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Taskmaster - S16E07 - I'm Off to Find a Robin [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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00:34Hello!
00:36Thank you. Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38I'm Greg Davies and I'm a smorgasbord of tasks for you from a wondrous gang of loons.
00:43And if that's not enough, I've also got a second camera trained on me at all times.
00:47Felt cute. Might delete later.
00:51.
00:51We are tipped deep in the competition so let's crack on!
00:55.
01:07And next to me a man who told me that if he sees the pilot of any plane he boards
01:12as a woman he immediately leaves.
01:14.
01:15.
01:15.
01:18Your motor skills are not suited to the job.
01:21LAUGHTER
01:23In Lydia Alex Ford!
01:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:28Hi there. Thank you for my introduction.
01:29You're welcome.
01:30Well, I do worry about these bits, Greg.
01:32I worry that sometimes they create an atmosphere
01:34that isn't entirely pleasant or useful for the show.
01:37They do.
01:37I'm worried that I've created a rod for my own back.
01:40Oh.
01:40Would you like to see it?
01:41Yeah.
01:44I've created a rod for my...
01:46I've created a rod for my own back
01:48and then I talked about the rod and the set-up.
01:51LAUGHTER
01:51So what's the punchline?
01:53Something about hook.
01:54Yeah, I was going...
01:55Oh, I think I've got a bite.
01:57Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:58I think I've got a bite's fine.
02:00Yeah?
02:02LAUGHTER
02:02Have you had Botox?
02:04LAUGHTER
02:04Well, first...
02:07It's a straight yes or no?
02:08It's definitely no.
02:10But why would you ask...?
02:11Cos I just...
02:12In the light, I can see how smooth it all is.
02:15I mean, I'm...
02:16It never used to be smooth.
02:17I'm a lot...
02:18Like, two decades younger.
02:21You had some fillers or something?
02:22No!
02:24On we go with the price tag.
02:27Well, Greg, they've been asked to bring in
02:29the thing that is most guaranteed to make you groan.
02:33Oh.
02:35Oh, dear.
02:37The potential for some awful things is high.
02:39The thing most guaranteed to make you groan,
02:41in Greg's opinion, gets the big five,
02:42and the winner's going to groan their way home
02:44with five groan-worthy things.
02:46Oh.
02:47Oh.
02:48Oh, God.
02:49OK.
02:49I mean, the chances of these not being sexual,
02:51based on what I've seen from these people so far,
02:54are zero.
02:55I'll be less surprised than I was
02:57when I found out Alex's dad...
02:59Cosmetic surgery.
03:02Oh, Sam.
03:04What thing have you brought in that makes you groan?
03:06Oh, this thing is disgusting.
03:08Let's have a look at it.
03:09It's a toothbrush.
03:10Oh!
03:11Oh!
03:12Oh!
03:13Oh, that's against God!
03:14Oh!
03:16There's a lot going on there, isn't there?
03:18I mean, I can barely look at this thing.
03:19It's just...
03:20Don't you find that just really grotty?
03:22I think I'm groaning because I'm so bemused by you.
03:26LAUGHTER
03:27Thanks, Sam.
03:27Next.
03:28All right, Lucy.
03:29It's a serious thing.
03:30OK.
03:31It's a lesson in the importance of cartilage.
03:35LAUGHTER
03:37I'm taking the form of this skeleton.
03:40So it's pointing, obviously, to the areas that have cartilage.
03:46Why is this supposed to make me groan?
03:47If you don't have cartilage, you'll groan when you bend and lift.
03:53LAUGHTER
03:53I'm giving a gift to whoever wins to say,
03:58look after cartilage.
03:58Look after your cartilage.
04:00And how do we look after our cartilage?
04:02We don't know.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:06I mean, both of them have made me groan.
04:08So I suppose, yeah, successful so far.
04:11OK.
04:12Hello, Julian.
04:13Hello.
04:13What have you brought in that might make one groan?
04:16Oh, it's so awful, this.
04:18Every year for my birthday, my husband goes into a shop
04:21and asks them for the most hideous thing they've got on sale.
04:26Right.
04:26And this is what he got me a couple of years ago
04:28and every time I look at it, I groan.
04:31LAUGHTER
04:35It's so awful.
04:37Someone said it looks like Alex without his beard.
04:40LAUGHTER
04:40I don't know, he's got a normal width neck.
04:43LAUGHTER
04:43And it does make me groan every time I see it, which is quite often.
04:46But you can't bring yourself to throw it away because you're...
04:49This is the golden opportunity to pass it on.
04:53Good.
04:54Hello, Sue.
04:55Hello.
04:55What have you brought in that might make a man or a woman groan?
04:58I thought, what would be the best way to make everyone groan?
05:00And I thought, well, maybe if I asked an authority figure.
05:03And so I asked the king of the birdmen and he said yes.
05:07I've got a voice that could stun a goat from over a mile away.
05:12And when I ask for a loud noise, it gets done.
05:16Just ask the winged birdman, Brian Blessed, you groan.
05:21Like your life depends on it.
05:24Come on, come on.
05:27Groan!
05:28You feckless bastard!
05:31Come on!
05:32Groan!
05:33The full recording is on this memory stick.
05:35You've really outdone yourself there, Perkins.
05:37That's awful.
05:37That is stupendous.
05:39Susan.
05:39Oh!
05:41Traditionally, this is not your strongest round.
05:44No.
05:44And you're following a recording of Brian Blessed.
05:47I...
05:47Good luck.
05:48As Greg so kindly said, I have been performing quite poorly
05:54when it comes to the prizes.
05:55And here are a few of the shit prizes.
06:00That's actually very great.
06:01One big present to make you groan.
06:05So have you collected these from the previous winners of the show?
06:07Yes, I have.
06:08They're all so shit that all these guys actually gave them back to me.
06:13That's very good.
06:15Right, I'm going to give out some quick points.
06:17All right, then.
06:17Who is the least likely to make you groan?
06:19Well, I'm not going to give anyone one point, because I liked all of them.
06:21So that's good, isn't it?
06:22That's surprising.
06:23And I'm going to give Sam and Lucy two points.
06:25And I'll tell you why.
06:26It's because it was their explanation that made me groan, not the item.
06:29Right.
06:29Two points each.
06:30Well done.
06:30Yeah, that's good, isn't it?
06:32That's right.
06:33Um, I'm going to give...
06:33LAUGHTER
06:36I'm going to give Julian three points.
06:38Ask me why.
06:39Why are you going to give Julian three points?
06:40Because that thing's awful.
06:41It does make me groan.
06:42But the sentiment behind it is rather lovely, I think.
06:44Oh.
06:45And so I'm sort of not giving him too many points to celebrate his wonderful marriage.
06:49Oh.
06:49There's a logic there somewhere.
06:50OK.
06:51I'm going to give Susan, because my God, she's had a nightmare in this series.
06:55I'm going to give her four points for her very clever idea of getting her shit prizes back and putting
06:59them all together.
07:00And of course, Brian Blessed will get the five points.
07:03There we go.
07:04It's five points to Sue Peckin.
07:05Yeah!
07:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:08Right.
07:09Let's stop talking about cosmetic surgery.
07:12LAUGHTER
07:13And let the task in commence.
07:15But be warned, it's a minefield out there, Greg.
07:18MUSIC PLAYS
07:24MUSIC PLAYS
07:25MUSIC PLAYS
07:29Hello?
07:31Can I come in?
07:33Please do.
07:34This looks fiendish.
07:35Look at all these bells.
07:37Oh!
07:39That says don't on it.
07:41But I do.
07:42I want to.
07:42I won't.
07:43OK.
07:44Oh!
07:45Piss it!
07:47I know.
07:48Right.
07:49I found some little bits of paper that say vibration danger.
07:53Big light.
07:56Leaves.
07:57Sound.
07:58UV light.
07:59Smoke.
08:01Vibration.
08:02I was going to have summer's party.
08:05Do whatever you like with these switches for five minutes.
08:07OK.
08:08You will then do a task in the lab for five minutes.
08:11All right.
08:12The conditions in the lab will change according to when you switch the switches in here.
08:17So there's a cause and effect situation.
08:20The annoying thing is I don't know what the switches do.
08:23I have told you what the switches do.
08:25It's all on those labels.
08:25Your time starts when Alex is confident you understand the task.
08:32Confident and Alex are two words one doesn't associate.
08:37I wonder what the task is.
08:38What do we put in there?
08:40Leaves.
08:40Leaves.
08:41Surely that's the main switch.
08:42I expect danger is that one.
08:45I don't know.
08:46I don't think I trust you.
08:48What's that one?
08:49I don't know what that one is.
08:50So like with this, what's the point of like trying to like...
08:54What will people be?
08:57APPLAUSE
08:58I really think that piss it is an underrated exclamation.
09:02I really enjoy piss it.
09:04It's lovely, isn't it?
09:05It's nice.
09:05It's harmless.
09:06It's warm.
09:09The task, as far as I can work out, before we get on a bit,
09:12is largely arbitrary.
09:14They don't know which label goes with which switch.
09:16Bit like giving a toy to a child and saying,
09:18don't play with that for five minutes.
09:19Yeah.
09:19And probably they all did.
09:20Let's crack on.
09:21Yeah.
09:22OK, get ready, Greg.
09:23Here they all are, flicking themselves silly.
09:26Oh, God.
09:28I'm confident you understand the task.
09:30Your time starts now.
09:33I'll start with little leaves.
09:35If I leave it under, leaves keep coming.
09:37Well, it depends if it is leaves, of course.
09:38Of course.
09:39Yeah.
09:40I turn it off again.
09:41Right.
09:42That one's already on, so I'll turn that one off.
09:49I mean, that's danger, right there.
09:51That nearly took my hand off.
09:52Well, it does say don't.
09:53I mean, lights are not going to bother me, are they?
09:56I'm going to give myself a bit of time once I'm in there,
09:58just to muck around.
10:07Blimey, it's all happening.
10:09This one?
10:10That one?
10:12All right.
10:13Now we're going to...
10:14Oh, no.
10:14Wait a second, would you?
10:21It wasn't a very long rest.
10:23No.
10:24I'm going to have a bit of this one.
10:25I don't what, though?
10:27I don't like going upside down.
10:30Spiders.
10:31Hot dogs.
10:32You know, the ones in tins.
10:39I don't like...
10:39You know, if you pull cotton wool apart...
10:44Fuck music.
10:47I don't like ice cubes.
10:50What if that's leaves?
10:51I've been denied the pleasure of leaves.
10:5330 seconds.
11:01Almost done there?
11:02Three seconds.
11:08OK.
11:08I'll see you in the lab, Sam.
11:10Well...
11:10Yeah.
11:10Great.
11:12What have I done?
11:15Oh, dear.
11:16What have I done?
11:22What have you done, Julian, do you think?
11:24Well, we just didn't know.
11:26You know, it was quite a long time.
11:27No, and yet, across the series,
11:28you seem a very intelligent man to me,
11:30and yet you spent a long time
11:32flicking those switches on and off.
11:33Well, there was nothing else to do.
11:36There was no cheery chat from Alex.
11:38No.
11:39There never is.
11:41Well, Sam said,
11:42I want to buy myself some time
11:43once I'm in there to muck around.
11:47Yeah.
11:48It is about that, in a way.
11:50Mm.
11:51You know, when two samurai encounter...
11:54This is real.
11:55Yeah.
11:56When they encounter each other,
11:58they're like, do you know what I mean?
11:59And the first one to move will often be slain.
12:04And also, a samurai can tell if he will defeat another samurai
12:07just by watching them make a cup of tea,
12:10because they're like, they see how effective they are.
12:14I've moved.
12:15I'm happy to be slain just to get out of this chat.
12:19What's next, Alex?
12:20Here are Sam and Susan and the results of their switching.
12:25Oh, my God.
12:34So you've decided...
12:35Oh, my God.
12:36Yeah.
12:37You've decided the conditions for this task.
12:38Yeah.
12:39I'm scared.
12:41I'm scared.
12:41What happens in here is all your fault.
12:43OK.
12:46Feet close together, please.
12:48Why?
12:48It's important.
12:51That's not good for balance.
12:52No.
12:53Balance the most teas on the shelves.
12:55So these are the teas.
12:56Uh-huh.
12:57OK.
12:57Oh, you must stay on the platform throughout the task.
13:01You have five minutes.
13:02Your time starts when Alex is confident you understand the task.
13:06Where are the golf tees?
13:07Here.
13:08Where are the shelves?
13:09Here.
13:11I'm going to start the clock now.
13:14I'm absolutely terrified.
13:24Do you like it?
13:30My method was kind of doing everything at once.
13:33So I guess everything wild will happen.
13:41Sam Campbell.
13:43Sam Campbell.
13:44Sam Campbell.
13:46Sam Campbell.
13:47Why is it saying my name?
13:49Well, you switch the sound button on.
13:50Sam Campbell.
13:51I can't work under these conditions.
13:54Oh, my God.
14:00Sam Campbell.
14:02Sam Campbell.
14:04Sam Campbell.
14:08Now what a time we have to you've got two minutes 50 left no tease yet
14:17Can you remember what you did now and then oh this is when I have a break yes, right fine
14:21Well, then this is the most I'm gonna get odd. Oh, yeah, it was only like 30 seconds, wasn't it
14:2620?
14:30I mean, how is that falling off even through that when you turned on the vibration switch now?
14:34I know I shouldn't touch any of the bloody switches. That's gonna ruin it
14:51Some trouble some trouble some trouble
15:00That was really tough
15:05I think that's pretty bloody good
15:11I think that being juggled around on a vibrating platform it sort of suits you
15:16Yes
15:17No, no, does that make sense?
15:19You're not the first person to say that
15:22Well, we saw just two, but she did realize halfway through if she hadn't pressed any of the switches at
15:28all
15:28The conditions would have been perfect and that's sort of key to this really if they've not flicked any switches
15:33Yeah, just chilled out
15:35Sam actually did pretty well, right?
15:37Well, he created all of his flicking in a short period of time
15:39He did well despite that I'd say so he created a method of balancing the teas within a task which
15:44is balancing on it
15:45And he also balanced a bowl on the bottom of the shell, so I don't know if that counts
15:48I thought that creation was legit
15:51Oh, okay
15:52Well, then he got sort of 87, I suppose
15:54Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
15:55Really? Wow
15:56I know
15:57Yeah, I guess I'll take 87, yeah
15:59Right, join us after the break
16:01If I were you, I'd leave that guff-soaked sofa and get some fresh air for a few minutes
16:05Fart outside!
16:06Live in it at all!
16:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:13MUSIC PLAYS
16:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:19Hello! Hello!
16:20I'm afraid to say you've woken me from my power nap and I'm not a happy boy
16:24Chill out, dude
16:25Before the break, the cast were presented with some switches
16:29Fully aware that how and when and if they were switched would directly affect the conditions of the next task
16:34Here is everyone else
16:36LAUGHTER
16:37Your time starts now
16:40I'll start with a bit of leaves
16:49MUSIC PLAYS
16:50Immediately with the leaves
16:52Oh, let's see, oh, it was leaves, it was leaves!
16:54It was leaves, it was leaves!
16:56If I need to...
17:00What do I say?
17:06LAUGHTER
17:06Fucking hell, sorry!
17:08LAUGHTER
17:09Please!
17:10MUSIC PLAYS
17:12Oh, for God's sake
17:14Sue Perkins
17:16Sue Perkins
17:17Oh, I don't want to listen to that
17:18Sue Perkins
17:19No, I don't want to listen to that
17:20Sue Perkins
17:21Sue Perkins
17:22What?
17:23Sue Perkins
17:25I just farted off
17:27Sue Perkins
17:28It was magical
17:29Sue Perkins
17:31Don't make me fart in the darkness into my own name
17:35Sue Perkins
17:37Don't like UV light very much
17:40My mum thinks it was because I was in an incubator to help me grow
17:47Sue Perkins
17:49Sue Perkins
17:49Sue Perkins
17:51Yeah
17:51Sue Perkins
17:52Yeah
17:53WHISTLE
17:54WHISTLE
17:55WHISTLE
17:55WHISTLE
17:57And we're done
17:59Can you stop me vibrating?
18:01Yeah
18:04Thank you, Julian
18:05Thank you
18:06Goodbye, Sue
18:08That sounded very final
18:09And after what I've done in this room
18:10I don't play me
18:11I'm so sorry for everyone
18:20Did you enjoy that tuft, Julian?
18:22I did quite
18:23And then it was very sensory, wasn't it, with all the lights and the movement?
18:27It was better than some I've sat through, anyway
18:29There was a slight issue with Julian's
18:31Which we didn't really show there
18:32But the vibration machine, it wouldn't turn off afterwards
18:34So he was...
18:35Remember, you were on it for another minute
18:37After...
18:38Get your thrills where you can at my age
18:41Sue, you said, in my opinion
18:43The greatest thing that's ever been said on this show
18:47Please don't make me fart in the dark listening to my own name
18:54Can I ask you about Sue's technique of balance?
18:56They're not balanced, you poke them through the shelf
18:59I was really desperate at that point
19:01Because I...
19:02Yeah, I know, because the...
19:04Yeah, but is it more balanced than me just putting a bowl on the table?
19:09Yeah, you did allow 87 from Sam
19:11Yeah
19:11In that bottle plunked on the bottom shelf
19:13Oh!
19:14No, I wasn't allowing that
19:16I was allowing...
19:16Sorry, there's been some confusion
19:18Ah
19:18I was allowing his, um, system of hanging things
19:22Ah
19:22Sorry
19:23Now I feel really bad
19:24No, yeah, you've really fucked Sam over there
19:27Yeah, you're pretty good at sticking things into other places
19:30Yeah
19:30No one's into bags
19:31It's balanced!
19:32It's balanced, man
19:33So we're saying that Sue didn't balance any teas?
19:36I'm afraid we are
19:37Because they were quite clearly pushed through the shelf
19:40That is very harsh, but I accept it always
19:42I should also tell you then that Julian did manage to balance nine teas on his shelves
19:47Whoop!
19:48Lucy, 19!
19:50APPLAUSE
19:53What we haven't seen yet is the don't switch
19:56Danger did go with don't
19:57Shall we see what the danger switch did?
19:59Yes, please
20:00OK, good luck, everyone
20:01Here we go
20:03I've spent however long just trying to avoid that button
20:06That's all I've thought about the moment I've walked in
20:09I mean, I've been brought up well
20:11If something tells me not to touch it, I'm not going to touch it
20:15Right, I'm going to start the task now
20:20I can't say I wasn't warned
20:23Still got one minute 45
20:26Oh!
20:27I'm going to go for this one
20:30How much danger can I endure? Ten seconds worth?
20:32Well, you have now ten seconds left
20:36Five seconds left, Lucy
20:41Do you want me to press the button?
20:43You can't now, unfortunately
20:46You can't now, unfortunately
20:48I'm going to go for this one
20:56Do you know what? I was ten seconds away from avoiding my baser instincts
20:59And I failed
21:02Oh
21:06I really like it when you're disappointed in us
21:09Is that something wrong with me?
21:12Well, we weren't to know that was going to happen
21:13We did say don't
21:15Yeah
21:17Heartbreaking, but good news to old Lucy
21:19Yes
21:20Yeah, I think she only didn't press it because she ran out of time
21:22She wanted to
21:23No, I wasn't going to
21:24No, no
21:25Were you a well-behaved child?
21:27I had to be
21:28Yeah
21:28Oh, even me too
21:29My mum was incredibly violent
21:35Where does all that leave us?
21:37Well, it means that no one gets any points
21:39They were all disqualified
21:40Except for Lucy Byamon, who gets five points
21:44Let's have a look at the scoreboard, can we?
21:46We can
21:46And unsurprisingly, Lucy's in the lead with seven points
21:49Yes
21:49Well done, Lucy
21:53Let's have another one, please
21:54Yes
21:55In your face, Greg
22:09Sorry, I didn't mean to kick the door, sorry
22:12What larks?
22:14Already this is my favourite
22:15Yeah, me too
22:16I've always wanted to be a clown
22:18Mixed emotions
22:20Mainly joy
22:24Oh, that's not edible
22:26Now, fear
22:28Any sign of that secret task yet?
22:33Pie Wayne in the face
22:35Don't know who Wayne is
22:37Do you know many Waynes?
22:39Do you know many Waynes?
22:39Rooney
22:41Not him
22:41Wayne is outside the front door
22:43You may not touch Wayne, nor step on the red green
22:49The red green?
22:51Now what the hell is that?
22:53Well, you know a green?
22:54Yeah
22:54Read one of them
22:55If you miss Wayne with a pie
22:57You must copy Wayne's dance moves for ten seconds
23:01You must not touch Wayne
23:03Fastest wins
23:04Your time starts when you open the front door
23:07Who is Wayne?
23:08Do you know him?
23:09I don't know him well
23:10You can't touch any part of Wayne, I need to make that clear
23:13I understand boundaries
23:15Okay
23:16Are these top-ups?
23:17Yeah
23:17Okay
23:19Not a lot of faith in me then, is there?
23:21So do I take more than one pie?
23:23I'm not likely to miss him, am I?
23:30I'll start the clock as soon as you open the door
23:35Oh, I see
23:41Hiya, Wayne
23:48That's Wayne
23:50Oh yeah, there he is
23:53In the face
23:55In the face
23:55In the face
23:55Alright
24:01That's brilliant
24:12Not a great incentive to come back, is it?
24:14Do you think sometimes you've lost some of the innocent joy of childhood, Julian?
24:19Because everybody else saw Wayne and went
24:21Oh!
24:22He started laughing and you went
24:24Oh, I see
24:24I was like, that's just a child, I'm afraid
24:30Nothing's changed
24:32So basically, they're going to be pieing one of those wavy armed men from outside garages in the face
24:37Not a great incentive to come back, is it, Alex?
24:40No, but I could, I could sing my favourite hymn
24:43Yes?
24:44Yeah, alright, that'll do
24:46APPLAUSE
24:47THEY CHANG
24:56THEY CHANG
24:57Be thou my vision
24:59O Lord of my heart
25:02Nought be all else to me
25:06Save that thou art
25:12APPLAUSE
25:13Welcome back. Taskmaster is part three,
25:15and I want to see waving man Wayne get biding the face.
25:18Oh, I agree too, Greg.
25:22Remember, as is common practice on Taskmaster,
25:24they can't stand on the red-green.
25:26So let's begin with Susie and Susanna.
25:30So, Wayne's going to be operated by a switch.
25:32I've got to try and find the switch.
25:34That's part of him. That's his umbilical cord.
25:36Oh, so I can't...
25:42Right!
25:47That's not his face.
25:51You must dance.
25:52Ah!
26:04That's ten seconds!
26:06That's ten seconds.
26:07Be careful.
26:08Lovely. Thank you, sir.
26:14Okay!
26:16Mummy!
26:18Oh!
26:20Ah!
26:23Sue!
26:31Thank you, Sue!
26:33Wayne's my favourite!
26:35Come on, you little shit!
26:37Sir!
26:38Oh!
26:39Sir!
26:39Oh!
26:39Oh!
26:41Christ!
26:53I can't see anything now!
26:56I can't see anything now!
26:57Basically, Dennis's rather.
26:58Okay!
26:59Yeah, that's ten seconds.
27:00Whoop!
27:02Why did you have to pick this one after lunch?
27:05Come on!
27:07Oh!
27:08Oh!
27:09Oh!
27:10Oh!
27:10Oh!
27:11Shit!
27:13I've stopped the clock!
27:14Did I get it?
27:15Yeah!
27:22Where is his umbilicus?
27:32The naughty flamingo's gonna touch him!
27:36Naughty flamingo!
27:41Little fucker!
27:43Don't touch him!
27:46Come on, naughty flamingo!
27:48You've won that up!
27:49Stop and fill!
27:53Pin him!
27:57Take it!
27:59Let's go of the clock tree!
28:05It felt like it was a bit of a grudge for you in the end.
28:08Yeah, I mean...
28:09Take it, you little fucker!
28:12Yeah.
28:13There's only so much expressive dance I can do and I don't have the training,
28:15Susan's got training,
28:16she's got, you know, the depth of experience,
28:18she understands the biomechanics of the human form and art in general.
28:22I was just very, very frustrated and then blind
28:24and then the naughty flamingo spared my blood.
28:27I like to see that sort of lateral flinking.
28:29The naughty flamingo was allowed to touch Wayne.
28:32Yes, yes, the flamingo could touch Wayne.
28:34Yeah, and did.
28:35And did.
28:36Now, Susan's told us repeatedly that she trained for three years at Radha.
28:41And I put it to you, Susan, you weren't even attempting to pie Wayne for most of it.
28:44You were just enjoying the interpretive dance.
28:47Yeah, yeah, and that's...
28:48I just was so...
28:50Like, as you say, when I saw him, it was so glorious and I'd sort of forgot the point of
28:55it.
28:55Yeah.
28:56But I had a good time.
28:57But the final pie-ing was...
28:58Well, it caught us by surprise.
28:59It caught me by surprise.
29:01Yeah.
29:01Three awful throws, got nowhere near.
29:03The fourth, right in the face, only took her a minute 39.
29:06Wow!
29:09And what about the old grudge match over there?
29:11Naughty flamingo lady.
29:12Yeah.
29:13Seven minutes 25.
29:15Wow.
29:15A little bit longer.
29:16Who's next?
29:17OK, we've seen the Seuss.
29:18Now for Julian, Sam, Lucy and Wayne again.
29:26Julian, that's not his face.
29:28Now you have to dance on the dancing mat.
29:37That's lovely, Julian.
29:43Are you OK?
29:44Oh, what are you looking for?
29:46Something to get wearing down.
29:53Is that on his face?
29:55No, afraid not.
30:03That's lovely, Julian.
30:05I've got to get another pie.
30:06OK.
30:11I bought this for him.
30:13Can I try and mazoo him?
30:19Now you have to dance, Julian.
30:25My enthusiasm for the dancing...
30:27Yeah.
30:28..has rained, doesn't it?
30:29It has rained.
30:41Oh!
30:50Pretty close!
31:01Can you hold the other end of that to trap him?
31:04To trap what? I'll do what I'm told.
31:08No, no, no, stop that!
31:10I've got to get this way.
31:13I've got him, surely! Surely! Surely I've got him!
31:17I've got him! I've got him! I've got him big time!
31:33That's not my problem, is it?
31:38There you are. I've stopped the thought. Thank you.
31:51Wait, don't touch me, Wayne!
31:56I've stopped the clock.
32:00Wow.
32:01Got him. I've got Wayne.
32:07Julian, your pie technique was dreadful, but I thought you were a very graceful dancer.
32:13Oh, thank you. You're welcome.
32:15Anything else to say?
32:16Nope.
32:18I thought the most dramatic thing we were going to see in those attempts was some shouting,
32:24I've got him big time.
32:27He had it too good for too long.
32:31What turned out to be the most dramatic thing was Julian Clary taking Wayne down with a swing ball.
32:36Yeah.
32:36That was the most dramatic thing.
32:37Lucy, did you think the task was touch Wayne as much as you can?
32:42The swing ball touched him.
32:44As well, yeah.
32:45Oh, you touched him big time.
32:46But how?
32:47With your hands.
32:48He touched me.
32:52You did touch Wayne, and even if you didn't, there was one other rule which you may have broken as
32:56well.
32:57What?
32:57You weren't allowed to touch the red-green, of course. We always know that. This is what happened.
33:12Well over.
33:13Oh, no.
33:14Why are you zooming in on people's feet, you sucker?
33:18That's the fetish, that is.
33:21I mean, I am going to disqualify them, but I also agree with them. You are sick.
33:27The three of them, very similar times. Lucy actually 3 minutes 25, as relevant as that is.
33:32Yeah.
33:33Julian 3.32, Sam 3 minutes 40.
33:36So what that means is that Sue and Lucy don't get any points.
33:40Oh, fuck you.
33:45So you know what? He's smiling, but he's hurting.
33:48The reason you can't see he's hurting.
33:50LAUGHTER
33:57Because you do look like you have had to go.
34:01He does.
34:01But you look as smooth as fiberglass.
34:04LAUGHTER
34:04He's right. You look like a canoe.
34:07LAUGHTER
34:08So, Sam, you get three points, Julian four, but five points gets to Susan Wakama.
34:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:16OK, and now time for some product placement.
34:32There's a bee out there.
34:34Is there?
34:35Yeah.
34:36OK.
34:39Sorry.
34:40Shouldn't have come in too big, should I?
34:43Perkins.
34:44Hold on.
34:48Oh, God.
34:52Oh, look, it's me.
34:53You both look great.
35:04She's pretty.
35:07Erm...
35:08Clans.
35:11Oh, it's me with my eyes shut.
35:14Oh, I do all of my pictures like this.
35:17I should have...
35:17I never told you, did I?
35:24LAUGHTER
35:24Put yourself somewhere within...
35:27Put yourself somewhere within the...
35:30She's putting me off.
35:32LAUGHTER
35:33Put yourself...
35:34LAUGHTER
35:36If that started walking away, I mean...
35:39So a freak time.
35:40Put yourself somewhere within the boundary.
35:44LAUGHTER
35:45Put yourself somewhere within the boundary.
35:47That's what my therapist says.
35:49The person furthest from everyone else wins.
35:52The people closest together both lose two points.
35:55Also, throughout the task, you must behave really weirdly.
36:00You must behave really weirdly.
36:04Really weirdly.
36:05Weirdly.
36:06Weirdly.
36:07You have to tell me twice.
36:09You've got a maximum of ten minutes.
36:12Your time starts now.
36:14So, you've just got to think, where would Sue Perkins put Sue Perkins?
36:19Well, there's no way of knowing, is there?
36:21No.
36:22No, there isn't.
36:23LAUGHTER
36:25APPLAUSE
36:26I think that some tasks are unfairly stacked in favour of some contestants.
36:30I mean, I don't want to pick on people, but I have written down
36:32that throughout this, sometimes Lucy and Sam have come across as,
36:37well, I've written absolutely deranged.
36:39LAUGHTER
36:44APPLAUSE
36:46That's another part complete.
36:48If you want to see someone forced to take home Susan's prizes
36:52for a second time, then by all means, please join us again for part four by...
36:57APPLAUSE
37:07Hello, welcome back to the final part of the show.
37:12Yes, and welcome to those who aren't watching Taskmaster 2.
37:14That's absolutely fine.
37:16It's about time we found out where the five competitors placed the cutouts
37:19of themselves.
37:20The person furthest from everyone else wins,
37:22but the two people closest together each lose two points.
37:25Ouch! Here's what they did.
37:28Behave weirdly.
37:29Shall I behave like you?
37:31Like... Yes, please.
37:33LAUGHTER
37:34That would help.
37:39LAUGHTER
37:40LAUGHTER
37:47OLE!
37:48OLE!
37:48OLE!
37:48OLE!
37:50OLE!
37:51OLE!
37:52OLE!
37:52OLE!
37:52OLE!
37:57OLE!
37:58OLE!
38:00OLE!
38:00I don't think anyone would be as obvious as...
38:03I don't think anyone would be as obvious as this.
38:07LAUGHTER
38:10There's an argument for just popping...
38:14myself...
38:15just there.
38:16OLE!
38:17OLE!
38:18OLE!
38:18OLE!
38:19OLE!
38:19OLE!
38:19OLE!
38:20OLE!
38:20OLE!
38:20OLE!
38:20OLE!
38:20OLE!
38:21OLE!
38:21OLE!
38:23OLE!
38:24OLE!
38:25OLE!
38:27OLE!
38:32OLE!
38:35Julian Clary
38:38That's quite near your one. Yeah, why have you put it so close to Julian Clary?
38:44We've still got eight minutes
38:57Only only
39:00So I'll tear his head off
39:03Is that me then like what makes you you well, this is where your head is or your heart or
39:08your
39:09It'll be a discussion
39:12But for some people this isn't weird this is exercise. It's me up the way as it gets
39:24I'm off fishing now
39:27So is it me that like fishing in this scenario? Don't you like fishing don't think bird watching? Yes, please?
39:33There is something boring, right?
39:36We'll have to find a robin
39:38Where do you think Julian Clary's gonna put himself?
39:42Sam Campbell
39:44They're gonna be doing this, they're gonna be like, whoo!
39:48Oh
39:48I think it's now not near anybody
39:58Could do that
40:00But will that be far enough away?
40:01Hey!
40:05Okay
40:06Something about the boundary line
40:09Right
40:09On the horns
40:10By the boundary line
40:12Throw a coin on you
40:13Then the coin toss it
40:19Thanks, Sam
40:20Heads for that deer's head
40:22Tails for
40:23On the boundary line
40:29Ƥtseling
40:31Julian displays a continual, and to me, delightful contempt for Alex
40:37And this is the Zenith, I think, doing an insulting impression of him
40:41Can I see it again?
40:42Yes
40:45Nothing I could do to help you
40:47Is that enough?
40:49Yeah, that was before his surgery
41:01What we need to know is what the coin decided to sue of course before we do I'll appraise you
41:08for a very
41:08creditable Chewbacca impression
41:13we're gonna find out if Sue is near the tossed head this is it on the deer this is the
41:17cliffhanger
41:18Yeah, it's all about the toss. Here we go heads for that deer's head tails for on the boundary line
41:30Thank you, Sue. Thank you
41:51I knew what happened and even I was swept
41:56The coin was so cruel unfortunately the people closest to each other lost two points listen
42:01I'm just grateful. I don't think I was disqualified in that you weren't but you don't get any points
42:06Because the distances from one another we can see it here Sam was
42:1014.24 meters away from everyone Lucy second 13 Julian third Sue fourth Susan fifth
42:16But Julian and Susan both lose two points
42:18So it ends up being one point Susan none to sue one to Julian four to Lucy and five points
42:22to Sam Campbell
42:29Progress so in a way because you've been disqualified. Yeah, but at least you've got no points
42:36It's tight except for sue Lucy you're filling the lead with 11 points
42:44Okay, everyone please make you raise the stage for a final task of the show
42:56Who will be reading the task? Sue Perkins catch three balls on your head after you've caught a ball you
43:04must shout ball
43:06You may not step off your circles move your circles
43:10adjust your arms or touch the balls with your hands the fastest wins can we cooperate I
43:19Guess we'll find out
43:22Good luck on your marks get there
43:25And they're off
43:27Well, they're immediately
43:40You're going to get a winner over here
43:48Oh
43:49We have a winner over here
43:50Oh
44:17Come in there's one thing on there's one coming incoming
44:20This is a
44:21This is a baseball
44:24And then say it one more time
44:26Oh
44:28Come down we'll now back to the final scores
44:31Come and join me
44:32CHEERING
44:35That was exciting
44:37Mmm not for the first time the group confounded us by working together
44:41They did
44:41One to sue two to Susan three to Lucy four to Sam five to Julian Clary
44:46Well done
44:49In many ways we have three people in the 90s now in terms of the series Susan you are in
44:54last place on 92
44:55Lovely
44:56Sue 95 Lucy 99 then jump up to Julian on 108 Sam's in the lead on 120
45:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:05Incredible
45:06Yes
45:06What's the final scoreboard for today?
45:08Well it's a tight one
45:09Sue
45:10Stranded on six
45:12The rest it goes 12, 13, 14, 14
45:14Lucy and Sam
45:15Joint winners
45:16Yay!
45:16No!
45:17Yay!
45:19So we have a tile break situation
45:20Yes
45:21Tile breaks are very serious matters and we're going to settle this one right here on the studio floor
45:27In my drawer I have two party poppers
45:30Oh I don't like them
45:32What are you going to do?
45:33Sam and Lucy will fire their party poppers from their seated positions
45:36And the person who fires the contents of their party popper furthest wins
45:38Simple as that
45:39We're all out of budget
45:42Lucy you ready?
45:43Three
45:44Three
45:45Two
45:46One
45:47Pop
45:47Set
45:48I believe this is yours for taking
45:52Wow
45:54You're going to have to measure this
45:55LAUGHTER
45:59Perfect
45:59Thank you sir
46:01In the furthest pin
46:04108 centimetres
46:08123 centimetres
46:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:13Lucy Beaumont Wings
46:15Please go and gather your gifts and groans
46:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:20I hate that
46:23So what have we learnt today?
46:26We've learnt that in a thousand years when the people of the future look back and somehow try to understand
46:31how our society worked
46:32What were we all about?
46:34There is one thing alone that they will be sure of
46:36Show them a picture of Sue Perkins and they will all go
46:39Oh yeah
46:39That's the lady who didn't like farting in the dark
46:42To the sound of her own name
46:44Only three episodes to go
46:46So let's appreciate tonight's winner once more
46:49It's Lucy Beaumont
46:51APPLAUSE
46:53APPLAUSE
46:58APPLAUSE
47:02APPLAUSE
47:03You all cƓt
47:20Among Us
47:23Not many people in the dark
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