- 17 minutes ago
Taskmaster - S18E04 - Im a Girl Who Likes a Clean Line [Full Movie] [Ranked]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:16I
00:16Mean you're useless
00:34The answer to the question where can I say an overweight but dashing man get a feckless weasel with a
00:41wonky tooth to torture his peer group for pointless tasks
00:44Channel 4 that's where silly let's meet them now
01:03I
01:03Next to me a man who says that he loves to holiday in Wales because it is so beautiful
01:09But longs for the day when its people are driven into the sea
01:22Hello, Greg
01:24I've got your present. Thank you. Do you like cars?
01:27Do I get do you yes? Good. Oh, do you like Greg Davis?
01:33Barely stop looking in the mirror
01:35Well, I think you'll like genuine personalized number plates
01:47First size I'm a plate for Greg Davis does it say Gary Davis
01:57Surprised us today this time they've brought in the thing most likely to make you say war Christ now that
02:05is butter
02:10Badass
02:11Yes, sure we've all probably said badass and sure we've all probably had badass, but Greg wants to see something
02:17That makes him say it like he means it and that will result in five really really big points you
02:23Emma City. Yes. How are you gonna make me say now that is badass?
02:27This is something that I own
02:31It's very precious to me, and I think it speaks for itself
02:35React to this Greg. Okay. I know what I've got to say if it doesn't elicit the response here we
02:41go
02:41I
02:43I
02:50Nothing
02:53Now that is badass
02:54I
02:56Hate it. I find it religiously insensitive. Yes
03:01I think God and Jesus would love that
03:13Think any of the big three would like that
03:15I think it's horrible. Yeah, you should be ashamed
03:22Yo, are you gonna make me say why this is badass 100%? Well, how's your footwear nowadays bro?
03:28You've got your sock game on on lock. I won't lie. Yeah, I got something that better than these shoes
03:34100% way better than your shoes
03:40He's gonna get you these shoes Greg. All right
03:43Nike Air Force One let me tell you something. Yeah, so now when you come to like the ends, right?
03:49You wear white air forces when I come to the ends the ends bro watch top boy, bruv, okay?
03:57There's a lot of work for me to do before I can say these are badass
04:02All you need to do is just rock up with a pair of white air forces, but this is the
04:05thing you can't just rock up with a pair
04:07Air forces, right? You've got a laugh, but the laugh has to be smooth. You've got to be like
04:15What situations am I gonna do this in brother?
04:18I'm just trying to inject some youth into you. You're the one that's turned like what did you say like
04:2175?
04:22It feels like
04:24Feels like it, but I don't know whether I'm gonna feel more useful if I go into any situation and
04:29go
04:31With a pair of white trainers. I'm not gonna lie, that laugh was good though
04:35Yeah, and it felt good
04:36Hello, Rosie
04:37Oh, yeah
04:38What have you brought in?
04:39So I brought in something and then I've also brought in a promise
04:48Mmm
04:49Ooh
04:50Ooh
04:51Let's dance
04:53Well, there's nothing more bad at that than a tattoo
04:59I got two, one, two
05:02And I got a third one
05:05Here
05:06Yes
05:07LAUGHTER
05:11APPLAUSE
05:12And I'm thinking you've heard of it
05:14Wow, that's quite badass
05:16So the promise is if you don't award me quite highly
05:27Yeah
05:27I'll do it again
05:30LAUGHTER
05:34Good, thank you, Rosie
05:36Jack
05:37Yeah
05:38Are you badass?
05:39I'm unpopular in the world of hip-hop and rap
05:42And so I borrowed something from a rapper, a friend of mine
05:46And he sent me one of his outfits
05:49And he's pretty famous as well, so I...
05:53You draft it up?
05:53No, I'll give you the name, he's called TK Maxx
05:56LAUGHTER
05:59I know that guy
06:00Yeah
06:00And he just said, whatever you need, I'm sending it to you
06:03Greg, is this badass?
06:06LAUGHTER
06:08Er, no
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10That would be the outfit I would wear
06:13If I was unloading an angel from the back of a van
06:17LAUGHTER
06:19Anyway, it's your choice
06:21I've made my choice
06:23It is not badass
06:24Yeah
06:25Only Andy Zaltzman can save us
06:27Those are dangerous words, Greg
06:29Well, I thought, you know, what would make you say badass
06:32Oh, I made you a work of art
06:34Let's reveal Andy's work of art
06:36Here we go
06:37LAUGHTER
06:40APPLAUSE
06:41APPLAUSE
06:44Now, that is a badass
06:46Also, I mean, let's look at the quality of the painting
06:49LAUGHTER
06:51That's...
06:51That's bad, isn't it?
06:52Oh, it's just that badass
06:53LAUGHTER
06:54It's a badass
06:55And it's badass
06:56Yes
06:57See, Emma, how this works?
06:59LAUGHTER
07:00Go back and see that cherub
07:02Cos after all this, you're going to be like, well, my God
07:04Stick the cherub back up for us
07:06OK, here is the badass cherub
07:08LAUGHTER
07:08Yeah
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11LAUGHTER
07:12Shit
07:13LAUGHTER
07:15Which one would make you say badass least?
07:17It's between Jack's awful moving outfit
07:20And Emma's badass angel
07:22Shall I be really nice and give them both two?
07:24Pair of trainers as well in that mix?
07:25Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
07:27Let him make his decision
07:28LAUGHTER
07:29Oh, no, he's right, though
07:31Oh, no, he's not right!
07:32He is right!
07:33What are you doing?
07:34Well picked up on
07:35I'll give two points to all of those people
07:36And then we'll jump up
07:37I think we've got to reward Zaltzman
07:39He created the correct ass for the situation
07:42I'm going to give him five points
07:44And I'll give this merger a four
07:45Five points
07:46Two, two, two
07:47Very well
07:48APPLAUSE
07:50Yes, let's get going
07:52OK, let's take things to the next level
07:55MUSIC PLAYS
08:10Hi, Alex
08:11Howdy!
08:13It's gold this time
08:15It's nice, nice little touch
08:17Ooh
08:20Can I open this as task, probably?
08:24Here we go
08:25That's what we want
08:28Not that gold shit
08:31LAUGHTER
08:33Push...
08:35Push the envelope the furthest
08:37You have half an hour
08:39Your time starts...
08:41Now
08:43I could say some outrageous things
08:44See if that pushes the envelope
08:46Get myself cancelled
08:49Is it a prize?
08:51What?
08:51Is it rude?
08:55Like...
08:55Boxing the envelope
08:58LAUGHTER
08:58What's this pillow for?
09:00What's this supposed to do?
09:01Present my nuts on it to my wife
09:04LAUGHTER
09:06Have you ever pushed the envelope before?
09:07Yeah
09:08What did he do?
09:10Erm...
09:10I dressed as Spongebob Squarepants
09:13To a fancy dress party
09:15And everyone's like
09:16We don't do that in Guildford
09:18And I was like...
09:19I do
09:21You do that when I come into the room
09:22Like...
09:24Happy Valentine's!
09:25LAUGHTER
09:27Right, I'm going to take the envelope
09:31Excuse me
09:34Oh, that's better
09:35OK
09:35See you in half an hour, sir
09:43You were surprisingly heavily sexual from three out of five of you
09:48You were asked to push the envelope and within seconds Jones had compared it to a vagina, I presume
09:53Of course
09:55LAUGHTER
09:57I haven't heard a phrase push the envelope ever
10:04Ever
10:04It could be rude
10:06What you're saying is if you don't understand any phrase in the English language
10:11You assume it's sexual
10:13Yeah
10:14Right, right
10:14Sort of like some people have walked past you and said
10:18Oh, a rolling stone gathers no moss
10:19And you've gone, tell me about it
10:21Yeah
10:22LAUGHTER
10:24LAUGHTER
10:25APPLAUSE
10:26I think we should
10:27We're going to begin by watching Emma and Rosie push their envelopes
10:31Oh, God
10:32I'm going to push the envelope within myself
10:39You're going to push the envelope within yourself, what does that mean?
10:42I'm going to eat the envelope
10:51I am going to push the envelope the farthest!
10:55Here I go
11:06Maybe I can get my own cooking show
11:13Nigella meets Raymond's
11:20You're brave
11:21You're brave
11:22You're brave
11:23You're brave
11:26You're brave
11:27Little bit
11:27I can't
11:29It
11:29LAUGHTER
11:35Oh
11:36I missed it briefly
11:42Right, there you go
11:46To Greg, Taskmaster, Love Hearts
11:49There's actually a letter inside
11:52But it's private
11:52There you go, mate
11:54Pushed it
11:56Change in, bottomed up
12:00LAUGHTER
12:08LAUGHTER
12:09LAUGHTER
12:09LAUGHTER
12:09LAUGHTER
12:10LAUGHTER
12:11LAUGHTER
12:19APPLAUSE
12:19Well, I just hope you give her enough shit for being a smoothie girl as well
12:23She's revealed her true colours there
12:24She loves the smoothies
12:25Glugged it down, didn't you?
12:26That was all willing to just eat the paper
12:32Yeah, they made you turn it into a smoothie for your own safety
12:35Yes
12:35And we still need to say you shouldn't eat an envelope, you also shouldn't drink an envelope
12:40LAUGHTER
12:40You could chug it down
12:42Is that pushing the envelope?
12:43I was pushing the envelope by pushing the envelope down my gullet
12:52And, ultimately, out of your bop-bot
12:55Yeah, yeah
12:56LAUGHTER
12:57You know what?
12:59Still a little bit cold
13:02LAUGHTER
13:03LAUGHTER
13:06Ever
13:06I will say, I thought you did great cartwheels
13:09Thank you
13:10And you could still be in the game, because I haven't read your letter yet
13:12Oh, my God
13:13Letter
13:15I don't know what I said
13:16No-one knows what you said, because you said it was private
13:19Oh, no
13:21I think I was having a weird week
13:23LAUGHTER
13:25LAUGHTER
13:27Oh, well
13:29It is
13:33Polite
13:36It literally says, I hope you've had a good week
13:38LAUGHTER
13:40Ah
13:41OK, who's next?
13:42OK, well, next up, it's A, B, C, D
13:45Jack D!
13:49BUZZER
13:50BUZZER
13:53BUZZER
13:54BUZZER
13:55There's your envelope
13:57BUZZER
13:58BUZZER
13:59BUZZER
14:00BUZZER
14:01How's your day going, Jack?
14:02Not as...
14:03..dignified as i thought it would
14:06BUZZER
14:08BUZZER
14:08It didn't work, I wasn't happy with that
14:12BUZZER
14:13BUZZER
14:24BUZZER
14:26BUZZER
14:27BUZZER
14:27BUZZER
14:28BUZZER
14:28BUZZER
14:28BUZZER
14:31BUZZER
14:40Oh, my God.
15:10LAUGHTER
15:19All I've written is, well, that will save BAFTA some money
15:23for your in-memorandum film.
15:26LAUGHTER
15:28Yeah.
15:29LAUGHTER
15:30And the sooner they play, the better.
15:33LAUGHTER
15:34Absolutely heartbreaking.
15:36It pushed the envelope.
15:37It made me genuinely feel quite emotional.
15:40Yeah.
15:40In total on that day, he pushed the envelope three miles.
15:44LAUGHTER
15:45I would have carried on when the crew caught up with me
15:47and said I had to stop.
15:49LAUGHTER
15:49Well, the time had run out quite a long time.
15:50About the two-mile mark the time had run out, yeah.
15:53LAUGHTER
15:53Kept on going.
15:54Oh, nice.
15:56Right, break time.
15:58Let's end on a high with some of Alex's impressions.
16:01It's Alex's Impression Hour.
16:03Ready?
16:03No.
16:04Donald Trump!
16:05Hey, how are you, guys?
16:07I can't do impressions.
16:08Greg Wallace!
16:09Hey, you want to eat your dinner?
16:10I'm going to...
16:11Camilla Parker Balls!
16:14Good evening, everyone.
16:15See you in the Bustards!
16:24APPLAUSE
16:30Welcome back to Trustmaster, where the competitors are pushing the envelope.
16:35Oh, yes.
16:35They could do pretty much anything to impress Greg with this one,
16:38to extend the limits of what's possible.
16:40Or you could just pace about a bit with a letter in a wheelbarrow.
16:43Last up, it's Baba and Andy.
16:46All right, how do I push this thing?
16:48I could make a bowl out of it.
16:50Look, it's a bowl.
16:52Someone get me milk and cereal.
16:54Are you talking to me?
16:56Yes!
17:01Right, you little paper monstrosity.
17:03Where is it?
17:04You pathetic little failed origami pigeon.
17:06I wouldn't lick you if you were the last envelope on Earth.
17:09Where is it?
17:10Tell me where it is!
17:12How do you make serious?
17:13You look like you put the milk in first.
17:15Always milk first.
17:16How very dare you?
17:17Who does that?
17:21Want to talk now, my slightly crumpled friend?
17:27Answer the question!
17:28Answer the question!
17:30Answer the question!
17:32I ain't gonna eat this.
17:33I think you should eat a little bit.
17:35Nah, my guy.
17:35I don't drink cow's milk.
17:37If I drink this, you'll hear me in the toilet going,
17:40Moo!
17:41You know what I'm saying?
17:41Like, I'll really be chewing up that toilet.
17:44Maybe this will make you talk.
17:47Well, you wanna be next?
17:49Tell me what you know.
17:50Well, God help me.
17:50I will shred you.
17:51I will shred you!
17:54Last chance.
17:55I know you wanna tell me.
17:56Talk.
17:59I knew it.
18:00I did it.
18:01I stole the life cast of Alex Horne.
18:03I shrank it and I hid it in a wooden box under a cow.
18:07I knew you'd break eventually.
18:08Here comes the aeroplane!
18:10Yay!
18:13Come on, come on!
18:14Nicely!
18:16Right.
18:21There it is.
18:22It's like he's been working out.
18:25Mystery solved.
18:26I'll push that envelope good and proper.
18:33Andy, very creative.
18:35Genuinely disturbing.
18:38Thanks.
18:38I just think this show is just revealing you to be just not the person everyone thought you were.
18:44It's just...
18:45It's not revealing me to be not the person I thought I was.
18:47From episode to episode, you're getting more and more terrifying.
18:50LAUGHTER
18:52That's very good, Andy.
18:53And quite the contrast, jumping from that...
18:56..to Baba feeding cereal into your stupid face from an envelope.
19:02Can I just say something?
19:03I pushed the envelope to its limits.
19:05I made...
19:06I made it into a bowl.
19:08LAUGHTER
19:08I mean, it doesn't matter how emphatically you taste it.
19:11LAUGHTER
19:12Do you scream nice, innit, into the face of your young children when you're feeding them?
19:17LAUGHTER
19:23I do as well.
19:29OK, but who pushed it the least far?
19:32Who pushed it the furthest?
19:33I feel like I'm...
19:34Do you feel like a bit picked on today?
19:36I can't think how I'm going to not put you last when you did three cartwheels
19:40and then wrote me a letter asking how I was.
19:43LAUGHTER
19:43LAUGHTER
19:44So it's one to Emma.
19:46Baba, two points.
19:47Two to you, Baba.
19:47Hmm.
19:48OK, I'm going to give Rosie three points.
19:50HE WANTS!
19:52HE WANTS!
19:52HE WANTS!
19:53HE WANTS!
19:53HE WANTS!
19:55HE WANTS!
19:56HE WANTS!
19:56HE WANTS!
19:56HE WANTS!
19:57HE WANTS!
20:12HE WANTS!
20:13HE WANTS!
20:14HE WANTS!
20:15HE WANTS!
20:15HE WANTS!
20:27HE WANTS!
20:28HE WANTS!
20:29HE WANTS!
20:52HE WANTS!
20:56HE WANTS!
20:58HE WANTS!
20:59HE WANTS!
21:01HE WANTS!
21:02HE WANTS!
21:03HE WANTS!
21:04HE WANTS!
21:04HE WANTS!
21:05HE WANTS!
21:05HE WANTS!
21:06HE WANTS!
21:06HE WANTS!
21:09HE WANTS!
21:10I'm the hottest hot dog you've ever seen in your life.
21:13I agree with... Oh, you're still talking, yeah.
21:15Come on. So, whatever you do on this task
21:16will be worth twice the number of points for you.
21:18See you in a minute.
21:20PHONE RINGS
21:23Bye-bye. Bye.
21:25There's a carrot on your back.
21:30Take a bite out of Alex's carrot.
21:34Alex's carrot? Is that a euphemism?
21:35Is that an actual carrot?
21:37No.
21:38Alex will ring his bell every ten seconds.
21:42You must laugh constantly throughout.
21:44No problem!
21:49You must both only walk at a gentle pace.
21:54No problem!
21:57Fast and the wind.
22:05Fastest winds.
22:07The time starts now.
22:08I won't.
22:35You
22:39This is what I'm saying, bro. Should have brought it to the trainers
22:44We're gonna start with a happy Jack and a rambling Rosie
23:24Oh
23:25You know Alex
23:34That's wrong
23:42I
24:08Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:13Hmm.
24:16Oh, hmm, hmm, hmm.
24:21Ha, ha, ha.
24:23Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
24:53The Alex yeah, yeah
24:59Well, I know the way out. I will see you outside. Goodbye
25:13Well an absolute vision of hell in many ways watching both of you go through that
25:17Dystopian nightmare made so much worse by me realising for the first time that Rosie Jones has got daddy written
25:24across her back
25:28I felt she was relentless. Well, she was got me in three minutes 49
25:34Jack has the best laughter carrot noise that I think we'll see tonight. He went
25:39haha
25:42Three minutes 26 for Jack it was a pretty oh pretty close race just over three minutes. Mm-hmm. Lovely
25:48now
25:48It's time to get giddy with MSD. Oh
26:27Oh
26:36Two bells
26:39Ah
26:41Ah
26:43Ah
26:44Ah
26:54They're swapping bells!
26:57Swapping bells, you bastards!
26:59Ha ha ha ha ha!
27:01Ha ha ha ha
27:02Ha ha ha ha ha!
27:04Ha ha ha ha ha!
27:06Oh, mama.
27:07Oh, mama.
27:20Oh, mama.
27:21Hello, mama.
27:23Really infuriating, that.
27:24Mm-hmm.
27:25That other bloke.
27:27What other bloke?
27:28No, I...
27:29I'm not doing that.
27:30No?
27:31Blinder.
27:32Bye-bye.
27:34APPLAUSE
27:36I wish more people would shut him down like that.
27:40No, I'm not doing that.
27:41It was a treat.
27:43I've clearly had enough, which really worries me.
27:46How long was that?
27:47It felt like a long time, and I felt like you went from someone
27:50doing quite a fun comedy laugh to someone who could kill.
27:56Yeah.
27:57And the tipping point for me was this.
27:58Ha-ha-ha-ha.
27:59He-he.
28:01All three of you walked 300 metres.
28:03They took three minutes.
28:04You took eight minutes.
28:05It could have been longer.
28:06I could have kept that going for hours, I think.
28:10LAUGHTER
28:10There was no way you were going to catch me.
28:12LAUGHTER
28:14Because...
28:15It's because she was going too slow.
28:17We will have fun.
28:18He-he-he-he-he.
28:20OK, time for another break.
28:21Hopefully there will be an overseas advert that has been
28:24badly dubbed in English so that the company could save money.
28:27Followed quickly, I hope, by a nuclear apocalypse.
28:31It's what we deserve.
28:32It's genuinely my birthday.
28:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:48HELLO!
28:49Welcome back to Taskmaster, where the bellend's got a bell
28:53and he won't stop ringing it.
28:54LAUGHTER
28:55Yeah, I suppose that's true.
28:57Just two people to go and one of them's dressed as a hot dog.
29:00It's Andy Zoltzman and playing for double points,
29:02it's Babatunde Alesha.
29:05LAUGHTER
29:05Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:25Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:26LAUGHTER
29:27LAUGHTER
29:28Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:30Ah, I got you.
29:32Yes, I got your talent, bro.
29:33I'll try it, bro.
29:34Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:36Yeah, I'm the man.
29:38I won, right?
29:41Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:58Oh, oh.
29:59Oh, oh, oh.
30:00Oh, oh, oh.
30:01Ha-ha-ha!
30:03BUZZER
30:05BUZZER
30:06BUZZER
30:07BUZZER
30:07BUZZER
30:07BUZZER
30:08BUZZER
30:09Can I go?
30:11Everybody did it in 35 seconds so...
30:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:15Ten points!
30:17Still winning.
30:18So, Andy, you get four points, but Baba, you get ten points.
30:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:24One more task proper please, small boy.
30:28I'm the man sure thing ding-a-ling get ready to check out my versatile new jacket
30:51Can I help I'm on a turntable Jack mm-hmm spinning around
30:59Not really are you you're turning around
31:04Oh look feels a bit personal
31:09Pick the taskmaster's locket from its pocket
31:12Every time you pick an incorrect pocket you must high-five Alex
31:17If you touch temper with or peek into a pocket you must pick it
31:21For you it's pockets picked
31:26Woodens you have a maximum of 15 minutes your time starts now
31:31May I touch you?
31:38Why are you spinning it's just the setting
31:44Just wind up
31:49Have you got a moment just to replay what I think might be the creepiest moment in taskmaster history
31:58Yeah I think I know what you mean
32:00Here it is
32:01May I touch you?
32:0718 series and I've never felt a shudder like it
32:11What is wrong with that?
32:15It's about consent
32:18Yeah
32:19It is about consent
32:24Thank you
32:25Thank you
32:26Thank you
32:26Thank you
32:27Thank you
32:27First to locate the locket it's Jack and Bubba
32:29OK so I'm thinking there's going to be a some sort of locket in one of those pockets
32:35Mm-hmm
32:36Yeah yeah
32:38Is that the locket?
32:40No it's lipstick
32:40Do I put it there?
32:41Yeah
32:41I put it here
32:42What's this?
32:43Chinese five spice
32:45Chinese five spice
32:47There's nothing in there is other than that
32:52It's a bloody raisin
32:53OK stop
32:56Bow!
32:57Found the locket yet?
32:58No that's a dog biscuit
33:00OK
33:01What's in here?
33:01Nope
33:02It's the bloody locket
33:04Bow!
33:08You take a lot of stuff around with you don't you?
33:11Yep
33:11108 pockets
33:12I can see another locket
33:13Pick up yourself
33:16No that's nothing else
33:19That's just a bag of
33:20That's my bag of yellow
33:21Yeah
33:21Bag of yellow
33:22Fair enough
33:26Pick up yourself
33:29Don't trust sound people or makeup artists
33:34That's a bit bad isn't it?
33:35I trust sound people or makeup artists why wouldn't you?
33:38You shouldn't
33:39Yeah good advice thank you
33:41Not what you're after
33:42Right
33:43Keys
33:44What do I open this with?
33:46Ah
33:46This might be it
33:47No it's a compass
33:49It's a compass with my name on it
33:51Babatunde
33:52Hey it says my name on it
33:53Come on
33:53There's a picture of me
33:54Yeah
33:55Nice
33:55I've just got a couple of things with your names on it
33:58That's very thoughtful
34:00Oh my days with this stupid ass rocket man
34:03Getting on my nerves
34:04Stone with Y written on it
34:06Ah
34:07These are starting to annoy me
34:08Rockets
34:09Too many of them
34:10Why have you got milk
34:11Thirsty
34:12Yuck
34:13It's an I
34:14Mm-hmm
34:14So
34:16Yeah
34:17Hey
34:19Pick the locket from the pocket
34:22That's it
34:22That's the padlock
34:23Oh for goodness sake
34:24It's a man out one
34:25What the hell
34:26Five and a half minutes left
34:28I find this locket
34:29Left
34:29Oh a pebble
34:30So it spells you
34:31Right
34:32I don't think that's got any relevance
34:34Right
34:34Okay
34:35Yeah
34:35I found the other eye though
34:37There you go
34:42The locket is in your pocket
34:44The locket is in your pocket
34:45No it ain't
34:46I'm gonna lock it in my pocket
34:51Ha ha ha
34:52Ha ha
34:53Ha ha
34:56Where you are
34:57You got the locket
34:58How do you do that?
34:59You like David Copperfield now
35:01Are you?
35:02And there's a piece of hair in there as well
35:04You got my own hair
35:04That's okay
35:05Well I should treasure that
35:12I mean these of you thought
35:14There might be a faster way of doing this
35:16Just went route one
35:17How were we supposed to know that
35:19There was a locket in our pocket?
35:20I realised after this
35:21Because someone took my jacket to do something
35:23And I should have
35:24Yeah
35:25You know trustingly I said
35:26Yeah of course thank you
35:27I thanked them
35:28I thanked them
35:29Do you want to know how many pockets they picked?
35:31Yes please
35:32Baba Tunde 41 incorrect pockets
35:35Jack 70
35:38Would you like to see Rosie Jones' Locket Adventure?
35:41Let's go
35:41Rosie Jones
35:42I don't think it's in this
35:47Cos that would be obvious
35:52Who can I pick that one?
35:57Don't trust sound people on make-up artists
36:05Well you don't need to tell me that
36:10They've got pieces of shit
36:13Is it in your pocket?
36:19You said no
36:21But I don't trust it
36:32You said no
36:33You guys want it?
36:34Yeah
36:34Right
36:39Oh
36:40Is it on me?
36:44Oh my God
36:52You sneaky bugger.
36:56Well done, Rosie.
36:58Don't trust anyone.
37:07I just want to make it clear that when Rosie was told
37:11not to trust sound and lighting people, she said, and I quote,
37:14you don't need to tell me that, they're all pieces of shit.
37:21I mean it!
37:25And you then went on to blatantly steal money from a sound man's wife.
37:31Yes, Neil was lying to me.
37:36At least I could do was Robin.
37:43He wasn't lying to me.
37:45It was fast, surely.
37:46Well, it's all about the number of pockets picked.
37:48Yes.
37:48Five of Neil's, five of her own, three of mine, so 13 in total.
37:5213 in total.
37:55We're stopping again.
37:56One part left to go, and at the end of it,
37:58someone will stroll proudly out of the studio,
38:01carrying a sculpture of a cherub wearing sunglasses
38:04and a painting of a banged-up donkey.
38:06This isn't a cheese dream.
38:08We're all being paid for this.
38:11We'll see you in part four.
38:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:26Welcome back, it's part four, and Alex has a stupid jacket on.
38:30It's not stupid, actually.
38:31You're stupid.
38:32Lee attractive.
38:34LAUGHTER
38:36Yes, I...
38:37They have to find the locket by picking the fewest pockets possible.
38:41Two left, it's Andy and Emma.
38:44OK, I'm just going to take a second.
38:49The Taskmaster's locket.
38:51Doesn't necessarily...
38:51It's one of your pockets, though, is it?
38:53Are there clues in your pockets?
38:55All I do is spin round.
38:56OK.
38:58So there's bits of paper in some of these pockets, by the looks of it.
39:00Are you peeking?
39:02Overviewing.
39:03Peeking is...
39:04That's a specific pocket, I'd say.
39:06All right.
39:14Well, some action.
39:16There's a great big statue of the Taskmaster outside.
39:19Mm.
39:20Can that count as a locket?
39:21It's not a locket, and it wasn't in a pocket, Andy.
39:24OK, I think I'm going to have to pick a pocket.
39:27Excuse me.
39:29So that appears to be Richard Herring on a red fish.
39:35Half your time gone.
39:39Chinese five spice.
39:40It's the spice for me.
39:43Right, I need an alternative pocket again.
39:45How many minutes have I got left?
39:46Four and a half.
39:46Four and a half, OK.
39:47I'll use it wisely.
39:52You've got three minutes, Andy.
39:57Right.
39:58I found a pineapple and some string.
39:59Was it in a pocket?
40:00Well, not yet, but I could put it in a pocket.
40:02From that one.
40:03Jack, two points for you.
40:05Three to Bubba, four to Rosie, but five to Emma City!
40:08Congratulations!
40:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:20Right, everyone, will you please make your way to the stage
40:22for the final task of the show!
40:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:31Who will be reading the task page in front of a lad, Bubba?
40:34OK.
40:36Gather a herd of animals with exactly 22 legs.
40:41You may not harm any animals.
40:44You may only use animals on either side of this wall,
40:49and you may not use each other.
40:52On Alex's whistle, you must hurl one of your herd over the wall.
40:57When your herd has 22 legs, only then may you don your tutus.
41:03First team in tutus wins.
41:04Each of them have six animals on their bench,
41:08and that's where the herd lives.
41:10You've got a flamingo with one leg,
41:12a kangaroo with two,
41:13a sick dog with three legs,
41:15Patatas the cat with four legs,
41:17a monster there with...
41:18You've got to throw something every 15 seconds.
41:21That's when I'll blow the whistle.
41:22If you don't do the maths correctly within the 15 seconds
41:25and another animal comes over,
41:26and you've missed the tutu opportunity,
41:27it carries on.
41:28Got it.
41:29Good luck.
41:30Right, we're going for...
41:31We're going for three.
41:32OK, well, maybe don't say it out...
41:34LAUGHTER
41:37Pick up an animal, get ready to throw.
41:39You're going to be throwing on the whistle.
41:40Three, two, one.
41:43Lovely.
41:43Put that on the bench.
41:45That's 22.
41:51That's 22.
41:53Task complete. Done.
42:00Wow. They did it.
42:02Well, not many people would be brave enough to say it.
42:04I will.
42:05The show's been great.
42:06That.
42:07Was.
42:08Rubbish.
42:10Come down here, we'll add that to the final score!
42:13APPLAUSE
42:18What a glorious anticliminal.
42:21I'm talking about maybe one of my favourite tasks ever.
42:24LAUGHTER
42:25It's really made the scoreboard interesting.
42:27Because a team of three gets five points each for that.
42:30The team of two...
42:31Zero.
42:32Aww.
42:33And the winner is...
42:34Bubba with 22 points!
42:36Yes!
42:37Yes!
42:38Yes!
42:40Babacombe Amache wins!
42:42Please, bowl up to brandish your badass belongings!
42:50So, what have we learnt from today's show?
42:53We've learnt that Taskmaster, it's a silly old show, really,
42:56but at times, it has the capacity to move.
42:59The haunting image of Jack Dee strolling heroically into the sunset,
43:04his destination unknown, pushing that envelope,
43:07will forever be etched on all of our minds.
43:11And let's also not forget...
43:13Baba's nuts on a pillow.
43:15LAUGHTER
43:15And here he is again tonight, cos he's the winner,
43:19it's Babatunde Alessi!
43:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:41admin LAUGHTER
43:44APPLAUSE
43:46APPLAUSE
43:47It looks cool and every single person will pass through the film.
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