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00:19Welcome to Seven Days, the Easter edition.
00:23I am Jeremy Jackknife Corbett and tonight we're joining the biggest eggs in the land
00:27to hunt for chocolatey news, rip open its shiny foil and laugh at what's underneath.
00:32Let's meet the team, shall we?
00:33And leading team one, well, if he's here, then who's telling off the youth of Devenport
00:37and telling them to stop skateboarding on the sidewalk?
00:40Get off his lawn, kids!
00:41It's Paul Ego!
00:45Thank you, Jeremy.
00:46Thank you, Aotearoa.
00:48Well, I'll tell you what, looks like two of us got the memo about coming as middle-aged,
00:52bald men with glasses.
00:55Never mind, on my team tonight, it's rule-breaker Bridget Davies and the albino Jason Momoa,
01:00Tony Laugh.
01:03You can hear the leader of Team Two during breakfast on ZM, during dinner on TV, and throughout
01:08the night in crowded bars at the Viaduct yelling,
01:10You don't know me!
01:11It's Amy Sproul!
01:15We know you.
01:17Very excited to be the captain of Team Two.
01:20She's on the list of the must-see shows at this year's Comedy Festival.
01:23It's Liv McKenzie!
01:26And he's also on a list, but it's more of a register.
01:29It's Josh Johnson!
01:35Our first game for the night is Newsmakers, where I show the comedian something from the
01:38news.
01:38They have to tell me how it made headlines.
01:40Team One, I'm sort of doing an answer version of this.
01:43I've got an answer for you.
01:44You need to give me the question and basically tell me the news story.
01:47Your answer is, big savings.
01:49You call it theft, but I call it what?
01:54What do Paul and I get comparatively to Bridget at the hairdresser?
02:00What will the Briscoes lady's last words be on her deathbed?
02:05It'll either be that or it'll be, saucepins.
02:10And why didn't Corby insulate his rental property?
02:15That's so funny.
02:16Like, you think there's just one.
02:21While there were obviously a lot of downsides, what was the main benefit of slavery?
02:29Hey, just for next time.
02:31Guys who look like us can't do so.
02:35Can I have a legitimate guess, Jeremy?
02:37Yes, you can have a guess for big savings.
02:38It's not to do with the F word, is it?
02:41Uh-huh.
02:41Few-el.
02:42Mm-hmm.
02:43The thing that's the bane of our life at the moment.
02:45Yes.
02:46But the real question there is, what are Kiwis who carpool to work making big savings?
02:50Carpooling, where co-workers commute together and split travel costs, is growing in popularity
02:54thanks to that pesky fuel being too damn expensive.
02:57In fact, it's got so dire, parents are trying to avoid doing school pick-ups by telling their
03:01kids to get into cars with strangers.
03:04I've been doing this for a little while.
03:06I've been driving in with friends.
03:08Well, they call themselves Uber drivers.
03:11But we have such nice chats, you know, like, how's your day going?
03:15What time do you start?
03:16What time do you finish?
03:17Yeah.
03:19I know you were very confused when you first heard the story, because carpool to you is
03:23basically putting a jacuzzi in the boot of your Mercedes.
03:27What do you mean, putting it in?
03:28It's right there, haven't I?
03:29I actually love after the show that we all get into your boot koozie.
03:33It's like a nice way to wind down.
03:35It sounds like a disease.
03:37I've got a bit of boot koozie.
03:39Is that what's on your neck?
03:40Yeah.
03:42Actually, yeah, good.
03:43You remind me.
03:44You may have seen this little thing here.
03:46Any ideas, team?
03:47What's going on?
03:47Well, you've got a bad case of the boot koozie.
03:49Boot koozie?
03:50Yeah, did somebody rub their koozie on you?
03:54Bro, have you got a hickey?
03:56Oh, man.
03:57Hickey?
03:58Oh, boy!
04:00My boy's got a hickey!
04:02How do you think I got on the show?
04:06Oh, yeah.
04:07Give me a hickey.
04:08Talk to me about slavery.
04:11If you go flat, is that where we blow you to inflate you?
04:20What's gross about blowing Jeremy?
04:23How do you think I got on the show?
04:28Did you have something cut out?
04:30Yeah, I did.
04:31A BCC for those who know.
04:32A little bit of skin cancer.
04:33Get it out before it gets bad.
04:35Oh, now we look like dicks.
04:36No, you don't.
04:37Well, at least of course you should know,
04:38you can barely notice the beige-coloured duvet on the side of your head.
04:43Good.
04:43You look great, mate.
04:44That's why I thought we should address it.
04:45So there you go.
04:46Put on sunblock there if you don't want one of these.
04:49I just had a little etiquette tip for...
04:51Tony, you sound like you're breaking all the rules.
04:53I'm worried about my etiquette tip for carpooling
04:56because it might sound a little sexist.
04:58Oh, boy.
04:58Do you know why sexist are you looking at women going,
05:00Sexist?
05:02So it might be offensive to some people on the panel.
05:05But I do find that women like plenty of warning
05:08before they give you a lift.
05:10Like, you can't just tell them halfway through the trip
05:12that you're in the back of the car.
05:17Especially if you don't know them, that's a big no-no.
05:20My biggest thing with this is it's a bit ick.
05:23Like, I find something so ick about seeing a man
05:26in the middle seat buckling up
05:27and then I'm going to get to work and try to take him seriously.
05:30Yeah.
05:31He's in the middle being like,
05:32Oh, corners.
05:34That's my CEO.
05:36You do, because people in cars kind of reveal
05:38their true personality.
05:39Yes.
05:39And that can be disturbing.
05:40Yeah.
05:41It's going to change relationships at work
05:42when you've heard your boss call a cyclist the R word.
05:45Yeah.
05:47You know, in some ways,
05:49I think ram raiding is kind of like...
05:51That's like the very first carpooling, isn't it?
05:53That's just carpooling with...
05:54That's just carpooling with a really brutal arrival.
05:57Yeah.
05:58All right, team two, I also have an answer for you.
06:01What is the question for this one from the last seven days of news?
06:04Six decades.
06:05Um, how long is my wife's quick shower?
06:10How long are some of Josh Thompson's jokes?
06:15There are more sketches, eh, Tomo?
06:17Oh...
06:17Do one, do one.
06:18Um, oh, okay.
06:23Well, well, well, you know what, you know what?
06:25Maybe, maybe, maybe I'll go home and think of something funny later.
06:28And then you'll all be real sorry
06:31when I put it in the group chat
06:32and, you know, won't have the same sort of presence
06:34How long were you waiting for Tomo to come up with something funny?
06:39Wow, your own team member.
06:41I know, I don't know what I'm doing.
06:42I don't know what I'm doing.
06:44I'm trying to think about what's been in the news.
06:45It's an election year.
06:47Are they changing the, um, the, the term?
06:50It's a good guess because it's a pretty hard clue.
06:52Term almost fits in there.
06:54The question is,
06:55how long have we operated single-sex state schools in New Zealand?
06:59Oh!
06:59Six decades.
07:00And there are no plans to build any more.
07:01That's the news.
07:02Despite research showing some students, especially girls,
07:04do better without those pesky boys hanging around,
07:07however, scientists do warn
07:08that if we do stop having all-boys schools,
07:10we may never be able to create another David Seymour.
07:14Oh!
07:16Bear that in mind.
07:17Holy future!
07:19I went to an all-girls school.
07:20Yes.
07:20And it was great.
07:21It was, like, you're not distracted by the boys
07:23and you don't have to worry when you're just,
07:24after sports, you go into the showers
07:26and you'll take off your clothes
07:27and soap each other up and you kiss them.
07:29Oh, and then what happens?
07:31And I have to agree as well
07:32because I went to an all-boys school
07:33and there's, like, nothing wrong with me
07:35apart from I constantly have to make jokes
07:36to hide any sort of emotions that I might have
07:38in case I show any vulnerability
07:39that the other boys can use as ammunition
07:41to destroy me on a fundamental level.
07:43But other than that, I'm fine.
07:45I think it's good to have co-ed schools
07:47because I think it's important for girls to know
07:49from a young age that men will let them down.
07:52Yeah.
07:54Oh, this front row is not having a bar.
07:56That's right.
07:57Like, oh, we're except really nice
07:59and we treat our women with respect
08:00and, um, we pay for their tickets to the Warriors, so...
08:03Oh, yeah.
08:05Well, I think the main concern is that, um,
08:07like, people think boys won't be able to concentrate
08:09if there's girls around, which is ridiculous.
08:11Am I right, ladies?
08:12Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
08:14no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
08:14no, no, no.
08:14Max.
08:15Oh, wow!
08:15Oh, wow!
08:16Oh, wow!
08:16Oh, wow!
08:21You all right?
08:22I'm better.
08:23Better now.
08:25I bet it's...
08:26Were you all boys?
08:26I was, I went to Temeru Boys High School, but I found a loophole where you could go to Temeru
08:31Girls High School if you took art history.
08:34Which was great for me, because obviously like every other red-blooded teenage boy, I was very interested in how
08:38Giotto got his intense colours in his Scroveni Chapel frescoes.
08:44But I was also quite interested in...
08:49Alright, we'll wrap it up there. Points now.
08:52Team One, you can have four. That's the number of goals for the All-Whites versus Chile on Monday night.
08:56First time we've beaten any South American football team. Great stuff.
08:59Team Two, $68 million. That's the price Kiwi company Allbirds sold for this week.
09:04It was once valued at about $7 billion. It's crashed quite a bit, but still, that's not a bad payoff.
09:10Means the star for Newsmakers goes to Team Two.
09:17And stars aren't just the annoying, blinky things in the sky each night. They are currency on this show.
09:21The team with the most stars at the end of the episode wins a truly topical prize.
09:24I'm going to show it to you now. There it is.
09:28I found this guy snooping around my garden, trying to give chocolate to my kids.
09:32So I grabbed whatever I had on hand, tied him up, threw him in the back of the ute and
09:35brought him here.
09:36He's now our winning team's problem. So that is your prize. That's what you'll be taking home.
09:40So that's what gave you the hickey?
09:41Yeah, that's...
09:44Alright, time to give your ears a festive Easter treat with a round of Slice of Seven.
09:48Today we're joined by Auckland pop rock band, Where's Jai?
09:54Alright, Where's Jai? I'm going to play you a song, Team One.
09:57It's a song about the news. You need to decipher what story they're singing about.
10:00Are you ready?
10:01Heck yeah, baby.
10:03Then go.
10:18Thank you, everyone.
10:20All right.
10:27Okay, let's go.
10:28Good luck.
10:30Let's go.
10:32You're welcome.
10:33From my home.
10:33I can't catch on me, but you'll repeat your lady high.
10:39Next time, take a twelfth, not my church and miss flea.
10:43Wish you nailed all the growth, yeah, we rise.
10:48They must, and numpa-lumpa.
10:52I know they'll be in jail soon, but I won't.
10:58I know they'll be in jail.
11:09Wow.
11:11Okay.
11:11That was great.
11:12That was great.
11:13Thank you, Wiz.
11:13That's awesome.
11:14There he is.
11:15He's there.
11:15It's fantastic.
11:16Well, the last word I heard was diabetes.
11:19And there was a truck full of choc.
11:21There was a truck full of choc and all I could think about was Josh.
11:25That was my stripper name for one day.
11:28And to be fair, you did like to back that thing up.
11:34Yeah, what is there?
11:35A truck full of choc?
11:37Some sort of get diabetes?
11:39Yes.
11:40Mugging an oompa-loompa?
11:41Yeah, there was a heist.
11:42Wasn't there something to do with Kit Kats?
11:44Like, pizza Kit Kats were stolen?
11:46Yeah, like an absurd amount of Kit Kats were stolen in like a, like Italy.
11:50I think it was Italy.
11:51Close enough.
11:52Scandal on the streets of Europe.
11:53A stripper truck containing 12 tonnes of Kit Kats chocolate bars was stolen while travelling
11:57from its production facility in Italy to a distribution plant in Poland.
12:01Classic criminals.
12:03Up to their old Twix.
12:06Yeah, I have heard, you know, stealing a Kit Kats can be pretty hard.
12:10I'd like it.
12:11It's no picnic.
12:15They made, they really made out with a huge bounty.
12:20Crunchies are nice.
12:24So they took tonnes of Kit Kats.
12:26There was actually one ton of Turkish Delights in there as well though, but they just left
12:30those.
12:30Oh!
12:31Yeah.
12:32You've got to steal a lot of Kit Kats to make money because I think the street value
12:35of this hall was about $1.2 million.
12:38Oh, okay.
12:39Or $10.5 million if you sell them in a petrol station.
12:43Tomo, what were you saying about the Kit Kat heist?
12:46Oh, well, I mean, you know, like...
12:49He's so distracted having two women on the team, I tell you.
12:51Doesn't he?
12:53Well, it's funny you say that because apparently the offenders were women because their pronouns
12:58were her she.
13:02Yeah, that's good.
13:03That's good.
13:05Alright, team two, your turn now.
13:07What is Where's Jai singing about here?
13:09Take it away.
13:17Oh, I've been tender, it's time to get started.
13:23But who wants to look through losers to find love?
13:32Meeting someone in a bar's getting hotter.
13:39We'll choose the loved ones based on their selfie face.
13:49For me, I've been tender, it's time to get fed to five lives.
13:51I've been tender, it's time to get close to five years.
13:59I'll try and keep the good ones.
14:02I'll try and keep it away.
14:05For my part of my life, I'll catch up and eat it.
14:07For my part of my life is mine.
14:09We'll see you who may not be back.
14:13I'll be the end, and I'll catch up and see you.
14:15I can't read all the time.
14:24Um, Tinder was mentioned a lot.
14:27Yeah.
14:27I know this. Do you know what I did recently as I extended the age range on my Tinder?
14:31Mm-hmm.
14:33Quite fast.
14:34I hope you went older, not younger, by the way.
14:37Yep.
14:41No, no, no, I know this.
14:46Tinder is, they're adding this awful feature where they're gonna access your camera roll,
14:52go through it and find out kind of what you're into, and then match people that way.
14:58Yeah.
14:58So for me, it'll be like hair thinning people who love jibboard.
15:02Yeah, that's right.
15:03Yeah, bang on, Hayley, DataGap, Tinder have released a new feature that will scan your camera roll
15:07to get a better sense of your personality, all in order to help you find your next partner.
15:12I mean, if I did this, I'd get paired up with someone who likes comedy and golf,
15:14and that's you, Paul.
15:17It must be awful, you know, for the younger people out there at this age of Tinder, Tinder,
15:21whatever, like...
15:22Because, yeah, you go out and there's like, well, it's all just sort of available people
15:26looking to hook up, now, for casual sex, as much as you want, no thanks, yuck, no doubt.
15:33And you can filter it down, I hear, to whatever sort of niche interests you're into,
15:37you don't have to build up a relationship last years and years before you finally say,
15:40wrap me up in tinfoil and line me on a bed of vegetables.
15:42Yeah.
15:44Do you know what a bear cam chicken is, if anyone...
15:48It is looking at more than that, it's also looking at your music library, and I listen
15:52to a lot of show tunes, so that is not finding me a husband.
15:56All right, you can and should check out Where's Jai's debut album.
16:01Fresh out of air on your favourite audio streaming platform, or ASP.
16:05Find them on the socials.
16:06Come on, there's even a...
16:07Yeah, I know, I've killed it.
16:08There's even a new single, turn it up, out later this month.
16:11Give it up one more time for Where's Jai.
16:20Team 1, you can have 82, that's the number of PGA golfing victories Tiger Woods has had,
16:25just in case you now mistake him for a guy who constantly rolls cars.
16:29He has had some wins.
16:30Team 2, $29.90, that is the new living wage as of yesterday.
16:34The minimum wage though, which employers are legally required to pay, only $23.95.
16:38That means Team 1 gets the star.
16:40Well done Team 1.
16:43All right, the ads are anon, but first it's the Burger Fuel Brain Grill for Team 1.
16:48We are heading back to 1981 to test your knowledge before you were born, apart from Paul.
16:53All right, have a look at this one Team 1, there's a clip, tell me what's going on.
16:57Let me just tell you what I think about it.
16:59I think it was a disgraceful performance and I think it should never be permitted to happen again.
17:04I think it was a very poor performance, one of the worst things I have ever seen.
17:10Well I think he's just talking about his hairdresser.
17:15Maybe 1980, well is it, it's got to be, well cricket, what is it?
17:19Well it's, I mean, you know, it's the underarm bowl.
17:24Oh, it's the underarm bowl for sure.
17:26That's why I love how you think I know about it.
17:29Oh, you know what it is, obviously.
17:31Even I knew that one.
17:33Oh, did you?
17:34You date one guy who likes cricket and suddenly your head's full of shit.
17:38You're dead right.
17:44Yeah, you're dead right Tony, well done.
17:46That was Richie Beno, one of the most impersonated cricket commentators and newsreaders.
17:50Giving a very accurate reckon on the disgusting underarm cricket bowl where evil Australian
17:54Trevor Chappell cowardly bowled underarm to heroic Kiwi Brian McKechnie.
17:58Preventing him from hitting the six runs needed to tie the game.
18:01After that Australia learned their lesson and never cheated at sport again.
18:06Time for us to have a break.
18:08Don't disappear because when we come back we're heading to the warm waters of Club Topicana.
18:22Like Jesus on Easter Sunday we are back.
18:25Unlike Jesus we're not going to walk on the water, we're going to swim in it.
18:27Head on down to Club Topicana, play the steel drums.
18:41Lovely conga slash centipede.
18:45Club Topicana is brought to you by the pinnacle providers of Pineapple's Dole.
18:48Pineapple.
18:49The vegan's hand grenade.
18:50Inside this taste explosion, some stories from the week that got my attention.
18:55I want to hear a little more about.
18:56Let's crack into it with our first one.
18:58Here we go.
18:59Alright, bit of pineapple on that.
19:01Tova O'Brien had her first day on Breakfast TV this week.
19:04I normally sleep in long after morning TV is over.
19:06So what's it like?
19:07Show me some unlikely scenes from Breakfast TV please.
19:12Hello and welcome to the Breakfast News.
19:15Where we update you with everything you saw on your phone before you went to bed last night.
19:24Ooh, what are we rustling up in the kitchen today Sarah?
19:27What are you cooking?
19:28Ooh, meth.
19:35Oh, rise and shine motherfuckers.
19:38Can't pay the f***ing diem.
19:39Let's get into the f***ing news.
19:41I'm John Campbell.
19:47And this morning on the weather, honestly it's just too dark to tell.
19:58It's not going to be worth it, it's not going to be worth it.
20:00Okay, okay, okay.
20:04Ooh.
20:05Oh, we just came back a bit sooner than I thought.
20:08Thank you to Springbrook School for that wonderful recital.
20:10I'll be back at the couch right after I flush.
20:26So this morning we will be interviewing Christopher Luxon.
20:29And while we interview him, he will be sitting on a dunk tank.
20:33Now, if he refers to himself as a CEO instead of the Prime Minister,
20:36he will be going in the water.
20:43Yeah, hi, we're the stand-ins for Chris Luxon.
20:52I actually can't swim, so can you not dunk me?
20:55Oh, I know you guys, you used to run a hairline.
21:04Alright, and time for the morning aerobics.
21:07Oh, no, no, no.
21:08I won't be joining in.
21:09I'll just watch.
21:29I'm finished.
21:34Kia ora, good morning, welcome to Breakfast TV.
21:36They said they'd never have two female hosts.
21:38They said we'd bicker and fight.
21:40Which we wouldn't, it's so crazy.
21:42Which is absolutely easy.
21:47I'm just here to watch.
21:52Alright, back to the pineapple for our next story.
21:56Great work, teams.
21:58This week, the Otago Golf Club's Women's Championship
22:00was won by a 10-year-old.
22:02Congratulations to you.
22:03But how young can these sports stars get?
22:06Let's find out.
22:07Show me some examples of toddlers
22:09playing professional sport, please.
22:14Well, that was a great game out there today, Jonesy.
22:17What did you think of the team?
22:23Um, could you not, could you not lick the microphone, please?
22:29I'm hungry.
22:39I'm not telling you to wear a bib because I think you're a baby.
22:42I know you're not a baby.
22:43I'm saying wear the bib because it's part of the netball uniform!
22:46Come on!
22:47You're a wing attack!
22:54Schumacher, leading the field,
22:56has pulled into the pit stop for a quick change.
22:59Oh no, he wants to do up his own buckles.
23:10Alright team, huddle up, huddle up, huddle up, huddle up.
23:12Great game, great game.
23:13We're going to keep on playing with all this hustle.
23:14I'm loving it, I'm loving it.
23:15Let's rehydrate.
23:20Good stuff.
23:23Good.
23:24She's done.
23:25Here we go.
23:26Good stuff.
23:27Get out there!
23:29Right, back to our pineapple we go for our next story.
23:32Aww.
23:34Aww.
23:34Well no, you would stay on that one then.
23:36Toddlers playing professional sports.
23:37This better be f***ing good.
23:42It's really not.
23:46And America's Tommy Tippy Cup is now New Zealand's Tommy Tippy Cup!
23:56Worth it.
24:01So glad I didn't go to the pineapple.
24:03Here we go.
24:04New research suggests having your pet dog sleep in your bed overnight can be good, but why
24:09just dogs?
24:09Why can't we live with all creatures great and small?
24:12Give me some examples of animal flatmates please.
24:15Hey man, I'm home!
24:16Oh my god!
24:17You're not going to believe who I saw at the shops!
24:20Who?
24:27Jim!
24:28There's someone at the flap for you!
24:38G'day Mittens.
24:39Good day.
24:39I made us a coffee.
24:40You want a coffee?
24:41Cheers mate.
24:41Yeah.
24:48Yep, flat dinner's almost ready.
24:50I'm worried it's going to be a little bit spicy.
24:52Would you mind being the guinea pig?
25:02Who pooped in the lounge?
25:05Because it smells amazing.
25:11Someone's had a busy day.
25:14Alright, some April Fool's prankster has put a fake shark fin in the water.
25:17It's time to wrap it up.
25:18Play the steel drums!
25:19Sit back.
25:20Bow!
25:22That wasn't even a sentence.
25:31Points for Club Topicana.
25:33You can have three.
25:34The number of cheeses in the new burger for your Parmageddon burger.
25:37Came out yesterday.
25:38You got your cheddar, mascarpone and Parmesan cheese.
25:40Team two you can have the price a bottle of wine sold for on the weekend.
25:43New world record $1.4 million in New Zealand money.
25:471945 Domaine de la Reine Conti.
25:50Go nicely with the Parmageddon burger I think.
25:52Good news to team two, you get another star.
25:54Well done.
25:59Staying with you team two.
26:00Need your focus.
26:01Your time for the burger fuel brain grill.
26:03I've got a picture for you from 1981.
26:04What is happening here?
26:06It's quite hard to tell that she killed you because that photo's quite crowded.
26:11Really good.
26:13It's just, um, Mr Corbett your replacement wives have arrived.
26:19A Lady Di lookalike competition is from 1981.
26:21The year of the royal wedding between Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer.
26:25It was quite a wedding wasn't it?
26:26It was.
26:26Diana becoming a household name and something of a style icon to people throughout the world.
26:30A fairytale wedding both Charles and Diana lived happily ever after.
26:33Okay.
26:35Let's head backstage for a break.
26:37Don't disappear though because surely we're jumping back into the DeLorean for a game of
26:40history here on Seven Days.
26:43.
26:53Welcome back to Seven Days.
26:55Thanks for sticking with us.
26:57April 1st yesterday.
26:58So we thought we'd try and fool our panelists with a round of history.
27:01Teams, point your faces at your screens and let's peer back through the mists of time.
27:07A faked volcanic eruption in Auckland's inactive rangitoto island has sparked a debate
27:11about the impact and appropriateness
27:13of guerrilla-style marketing or publicity stunts.
27:15This is how you get on TV.
27:20Stage a fake eruption to hijack the media,
27:23spreading the word about your new internet venture.
27:25But the Department of Conservation isn't laughing.
27:28Rangatoto just erupted.
27:32And all of a sudden, Rangatoto Island started to erupt.
27:36Woo-hoo!
27:45Oh, we're glad people can have a bit of a bloody smile about it
27:48and a laugh, you know.
27:54That was an April Fool's slash marketing stunt back in 2007.
27:59Group of larrikins pranked Auckland into thinking Rangatoto was erupting.
28:02You saw ex-all-black Mark Alice in there in the clip.
28:05The group also included former sports cafe human cannonball Ben Hickey.
28:09Ben joins us tonight.
28:12Teams, your job is to guess which of these fine gentlemen before you is Ben.
28:15Also in the line-up are a small business owner,
28:18an art director and a drummer.
28:20Team two, you're going to begin this evening.
28:23Larrikins.
28:24Larrikins?
28:25Larrikins on Rangatoto.
28:26Can I do things to them?
28:31Sorry, guys.
28:32No, no, no, stop me.
28:33You know that, Tim.
28:35Well, I used to be a drummer
28:37and you develop quite a strong left calf muscle riding the hi-hat.
28:41So is it OK if I just do a quick inspection of the calf?
28:44Is that all right?
28:45OK.
28:45Ah, he talked!
28:46OK, there we go.
28:48What if he's right-footed?
28:50OK.
28:50That would be on the kick.
28:51Mm-hm.
28:52Oh.
28:53Cool.
28:55What did you figure out over there, Tomo?
28:57Please don't go...
29:01Did that tell you anything?
29:03About what?
29:09OK.
29:09I also used to play drums.
29:12I would just like to go down the line and get in to hold a beat.
29:15OK.
29:15Sure, yes, nice.
29:16Number one, just give us a simple clap and hold the beat.
29:20Way to go.
29:22Not the drummer.
29:23Not the drummer.
29:24OK.
29:25He's a salsa dancer.
29:26I didn't ask for a flamenco, bro.
29:29Number two, just give us a nice steady beat.
29:33Oh.
29:33Oh.
29:36Ah, Mickey, you're so fun.
29:37You're so fun, you're so fun, you're blummer.
29:38Yeah, Mickey.
29:40He's a potential drummer.
29:41Yeah, yeah.
29:42Syncopation there.
29:42Number three.
29:44Ah.
29:45Oh.
29:46Yeah.
29:47That's our drummer.
29:48Number four, just for fun.
29:49No.
29:52Not quite my tempo, my friend.
29:55Number three's definitely our drummer.
29:57OK.
29:57He was very impressive.
29:58Number one's quite arty farty with the floral shirt.
30:00Mm-hmm.
30:01Mm.
30:01Number four feels like, I feel like I recognise his face the most from that.
30:06Yeah.
30:06Mm.
30:07I think he's Mark Ellis.
30:08So I, no.
30:10We're not identifying Mark Ellis.
30:12Mark Ellis looks like Mark Ellis, but he was the other larriker.
30:14Oh, OK.
30:14My guess would be, art director, small business owner in number two.
30:18I haven't really asked him many questions, but he's wearing a tapered jean.
30:22Number three's our drummer with the impressive syncopation.
30:24Number four's our larrikin.
30:25Do you agree?
30:26Love that.
30:27OK, locked in.
30:28Team two thinks it's number four.
30:29Thinks Ben Hickey's number four.
30:30Team one, your turn.
30:31As I was watching the video, I was like, OK, we've got men in their 30s,
30:35so now we'll be looking for sort of a middle-aged man.
30:38Mm.
30:38Shit.
30:42So one of them is a small business owner,
30:43so which one looks like he has heaps of time on his hands?
30:48To be fair, one's an art director,
30:51so they've all got a lot of time on their hands.
30:53And one's the drummer, so he's got timing on his hands.
30:58Well, one of them was also the human cannonball on Sports Cafe, they said.
31:03So could you want us put your hands in the air as if you are being a cannonball?
31:06Oh.
31:09Great cannonball.
31:09Oh, that's like the YMCA.
31:13OK, no, that was good.
31:14No, that was good, though.
31:15I think number two had, like, he actually was bracing, like, his heart.
31:19These guys went for the dive,
31:20which if you've ever been in a human cannonball,
31:21that's absolutely ridiculous.
31:22I think number two could be the cannonball based on the hands alone.
31:26OK, yeah.
31:27But, I mean, that's, you know, that's just expert to expert.
31:29Sure, sure, sure.
31:31OK, so which one do you think is the...
31:33I think number two's the cannonball who lit the mountain on fire,
31:36fancy shirt, art director, drummer...
31:39Could be, yeah.
31:39Small business owner.
31:40OK, all right.
31:41I'm going to defer to Tony because he's just whining on about it.
31:44Yeah.
31:46All right.
31:47So, team one, you think Ben is number two.
31:49Team two, you think Ben is number four.
31:51Can I ask Ben Hickey,
31:52who in 2007, along with Mark Ellis,
31:54tricked everyone into thinking Ranga Toto was erupting.
31:57To step forward, please.
32:08Thanks for joining us, Ben.
32:10The big question, of course, is Tony right?
32:12Is that the correct arms for a cannonball?
32:14Absolutely, Tony.
32:15See?
32:16That's one professional to another.
32:19If you're going to fly into the sky...
32:21Yeah.
32:22...aerodynamics and landing, you are there.
32:25Oh.
32:25I'd like to get on to the sports cafe cannonball situation,
32:28but first, the footage that we just saw there,
32:32talk me through it.
32:32How did it come about?
32:34Well, I was trying to launch a new venture.
32:37Right.
32:37Went to Mark Ellis and said,
32:39mate, I need some money.
32:41Can you help?
32:42Kind of heard a bit more about it.
32:43His eyes lit up a bit and he went,
32:44I'm in, one condition.
32:47I said, what's that, mate?
32:48He goes, we're going to blow up Ranga Toto for the launch.
32:51And I said, mate, 100%.
32:54So, OK, so how did you do it?
32:56Was it under the cover of darkness?
32:58And, you know, what chemicals were involved
32:59and were you scared?
33:01Oh, it was a military operation.
33:02So we hired a barge.
33:04Yep.
33:04We'd done our H2 Hasbro explosives licence.
33:09Hasbro.
33:10Gives us authority to drag three tonnes of explosives each.
33:14So we dragged three, nine tonnes of explosives
33:16to the top of Ranga Toto.
33:17What explosives were they?
33:19Phosphorus.
33:19Phosphorus, because of the smoke.
33:21Carbon neutral event.
33:23Right.
33:23Wow.
33:24Which fed the burgeling Pahutakawa forester
33:27on Ranga Toto.
33:28Right.
33:29Killed it.
33:30Yeah.
33:31Whatever.
33:32Yeah.
33:32It's being set on fire.
33:34Very environmentally.
33:35And what was the moment
33:36where you got the biggest buzz?
33:37Like, what, we saw the lighting up
33:39and all the rest of it?
33:39Because that would have been early morning, I guess.
33:41Yeah, it took all night.
33:43So we went over eight o'clock
33:44in the middle of darkness, head torches.
33:46We had a little four-wheel drive
33:47which got us to the top of the mountain.
33:49It was a very organised affair.
33:51We had about ten pods of ten 44-gallon drubs.
33:54Detonated the first one.
33:56And then it was about, you know,
33:58the intensity was way bigger than we thought.
34:06What they hadn't told us was they can self-combust.
34:13Oh.
34:14So for safety reasons,
34:15on the other 80 44-gallon drums,
34:17we had the lids on.
34:19And when they started self-combusting,
34:21these lids were flying around like killer frisbees.
34:24So when we're diving for our lives,
34:26it was like,
34:27I don't know if this is such a good idea.
34:29But you did get a lot of grief, didn't you?
34:31The feedback.
34:32Did that surprise you?
34:33No, that's what we're after.
34:35We were hoping to get arrested.
34:37That was the...
34:37Oh, really?
34:38We wanted more press we could get out of it.
34:40Yeah, Mark managed to get arrested for another thing,
34:43but anyway.
34:46Because a lot of adrenaline, right?
34:48You just blow up this volcano
34:49and we get back to the mainland
34:51expecting the police to be there.
34:52And there's no police, it's like,
34:53oh, what do we have to do?
34:55Yeah.
34:56So you robbed a liquor store.
34:59Anyway, after a few days' dock,
35:01they were very disappointed.
35:02Mm.
35:04And in lieu of pressing charges,
35:06they made us plant Mototapu out
35:09for three weekends in a row.
35:11Right.
35:11And did financial reparations too, I think,
35:13Mark chipped in.
35:14No.
35:16Right, give it up for Ben Hickey.
35:18Blew up Ranga Tauru.
35:19Thank you, Ben.
35:21So, well done, Team C.
35:23Let's find out the rest.
35:24Can our small business owner step forward, please?
35:26Yeah.
35:26Well done.
35:27On the fourth,
35:28our art director,
35:29where are you at the end?
35:31Yes, Ben.
35:31Let's do it.
35:31And our drummer.
35:33Yes.
35:33None of us.
35:35Well done, Team 1.
35:37Four for four.
35:38The star is yours.
35:39Yes.
35:40Good work.
35:41All right, time for a break, but stick around.
35:43We'll have the best Easter treat for all after the break.
35:46A brand new round of Jeremy's Special Game.
35:48I can't wait.
35:49See you soon.
36:01You are back with seven days.
36:03Good on you.
36:03Just in time for my favourite round,
36:05which people in the biz are calling Jeremy's Special Game,
36:08because that's its name.
36:09This week we're playing Easter Reck the News,
36:11where the teams have to answer questions
36:12based on a compilation of clips
36:14I'm testing their memory and attention to detail.
36:17Now, in order to answer questions that I'll ask afterwards,
36:19you need to make a noise with your chosen...
36:22You can have...
36:22That is a vibra-slap.
36:24No, you hold it like this.
36:26You hit that thing.
36:27There you go.
36:27No, hold this bit.
36:29Hold the nozzle.
36:29The handle.
36:30Dingle.
36:32Didn't have enough vibra-slap,
36:33so someone gets the agogo block.
36:35Oh, I'll tell you.
36:35I think I'm better at that.
36:37Team 1, you're all triangles.
36:39We get scrap metal and they get triangles.
36:42It's a vibra-slap.
36:43I've already got one of those
36:44and this is not how you use it.
36:48That's how I do.
36:49I always whack it like that.
36:51I think I might have one of these.
36:55The front and the back.
36:57So, here we go.
36:58I need your eyes on the screens.
37:00I'm going to ask you questions
37:01about this rather complex compilation.
37:03Here we go.
37:04We actually had to ditch our interview on this this morning.
37:07There's probably some other drugs involved.
37:10What makes you trust them?
37:11I don't trust anybody.
37:13I don't trust you.
37:13No, we want to keep this simple and clear
37:16and we're conscious that that can make things very confusing.
37:19China's ambitions are sky high
37:21and says it will get humans to the moon by 2030.
37:24We're looking at a stupid idea
37:26that Stu had about five years ago.
37:29It's known as a tax haven
37:30and a millionaire's playground.
37:34The ribbon cut by two Canterbury lads.
37:37And then once you've got a good old mix
37:38you would spoon it into a muffin tin.
37:40Just hold our muffin tin.
37:41Arnold Schwarzenegger's son, Joseph Vena
37:44took home top honours at his first competition.
37:48There we go.
37:49All right, I'm going to ask questions about that clip.
37:51Buzz in using your instrument if you know the answer.
37:53You get a point if you get it right, get it wrong,
37:55the other team gets a chance.
37:56All right, most points at the end of the game gets the star.
37:58Here we go.
37:59In clip two, Tiger Woods is seen after his car crash
38:02next to a fire hydrant.
38:03What colour was it?
38:04Hayley.
38:05It was red.
38:06Correct.
38:06You get a point, team two.
38:08That's how it works.
38:11In clip six, a car enthusiast is seen wearing a high-vis vest
38:14saying his friend had a stupid idea.
38:16What was his friend's name?
38:17Tinkle, Tony.
38:18Well, it wasn't me, but I'm going to say Darren.
38:20No, it wasn't Darren.
38:21That means you get a free go, team two.
38:24Ray.
38:25No, it was Stu.
38:26All right.
38:27In clip four, Nicola Willis is addressing the media.
38:29How many other people are on stage with her?
38:31Yes.
38:31A go-go block.
38:33Two others, a sign interpreter and another person.
38:36No one likes a smart-ass, but yes, you're right.
38:39In clip one, Ryan Bridge has seen ad-libbing during an interview.
38:41What letter is behind his head?
38:43Yes, Tony.
38:43That would be the letter H.
38:45Correct.
38:46The Herald.
38:47In clip nine, Prime Minister Chris Luxon
38:49has seen cutting the ribbon to Christchurch's new stadium.
38:51What colour is the grass?
38:52A go-go again.
38:54Green.
38:54Yes, it is.
38:55That's a good...
38:57In clip eight, Dan Carter has seen kicking a ball.
39:00Did he look handsome?
39:01Team one.
39:02Hell yeah.
39:05Incorrect.
39:06He was wearing a shirt.
39:08Look at him.
39:09OK.
39:10In clip three, President Donald Trump
39:11has seen berating the media.
39:13Which president is in the portrait behind him?
39:15Josh.
39:16No, President, you photoshopped your stupid face over the top of it.
39:19Let's go to the clip and have a look.
39:20Oh, God.
39:26I didn't see that.
39:28Wow.
39:29Very good.
39:30We go to clip five now.
39:31China wants to get people to the moon by when?
39:34Yes, Tony.
39:35Again, it wasn't me.
39:37Why do you hit your triangle?
39:38Oh, I fake it because I didn't know.
39:40But Bridget hit.
39:402030.
39:41Let's have a look.
39:42Let's go to the clip.
39:43Cut humans to the moon by 2030.
39:46Correct.
39:46That is absolutely right.
39:47In clip ten, their hosts are seen spooning ingredients into what?
39:51Oh, I think we had a triangle just there.
39:53Yes, was that you, Bridget?
39:54Muffin tin.
39:55Let's have a look.
39:56Was it a muffin tin?
39:57It's spooned into a muffin tin.
39:58Just hold our mouth.
39:59Oh, nice.
40:01In clip seven, Pope Leo is seen riding in his Popemobile
40:03while being watched by a lot of people wearing hats.
40:05What make of car is the Popemobile?
40:07Yes, a go-go block.
40:09Volkswagen.
40:09Volkswagen, let's have a look.
40:11It's known as a tax hike.
40:13Mercedes!
40:14Mercedes!
40:15Mercedes!
40:15Mercedes, we didn't get it.
40:16If Mercedes is correct, you do get a chance there.
40:17Team one.
40:18What?
40:19Get it wrong, it goes to the other team to answer.
40:21You did it right after you watched the clip again.
40:22Yes.
40:22I watched the fucking clip.
40:24Yes.
40:25But that's because I screwed up.
40:27You didn't watch the clip.
40:27All right.
40:28In clip 11, Arnold Schwarzenegger's son
40:30is seen winning a bodybuilding competition.
40:32What states are being held in?
40:34Bridget, you dinked.
40:35Can we say Colorado?
40:37You're going to go with Colorado?
40:38Let's go to Colorado.
40:39See, you have to have a look to find out if they're right or not.
40:41This game is screwed up.
40:43All right.
40:44There you go.
40:45Colorado, you're correct.
40:47That is good stuff.
40:48That's another point for team one.
40:49That means it's 6-4.
40:51Team one gets the star.
40:54Nearly time for a break,
40:55but not before we give you at home
40:56the chance to play the Burger Fuel Brain Grill.
40:58Take a look at this.
41:00Then head to the 7 Days Instagram or Facebook pages.
41:03Let us know your caption.
41:04You're going to be pocketing $100 a burger for yum, yum, yum.
41:07OK, just time to squeeze one more break in
41:09before we wrap this episode up.
41:10Be back in a tick with captions.
41:20Oh, you did it.
41:24You came back.
41:25I love it.
41:26Let's wrap this party up with a game of captions.
41:28That I give the comedians a pretty picture for the week's news.
41:30All they have to do is come up with the appropriate caption.
41:32Team one, you're up first.
41:33Here's your pick.
41:34So, it's Jurassic Park Te Awamuru.
41:38Oh, it's men resorting to other creatures
41:40rather than a fish in their Tinder profile.
41:44I think this is where Brian Tarmakey
41:46gets the skin for his plastic surgery.
41:50Judith Collins shaves off her pubes.
41:55Is this two men off to drain their lizards?
42:00Is it blind rat catchers decimate local lizard population?
42:06Corbett's servants prepare their master's breakfast.
42:09Bring me the iguanas!
42:13How did the lizards not see these guys coming with those vests on?
42:18Is this iguana no, I love it?
42:23That is trappers unloading cold, stunned iguanas
42:26from the back of a pickup truck in Hollywood, Florida.
42:29Gee.
42:29Doesn't explain why, but there you go.
42:31Team one, back to you.
42:32Caption this.
42:33Oh, maybe I shouldn't have been stockpiling petrol in my garage.
42:39Is this a ginger person walking outside on a 20-degree day?
42:44Is it, um, ooh, these indigestion adverts
42:47are getting out of control.
42:50This is what happens when you forget to put a glass of water
42:53in the microwave when you heat up a sack of beans.
42:58What are they called?
42:59Why do you say it like that?
43:00A bean bag.
43:00A wheat bag, yes.
43:02Oh, I've got a sore back.
43:03Bring me my sack of beans.
43:05Is it Jeremy Corbett has medium-buttered chicken?
43:13You won't be surprised to hear that is a firefighter
43:15walking amidst flames as he fights a 12-hour blaze
43:18at a cardboard recycling plant in Mexico.
43:20Team two, you have a go.
43:22What's the caption for this picture?
43:23Oh, this is...
43:25Lama mia.
43:27Here we go again.
43:29Why, why?
43:32Um, woman checks if it's a real threat or a false alarma.
43:37Woman starting to think Labradoodle may not be purebred.
43:42Um, is this the new Bond girl?
43:45I'll pack a lot of you in.
43:47LAUGHTER
43:49LAUGHTER
43:56That is a handler.
43:57The handler's on the right waiting with their alpaca
44:00in the British Alpaca Society National Show
44:02in Stafford in England.
44:03Great round of words and pictures.
44:06Thank you, teams.
44:06All that's left to do is announce the winner of the evening.
44:09Let's look at the star chart.
44:10And boy, oh, boy, they've done it.
44:13Congratulations.
44:14Team one!
44:17APPLAUSE
44:20Here is your prize.
44:23Take this guy.
44:24Take good care of the Easter bunny.
44:25Got a big gig on Saturday night.
44:27Don't party too hard on Friday.
44:28Thank you all at home for watching
44:29and you and our live studio audience.
44:31Be safe out there this Easter.
44:32Please help me to thank Paul, Bridget, Tony, Hayley, Lou and Josh.
44:36We'll see you on Saturdays on Saturdays.
44:38Half day one.
44:40APPLAUSE
44:45Thanks, New Zealand On Air.
44:46I look forward to working with you in the future.
44:48Goodbye, you, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big...
44:50LAUGHTER
44:51Whoo!
44:52Whoo!
44:54LAUGHTER
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