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  • 6 hours ago
My Dad Is Poseidon πŸ’• πŸ’•
Transcript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug! Your launch today, Beach!
00:33Slow-ass sea slug!
01:01Filthy scavengers!
01:02When Lord Poseidon ruled the Deep, you Skyrats swore never to breach the surface!
01:09Poseidon?
01:11Fish food ages ago.
01:38Sire! Zeus' people just breached your outer barrier!
01:41I'm retired. Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:48Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console? I'm gonna go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire! You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else. Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:29My king! Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:53What did you do? Turn me back right now!
02:58No!
03:02Sire! The entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command!
03:05Lead us against Olympus! We beg you!
03:08Zeus' brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years.
03:11I'm retired. I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:21Screw power struggles. Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:30Fight!
03:38Get your hands off me, creep!
03:40Sorry! I didn't mean to...
03:46Wait. Pointy ears. A dryage? What's a forest nintz doing here?
03:54He's just a regular human. A total nerd.
03:58Damn it. The Aphrodisians kicking in.
04:10You're burning up down here. Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged. This whole thing is Dylan's sick setup. If I don't mate someone before the timer runs out,
04:21I die. I really need this guy.
04:30Goddamn. You really know how to flip my switch.
04:39I need more. A lot more.
04:50Don't stop. Harder. Squeeze me tighter.
05:01What the hell did you do to me last night?
05:05Hey. I put in a lot of work. Don't tell me you forgot.
05:10Leora! I know you're in there! Nowhere left to run!
05:14Goddamn it. He tracked me.
05:29Leora. You're my fiancΓ©. You belong with me. Come home.
05:34Get away! Dylan!
05:37As the leader of the Sacher, you actually drugged me.
05:44Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt?
05:48You slept with someone?
05:50Who screwed up my plan?!
05:54Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her.
05:57News flash, tough guy. Real men don't need tricks.
06:00You talking to the boss like that, punk?
06:08So you're the loser who ruined everything?
06:11You actually fucked this beach bomb shut-in?!
06:20Touch him again and you'll regret it!
06:22Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value.
06:25Can't push too hard yet.
06:29I won't kill him.
06:31But you're coming with me, Leora.
06:32Yeah.
06:35Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:43Forget today ever happened.
06:45Go back to your life.
06:59Seriously? Can't I just play my game for once?
07:12Those assholes are back already.
07:14What are you talking about?
07:21Hey, pencil neck! I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:24Either get the hell out of this water, or kneel and call me daddy.
07:28Dylan Hook, speak up man, my ears are shot.
07:31Keep acting tough!
07:32Jax can stomp boulders to dust!
07:35Even Nereus' sea boat give him a wide bird!
07:49You asked for this.
08:03You one-shotted pants-topping orcer?!
08:06Who the hell are you?!
08:07Who the hell are you?!
08:18Asshole. Using my divine power to barbecue. Hope you die alone and miserable.
08:24What are you whining about?
08:26Nothing.
08:27Heat's too low. Sprinkle this and baste it again.
08:35Molly? Gods make heroes with it, you seasoned food?
08:41Huh. Tide barrier just got tripped.
08:50Mommy, is daddy stationed way out in the deep sea? Is that why he never comes to see me?
08:55Yeah, baby. But he retired recently. We're gonna find him now.
09:09I'm badly wounded. I don't have much time. Find Lily's real father. Leave her with him. I just hope you
09:17two can live in peace.
09:21Far away from those bastards on Mount Olympus.
09:36There it is.
09:45Liara's wounded bad. Drag them both back to the Dillon. Lifetime of easy living.
09:54What the hell was that?
09:57Nothing. Just swapped a bug.
10:02That girl from five years ago. You came looking for me?
10:07She's your daughter. We need you now.
10:11So you're my dad? You're actually pretty handsome.
10:16This aura? She's got my blood.
10:24Who did this?
10:26Don't worry about it. Just keep Lily safe.
10:33Mommy. Mommy!
10:36Mommy!
10:52It's too late, boss. Her heartbeat's fading fast.
11:10Somebody help me!
11:24Give me a name, Leora. Who did this? I'm going to tear them apart.
11:31It was...
11:53Your father sold you to me a long time ago. You're my fiancΓ©, my property. You filthy whore!
11:59Spread your legs for some stray dog!
12:04But at least your bloodline is still worth something.
12:12No! Let go!
12:16With nymph blood in my veins, even Olympus will bow to me.
12:27I... got careless. Diving near a shipwreck. My fault.
12:32Shipwreck? Those cuts are surgical, Leora. Someone did this to you.
12:41You're just a regular guy. Stay out of it.
12:45Boss? Soup's ready.
12:52If I don't make it, promise me you'll take care of Lily. She's all we have left.
12:59She's safe. Now drink.
13:04Soup isn't going to fix this, Jack.
13:12Jack, you...
13:15Ambrosia residue? Golden apple sap? I studied this in grad's time.
13:20Greek meth said it could raise the dead for mortals. Where the hell did you get this?
13:25More. Try it.
13:37These ingredients, where did you get them?
13:45It's my first time meeting Daddy. I gotta find the prettiest shell for him.
13:49Eat this!
14:04I gotta find the prettiest shell for me.
14:05I'm gonna die.
14:06I'm gonna die.
14:09I'm gonna die.
14:10It's my first time at theοΏ½οΏ½ Littles.
14:13Which new clip is?
14:14What a lively little snack.
14:16Gulp, you down, and my power doubles!
14:26I just fished this stuff out of the bay.
14:29You want more?
14:30I've got a ton of it laying around.
14:32This guy's luck is insane.
14:36A random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods?
14:41Is this coast a secret Olympian vault?
14:44You're safe here, Liria.
14:49We've got a kid together now.
14:51I'm not letting anything touch you or Lily.
14:56Jack, I'm grateful, but I...
14:58Daddy, help!
15:02Something's trying to eat me!
15:05Lily's in trouble!
15:12I'm not tasty.
15:14My mommy and daddy are super strong.
15:17Please don't eat me!
15:22Divine power runs through this girl.
15:26Devour you.
15:27And I might even claim the Sea King's throne.
15:32Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
15:37Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
15:52Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
16:04You disgusting freak.
16:06What do you think you're doing to my daughter?
16:09Mommy.
16:11I've got you, baby.
16:15Touch my kid again, and I'll rip my head off your shoulders.
16:19Ha.
16:20You ruined my meal?
16:23Wait. The baby mama herself. Perfect.
16:32Two courses for the price of one!
16:41You bitch!
16:47Jack, take Lily and run. Go!
16:55Run. From the Lycian Hydro, you pathetic little insects.
17:07You...Posei?
17:09That kid's his. No wonder the power's so pure.
17:14That's Poseidon's bloodline. If I stay, I'm dead.
17:24What the hell just happened? It ran?
17:27Damn, Leoya. Your powers are badass. You straight up scared the monster off.
17:33Me? No way. Even at full strength I couldn't take that thing. I'm still recovering.
17:39Wait. Maybe it sensed the guardian of this sea vault?
17:44Whatever. Let's get home. That thing might circle back.
17:51About that monster.
17:57Failed at the perfect time? Figures. He's just a regular guy after all.
18:06Oh.
18:08Oh.
18:103
18:14Toosh.
18:16Toosh.
18:17Toosh.
18:20Toosh.
18:42My liege, have mercy.
18:45I didn't know she was your daughter, I swear it.
18:47Please, spare my life.
18:49No problem.
18:50Thank you, my lord.
18:51Thank you for your mercy.
18:52Try to remember that in your next life.
19:07Enjoying the show?
19:17My king!
19:18We had nothing to do with the Hydra.
19:20We swear.
19:21Listen to me.
19:22If any of you take one step near my daughter again, I will skin you alive.
19:28Now, get the fuck out of my sight.
19:31Yes!
19:31Guess my leash!
19:33Guess my leash!
19:44My love, since you refused to tell me who did this to you, I'll just have to dig up the
19:49truth myself.
19:58That wild god pans always pulling power grabs, but Poseidon, guy's long gone.
20:05Probably fish food in some trench, right?
20:07All right, sea god myth, ancient history.
20:10Want to bet?
20:11There ain't no sea king anymore.
20:23The world's the same as ever.
20:26The dead are louder than the living.
20:28Who the hell are you?
20:30You're in Hades territory, asshole!
20:43Poseidon?
20:54Is Hades still breathing?
20:55If he is, tell him to get his ass out here.
21:02Who the fuck is tearing up my domain?
21:10I don't have time for this.
21:12I'm not wasting it on you.
21:13I need a background check.
21:19You know who I am?
21:21Hades is ace.
21:22You crash my spot, you die here!
21:47Little fish.
21:55Hades staff?
21:57One shot?
21:59The sea king!
22:00He's real!
22:03Hades!
22:04You hiding?
22:05Come out!
22:06Or this whole place turns into driftwood!
22:09One!
22:11Two!
22:15Thank the fates!
22:17The boss is here!
22:23Boss!
22:24This bum!
22:30You idiot!
22:31Piss off the Lord of the Oceans and we all drown.
22:34You're done.
22:35Get out.
22:36In front of Poseidon.
22:37You're ants.
22:38I'm saving your worthless heights.
22:45My Lord, is this handling satisfactory?
22:48I'm not here for fun.
22:50Dig up everything on that Leora and her daughter.
22:57Understood.
22:58I'll mobilize every team right now.
23:00You have three days.
23:01I'll be back.
23:05Everyone!
23:06Drop what you're doing!
23:08Full sweep on the Leora and child!
23:10Every resource, every contact.
23:12Now!
23:13Tell them Poseidon's back!
23:15Yes, boss!
23:22Poseidon's back.
23:23Let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point.
23:33Dylan wants the woman dead.
23:36Kid comes with us alive.
23:37She's still hurt.
23:38Easy pickets.
23:40Let's move.
23:52We'll make a nice stew.
23:54Surprise daddy for lunch?
23:55Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
24:00Ha ha ha ha!
24:02A forest nymph playing happy home mater?
24:06Pathetic.
24:09Who are you?
24:11Dylan's orders.
24:12Come quietly to the stronghold.
24:15Or I drag your corpse back.
24:17Mommy?
24:19Who's the ugly goat man?
24:21Hand over the kid!
24:30Stay away from my daughter!
24:32Don't you dare touch her!
24:34Don't you dare touch her!
24:49Mommy, you're bleeding.
24:52This forest is locked down.
24:54Surrender now.
24:56I'll go with you.
24:57On one condition.
24:59Let my daughter go.
25:01No, Mommy, I'm not leaving you.
25:14Kids mine, you die.
25:19You poisoned me.
25:23My poison fog.
25:25The more you fight, the faster it rots you from the inside.
25:29Give up!
25:31You've gone too far.
25:33Even if I die today, I'm not letting you win.
25:38You're wounded.
25:40Poisoned.
25:42Done.
25:44The kid's coming with me.
25:47Don't touch her!
25:49Come at me!
25:50Feisty one.
25:52Dylan wants you dead.
25:54But first, I'm gonna have some fun.
26:03Such a pretty face.
26:05All mine now.
26:10Let my mommy go, you bastard!
26:19Lily!
26:20Lily!
26:21Run!
26:22Get out of here!
26:26Serve me well, and I might let her run a little longer.
26:37Lily!
26:39Lily!
26:44Daddy?
26:59You touch my woman, you're a dead man.
27:07Jack.
27:09What the hell just happened?
27:14You okay, babe?
27:16So you're the boyfriend.
27:17Too bad.
27:18I'll snap every bone in your body with one hand.
27:33Ow!
27:34Ow!
27:35Ow!
27:36Ow!
27:37Ow!
27:40Ow!
27:40Ow!
27:45If I pull this vine, the whole cliff goes with us, demon.
27:50Run all you want!
27:51My pack tears you both apart!
28:01Ow!
28:06Ow!
28:07Ow!
28:08Ow!
28:09Ow!
28:10Ow!
28:10Ow!
28:10Ow!
28:21Ow!
28:24Ow!
28:25Ow!
28:25Ow!
28:26Ow!
28:28Ow!
28:29Ow!
28:30Ow!
28:30Ow!
28:31Ow!
28:31Ow!
28:33To be continued...
29:09Hand over the kid! I'll make your death quick!
29:20Lily, turn around and cover your ears, okay?
29:25Daddy's gonna do a little magic trick.
29:28Okay.
29:32You are the best.
29:42Some nobody dare stare me down? You're asking to die!
29:48You're not human! Who the hell are you?
29:51My daughter's here, so I'm keeping it clean. Disappear.
30:14Okay, Lily. You can turn around now.
30:19Daddy? What happened to the bad guy?
30:23He got so dazzled by how cute you are, he just passed out.
30:32Lily, stay right here inside this circle. Don't move.
30:36Daddy's gonna help Mommy beat the bad guys. I'll be right back.
30:43Daddy, be careful.
30:46Don't worry, Lily. No one's ever beaten your dad.
30:54Ha ha ha ha! That poison's eating you alive, little nymph.
30:58How much longer you got? Let me have my fun first.
31:03So what? I'll drag you to hell with me before I die.
31:18Damn. You take a hit well. Let's enjoy this body.
31:23Then, I'll turn you into my eternal trophy.
31:26For Jack and Lily, even if I die, I'm taking this beast down with me.
31:33No signal? You trying to hog the glory?
31:36More coming. Killing one won't save Jack and Lily. No choice.
31:40I'm taking them down with me.
31:42This the woman Dylan wants? Where the kid?
31:45Some guy took the brat.
31:48Useless. Grab her first, then we hunt the child.
31:55Just let Jack and Lily be safe.
32:01You all want to come at once? Then die together.
32:04Pick your graves.
32:17Why did you come back?
32:19Where's Lily?
32:23Lily's safe.
32:25Don't push yourself.
32:28So this is the woman's secret lover.
32:31Her taste is trash.
32:33Beg now.
32:35And maybe I'll leave your corpses in one piece.
32:38Refuse, and you'll be screaming.
32:41End it fast.
32:42Ha ha ha ha ha!
32:44You? In our eyes, you're not even an enemy.
32:47Just weeds to be crushed under feet.
32:50Just hold on a little longer. Jack means more to me than anything. I won't let him get hurt.
33:06You want my husband? Step over my corpse first!
33:11In a hurry to die? Fine! I'll oblige!
33:43You're half dead already! How the hell did you knock me back?
33:47The sea is sinking. Those are Poseidon's warriors.
33:52This... can't be.
34:18Ancient Ekethra? The coastal legend monster? Why would she be here?
34:25Ha ha ha! Our boss has real backing! He summoned three of Poseidon's elite guards!
34:31No matter how strong you are, kneel and beg!
34:35They're coming for us. We're finished!
34:38Don't worry, darling. Things might turn around.
34:40Lyra Vale has been captured. Now we await the Sea King's warriors to execute this peasant.
34:48They're here for me! Jack, stay behind me!
34:52With me here, no one touches you.
34:54Stop saying that, Jack! Look around! We're surrounded! We could actually die here!
35:04My lords! Let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson!
35:12You worthless creature! You shouldn't even exist where I stand!
35:24Who dares show such insolence before the Lord of the Sea?
35:30Can you marry me?
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