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Transcript
00:01Tonight, from across Australia and around the world,
00:05it's time to look back and unpack the week from The Cheap Seats
00:09with special guests, British comedian Emmanuel Sanubi
00:13and friend of the show, Denise Scott.
00:16And now, here are your hosts, Melody Bracewell and Tim McDonnell.
00:21Good evening. Thank you so much.
00:24It's lovely here in The Cheap Seats.
00:26Great to be back. Great to see you, Mel, and everyone in here and at home
00:30as we look back on the big news of the last seven days.
00:33It is great to be back. It was touch and go for a little while there.
00:36They are not getting back together ever.
00:39Yes.
00:40It's just your obsession with astrology.
00:42I don't say that.
00:45We're talking about the big news stories
00:47and the worldwide oil crisis is causing panic at the petrol pumps.
00:51But first tonight, FOMO used to stand for fear of missing out.
00:55These days it could mean fear of missing oil.
01:00Don't know if that's going to catch on.
01:03Yeah. OMG. Oil my God.
01:06It's crazy.
01:07XOXO. Kiss oil, kiss oil.
01:11The global fuel crisis, Mel, is a very serious subject.
01:15And so naturally the ABC sent reporters to speak to the experts.
01:19Now obviously fuel prices at the moment, diesel prices as well.
01:22They're impacting a lot of businesses.
01:25We only have 30 days left of tea.
01:29Yes.
01:30Have you seen the price of Dilma unleaded?
01:33Well across Australia drivers are worried.
01:36One driver so desperate he ran out of fuel in line
01:39and had to push his station wagon to the basis.
01:42Luckily contestants from The Masked Singer were in the car behind us.
01:46The fuel crisis, it is a big talking point across towns, across Australia.
01:50How are you coping with the crisis, Mel?
01:51Well it's tough.
01:52You know, like everyone else I've had to downsize my vehicle.
01:59And, you know, I'm just doing my bit.
02:02Good on you.
02:03Doing my bit to help everyone else.
02:04Good on you.
02:06Look, people might think that's a tiny car.
02:08No, I'm just an enormous woman.
02:10Mel is huge. Mel is enormous.
02:12That is full size.
02:13Thank you to Grant Denyer for lending us that by the way.
02:16Thankfully though, with all this talk of fuel shortages, fuel crisis,
02:20Australians can relax because our two remaining oil refineries
02:24are working absolutely...
02:25Apocalyptic scenes at Australia's worst-timed petrochemical disaster.
02:30Is there a good time for a petrochemical disaster?
02:33It's like that Alanis Morissette song.
02:35It's like a petrochemical disaster on your wedding day.
02:38Yes.
02:39Look, the fuel crisis that's causing concern
02:41and the cancellation of many festivals and activities.
02:44Thankfully though, Mel, there are still some events going ahead.
02:47The International Balloon Festival forging ahead.
02:49That's despite the fuel crisis.
02:52Thank God there's some good news.
02:55I'm the only place celebrating rising inflation.
03:01You're right, there is lots to celebrate.
03:03It's not all bad news.
03:04Not even the high price of fuel could stop music lovers
03:07from making the trek for the five-day celebration.
03:10It looks like it has stopped them, to be honest.
03:13Although, to be fair, it might be the phrase flute and fiddle
03:16that might be putting people off.
03:18Is that the new Netflix and chill?
03:21With Australia's stockpiles running low,
03:23the Prime Minister went overseas to try and secure more fuel.
03:26Yes, exactly.
03:27He started in Singapore, then Brunei.
03:29So what did the Prime Minister manage to achieve?
03:31The Prime Minister has secured an extra 100 million litres...
03:35100 million litres.
03:36100 million litres of diesel.
04:03Australia, we are sorted for how long?
04:06About a day's worth.
04:08OK.
04:09Maybe we celebrated a bit too early.
04:11OK.
04:12Well done to the Prime Minister.
04:14Anthony Albanese, he is on a mission to do...
04:17More energy deals with Asian neighbours.
04:19Asian neighbours.
04:20Asian neighbours.
04:21Asian neighbours.
04:22Asian neighbours.
04:23Asian neighbours.
04:24Asian neighbours.
04:25Asian neighbours.
04:26Asian neighbours.
04:27It does remind us of a very short-lived drama here at 10.
04:31That's when you...
04:43I had to know why that got cancelled.
04:47I'll be honest, I always preferred home in a Waysian.
04:49Yeah.
04:52Let's move on.
04:53And with supplies low, everyone's being encouraged to save fuel.
04:57Thankfully, there are some handy tips out there.
04:59With fuel prices at unprecedented highs,
05:01one sure-fire way to reduce the petrol pain is to not drive.
05:06Oh, God.
05:06You forget the obvious one.
05:08Struggling with the cost of living?
05:10Just die.
05:12Well, in response to the crisis,
05:16the government, in their infinite wisdom, have launched this.
05:19The global fuel shortage is affecting everyone,
05:22and we all have a part to play.
05:23For fuel-saving tips, visit fuelplan.gov.au.
05:27So this is the new national fuel-saving campaign,
05:29slightly different to this real fuel-saving campaign
05:34from Australia in 1979.
05:37If we use a little less, we'll look after ourselves.
05:41There's at least a dozen ways to save our petrol.
05:49Can we see that again?
05:51No.
05:52It worked, though.
05:54It worked, though.
05:54Fuel use went down and musical orgies went up.
05:57Right.
05:58So let's go back to the 2026 fuel-saving commercial.
06:02So the government spent $20 million on an ad campaign
06:05and the national fuel security plan.
06:07So this is the new level of fuel security.
06:09We're currently at level two, keeping Australia moving.
06:12Level three is taking targeted action.
06:16And, of course, level four is...
06:17Cancel the hot air balloon festival.
06:19Those are the levels.
06:20Oh, it's too far!
06:21We can't do it!
06:22Hopefully we never get there.
06:23So the advice in the fuel plan is to take simple measures,
06:27things like checking your tyre pressures,
06:29driving smoothly, or carpooling with family and friends.
06:34That's beautiful.
06:35Well, another tip.
06:37If you can, work from home.
06:38Urging Australians to drive slow
06:40and work from home to save fuel.
06:45Especially if your home is Noah's Ark.
06:49One of the other fuel-saving tips is carpooling.
06:52And it's great to see Aussies are already carpooling.
06:55See, the moment a woman cleans to the bottom of a moving car...
07:00There's at least a dozen ways to save your petrol.
07:03Oh, that's great.
07:04Let's hear more.
07:05Go on, f***.
07:07Go on.
07:08Go on, you stupid dog.
07:13It's amazing to be taking the moral high ground
07:15while you're gripping onto the voice.
07:18Go on, run me over.
07:20Yeah, you stupid dog.
07:21You're so stupid.
07:22Driving your car normally.
07:24Insane.
07:25It seems there's only one solution
07:27the government aren't on board with.
07:29The federal government warning against
07:30the TikTok trend of brewing fuel in the backyard.
07:35Really?
07:35OK.
07:36Well, I guess that's...
07:38God forbid a woman has hobbies.
07:41I've actually...
07:42It's actually gone over your script.
07:44Yeah.
07:47Don't worry.
07:48You can clean it up.
07:49Yay!
07:54All good.
07:55I'll get this back to mum and we'll press on.
07:58Still, with everything that's going on,
08:00conflict overseas, fuel price pain,
08:02it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
08:04Australia faces its most complex
08:07and threatening strategic circumstances
08:09since the end of World War II.
08:12Thankfully, there's not a shortage on lip gloss.
08:16That's a relief.
08:18OK, well, let's see how the US is handling the situation.
08:21We have a great military.
08:23We have the greatest military
08:24and the most powerful military any place.
08:26Nice to see J.D. Vance getting into the spirit, isn't it?
08:29That is beautiful.
08:30So this was, of course, the conflict in Iran.
08:33That was Donald Trump there.
08:34And this is the on again, off again.
08:36The straight is either blocked or it's not blocked.
08:38There's 48 hours left of the ceasefire.
08:40Yeah, but peace talks between Iran and the US
08:42are apparently progressing.
08:44Preparations are underway in full swing in Islamabad.
08:48Islamabad.
08:49OK, so preparations are in full swing.
08:52What are we talking?
08:52Security sweeps.
08:54Counterterrorism.
08:54Cyber security.
08:55Some of the roads are being re-carpeted.
08:59Flowers are being put in different places.
09:05It's part peace talks, part room reveal.
09:09The roads are being re-carpeted.
09:11It's one of the only places you have to take your shoes off
09:13before you cross the road.
09:15Same.
09:16So we've heard a lot from the US and the President,
09:19all his truth socials in the last few weeks.
09:21What about Iran?
09:22Chantel, how has Iran responded?
09:26Well, Iran has...
09:27We'll leave that there.
09:28We are now to Canberra.
09:29We're the opposition leader.
09:31How has Chantel responded?
09:32Shut down, you chatty Cathy.
09:33Wrap it up.
09:34Oh, no.
09:35Look, it's been a biggie...
09:36Biggie.
09:37It's been a biggie week.
09:38It's been...
09:39All right, wrap it up.
09:40Wrap it up.
09:42So, lots happening in the US.
09:44Busy time for the President.
09:46Not just the war.
09:47The President later shared this AI image of himself as Jesus Christ.
09:53Yes, healing the golden bachelor there.
09:55Yes.
09:56There is a very simple explanation for this.
09:58It's supposed to be me as a doctor making people better.
10:02Obviously.
10:02He's obviously dressed as a doctor.
10:05He reminds me of my favourite medical drama, Grey's Anatomy.
10:08There they are there.
10:09Obvious.
10:10It's not just Trump.
10:12There is a lot happening among his inner circle.
10:14This week, his health secretary, Robert Kennedy Jr., made headlines.
10:18RFK Jr. once chopped off a dead raccoon's penis to study later while on a family road trip.
10:26We've all been there.
10:27And who hasn't done that on a family road trip?
10:30It's not really a family road trip until Dad gets out of the car and hacks off the disfigured member
10:36of a deceased raccoon.
10:37The article begins with the phrase, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., an avid animal genitalia researcher in his spare time.
10:45Some try pickleball.
10:48Others...
10:48Try pick off some balls.
10:51So, moving on.
10:53Let's just move on from that.
10:54What did you put the penis in when you...
10:56In the cup holder?
10:57We might move on.
10:58Let's press on.
11:00Let's go to the White House.
11:02Humanoid robot has stepped in for Donald Trump this morning, making a striking entrance at the White House.
11:07That's the humanoid robot on the right.
11:09Yes.
11:11It's incredible.
11:12A little bit unrealistic for my taste.
11:15And then...
11:15Sadly, one of them ran out of batteries.
11:20Sadly, it couldn't hang around.
11:23There it is, just walking out.
11:25Just leaving.
11:26Just leaving.
11:27And honestly...
11:28When you've got a summit at 10 and Pilates at 11.
11:32And I hate to objectify a robot, but...
11:35Pretty nice ass.
11:37I hate to watch them go, but I love to watch them leave.
11:40Welcome to the White House.
11:42The backside of that robot, it's incredible.
11:44It does remind us a little bit of...
11:46If we use an...
11:47Yeah.
11:49We're going to take a break.
11:50Back with Joelle at T6.
11:52I like to go.
11:53If we use a little less, we'll look after our sound.
11:57There's a piece of fun ways to save our headstrong.
12:03Welcome back to the 50s.
12:05Great to have you with us.
12:07And you can head to our socials below to keep up with the show
12:09and to join our live studio audience.
12:11It is so great to be back.
12:13And great to see you, Mel.
12:14Haven't seen you for a while.
12:15You've been busy, obviously, touring across the country
12:17as a Dolly Parton impersonator.
12:22How has that been going?
12:23Sorry.
12:24I just have...
12:24My biceps are too large that they sort of...
12:26I broke myself through the jacket.
12:29Had to make some last-minute repairs.
12:31But I have been busy.
12:32You have actually genuinely been touring, haven't you?
12:34I've been doing the Melbourne Comedy Festival
12:35and I'm touring my show Dilly Dallying all around Australia.
12:39Check it out.
12:41Check it out.
12:42You came to one of the shows, Wilmerton.
12:44I did come to one of the shows.
12:46I genuinely enjoyed it.
12:46It's one of your best yet.
12:48This is you up on stage.
12:49Thank you very much for the tickets.
12:51Yeah, those are supposed to be full-length suit pants, but...
12:55Yeah, again.
12:55Thank you for the tickets you provided me.
12:57I think we got a shot of where I was sitting.
12:58Thank you, Mel.
13:01Exactly.
13:01It sort of meant that you could be in the crowd
13:03but still, you know, respect the restraining order.
13:06So that's good.
13:06That's what I like to do.
13:07That's good.
13:08You were busy too, Tim.
13:09You were posting the Channel 10's Formula One coverage
13:11and an ultimate professional.
13:13In the warm-up lap.
13:15Oh, no.
13:17No, no, no.
13:18Are you serious?
13:20Oh, my gosh.
13:21Are you serious?
13:22Let's hear your insight.
13:24To viewers just joining us,
13:25this cake has nothing to do with Oscar Piastri.
13:27No, absolutely.
13:29It's good to clarify.
13:30It's good to clarify.
13:32It's good to clarify.
13:34I thought it was MasterChef.
13:36I got confused.
13:37Look, it was a terrible day for Oscar Piastri.
13:40On the good news, though,
13:41he has been added to the National Fuel Saving Campaign.
13:44That's beautiful.
13:44That is good news.
13:45That is brilliant.
13:46Well, let's go back to the news now
13:49and so much big Australian news to catch up on.
13:55Only at Sydney's Royal Easter Show
13:57will you see a cow dressed as a taco.
14:01You don't know my life.
14:04It's a little on the raw side, I would have thought,
14:06but this was one of the events we missed over the break,
14:10the Sydney Royal Easter Show.
14:12So many great attractions.
14:14Wood chopping is where strength meets precision.
14:17Now, I'm a little nervous at how close that axe
14:19is swinging next to the Channel 10 shows.
14:24Putting Channel 10 and the axe together
14:27is a little bit scary for us.
14:29Thankfully, though, we're safe.
14:31Because we have a brand-new sponsor here at the Cheap Seats,
14:34AHM Insurance.
14:38AHM Insurance, insurance for people, things.
14:41It is so great to have them with us.
14:43Incredible.
14:44Speaking of people, things.
14:46Yes, speaking of people, things.
14:48Speaking of people.
14:49Speaking of words.
14:51Let's go back to the biggest story we missed over the break.
14:55Three, two, one, lift off.
14:59The crew of Artemis II now bound for the moon.
15:03Humanity's next great voyage begins.
15:05This was incredible.
15:06The largest, most ambitious space mission
15:09since we landed on the moon, allegedly, in 1967.
15:14Incredible scenes.
15:16Yes.
15:16Just the context.
15:17This is how that moon mission was covered back in 1969.
15:21Billions around the world were glued to their screens
15:24watching these incredible pictures of a moment in time.
15:28Fast forward to 2026, and how did we cover the Artemis mission?
15:32We'll have more special coverage of the Artemis II mission shortly.
15:35But first, rise of the man-bags.
15:42Priorities.
15:43It's one small step for man, one giant leap for man-bags.
15:48You sort of worked that out, hadn't you?
15:53Houston, we have a problem.
15:56The Artemis mission was incredible.
15:58The astronauts set a new record for the furthest distance humans
16:02have travelled from Earth, over 400,000 kilometres.
16:06Or, as the New York Times helpfully put it,
16:09if you took dashounds and laid them nose to tail,
16:12you'd need almost 728 million dogs to cover the distance.
16:16Aww.
16:17I've only got 100 million.
16:19I know.
16:21The New York Times then added, it would be tough.
16:25Yeah.
16:26They're not kidding.
16:27What we just need to do...
16:28We're just so close to the moon.
16:34Your dedication to scientific research.
16:36This much.
16:37We were this close.
16:38We'll get there.
16:40Let's move on to royal news now.
16:42And here's the story we missed.
16:44Denmark's Queen Mary and King Frederick
16:47on a busy day across Melbourne.
16:48Exploring the city's art and culinary scene.
16:51The Danish royals in town.
16:53Yeah, the art and culinary scene,
16:54and they got to taste the finest local cuisine.
16:56But he said that he also swallowed a fly.
16:59So there you go.
17:00Welcome.
17:01Beautiful.
17:02These are the Danish royals who toured Australia surprising locals.
17:05They gave one unknowing skateboarder a shock.
17:08Do you know who that is?
17:09Like the Queen or something?
17:10Queen Mary.
17:11Queen Mary.
17:11And King Frederick.
17:12Like Jesus' mum.
17:16Exactly.
17:18Exactly.
17:20Like Donald Trump's mum.
17:22Exactly.
17:23Dr Jesus' mum.
17:26It was great to have the Danish royals in town
17:28and their love story between Queen Mary and King Frederick is beautiful.
17:32The King reflecting on meeting Tasmanian-born Mary
17:35during the Sydney 2000 Olympics.
17:38I just want to pause here on that image.
17:40I reckon he looks a little bit like me.
17:44LAUGHTER
17:46APPLAUSE
17:54Moving on, and...
17:56Sorry, I forget you've got a country music festival to go to.
17:58Sorry, I'm getting puppeteered.
18:01Moving on, and speaking of royals, this was exciting.
18:04Crowds go wild for Harry and Meghan.
18:06Yes, Harry and Meghan there visiting the Royal Children's Hospital.
18:10As if those children haven't suffered enough.
18:12But, um...
18:14It was great to have them in town.
18:16They arrived via a passenger plane.
18:19It's so exciting.
18:20It's so exciting.
18:20Everyone was, um, very excited to see them on board.
18:23I don't like her at all.
18:26LAUGHTER
18:26Not everyone.
18:27Fair enough.
18:28The Sussexses had a very busy itinerary.
18:32Harry's day isn't done yet.
18:33He's just got off stage behind these doors
18:36at an Invictus Games event in the room.
18:38A former servicemen and women that he was speaking to,
18:40as well as a couple of other notables and politicians.
18:43We'll give you a quick little look inside.
18:46Now, the Invictus Games was started by Prince Harry.
18:51That's...that's not fair.
18:51That could have been any room.
18:53You couldn't even see him in that shot.
18:56That would be like if I did this.
18:57So, behind this door is Beyoncé, LeBron James and the Pope.
19:01We'll give you a little look inside.
19:04Incredible, isn't it?
19:05LAUGHTER
19:06Anyone can do that.
19:08Anyone can do that.
19:11That guy looks like a young King Frederick.
19:13Have you ever noticed that?
19:15LAUGHTER
19:16Wow!
19:17We do have some exclusive footage of the royals.
19:22All right, so we're still waiting for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
19:26Paul Dowsley, our wonderful 7 News reporter,
19:28has snapped a picture.
19:29I'll just grab Billie around here.
19:31If you want to know what the wonderful Duchess is wearing,
19:33there she is.
19:34If we can just airdrop that to all of your viewers.
19:39A lot of coverage of the Royal Visit,
19:41but one person did it better than anyone else.
19:44Which brings us to our...
19:48...reporter of the week.
19:50And this week, the honour goes to Channel 7's Paul Dowsley.
19:54Friend of the show.
19:55And Paul got closer to the action than anyone else.
19:57They are.
19:58And you can see him just over my shoulder.
20:00Harry and Meghan are here.
20:02I don't know why he's reporting on them like it's a nature documentary.
20:06Hiding behind a rock.
20:10No, but everywhere the royals went, Paul Dowsley was there.
20:13And we're waiting for the vehicle to pull in.
20:16I can assure you that it's not this one.
20:19I don't think they're in there, Rebecca.
20:21I might have a quick look.
20:22That's the catering, is it?
20:24No, no, they're not in there.
20:25I wouldn't.
20:26If you're looking for a white van with a royal in it,
20:29I don't think it's going to be Harry and Meghan.
20:35Sorry, can we look at...
20:36She travels with Meghan with a van.
20:38Oh, wow.
20:40Can we have a look at that van again?
20:42I don't have the royals inside, but what they do have...
20:44Is a giant paella.
20:47Which is actually my nickname in high school.
20:50So, everywhere the royals went, Paul was there.
20:53Prince Harry and Meghan have just arrived.
20:54Paul Dowsley is there.
20:56Paul?
20:58We're on.
20:59It's a bit of commotion.
21:00Damo, we're on.
21:01Hello, mate.
21:01How are you?
21:02Sorry, we've just missed them.
21:04Bit of commotion.
21:05They're actually going in.
21:06You can see them at the back here.
21:07No, mate.
21:08No, we can't.
21:09Get stopped by the bouncer.
21:11In that room was Beyonce and LeBron James.
21:14Can we check back in with Paul Dowsley?
21:16And then, when I tried to get a cheeky selfie
21:18with the Duke and Duchess in the background,
21:21Harry actually approached me,
21:22and we had a great, friendly exchange.
21:24Now, for some reason,
21:26some media outlets wrongly and bizarrely
21:29reported that Harry had a problem with me.
21:31That's totally false.
21:32It sparked chaos.
21:33He annoyed the royals.
21:35Ambushed.
21:35And Paul did get to speak to Harry.
21:38Yes.
21:38What an amazing opportunity
21:40to talk to a royal.
21:41A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
21:43And for a reporter.
21:44You know, so many questions you could ask.
21:46Exactly.
21:46So many things to speak about.
21:47I cannot wait to hear what happened.
21:49Let's find out.
21:49He complimented me on my tie.
21:51Thank you so much, Paul.
21:52Good chat.
21:53Good chat.
21:54Thank you so much.
21:54No, they had a lovely chat.
21:56My goodness.
21:57It's you.
21:57Look at you.
21:58Paul, is your name's Paul, right?
21:59Yes, Paul.
22:00Are you still smiling?
22:01Are we friends?
22:01Yes, we are.
22:03Well, you're a friend of the show, Paul.
22:04Well done.
22:05Congratulations, Paul Dowsley.
22:06You are our...
22:11Oh, we're going to take a break.
22:13Mel Tresina's back with us right after this.
22:27Welcome back.
22:28It's time to catch up with what's happening in the world of showbiz.
22:31So, for the first time this year, it's a big welcome back to Mel Tresina.
22:39So good to see you guys.
22:41So good to see you, Empty.
22:42We're on season six.
22:44I know.
22:44We outlived Made in Bondi.
22:49I mean, they only did one season, but still.
22:52Lovely to see you, Empty.
22:54Yep.
22:55Of course, we went to Mel's show together.
22:56We did.
22:56We did.
22:57We went together.
22:58Thanks for giving Tim the free ticket, Mel.
23:02Do you want to repeat what you said about Mel's show backstage?
23:06I think, no, I think we can move on.
23:08I reckon we could talk about what's happening in the world.
23:10Lost me in the second act, was the phrase of that.
23:14I'll just make it clear, my show doesn't have acts, so you must have just waited until
23:18the next show's done.
23:22Can I tell an out-of-school story?
23:23I know you've got things to get to.
23:25Do I?
23:25No, I don't.
23:26I really don't.
23:27We caught up for dinner during the week, and I've been thinking about this ever since.
23:30Oh, that's awesome.
23:34That's so cool.
23:35I want to hear about it.
23:36No, you've got food.
23:37There's someone dressed as a takeaway noodle box.
23:39I'm sure you can find some food somewhere.
23:42I'm eating a taco cow.
23:44No, we went out for dinner, and we were looking at the menu, and salmon was on the menu, and
23:49I said, oh, I like a bit of salmon, and Mel said, I don't eat that much salmon.
23:53And I said, oh, what fish do you eat?
23:55And Mel goes, I eat quite a lot of swordfish.
24:01You eat quite a lot of swordfish?
24:04Have you ever had swordfish?
24:05I've never had a swordfish in my life.
24:06And yet it's the most regular fish for Mel to eat.
24:10I've never had a food that's part weapon.
24:14I've thought about these everyday things.
24:16How often are you having swordfish?
24:18I have it like once a week.
24:20Once a week?
24:22I think it's not hectic.
24:24It's the most exotic fish in the world.
24:27If I have an entree of swordfish, and I follow it up with a sashimi of stingray, what is going
24:33and then I'll finish off with the blue whale mousse for dessert?
24:37Well, just because I live in Melbourne, I'm not allowed a machete anymore, so I keep the
24:40sword.
24:46Sorry to bring that up.
24:47I've been thinking about it non-stop.
24:49That's wild.
24:49I'd have to add another detail.
24:51Mel, you had salmon for lunch today.
24:57You're also dressed as a salmon.
24:59So there's a lot going on.
25:01There's a lot going on.
25:02And you as the fishnet.
25:09What's happening this week?
25:10It's great to have you back for season 2026.
25:12Where do we start?
25:13Let's start with the biggest music festival in the world.
25:17Of course, it's not flute and fiddle.
25:19It's Coachella.
25:22So Sabrina Carpenter, she surprised audiences by bringing out pop icon Madonna.
25:28Like, what a moment.
25:29Everyone had an opinion.
25:42I feel like Sabrina gets the lyrics wrong there.
25:45Oh, yes.
25:47To be fair, if I was getting paid $5 million, I'd do a quick Google on lyrics.
25:51Hang on.
25:52As someone who enjoys swordfish regularly, you are being paid $5 million.
25:57Some were praising Madonna.
25:59At Coachella, joining Sabrina Carpenter.
26:02I thought she was fantastic.
26:05He's just walked into a swordfish.
26:14No, that's Peter Ford.
26:15He is okay.
26:16Yeah, yeah.
26:17He's the entertainment reporter.
26:18And I love it.
26:19Like, he came dressed by inspiration from Madonna.
26:22Yeah.
26:23Yeah.
26:23That is brilliant.
26:24Yeah, I'm glad he went for the eye patch and not the cone bra.
26:27Good call.
26:27Good call.
26:29A new season of The Floor started on Sunday night on 9.
26:33The show is hosted by Roger Corsa and the rules are simple.
26:36Contestants battle each other to claim territory by naming things in their specific categories.
26:41There's also the freeze, the whale, the randomiser.
26:43Are you guys writing this down?
26:44Sorry.
26:46And also, Stephen Bradbury's there.
26:48I'm surprised that she has chosen to challenge me in the category of winter sports.
26:53She got a workout out here.
26:56Wow.
26:57Can we see how Stephen went on the floor?
26:59How did it go?
27:00Yeah.
27:00Oh, nailed it.
27:02Just speed skated right through it.
27:04Commercial victory, but it counts.
27:07Contestant Raph served as an important reminder.
27:10Don't play on an empty stomach.
27:12Chisouflet.
27:15Kiev.
27:16Oh, no.
27:17I'm hungry now.
27:18Ah, pass.
27:23Oh, that looks yummy.
27:24You pass.
27:26It's not a menu.
27:27It's a game.
27:29I'd love to see you do that on different types of fests.
27:33I'm spent after swordfish.
27:35Oh, my God.
27:36Hell of a con.
27:39Okay, sorry.
27:39All right, let's talk about MasterChef.
27:42MasterChef Australia has returned to our screens on Sunday night on 10, and the season doesn't
27:48really begin until Judge Jean Christophe expresses himself.
27:52The leg sauce, nice and soft.
27:54Your sauce is exquisite.
27:55You are fabulous.
28:00I don't think you should be going back home yet.
28:04Whoa!
28:06Whoa!
28:07The mode swipe.
28:08He's not slamming the table, he's tenderizing it.
28:13But I think he did steer into high school bullying territory.
28:17Jess.
28:18Hello.
28:20Hello.
28:26Four eyes.
28:28Did you just see what he did when he saw Peter Ford?
28:31Ooh.
28:33Come on.
28:36And exciting news for MasterChef.
28:38Megan Markle is set to make a guest appearance.
28:41Wow.
28:42Yes.
28:42Oh, my God.
28:43You're right not to applaud.
28:46No, this is exciting.
28:47It is, it is.
28:47I'm not sure when the episode will air, but we do have this snippet.
28:51Please welcome to MasterChef Australia, the Duchess of Sussex, Megan Markle!
29:03Some people would argue Channel 10 is milking this appearance.
29:06Well, it's a big get for 10, isn't it?
29:08Yeah.
29:08It is a huge get.
29:09Here she is walking in.
29:10I don't know if they needed her walk to be so long.
29:14There she is there.
29:16She should be arriving any moment.
29:18Oh, no, she's still walking.
29:20No.
29:21Okay, we may have made some edits to this footage.
29:26I think she saw Judge.
29:27Oh, she's definitely doing it.
29:29Okay.
29:30In a Cheap Seats exclusive, I can confirm that MasterChef isn't the only show that Megan is going to be
29:36making an appearance on.
29:37Really?
29:37She's also going to be joining Scott Cam on the Block, the home wrecker edition.
29:44Oh, wow.
29:44Yeah.
29:45She's an avid lover of animals, so she'll also be a natural fit for this, the dog house, or as
29:51Harry calls it, their Montecito home.
29:55And this just in, she's also set to replace...
29:58Oh, wow.
29:59Yeah.
30:00There you go.
30:01There you go.
30:02Of course, not the first royal to dabble in reality TV.
30:06Of course, you remember when King Charles went on Wife Swap.
30:09It was great.
30:13And, of course, excitingly, we can also announce that Prince Andrew will be joining Junior MasterChef.
30:23How much is Swordfish a kilo?
30:25Yeah, I'm 20 for it.
30:26And that's my week in arts and entertainment.
30:28Would you please thank Mel Chisina!
30:43Welcome back to the Chief Feats.
30:44It's time to welcome a very special guest.
30:47Denise Scott.
30:49Denise Scott!
30:50Denise Scott!
30:51Thank you for joining me, Scotty.
30:52I had no other offers, but it's sexual, isn't it?
30:56Yeah, yeah.
30:56Denise Scott, I thought she was dead.
30:59We are so excited to welcome Aussie comedy legend Denise Scott!
31:03Thank you!
31:06Thanks for having me!
31:08Thank you, Victoria!
31:09Oh, all right, then.
31:11How great to be alive.
31:13I'm alive, I'm alive.
31:16That's all we really wanted to check.
31:18Would you please thank Denise?
31:19And that's all I've got to give, so...
31:22Thank you and goodnight.
31:23You have got lots to give.
31:25You have recently wrapped up...
31:27Oh, it sounds like a pop song.
31:29Anyway, go on, sorry.
31:30We'll see it a bit later,
31:31because you've just finished touring
31:34at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
31:36Yes.
31:36What was it like being back on stage with your show,
31:38Tickety Boo?
31:41It was great, and watching your show tonight
31:46and all the petrol stuff, because it's in Melbourne,
31:49of course, I got the tram.
31:51I live in Melbourne, and, I mean, I don't drive anyway.
31:55But...
31:56LAUGHTER
31:56So I always...
31:57Who knew, decades ago, I'd be so ahead of the game...
32:00Yes!
32:01..in not driving?
32:02So I always get the tram.
32:03But because the government, free transport,
32:07they were packed!
32:09They were packed!
32:10And the number of times I'd be on the tram,
32:14like, sardine packed, and this person next to me would go,
32:17aren't you Denise Scott?
32:19Yeah.
32:19And I'd go, yeah.
32:20And they'd go, but I'm just coming to see your show.
32:23Yeah!
32:23And we were sardine packed then.
32:26Oh, my God!
32:26And you don't know, should I make a joke?
32:29Should I look interesting?
32:32And another person who I...
32:35Can I just quickly just...
32:35No, you can't.
32:37No, you can't.
32:38I don't know how long I've got left to live.
32:42LAUGHTER
32:47It's only because we've got Mel Tresina in the corner there
32:49and you've mentioned sardines twice.
32:51She's a little confused.
32:52They're a cheaper fish.
32:54They're a cheaper fish.
32:56Have you ever had swordfish?
32:57I have!
32:59Really?
32:59I couldn't believe the...
33:01The carry-on, yes!
33:04They sell it in my suburban Thornberry fish shop.
33:08Like, where are you two...
33:10Where have you been?
33:11LAUGHTER
33:13Tim's still on tiny teddies, mostly, for his lunch, so...
33:17I'm so sorry, Denise, I did interrupt a story that I...
33:20You really did, and I've got no idea what I was saying.
33:25I love the free public transport,
33:27cos I'd get on and think, I'm being naughty.
33:29I wonder if there's a ticket inspector that's going to catch me.
33:32It was thrilling.
33:33It was thrilling.
33:34Well, however you got here, it's great to have you here.
33:38You have been very busy and a huge honour for you.
33:40Recently, you were invited to host the gala at the Comedy Festival.
33:48Amazing!
33:49It was so thrilling, cos, you know, like, Comedy Festival's been going 40 years, right?
33:5540 years.
33:55And, of course, I've been around for most of that time.
33:58You know, 70 and 40 years of the...
34:02Yes.
34:0340 years.
34:04Yes.
34:05And it was the first time they ever asked me to host the gala.
34:09Good on them.
34:11And the point being, hold on to your dreams, kids.
34:15You too might achieve something by 70.
34:18Yes.
34:20We can only hope...
34:22You've lived a wonderful life, Denise.
34:25That's the second line.
34:29You're not giving me eulogy.
34:33No, but if we were to start, Denise, you have been reflecting on your life and your childhood recently.
34:41We saw this image pop up online.
34:43Oh, yes.
34:44Now, who...
34:45Isn't that desperate?
34:46You know, like, you know how you don't know what to put on Instagram?
34:50I don't.
34:51So I thought, well, I'll go back to 1959.
34:54And which one are you there?
34:56I'm down on the corner with the fringe.
34:58I think we can see.
34:59Well, yeah.
35:01Looking happy as...
35:03You know, so excited.
35:04And this is true, I was part, that's what you're seeing there, a group of up-and-coming models.
35:12We were at the Ron Blaskett and Jerry G School of Modelling.
35:18Wow!
35:19Yeah.
35:19I was four, my sister next to me was six, she'd gone on a kid's show, the Happy Hammond show.
35:26Yes.
35:26She won a modelling course at six.
35:30Well, Mum couldn't just take her into the city.
35:33So I went, a four-year-old, Ron Blaskett and...
35:37The Ron Blaskett?
35:38The Ron Blaskett.
35:40Oh, baby!
35:40The ventriloquist.
35:43Ventriloquist.
35:44Of course he was a ventriloquist, it goes without saying.
35:47Yeah, Jerry G is his doll and they worked blue at night in football sports clubs.
35:56We'll put out a fact sheet.
35:58And kids, no, but then they'd run a young girls modelling school in the day.
36:03We were so relaxed back in the 50s, we didn't care.
36:07In spite of that, you have gone on to have an incredible career, spanning multiple decades
36:12and you're now...
36:13Stop!
36:14You're back at the eulogy.
36:17I'm going to book you for my funeral.
36:20You're great.
36:21And you passed away doing something that you love.
36:25No, because you've been around for a long time, you're now having to grapple with new...
36:30You're now having to deal with new technology.
36:32What's that, you see?
36:34You're now having to deal with new technology.
36:36Yes.
36:37Yes, I am.
36:38How are you finding social media, the internet, the digital sphere?
36:42I can't be bothered with it.
36:44And that's why no one came to my show.
36:48No, no, they did.
36:51I try, but I'm not very inspired.
36:55Well, you have been online recently promoting your show and we love these videos you're putting out.
37:01Oh, hi.
37:02Sorry.
37:03I'll just turn the car radio down.
37:07Uh, yeah, I've been told to do more social media.
37:10Okay.
37:11Yes.
37:11Sorry.
37:12I know.
37:13I reckon I sold two tickets for that.
37:18But behind the wheel of a car.
37:22Please, go with me.
37:24This went viral.
37:26No, because that's the thing.
37:28Women often are behind in their driver's seat, reflecting on life and giving their TED Talks from the driver's seat.
37:38Okay.
37:39I don't drive.
37:41So I just pretend it.
37:43And, um, oh, yeah, it went viral.
37:46It was incredible.
37:47Interesting.
37:48We do have another angle of that video.
37:52No one has skits.
37:53No one has skits.
37:55You're a natural behind the wheel, Denise.
37:57You're a natural.
37:59Denise is on tour with Tickety Boo and heading to Brisbane and Wagga Wagga.
38:02Tickets available at comedy.com.au.
38:05Would you please thank Denise Scott?
38:20Welcome back to the Team Seats.
38:21And it's time for our next guest.
38:23Emmanuel Sonobi.
38:25Emmanuel Sonobi.
38:26Hi.
38:26I'm Emmanuel Sonobi.
38:28I'm looking forward to hanging out with Emmanuel all week.
38:30Emmanuel, you are cool.
38:31I may have kidnapped a friend of mine.
38:33Oh.
38:33Enjoy the show.
38:34Yay.
38:34There we go.
38:35We are so excited to welcome UK comedian, Emmanuel Sonobi.
38:44So welcome.
38:49Welcome, Emmanuel.
38:50How are you doing?
38:50Thank you so much for joining us.
38:51I just like how you started that with, I might have just kidnapped a friend of mine.
38:56We don't like context on this show.
38:57We just want to, we just want to let out that sort of stuff.
39:01We just want, we just want to, we just want to, we just want to be sort of, you know,
39:04we really want to defame people, essentially.
39:06That's what we do at Channel 2.
39:07Mel has killed and will kill again.
39:09So, on that note.
39:11That's a comedy festival.
39:12That's right.
39:13As you have, because it's great to have you with us.
39:15You are just back, like Denise, from performing at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival,
39:20where you were nominated for Most Outstanding Show.
39:28Congratulations.
39:29Oh, thank you.
39:30Did you win?
39:31No.
39:32Okay.
39:33All right, would you please thank Emmanuel Sonobi?
39:37How was the festival?
39:38You've done it before and you're back for another year.
39:41I did it last year, but I did it as part of the New Order, so I was part of
39:44a compilation.
39:45Yeah.
39:46Whereas this year, I brought my show over.
39:48Yeah.
39:49And it was awesome.
39:51We pretty much sold the run out.
39:53Yeah.
39:53It was, the audience were incredible.
39:55They were really, really nice.
39:56And the show is incredible.
39:57Life After Near Death.
39:58Yeah.
39:58For those who haven't seen it, can you tell us about it?
40:01That happens every time it happens.
40:05You go, Life After Near Death, and people just say, Life After Death.
40:11Oh, that seems fun.
40:13It is a fun show.
40:15Basically, a few years ago, I went through heart failure.
40:18I got diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, which is hilarious.
40:22Guys, if you've never had heart failure, it's the best failure.
40:29And it is really just how life changed after getting through that, and just having a different
40:35perspective, really.
40:36And so it's been a really fun, really fun thing to explore.
40:39You performed last night at a small little venue we have here called the Sydney Opera House.
40:44Yeah.
40:46And you're here with us today.
40:47We heard that you originally had other plans for today.
40:51Yeah.
40:54What were you doing?
40:56So, as everyone goes, oh, you got to perform at the Sydney Opera House, which is awesome,
41:01but that wasn't my motivation for doing it.
41:05My sister lives in Sydney, and nothing gives me more pleasure than making plans with her
41:12purposely so I can break them.
41:17So, you had planned to see her.
41:18Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:19And then a gig comes up at the Sydney Opera House.
41:22Yes.
41:23You go, sorry, I'm in town, but unavailable.
41:26Oh, I do it constantly.
41:28It is the best thing.
41:30Like, I'll say, because I knew I was doing the show.
41:33Yeah.
41:33So, then I'll say, oh, I'm going to be with you for the week.
41:36So, let's go get some dinner.
41:38Let's go and do something.
41:40Let's have some brother-sister time.
41:42And she goes, yeah, let's do it.
41:44And then I'll, I'm so sorry, I forgot, I'm going to be performing at the Sydney Opera
41:48House.
41:49I can't make it.
41:50I feel really bad.
41:51I'm so sorry.
41:54Because I've already made the reservation, so you have to go alone.
41:57Yes.
41:58It's not even just her.
41:59I do this to a lot of people.
42:01It's one of my favourites.
42:02I do it to ex-colleagues of mine that I used to work with.
42:05Now, you say other colleagues.
42:06Well, what's it like being invited to plans?
42:10Mel's a little bit upset because me and our fellow co-host Mel Chasina went out for a
42:14private dinner.
42:15Yeah.
42:15And we didn't invite Mel.
42:17And had swordfish.
42:19Have you ever had swordfish?
42:20I haven't, but I have been invited to stuff.
42:26That's right.
42:28That is right.
42:29Interesting.
42:29You mentioned your ex-colleagues.
42:31Now, you haven't always been a stand-up comedian, have you?
42:34No, I used to be a child.
42:35There we go.
42:38And in between child and comedian, you had a very different job?
42:41The job that I did for the longest of, in and out of all of my jobs, is I used
42:45to be
42:45a bouncer.
42:46Right.
42:47What?
42:48No way!
42:49Yes.
42:50Yeah.
42:50Hold on.
42:51This is something we have in common.
42:52Oh, right.
42:55I'm not sure why that would be funny.
42:57What was it like working as a bouncer?
43:00As a bouncer, it is fun.
43:04When I started, it was back in the day, it was a lot of fun because you're essentially
43:08there with your friends and most of the time, nothing happens.
43:13It's not like there's fights every single week.
43:15Most of the time, nothing really happens.
43:17You're basically babysitting a bunch of drunk toddlers.
43:20It's like, no, that's what people are when they go out.
43:23So nothing really goes on.
43:26And even when stuff does go on, a lot of the time, it's funny.
43:30Yeah.
43:30Like, with comedy, because there's so many stories about me being a bouncer because it's something
43:36most people can relate to because we've all walked past a bouncer.
43:39We've all probably been drunk and been out.
43:42There are so many similarities between being a bouncer and being a comedian.
43:46Because it's all about presence on the door.
43:49Same thing as the stage.
43:51And I think, I'm still dealing with drunk people.
43:53They just sit in rows now rather than the queue.
43:55So it's very similar.
43:57And they're paying to be there.
43:58They're paying to be there.
43:59Do you drop the fact that you're a bouncer into the top of the show to deter hecklers?
44:03Yeah, yeah, 100%.
44:04Yeah, great.
44:05So I've never really been heckled.
44:09That doesn't, and I used to, especially when I started, I'd put jokes right at the beginning.
44:15Because it would be, when it started, you start as an opening act.
44:19The emcee would say, don't heckle the comedians.
44:22If you want to heckle anyone, heckle me.
44:24So then I'd walk out and my opening joke was I've actually only been heckled once.
44:29He's dead now.
44:31And it just stopped every four minutes.
44:34And then literally just take a few seconds, just stare at everyone.
44:38And there was no one really heckled.
44:41Well, if you're brave enough to want to try and heckle Emmanuel,
44:44you can see him at the Sydney Comedy Festival, 23rd to the 26th of April.
44:49There are a few tickets left.
44:50Head to bombpresents.com.
44:53Would you please thank the wonderful Emmanuel Saludi?
45:08Welcome back to the Cheap Seats.
45:09Thank you so much for watching us this week.
45:11Before we go, let's check the latest forecast.
45:14Is it set to call off a little tomorrow?
45:16I'll have details in the forecast shortly.
45:17Well, I'm informed.
45:19It's all fun and games until someone throws a swordfish into the mix.
45:24No, we need a serious weather report, please.
45:26For a top of 21.
45:28Then we'll see some warmer conditions over the weekend.
45:30Okay.
45:34Unbelievable.
45:35Unbelievable.
45:36Okay, let's go to Channel 10 now.
45:37Sophie Jacobson will fill us in.
45:39Time for a final look at the weather with Sophie Jacobson.
45:41Sophie, enough clowning around.
45:43What's in store for the forecast?
45:46Jade, I'm having way too much fun up here, though.
45:49You're just joking.
45:50I'm down here.
45:51She's down there.
45:51Okay.
45:52But she is on top of a little pony.
45:54Yes.
45:55That's a fun way to announce a tropical cyclone, isn't it?
45:57Yes, it is.
45:59On that note, I think that's us done for the week.
46:01A big thank you to our guests, Mel Trissena, Denise Scott, and Aronios.
46:04Yes.
46:06Exactly.
46:07And thank you so much for watching us in here and at home.
46:10What a fun show.
46:11What a journey.
46:12We learnt so much.
46:13Absolutely.
46:13But I think one thing we'll all remember...
46:16Now, we're not calling them man bags, are we?
46:18No.
46:19They're just bags.
46:20They're just bags.
46:22We're done.
46:23We'll see you next week, right here, everybody.
46:26APPLAUSE
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