- 2 days ago
Esp El Collar Rojo
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00:05my mom called me a liar from the day i was born not because i actually lied but because of
00:10this
00:10thing around my neck the verity choker mom was luna of silver moon pack and she believed one
00:15thing above all lying was the mark of a weak wolf we were her daughters future alpha heirs
00:21weakness was not an option so when my twin sister emma and i were born mom clasped these chokers
00:27around our throats which had witch magic to detect lies green light means truth red light means you
00:33were lying emma's choker always green she could shred mom's ceremonial cloak and blame the cat
00:39and gem would glow a steady green not me green light believed me mom i'm hungry and flash red
00:49light the choker choked tight i shifted on instinct a small white wolf pawing desperately at the gem
00:55around my neck claws scraping against it unable to get it off i'm not lying not lying please but mom's
01:03eyes had already gone cold instant punishment mom's punishment wasn't gentle no food locked in my room
01:09no contact with anyone in the pack the truth necklace doesn't lie stella starve now study later
01:16i'm doing this for your own good after 10 years of this i started believing it too maybe i really
01:22was
01:23born wrong new year's eve everything changed mom was getting ready to take emma to the pack's bonfire
01:29celebration and that's when the pain hit like a knife twisting in my gut i collapsed on the floor
01:34my skeletal frame curling into itself mom please the choker flashed red and choked tight she looked down at
01:43me disgusted in her eyes in your dream stella faking an illness to ruin our night she grabbed emma's hand
01:51and headed for the door i wanted to howl but my wolf was too weak to answer i shifted anyway
01:57forced it
01:58a small white wolf trembling on the floor ribs heaving maybe in this form the pain would hurt less
02:04it didn't i couldn't even hold the shift i slipped back into myself without meaning to sorry mom i won't
02:11lie
02:11anymore but the pain got worse way worse the door handle turned for one second i thought mom's coming
02:17back she came back for me hurry up the bonfire is starting emma's waiting mom i reached out with a
02:26shaking hand please something's really wrong i feel like i'm dying she glanced at my neck the gem was
02:32flashing red over and over she crouched down grabbed my chin stella how long are you gonna keep this up
02:40can't you just be honest and stay here and think about what you've done dad appeared in the doorway
02:47honey should we at least leave her some food food she has a stash of snacks she bought with stolen
02:53money she won't starve lock the door when that gem turns green we'll talk but but what it's because
03:03you spoil her that she turned out this way look at emma her gem has always been green
03:10stella is a liar an alpha heiress who can't tell the truth she needs discipline but my cabinet was empty
03:16emma stole that money emma ate those snacks emma just stood there with her glowing green gem saying
03:24not me and mom believed her i tried to defend myself it wasn't me red light the choker choked tight
03:32i tried to shift nothing happened deep inside my wolf barely stirred mom locked me up for three days
03:40with nothing but water and stale bread mom turned to leave emma peeked through the door made a face at
03:46me bye sis we're gonna see the bonfire her gem glowed a steady green so pretty the door locked
03:54the house went silent i called my wolf nothing came back not even a whisper just me alone the pain
04:03was unbearable but i kept thinking mom's right the gem doesn't lie it's red so i must be lying
04:12i'm not in pain i'm not in pain i'm not in pain i kept repeating it like a prayer eventually
04:22i almost
04:23believed it the pain dulled or maybe i was just going numb i crawled to my desk i had to
04:30write that
04:31was the rule if the gem glowed red i had to pen a thousand word apology or mom would never
04:38let me out
04:39i am a liar write it down and maybe mom would forgive me maybe she'd even let me out i
04:47opened my journal
04:48pages and pages of apologies i'd written over the years sorry i lied i won't do it again but this
04:56time
04:56i wanted to write the truth my vision blurred my hand shook as i wrote mom i really love you
05:04it really hurts why won't you believe me please believe me just once the moment i finished the last
05:13word the pain vanished just gone i felt light weightless i looked down i was floating and there
05:23slumped over the desk was my body motionless the gem still flashing red around a dead girl's neck
05:30oh i'm dead and then she came out my wolf stepping out of my body like she'd been waiting all
05:39along
05:39small skinny barely holding together she looked up at me and once soft and low in the pack's old
05:49stories they say when a wolf dies young her spirit doesn't cross over alone her wolf walks beside her
05:56until they find the door together i knelt down she pressed her nose into my ghostly palm
06:02finally we were together now but i never learned how to be honest sorry mom i heard laughter mom dad
06:11emma coming through the front door tonight's bonfire was beautiful the best one yet just like our emma
06:20perfect in every way i'd never heard her sound like that when she talked about me i floated toward
06:26them my wolf patting silently at my side moving on instinct i wanted to help them take off their
06:32cloaks that's what i always did mom my arms passed right through her body like wind why is it so
06:40cold
06:40here is the hearthi out i stood there staring at my transparent hands my wolf pressed against my leg
06:47and looked up at me with sad eyes right dead wolves couldn't hug the living shall we go and see
06:53stella she hasn't eaten yet still the good cop i looked at mom hopefully if she found me dead would
07:01she be sad would she regret it she won't starve she is a werewolf not a human pup this whole
07:10fake sick
07:10for attention thing is out of control i laughed bitterly mom wasn't wrong werewolves heal but i
07:18hadn't been able to in a long time last winter the choker left bruises that stayed for days that hadn't
07:24happened before i reached for my wolf she was still there but the warmth never came she was too hungry
07:31just like me mom never noticed she only ever looked at my neck for one thing the gem and whether
07:40it was red or green mom pushed open my door didn't even turn on the light just for a second
07:46her eyes flashed gold her wolf might have known mom didn't listen in the dim glow from the hallway
07:52she saw me slumped over my desk i looked like a skeleton hadn't moved still putting on an act
08:00you're 10 years old not five grow up mom i'm not playing i'm dead look at me touch me i'm
08:09freezing
08:09she couldn't hear me she only believed what she wanted to see emma squeezed past her held up her
08:16choker with that smug little grin look my gem is green stella's is still red she's lying even in her
08:24sleep that's my good girl ignore the liar let her stay there maybe she'll learn how to be honest
08:31should we at least put her in bed it's freezing put her in bed look at that red gem still
08:38lying
08:39come on leave her we have to visit grandma tomorrow the door locked again i floated next to my corpse
08:47my wolf curled silently at my feet staring at that single point of red light in the darkness
08:52mom if you just stepped closer if you just touched my hand you'd know i was ice cold but you
08:59didn't
08:59you believed the choker not the daughter you carried for nine months that night a rat crawled out of my
09:06empty cabinet i used to scream whenever i saw rats but now i just floated by the ceiling watching it
09:12scurry across my dead body the rat bit into my toe i didn't feel anything my wolf charged at it
09:19anyway
09:19and passed right through landing on the other side she turned back to look at me confused lost i pulled
09:28her close and buried my face in the fur of her back it's okay you can't feel it anymore it'll
09:34be over soon
09:35she let out one low growl then went still against me finally no more pain for either of us the
09:43next
09:43morning sunlight streamed through the window no warmth reached my body in the kitchen i could hear mom
09:50making breakfast the smell of roasted meat crept under my door my favorite but mom always said liars don't
09:57deserve meat so i only ever got steamed vegetables she was clanging the pots extra loud on purpose
10:03trying to tempt me out trying to make me give in and apologize for things i never did in the
10:09old days
10:10i might have caved i might have confessed to anything for one bite of roasted meat but i don't need
10:16food
10:16anymore stella still hasn't come out yet dad asked reading the pack notices she is so stubborn she can
10:24eat or not i don't care emma walked to my door and made a big show of sniffing the air
10:32then she screamed dramatically mom stella's room smells like poop did she poop in there i floated by the door
10:41watching my sister with a bitter smile my wolf sat beside me ears flat eyes low the hearth was burning
10:49hot after just one night my body started to rot mom stormed over pounding on the door
10:56stella who does that the toilet is right there did you shit on the floor to spite me i remembered
11:04being
11:04six i had food poisoning couldn't make it to the toilet in time mom didn't help me clean up she
11:12made
11:12me stand outside pointed at me and told the neighbors look at this she's such a mess she can't
11:19even use the toilet herself now she thought i was dirty again leave her let her sit in her own
11:24stink
11:26but dad stood up frowning that smells really bad i should check could it be a dead rat or something
11:34my heart if i still had one leapt dad please open the door i'm right here just turn the handle
11:42and
11:42you'll see i'm not moving i waved my transparent arms frantically my wolf ran straight to my bedroom
11:49door willing dad to open it dad's hand touched the door handle his hand froze someone was pounding at
11:56the front door a pack elder urgent business dad's face went pale he grabbed his cloak
12:01the border there's an emergency he was already out the door i froze so close one second away
12:09if that knock had come one second later i would have been found maybe then i wouldn't have rotted
12:14alone that afternoon mom took emma to the pack market the house was empty except for my corpse when
12:20they came back that evening loaded down with food and gifts from the market the smell had gotten worse
12:24mom gagged the second she walked in stella are you trying to turn this place into a den of
12:31inequity she didn't even open my door just grabbed cloth strips and sealed the gap at the bottom if
12:36you want to stay in there and make disgusting stew zoos don't stink up my house she patted her hands
12:41together satisfied then went to prepare dinner i stared at that sealed door my wolf pressed her nose
12:47against it and whimpered once so that's it i'm worth less than a venison dinner by day three even the
12:52cloth strips couldn't contain the smell mom was arranging fresh wildflowers trying to cover it up
12:57but the stench of death is unmistakable sweet rotten oily she cut a rose stem too hard a thorn pierced
13:05her
13:05hand she snapped in her mind i was doing this on purpose not bathing poop on the floor hiding dead
13:12rats in my room all to piss her off all to defy her authority as luna stella she grabbed a
13:19rolling pin
13:19from the kitchen stormed toward my room i'm done with you you disgusting little brat time you learned
13:26what real pain feels like i floated in front of her waving my arms desperately don't come in mom
13:33please please even though she never loved me i didn't want her to see me like that but she walked
13:40right through me ripped the cloth strips off jammed the spare key into the lock the door flew open the
13:46smell hit her like a wall she stumbled back retching stella what are you doing she saw me
13:53still slumped over the desk back turned not moving to her this was the ultimate rebellion
13:58i'm talking to you she marched over raised the rolling pin but stopped she wanted to see my face
14:05first wanted to see my get up she grabbed the back of my shirt grabbed my skin the moment she
14:12touched
14:12me she froze through the thin fabric her hand didn't feel warm flesh she felt cold hard dead
14:18meat the kind of cold that seeps into your bones what but momentum carried her forward she yanked
14:25crash my body stiff as a board toppled backward taking the chair with it and there was my face
14:31blue black eyes bulging features twisted in agony dried foam and blood crusted around my mouth
14:37around my blackened neck the verity choker hung lifeless the gem dark no red no green just silence
14:45my journal slid off the desk fell open at mom's feet the last page stared up at her mom my
14:52stomach
14:52really hurts the choker is wrong i'm not lying please don't punish me mom screamed not a wolf's
14:59howl a raw guttural shriek that tore through her throat she stumbled backward slammed into the bookshelf
15:06a clay pot shattered but she didn't seem to feel the pain she just stared at me eyes wide unblinking
15:16no no no no this is not real stella get up stella get up i'm not mad anymore stop scaring
15:25me
15:26her hand reached out trembling to touch my arm the second her skin made contact with my corpse
15:32she recoiled like she'd been burned that cold was too real lisa from next door heard the screaming and
15:40went straight to the pack healer when she saw what was in my room she collapsed in the gate
15:45within the hour heavy boots on the floorboards the pack healer and a handful of pack warriors
15:51crowding the entrance mom sat on the floor a warrior's hand on her shoulder she's speaking it
15:57she's always lying it doesn't lie i'm just teaching her no one responded they all looked at her like
16:06she was a monster the pack healer crouched next to my body he muttered under his breath severe
16:12malnutrition organ failure this puppy has been starved for at least a month he carefully tried to
16:19remove the verity choker but it had fused years of tightening had pressed the leather deep into the
16:25skin of my neck damn it he had to use tools to pry it off even dead my soul flinched
16:32my wolf lifted her
16:33head and long raw desperate the kind of howl that should have shaken the walls no one heard it no
16:43one
16:43flinched we were already dead a warrior picked up my journal started reading his face went from
16:49neutral to horrified mom's eyes locked onto that book that's her confession she admits she lied look
16:57she wrote it herself the warrior pushed her back wrapped the journal in cloth and took it will report
17:06it to the council that's when dad got home he saw the pack healer and the pack warriors crowding the
17:12doorway
17:13saw the body wrap being carried out saw the long cord that sealed away my entire life his legs gave
17:22out he collapsed on the doorstep emma stood nearby sobbing in confusion she pointed at the discolored
17:29verity choker on the table why does stella have a black collar and i have a green one see she
17:36held up
17:36her neck the gem blinked its steady green it was grotesque the council elders arrive
17:43before dawn mom straightened when she saw them even now even with my body three days cold and rotting
17:50her luna instincts kicked in she lifted her chin squared her shoulders it didn't work today they
17:57started questioning mom in the living room mom grabbed the verity choker off the table like it was
18:03a lifeline test it that choker proved she was lying red gem means lie i never abused her the choker
18:13told me
18:15i was just educating her the council elders looked at her like she'd lost her mind
18:20the pup showed signs of extreme malnutrition months of starvation aphelion multiple old injuries
18:29consistent with prolonged that's just discipline that's teaching her to be honest then she did
18:36something insane you don't believe me fine i'll wear it watch it'll be green the leather pressed against
18:48her skin cold sticky that was my blood she took a deep breath tried to calm herself she needed to
18:56prove she was innocent needed to prove her way of raising an alpha heir was right she held up the
19:02gem
19:03eyes wild listen i'm rachel i'm stella's mother this is the truth the absolute truth the gem flashed red
19:14mom's confident expression shattered
19:17i said truth i am rachel i never abused her i did it for her own good
19:27i love her and suddenly she remembered me ten years old gasping as the choker tightened around my
19:36throat biting my lip so i wouldn't make a sound is this what it felt like why is it red
19:43i am telling
19:44the truth turn green you're broken you're setting me up but the gem kept flashing like it was mocking her
19:52you're a liar you're a liar you're a liar enough this is just a bloodstone i've seen it before it
20:02changes color with body heat fear pain anything that makes your heart race temperature rises it burns
20:10red that's all it does no witch magic never was think about your daughter ruptured appendix organ
20:20failure the pain must have been unbearable she was terrified and what did you see a red gem so you
20:28punished her more which made her more scared which made her temperature rise which made the stone turn
20:37redder you are luna you are supposed to protect every wolf in this pack you couldn't even protect your
20:46own daughter you ignored her cries for help you starved your daughter to death mom's world collapsed
20:54she sat there staring at the flashing gem on her own net and finally understood for 10 years every red
21:02light wasn't because i was lying it was because i was scared scared of her anger scared of being
21:10misunderstood scared of eating food that made me sick i was in pain pain that made my heart race
21:17and cold sweat pour down my face i was desperate desperate for a hug for her to hold me the
21:24way she
21:24held emma every signal from my frightened heart she had interpreted as proof of my lies
21:31no get it off
21:36i'm not lying i'm not she tried to shift fur rippling across her skin bones cracking but the leather
21:44cinched harder around her throat the moment her neck needed to change she snapped back into human form
21:51gasping i can't get it off stella take it back i'm sorry it's all my fault this little bit of
22:00choking
22:01and she was already breaking mom i suffered for 10 years the council elders needed evidence for judgment
22:10so they opened my journal in front of my parents february 14th sunny mom put celery on my plate i'm
22:18allergic my throat swells i can't breathe i said i can't eat it but because i was scared of making
22:25her
22:25angry my body ran hot the gem flashed red the choker tightened mom said i was picky lying made me
22:35eat the
22:36whole plate that night i threw up blood my throat felt like it was on fire i shifted to ease
22:43my pain
22:43mom saw it and said i'd snuck berry juice that i was faking the choker tightened for 10 more minutes
22:52mom's hand flew to her mouth she was shaking violently she remembered that she really did think it was berry
23:00juice
23:00she didn't even look closely just turned away to read emma a bedtime story that was blood from a
23:08swollen torn throat june 1st pup's day emma shredded mom's ceremonial cloak emma's heart is always calm
23:17her gem stays green i tried to explain but i was scared of being hit my body ran hot red
23:25gem choker tightened for
23:2710 minutes it hurt so bad but i didn't cry because crying makes your body run hotter and mom thinks
23:35that means you're not sorry so i held my breath pretended it didn't hurt mom said see she doesn't
23:44even blink she's definitely faking it dad couldn't take it anymore this man who had always put the pack
23:50before his own family chose duty over his daughter for 10 years you monster what did you do that was
23:59your
23:59daughter you treated her like a stray blood at the corner of her mouth not my fault not my fault
24:07it's her
24:08it's emma emma's gem was always green emma was a good one if it wasn't for that green light making
24:15me trust her
24:16i wouldn't have believed the red light so much this is emma's fault that little princess everyone
24:22had protected one of the council elders walked over gently removed the green verity choker from her neck
24:29took out a blade pried the gem loose right there it rolled onto the table still glowing green steady
24:38unchanged the elder picked up the stone a glowstone that is all your younger daughter's choker
24:45was always going to shine green no matter what she said did or lied about it would never change
24:54your so-called verity choker was a fraud that was her truth for 10 years that was the evidence she
25:02used
25:02to convict me a common glowstone that put me in hell while emma lived in paradise so i wasn't a
25:09liar
25:09i laughed laughed until i cried turns out ghosts could cry too the elder turned to the last page
25:17of the journal his voice broke the handwriting was a mess clearly written while dying mom if i die will
25:25the choker stop glowing red or if it turns green will you hug me then i'm not lying i couldn't
25:31heal myself
25:32anymore my stomach hurts so much like knives next life please don't make me wear the choker please
25:40i just want to be a normal pup i want to eat mom's roasted meat mom stared at the broken
25:46glowstone on
25:47the table that truth magic she trusted without question a worthless stone because of that stone
25:53she spoiled emma for 10 years because of that cursed red light she tortured me for 10 years
26:03mom started laughing her voice cracking in every sound worse than crying fake all fake
26:14i killed my most honest pup and i worshipped a liar she'd lost her mind for real this time my
26:23death
26:24became the talk of the entire pack lisa the neighbor who had sent for the pack healer told everyone what
26:30she'd seen every wolf knew by morning luna had starved her own daughter to death monster murderer
26:39she doesn't deserve to be luna stones flew at our door the word killer carved into the wall the council
26:47convened within the day the verdict was swift dad lost his alpha title no wolf would follow him now my
26:55grandfather the former alpha read out the judgment himself he didn't look at his son once dad walked out
27:02of the council hall and never looked back he took emma and left the pack that same night emma was
27:09a bad seed sure but she was still his blood before they left emma tried to take her green choker
27:15dad
27:16stomped on it why the hell would you want that piece of trash emma cried as he dragged her away
27:22mom got out of the dungeon the healer said she had lost her mind the council locked her in the
27:28home
27:28instead the one that still smelled like death her mental state deteriorated fast she refused to take
27:35off the red choker she would tighten it herself whenever the guilt got too heavy she said choking
27:41was the only thing that eased it it was her self-imposed punishment i floated in the darkness
27:46my wolf curled beside me watching her unravel day after day she'd talk to the empty corner where i used
27:53to stand stella i brought you some food no celery today it's all roast just how you like it but
28:01there
28:01was no food there was nothing just her hands cupped around air she'd pretend to set a plate down her
28:08hands shook the gem flashed red she was anxious guilty falling apart she smiled but her eyes were empty
28:17the gem is red mom is lying liars don't deserve food she pulled the choker tight with her own hands
28:25let it choke her her body convulsed against the cold floor it hurts so much is this how stella felt
28:33i'm sorry mom started reenacting my diary entries i couldn't eat celery because of my allergy so she
28:42forced herself to eat spoiled food until she vomited blood then swallowed it back down i was locked in
28:49isolation so she locked herself in my old room lights off and bowed to my portrait until her forehead
28:56bled over and over blood on the floor late at night she'd see the red glow of the bloodstone reflected
29:04on
29:05the wall to her it looked like my bloody eyes were watching she kept punishing herself the wounds
29:12healed slower and slower her wolf exhausted by months of self-torture slowly fell into a deep
29:19sleep mom didn't care she scrawled on the back of my journal i'm sorry i was wrong red means pain
29:27red means love please come back and say it hurts hurts one more time i'll save you i promise too
29:35bad
29:35i'm dead dead wolves can't cry for help eventually the new alpha intervened mom's self-harm had gone too
29:43far she'd nearly choked herself to death with her own hands he ordered her to move to a small hut
29:49at
29:49the far edge of the village locked from the outside someone posted to watch her day and night she was
29:56the strangest woman they'd ever seen nobody knew where she'd found it a frayed red cord tied around her own
30:03neck her homemade choker if anyone tried to remove it she'd snap at them teeth bared snarling wild-eyed
30:12don't touch me stella's watching she'll be angry if you take it every time the guard called her name
30:20and brought her food mom would grab the red cord and pull it tight against her own throat convulsing
30:26screaming red light red light don't punish punish me i'll eat i'll eat even if the food was scalding
30:36hot she'd gulp it down burning her throat wouldn't spit it out she was reenacting my final moments
30:43living my hell on repeat years later emma grew up without guidance and with a trail of shame behind her
30:50she drifted from pack to pack stealing to survive no one would take her in when she ran out of
30:57options
30:57she remembered mom was still alive she slipped back into the silverman pack under the cover of night
31:04not for love for money hey crazy lady dad's dead give me whatever you've been hiding emma stood there
31:14face hard eyes full of contempt she looked at mom's hollow broken form and spat on the floor it's
31:22disgusting give me what i want or i'll send you to meet your daughter for a moment mom's cloudy eyes
31:29cleared she looked at emma and suddenly remembered that choker that always green glowstone that decade of
31:38deception it's you you lie you're the green light that wasn't there you killed stella give her back
31:47to me give her back to me the last shred of maternal love twisted into something feral mom lunged grabbed
31:56emma by the throat should have died not her you emma thrashed but couldn't break free from a mad woman's
32:06grip the guards rushed in pulled her off emma stumbled out of the hut terrified they're all insane
32:14she bolted into the forest she didn't get far rogues the kind that haunted the borderlands
32:21preying on anyone foolish enough to run through the trees alone at night emma never saw them coming
32:27by the time she did it was too late she survived barely both legs shattered beyond repair
32:34she'd never walk again meanwhile mom was strapped to her cot staring at the ceiling tears streaming in
32:43her dreams she finally saw me i was 10 again no choker white dress smiling mom she reached for me
32:52crying
32:52with joy stella but the moment her hands touched me i burst into ash no she woke up screaming if
33:02she'd been
33:02wearing that choker it would have been blood red eternal torment i stood in the void watching it all
33:09mom strapped to her bed emma in a wheelchair begging on the market dad drunk and dead in some gutter
33:16i felt nothing no satisfaction just a flat dead calm my wolf padded over quietly she didn't howl didn't
33:26nudge just pressed her head against my hand and held it there in the distance a door of light appeared
33:32soft steady waiting i looked at my wolf she looked at me yeah time to leave this life was too
33:41bitter
33:41nothing worth holding on to i floated to mom's hut one final time she looked ancient hair completely white
33:48frail as paper she sent something her cloudy eyes focused on a point in the air right where i stood
33:54stella
33:55is that you her trembling hand reached into the emptiness mom destroyed the choker i don't believe
34:01in it anymore come back please i'll cook for you no salary i'll buy you new dresses not emma tears
34:08rolled down her face i looked at the red marks on her neck from the frayed cord i i reached
34:13out my cold
34:14ghostly finger touched her forehead this was my final mercy sleep mom in sleep there's no pain her eyes
34:22fluttered shut she slumped into a deep dreamless rest a breeze blew through the hut the old journal
34:28on her cot flipped open the last page my dying words stared up at the ceiling but below it in
34:35shaky
34:35handwriting were new lines written by mom during a lucid moment next life let me wear the choker let me
34:42be
34:42the liar punish me however you want just don't leave me i stared at those words felt nothing too late
34:49repentance means nothing to the dead mom i don't hate you anymore but i don't love you either let's
34:56not meet again i turned away my wolf was waiting in the distance the door of light still glowed soft
35:02steady patient i looked at my neck the phantom verity choker still there even in spirit form the nightmare
35:09that had changed me for a lifetime i grabbed it it shattered into nothing i felt weightless free no red
35:16light no hunger no lies just freedom my wolf pressed against my side together we walked toward the light
35:23i didn't look back morning came a guard pushed open the door rachel time to eat no response she walked
35:29closer mom's hand clutched the torn journal a single tear crystallized at the corner of her eye
35:35she crouched beside her held two fingers beneath her nose nothing she was gone passing through the door
35:41wasn't violent no spinning no chaos just warmth like sinking into a spring stream i looked to my side
35:48my wolf was gone i didn't panic i pressed my hand to my chest and there she was steady warm
35:54then i heard
35:55her voice not a whimper not a whine clear and bright and full of life like the first time we
36:01met run i
36:03shifted four paws hit the ground and i ran through forests that smelled of pine and rain through cold shallow
36:09streams that splashed silver around my legs through meadows i had never seen but somehow knew my white
36:15fur caught the light my paws were sure my lungs were full my body was strong no choker around my
36:23throat no
36:24red light no hunger the lingering ache in my soul the phantom pain of 10 years started to fade with
36:31every
36:31step i ran toward brightness behind me old life dissolved like a worn photograph left out in the rain
36:38mom's final tear the red glow of the choker blood on the journal pages gone i didn't look back that
36:4510-year nightmare was finally truly over when i opened my eyes again i was tiny wrapped in soft blankets
36:53someone was humming a woman's voice gentle off key but full of love her fingers brushed my cheek
37:03the scent of wild flowers not the cold clinical distance of my old mother not the silence of
37:10someone who only touched me to punish i blinked up at her she had kind eyes a soft smile she
37:17cradled me
37:18like i was made of glass grace is awake honey come quick our daughter just opened her eyes a man
37:26appeared
37:26tall a little awkward but his face lit up when he saw me he touched my tiny hand with one
37:33finger his
37:34voice was deep warm hey grace i'm your dad grace not stella no weight no chains no red light just
37:46grace
37:47a name that meant something light something cherished this house was small but warm full of light cartoon
37:55painting on the walls flowers by the window sunlight pouring through the windows warm on the floor i realized
38:02fast this family was nothing like the last one they never forced me to do anything there were no chokers
38:09no red lights no punishments for things i hadn't done i grew learned to crawl to talk and when i
38:18was
38:18three mom made a stew with celery the green stalks in the bowl triggered me i flashed back to choking
38:25throat swelling vomiting blood i stumbled backwards shaking tears came without permission mom immediately
38:33put down her spoon crouched pulled me into a hug grace what's wrong you don't like celery i couldn't speak
38:42just shook my head sobbing dad knelt too rubbed my back hey it's okay you don't have to eat it
38:49can you
38:50tell us why their eyes were patient gentle finally i choked out it hurts my throat makes me bleed they
39:00didn't
39:00say the verity choker doesn't lie they didn't accuse me of faking they took me to the pack healer
39:07immediately turns out i really do have a celery allergy after that celery never appeared in the
39:13house again mom added it to her market list grace's allergies celery she checked every time she shopped
39:21i lay in her arms that night smelling wild flowers and realized this is what it feels like to be
39:28believed
39:28love isn't measured by a stone it's listening even when the story sounds impossible when i was four
39:35dad took me to the pack healer for my first health check there was a blood draw i saw the
39:40needle and lost
39:41it flashes of the choker tightening around my throat flashes of starvation i screamed clung to dad's leg
39:49the healer sighed i couldn't stop shaking don't punish me i'm not lying dad immediately scooped me
39:58up sorry she's not ready we'll come back another time on the walk home dad didn't scold me for being
40:03weak he just asked gently grace did someone hurt you before i buried my face in his shoulder tears
40:12soaking his shirt mom joker red light i couldn't explain it clearly but he listened nodded it's okay
40:22dad's here now no one's ever hurting you again from then on they took me to the pack healer regularly
40:29not for blood draws just to talk she has been hurt be patient with her my parents never complained never
40:38made me feel like a burden they bought me a colorful necklace but never forced me to wear it this
40:43is
40:43just a pretty thing grace wear it if you want take it off if you don't we'll love you either
40:49way
40:49slowly i started to heal i could say i don't like this without fear i could say i'm scared i
40:57could say
40:58i want that i didn't have to worry about my heart racing being proof of a lie i started sharing
41:04my
41:04stories with them i cried when i didn't get a toy i laughed when i got praise i was finally
41:11just a pup
41:12a normal loved pup when i turned seven i started at the pack school there was a girl in my
41:18class
41:19annie sullivan she looked exactly like emma same eyes but her hair was shorter and she was timid scared
41:29the first time i saw her my heart clenched flashbacks emma's smug grin the green light mocking me
41:37i stepped back instinctively annie noticed she looked down voice barely a whisper i'm annie
41:46do you want to be friends her tone was so careful so desperate to please just like i used to
41:52be i glanced
41:54at her neck she wore a simple choker with green gem my stomach turned later i found out annie's mom
42:01was strict too demanded honesty locked her in her room without food when she made mistakes one day
42:09annie accidentally knocked over the teacher's ink pot she was trembling too scared to admit it i saw her
42:15face red rimmed eyes barely holding back tears i remembered myself at that desk writing i am a liar
42:23over and over i walked over took her hand annie it's okay accidents happen let's tell the teacher
42:33together she won't be mad annie looked at me shocked but mom says liars are bad wolves being honest isn't
42:41about never making mistakes it's about owning up when you do and even if you tell the truth you shouldn't
42:47be punished for it if the teacher gets angry i'll stand with you if your mom gets angry come to
42:54my
42:54house my parents will help i gave her the courage i never had she confessed the teacher forgave her
43:00told her to be more careful next time from that day on we have been best friends i brought annie
43:06home
43:06to meet my parents she saw how warm they were how they didn't yell didn't punish little things i told
43:13her you don't have to make everyone happy you're allowed to feel things say things one day annie's
43:22mom came to pick her up from school she saw us together and her face twisted she grabbed annie's
43:28hand did you mess up again is grace covering for you annie immediately looked down silent i stepped
43:36in front of her looked at the mom in the eye ma'am annie didn't do anything wrong she's a
43:42good pup
43:43you shouldn't always assume the worst she's scared of you the mom froze looked at me then at annie's
43:53tear-filled eyes her expression softened that night she called my mom thanked her said i'd opened her eyes
44:00over time annie's mom got gentler what you want to do started listening instead of yelling and annie
44:06she blossomed confident happy i watched her laugh freely one day and felt this warmth in my chest
44:14i didn't get saved in my last life i suffered alone in the dark but this time i could save
44:21someone
44:21else i could stop another stella from happening maybe that's the gift my past life gave me the ability
44:28to see pain and to heal it when i was 10 my parents took me to visit grandma there was
44:33an old oak tree
44:34in her yard its branches spread wide casting shade over the whole garden i sat beneath it watching
44:40sunlight filter through the leaves my wolf dozed inside me warm and content then i saw her an old
44:47woman white hair hunched over a walking stick wearing a faded blue dress the second i saw her face
44:53i froze she looked exactly like rachel my old mother grandma noticed me too walked over slowly
45:01her eyes were hazy but there was something familiar in them something heavy what's your name child grace
45:07she repeated it softly grace that's a beautiful name she reached out like she wanted to touch my hair
45:13then hesitated pulled back like she was afraid of disturbing something sacred my mom came over
45:18and studied her mom this is our daughter grace so she was my grandma in this life too over the
45:25next
45:25few days grandma watched me constantly her expression was unreadable one morning she brought
45:30me a bowl of roasted meat grace eat up this used to be your favorite i stared at the bowl
45:35in my last
45:36life i wrote in my dying breath i want to eat mom's roasted meat and here was grandma saying those
45:42exact
45:43words tears blurred my vision this wasn't some distant wish anymore it was real right in front of me i
45:50picked
45:50up a piece bit into it tender sweet perfect grandma smiled a tired guilty smile that night lying in bed
45:59with my wolf curled warm inside my chest i thought about rachel's last words next life let me wear the
46:05choker let me be the liar punish me however you want just don't leave me i thought about her final
46:11tear
46:12the torn journal i didn't hate her anymore hating someone is like locking yourself in the past chewing
46:18on pain forever this life's warmth had already washed away the bitterness i just felt sad sad that
46:24she only understood too late real love was never about stones or punishment we stayed for a month then
46:31went back home before i left she held my hand grace live well be happy her voice was soft but
46:37heavy with
46:37meaning i nodded you too grandma i watched her walk away and i felt nothing no anger no grief the
46:45grudges
46:45of my past life were like fallen leaves blown away by the wind i wasn't stella anymore the girl locked
46:51in
46:51the dark choking on a lie i was grace sterling surrounded by love free at 13 i graduated from
46:58pack school got into the best academy in the region my parents took me to the lake for a picnic
47:03to celebrate
47:04i stood at the edge of the water wind in my hair the scent of pine and cold water on
47:09my skin i stretched
47:10out my arms feeling the freedom for a moment i saw her my ghost self floating desperate to hug someone
47:18but passing right through grace what are you thinking dad handed me a drink i smiled just i'm grateful to
47:25be
47:26alive to be with you both mom pulled me into a hug silly girl we're the lucky ones no one
47:32said anything
47:33we all just shifted at the same time like we'd done it a hundred times before we ran together through
47:39the trees through the shallow edge of the lake water spraying silver around our paws eventually i slowed
47:45down turned and threw myself at them we tumbled into the grass together mom nuzzled her head against
47:52mine dad licked the top of my head with lazy affection i pressed into them both and stayed there
47:58breathing hard warm all the way through i looked up at the sky through the canopy of trees i didn't
48:04need to prove i wasn't a liar anymore i didn't need to fear a red light i could laugh cry
48:10speak freely
48:11i had parents who loved me a best friend a healthy body a bright future this was the life i
48:18died wishing
48:19for that night i wrote in my journal not the blood-stained confessions of my old life this one
48:24was full of happiness growth love i wrote today we ran by the lake mom and dad shifted with me
48:32without saying a word we tumbled in the grass like pups i thought about my past self that little girl
48:37locked in a room choking in the dark desperate to be loved she'd never believe that i could be this
48:44happy mom and dad love me they taught me that honesty isn't something you punish out of someone
48:49it's something you grow with patience and warmth annie is my best friend now she laughs freely
48:56she speaks without flinching grandma is getting older but her eyes are warm when she looks at me
49:02my wolf grows stronger every day with her beside me i feel at ease i don't hate anyone anymore i
49:09don't
49:09cling to the past those painful memories are like paw prints in the mud washed away by rain but they
49:16taught
49:16me to cherish every step forward i know my old mom sister and dad got what they deserved and i
49:23finally broke free i found real freedom i don't want to see them again i don't want to relive that
49:29life i just want to be gray simple happy loved the lake was beautiful life was beautiful i closed my
49:37journal looked out the window moonlight shimmered on the water through the trees my wolf stirred softly
49:42inside my chest warm steady i smiled this life i finally became who i wanted to be no red light
49:50no starvation no lies just love freedom happiness and those scars from my past they became part of me
49:58proof that i had survived proof that darkness no matter how long it lasts cannot swallow you whole
50:04not if you keep moving toward the light the road ahead is long but i will walk it with courage
50:09with joy
50:11courage with joy towards something even brighter
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