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Taskmaster - S20E10 - The Final： Supping from the Fountain [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Oh, no!
00:05Hello?
00:12Hey!
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:32Hello!
00:34And welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:43There are some that say I'm struggling to write introductions after 20 series.
00:47To those people, I say this.
00:49I've got a brain for business and a body for sin.
00:51I give out the points to decide who will win.
00:54I'm the Taskmaster, this show's magistrate.
00:56I'm inconsistent because of my swollen prostate.
01:00LAUGHTER
01:02Who dared to enter my realm of tusks?
01:04Three northerners are Gen Z and the Sanjeev of Basques.
01:07I'll give them all names, I'll give them all hope.
01:10But my allegiance, as ever, remains with the Pope.
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:15So, for the last time, please welcome our five would-be champions.
01:21Anya Magliano!
01:25Maisie Adelaide!
01:27Phil Ennis!
01:29Reece Sheer-Smith!
01:31And Sanjeev Basques!
01:36And next to me, a man who recently confided in me in private
01:40that he likes women who fart.
01:48THEY INS!
01:49THEY INS!
01:54We know it so well, Greg.
01:55We do.
01:56Let's find out how well you know me, Greg, with a little quiz.
01:59Do you want a little quiz?
01:59Ooh, is this your chat section?
02:01Shut your eyes.
02:02Right.
02:02What? What colour is my hair, Greg?
02:04Ginger, pepper, pot, ginger.
02:06Correct. What colour are my teeth, Greg?
02:08They're sort of an off-white,
02:10apart from one which is black and folded in on itself.
02:14Correct. And what colour are my eyes, Greg?
02:19Blue?
02:20No.
02:23They're brown.
02:25You can have a look if you want.
02:26Oh, God!
02:31You've painted brown eyes on your lids, that's it?
02:34And that's the springboard for the grand final?
02:37It's the grand final!
02:41OK, what's the prize test category that we've saved for the final?
02:45Well, the only one it could be, Greg,
02:47it has grand final written all over it,
02:49as each of them has brought in their very best tube.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:56Five important grand final points for the best tube
02:59and five actual tubes for the episode winner.
03:01Shut up, Alex. Here we go.
03:03All right, then.
03:05Phil.
03:07Hi.
03:07Before we go any further, I would like to say
03:10you shouldn't grow your hair long.
03:15Because there's some glamorous pirates in this row,
03:18but you look like a man who'd try and sell me meat out of a bag.
03:21LAUGHTER
03:23What tube have you brought in?
03:24Is it a good tube?
03:26It's a good old tube of lube.
03:30I found it in the park.
03:34I told you that's where we left it.
03:40This is why it's the best tube,
03:41because you know what kind of situation you're in with lube.
03:45If you're using it to get in something, it's a good day.
03:49If...
03:49LAUGHTER
03:51If you're using it to get out of something,
03:54it's a bad day.
03:56LAUGHTER
03:57I think I've got everything I need to know.
03:59Macy.
04:01I've brought my favourite tube of pasta.
04:03If you've just brought a tube of pasta in,
04:05then, against all odds, Phil's not getting one more.
04:08No, no, no.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:09I've made a tube, but, like, I've made it into a tube.
04:13Let's have a look.
04:14As in the tube.
04:15With little pasta wheels.
04:17LAUGHTER
04:19That's good, isn't it?
04:21I know what you're thinking.
04:22You're going, Macy, it still looks just a bit like pasta,
04:25which is why I've painted it to look like the tube.
04:29Here we go.
04:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:32It's good.
04:33It's good.
04:33I've got nothing sarcastic to say.
04:35I like the tube of the tube.
04:37Rhys.
04:38So, I brought in a test tube with the umbilical cord of a werewolf.
04:44Here it is.
04:46LAUGHTER
04:48You bought that?
04:49Yep.
04:49From somebody who told you it was the umbilical cord of a werewolf?
04:52Yep.
04:53Yeah.
04:54I knew it wasn't.
04:56But I...
04:57It was a display made lovingly by someone that crafts this sort of thing.
05:02I thought some bloke up north had licked a twig that put it in a test tube.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:06Licked it at you for 500 quid.
05:09Yeah.
05:09I've still got my umbilical cord.
05:11Shut up.
05:12LAUGHTER
05:13It's still...
05:13It's still attached.
05:14I've still...
05:16Are you...
05:16LAUGHTER
05:19I quite often feed myself through it.
05:21You don't need to use a mouth.
05:22Yeah.
05:22LAUGHTER
05:23Anya, hello.
05:25I've brought in also a test tube.
05:26Um, but I've brought in a test tube that's, er, filled with DNA.
05:31It's DNA that I've harvested myself.
05:33Alex, perhaps you could show the photo of me.
05:35Yes, this is Anya harvesting DNA.
05:38Ooh.
05:39You've found a little hair, haven't you, Anya?
05:40Yeah, I don't know if you recognise that jacket, Greg.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:44Oh, no.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:47I thought it would be good to finally get some closure on everything
05:49that's been going on.
05:50Um, so I sent off your DNA, alongside some of my DNA, to the lab.
05:56Yeah.
05:56And we just got some very interesting results.
05:58Here are the DNA results.
05:59The child there, Anya Magliano.
06:01If we zoom in, we can see what they think.
06:04LAUGHTER
06:05LAUGHTER
06:06That's high.
06:07That is high.
06:08Hello, Daddy.
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10Well, that's, er, genuinely unsettling.
06:13Yeah.
06:14Congratulations.
06:16We'll talk about Christmas later.
06:19LAUGHTER
06:19Sanjay.
06:19OK, well, this is my best tube.
06:22This is a tube that contains stories, history, but also warnings, danger.
06:28It's extraordinary.
06:29Er, it is a tube, er, like, er, and it's of my DNA.
06:34Yeah.
06:34Here we are.
06:35I know what it is, I guessed, as soon as you start talking.
06:38For the third time in the series.
06:39Yeah.
06:40Yes, it's a tube, isn't it?
06:40There it is!
06:41LAUGHTER
06:43Once again.
06:44Why is this piss better than your previous pisses?
06:49It's fresher.
06:51LAUGHTER
06:52OK.
06:53OK.
06:54Tell me some points, Greg.
06:55I'm very fond of Phil, but the idea that he's last minute
06:59grabbed a tubaloo.
07:00Half a tubaloo.
07:01I can't give him more than one.
07:03I'm sort of disgusted by the werewolf, but I like the story
07:06behind it.
07:08I'm used to Sanjeev's urine now.
07:10So the novelty's worn off a little bit, but I'm going to give
07:13them three points, both the werewolf umbilical cord and Sanjeev's
07:17urine.
07:17Wow.
07:18Now, I think this will, erm, reflect very badly on me.
07:22Please put a tube of pasta above your daughter.
07:25LAUGHTER
07:27Greg, you've done that for 27 years.
07:30LAUGHTER
07:30I don't know why.
07:31I am going to give...
07:32LAUGHTER
07:34I'm going to give my daughter four points.
07:36OK.
07:36And I'm going to give a woman who's made a tube out of pasta.
07:40Five.
07:40Well done, Maisie Adam.
07:42Five points.
07:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:47All right, let's get going.
07:48Let's get to a task.
07:49Well, what better way to begin than with the final team task of
07:53the series and a good old cup of tea or two.
07:55Or 14.
07:57MUSIC
08:08Hi.
08:09Hello.
08:09Hi.
08:10Hey.
08:12Hi.
08:12Thanks for meeting you here.
08:14Hello.
08:15What are you doing?
08:16Hi, Rhys.
08:17What do you want?
08:17Hi, Maisie.
08:18I want one of you to turn left into the living room
08:20and one of you right into the kitchen.
08:23Bothered?
08:24I'll go in here.
08:25I like a kitchen.
08:27You don't have to.
08:28That's the wrong answer in this day and age.
08:30Oh, yes, yes.
08:31Do you want to swap it?
08:31Do you want it just so you don't get an article about you?
08:34Fair enough.
08:35Yeah, well, I don't know.
08:36Does anyone feel comfortable being on their own?
08:39I've spent my life on my own.
08:40I'm happy with that.
08:41LAUGHTER
08:42Let's go in here.
08:43OK.
08:44Right, good luck.
08:45Good luck.
08:52Cups.
08:53Tea?
08:54Tea cups?
08:55Mm-hmm.
08:55Oh, no.
08:56I think I've got more responsibility in this.
08:59I'm so nervous about letting Rhys down.
09:02WHISTLE BLOWS
09:03OK.
09:05Make exactly the same-looking drinks as your team-mate's drinks.
09:08Your team-mate must make exactly the same-looking drinks as your drinks.
09:12Your entire team may only open two doors.
09:16May only open two doors.
09:17May only open two doors.
09:18What does that mean?
09:20Most similar-looking drinks wins.
09:23You have 15 minutes.
09:25Your time starts now.
09:27Wish I hadn't gone on my own.
09:30Terrible decision.
09:35APPLAUSE
09:37I'm really afraid of letting me down.
09:39Often, Maisie's very worried about keeping you happy.
09:43It's quite frightened of me.
09:45Cos you're fucking terrifying!
09:48Let's get going.
09:49Let's start with a team of two.
09:50They've been a true power couple so far.
09:53Let's see how they got on in their final team task.
09:59Maisie?
10:00Hello.
10:01So, have you got the same task as me?
10:03It's about making the same drink.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Have you got seven drinks in front of you?
10:08Yes, I have.
10:09Of different colours?
10:10No.
10:11Oh.
10:12Right, OK.
10:13So, you've got the drinks, probably,
10:15and I have to make the drinks to make them like your drinks.
10:18Yes.
10:18OK, so start with the first drink on the left.
10:21Like a cranberry juice.
10:23OK, so I'm going to look in the fridge for some cranberry juice.
10:27I'm opening it.
10:28Yeah.
10:28You've opened one door.
10:30Right, look for any of these things, Rhys.
10:33Yeah.
10:33Cranberry juice, tomato soup, anything that's like a bright green...
10:38None of those things you've said so far are in this fridge.
10:41Then it's a cup of coffee, but it's frothy,
10:43so I think that's like a latte with milk.
10:45Where am I going to get that from out of a cupboard?
10:47Well, I don't know.
10:48Just skip that one.
10:49I'm a bit worried about leaving the fridge door open so long,
10:52things will start going off.
10:53Oh, I've set him off now.
10:55You've got, like, teriyaki sauce.
10:58Would that be like a brown drink?
11:00Yeah, that could be the last one.
11:01Bob that in number seven.
11:03OK, I'm doing it now.
11:03Keep the doors open.
11:05Yeah.
11:05Yeah, it's teriyaki, I've just smelt it.
11:08Oh, well, good.
11:08One done.
11:09So I've got tomato ketchup?
11:11Yes, take that out.
11:12Oh, look, here we are.
11:15Can you hear me?
11:16Yes!
11:17Yes, I can hear you!
11:18Hello, Rhys.
11:19Can't hear you.
11:20Maisie talking.
11:22Erm, what?
11:23Maisie talking!
11:24Oh!
11:24Right, there you are, I've got you.
11:26Right, I reckon go to a cupboard...
11:28Oh, God.
11:28And we're looking for cranberry sauce, tomato soup.
11:32Right.
11:32But the problem is, though, Maisie, there's about three cupboards,
11:35and I don't know which one to pick.
11:36It's literally a guessing game.
11:38I'm just going to open one that looks like it's got things in it.
11:40I'm opening it now.
11:41This could be the end of the game.
11:43It's the end of the game.
11:46What's in there?
11:47I've opened the wrong one, Maisie, and there's nothing in it
11:49apart from plates.
11:50So now what we've got is some teriyaki sauce, tomato sauce,
11:53and some milk.
11:55Is there anything that looks like tomato sauce?
11:57We'll start with that.
11:58Right, number two, go...
12:0050% tomato sauce, mix it with a load of water from the sink.
12:05And then I reckon, number one, put a tiny bit of ketchup in,
12:09and then the rest, water.
12:10Cos it's sort of a clearish red.
12:12Oh!
12:13Number five is a cup of tea.
12:15Right, I'll try and do a tea.
12:17What are you making your tea with, Rhys?
12:18Very happy with some milk.
12:20It's going to look like tea.
12:22Watch number three.
12:24Tea that has just had the bag in, but nothing else.
12:28Can you do that?
12:30Ah!
12:31Right, you've found the tea, have you now?
12:33I can do that.
12:34There was tea all along.
12:38The lovely one, it's like a salty coffee.
12:41Maybe just spitting it.
12:43Nothing much, it's bubbly.
12:45You've got one minute left.
12:46OK, right, so number four, I'll neck the green,
12:49and then it's just both empty cups, isn't it?
12:52Do that, that's brilliant.
12:56I thought we did.
12:59That's your time up.
13:01Are you all amazing?
13:03Look at that.
13:04I think it was cucumber.
13:06Hey, you know what?
13:07Have we done OK?
13:08Have we?
13:09That's not bad, actually.
13:10Oh, Rhys, we've smashed it!
13:12I think that's good!
13:12That's banging!
13:14So which cup did you open?
13:15Oh...
13:16It was this one.
13:17Imagine at this point...
13:18But you can see through here!
13:19Well, this is what I thought.
13:20It was a trick.
13:22Thank you, team.
13:23I do feel a bit queasy.
13:25I bet you do.
13:26APPLAUSE
13:32See?
13:33She's no doormat, really, is she?
13:35No, not at all.
13:36Although we did have yet another...
13:38Oh, I've set him off now.
13:40It's like some abusive, like, terrible ogre.
13:43You are, though.
13:44It is funny.
13:45Like, you open the fridge, which Maisie can't see, and you went...
13:49Oh, none of the things you've said are in this fridge!
13:52LAUGHTER
13:53Like, it's her fault!
13:55It's frustration, it comes out in different ways.
13:58Yeah.
13:58I mean, they were pretty good, though.
14:00Yeah.
14:00As far as I could see.
14:01Well, considering they opened the fridge and are covered full of plates.
14:05LAUGHTER
14:05That's a hell of a start to this task.
14:07We're off for a break now, so that means you are too.
14:10We'll see you in a minute.
14:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:23Welcome back to Taskmaster.
14:25It's the final, and we're in the middle of a final team task.
14:28Whoa! You've got to be kidding me!
14:30Yes, the...
14:32The task is to make exactly the same-looking drinks in the kitchen
14:36as the drinks in the living room.
14:38The entire team may only open two doors.
14:40Most similar-looking drinks wins.
14:42Now, for the final time, it's Anya, Phil and Sanjeev.
14:47Phil?
14:47Bear with me.
14:49The first one has no flavour, but it's warm.
14:53It's about the same heat as you're in.
14:55Fresh.
14:57Wait a minute.
14:59I could just open this door, couldn't I?
15:01I think one of our doors might have to be the fridge door.
15:05Oh, that's...
15:06I was...
15:07Yeah, I'm really glad I didn't just open the cupboard behind me now.
15:10Yeah, don't do anything.
15:12Oh, dear.
15:14Erm...
15:14I'm scared.
15:16I don't like leaving him unattended.
15:20Oh, wait a minute.
15:21Why don't you just bring them here, and I'll just pour mine into yours?
15:25What, if we pour exactly half?
15:27Yeah, we can do that.
15:28That's easy, then, isn't it?
15:30Ha-ha!
15:30Ah, suckers!
15:37Looks like he's having some trouble.
15:41One door open.
15:42We're opening our second door.
15:44Yeah.
15:45You may open no more doors.
15:47How much time have we got left, Alex?
15:48Seven minutes.
15:48Seven minutes.
15:49Ooh!
15:51Well...
15:51What about that?
15:52Oh, yeah, that's good.
15:53All good.
15:53Well, let's see how much is in each one with that.
15:57You've got a little bit of dribble on your rim there.
15:59If you want to be productive.
16:00On the urine.
16:01See what I mean?
16:01It's the same warmth, isn't it?
16:02Oh, it is, actually.
16:03It's like when you give a medical sample.
16:05Yeah, yeah.
16:05I got a text the other day asking for a store sample.
16:09And, er...
16:10No, just stop there.
16:10It's just a good text.
16:11We'll leave it at that.
16:12That's really good.
16:13What we've done is amazing.
16:15There's a minute left, but you can leave at any point.
16:18OK.
16:19Are you just doing the washing up now?
16:20Oh, yeah.
16:20That's nice.
16:21Ten seconds left.
16:23Task is over.
16:24Excellent.
16:24Thank you, team.
16:26Thank you, everyone.
16:27Go team!
16:31Before the VT started, I wrote down, not to be negative,
16:34but I predict Phil will be shit at this.
16:36LAUGHTER
16:38And then, within seconds,
16:41Anya said, I don't like leaving him unattended.
16:45I don't.
16:46But he had a brilliant idea.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Just whip across, pour the name.
16:52Yeah.
16:53It was just a work of genius.
16:54Are you sure that was me?
16:56It was you.
16:56I think so.
16:57We didn't see that coming as well.
16:58I didn't see that as a possible solution.
17:00Very frustrating.
17:01And by the end of the task, it was just a lovely family dynamic.
17:04Yeah.
17:04Dad did the washing up while the two kids talked about wee and poo.
17:09LAUGHTER
17:10I really feel like you're the father who left me
17:12and Sanjeev is the father who raised me.
17:15LAUGHTER
17:19Really good.
17:20Both teams were great, but obviously the team of three...
17:23Yeah.
17:24...knocked it out of the park.
17:25Although, I would say nearly all of them were fantastic.
17:28Oh, for f...
17:29Oh.
17:30For...
17:31What?
17:32Well, I couldn't help but notice...
17:34Oh, don't do this.
17:35This.
17:36What?
17:38Um...
17:38Straw, straw.
17:40There must be a straw here.
17:42Oh!
17:52Suddenly, this daddy's looking a bit more attractive, isn't he?
17:57Oh, my God!
17:58Was it just me?
17:59Oh, just you, yeah.
18:00No-one else opened a door, Sanjeev.
18:02Oh, my...
18:02Yeah.
18:03I told you to watch him.
18:04You know he doesn't know what's going on half the time.
18:07LAUGHTER
18:07So, what happens now?
18:09He's disqualified, I'm afraid.
18:10All of us?
18:12Team of three, yeah.
18:14Oh...
18:14Yes, Rhys!
18:15Yes.
18:16It's a tragedy, yeah, and it's really unfortunate,
18:19but accidents happen, and that's the nature of the team task.
18:22Sanjeev doesn't look that bothered.
18:26Couldn't give a shit.
18:28LAUGHTER
18:29You have an OBE. Some of us need this.
18:33This is going to go on my gravestone.
18:35LAUGHTER
18:36There you go.
18:37So, the scores are zero for the team of three
18:39and five for the team of two.
18:40I'm afraid so.
18:41Well done, Major.
18:41Well done, Rhys.
18:42Don't worry.
18:43Sorry.
18:45Can't we help?
18:46Scoreboard, please.
18:47Yes, well, in terms of the series,
18:48there's only one point separating the top two players.
18:52Oh!
18:52And all five are still fairly close.
18:54It's exciting.
18:55Oh.
18:56In this episode, Maisie's in the lead with ten!
18:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:03Right.
19:04Next, it's time to make this final suck in a good way.
19:09LAUGHTER
19:23Hello.
19:24Maisie.
19:25Great to see you.
19:26Nice to see you.
19:27We get on well, don't we?
19:28For legal reasons.
19:30LAUGHTER
19:31Ooh.
19:32Ooh.
19:33Why haven't I got an envelope with some mics on it?
19:36Run out.
19:37Right.
19:38Drink almost all the apple juice.
19:40You must not touch the cup, and the cup must not move.
19:45Fastest wins, your time starts now.
19:48Pythagoras, hands off.
19:49That's a clue.
19:50Now, if my geography serves me correctly, Pythagoras is a pretty cool island,
19:57very rich in iron ore.
20:00I think we're going to smash it.
20:03LAUGHTER
20:07Well, I mean, I won't pretend that I got it, but it's a clue, right?
20:11The mug is a clue.
20:13Mmm, yes, the Pythagoras mug.
20:15First up, to slurp nearly all the apple juice,
20:18it's my favourite musical artists, Enya and Jay-Z.
20:22Here we go.
20:25Well, I don't think I should lick it up like a cat.
20:30I need a straw, essentially.
20:32I can move.
20:34Is there a straw?
20:35Anywhere?
20:36Oh.
20:38Underneath, there's a straw in there.
20:41Is that a straw under there?
20:43I've not looked.
20:44Yeah.
20:45Yeah.
20:48Oh.
20:51Kill.
20:56I can't do it.
21:04Oh.
21:08Oh.
21:09I've got apple in my ear.
21:11Oh.
21:13Oh!
21:13Oh!
21:14Oh!
21:14It's really in there.
21:15Oh!
21:23It's gone.
21:24It's gone.
21:25Oh, it's still there?
21:25I don't think you've drunk almost all of it yet.
21:27Oh, you want me to slick it out of the litter tray?
21:30This is degrading now.
21:37Hang on, I can touch that, though, can't I?
21:40Let's not touch the cup on the customer.
21:42Ah, yeah, fine.
21:44Oh, there we go.
21:46It does look like I'm drinking cat litter. Weird.
21:50Stop the clock.
21:55Bust it.
21:57Bit in the ear, but no problem.
21:59Most of it in the mouth.
22:00Yeah.
22:03Oh, yeah.
22:04Listen to that.
22:09You know, not a lot of dignity there, but they've seen fast.
22:13They didn't really use the Pythagoras clue.
22:15Well, look, it's a confusing task, there's no doubt about that.
22:18What that thing is, is a special Pythagoras cup.
22:21If you fill it over a certain level, it suddenly siphons down,
22:24and if you suck from the bottom, it suddenly plunges forth.
22:26But you lapped it up like cats.
22:28I wonder if Phil's going to make this easy.
22:31LAUGHTER
22:31OK, now, as advised by several professional people,
22:34we have put Phil all by himself.
22:35Here we go.
22:36Oh, God.
22:37Right, so that's not a cup.
22:38That is a cup.
22:41I think that's apple juice.
22:42OK.
22:43I haven't got any sense of smell.
22:44I got hit by a football when I was nine.
22:47LAUGHTER
22:50What's this?
22:51Why is that there?
22:55That's nothing!
22:56That was a mislead!
22:57I don't think...
22:58I don't think I'm missing something.
23:00Can I leave the room?
23:01All the information's on the table.
23:03Fastest wins your time set.
23:04Oh, I could have just left the room.
23:05OK.
23:06What are you going to get?
23:07Well, weirdly, I was thinking tissue,
23:09and then soak it up and squirt it in my mouth,
23:11but maybe just a straw.
23:12Well, look, the clock's ticking.
23:15Is there any straws?
23:16Why is there never anything you need?
23:22Absolutely smashed this.
23:24LAUGHTER
23:24I panicked.
23:25Don't know why I've got the funnel.
23:26What is that?
23:27This looks like it's used to...
23:29give a... give a cow a child.
23:31LAUGHTER
23:31I've never seen it before.
23:34Oh.
23:36LAUGHTER
23:42Almost all, that's almost.
23:44What does it have to do with him?
23:46Have you finished?
23:48Almost.
23:49I've stuck the clock.
23:50Well done, Phil.
23:51APPLAUSE
23:54It's like watching a deleted scene from Oliver sometimes.
23:58LAUGHTER
23:59It's a urchin looking round the posh house not understanding anything.
24:02LAUGHTER
24:02I've had so many insights over the last few weeks into your childhood.
24:06You can't smell because you've got hit in the head by a football.
24:09Yeah.
24:10Can you not smell at all?
24:11No.
24:12OK.
24:12Although I smell five points a foot.
24:15LAUGHTER
24:17Did he get it down, him?
24:18The juice?
24:19Yes, he drank nearly all of it.
24:20The time so far.
24:21Anya, 1 minute 39.
24:22Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
24:23Phil, 14 minutes 55.
24:25LAUGHTER
24:27OK, that's halfway through this grand final.
24:31Be brave.
24:32Be strong.
24:34Be...
24:35...gooool.
24:37LAUGHTER
24:46Hello, oh, hello, everyone.
24:50Welcome to the third part of our final
24:53and a task involving the consumption of apple juice.
24:57Ooh, yeah.
24:57Big time, seriously.
24:59And we end with two Goliaths from the world of celebrity juice
25:02drinking Rhys and Sanjeev.
25:05OK, so, well, the theory of Pythagoras,
25:09I think, is something about displacement, isn't it?
25:11If I pour water into there, more diluted apple juice will...
25:17..pour out, and I could start trying to drink it.
25:19OK.
25:27What?
25:29LAUGHTER
25:34Er...
25:36Gone.
25:37Have you drunk almost all of it?
25:43Almost all, but there's a bit left.
25:45I've stopped the clock.
25:46I guess I didn't need to do the thing of leaning under it
25:48and drinking something from the fountain, did I?
25:52No.
25:54But I did.
26:19There you go.
26:19is that almost all it's almost all do you know what just happened it's the it's
26:24Bernoulli's theorem it's about displacement and water pressure yeah
26:29how are we spelling Benoulli however you like so exactly how it's the new is
26:33theorem can I have a wee now excellent
26:45thank you for television appearances what a career and now this doctor
26:51displacement that was textbook Sanjeev was completely correct it is the Bernoulli
26:58principle I'd never heard of it he had you must be more excited about this
27:04victory then no I don't know if I've opened a bloody cupboard
27:11you're safe bye bye yeah I'm still feeling bad about the cupboard door with for
27:16these guys race again knew about displacement yeah and then as soon as
27:21the stream started complete breakdown I just went straight mouth to stream and
27:28was I really enjoyed it though yeah I did think to drink it from the bowl so
27:37good yeah those one so Phil yes one point you were 15 minutes almost Maisie two
27:43minutes 13 Reese you were two minutes ten just three seconds quicker than Maisie
27:47race and you we know one minute 39 Sanjeev 45 seconds
27:56displacement has struck I can barely bring myself to ask but please oh there we have
28:07the last task it's sad but it's also exciting because and get ready this one
28:12involves the word whence oh you like that yeah it's just floating there yes what oh this is good
28:41make water squirt out of you in a surprising way in 15 minutes Alex will
28:48guess whence the water will squirt whence whence I think I know what whence means
28:55but I'm not sure for every incorrect guess you may squirt him for one second at the
29:03end of the task longest time squirting Alex wins that shouldn't even be a
29:09sentence your time starts now magic
29:20what's going on with you ever since you got your new laptop it's all so fast it's all weird sexy
29:27stuff
29:28I've seen I've seen so much recently let's see Alex using a show to get his kicks
29:48I can see pipes I can see tubes I'm going to make my first guess and the water is going
29:56to come out of the chest tube
29:59wrong that's one second of squirting did you enjoy chest tube
30:17how you doing I'm all right how are you doing good yeah I think the water is going to squirt
30:22out of the mouth tube
30:25okay Rhys yeah are you going to squirt me from your nose
30:33no out of the elbow pipe no you're going to squirt me from your groin
30:39well let's see shall we
30:45no nothing coming nothing actually was a bit but no
30:49I'm going with right trouser leg tube please
30:52negative
30:53you can't help but notice there is a hose going out of this and over there
30:56yes
30:57you know what I'm going to follow I'm going to follow the hose
30:59okay yeah I've got to follow the hose
31:01follow the hose
31:01it goes in there so it goes up it goes
31:07I'm not sure you can dismantle me
31:11put that back in that might be part of something
31:13thank you
31:15right so the hose is a red herring
31:18well could be
31:19well it is I just pulled it out
31:20this is good the table is at turn
31:24I'll give you all the information
31:28there are times to start it
31:31I'm going around the back
31:32there's still some more on the front that you haven't seen even
31:35I am going around the back
31:37okay
31:40ah yeah hello
31:43Anya is the water going to squirt out of the back of your head
31:47yes
31:47well it's going to do that for eight seconds
31:49yeah
31:50so well done you
31:51thank you
31:51is it going to come out of your foot
31:57you've got it
31:59yeah
32:00thank you very much
32:06another terrifying character
32:08yes
32:08to add
32:10well it was all about the ruses and the pipes that led to nothing
32:13yeah
32:14that was what you had to say
32:14and yet for the vast majority of it I just couldn't take my eyes off the nose
32:18it was quite dominant wasn't it
32:20yeah how many seconds of squirting did he gain himself
32:24it took 14 guesses to find the tube and eight guesses of course with Anya
32:28after I asked permission to go around the back
32:31yes
32:33making something that wasn't creepy so creepy
32:37who's next
32:37it's now time for the cheesy guys
32:39Phil, Adelphia, Ellis and Maisie Edan
32:47oh
32:51hello
32:53I see
32:57well let's start with this guy
33:00what's that one the uh
33:01little yellow thigh one
33:02yellow thigh?
33:03mm-hmm
33:04no
33:09hi
33:10hi
33:10hi Phil
33:11you alright? it's funny when you walk into a situation
33:14I like it
33:15mmm I don't
33:16quite a lot of uh ends of hoses
33:19well you never know do you?
33:21you never know where the hose
33:23it looks like that's where it goes
33:25the hose
33:26the hose goes
33:28where my rosemary grows
33:30I don't know your rosemary goes
33:31yeah it tastes rag
33:33head tube
33:34beat the head tube
33:37no dice baby
33:41let's go for a fish
33:42a fish
33:43this fish
33:44my sternum fish
33:45no
33:46penguin
33:47on the head
33:47yes
33:48no
33:49right shoulder
33:50wrong shoulder baby
33:52right this one
33:53that's another guess
33:54I'm just gonna check around the back
33:57oh dear
33:57oh dear
33:58oh dear
33:59oh dear
33:59I'd like to put my hand in there
34:01I'd like you to
34:02right wrist
34:03no
34:04left wrist
34:05no
34:05can I have Adele?
34:06it's a welcome mat crack on
34:07I just wanna see if it's going up or down
34:09I don't know if you're allowed
34:11that was my penis
34:13right elbow
34:14no
34:15left elbow
34:15no
34:16racking them seconds up Alex
34:1825
34:1939
34:2040
34:2041
34:2128
34:2229
34:22I mean I can see that some of these aren't going anywhere
34:2530
34:2531
34:2632
34:2633
34:2734
34:28quick trip round the back
34:29flat
34:41yeah
34:42yeah
34:42ok
34:4321 seconds
34:43of squirting out of your ass
34:4921 seconds
34:50Yeah, I can't see a crease in your left boot
34:56So 45 seconds 45 seconds, I don't think I feel comfortable wasting that much water
35:06There's been a few tasks in this series where Maisie looked incredibly pleased with herself and smug and it's always
35:13ended in disaster
35:14But that time well-deserved. Yeah, please with herself throughout
35:20And then delighted that she's going to squirt you from her ass
35:25And as for the porcupine poet of squirting
35:30Similar tactic to cover himself. Yeah stuff and some lovely messages for the kids there
35:36Are you gonna put your hand in there? I'd like to I'd like you to that's consent
35:46Just one more small part left who will squirt Alex for the longest who will win the trophy and who
35:52will take home the last?
35:53And I imagine the strongest of Sanjeev's urine sample
35:59Stay tuned
36:15And our 20th adventure together my little friend
36:24We got it together didn't we both?
36:26We got it together
36:28Finally
36:33Here we go then just one more person for me to guess from whence the water will come and it
36:39is Sanjeev Bhaskar like you've never seen him before
36:43Hi Sanjeev
36:59Okay Sanjeev my first guess are you gonna squirt me from your mouth?
37:05Are you gonna squirt me out of your eyes?
37:10Are you gonna squirt me out of your bosoms from your tummy?
37:15Can I see your hands?
37:17Right well, okay, so that you've got lots of water balloons on your strap to your chest
37:22Are you gonna squirt me from your chest area?
37:26your legs
37:27from your behind
37:30armpits flanks
37:34flanks
37:35Flanks
37:36No
37:38Would you mind opening up a little bit more for me?
37:43Right
37:48Are you going to squirt me from your crotch?
37:50Feet
37:51ears
37:52hands
37:52knees
37:53neck
37:54shins
37:55nape
37:55from your hips
37:56top of the head
37:57lower back
37:57shoulders
37:58tummy button
37:59nostrils
38:00forehead
38:01That is all of you
38:04Are you gonna squirt me?
38:06from your body?
38:09from here to here?
38:12from here to here?
38:13from this side of you?
38:14right
38:14okay
38:20elbow
38:21you're gonna squirt me from your elbow?
38:24whoo
38:24okay
38:26your
38:27oh
38:27flanks
38:29flanks
38:30flanks
38:30I would add another 20 minutes onto that from your sheer desperation
38:39another character that will endure I'm sure
38:41who was that man of mystery?
38:44flanks
38:45flanks?
38:46you were so upset by me suggesting flanks
38:49I just think generally they're irritated by you this series
38:52yeah
38:52don't agree with that
38:53you're the standard chance
38:55yeah there were 29 guesses so it's another nearly half a minute of squirting I'm going to have in a
38:59second
38:59points wise Anja just the one point it's two to Rhys with his 14 questions
39:04three to Maisie four to Sanjeev but Phil with his 45 questions
39:08five points
39:12here they are then your classes series 20 simply squirting
39:16water on please
39:19water on please
39:20water on please
39:36squirt
39:37squirt
39:40squirt
39:48come on
39:49inside
39:49all
39:49inside
40:07to
40:08if
40:19I'm trying to open my eyes to look at my wall.
40:21No, you're not allowed.
40:23Three seconds left.
40:28I'm happy with that.
40:30Thank you very much, Sanjeev.
40:31Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:34Triumph.
40:37Did you piss yourself?
40:39I didn't piss myself.
40:40I don't know.
40:41I'm 46.
40:44Finally, there's another one off the bucket list.
40:46Now all I'm going to do is marry a swan.
40:50I need lunch!
40:55It's difficult today who enjoyed it the most, doesn't it?
40:59All my dreams came true.
41:01The targeted crotch squirt.
41:03The reason was good.
41:05But facially, the person who enjoyed it, Max, was you.
41:12Looked like a 12-year-old.
41:15She was so accurate.
41:17All so great.
41:18So satisfied.
41:20Series-wise, there is still just one point in it at the top.
41:23What?
41:25OK, everyone.
41:26I'm afraid it's time for you all to make your way to the stage for the final task of the
41:32series!
41:37What a lovely collection of final pirates.
41:41Who's going to read the task out?
41:42I think Rhys is going to read the final task.
41:45A correspondence!
41:49Respond to the taskmaster correctly.
41:51When he says wibble, you say bibble.
41:54When he says bibble, you say bam.
41:58When he says bam, you say wibble, bibble, bam.
42:02If you dither or err, you are eliminated.
42:06Last player standing wins.
42:10So, Greg will look at one of you, and that's who he's talking to.
42:14You must respond correctly and quickly.
42:16If there's too much of a pause, you will be eliminated.
42:19If you make a mistake, you're out.
42:20You have to sit on the elimination bench over there.
42:22Wibble, bam.
42:22I will blow the whistle if there's a mistake.
42:25Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:26Here we go.
42:27Wibble, bibble.
42:29Bibble.
42:30Bam.
42:32Bam.
42:33Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:35Wibble.
42:36Bam.
42:37BUZZER
42:38Fuck!
42:39LAUGHTER
42:40APPLAUSE
42:41It's always bibble after wibble.
42:43Very cool.
42:45Now the ruffle.
42:46Wibble.
42:47Bibble.
42:48Bam.
42:49Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:50Bam.
42:51Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:52Bibble.
42:53Bam.
42:54Wibble.
42:55Bibble.
42:56Bam.
42:56Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:58Bibble.
42:59Bam.
43:00Wibble.
43:00Bibble.
43:01Bam.
43:02Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:03Bibble.
43:05Bib...bam.
43:06APPLAUSE
43:14What a terrible day for feminism.
43:17Silence!
43:19Benches on the benches.
43:20LAUGHTER
43:23Are you ready?
43:24Yeah.
43:25Bam.
43:25Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:27Bibble.
43:27Bam.
43:28Bibble.
43:29Bam.
43:30Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:31Bibble.
43:32Wibble.
43:33That went wrong!
43:34We've lost Rhys.
43:35He said bibble, he said wibble.
43:36That's all right, surely?
43:38Oh, he's gone.
43:38I protest, you're magnificent!
43:40APPLAUSE
43:42This is the final.
43:43Here we go.
43:45Bam.
43:45Bam.
43:46Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:47Bibble, bam.
43:48Wibble.
43:49Bibble.
43:50Bibble.
43:51Bam.
43:52Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:53Bibble, bam.
43:54Bibble.
43:55Bam.
43:57Bam.
43:57Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:57Bibble.
43:59Bibble, bam.
44:00Bam.
44:01Wibble, bibble, bam.
44:02Bam.
44:03Wibble, bibble, bam.
44:04Bibble.
44:05Wibble.
44:05Wibble.
44:13You soft-haired lovely.
44:14Congratulations.
44:15We'll add that to the final scores.
44:17Come down and join me!
44:25Climax to the series.
44:27I was genuinely shaking afterwards.
44:29Well done.
44:30Five points, of course, to Phil Ellis.
44:34So, we'll deal with the episode first, I imagine.
44:37Of course.
44:37It means that in joint second, with 16 points,
44:40it's Rhys and Sanjee!
44:43For the winner.
44:46With 17 points, it's Maisie Adam!
44:51Maisie Adam wins the episode!
44:54Please show up to the stage to be triumphant with you two!
45:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:08Hello, my friends.
45:10The crowning of a new Taskmaster champion is a historic event,
45:14which we celebrate just twice a year.
45:17That's right, quite often.
45:18But it remains of great significance.
45:22And so, now, I call upon my administrator, Alex.
45:25Mmm.
45:25Just how close was this?
45:26I must tell you that in fifth place,
45:28but just a handful of points away from the others,
45:32one of my all-time heroes, it's Sanjeev Bhaskar,
45:34with 143 points!
45:38Just five points ahead of Sanjeev, with 148 points.
45:43Another of my heroes, it's Rhys Shear-Smith!
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:48And only a few points above that, with 151 points.
45:53It's Phil Ellis!
45:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:57And Maisie Adam!
46:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:03And Annie Magliorno!
46:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:12It's never happened before.
46:14It is a series tie-break.
46:17A three-way.
46:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:20Yes, it's the most important tie-break in the world.
46:25We want you to think back and tell us
46:28how many letter T's are there
46:30in the portrait of me and Greg in the living room.
46:34Oh. Are you fucking joking? Come on!
46:37Closest wins.
46:38You're going to have some cards to write down your answers.
46:40What do you mean, T's?
46:41The letter T.
46:43It's actually written down?
46:45There were letter T's on the picture
46:47the whole time you were there.
46:48They were hidden within the painting.
46:50And what... roughly how many is it?
46:53LAUGHTER
46:53Write down a number, nice and clear,
46:55and then keep it to yourself.
47:01Philip, how many T's were hidden in the painting?
47:03Ten.
47:04Maisie?
47:04Five.
47:05Anya?
47:06Sixteen.
47:07Here is the picture.
47:08You can see a T.
47:09Here.
47:10Here.
47:11Here.
47:12On my dungarees.
47:13Oh.
47:14Here.
47:15On the doorbell.
47:16And that is all the T's are a four T's.
47:18We have a winner!
47:19Oh, yeah!
47:20Oh, wow!
47:22The new Taskmaster champion is Maisie Anna!
47:27Nice work, Anthony Maiko!
47:30Give us a round of cheers,
47:31donations.
47:36Goal!
47:45And they're a musical technology!
47:47Sorry, sir.
47:51Oh my gosh!
47:52Because you did!
47:54All the VM's were dark.
47:54The new thing!
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