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Taskmaster - S18E04 - Im a Girl Who Likes a Clean Line [Full Movie] [Ranked]Full EP - Full
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00:16I
00:16Mean you're useless
00:34The answer to the question where can I say an overweight but dashing man get a feckless weasel with a
00:41wonky tooth to torture his peer group for pointless tasks
00:44Channel 4 that's where silly let's meet them now
01:03I
01:03Next to me a man who says that he loves to holiday in Wales because it is so beautiful
01:09But longs for the day when its people are driven into the sea
01:22Hello, Greg
01:24I've got your present. Thank you. Do you like cars?
01:27Do I get do you yes? Good. Oh, do you like Greg Davis?
01:33Barely stop looking in the mirror
01:35Well, I think you'll like genuine personalized number plates
01:47First size I'm a plate for Greg Davis does it say Gary Davis
01:57Surprised us today this time they've brought in the thing most likely to make you say war Christ now that
02:05is butter
02:10Badass
02:11Yes, sure we've all probably said badass and sure we've all probably had badass, but Greg wants to see something
02:17That makes him say it like he means it and that will result in five really really big points you
02:23Emma City. Yes. How are you gonna make me say now that is badass?
02:27This is something that I own
02:31It's very precious to me, and I think it speaks for itself
02:35React to this Greg. Okay. I know what I've got to say if it doesn't elicit the response here we
02:41go
02:41I
02:43I
02:50Nothing
02:53Now that is badass
02:54I
02:56Hate it. I find it religiously insensitive. Yes
03:01I think God and Jesus would love that
03:13Think any of the big three would like that
03:15I think it's horrible. Yeah, you should be ashamed
03:22Yo, are you gonna make me say why this is badass 100%? Well, how's your footwear nowadays bro?
03:28You've got your sock game on on lock. I won't lie. Yeah, I got something that better than these shoes
03:34100% way better than your shoes
03:40He's gonna get you these shoes Greg. All right
03:43Nike Air Force One let me tell you something. Yeah, so now when you come to like the ends, right?
03:49You wear white air forces when I come to the ends the ends bro watch top boy, bruv, okay?
03:57There's a lot of work for me to do before I can say these are badass
04:02All you need to do is just rock up with a pair of white air forces, but this is the
04:05thing you can't just rock up with a pair
04:07Air forces, right? You've got a laugh, but the laugh has to be smooth. You've got to be like
04:15What situations am I gonna do this in brother?
04:18I'm just trying to inject some youth into you. You're the one that's turned like what did you say like
04:2175?
04:22It feels like
04:24Feels like it, but I don't know whether I'm gonna feel more useful if I go into any situation and
04:29go
04:31With a pair of white trainers. I'm not gonna lie, that laugh was good though
04:35Yeah, and it felt good
04:36Hello, Rosie
04:37Oh, yeah
04:38What have you brought in?
04:39So I brought in something and then I've also brought in a promise
04:48Mmm
04:49Ooh
04:50Ooh
04:51Let's dance
04:53Well, there's nothing more bad at that than a tattoo
04:59I got two, one, two
05:02And I got a third one
05:05Here
05:06Yes
05:07Yes
05:08Yes
05:08Yes
05:08Yes
05:13Yes
05:14Yes
05:15Wow, that's quite badass
05:16So the promise is if you don't award me quite highly
05:27Yes
05:28I'll do it again
05:34Yes
05:35Yes
05:36Thank you, Rosie
05:36Jack
05:37Yeah
05:38Are you badass?
05:39I'm unpopular in the world of hip-hop and rap
05:42And so I borrowed something from a rapper friend of mine
05:46And he sent me one of his outfits and he's pretty famous as well, so I
05:53You'd rather not
05:53No, I'll give you the name, he's called TK Maxx
05:59I know that guy
06:00Yeah, and he just said, whatever you need, I'm sending it to you
06:03Greg, is this badass?
06:06LAUGHTER
06:08Er, no
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10That would be the outfit I would wear if I was unloading an angel from the back of a van
06:17LAUGHTER
06:19Anyway, it's your choice
06:21I've made my julies
06:22It is not badass
06:24Yeah
06:25Only Andy Zaltzman can save us
06:27Those are dangerous words, Greg
06:29Well, I thought, you know, what would make you say badass or I made you a work of art?
06:34Let's reveal Andy's work of art, here we go
06:37LAUGHTER
06:41APPLAUSE
06:44Now, that is a badass
06:46Also, I mean, let's look at the quality of the painting
06:50LAUGHTER
06:51That's... that's bad, isn't it?
06:52Oh, it's just that badass
06:53It's a badass
06:55Yeah
06:55And it's badass
06:56Yes
06:57See Emma how this works?
07:00Go back and see that cherub
07:02Cos after all this, you're going to be like, well, my God
07:04Stick the cherub back up for us
07:06OK, here is the badass cherub
07:07LAUGHTER
07:08Yeah
07:10LAUGHTER
07:12Shit
07:14LAUGHTER
07:15Which one would make you say badass least?
07:17It's between Jack's awful moving outfit
07:20And Emma's badass angel
07:22Shall I be really nice and give them both two?
07:24A pair of trainers as well in that mix
07:25Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
07:27Let him make his decision
07:29Oh, no, he's right, though
07:31Oh, no, he's not right
07:32He is right
07:33What are you doing?
07:34I'll give two points to all of those people and then we'll jump up
07:37I think we've got to reward Zaltzman
07:39He created the correct ass for the situation
07:42I'm going to give him five points and I'll give this merger a four
07:45Five points
07:46Two, two, two
07:47Very well
07:50Right, let's get going
07:52OK, let's take things to the next level
08:06Oh, Alex
08:11Hi, Alex
08:13It's gold this time
08:15It's nice
08:16Nice, nice little touch
08:18Ooh
08:20Can I open this as task, probably?
08:23Here we go
08:25That's what we want
08:28Not that gold shit
08:33Push
08:34Push
08:35Push the envelope the furthest
08:37You have half an hour
08:39Your time starts
08:41Now
08:42I could say some outrageous things
08:44See if that pushes the envelope
08:46Get myself cancelled
08:48Is it a prize?
08:51What?
08:51Is it rude?
08:53Like
08:55Boxing the envelope
08:59What's this pillow for?
09:00What's this supposed to do?
09:01Present my nuts on it to my wife
09:06Have you ever pushed the envelope before?
09:08Yeah
09:08What did he do?
09:10Erm
09:10I dressed as Spongebob Squarepants
09:13To a fancy dress party
09:15And everyone's like
09:16We don't do that in Guildford
09:18And I was like
09:19I do
09:21You do that when I come into the room
09:22Like, hey
09:24Happy Valentine
09:27Right, I'm going to take the envelope
09:31Excuse me
09:34Oh, that's better
09:35OK
09:35Two and a half an hour or so
09:43He was surprisingly heavily sexual
09:46From three out of five of you
09:48You were asked to push the envelope
09:50And within seconds
09:51Jones had compared it to a vagina
09:53I presume
09:54Of course
09:57I haven't heard the prize
10:01Push the envelope
10:03Ever
10:04It could be rude
10:07What you're saying is
10:08If you don't understand
10:09Any phrase in the English language
10:11You assume it's sexual
10:13Yeah
10:14Right, fine
10:14So, like, some people have
10:16Walked past you and said
10:18Oh, a rolling stone gathers no moss
10:19And you've gone
10:20Tell me about it
10:21Yeah
10:26I think we should
10:27We're going to begin by watching Emma and Rosie push their envelopes
10:31Oh, God
10:32I'm going to push the envelope within myself
10:39You're going to push the envelope within yourself
10:41What does that mean?
10:42I'm going to eat the envelope
10:51I'm going to push the envelope the farthest
10:57Here I go
11:06Maybe I can get my own cooking show
11:13Nigella meets Raymond's
11:20Your please
11:22Your please
11:25Go
11:27Go
11:28Go
11:29Go
11:39Go
11:45right there you go to Greg taskmaster love hearts there's actually a letter
11:51inside but it's private there you go mate pushed it change in bottom
12:08don't
12:09Okay
12:14Come up to give you a bit smoothie
12:20Well, I just hope you give her enough shit for being a smoothie girl as well
12:23She's revealed her true colors there. She loves the smoothies look good dang didn't you?
12:26I was all willing to just eat the paper
12:32Yeah, they made you turn it into a smoothie for your own safety
12:35Yes
12:35We still need to say you shouldn't eat an envelope you also shouldn't drink an envelope
12:40Yeah
12:40You could chug it down. Is that pushing the envelope?
12:43I was pushing the envelope by pushing the envelope down my gullet
12:53And ultimately out of your bot bot
12:55Yeah, yeah
12:56You know what?
12:59It's still a bit cold
13:05Emma
13:06I will say I thought you did great cartwheels
13:09Thank you
13:10And you could still be in the game because I haven't read your letter yet
13:12Oh my god
13:13Letter
13:15I don't know what I said
13:16No one knows what you said because you said it was private
13:19Oh no
13:21I think I was having a weird week
13:27Oh
13:27Well
13:28It
13:29Is
13:32Polite
13:35It literally says I hope you've had a good week
13:38LAUGHTER
13:40Oh
13:41OK
13:41Who's next?
13:42OK, well next up it's A, B, C, D
13:45Jack D
13:55There's your envelope
14:01How's your day going Jack?
14:02Not as dignified as I thought it would
14:08It didn't work, I wasn't happy with that
14:10Yeah
14:34Ever
14:35How's your day going?
14:39Melan
14:47Oh, my God.
15:19All of it means, well, that will save BAFTA some money for your in-memorandum film.
15:28Yeah.
15:30And the sooner they play, they're better.
15:34Absolutely heartbreaking.
15:36It pushed the envelope. It made me genuinely feel quite emotional.
15:39Mm-hmm. Yeah. In total, on that day, he pushed the envelope three miles.
15:45I would have carried on, but the crew caught up with me and said I had to stop.
15:49Well, the time had run out quite a long time. About the two-mile mark, the time had run out.
15:52Yeah. Kept on going.
15:54Oh, nice.
15:56Right, break time. Let's end on a high with some of Alex's impressions.
16:01It's Alex's Impression Hour. Ready?
16:03No. Donald Trump.
16:05Hey, how are you, guys? I can't do impressions.
16:08It's Greg Wallace.
16:10You want to eat your dinner?
16:11Come in at Parker Bowls.
16:14Good evening, everyone.
16:15See you in the Bustard!
16:17I can't do impressions.
16:24APPLAUSE
16:30Welcome back to Trustmaster, where the competitors are pushing the envelope.
16:35Oh, yes.
16:35They could do pretty much anything to impress Greg with this one,
16:38to extend the limits of what's possible.
16:40Or you could just pace about a bit with a letter in a wheelbarrow.
16:43Last up, it's Bubba and Andy.
16:46All right, how do I push this thing?
16:48I could make a bowl out of it.
16:50Look, it's a bowl.
16:52Someone get me milk and cereal.
16:54Are you talking to me?
16:56Yes.
17:01Right, you little paper monstrosity.
17:03Where is it, you pathetic little failed origami pigeon?
17:06I wouldn't lick you if you were the last envelope on Earth.
17:09Where is it?
17:10Tell me where it is!
17:12How do you make cereal?
17:13Do you put the milk...
17:13You look like you put the milk in first.
17:15Always milk first.
17:16How very dare you?
17:17Who does that?
17:21Want to talk now, my slightly crumpled friend?
17:27Answer the question!
17:28Answer the question!
17:33I think you should eat a little bit.
17:35Nah, my guy.
17:36I don't drink cow's milk.
17:37If I drink this, you will hear me in the toilet going,
17:40moo, you know what I'm saying?
17:41Like, I'll really be chewing up that toilet.
17:44Maybe this will make you talk.
17:46All right.
17:48You want to be next?
17:48Tell me what you know.
17:50Well, God help me.
17:50I will shred you.
17:51I will shred you.
17:54Last chance.
17:55I know you want to tell me.
17:56Talk.
17:59I knew it.
18:00I did it.
18:01I stole the life cast of Alex Horne.
18:03I shrank it, and I hid it in a wooden box under a cow.
18:07I knew you'd break eventually.
18:09Here comes the aeroplane.
18:10Yeah!
18:13Come on, come on!
18:14Nice, isn't it?
18:16Right.
18:21There it is.
18:23It's like he's been working out.
18:25Mystery solved.
18:26I'll push that envelope good and proper.
18:33Andy, very creative.
18:35Genuinely disturbing.
18:38Thanks.
18:38I just think this show is just revealing you to be just not the person everyone thought you were.
18:44It's just not revealing me to be not the person I thought I was, to be honest.
18:47From episode to episode, you're getting more and more terrified.
18:51It's very good, Andy.
18:53And quite the contrast, jumping from that, to Baba feeding cereal into your stupid face from an envelope.
19:01Can I just say something?
19:03I pushed the envelope to its limits.
19:05I made, I made it into a bowl.
19:08I mean, it doesn't matter how emphatically you take it.
19:13Do you scream nice, innit, into the face of your young children when you're feeding them?
19:23I do as well.
19:25LAUGHTER
19:29OK, but who pushed it the least far? Who pushed it the furthest?
19:33I feel like I'm... Do you feel like a bit picked on today?
19:36LAUGHTER
19:36I can't think how I'm going to not put you last when you did three cartwheels and then wrote me
19:40a letter asking how I was.
19:42LAUGHTER
19:44So it's one to Emma.
19:46Baba, two points.
19:47Two to you, Baba.
19:47Hmm.
19:48OK, I'm going to give Rosie three points.
19:50HE WANTS!
19:53Baba WANTS!
19:54LAUGHTER
19:55He walked three miles and his heart's not up to it.
19:59Three to Rosie.
20:00I'm going to be led by emotion, and the one that moved me the most emotionally was Jack.
20:05Pushing an envelope three miles.
20:07LAUGHTER
20:07So four points to Andy, five points.
20:09APPLAUSE
20:13Hey, hmm, let's have a scoreboard.
20:15All right, well, the team of two, Jack and Rosie, are in joint.
20:17Second with seven points, but in the lead, it's Andy Zaltzman with nine points.
20:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:25What's next, please, Horne?
20:27Well, we're off to a scare maze.
20:55Hiya!
20:58Hiya, Rosie.
21:04Hey, you look nice. Yes, bro. Come on, man. Look at that outfit, bro. I'll make this look good. I'm
21:09not going to lie to you, bro.
21:10I know. I'm the hottest hot dog you've ever seen in your life. I agree with you. Oh, you're still
21:14talking. Yeah, come on.
21:15So whatever you do on this task will be worth twice the number of points for you. See you in
21:19a minute.
21:24Bye-bye. Bye.
21:24There's a carrot on your back.
21:30Take a bite out of Alex's carrot. Alex's carrot? Is that a euphemism? Is that an actual carrot?
21:38Alex will ring his bell every ten seconds.
21:41You must laugh constantly throughout.
21:44No problem!
21:50You must both only walk at a gentle pace.
21:53No problem!
21:57Fastest wins!
22:05Fastest wins. The time starts now.
22:08I don't know.
22:08I don't know.
22:09I don't know.
22:36You actually did look quite good in the hot dog.
22:37Come on, bro. This is what I'm saying, bro.
22:40I should have brought it instead of the trainers.
22:42LAUGHTER
22:44We're going to start with a happy Jack and a rambling Rosie.
22:49HE SINGS
22:49HE SINGS
22:52HE SINGS
22:54HE SINGS
22:57HE SINGS
22:58HE SINGS
23:00HE SINGS
23:00HE SINGS
23:06HE SINGS
23:07HE SINGS
23:09HE SINGS
23:23Oh, you're not Alex, are you?
23:27HE SINGS
23:27HE SINGS
23:28HE SINGS
23:30HE SINGS
23:32HE SINGS
23:32HE SINGS
23:34HE SINGS
23:35HE SINGS
23:36It's not even on it.
24:31Oh, my God!
24:36Ha, ha, ha!
24:38Ha, ha, ha!
24:43Ha, ha, ha!
24:46Ha, ha, ha!
24:47Ha, ha, ha!
24:51Ha, ha, ha!
24:51Ha, ha, ha!
24:53Is that Alex?
24:55Yes, is that you, Jack?
24:56Yeah. Where's my way?
24:59Well, I know the way out.
25:00I will see you outside. Goodbye.
25:02No!
25:02No!
25:04Oh, bloody hell, Alex!
25:12Well, an absolute vision of hell in many ways,
25:15watching both of you go through that dystopian nightmare
25:18made so much worse by me realising for the first time
25:22that Rosie Jones has got Daddy written across her back.
25:27Of course I did!
25:29I felt she was relentless.
25:31Well, she was. Got me in 3 minutes 49.
25:33Oh, wow.
25:34Jack has the best laugh-to-carrot noise
25:37that I think we'll see tonight.
25:39He went, ha, ha, ha, ha!
25:40Oh, no!
25:433 minutes 26 for Jack.
25:44It was a pretty close race.
25:46Just over three minutes.
25:47Mm-hm. Lovely.
25:48Now it's time to get giddy with MSD.
25:50Uh-oh.
25:51Ha ha ha ha
25:56Ha ha
25:57Ha ha ha
25:58Ha ha ha
26:00Ha ha ha
26:02Ha ha
26:03Ha ha
26:04Ha ha
26:05Ha, ha, ha
26:13Alex!
26:15It's a doppelganger!
26:17Ha ha, ha, ha
26:19Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
26:22You bastard! Ha ha ha ha!
26:24Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
26:31Hee hee hee hee!
26:32Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
26:36Oh! There are two bells!
26:40Ha ha ha ha!
26:43Ah!
26:45Ah!
26:46Ha-ha-ha-ha!
26:54They're swapping bells.
26:57Swapping bells, you bastards!
26:59Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:00Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:02Me? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:04Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:08Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:14PHONE RINGS
27:20Hello, Emma.
27:23Really infuriating, that.
27:24Mm.
27:25That other bloke.
27:27Other bloke?
27:28No, I... I'm not doing that.
27:30No?
27:31Blinder.
27:32Bye-bye.
27:33APPLAUSE
27:36I wish more people would shut him down like that.
27:40No, I'm not doing that.
27:41It works a treat.
27:43I've clearly had enough, which really worries me.
27:46How long was that?
27:47It felt like a long time, and I felt like you went from someone
27:50doing quite a fun comedy laugh to someone who could kill.
27:56Yeah.
27:57And the tipping point for me was this.
27:58Ha-ha-ha-ha.
27:59He-he.
28:01All three of you walked 300 metres.
28:03They took three minutes.
28:04You took eight minutes.
28:05It could have been longer.
28:06I could have kept that going for hours, I think.
28:09LAUGHTER
28:10There was no way you were going to catch me.
28:12LAUGHTER
28:14Because...
28:15It's because she was going too slow.
28:17We will have fun.
28:18He-he-he-he-he.
28:20OK, time for another break.
28:21Hopefully there will be an overseas advert that has been
28:24badly dubbed in English so that the company could save money.
28:27Followed quickly, I hope, by a nuclear apocalypse.
28:30It's what we deserve.
28:33It's genuinely my birthday.
28:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:47Hello!
28:49Welcome back to Taskmaster, where the bellend's got a bell
28:53and he won't stop ringing it.
28:54LAUGHTER
28:56Yeah, I suppose that's true.
28:57Just two people to go, and one of them's dressed as a hot dog.
29:00It's Andy Zaltzman, and playing for double points,
29:02it's Babatunde Alesha.
29:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:05Ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:11LAUGHTER
29:12Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:23LAUGHTER
29:27LAUGHTER
29:30Ah! I got you.
29:32Yes, I got your talent, bro.
29:33I'll try it, bro.
29:35Yeah! I'm the man!
29:38I won, right?
29:58Oh
30:10Got it, but did it in 35 seconds, so
30:17So I mean you get four points, but Baba you get ten points
30:27Boy, I'm the man sure thing ding-a-ling get ready to check out my versatile new jacket
30:51Can I help no I'm on a turntable Jack mm-hmm spinning around
30:59Not really are you? You're turning round
31:04Oh look, feels a bit personal
31:09Pick the taskmaster's locket from its pocket
31:12Every time you pick an incorrect pocket, you must high-five Alex
31:17If you touch, temper with or peek into a pocket, you must pick it
31:21For you, it's pockets, pits, wounds
31:27You have a maximum of 15 minutes. Your time starts now
31:31May I touch you?
31:38Why are you spinning?
31:40It's just the setting
31:43Ugh, let's wind up
31:49Have you got a moment just to replay what I think might be the creepiest moment in Taskmaster history?
31:58Yeah, I think I know what you mean
32:00Yeah, I think I know what you mean
32:00Here it is
32:01May I touch you?
32:0618 series and I've never felt a shudder like it
32:11What is wrong with that?
32:15It's about consent
32:18Yeah
32:19It is about consent
32:22It is about consent
32:24Thank you
32:25Thank you
32:26First to locate the locket, it's Jack and Bubba
32:29OK, so I'm thinking there's going to be some sort of locket in one of those pockets
32:35Mm-hmm
32:36Yeah, yeah
32:38Is that the locket?
32:40No, it's lipstick
32:40Do I put it there?
32:41Yeah, I'll put it here
32:42What's this?
32:43Chinese five spice
32:45Chinese five spice
32:46There's nothing in there is other than that
32:52It's a bloody raisin
32:53OK, stop
32:56Bow!
32:57Found the locket yet?
32:58No, that's a dog biscuit
33:00OK
33:01What's in here?
33:01Nope
33:02It's the bloody locket
33:04Bow!
33:08You take a lot of stuff around with you, don't you?
33:11Yep
33:11109 pockets
33:12I can see
33:13Another locket
33:14Pick up yourself
33:16No, that's, that's, that's nothing else
33:18That's just a bag of
33:20That's my bag of yellow, yeah
33:21Bag of yellow
33:22Mm-hmm
33:23Fair enough
33:26Pick up yourself
33:29Don't trust sound people or makeup artists
33:33Mm-hmm
33:34That's a bit bad, isn't it?
33:35I trust sound people or makeup artists, why wouldn't you?
33:38You shouldn't
33:39Yeah, good advice, thank you
33:40Mm-hmm
33:41Not what we're after
33:42Right
33:43Keys
33:44Mm-hmm
33:44What do I open this with?
33:46Ah, this might be it
33:47No, it's a compass
33:49It's a compass with my name on it
33:51Babatunde
33:52Hey, it says my name on it, come on
33:53There's a picture of me
33:54Yeah, I've just got a couple of things with your names on it
33:58That's very thoughtful
34:00Oh, my days with this stupid-ass rocket, man
34:03Getting on my nerves
34:04Stone with Y written on it
34:06Oh
34:07These are starting to annoy me
34:08Rockets
34:09Too many of them
34:10Why have you got milk?
34:11Thirsty
34:12Yuck
34:13It's an I
34:14Mm-hmm
34:14So
34:16Yeah
34:17Hey
34:19Pick the locket from the pocket
34:22That's the padlock
34:23Oh, for goodness sake, it's a man out one
34:25What the hell?
34:26Oh
34:26Five and a half minutes left
34:28I find this locket
34:28Left
34:29No, the pebble
34:30So it spells you
34:31Right
34:31I don't think that's got any relevance
34:34Right, okay
34:35Yeah
34:35I found the other eye though
34:36Ah
34:37There you go
34:42The locket is in your pocket
34:44The locket is in your pocket
34:45No it ain't
34:46I'm gonna lock it in my pocket
34:51Ha ha ha
34:56There you are
34:57You got the locket
34:58Yeah, how do you do that?
34:59You're like David Copperfield now, are you?
35:02And there's a piece of hair in there as well
35:03Yeah, I got my own hair
35:04That's, that's, okay
35:05Well, I should treasure that
35:12I mean, neither of you thought there might be a faster way of doing this
35:16Just went route one
35:17How are we supposed to know that there was a locket in our pocket?
35:20I realised after this because someone took my jacket to do something and I should have
35:24Yeah
35:25You know, trustingly, I said, yeah, of course, thank you
35:27I thanked them
35:28I thanked them
35:30Do you want to know how many pockets they picked?
35:31Yes, please
35:32Baba Tunde, 41 incorrect pockets
35:35Jack, 70
35:38Would you like to see Rosie Jones' Locket Adventure?
35:41Let's go
35:41Rosie Jones
35:42I don't think it's in this
35:47Cos that would be obvious
35:53Who can I pick that one?
35:59Don't trust sound people
36:02Or makeup artists
36:05Well, you don't need to tell me that
36:10They've got pieces of shit
36:14Is it in your pocket?
36:19You said no
36:21But I don't trust you
36:32Yeah
36:33You guys want it?
36:33Yeah
36:34Right
36:34You guys want it?
36:39Oh, is it on me?
36:44Oh, my God
36:47Oh, my God
36:51You sneaky bugger
36:56Well done, Rosie
36:57Don't trust anyone
37:06I just want to make it clear
37:08That when Rosie was told not to trust sound and lighting people
37:13She said and I quote
37:14You don't need to tell me that
37:16They're all pieces of shit
37:17I mean it
37:25And you then went on
37:27To blatantly steal money from a sound man's wife
37:31Yes, Neil was lying to me
37:36At least they could do was Robin
37:43He wasn't lying to me
37:44Of course
37:44He was fast
37:45Surely
37:46Well, it's all about the number of pockets picked
37:48Yes
37:48Five of Neil's, five of her own
37:49Three of mine
37:50So 13 in total
37:5213 in total
37:5313 in total
37:55We're stopping again
37:56One part left to go
37:57And at the end of it
37:58Someone will stroll proudly out of the studio
38:01Carrying a sculpture of a cherub
38:03Wearing sunglasses
38:04And a painting of a banged up donkey
38:06This isn't a cheese dream
38:08We're all being paid for this
38:11We'll see you in part four
38:25Welcome back
38:26It's part four
38:27And Alex has a stupid jacket on
38:29It's not stupid actually
38:31You're stupid
38:32Lee attractive
38:36Yes, I...
38:37They have to find the locket by picking the fewest pockets possible
38:40Two left, it's Andy and Emma
38:44OK, I'm just going to take a second
38:49The Taskmaster's locket
38:51Doesn't necessarily, it's one of your pockets though, is it?
38:53Are there clues in your pockets?
38:55All I do is spin round
38:56OK
38:58So there's bits of paper in some of these pockets by the looks of it
39:00Are you peeking?
39:02Overviewing
39:02Peeking is...
39:04That's a specific pocket I'd say
39:06All right
39:14Well, some action
39:16There's a great big statue of the Taskmaster outside
39:20Can that count as a locket?
39:21It's not a locket and it wasn't in a pocket Andy
39:24OK, I think I'm going to have to pick a pocket
39:27Excuse me
39:29So that appears to be Richard Herring on a red fish
39:35Half your time gone
39:39Chinese five spice
39:40Yeah, it's the spice for me
39:43Right, I need an alternative pocket again
39:45How many minutes have I got left?
39:46Four and a half
39:46Four and a half, OK, I'll use it wisely
39:52You've got three minutes Andy
39:57Right, I found a pineapple and some string
39:59Was it in the pocket?
40:00Well not yet, but I could put it in a pocket
40:02From that one
40:03Jack, two points for you
40:05Three to Bubba
40:05Four to Rosie
40:06But five
40:07To Emma City
40:08Congratulations
40:11You
40:12Let's see the scoreboard
40:13Yes please
40:13Well I think the hot dog helped
40:14Bubba's on the top with 17 points
40:20Right everyone
40:21Will you please make your way to the stage
40:22For the final task of the show
40:30Who will be reading the task of the full of a nuts Bubba?
40:34OK
40:36Gather a herd of animals with exactly 22 legs
40:41You may not harm any animals
40:44You may only use animals on either side of this wall
40:49And you may not use each other
40:51On Alex's whistle
40:53You must hurl one of your herd over the wall
40:57When your herd has 22 legs
41:00Only then may you don your tutus
41:02First team in tutus wins
41:04Each of them have six animals on their bench
41:08And that's where the herd lives
41:10You've got a flamingo with one leg
41:12A kangaroo with two
41:13A sick dog with three legs
41:15Patatas the cat with four legs
41:17A monster there with
41:18You've got to throw something every 15 seconds
41:21That's when I'll blow the whistle
41:22If you don't do the maths correctly within the 15 seconds
41:25And another animal comes over
41:26And you've missed the tutu opportunity
41:27It carries on
41:28Got it
41:29Good luck
41:30Choose your animals
41:31We're going for three
41:32OK, well, maybe don't say it out
41:37Pick up an animal, get ready to throw
41:39You're going to be throwing on the whistle
41:40Three, two, one
41:42BUZZ
41:42Lovely
41:43Put that on the bench
41:45That's 22
41:47BUZZ
41:49BUZZ
41:52BUZZ
41:53BUZZ
41:53BUZZ
41:53BUZZ
41:53Toss complete
41:54Done
41:59BUZZ
42:00Wow, they did it
42:02Well, not many people would be brave enough to say it
42:04I will
42:05The show's been great
42:06That was rubbish
42:10Come down here, we'll add that to the final score
42:13APPLAUSE
42:18What a glorious anticlimactic
42:21Maybe one of my favourite tasks ever
42:25It's really made the scoreboard interesting
42:27Because a team of three gets five points each for that
42:29The team of two
42:30Zero
42:31Aw
42:32And the winner is
42:34BUZZ BUZZ
42:3522 points
42:36mare GUID
42:37Yes!
42:38Yes!
42:39Yes!
42:41The show wins! Please, bowl up to brandish your badass belongings!
42:50So, what have we learnt from today's show?
42:53We've learnt that Taskmaster, it's a silly old show, really,
42:56but at times it has the capacity to move.
42:59The haunting image of Jack Dee strolling heroically into the sunset,
43:04his destination unknown, pushing that envelope,
43:07will forever be etched on all of our minds.
43:11And let's also not forget Baba's nuts on a pillow.
43:15And here he is again tonight, cos he's the winner,
43:19it's Babatunde Alessi!
43:42The End
43:45The End
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