- 2 hours ago
Full Episode of She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess!
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00:00:02Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:06Please save my child.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:43Rejuvenate.
00:00:51Praise! She is the Healer goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:05Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:35Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:43Right, rewrites the wronged.
00:01:49Rejuvenate.
00:01:54See? Good is the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo! Let's go!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:16Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:21We have no idea what the illness is. If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:26Be Lysander Armstrong! His military family basically owns the entire global stock market!
00:02:32He's so hot! Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:38Money. Fame. Power. It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:56Grandma!
00:02:56I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma?
00:03:02Grandma.
00:03:03When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:07I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:16Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:22We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:27No!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:40Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:44Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:47The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What? Oh, geez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:55Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:01Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:06Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:11Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:14Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:26What? My migraine's gone.
00:04:28Okay, then let's go.
00:04:29If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on. Come on.
00:04:33Oh!
00:04:47How is he?
00:04:48What is the diagnosis?
00:04:50Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:55Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:57You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:59Don't worry, General.
00:05:00I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:26I have no clue what this is.
00:05:30Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:37Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:06:04They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:06:07If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:16The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second.
00:06:21You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:23That's correct.
00:06:24Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:30That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:34We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive.
00:06:40No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son,
00:06:46I don't care if I go bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her.
00:06:49James, come.
00:06:51Put out a bounty.
00:06:53To the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:59There's no need.
00:07:14I'll save your son.
00:07:17Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:21Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly.
00:07:28God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew!
00:07:35She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:39That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:51Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:56But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:02Could you hold this?
00:08:04Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:05You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:11I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:20Who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:31Ew!
00:08:32Disgusting.
00:08:33Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:35Security!
00:08:36Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:40If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:55You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:09:01But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:10You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:12And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:20Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:23No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:24My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:26I can't lose him.
00:09:29Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:39Also, he's great with puppies.
00:09:40He'd make a great husband.
00:09:44Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:46As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her.
00:09:56Even if she cleaned herself up.
00:09:58You couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:02Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time.
00:10:08But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:20Okay.
00:10:22What's happening?
00:10:24What are we doing?
00:10:35What the hell are you doing?
00:10:39I knew she was a perv.
00:10:41She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:44Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane?
00:10:49Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:53He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:11:00Yeah, right. I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:11:04Oh, okay. I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:07I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:11And I've never heard of endo-cryo...
00:11:15What? What?
00:11:18This?
00:11:25Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29What? So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, THE rod of a sepulius?
00:11:36Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:41I agree. I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have
00:11:47studied for years?
00:11:49We are all certified.
00:11:51But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:54She's right about everything.
00:11:58Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:03And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:12:07Endogenic cryomorphy.
00:12:08Oh.
00:12:09And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:11Because I just discovered it.
00:12:13This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:17The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:19A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:22But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:27What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:28I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:33Precisely. You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:36You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:41Listen, I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:45Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:49And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:53which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:57Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:59Oh, yeah.
00:13:01If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:04I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:07Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:13It means you're being schooled by me.
00:13:15And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:19Then let's have a bet.
00:13:21If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:13:26And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:32These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:37You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:40Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:43There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:47Don't worry. I got this.
00:13:52It's a deal.
00:13:54I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:56No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:04Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:11Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:15Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:27I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:30I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:33I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:38Prepare a Jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:41Wait, wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:14:43Don't listen to her.
00:14:45She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:50Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:54Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery,
00:14:57you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:15:01What? Did you just call me?
00:15:05There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:10Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:14Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you,
00:15:18you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:20Oh, yeah?
00:15:21Hey, you wanna see real pain?
00:15:22Where's the dog?
00:15:23Well, put down the dog!
00:15:25With pleasure.
00:15:41Left leaves the wrong bereft.
00:15:47You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:53She's been poisoned!
00:15:56It was her!
00:15:57Do you see any poison on me?
00:16:00Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:06This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:09Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:11Of course.
00:16:13I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:16If I wanna save someone, even the grim reaper can't stop me.
00:16:36Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:37This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:39I thought you said even the grim reaper can't get in your way, angel herbalist.
00:16:43This is what I call malpractice.
00:16:47This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:16:50But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:52Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:54Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:55Right this way.
00:16:57Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:16:58What the hell is going on?
00:16:59You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:04Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:05Every second counts.
00:17:08Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:14General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:19Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:23Hold on. You two are going in there alone?
00:17:27If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:33Alright, but I warn you, no funny business.
00:18:09Don't.
00:18:30I'll touch the floor straight up.
00:18:33You idiot..."
00:18:39you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman general
00:18:43armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him she could blackmail you for millions
00:18:50that's what i would do if i was that poor and then the armstrong family will be the laughing
00:18:55stock of the nation held for ransom by a homeless woman dad you can't seriously be listening to
00:19:02that we have to have faith where did you actually find this little light on the streets are you
00:19:11shitting me you found this bum on the streets are you nuts you don't know her you don't know her
00:19:17background she could be a psychotic murder that is it general you have to go in and stop this now
00:19:22you're right that's it i'm shutting down this clown show right now james let's go yes sir
00:19:38i told you all to stay out
00:19:45this is a critical moment for you we can't be interrupted otherwise we both die
00:19:54i'm not gonna let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son
00:20:00i'm gonna save him myself
00:20:06you see that general this isn't just a gull-dicking con woman this is a witchcraft
00:20:13i know what this is this is the dark witch i've heard of her she uses her dark magic to
00:20:21steal the
00:20:21hearts of young handsome men and then she eats them alive oh i'm gonna kill that bitch before
00:20:26she takes my son james get the swat team yes sir
00:20:34you regain consciousness
00:20:46help me i just want
00:20:53something's wrong
00:20:56you were drunk with an aphrodisiac
00:20:59lysander armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
00:21:04that's one more thing i'm saving you from
00:21:13sir
00:21:14the swat team is here captain morales my son is trapped behind there with a devious man-eating
00:21:23witch i need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door rest assured general armstrong
00:21:29we'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive
00:21:46who the fuck are you and why the hell are we naked
00:21:51good you're awake i'm saving you saving me by bathing with me who are you your fucking spy
00:22:01i swear to god i swear to god i'll have you arrested for this
00:22:05you're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stipper
00:22:10i will never oh really
00:22:25look who's guilty now
00:22:29look i don't know what the fuck this is all right but it is a biological fact
00:22:33a man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts science okay it just means that my body
00:22:41oh shut up
00:22:41is physically
00:22:45you're just acting with your friend and i'm a professional
00:22:49i hear lysander's voice captain do something now ready
00:22:58we're almost there
00:23:00we're almost there aim
00:23:03get him boys get him
00:23:06fire
00:23:10fire
00:23:25those
00:23:26the missiles
00:23:27how is this possible
00:23:29it's it's not even a scratch
00:23:30i told you this is dark magic
00:23:33of course your earthly bullets won't do a thing
00:23:35no i believe miss trixie is a good person she's not the dark witch
00:23:40young master armstrong you are too easily fooled this homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to
00:23:47make a living how is she going to save someone else's life that's right the queen angel and i are
00:23:53already the top female doctors in the world if we can't save him no one can except for the goddess
00:23:59healer
00:23:59think about it we heard lysander's voice he's been in a coma for two years miss trixie must have
00:24:04woken him up you're right this homeless girl is maybe the goddess
00:24:12maybe this homeless girl is really the god
00:24:15no no absolutely not there is no way this hobo girl is better than us but how could you know
00:24:22for
00:24:22sure right now what we need to do is not interrupt miss trixie you're wrong sir this homeless snake is
00:24:29using the forbidden techniques on master lysander it's called borderline revival she uses torturous
00:24:36pain to wake the patient but only temporarily it's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears
00:24:44that means my son is in tremendous pain i'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can to kill
00:24:50that antler rod bearing witch my son doesn't deserve this he is dying right now naked in a jacuzzi
00:24:57with a smelly vagrant then it looks like it's up to me the witch doctor only i know the right
00:25:03techniques to take her down my son's life is in your hands you heal him i will give you whatever
00:25:11your heart desires i don't know who you are but there is no way i am letting you rip my
00:25:18golden bachelor
00:25:19away from me this is it the finishing touch i must now give you the kiss of life so we
00:25:28can both survive
00:25:47it's poison gas the poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over master lysander poison
00:25:55gas my son is in there you're jeopardizing his life as well no don't worry general gold diggers like
00:26:02her only care about themselves soon she'll come out crying to mommy then we can reverse the poison
00:26:09on your son and then he can marry one of us they really won't stop until they get both of
00:26:15us killed
00:26:18i made a promise to you that i'd save you it's now or never
00:26:35what the hell are they doing in there it's been over ten minutes wait a second you don't think that
00:26:41there you you suffocated my brother and miss trixie in there don't point your fingers at me if your
00:26:48brother's dead it's because of that homeless gold digger oh my god yeah she's the one who sealed the
00:26:53door shut i mean she probably locked themselves in there on accident miss trixie wouldn't have to do
00:26:59that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother this is taking way too long
00:27:05captain morales it's time to get out the big guns these bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter
00:27:12bazooka she won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself crap oh my god get back suck
00:27:20ready hey oh shit
00:27:27quit your whining and stand down
00:27:42the parasite's been extracted shoot her dead now do i need to fix your hearing too i said stand down
00:27:50don't listen to her she's a fraud a termite to the field of medicine i just saved this man that
00:27:56otherwise would have died in your care if i'm a termite then you're worse than a disease spreading tick
00:28:03wait a second are you saying you cured my son he'll wake in just a moment you can see for
00:28:08yourself
00:28:09well now you're just asking to be exposed that is it no more stalling general if you won't punish her
00:28:16i will
00:28:21don't hurt her
00:28:26he's his pulse is regular in fact it's never been better
00:28:40there's no sign of illness infection or disease
00:28:51miss trixie did it dad lysander's warm again he's not cold and pale like before and his heart is
00:28:57strong come feel it i saved my son
00:29:03thank you next time don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will
00:29:07your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands
00:29:12i've learned my lesson i will not let these two nut jobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic
00:29:17again wait wait no no there is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field
00:29:24of
00:29:24medicine than the queen angel and i
00:29:28the goddess healer
00:29:33could you really be the goddess of healing but rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well
00:29:39over 100 years old and you don't look a day after 20. it doesn't matter who i am what matters
00:29:46is that
00:29:46the patient is healthy again devon i've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your
00:29:51brother take care no wait miss trixie we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet he's right
00:29:59we are men of our words and as i promised you my heir lysander would take you as a wife
00:30:03if you cured him
00:30:04and you did just that of course you're welcome to marry me instead i really appreciate it but i'm
00:30:13sorry i i'm already engaged
00:30:18already engaged i am i've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years
00:30:25and he's coming back today but don't be disappointed really i'm no one special i just
00:30:32got lucky with your brother some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments
00:30:36but you're still lysander's savior please let me give you what i promised take the gold no really
00:30:44i don't need anything i just believe in doing good in the world
00:30:51trixie it's your fiance he's back and he says he's breaking up with you
00:30:58i must go
00:31:06hobo close halo glow i bet the goddess healer is just like miss trixie it was just dumb luck
00:31:14she's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal she could have been the richest woman in
00:31:18the world marrying the hottest most powerful bachelor around i'm gonna marry that homeless woman
00:31:32oh my god i mean i don't know about that homeless bimbo but this is godly
00:31:39no no no no no lycandra lycandra was not what's supposed to be mine
00:31:45i'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless ugly bitch have him
00:31:50you two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their
00:31:56licenses wait no we're not brides no she's just better than us oh my god
00:32:06we were truly blessed to have miss trixie here huh
00:32:09she's no average jane no she isn't she said it was just dumb luck but if she truly had these
00:32:14special
00:32:15skills why did she wear that shit stained dress and had an impeccable looking dog but think about
00:32:20the impenetrable walls no normal person could have done that goddess or not homeless or not i don't
00:32:26care i have never met a woman like that i have to find her i have to make her my
00:32:30life she won my heart
00:32:32over too but if my bestest big row wants her i'll help you find her all right listen i need
00:32:38help finding three wedding gifts
00:32:45i'm dumping trixie so i want you your granddaughters filthy things out of my house
00:32:52now trixie paid for this house she waited for you for three years
00:32:58she was dumb enough to put my name on the lease and i'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now one
00:33:03with some serious you money so get lost who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my
00:33:10house
00:33:17grandma beatrice trixie amori i've been dying to throw this in your face i'm dumping you for your best
00:33:25friend marissa in fact the wedding's tomorrow so sign over the house now
00:33:37you gave me this ring and asked me to wait and i did for three years while you were deployed
00:33:44yet you cheat on me with my best friend and now you're trying to swindle my home
00:33:50do you have no shame we were together for three years and uh it was a complete waste of my
00:33:55life
00:33:55when i could have been with a loaded girl like marissa
00:34:03that's how much you would owe me if i was in the rent the boyfriend business
00:34:09i see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute
00:34:17oh yeah well marissa is so much better than you she grew up even poorer than you and now
00:34:27she's the ceo of an entire corporation
00:34:33and you you're still nothing so you think she's an upgrade of course she's an upgrade
00:34:41look what she uh got me for my engagement oops yeah that's maybe worth one millionth the presidential
00:34:50contract i gave her
00:34:57you gave her the presidential contract i certainly did in fact
00:35:02marissa you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me
00:35:13oh i think she's losing it bro that breakup must have hit her hard you two are the ungrateful
00:35:20cheating scum here my granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you
00:35:27were gone how dare you insult her it's okay grandma let's not stoop to that level
00:35:35poor edna she still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets huh
00:35:39what is he talking about you see show her bob
00:35:47this is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is she didn't purchase this
00:35:52house on her own she was begging on the street for money i can't be caught with a piss poor
00:35:58nobody
00:35:59like you even if you got no game i got street credit i got out of keep you dig the
00:36:04word you're looking for
00:36:05is dignity and you're one to speak cheater is this true tricksy
00:36:15i've been broadening my horizons grandma i want to see how regular everyday people live
00:36:21so that i can help them of course those without substance underneath would never understand that
00:36:27what is that supposed to mean it means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a
00:36:33downgrade
00:36:38enough bullshitting already just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives
00:36:54at your wedding i will
00:36:57if you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend why
00:37:03should i do
00:37:04good by you i'll give you my john hancock at your wedding as a charity to you
00:37:10fucking bitch you better keep your word oh that's rich after tomorrow you will never feel so rich ever
00:37:17again do you remember that
00:37:26tricksy marissa's a millionaire now they'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding
00:37:33grandma i have to confess something to you i've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions
00:37:39trillions
00:37:43that would make you the richest person on the planet it's because of the healing hands i inherited from
00:37:50aseplius the god of healing i've saved several world leaders with these hands
00:37:56that's how i was able to give marissa the presidential contract
00:38:00and become the goddess healer it makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you
00:38:05but please tricksy dear i know it was to broken your heart but embellishing your worth and who you are
00:38:14it will only delay the healing process you don't have to believe me just yet after we lost mom and
00:38:21dad
00:38:21because we didn't have the money for their medical bills i vowed that i would do everything i can to
00:38:27serve those in need that's why i'm taking everything back from butch and i'm giving it back to charity
00:38:32you've always had an angel's heart i'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right
00:38:39who actually deserves you you will see tomorrow grandma
00:38:45oh yeah
00:38:51you said tricksy's crashing my wedding she was bullying us too salsa she's probably trying to extort
00:38:57you now that she knows you're rich as fuck when nobody steps on snake the snake bites back
00:39:04car so let her comment embarrass herself yeah you mean we broadcast that video
00:39:16yes her cavewoman stick the 19th century tin can
00:39:20she'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:24against my presidential glow up let's turn this party into her funeral
00:39:35there he is welcome home brother welcome home general
00:39:44sir the homeless woman who saved you miss trixie this is the file of her ex butch tanner
00:39:49he served with your regiment in the marines you mean the butch tanner that could barely carry
00:39:53supplies well she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas
00:39:58sir so she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her
00:40:01fucking coward according to intel she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding
00:40:05then we should join her men i'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman
00:40:11and her incredible power that saved my life so she needs our support will you join me in protecting her
00:40:16yes sir we will allow our lives to protect her sir and let's roll
00:40:36welcome everyone to my wedding today is a very special day for me and budge not only are we getting
00:40:42married but in just one hour my company will be receiving the presidential contract allowing my
00:40:47biomedical company to go public
00:40:52congratulations on the contract once again mrs
00:40:55wake him still but just taking my last name oh and please don't be so uptight secretary cho
00:41:02you are the secretary of the entire u.s health department but this is a partay after all i see
00:41:08some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you
00:41:13the u.s president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself
00:41:19it's an honor and that's why sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of
00:41:25we will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight we'll let the wedding begin
00:41:32not so fast the party doesn't start until i say it does
00:41:58you two really are a match made in hell so i've come to save your guests from this
00:42:03oncoming train wreck i don't recognize it from any of our elite circles who is she
00:42:07uh this is our uh entertainment for tonight sir just watch
00:42:15trixie what are you doing here this isn't the homeless shelter you lost
00:42:18i bet she's here to bum a meal off us you know being this poor
00:42:24me bum a meal have you forgotten that it was i who bankrolled you two for the last three years
00:42:30what
00:42:30evidence do you have of that look at me then go look at yourself in the mirror i'm a millionaire
00:42:36ceo even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me and you're nothing
00:42:41but a washed up sewer rat sasa she's like so obsessed with me she will see everyone but already cut
00:42:51ties
00:42:51with his ex but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my wedding to suck up
00:42:57to me
00:42:57this is what poor sad girls do they beg for scraps from us the rich and glorious projecting much marissa
00:43:06you might feel all high and mighty now but don't bite the hand that feeds you
00:43:11especially when i'm the one who's giving you the contract
00:43:18you giving me the contract you have no skills no education no connection so how could you possibly have
00:43:27a pool to get the us president to give me a billion dollar contract we both share humble beginnings
00:43:33marissa and i saw potential in you even trusted you as my best friend but i recognize now that greed
00:43:40has poisoned you don't be all sore now just because i stole your man this is what us rich girls
00:43:47do
00:43:47they steal from lane spinsters for fun damn right you were too embarrassing for me sasa tramples you
00:43:56any day i could say that now that i'm marrying the rich bravo self-admission of a gold digger quick
00:44:03somebody put that on a memoir so she's embarrassing me in front of everyone
00:44:06she'll make her stop don't listen to her everyone she's the gold digging blood sucking leech i don't even
00:44:13have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me butch
00:44:19you may look and sound like a man but you're nothing but a pathetic coward okay enough you know
00:44:25what i always couldn't stand about you your moral posturing but guess what morals are just lies to
00:44:31make you and girls feel better about yourselves that's why no man will choose you over marissa trixie
00:44:37because i've got the material goods and you're just all empty talk i'm not here to request to be
00:44:42chosen because i'm the one who's doing the choosing see this
00:44:59oh my god is that the billion dollar contract for salsa
00:45:06the one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck no absolutely not i i don't believe it
00:45:12you all sound so scared already don't worry this isn't that contract
00:45:17it's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me
00:45:23see everyone she's just trying to bluff us but you don't even have the guts to go all the way
00:45:28look at her following orders i asked her to sign over the lease and here she is
00:45:32like a good little uh peasant slave that house is worth all her life savings
00:45:40you want to uh i don't know beg for a little treat while you're at it
00:45:54you must understand me i'm here to take back everything i've ever given you
00:45:59i'm giving it to charity
00:46:08bro she's gone cuckoo in the head she thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she
00:46:13can pretend to be a deep pocket investment baddie you wish you had that kind of money to just toss
00:46:17away trixie it's just a drop in the bucket for me i i know what this is you've gotten delusional
00:46:24and you think you're cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some prince charming
00:46:29will scoop you into money forever well that's not happening security lock the doors this woman
00:46:34doesn't leave until we're through with her this is where your dreams will die bitch
00:46:45we found miss trixie lysander she's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the
00:46:49wickham wedding right now butch tanner well he's gonna wish he died in battle after i'm done with him
00:46:54let's go
00:46:59you think a few toy guns scare me marissa i've saved plenty of people for much worse
00:47:05including your head of command butch general lysander armstrong you mean the legendary war hero
00:47:12he's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack you're an unskilled
00:47:18unemployed ugly leech so how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like
00:47:24general lysander armstrong no one here's gonna believe you if you really cured the incurable
00:47:29general then sasa is the fucking virgin mary and she's not you're just asking to be humiliated
00:47:36trixie show them butch
00:47:43see for yourselves everyone trixie's just a freeloading beggar
00:47:51she won't leave me and marissa alone because we're rich as now i'm a major in the marines
00:47:57sasa she has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military approved by the first female
00:48:05president of the united states herself bitch how despicable she's just trying to leech off you like
00:48:11a parasitic gold digger get out of here no one wants to marry you no free meals for the poor
00:48:17do you see this trixie this is high society so you're either born on a silver spoon or you're
00:48:24as accomplished as me to be here maybe if you do some serious dick sucking here
00:48:29maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can
00:48:35i already have everything one can dream of but i valued our friendship marissa which is why i came
00:48:40here to give you a second chance to see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing but no
00:48:46you stooped so low it disgusts me nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners
00:48:53like a bum and who knows if you've already started offering sexual services well then why don't you
00:49:02get on your knees for me trixie my brother will never take you back no man will marry an embarrassment
00:49:08man like you but make me happy and i might consider making you my personal prostitute
00:49:25how dare you hit my brother i'm never letting you leave here alive
00:49:32awesome don't worry my dear after i'm done with you trixie not even the goddess of healing will be
00:49:37able to save you oh is that so security
00:49:44get down on your knees and give bob one hell of a blow job in front of everybody here or
00:49:50i'll pop
00:49:51so many holes in you the men here won't know which one to fuck i don't need to be the
00:49:55goddess of
00:49:55anything to punish you any of the powerful leaders i've saved before could crush you
00:50:01before you even touch me dream on you wish general lysander scooped you off your feet but
00:50:07you weren't good enough for me you're definitely not good enough for him
00:50:10enough you're souring my party so you either get the fuck out or i'm gonna shoot you
00:50:18on the count of three i think i quite like it here two
00:50:23on the count of three i think i'm gonna get the fuck out of three i think i'm gonna get
00:50:32the fuck out of three
00:50:32hmm this wine is so delicious one shoot
00:50:40nobody is laying a hand on my future wife
00:51:01who the hell is this
00:51:06i'm sorry that i'm late did they hurt you no i'm fine
00:51:11but um when did i become your future wife
00:51:16you saved me trixie remember i'm a man of my word
00:51:20they're never gonna hurt you ever again really it was nothing
00:51:25i saved you because you're a good man not because i want you to owe me any favors
00:51:34i see what this is you're the one who cheated on me trixie
00:51:39look at you guys all lovey-dove don't try to pin this on her she waited for you for three
00:51:43years
00:51:43this is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for
00:51:50don't make me laugh she's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash
00:51:54no man who in a hundred foot pole would want to touch her she should be happy bob was willing
00:52:00to give her some
00:52:05i see her in the marines
00:52:08i'm a major you know look man i know trixie is like uh i don't know like a seven now
00:52:15that she's all
00:52:15cleaned up but don't waste your manhood on a whiny worthless woman like that
00:52:20ow ow ow ow ow ow ow a real man never talks about a woman that way you're a coward
00:52:40i don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them
00:52:44you're very gracious trixie you know that
00:52:49you're only getting off with it because she's so kind so you're gonna do me the favor of never
00:52:52coming near her again you understand you want to with me a little dipshit i'm a
00:52:57fucking major you're probably lowest rank of the military grunts i'll i'll destroy you
00:53:02do you really not know who this is butch i thought you were in the marines
00:53:07what have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is
00:53:11he was just a supply boy
00:53:15war hero is this all part of your plan trixie poor girl did you sell your house to hire this
00:53:23actor so you can feel better about yourself a woman's worth is tied to the man she marries
00:53:28trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy
00:53:34a bum girl and a pimp what a pair it seems like they don't know who you are since you've
00:53:40been out
00:53:40action for so long maybe we should try to play some house some more don't you think bring in the
00:53:47wedding gifts
00:53:55what is all this trixie listen i know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life
00:54:01but i know that we shared a moment i'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman
00:54:08and then just
00:54:09disappear it's not in my nature i'm like somebody else here listen trixie i have never met a woman
00:54:20like you so incredible and kind and beautiful so i know that you're the one for me
00:54:29this guy's either nuts or a really really good actor oscar worthy oscar worthy no first gift
00:54:43trixie i know that you just lost your home so i'm gifting you with your own new mansion worth 500
00:54:50million dollars previously owned by jennifer aniston second gift
00:54:59this contains all the rights to my entire fortune which is now yours entire fortune from a cowboy
00:55:06actor must be that easy they already spent their entire life savings on this clown show they've got
00:55:11nothing left why sander i really don't care for any of us look i i i know i know that
00:55:18you are the
00:55:18farthest thing from a material woman okay which is exactly why well my third gift is um well
00:55:38i'll get to the top
00:55:41cleo hey oh my god you found my dog
00:55:52Trixie, I'm just a man
00:55:53But with you, it's so much more
00:55:56Trixie Amore
00:56:00Will you marry me?
00:56:04You know I can't say no to this doggo
00:56:09Yes, I will marry you
00:56:27Go, go, power couple
00:56:30Okay, stop
00:56:32The only power couple here is Butch and I
00:56:36Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is
00:56:40No man in their right mind
00:56:43Would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:56:46Hey, I don't care if she's homeless or not
00:56:48But I'm making this woman my wife
00:56:50Which means that she will be treated as
00:56:53And cherished as the most precious woman on earth
00:56:56Understand?
00:57:01You still don't realize
00:57:02That my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:57:05This is General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:15As if
00:57:17Like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:19Would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie
00:57:22Yes, the Armstrong family basically control the global stock market
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the Princess of England
00:57:29Than someone from the lowest rank of society
00:57:31I bet my life you're all just
00:57:34Hector's
00:57:35Then you better enjoy your last breath
00:57:37Come on, Lysander
00:57:38What are we waiting for?
00:57:39Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie
00:57:40What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us?
00:57:43The elites
00:57:44Infect us with your poor people bad luck?
00:57:46She wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:57:50Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum
00:57:54She's utterly unmarriable
00:57:59I can dispose of them
00:58:00In other means if you don't prefer violence
00:58:03I'd handle them myself, but
00:58:07I'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:58:09Go ahead, Lysander
00:58:17Yes, hello, this is Lysander
00:58:18Please bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me
00:58:23Oh my gosh, I'm so scared
00:58:24Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:58:35Uh, hello?
00:58:37Yes
00:58:39What?
00:58:44I'm going bankrupt
00:58:54Hey, hey, hey
00:58:55Are you sure that was the call, Sasa?
00:58:58That was a real call?
00:58:59People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:59:01My company's dead
00:59:02It evaporated
00:59:04It's in thin air
00:59:08And that's impossible
00:59:10Who are you?
00:59:11What did you do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho
00:59:14You said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:16And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market
00:59:20Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:23Then that means
00:59:27You're really Lysander Armstrong
00:59:29The richest and most powerful man in the country
00:59:33Trixie's married
00:59:34The famed war hero
00:59:36The man every girl wants and every man wants to be
00:59:41Now you believe me?
00:59:42Those who do bad will always end up losing everything
00:59:46There's got to be some trick to this
00:59:48You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us
00:59:52Sasa, Sasa, Sasa
01:00:00I know why you're all over Trixie
01:00:02Because you've been in the military for so long
01:00:04You don't know what a real woman can do for you
01:00:07Let me take you to my wedding chamber
01:00:09And I'll show you a good time
01:00:12Do you have your hands for me?
01:00:14Or I'll have them removed for you
01:00:20I would never be interested in a woman
01:00:22Who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are
01:00:26Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:31Sasa was just trying to save the company
01:00:34I don't blame her at all
01:00:35Your double standards are incredible
01:00:37Okay, you don't want me?
01:00:39Fine
01:00:39But there's plenty of other efficiency
01:00:41I can give you a room full of pageant winners
01:00:4418 years old
01:00:45I'm fresh for the taking
01:00:53I did that so you wouldn't have to, Ms. Trixie
01:00:57Thank you, Devin
01:00:59Marissa
01:01:00Not only have you backstabbed me
01:01:02Your best friend
01:01:04By stealing my fiancé
01:01:06But now you'd sell out other innocent girls
01:01:08Just to get your company back?
01:01:10You're an insult to all good women out there
01:01:12No, to all of humanity
01:01:13So now
01:01:14Everything that I've ever given you to
01:01:17I'm taking it all back
01:01:21Wait, everyone
01:01:22Stop
01:01:25They're impostors
01:01:30I just got off the phone with the president
01:01:32And she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:34Because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
01:01:37So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:40The goddess healer?
01:01:41You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine
01:01:44Approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:47Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
01:01:51The goddess healer's motto is
01:01:53The right rewrites the wrong
01:01:55The left leave the wrong bereft
01:01:58That means she's rewarding me
01:02:00The president would never let your company go bankrupt
01:02:03In fact, she's on her way now
01:02:08So you're telling me
01:02:09This dashingly handsome motherfucker over here
01:02:12Isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:14Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:15If the president and the goddess healer
01:02:18Approves of my products
01:02:19Who cares about this washed up war hero?
01:02:21We can break his legs, break his arms
01:02:23No one would even bat an eye
01:02:24She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services
01:02:28FBI
01:02:30FBI
01:02:31You're under arrest for fraudulent claims
01:02:34And identity theft
01:02:36Gotcha
01:02:41Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie
01:02:44No, don't arrest her
01:02:46Trixie's a good person
01:02:48Please, officer, don't arrest her
01:02:50Grandma
01:02:50Mr. Rogers
01:02:52Mrs. Williams
01:02:53What are you all doing here?
01:02:54The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch
01:02:57We were worried
01:02:58So we came here to back you up
01:03:00Listen, officer
01:03:01I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor
01:03:04She's very kind-hearted
01:03:06And would never break the law
01:03:08Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition
01:03:11Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out
01:03:15She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well
01:03:18My fiance really is an incredible woman
01:03:21She's an angel
01:03:22Descended from heaven
01:03:28You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong
01:03:32My brother is not a criminal
01:03:34He's a war hero
01:03:35Who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
01:03:38Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash
01:03:41And that's why it's twice the crime for stealing his identity
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist
01:03:49And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble
01:03:58But I promise that I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex
01:04:04If you want to arrest me, fine
01:04:07But don't fuck with my fiance
01:04:08You don't get to decide punk
01:04:10Let's go
01:04:34Get him!
01:04:37Get him!
01:05:05Oh
01:05:27Is that enough pain or do you want more
01:05:37Legend is written all over you, Leicenander
01:05:42Grandma
01:05:44Meet my new fiance
01:05:48Wow, your new fiance
01:05:50He's so manly
01:05:52Much better than your last one
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better
01:05:57It's Butch's loss
01:05:58Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa
01:06:01She's like a shining star in the sky
01:06:04And Marissa's like a roach in the sewers
01:06:07Bitch, we name calling now?
01:06:09I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right fam?
01:06:12Drown out the poor
01:06:13Drown out the poor
01:06:14Drown out the poor
01:06:16Drown out the poor
01:06:17Drown out the poor
01:06:19Drown out the poor
01:06:20See Trixie, you've got no connections
01:06:23No power
01:06:24You can't compete against me
01:06:26Even if you have one guy on your side who can fight
01:06:28We're too honorable to fight dirty like you
01:06:30So you're using defenseless lives as your shield
01:06:33Because you know we won't hurt them
01:06:35Let them eat cake
01:06:36You can't shoot all of them
01:06:48Grab what you can't, fam
01:06:49Attack
01:07:07You will not hurt a single soul in my presence
01:07:16What the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was
01:07:18I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding
01:07:29Dammit!
01:07:30Dammit, dammit
01:07:32You forgot I had a gun too
01:07:35That'll teach you for messing with the wig hams
01:07:37Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here
01:07:39We're cornered
01:07:40I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off
01:07:42Devon, you and your brother are both good men
01:07:45I will not let your injury be in vain
01:07:48They will be punished
01:07:52Now hold still for me
01:07:56Right
01:07:57Rewrites the world
01:08:08Holy fuck
01:08:10Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:12By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:13She the goddess healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now
01:08:20Thank you Miss Trixie
01:08:22See
01:08:22I knew that you were no ordinary woman
01:08:25No
01:08:26Please
01:08:26I am just an ordinary girl
01:08:28Don't put me on some sort of pedestal
01:08:30Sure
01:08:32You hear that?
01:08:33She's just some average homeless girl in the streets
01:08:36She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet
01:08:38While I do not care for glory
01:08:40I do believe in justice
01:08:43Marissa and Butch
01:08:44Not only have you betrayed me
01:08:46But now you've hurt the innocent too
01:08:48I will make you both pay for your crimes
01:08:51And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:54God?
01:08:54Wrong
01:08:56But you're close
01:08:58Bullshit
01:08:59I'm going to show you how the elite can travel any low lives
01:09:04You want to cross the line so bad?
01:09:06Then let's see you try
01:09:07Charge
01:09:17The hell is this?
01:09:19This is the line between life and death
01:09:23Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good
01:09:27But, uh, I'll die before I believe that's magic
01:09:31You're not the Grim Reaper
01:09:32What if it's a trap?
01:09:34That woman has many tricks up her sleeves
01:09:36We ain't afraid of her
01:09:37She's nothing but a circus prostitute
01:09:40Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:43I will
01:09:46Left
01:09:47Left
01:09:48Leaves the wrong rest
01:09:56I'm fine
01:09:57Nothing happened
01:09:58You'll see soon enough
01:10:00Oh, please
01:10:01I really want to die
01:10:02And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up
01:10:07Whoops
01:10:08Just crossed it again
01:10:10Whoops
01:10:10And again
01:10:12Nothing's happening
01:10:27What did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything
01:10:31Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning
01:10:34I suggest you take him to the ER
01:10:36If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral
01:10:39Come on
01:10:41Major
01:10:42Are you not going to help your own brother?
01:10:43How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:45See, this must be an illusion
01:10:50Only the pure of heart can cross the line
01:10:52Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:02You're so sore I wouldn't marry you
01:11:04You'd go and hurt my brother
01:11:05Oh, please
01:11:06You hurt us first
01:11:08At first
01:11:09I was really hurt by your betrayal
01:11:11But I've come to realize
01:11:13Your true colors are that of a snake and a coward
01:11:15Marissa
01:11:16Thanks for taking this low life from me
01:11:20You blame yourself
01:11:21For being worthless
01:11:23You think anyone would want to marry you
01:11:25When you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:28When you wear
01:11:30Odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34Don't touch my wife
01:11:38And instead
01:11:39Trixie gets a handsome
01:11:40And protective
01:11:42Husband
01:11:43You can daydream all you want now, Trixie
01:11:45But when the presidential contract arrives
01:11:48It'll hit you like a fucking truck
01:11:49That you're nothing but an ugly phony
01:11:51And I'm the queen of everything
01:11:52Oh, really?
01:11:54Then let me show you how it is I
01:11:56Who has everything you want
01:11:57You've got nothing on me
01:12:02Yes
01:12:03Tell the president to get here immediately
01:12:10Goddess
01:12:11Madam president
01:12:12I require your assistance
01:12:14Yes, we'll be there immediately
01:12:19Get the VP
01:12:20We're leaving now
01:12:24Did she just pretend to call
01:12:26The first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28God, I knew you were cheap
01:12:29But I didn't know you were crazy, too
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa
01:12:34You're pathetic, Trixie
01:12:36A secretary to remind everyone
01:12:37How I have the presidential contract coming
01:12:39Miss Wickham is correct
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier
01:12:43Only the most important people have
01:12:45Madam President's direct line
01:12:47You hear that, everyone?
01:12:48There is no way low-life Trixie
01:12:51Could have called the president by herself
01:12:54She's just a desperate phony
01:12:56Who doesn't get enough male attention
01:12:58So she's come here to play up her importance
01:13:00No, my granddaughter would never do that
01:13:03Reversing time just to heal someone's wound
01:13:06Only the goddess healer can do that
01:13:08Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:11Oh my god
01:13:14Oh my god
01:13:18Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong
01:13:23And now you, Trixie
01:13:24Are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:28Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:32I never realized how delusional they were
01:13:34You can only dream of what you can never have
01:13:37While we rub our riches and privilege in their faces
01:13:40Look, I don't know what circus school you went to
01:13:43But you trying to make me jealous, Trixie
01:13:45It ain't working
01:13:46You can't just fake the
01:13:50Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary
01:13:53It's like real magic
01:13:55Trixie, you're an angel
01:13:57But the goddess healing is beyond your imagination
01:14:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex
01:14:03Won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08No
01:14:09Trixie, look
01:14:11I believe you
01:14:12You saved me
01:14:14Whether you're a goddess or not
01:14:16You did that
01:14:18No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me
01:14:21We'll riot against you now
01:14:23Tear her apart
01:14:24Tear her apart
01:14:26Tear her apart
01:14:29Tear her apart
01:14:31The vice president arrives
01:14:48Who dare cause ruckus in here
01:14:53You're General Lysander Armstrong
01:14:56Wait, what?
01:14:59He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:15:01No, no
01:15:02We've been through this already once, okay?
01:15:04Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:06This actor Trixie Hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me
01:15:11But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:16Yes
01:15:16We all thought he was a fraud
01:15:18What I mean is
01:15:21You're the war hero
01:15:22General Lysander Armstrong
01:15:24And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:27The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell
01:15:31And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:35He is the general
01:15:37Oh, but he's in trouble now
01:15:39Did you hear that?
01:15:41Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader
01:15:45So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:48We got the VP and the president
01:15:50On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie
01:15:55I told you
01:15:56Now punish them, Vice President Langley
01:15:59This is treason
01:16:00Lysander Armstrong
01:16:01You are stripped from your military honors and titles
01:16:08Hurry!
01:16:09The goddess healer needs us
01:16:13You can't do that, Mr. Vice President
01:16:15My brother is a war hero
01:16:17He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack
01:16:20He was in a coma for two years
01:16:21If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would
01:16:23Enough!
01:16:24You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family
01:16:27Not just your brother
01:16:30Yeah
01:16:31It's okay
01:16:33Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country
01:16:36I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life
01:16:41And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President
01:16:43I never gave a fuck about any damn titles
01:16:49I truly saved a good man
01:16:56I will not let you bring ruin to my fiance
01:16:59And what can you do about it?
01:17:01Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea
01:17:03My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military
01:17:09Let's try it out on them
01:17:12Hold on, Mr. Vice President
01:17:13There's no way that you're taking this seriously
01:17:15Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:18Despicable!
01:17:18What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power
01:17:24Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them
01:17:28Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:42Shoot!
01:17:43Wait, that's the president
01:17:55What the hell?
01:17:58Hey, idiots!
01:18:00Oh my gosh!
01:18:02Oh my gosh!
01:18:07I'm so sorry, Madam President!
01:18:09That was, they were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle
01:18:13What is this?
01:18:16Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military
01:18:19This is a war crime
01:18:21These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with
01:18:23You're the uncivilized buffoon
01:18:25I can shoot whoever I want
01:18:26I have the presidential contract
01:18:27With great power comes great responsibility
01:18:30And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you
01:18:35What are you doing?
01:18:36Reverse the poison
01:18:36And take it out of the present before it's too late
01:18:39That is easy
01:18:41There's no need
01:18:43I'll save everyone
01:18:57It's raining gold
01:19:01What's happening?
01:19:02Trixie doesn't have that kind of money
01:19:03It's gotta be cheap glitter
01:19:08She, she, she is
01:19:10She is a criminal
01:19:12Don't worry, Madam President
01:19:13We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison
01:19:15I'd be quiet if I were you
01:19:17Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up
01:19:20What are you talking about?
01:19:22The President literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract
01:19:34This contract?
01:19:36Yeah, yes
01:19:38Thank you, first gentleman
01:19:57My contract, you bitch
01:19:59And that's not all
01:20:12This foul weapon will not see the light of day
01:20:15There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus
01:20:18Don't you realize?
01:20:19Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:23You're the real virus here, Marissa
01:20:25Money is worth more to you than human lives
01:20:28And that's something I cannot tolerate
01:20:30So prepare yourself
01:20:32Because I'm about to smite you
01:20:35What are you going to do?
01:20:37The President is here
01:20:39And I just invented the best biomedical products in the world
01:20:43You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:47Madam President, you've recovered now
01:20:50So what's your final decision?
01:20:54I'll
01:20:54She's going to give me my billion dollar
01:21:02I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars
01:21:09Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:11You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar contract
01:21:14You wish, you idiot
01:21:18I've never seen a woman so vile
01:21:21So ugly on the inside
01:21:22It makes me want to vomit
01:21:23I don't understand
01:21:25I was just trying to punish these imposters
01:21:27For posing as the Goddess of Healing
01:21:31And do you know
01:21:32The Goddess Healer saved me and my son
01:21:35During childbirth
01:21:36You've really seen the Goddess Healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:40The one and only
01:21:43And it's
01:21:47Her
01:21:58Whaaaaat?
01:22:03Welcome, Goddess
01:22:16You really are the Goddess of Healing, aren't you?
01:22:18How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:21Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:25I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person
01:22:28To help those in need
01:22:30And make sure the man I chose loved me for me
01:22:33No, so that means
01:22:35The billion dollar contract
01:22:37It was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39Then she took it away just like that
01:22:42That was her golden ticket
01:22:44You were once my fiancé and best friend
01:22:46But after everything you've done
01:22:48We're officially getting ties with you both
01:22:51No, please, I swear
01:22:52I didn't know you were an actual saint
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is
01:22:59Trixie has a heart of gold
01:23:00She's an amazing person
01:23:02And you ruin that the moment that you betrayed her
01:23:06She's going to be my wife
01:23:07Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet
01:23:16I love you
01:23:30All her gold
01:23:31All her glory
01:23:33All that could have been mine
01:23:34This is all your fault
01:23:36This is all
01:23:37You seduced me
01:23:39Don't help me
01:23:40You were the one that came on to me
01:23:42You himbo
01:23:43Please, Trixie
01:23:45Give me another chance
01:23:48I want to be rich again
01:23:49I'll be your slave
01:23:51Kiss the ground you walk on
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize
01:23:55But it's too late now
01:23:57All I see is your greed
01:23:59And how much you'd hurt others
01:24:00Just to benefit yourself
01:24:01You two should be locked up
01:24:03And she shall
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction
01:24:08Arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham
01:24:11It's all your fault, Marissa
01:24:13I never loved you
01:24:14It's your fault
01:24:15I was only with you for your money
01:24:17I don't care
01:24:18You were rich
01:24:20I'll see myself now
01:24:22Rest assured, goddess
01:24:24We will not be using these biomedical weapons
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness
01:24:29Just like you
01:24:30I knew you'd uphold our shared values
01:24:33That is why I saved you
01:24:35With these healing hands
01:24:37I will work tirelessly to change the world
01:24:40One good deed at a time
01:24:41Well
01:24:43Let's not let this wedding go to waste
01:24:47Let's party!
01:24:49Wait
01:24:49What if we just got married?
01:24:51Right now?
01:24:52Yes
01:24:52Well
01:24:54Woo!
01:24:56Do you take each other
01:24:59To be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do
01:25:02I do
01:25:03You may kiss the bride
01:25:11You may kiss the bride
01:25:12You may kiss the bride
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