some dirt on it and get back in there.
00:06:02It's broken!
00:06:04You go left.
00:06:05You go right.
00:06:06I'll run.
00:06:07Gash!
00:06:14Gash!
00:06:17Gash!
00:06:18Gash!
00:06:19Gash!
00:06:19Gash!
00:06:20Throw your navel in the ground, will ya?
00:06:22Hey, Juicy.
00:06:24Hi, Johnny.
00:06:25Would you mind taking off your underpants real quick and going to stand over there?
00:06:27Sure.
00:06:28Anything for you.
00:06:33235.
00:06:34Cheerleader taking her yellow panties off.
00:06:37Over and out.
00:06:39Hey, guys.
00:06:40Juicy Dorfman isn't wearing any underpants.
00:06:44Woo!
00:06:46Woo!
00:06:46Ooh.
00:06:47So?
00:06:49Left 46 on the first sound.
00:06:53Ready?
00:06:54Break!
00:07:01Oh, I see.
00:07:03That girl's not wearing any underwear.
00:07:05What?
00:07:06Whoa!
00:07:06Which one?
00:07:07Hey!
00:07:08Check it out!
00:07:08Give me!
00:07:10Ow!
00:07:12Ow!
00:07:13Ow!
00:07:13Ow!
00:07:14Ow!
00:07:15Ow!
00:07:17Ow!
00:07:17Ow!
00:07:19Ow!
00:07:19Ow!
00:07:20Ow!
00:07:24Ow!
00:07:31Ow!
00:07:31Ow!
00:07:32Ow!
00:07:34Ow!ip,
00:07:34ow! Ow!
00:07:38Ow!
00:07:40Mads
00:07:40Rocke has just won their second to the second state football championship! Congratulations to
00:07:47Coach Wayne Hisler, and especially
00:07:49to everyone's High School All-American, Johnny Walker!
00:08:17Hello?
00:08:18Hey, Johnny.
00:08:20Glad I could get to you.
00:08:21This is how it goes, sir.
00:08:22You were just tremendous out there today.
00:08:25I've never seen a better performance at the high school level.
00:08:29We should go to an Ivy League school
00:08:32by the name of Yale University, in my opinion, young man.
00:08:37Have you thought about such a thing?
00:08:39Is this really you, Howard?
00:08:41Howard.
00:08:42Who is this?
00:08:42This is how it comes out.
00:08:44Does anybody in America like you?
00:08:46Huh?
00:08:51Oh, shit.
00:08:52Sorry.
00:08:54My boys, my boys.
00:08:55All right.
00:08:56It's worth the victory, huh?
00:08:57It's worth the victory.
00:09:03Johnny, Johnny, listen to me, man.
00:09:05Sign with me.
00:09:06I will make you a star.
00:09:07Now, ignore all these other guys, man.
00:09:09They're a bunch of athletic pimps.
00:09:10Trust me, athletic pimps.
00:09:11Look at the way they dress, man.
00:09:12Write your own ticket.
00:09:13I'll give you anything you want.
00:09:14Spring break!
00:09:15Hi, Puerto Rico!
00:09:16Johnny, just tell me what you want, and I'll get you two of them.
00:09:19What do you like?
00:09:20You like girls?
00:09:20I like the head.
00:09:21You got it.
00:09:22Just...
00:09:23What else?
00:09:24Ice cream?
00:09:24Cultural pursuit?
00:09:26What?
00:09:26I gotta have you, Johnny.
00:09:28We have a TV coverage.
00:09:30I can offer you TV every single day.
00:09:33You don't need me.
00:09:34I got what you want.
00:09:35Johnny!
00:09:37You get right in that style of offense, boy.
00:09:39You're gonna start right away.
00:09:40Right away.
00:09:41That's what you wanna do.
00:09:42Play football, all right, boy?
00:09:43You got it.
00:09:47You got it.
00:09:48You got it.
00:09:48You got it.
00:09:49You got it.
00:09:50You got it.
00:09:51You got it.
00:09:52You got it.
00:09:52Hold on.
00:09:53Smurfs.
00:09:54Smurfs.
00:09:55Smurfs patrol.
00:09:56Hi.
00:09:58Get off my feet.
00:09:59Watch your toes.
00:10:00Okay.
00:10:01Don't I know your mom?
00:10:02What's it like being king of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:04Georgia.
00:10:05What?
00:10:06Say that again?
00:10:07What's it like being king of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:10Let me tell you something.
00:10:11These girls are gonna be beautiful grown women in about two minutes.
00:10:13You shouldn't really say it all.
00:10:14Great.
00:10:15Move away from my daughter, Walker.
00:10:18You tell me you're still pissed off because I brought you home a day late.
00:10:21Don't tell me that.
00:10:22Is that what happened?
00:10:23Huh?
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:25Huh?
00:10:26I don't know.
00:10:26What?
00:10:27Who was it?
00:10:30You can't really cover those up at all.
00:10:34What?
00:10:34Let's give them one.
00:10:40Get your mouth off her, Walker.
00:10:43Let's go, Georgia.
00:10:45Now!
00:10:50I'll see you later.
00:10:52Very good.
00:10:53You love me.
00:10:54Mm-hmm.
00:10:58Can't say anything but thank you.
00:11:00Bernie, we need to talk to you.
00:11:01We're talking success here!
00:11:02Come here, boys!
00:11:04Johnny!
00:11:05We're gonna keep on the Super Bowl!
00:11:08Hey!
00:11:10Hey!
00:11:11Hey!
00:11:12Hey!
00:11:13Hey!
00:11:13Hey!
00:11:14Hey!
00:11:20Hey!
00:11:24Hey!
00:11:25Hey!
00:11:25Back off.
00:11:25Goodbye, Daniel!
00:11:28Thanks, Walker.
00:11:30Do you think these recruiters would want you as much if they knew you're afraid of the dark?
00:11:35I'm not afraid of the dark.
00:11:36Well, I mean, it's OK.
00:11:37I'm not gonna spill the beans that you sleep at nightlight.
00:11:42I don't need a nightlight.
00:11:43Come on.
00:11:44Yes, you do.
00:11:44It's OK.
00:11:45You're a punk.
00:11:46Accept it.
00:11:47All right.
00:11:47I accept it.
00:11:50So what?!
00:11:51So?
00:11:54You can't hit me again, pal.
00:11:57Right here.
00:12:02I feel good now.
00:12:05Leo, it's time you and me moved on big time, pal.
00:12:08Big time scholarships.
00:12:09UCC.
00:12:10Big time contacts.
00:12:11UCC.
00:12:11Big deals.
00:12:12UCC is the place for you.
00:12:14Did I ever tell you about Coach UCC's wife?
00:12:16No, UCC.
00:12:16The woman has a set of chihuahuas.
00:12:18Can someone see you?
00:12:21Round the corner.
00:12:24Could that someone be a magnet?
00:12:30There's a tugboat.
00:12:32Up, up, down by the river, don't you know?
00:12:37Where's the man back?
00:12:39Just drooping on down.
00:12:42Getting really good, Wayne.
00:12:43I just love your singing.
00:12:46Thank you, baby.
00:12:47You know, I was reading at the market today
00:12:49that we all come from another world
00:12:52and we choose in that world
00:12:54who we want to be in this world
00:12:56and we're all connected by a common cosmic thread.
00:13:00That's right, honey.
00:13:01That's true.
00:13:02What time are you going to work?
00:13:03I've done a dinner for you and clean up.
00:13:06Do you realize that we're living nine lives simultaneously?
00:13:10Of course.
00:13:13Listen, sweet cake.
00:13:14Yes?
00:13:15On your way back from work,
00:13:16would you pick up my yellow suit for the cleaners?
00:13:19Okay.
00:13:19No problem.
00:13:21It's near that bakery that makes that black bundle bread
00:13:24you love so much.
00:13:26And Lucy Brown
00:13:28Oh, the line for...
00:13:49Chancellor, how are you?
00:13:58Good to see you again, sir.
00:14:00How about that game today, huh?
00:14:02Nice.
00:14:02Walker was everything you said he was.
00:14:04Yes.
00:14:05What do I do to get him to go to Pyramont?
00:14:07I just want you to sit down and relax and enjoy my home.
00:14:10You're going to have dinner with us, aren't you?
00:14:11I don't think we have enough salmon patties, Wayne.
00:14:17What the heck?
00:14:19Break out the fish sticks, honey.
00:14:21Oh, okay.
00:14:22Darling, some of that sparkling fruit wine.
00:14:27Have a seat, please, Chancellor.
00:14:30Look, Coach, I didn't get to become president of Pyramont University by mincing words.
00:14:35My backers are getting impatient.
00:14:37They want success this year.
00:14:39They want to win.
00:14:40I want Walker.
00:14:42I'm the key to Walker, obviously.
00:14:45Obviously you are.
00:14:46What is it you want?
00:14:48Name your price.
00:14:51I want to be the new head coach at Pyramont University.
00:14:53Is that all?
00:14:54No, I want a five-year no-cut contract, weekly television show, membership in the country club,
00:14:59et cetera, all the usual perks.
00:15:00The main thing is that Walker is going to go where I tell him to go, or he's not going
00:15:06anywhere.
00:15:07That's a fact.
00:15:08You can guarantee that?
00:15:11The kid loves me.
00:15:14You know, it's...
00:15:15I'm like a father to him, really.
00:15:18I guess they're such an asshole.
00:15:22Johnny, I've been having all these twisted visions lately.
00:15:27So they went out here.
00:15:30Well, I was thinking about developing like a deep personal relationship with a psychiatrist,
00:15:34you know, very tight.
00:15:36And then one day, just while he's complimenting me on all the headway progress I'm making in
00:15:40the area of my obsessive fear of torque wrenches, just cut him off mid-sense and say,
00:15:45Hey, hey, whoops!
00:15:47Why am I angry at you today?
00:15:49He gets all dramatic on me and goes,
00:15:51Well, I think that it stems, well, it stems from nothing.
00:15:55That's a trick question.
00:15:56I take his PhD off the wall and beat him about the head and shoulders with it for about an
00:16:01hour, and then I whisper softly in his ear,
00:16:04I'd like to pay for my next 20 visits in advance.
00:16:20Johnny, you'll be all you can be.
00:16:27For $81.50 a month after taxes?
00:16:29Exactly.
00:16:30No, I don't think so.
00:16:31Thank you, though.
00:16:31Notre Dame, my son.
00:16:33Father, how you doing?
00:16:34Father, aren't you going to be late for a mass or something?
00:16:36Oh, you're right.
00:16:36I'm sorry.
00:16:37Alabama is football.
00:16:38Alabama's where you should be.
00:16:39Penn State is always in the top ten.
00:16:41We kicked Alabama's butt last year.
00:16:43That was one game.
00:16:44It's freezing in Penn State.
00:16:45It's a normal climate.
00:16:47Normal?
00:16:47Normal if you're a SEAL or ESCII model.
00:16:49It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:51It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:57Leo, Leo.
00:16:59My school has a buddy system.
00:17:00Johnny goes there, all of his buddies get to go there, too.
00:17:03First class.
00:17:03Boy buddies, girl buddies, everybody.
00:17:06I'm ready for college and corruption.
00:17:08My school doesn't do that, Leo.
00:17:10It just exists in your imagination.
00:17:12Well, I have grand imagination.
00:17:15How about ten grand?
00:17:25Leo, more chicken?
00:17:26I'll just get the rest to go, please.
00:17:28Right.
00:17:29Anything, Johnny, anything.
00:17:32I love you.
00:17:33Let's set a time.
00:17:36I'm free tonight.
00:17:39I can't believe the ball guy is still here.
00:17:41Mm-hmm.
00:17:42It's crazy out there.
00:17:43Come here, honey.
00:17:44Well, it's crazy in here, too.
00:17:45There you go.
00:17:46But I like it.
00:17:47Yep.
00:17:48My lures are selling my car ticks.
00:17:51Especially like my wall-eye gibbler.
00:17:53This is exciting, though, isn't it?
00:17:54It's original, huh?
00:17:55Oh, honey, I'm proud of you.
00:17:57I really am.
00:17:58You've worked hard for this for a long time.
00:18:00Thank you, Mom.
00:18:01You know I couldn't have done it without you.
00:18:04I'm glad you know it, because it's true.
00:18:06That's why one day very soon, I'm going to work hard enough.
00:18:08You're not going to have to work again, Mom.
00:18:11I don't mind working, Johnny.
00:18:13It's a decent way to make a living.
00:18:16Well, I know you don't mind.
00:18:17That's why I do.
00:18:19Where's Georgia today?
00:18:21Yeah, where is she?
00:18:23She's grounded.
00:18:25Why?
00:18:26For knowing me.
00:18:28Yes, I can understand that.
00:18:31Well, you're popping off, Mom, huh?
00:18:33You ready for a little pee in the head, Mom?
00:18:35Will you stop?
00:18:36No, wait, now, don't you...
00:18:37You want another one?
00:18:37Here it is.
00:18:38Oh, he's going to get alive now, huh?
00:18:39Don't you dare.
00:18:39All right, me.
00:18:40You can stop.
00:18:41Hey.
00:18:43All right, that's it.
00:18:44That's it.
00:18:44No dessert.
00:18:46What can I do?
00:18:47So, Ray, what did you think of the game?
00:18:49You looked goofy.
00:18:52You looked what?
00:18:54Goofy.
00:18:55You didn't look in the mirror today.
00:18:56You know why?
00:18:57Because you don't have any teeth.
00:18:58So, when you get some front teeth,
00:18:59then you can tell me how goofy I look.
00:19:01Until that moment comes along,
00:19:02you can't say anything.
00:19:03Okay?
00:19:04Okay?
00:19:05Do you hear me?
00:19:06Say it.
00:19:07Say, I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:08I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:09Say, I hear you, big brother.
00:19:10I hear you, big brother.
00:19:11Say, you are my man.
00:19:12You are my man.
00:19:15No, she just ate.
00:19:17But much more importantly,
00:19:18what about Leo's first touchdown ever?
00:19:20You look good today.
00:19:22Once I got the right direction going, right?
00:19:24Why didn't you ever eat at your house, Leo?
00:19:27Why?
00:19:28Well, I think it's basically
00:19:30because my parents hate me
00:19:32and they've accused me
00:19:34of carrying an ammonia-filled tentacle around with me.
00:19:37Which, of course, I do not.
00:19:39What is this?
00:19:40The funny farm?
00:19:44I can understand why they hate you.
00:19:48Johnny, my boy.
00:19:49Now, listen.
00:19:50You've got to get organized, you know.
00:19:52Now, you've had calls from Michigan,
00:19:56UCC, Piermont, and Old Tex,
00:19:58LSU, and Kansas, eh?
00:20:00And Cornell.
00:20:02What do you think, Mom?
00:20:02Do I call these people back?
00:20:04Well, superstar,
00:20:06you can start by clearing the table
00:20:08and helping me with the dishes.
00:20:12Nice little reality break for Mom there, huh?
00:20:14Isn't that nice?
00:20:15Well, you're home now, sir.
00:20:16Thank you, Grant.
00:20:18Listen, I'm a hooker.
00:20:19And you, I'm not going to catch
00:20:21a single monkfish if you had to.
00:20:23See you later.
00:20:24Have a ball.
00:20:25A monkfish?
00:20:26A fish.
00:20:27A fish.
00:20:27A fish.
00:20:30A fish.
00:20:50A fish.
00:21:04Come on!
00:21:34Family's really nice. Your mom's a terrible cook.
00:21:39Thank you. Where are we going now?
00:21:41Georgia's. Really?
00:21:43I thought you was grounded. I'm on ground again.
00:21:46All right.
00:22:00Oh, I see. There's got to be Rottweiler.
00:22:05There's no mistaking this. That's no chihuahua.
00:22:11I thought her parents hated you.
00:22:13This would be embarrassing.
00:22:14Yeah, well, she digs me.
00:22:16His father is the one who I have problems with.
00:22:18Well, she'll come around.
00:22:20Mrs. Elkins.
00:22:23Good evening. Um, is Georgia home?
00:22:26Yes. And that's where she's going to stay.
00:22:31Hmm.
00:22:33I just felt the love beam.
00:22:35She loves me.
00:22:46Freeze, dirtbags!
00:22:47I don't want you sniffing around my daughter, Walker.
00:22:50What's shaking, Chief?
00:22:51Chief, how the hell is patrol?
00:22:53You're in big trouble, Walker.
00:22:56Chief, you can't keep me away from your daughter.
00:22:59I'm going to keep you away from her forever.
00:23:01How are you going to do that, Chief?
00:23:03We're going to settle this thing once and for all.
00:23:05I can't just beat the shit out of you.
00:23:07So we're going to have us a little game of football.
00:23:09And I'm going to hurt you.
00:23:11I'm going to play with these two men right here.
00:23:14These men right here?
00:23:16Okay, hold on.
00:23:16Let me get a head count for a second here.
00:23:18You got one, two, three, four.
00:23:21Oh, that's a little unfair, isn't it, Chief?
00:23:22Well, then you can play with the big cheese.
00:23:25Oh, now I like it.
00:23:26Chief, one last thing.
00:23:27Once we kick your butt, Georgia's mine.
00:23:30Well, then, just to make it fair,
00:23:32you're going to get to play with one hand behind your back.
00:23:36Isn't that cute?
00:23:38Chief, you don't play with one hand, do you?
00:23:44Let's bless them all.
00:23:45Ah, a little pooper for the troopers.
00:23:49Come on!
00:24:00Rotten little piss-heads.
00:24:02Woo!
00:24:03Yeah, dad!
00:24:08Cheerleaders?
00:24:10Cheerleaders?
00:24:13I got it, I got it!
00:24:15Woo-hoo!
00:24:16Peace!
00:24:17Peace!
00:24:18Peace!
00:24:29Ah!
00:24:32Guess what, Trooper, Albert?
00:24:33I got it, over!
00:24:35That's what!
00:24:44All right, can I see you on the right knee, please?
00:24:52Nice catch, Cooper.
00:24:56Hey, Cooper!
00:24:59Get him out of here!
00:25:01Oh, my God!
00:25:07Hey, Batman, get out of here!
00:25:10I'm out of here.
00:25:11I'm out of here.
00:25:13Get out of here.
00:25:15I'm out of here.
00:25:17I'm out of here.
00:25:18Look at him go.
00:25:19Look at the cheese.
00:25:21Wait a second.
00:25:22It's a $20 bomb.
00:25:23It's a game.
00:25:24Let's get him.
00:25:35It started last weekend
00:25:39At the L house
00:25:4110.30, eh?
00:25:42This movie is shit.
00:25:44Girl, I saw your beaver flash.
00:25:49I'll never be the same.
00:25:53Oh, no.
00:25:59You gave me a soul kiss.
00:26:05Boy, it sure was grand.
00:26:12Johnny, now that I'm homeless, what do you plan to do with me?
00:26:15I'm going to love you.
00:26:18I'm going to marry you.
00:26:22And that should take care of me for about 60 years.
00:26:27Is that a threat or a promise?
00:26:29Well, that's a threat.
00:26:33I'm getting old, though.
00:26:34Yeah, real old, Johnny.
00:26:36I'm serious.
00:26:38Next thing you know, I'll be on the beach with that big belly,
00:26:43sporting a bikini underwear, just walking.
00:26:48Then comes gray hair.
00:26:51Comes ear hair coming out of my ears.
00:26:54Then comes white hair.
00:26:55Then comes no hair.
00:26:57Then comes no teeth.
00:26:58Then boom, you're 70 years old.
00:27:01Or 80.
00:27:04Nature.
00:27:07I'll be there.
00:27:20You kids having a good time?
00:27:26Hey, John.
00:27:27Johnny ball game.
00:27:29All right.
00:27:30Now, I don't mean to interrupt you.
00:27:31I just want you to know, John,
00:27:33there's a lot of phony hype with all these schools.
00:27:36Now, I know you better than you know yourself.
00:27:38And right now,
00:27:40the best situation for you is Piermont.
00:27:43Oh, yeah, Coach?
00:27:44Really?
00:27:45Yeah.
00:27:46Can I tell him you'll come down for a visit this weekend?
00:27:48Coach.
00:27:52He'd be my horse
00:27:54if he never even ran a race.
00:27:56Okay?
00:27:56I'll be there.
00:27:58Johnny ball game.
00:27:59Okay.
00:28:00I'll have him send you a plane ticket.
00:28:01Yeah.
00:28:04You know, I've always been fond of you, kid.
00:28:06Thank you, Coach.
00:28:07I'm fond of your pacer.
00:28:10I'm most fond of that.
00:28:12Hey.
00:28:13You can have one of these someday.
00:28:15Don't tease me, Coach.
00:28:22It's the last damn school
00:28:23I've ever visited in my life.
00:28:25Johnny, why are you visiting all these schools?
00:28:29I thought we planned to go to state.
00:28:32To be together.
00:28:34I can't just ignore the opportunity
00:28:37to go see schools,
00:28:38see the country.
00:28:41You wouldn't want that.
00:28:46Let me get that look on your face.
00:28:48Let me get a kiss, please.
00:28:49Like, let me get a Georgia fish kiss.
00:28:53Come get it.
00:28:57Come get it?
00:29:00Come on.
00:29:03Ooh.
00:29:24That's the way to travel, ain't it, soldier?
00:29:26Huh?
00:29:26You see the country here
00:29:27and first-class bucket seats?
00:29:31Price is right, too, huh?
00:29:33Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:29:35Huh.
00:29:36What, are you, a private?
00:29:38Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:40You mind?
00:29:41Hey, this is a family bus here.
00:29:44Hey, Slim.
00:29:45Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:46Hey, Slim.
00:29:47Hey, knock it off, will you?
00:30:03I wonder if that's the old text plane.
00:30:04Have you seen a lot of commercial airlines
00:30:06that look like flying horny toad?
00:30:08No.
00:30:19Get off that.
00:30:20No.
00:30:21Please.
00:30:26Hi.
00:30:26How y'all doing?
00:30:27How you doing?
00:30:28Good to see you.
00:30:29My name's Tex Wade.
00:30:30I'm going to be your host for the weekend.
00:30:31I'm going to make sure you get everything you want
00:30:34from your visit to old Tex.
00:30:36Well, thank you, Tex.
00:30:37You got a lot of style, Tex.
00:30:39How about a little something to blur your vision, Johnny?
00:30:43No, thanks, Tex.
00:30:44Well, then, hop in.
00:30:45Okay.
00:30:46Bye, Georgia.
00:30:47Johnny.
00:30:48Be good.
00:30:53Come on in, Tex.
00:30:56Georgia, can you see his boots?
00:30:59See you, Georgia.
00:31:03Ah!
00:31:04Just kidding, Tex.
00:31:05Ah!
00:31:06Man!
00:31:19Where is that punk?
00:31:21Excuse me?
00:31:23I'm not talking to you, lady.
00:31:25What a jerk.
00:31:33I think it's time for more valuable than mine, I guess.
00:31:36Probably stroking his muskrat somewhere.
00:31:43Sit down, Coach.
00:31:44Oh, thank you.
00:31:48You're late.
00:31:49Where's the kid?
00:31:50Uh, they sprung a math test on him.
00:31:54Can you believe that?
00:31:55Now, he'll be flying down a little later.
00:31:58Actually, I should give him a little call.
00:31:59Use the phone back there, please.
00:32:01Yeah.
00:32:03We should have seen that airport.
00:32:04What a madhouse.
00:32:07It's a beautiful office, Jasper.
00:32:10Not too shabby.
00:32:13John, how are you?
00:32:16What's the matter?
00:32:17Oh, that's terrible.
00:32:19Listen, don't worry about a thing.
00:32:21We'll just reschedule a meeting, okay?
00:32:23I know.
00:32:24I know you want to come here with me.
00:32:26It's all right.
00:32:26You haven't hurt your chances.
00:32:28Now, look.
00:32:29As soon as I get off the airplane, I'm coming right over to see you.
00:32:32All right.
00:32:33I love you, too, son.
00:32:35Bye-bye.
00:32:37That's a great kid.
00:32:40Bye-bye.
00:33:08I want you to feel right at home, like family.
00:33:11Like this was your very own ranch.
00:33:14Right.
00:33:14Look, this comes straight from my heart, Johnny.
00:33:17Everybody here loves you.
00:33:19You see these long-stemmed American beauties here?
00:33:21They're all for you.
00:33:22They're yours.
00:33:23That grass is yours.
00:33:24This whole shindig is yours.
00:33:25Them trees are yours.
00:33:26Hell, that lake is yours.
00:33:28Is this part of the campus, Tech?
00:33:29You can call it part of the campus, Johnny.
00:33:32Hell, you come to Old Tech's, you can call it anything you want.
00:33:35I love Old Tech's.
00:33:36Margarita, Mr. Wayne.
00:33:37Don't mind if you do, darling.
00:33:39Here you go.
00:33:40I had one of these.
00:33:42Shit, everybody drinks with margaritas at Old Tech's.
00:33:46Feisty little filly, ain't she?
00:33:48My wife says they're medicinal.
00:33:50He's out of the chute.
00:33:53It's back to me.
00:33:55Bebe, we're shaking.
00:33:57Come on, break yourself loose here.
00:33:58Say hi to Johnny Walker.
00:33:59Johnny, captain of the team, Bad Breath Bannister.
00:34:02Good to meet you.
00:34:02Tough foodie, Bebe.
00:34:03Good to meet you.
00:34:03That boy's breath would gag him, like it.
00:34:05I know, I detect him, but he's got to be hot.
00:34:07Hi.
00:34:08Ladies and gents, and I have your attention for one minute.
00:34:12I want to introduce to you five of the most sought-after football players in the entire country.
00:34:22Boys, come on now.
00:34:24Step up here.
00:34:32And you're going to get him.
00:34:34This here is Flick Weaver, Pete Andropoulos, Benny Fink, and that hunk of Mexican Samoan manflesh,
00:34:43Jose Mopupu, and last but not least, Johnny Rocket R. Walker.
00:34:49We want you.
00:34:51We want you.
00:34:52We want you.
00:34:55Hail, O Tex, let the Spirit lead.
00:35:00Hail, O Tex, on to victory.
00:35:06Our minds and hearts are with you.
00:35:11Your hallowed walk, we praise.
00:35:15Hail, O Tex, all the living things.
00:35:21Hail, O Tex, all the living things.
00:35:36Hail, O Tex.
00:35:38Hail, O Tex, all the living things.
00:35:40Hail, O Tex.
00:35:41Hail, O Tex, it's great.
00:35:42Yeah, they can't come close to the money, fear myself.
00:35:45Man, we ain't that junk bond bullshit.
00:35:47I'm splitting.
00:35:48Where you going?
00:35:50I'm going to get some Chinese.
00:35:52Man, ain't you boy yet, brother?
00:35:53I'm not talking about food.
00:35:55I told Tex I'd only come to visit
00:35:56if you got me two Chinese girls.
00:35:58Yo, Flick.
00:35:59It is.
00:36:00Boom, dang, foo, yang, hoss.
00:36:02We're gonna show you a real good time.
00:36:07How you doing, Carmen?
00:36:08I'm glad to see you.
00:36:09Ralph, what's up with you, man?
00:36:10How you doing?
00:36:11How's it feeling, man?
00:36:12I'm pretty good.
00:36:13Things looking up?
00:36:14Star Mark is down.
00:36:15Stocks are down, huh?
00:36:16Uh-huh.
00:36:17How's your wife, man?
00:36:18Oh, fair.
00:36:19I need a partner.
00:36:21Still picking pockets, man?
00:36:22Yeah.
00:36:24She's a lovely woman
00:36:28And she makes you smile
00:36:30I'm here to tell you that it is my responsibility
00:36:33to welcome you to the fold of old Tex.
00:36:36Sorta like a queen bee with a hive.
00:36:40And I never miss.
00:36:42I got me a player in every class.
00:36:48In order to prepare you for tonight's experience,
00:36:52we need to do a little hot heart exercise.
00:36:54Now, I'm gonna send you some energy.
00:36:57Do you feel it?
00:36:59Do you feel it?
00:37:00I feel it.
00:37:01I feel it.
00:37:02I feel it.
00:37:02Do you feel heat?
00:37:03I feel heat.
00:37:05I feel heat.
00:37:05Okay, okay.
00:37:06I feel it, too.
00:37:07Okay, now.
00:37:09How'd you like to go visit our campus?
00:37:12Where the hell is that campus, by the way?
00:37:13I was gonna ask you that.
00:37:14Well, I'm glad you asked
00:37:16because I'm gonna take you there right now.
00:37:18Thank you, ma'am.
00:37:19Well, let us grab our drinks and, uh, vamoose.
00:37:23Oh, numero uno.
00:37:27I am gonna show you, you lucky boy,
00:37:29why they call us the horny toads.
00:37:34Well, darling, this is far more than a football game.
00:37:37Oh, armadillo.
00:37:38I mean, we have a very fine medical program
00:37:41in which many operators have come out successful.
00:37:44Oh, is that right?
00:37:44Well, you understand the word opera?
00:37:46Not at all.
00:37:47Was that your hand?
00:37:48That was yours.
00:37:49Oh, oh, well, that was my hand, darling.
00:37:52I thought it was a pillow, but I could see I was mistaken.
00:37:56Oh, that's amazing.
00:37:57And, uh, and, as you can see, we have a very fine library.
00:38:01I can see that.
00:38:02Well, we'll see the library next.
00:38:05Oh.
00:38:07Excuse me.
00:38:14Listen, if you're not interested in her,
00:38:17I may know something.
00:38:20A little more your speed.
00:38:22What?
00:38:25Now, darling,
00:38:28I thought this would be a more intimate place to dine.
00:38:32A little more spacious.
00:38:33I can't believe the size of this canvas.
00:38:36It's huge.
00:38:37Well, you better.
00:38:38You're all gonna be saying it.
00:38:39Go, Johnny, go.
00:38:40In the fall, 80,000 people will be cheering you on, darling.
00:38:44Johnny Walker!
00:38:46And I can guarantee you something, sweetheart.
00:38:49It will be nothing like the performance I am about to give.
00:38:55Oh, no.
00:38:56No, no, no, no.
00:38:58No.
00:38:59Yes.
00:39:00Oh, ouch.
00:39:01Oh, boink.
00:39:02Thank you so much.
00:39:04Matter of fact, I should start abusing that term.
00:39:07Because it will get in and out of more situations with smooth sincerity.
00:39:15Absolutely the best thing I could say is thank you right now.
00:39:18Thank you and, well, thank you.
00:39:21Darling, you talk too much.
00:39:23Wait a minute.
00:39:23No, thank you.
00:39:24See, I'm not the type of guy who thinks we just do...
00:39:26Joe Bob!
00:39:27Joe!
00:39:29Tell them about the old Tex baby dolls
00:39:31and how they like to sneak in the locker room at halftime.
00:39:35Lordy mercy, boys.
00:39:36We spend $20,000 a month on these pretty little fillies
00:39:40just for the football program alone.
00:39:42You're gonna like it here.
00:39:44Please stop.
00:39:45Stop.
00:39:46Hey, thank you very much.
00:39:48Look, thank you enough.
00:39:49You're making this hard enough.
00:39:51Please, stop.
00:39:53Oh!
00:39:54Jose, come on down here, boy.
00:39:56I wanna show you your feature.
00:39:58Speaking of luxury, if my eyes don't deceive me,
00:40:00that's a boy getting his knob polished right there on the 50-yard line.
00:40:04Say what?
00:40:05Come on.
00:40:06I gotta go.
00:40:08Oh!
00:40:08Oh!
00:40:09Oh, wait.
00:40:09Where did you come?
00:40:11Don't leave.
00:40:11Don't leave.
00:40:13Let me go.
00:40:14Oh, I gotta put this up on the scoreboard.
00:40:17See it a little clearer.
00:40:18Please, let me go!
00:40:19Yeah.
00:40:20Hey!
00:40:20Hey, my boy!
00:40:20No, I'm not a homosexual.
00:40:23I have to go.
00:40:25He's youred.
00:40:26My God, I'll be dipped in dog shit.
00:40:29That's Johnny Walker.
00:40:30Hey!
00:40:31What the shit?
00:40:33That's my wife!
00:40:35Tim, I'm not your wife.
00:40:36Who said that?
00:40:37Wait a minute, please!
00:40:38You have a husband.
00:40:38I'm getting out of here now.
00:40:39This is it, and I'm out.
00:40:41And put those dits away.
00:40:42This was no med school
00:41:24This is a medical school
00:41:43Hey boys, come on down here
00:41:45Got the entire front row for y'all
00:41:48Oh my gosh
00:41:58Look at that equipment
00:42:00Oh yeah
00:42:12Oh yeah
00:42:12I'm a little bit
00:42:25Oh yeah
00:42:30Oh yeah
00:42:31Oh yeah
00:42:31I'm a little bit
00:42:32Oh yeah
00:42:32It's so nice I hope you've given this watch
00:42:36Oh yeah
00:42:37Yeah
00:42:38Oh yeah
00:42:38Woo
00:42:38Get some beer now
00:42:40Yes sir, we're here!
00:42:42Come on in!
00:42:47How you doing?
00:42:48Doing good, how you doing?
00:42:50Good, good.
00:42:51Uh, you, uh, going to play football at Old Tech's?
00:42:54Oh, I don't know yet.
00:42:57You know, I used to be a football player.
00:43:00They said I would've been all-American if I hadn't hurt my leg.
00:43:05What happened?
00:43:07Did you go to Old Tech's?
00:43:09I was going to, but I really got the chance.
00:43:14After they took my scholarship away, I had to quit school.
00:43:19But Old Tech took care of me, got me this job.
00:43:25I ain't complaining.
00:43:33Hey!
00:43:35Yeah, buddy!
00:43:37Yeah!
00:43:38Yeah!
00:43:39Woo!
00:43:40Woo!
00:43:41Woo!
00:43:42Blue Finish!
00:43:44Yeah!
00:43:45What's this stuff, man?
00:43:47Oh, come on!
00:43:49Woo!
00:43:50Woo!
00:43:50Woo-hoo!
00:43:51What is it?
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:53Woo!
00:43:53You've got a photo big!
00:43:55Ah!
00:43:56That's Texas sushi boy!
00:43:58Woo!
00:43:58Get you, man!
00:44:01Yeah, we're moving.
00:44:03Fuß!
00:44:05Come on, let's get out of here.
00:44:07Let's get out of here.
00:44:11Let's get out of here.
00:44:22Hurry up.
00:44:28Johnny.
00:44:29Johnny.
00:44:29Why don't you visit old tax, man?
00:44:31I need silence.
00:44:32I need silence.
00:44:33I don't know.
00:44:34I don't know.
00:44:36Come on.
00:44:36You're smart of that, Johnny.
00:44:38I don't know.
00:44:38I don't know.
00:44:40I don't know.
00:44:41Nothing else means squat.
00:44:46Hey.
00:44:47Hey.
00:44:48Hi, honey.
00:44:50How was the campus?
00:44:52The campus?
00:44:53Hi.
00:44:54Um, it was nice, Mom.
00:44:56Yeah, it was nice.
00:44:57It really was a nice campus.
00:44:59Well, you think of old Texas just a football school, right?
00:45:01And in actuality, they have the finest pre-med school in the country.
00:45:07Really, just a fierce, it was a beautiful setup.
00:45:10Yeah.
00:45:10It was nice.
00:45:11It really was.
00:45:13Listen, something wonderful happened while you were away.
00:45:16This fella calls up on the telephone, you see?
00:45:19And he orders 10,000 wall-eyed gibblers.
00:45:22Yeah.
00:45:23Apparently, he gives them away on his late-night television show.
00:45:25Like, like those vegematics or those spiffy little fishing rods that turn into can openers.
00:45:31He says, we could make a small fortune on this deal.
00:45:35You know?
00:45:36That's excellent, Graham.
00:45:38Yeah.
00:45:38Yeah, so he called, huh?
00:45:40The fella says, so long as they sell, the orders will just keep coming in.
00:45:45You know, we could maybe buy a larger house.
00:45:49That'll really catch a lot of fish.
00:45:51Hi, Johnny.
00:45:52Hey, Monica.
00:45:53She brews those tomatoes now.
00:45:59You folks tried those biscuits?
00:46:00They're delicious.
00:46:01What do you think?
00:46:02You think of school yet, Johnny?
00:46:04Baby Love.
00:46:06Hey.
00:46:07How was it?
00:46:09It was cool.
00:46:10It was good.
00:46:11I had a good time.
00:46:13Yeah?
00:46:15So how were the girls?
00:46:17Hmm?
00:46:18The girls?
00:46:20How were the girls?
00:46:23Well, they were, um, very short, very fat, and kind of weird looking.
00:46:32What was her name?
00:46:33Huh?
00:46:34What was her name?
00:46:38The woman I had dinner with was Luanda.
00:46:40Yeah, that was Tex's wife.
00:46:42Luanda?
00:46:43Very old chick.
00:46:44Very fat woman.
00:46:45And very funny looking.
00:46:47She took me to dinner and, you know.
00:46:51What do you think of Texas?
00:46:52And, you know.
00:46:53I love it.
00:46:54You know.
00:46:55A lot of small talk.
00:46:56And, um, yeah, I didn't, you know, I didn't do anything.
00:47:00You know.
00:47:00I touched her.
00:47:06What are you, what are you thinking about?
00:47:10I think you're an asshole.
00:47:25This boy-girl shit hurts, man.
00:47:28Oh, no, Pete.
00:47:30None of that.
00:47:31It's a bogus product.
00:47:32It's a payoff.
00:47:33No self-respecting fish would go nearer while I give her.
00:47:37Hey, Leo.
00:47:37Read my lips.
00:47:39Joe Bob promised my grandfather he'd buy 10,000 in things.
00:47:42Okay?
00:47:43Yeah, you're confused.
00:47:44You're repeating yourself.
00:47:45Maybe.
00:47:46You're wrong.
00:47:47Wow.
00:47:48I couldn't break his heart like that.
00:47:50Do you understand?
00:47:51Well, I can't commit to old Tex.
00:47:53I'll tell you something, Leo.
00:47:54I had such a groove in Texas.
00:47:56Vomited margaritas the whole way home.
00:47:58It was beautiful.
00:47:59I'm telling you.
00:47:59It really runs.
00:48:00You'll spew forth the, uh, drink of every school you visit.
00:48:02I like that.
00:48:03I'll keep it in mind.
00:48:04Give me a hand.
00:48:04Hey!
00:48:05Howdy, Chief!
00:48:07Dirtbags!
00:48:09You'll see, see.
00:48:10You'll see, see.
00:48:11You'll see, see.
00:48:12You'll see, see.
00:48:13You'll see, see.
00:48:14What's shaking, Coach?
00:48:15I didn't know you'd show.
00:48:18Coach, how do you feel?
00:48:20John, you promised me you were gonna visit Piermont.
00:48:24He's not going to Piermont.
00:48:26You get it?
00:48:27Got it?
00:48:27Goose yourself.
00:48:30If I want any shit out of you, Leo, I'll squeeze your head.
00:48:37You better listen to me, son.
00:48:39You're on the verge of destroying your entire career.
00:48:44I'm not gonna let it happen.
00:48:46I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure you do the right thing.
00:49:01You keep playing games with me, you're gonna end up waiting on tables with this guy.
00:49:06That was cold-blooded, Coach.
00:49:09Coach, where's your shoes?
00:49:10Got those shoes, Coach.
00:49:12Look, are you sure Tom won't want to order more of my lures?
00:49:16We haven't sold one in three years.
00:49:20Well, Harvey, you tell him that a big shot down in Texas just ordered 10,000 of them.
00:49:25Ha!
00:49:26Reckon the fish in that state are gonna be safe for a while.
00:49:53Grandpa Walker.
00:49:55Have a word with you?
00:49:56Sure, Coach.
00:49:57Sit down.
00:49:58Got some bad news.
00:50:00You know Tom Norman.
00:50:01Well, he owns this shop.
00:50:02Fishing buddy.
00:50:04What's happening?
00:50:05Well, apparently, he's very connected with some of the alumni from Piermont.
00:50:09Tom tells me that if Johnny doesn't go to Piermont, he's gonna have to cut off your credit here.
00:50:15Hey, I hear you're flunkin' English.
00:50:16Ouch!
00:50:18John, you need that English, son.
00:50:28You did your term paper in the American hardware store, huh?
00:50:31Maybe you deserved that act.
00:50:32I won't hear anything about it.
00:50:33It's a very legitimate topic.
00:50:35Well, yes it is, and I must read it.
00:50:36I know you wanted to.
00:50:37So, Leo, I think you know why we're here today.
00:50:41I think you do.
00:50:42I guess he's been messing with me, Leo.
00:50:44He's been messing with my grandfather.
00:50:47He's been messing with my little brother.
00:50:49My little sister.
00:50:52He's been messing with my mom, Leo.
00:50:55He's been talking to her.
00:50:56Messing with her.
00:50:58And now, we're gonna mess with him, Leo.
00:51:02Are you with me?
00:51:04Me!
00:51:06He ruined his life, man.
00:51:09Gonna ruin it good.
00:51:10Gonna do the wrong thing like I thought I could.
00:51:13Oh, Leo Vengeance is mine.
00:51:15Here we went.
00:51:15You made all the calls, didn't you, my friend?
00:51:16All comes together now.
00:51:18Thought I wouldn't wait till you see these chihuahuas.
00:51:26Panic keeps on.
00:51:28John, glad you boys came by.
00:51:31The wife has a Tupperware party, but we can talk in the dentist.
00:51:34I'd appreciate that, Coach.
00:51:36That's good.
00:51:36Come on, right in, please.
00:51:38It has green.
00:51:41It has blue.
00:51:43It has purple.
00:51:45Is that purple?
00:51:47You boys met my children before, sugar and honey.
00:51:50Oh, I love your kids.
00:51:51Uh-huh.
00:51:51Coach, I've been giving a lot of thought to what you told me about Piermont.
00:51:53I really have.
00:51:54Oh, that's good.
00:51:55Yeah.
00:51:56Except I'm having a little problem with my English grade.
00:51:59Really?
00:52:00Yeah, I thought you could help.
00:52:03Yeah, I might be able to help you out with that.
00:52:06Sure.
00:52:07I thought you could.
00:52:09Boop.
00:52:11Stick with me, Johnny.
00:52:12More pumpkin yet?
00:52:13Don't get up, pumpkin.
00:52:15Keep selling your cookies.
00:52:16Thanks.
00:52:17No.
00:52:18Pizza delivery for Hitler.
00:52:20Hitler?
00:52:21His...
00:52:21Hisler.
00:52:21Where are you going?
00:52:23Hey, wait a minute.
00:52:23Wait a minute, fellas.
00:52:24Wait a minute.
00:52:25I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:27No, it won't be $283.
00:52:29I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:30Look, pal.
00:52:31You order pizza, we bring you pizza.
00:52:33Hey, listen.
00:52:33You like pizza?
00:52:34Sure.
00:52:34Yeah, you like it all.
00:52:36You...
00:52:36Okay?
00:52:37You eat the pizza.
00:52:41What are you doing?
00:52:43Can't you take a joke, mister?
00:52:45Yeah.
00:52:45Let's go for that, Tony.
00:52:47Get that shotgun.
00:52:48Ah!
00:52:50I'm coming.
00:52:50I'm coming.
00:52:51Can I have the rest of the pizzas?
00:52:55Ah!
00:52:56Ah!
00:52:59Ah!
00:53:00Ah!
00:53:02Is this for me?
00:53:03No!
00:53:04It's for nobody!
00:53:04Get out of here, now!
00:53:05Ah!
00:53:07Ah!
00:53:08Ah!
00:53:09Ah!
00:53:09Ah!
00:53:10Ah!
00:53:10Ah!
00:53:11Ah!
00:53:11Ah!
00:53:11Ah!
00:53:12Ah!
00:53:13Ah!
00:53:21Ah!
00:53:22Ah!
00:53:33C'mon!
00:53:35Oh!
00:53:36Ah!
00:54:06Wow.
00:54:31Yeah, that looks really smart.
00:54:35You look good?
00:54:36Yeah.
00:54:38Definitely want to see him.
00:54:39Yeah.
00:54:40Fast like Homer Jones.
00:54:41Remember Homer?
00:54:42Yeah.
00:54:43Yeah.
00:54:44That's what it's a student.
00:54:4695 average?
00:54:47That's great.
00:54:48Let's have dinner next Tuesday.
00:54:49I gotta go.
00:54:50Next Tuesday, OK?
00:54:52I really have to go.
00:54:53Bye-bye.
00:54:54Let me see, Coach.
00:54:56How you feel?
00:54:58Would you mind removing your feet from my desk, please?
00:55:01Oh, yeah.
00:55:04So I came here to do some business with you today, sir.
00:55:08I just got back from old Texas, ready to cut a very sweet, lucrative deal with me.
00:55:11Except the thing of it is, is I want to play here.
00:55:13I want to come to state.
00:55:18Johnny, we don't give out deals here.
00:55:21What?
00:55:23We give the usual scholarship, room and board, a good education.
00:55:30Everyone has to actually go to class here.
00:55:34And I like to believe that we offer a good background in football.
00:55:37You know, we had a lot of players going to pro ball.
00:55:40That's nice, Coach.
00:55:41But, uh, you're losing the top high school athletes every year for a reason.
00:55:48What's that?
00:55:51Well, you're not giving them anything.
00:55:53You gotta show them something.
00:55:54They gotta see something.
00:55:55They gotta know that they're gonna get something.
00:55:56With cash, you know, cars, apartments, money.
00:56:01Hookups, you know what I mean?
00:56:03We're looking for benefits these days, Coach.
00:56:06Look, Johnny.
00:56:07I like you.
00:56:08So I'm not gonna be an issue.
00:56:11You're a good athlete.
00:56:13You have a lot of talent.
00:56:14And a lot of energy.
00:56:17So I'm warning you.
00:56:19You're getting into something that you don't understand.
00:56:21See, when where goes out that a kid like yourself is looking for a deal,
00:56:26well, believe me, that deal turns out to be a lot stronger
00:56:29than that kid ever bargained for.
00:56:32Be careful.
00:56:34You're playing with fire.
00:57:06You're playing with fire.
00:57:07Are you crazy?
00:57:08My father sleeps with his gun.
00:57:15I heard you visit a stake.
00:57:20Does this mean the lobotomy's worn off?
00:57:28Well, since you're not going to speak, you will rub my feet.
00:57:37I mean, far be it for me to ask you to apologize
00:57:39when you have behaved like a complete son of a bitch,
00:57:43but, um...
00:57:57I don't know.
00:58:08Flowers that fester smell far worse than weeds.
00:58:13That means you stink.
00:58:20But it was sweet.
00:58:23I guess I am still sweet on you.
00:58:26I'll cut it in ten minutes.
00:58:29You're a bombshell.
00:58:37You see me!
00:58:38Ow!
00:58:39You're going to the text.
00:58:40No, enough!
00:58:41Keep going.
00:58:42You're going to the text!
00:58:42You're going to the text!
00:58:50No, no, no, no real shots, no real shots.
00:58:58You wouldn't really use that.
00:58:59Yes, sir, I would.
00:59:00No, you're not going to use that.
00:59:01Yes, sir, I would.
00:59:05Leo.
00:59:06What?
00:59:07What do you really want out of life, huh?
00:59:11I don't want Johnny Walker to go to California.
00:59:17All right, I'll go.
00:59:19You all right?
00:59:19Yes.
00:59:20Let's go.
00:59:39Let's go.
01:00:04Hey, how you doing, Johnny?
01:00:05Lou Landers, ICA.
01:00:07It's good to see you.
01:00:08Welcome to California.
01:00:09We got a fine time plan for you, buddy.
01:00:11Listen, Lou, I'm here to meet the money man.
01:00:13I'm here on business, not pleasure.
01:00:15Well, I am the money man, Johnny.
01:00:17And I'll tell you something.
01:00:18I'm going to take you to meet the best quarterback in the country.
01:00:20Close personal friend of mine.
01:00:21Give me five, Johnny.
01:00:23Never touch.
01:00:43Jim McMahon wears Adidas.
01:00:57Either I wear Adidas or I wear nothing.
01:01:03Almost nothing.
01:01:05And cut.
01:01:06Great.
01:01:06Beautiful.
01:01:08Amazing.
01:01:09Beautiful, Jim.
01:01:10Here you go, Jim.
01:01:11I don't know how you do it, Jimmy.
01:01:12Every time.
01:01:14Back to the golf course again, huh?
01:01:15Okay, Brent.
01:01:16The rest of the day, thank you, Johnny.
01:01:17Okay, just one more.
01:01:18Hey, Norman.
01:01:19Thanks a lot, man.
01:01:20You bet, boss.
01:01:20Thanks, Bob.
01:01:22Jimmy.
01:01:23Jimmy, how you doing?
01:01:24Listen, I want you to meet Johnny Walker.
01:01:27What's up, Jimmy?
01:01:28How you doing, Johnny?
01:01:30Glad to see you're coming to UCC.
01:01:32Well, I haven't really made up my mind yet, but I'm damn glad to meet you, man.
01:01:36Hey, Jimmy.
01:01:36Listen, I'm having a little party for my man tonight.
01:01:38Why don't you stop by the house, huh?
01:01:40Well, I'd love to, but I promised my wife I wouldn't show up at your place anymore.
01:01:47What a kidder, huh?
01:01:49I love you, Jimmy.
01:01:50Hey, maybe next time, huh, babe?
01:01:53Hey, Lou.
01:01:54Yeah?
01:01:55Did you notice how he had his hair done up right there?
01:01:57Yeah, it looks good.
01:01:58Just like mine, like you planned it for me, I think, almost.
01:01:59Listen, John, let me tell you something.
01:02:01Serious, huh?
01:02:02If you play your cards right, you could be the next Adidas fan someday, huh?
01:02:04Lou, he had his hair hooked up just like mine.
01:02:071.45.
01:02:08Walker receives jacket from the lanterns.
01:02:10Over now.
01:02:17I know I may talk 90% of the time, Johnny, but believe me, I only take 10% of
01:02:22the action.
01:02:24How you doing, Doc?
01:02:25Terrific, Lou.
01:02:26Terrific.
01:02:30Louie.
01:02:31Yeah?
01:02:32My mother's medicine counter was never like this.
01:02:35Don't worry about it, Johnny.
01:02:36You're not in Ashcroft anymore.
01:02:38We use only the finest steroids available.
01:02:40Oh.
01:02:42We have only one mindset here at UCC, Johnny, and that is that our boys are winners.
01:02:46Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:48That's right, boys.
01:02:48I love these guys like my own kids, Johnny.
01:02:51And because of that, I take better care of them than their own mommies do.
01:02:54Isn't that right, boys?
01:02:57We have the best training facilities in the country, Johnny.
01:03:00College or pro.
01:03:01I mean, our men are appreciated for the fine pieces of machinery that they are.
01:03:04What's up, Slate?
01:03:05Hey.
01:03:06Does he play here?
01:03:07No, no, no.
01:03:08He just pisses for the players so they pass their drug test.
01:03:10It's a designated pisser, huh?
01:03:12Yeah.
01:03:12Hey, let's get you some threads for the party, huh, Johnny?
01:03:14Uh, all right.
01:03:16Well, how tall are you?
01:03:17Five eights.
01:03:37Hi.
01:03:42I'm Tex Wade.
01:03:43I'm looking for Johnny Walker.
01:03:44Oh.
01:03:45Well, he hasn't got back from UCC yet.
01:03:48What the hell's he doing at UCC?
01:03:50Isn't he committed to old Tex?
01:03:52As far as I know, he hasn't committed to himself anywhere.
01:03:56Well, I hate to be the one enlightening, Grandpa, but you did not get that order for them 10,000
01:04:02walleye gibblers because they catch fish.
01:04:07What are you saying, mister?
01:04:10You figure it out, Grandpa.
01:04:26Oh, it's gonna be home.
01:04:28Thanks, everybody.
01:04:32Hey, Johnny Walker.
01:04:35Johnny Walker.
01:04:36I stand accused of a social climber.
01:04:54I know your father hated you.
01:04:56Well, he used to, but we're real tight now.
01:04:59We just kind of woke up one morning, we had breakfast, and now, you know, real solid.
01:05:04Things are real good.
01:05:05Ugh.
01:05:06I look cleaner than the Board of Health, don't I?
01:05:08Nothing.
01:05:09You kind of look like a combo Liberace meets Prince's Mom, but it's good.
01:05:15Oh.
01:05:16I will never concede, there is no second best.
01:05:21Do you remain unimpressed?
01:05:24Cause I've been there, done that.
01:05:28Bye, now.
01:05:34What's happening, Chief?
01:05:36Where did you finally decide to go to college?
01:05:38Clown school?
01:05:41You know what you are, Chief?
01:05:42You're an officer of love.
01:05:43Not of law, of love you are.
01:05:53Do you dig it?
01:05:56It's a look.
01:06:07I'll be back.
01:06:10I'll be back.
01:06:21I'll be back.
01:06:27Mom, Mom, Johnny's lost his mind.
01:06:35What do you think?
01:06:43Mom, I gotta tell you about the school.
01:06:46UCC has a pre-med program.
01:06:48Absolutely blows old techs away.
01:06:49Not even into running anymore, old techs.
01:06:51Because you know why?
01:06:52I'm gonna get about three times the lifetime I had at old techs.
01:06:56Johnny, what has happened to you?
01:06:59Me? I'm great. Don't I look great?
01:07:01I feel great, Mom. I really do.
01:07:03UCC is a football factory, Johnny.
01:07:06Only about half the players there even graduate.
01:07:08What about your education?
01:07:11Mom, education, please, okay?
01:07:12Just please step off with that, okay?
01:07:15I want to tell you something.
01:07:16I have a much better deal here at UCC.
01:07:18They're working out a sweeter deal.
01:07:19And they're gonna take care of everything, guys.
01:07:21The way old techs took care of me.
01:07:26Come on, look. Everyone looks nauseous here now.
01:07:29I want to explain to you, okay?
01:07:31UCC has a better deal for me.
01:07:33They're gonna hook us up.
01:07:35Mom, you'll have a bigger house.
01:07:36I don't want a bigger house, Johnny.
01:07:39I want you to stop thinking about yourself
01:07:40and start thinking about what's right and about your family.
01:07:43We're the people who love you.
01:07:45Or maybe you've been too busy learjetting around to remember that.
01:07:48I mean, look at you.
01:07:50Purple and gold.
01:07:51You look ridiculous.
01:07:54I don't know how this could have happened.
01:07:58Maybe it was just too important a decision to leave up to you.
01:08:02Hey, Mom. Wait a second.
01:08:03Mom, can we...
01:08:12Come on, Gramps. Isn't this what you wanted?
01:08:15I wanted to sell my lures, not my grandson.
01:08:20Come on.
01:08:24Grant.
01:08:26Grant.
01:08:35What do you think, Randy? Come on. What's up?
01:08:38I'm gonna go do my homework and take a reality break.
01:08:57Johnny, I had a deep, revelatory vision,
01:08:59and I think you should drop this whole ridiculous college ball thing.
01:09:02And do what?
01:09:03Become a professional waiter.
01:09:05I like to develop a reputation as a bistro's most courteous server.
01:09:09Mm-hmm.
01:09:10And, of course, you're waiting for one night
01:09:11when the manager's relatives come in.
01:09:13Mm-hmm.
01:09:13You seat them, you serve them, you wine them, you dine them,
01:09:16you read them the specials.
01:09:17That's right.
01:09:18You take the last of their orders.
01:09:19And then you say, actually, it's the fish or nothing!
01:09:24Of course, at this point, they're all jamming for the door like wild.
01:09:27You tackle down around me ankles, you get them down on the ground,
01:09:29you pound them in the spine, you say,
01:09:31what, are you trying to stiff me on the gratuity, you fop?
01:09:34You think she is your only move?
01:09:37You think she is your evermost groove?
01:09:41Excuse me.
01:09:43We're new in town, and we've never had sex before.
01:09:46Would you give us a hand?
01:09:49Up!
01:09:50Don't follow the dames.
01:09:53Don't follow the dames.
01:09:55Don't follow the dames.
01:09:57Leo, Leo, Leo, I want to go home.
01:09:59Leo.
01:10:00I started dating this Nancy girl specifically
01:10:03because she was a virgin.
01:10:06Well, milliseconds before initial penetration,
01:10:09I just shut up in bed like a reversed domino.
01:10:13And I just said, hey, hey, hey, hey, there'll be none of this.
01:10:16What kind of boy do you think I am?
01:10:18I will hardly pop you without having met your father.
01:10:21Get him on the horn.
01:10:22The things that make life worth so much and so worthwhile
01:10:28are things that we have to look up at a lot of the time.
01:10:31It's clouds, it's stars, children.
01:10:34By the way, where is the can?
01:10:36I have to take an awful putrid asparagus piss.
01:10:40He says down the hall to the left.
01:10:42Well, that just really ticked me off.
01:10:44So I got up and I said, just a goddamn minute, that won't do.
01:10:47I run right up to the family drapes
01:10:49and proceed to write my surname on the manure.
01:10:52Well, Mom bolts out of the lazy boy chair
01:10:54and comes over and delivers me a flurry, flurry of slaps.
01:10:57So I retaliate with a series of blows
01:10:59to her midriff and midsection that I usually reserve only
01:11:02for those times when I actually do cigarette.
01:11:05I'm a winner.
01:11:06Snap her spine like an all-blown-ass man.
01:11:08And so all these big money men
01:11:09are offering me this, this, this, and this, you know?
01:11:12Because I came home wearing, like, heels and gold.
01:11:15And my mother sat me down and she told me what the deal was,
01:11:18you know, and spoke her mind.
01:11:20And I've been acting crazy.
01:11:21I really have.
01:11:23You haven't spent any time.
01:11:24You still conscious of your sister?
01:11:25She's talking.
01:11:26Good man, Father Dixon.
01:11:27Completely sold enough.
01:11:29Before I tell you that way.
01:11:30Let her go.
01:11:31It's been an hour.
01:11:32Look, I seem to have lockjaw of the arm.
01:11:41Love is a verb.
01:11:42And I wish, uh, I wish, uh, I just get to it a lot more.
01:11:46Because I feel good when I, when I do.
01:11:49Say, are we going to have sex or not?
01:12:02Let her go.
01:12:03Run, run, run!
01:12:05Yeah!
01:12:05Dixon!
01:12:06Hit him!
01:12:07Hey!
01:12:07Put your gum on!
01:12:09Run!
01:12:10Hey!
01:12:11Hey, you assholes.
01:12:13This is too good to be true.
01:12:16For who?
01:12:17You're going to the joint forever.
01:12:22What are you looking at, weirdo?
01:12:24Ouch.
01:12:30We've got to get out of here.
01:12:33Look, Lou Landers can get us out of here, right?
01:12:36But then you've got to go to UCC.
01:12:40You know Lou Landers?
01:12:42Of course.
01:12:43You think my dad bought me the Jeep?
01:12:45Are you kidding?
01:12:46Lou Landers bought me the Jeep.
01:12:47UCC got it for me.
01:12:48He tried to get you to go to their school.
01:12:54You set me up?
01:12:56No, I didn't set you up.
01:12:57I just pushed you in a direction, trying to do
01:13:00the right thing for you.
01:13:01You set me up.
01:13:02You didn't tell me.
01:13:02Well, if I told you, you would have said no, then, well,
01:13:05then I still wouldn't have been setting you up.
01:13:07I just, you know.
01:13:10I just made her stay.
01:13:12I got, uh, selfish.
01:13:19Me too.
01:13:29Oh, this is terrible.
01:13:30This is awful.
01:13:31This is really awful.
01:13:34This is a serious mess.
01:13:36Does the phrase bail us out immediately mean anything to you?
01:13:40Bail?
01:13:42There's your bail.
01:13:44That's your ticket out of here, right there.
01:13:47All he has to do is sign with Piermont.
01:13:49You're on the street.
01:13:51Otherwise, boys, you're looking at 20 years in the slammer with all the butt pirates.
01:13:56And they say they're waiting for you up there, Johnny, and want to give you a little hiney
01:13:58poke up there.
01:14:01Coach, I know I'm a man, OK?
01:14:03My assholes exit only, and we really didn't do anything wrong.
01:14:06Well, you want sympathy, Leo, you look between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
01:14:12Oh, no, you're going to like it.
01:14:13You're going to love it on the road, gang, out there with the cons cutting that grass.
01:14:18Oh, yeah.
01:14:18Oh, oh.
01:14:20All the pretty girls be going by in the convertibles, you know, on spring break, drinking beer.
01:14:25They'll be waving at you.
01:14:26Hi, Johnny!
01:14:28Johnny!
01:14:30It's up to you, John.
01:14:32Put your foot in the chain gang, or you can put your foot in the cash register.
01:14:38You let me know.
01:14:42Don't drop the soap, boys.
01:14:49Hello, everyone.
01:14:50I'm Gary DeLon.
01:14:51Today, throughout the country, hundreds of boys will be signing their national letters of
01:14:55intent.
01:14:55Now, these letters are commitments by high school seniors to play for the college of their
01:14:59choice.
01:15:00Today, there's no place across the country that has more media coverage and more attention
01:15:04than right here, Ashcroft High School.
01:15:06We're here at Ashcroft High School.
01:15:07It's signing day.
01:15:09Now, Johnny Walker has just arrived to sign his national letter of intent.
01:15:12In just a very few short moments, the entire country will know where Johnny Walker has
01:15:17decided to play his college football.
01:15:19Glad to see you boys could be here for the announcement.
01:15:22Sure hope none of us are disappointed.
01:15:25Some sure don't smell right here.
01:15:31Thank you very much.
01:15:33I'm very happy to have been asked, ladies and gentlemen, to introduce Johnny Walker here
01:15:39today.
01:15:39And I am so happy to announce that John and I are going to be together for another four
01:15:46years.
01:15:47I'm the new head coach at Piermont University.
01:15:52You know, what really makes me proud is that John could have gone anywhere in America,
01:15:56and he chose to be with me.
01:15:58Now, we've also landed four of the top blue chip prospects in this country, and they're
01:16:03all here today.
01:16:04Come on up, fellas.
01:16:06All right.
01:16:14This is not about me.
01:16:15I'm only as good as my players, believe me.
01:16:18Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the men of the hour, Johnny Walker.
01:16:40Throughout this recruitment, I've acted like an idiot.
01:16:45I completely embarrassed my mother, my family, my girlfriend, my friends.
01:16:53Mostly, I just embarrassed myself.
01:16:58Because I thought I had something, and I lost it.
01:17:03If this is what it takes to play college football, then I don't even want to play at
01:17:07all.
01:17:10Just because I know how to, uh, remember to throw a ball doesn't mean, uh, I should forget
01:17:17my life or anyone else's.
01:17:22Therefore, I'm not going to sign any letters to any schools.
01:17:27Now, that's reality.
01:17:30You are swooping your running socks if you are going to Piermont.
01:17:33I'm not.
01:17:34He doesn't go.
01:17:35I don't go.
01:17:36I'm with him.
01:17:36Wait a minute, fellas.
01:17:37Hold on.
01:17:38Piermont University will honor all its commitments.
01:17:41No, I promise you that.
01:17:42Slight misunderstanding, ladies and gentlemen.
01:17:44Bear with us.
01:17:46Who are you?
01:17:46Who are you?
01:17:47My name is Floyd Gondoli.
01:17:49I am the NCAA recruitment investigator.
01:17:52And I have followed the recruitment of Johnny Walker since day one.
01:17:56And I am now calling for a complete investigation of UCC, Old Tex, and specifically Piermont.
01:18:05We didn't do anything wrong.
01:18:07You recall framing a kid for rape not wrong?
01:18:10Give me a break.
01:18:10You framed a kid for rape?
01:18:11You're both history.
01:18:13Of course not.
01:18:13You're both finished.
01:18:14Oh, this is ridiculous.
01:18:15Congratulations, John.
01:18:16I'm proud of you.
01:18:17Ladies and gentlemen, this is the kid.
01:18:19Johnny.
01:18:20Hey, Johnny.
01:18:21I'm proud of you.
01:18:22You did good, kid.
01:18:23So, uh, what you gonna do now, huh?
01:18:26Penn State, Johnny.
01:18:27Penn State.
01:18:27Penn State, Alabama.
01:18:29Remember the weather.
01:18:30Listen, Johnny.
01:18:31Nobody.
01:18:32And I mean nobody makes a schmuck out of me.
01:18:34Capisce?
01:18:34Nobody has to, Lou.
01:18:36All right.
01:18:38Oh, you going down now, Lou.
01:18:40Oh, you done made a big mistake.
01:18:41Mm-mm-mm!
01:18:46Go pickjie!
01:18:51I'm not a fighter.
01:18:53I wish I could help.
01:18:54Not a fighter, I'm a studer.
01:18:57,
01:18:57Go!
01:18:58Go!
01:19:00Go!
01:19:03Go!
01:19:06Go!
01:19:08Go!
01:19:12Go!
01:19:13Go!
01:19:13Thank you, my friend.
01:19:14Good move, man.
01:19:17Let's get out of here.
01:19:22Get back here!
01:19:23Get out of here!
01:19:24Get out of here!
01:19:26Get out of here!
01:19:29Get out of here!
01:19:30Get out of here!
01:19:30Never did like that, fella.
01:19:45Coach!
01:19:46Coach!
01:20:08I want an education.
01:20:13I saw the news conference last night, Johnny.
01:20:16Yeah?
01:20:16Mm-hmm.
01:20:20What'd you think?
01:20:24Show the type of character that we like in our students.
01:20:27I like that.
01:20:30Does this mean, uh, you want me to come play ball here?
01:20:39You bet I do.
01:20:41Ha ha ha!
01:20:57His mother told him, someday you will be a man, and you will be the leader of a big old
01:21:03band.
01:21:03Many people coming from miles around
01:21:06They'll hear you play your music when the sun go down
01:21:09Maybe someday your name will be in light
01:21:12Saying Johnny, keep doing it now
01:21:14Go, go, go, Johnny, go
01:21:17Go, go, go, Johnny, go
01:21:19Go, go, go, Johnny, go
01:21:23Go, go, go, Johnny, go
01:21:26Go
01:21:29Johnny, keep doing it
01:21:53The Johnny Walker recruitment scandal widened today
01:21:58With the announcement that UCC and Old Tex
01:22:02Have each been placed on one-year probation
01:22:05Well, Joe Bob, thank God basketball season's right around the corner
01:22:10Yeah, you man's that, Tex
01:22:12You know, football ain't been good to us this year
01:22:15At all
01:22:21In a still further development
01:22:24Lou Landers has been bought from participating in the UCC football program for life
01:22:32You got one out?
01:22:34We'll take care of it for you
01:22:36Hey, just go down for a minute
01:22:37I just want to talk to you
01:22:38Lou Landers gave me that team
01:22:54This is a crown of mine, crown of mine
01:22:57How are you going, honey?
01:22:59Urges and don't have to complete
01:23:01No Streets and don't have to complete
01:23:02I never heard of it coming...
01:23:02...and get the hole with me!
01:23:06On your way, go girl
01:23:09Go Johnny, go
01:23:12Go Johnny, go
01:23:13Go Johnny, go
01:23:16Go Johnny, go
01:23:18Johnny the girl
01:23:24Go Johnny
01:23:36Go Johnny, go
01:24:14Go Johnny, go
01:24:33This madness all inside that you will be your man
01:24:39That you will be the leader of a big old band
01:24:45Many people coming from miles around
01:24:51They're here for your music till the sun goes down
01:24:57Maybe someday you'll never be in light
01:25:01Playing Johnny the girl to knock down
01:25:03Knock down
01:25:04Go Johnny, go
01:25:09Go, go
01:25:13Go Johnny, go
01:25:15Go, go
01:25:19Go Johnny, go
01:25:22Go, go
01:25:25Go Johnny, go
01:25:27Johnny me go
Comments