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Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:04Please save my child.
00:00:22Rod of a sepulius.
00:00:41Rejuvenate.
00:00:50Graze, she is the healer goddess.
00:00:54No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:57I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:03Here you go, miss.
00:01:08Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:12in need?
00:01:25You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:30run!
00:01:33Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:43Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:48Rejuvenate.
00:01:52See? Good as the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb.
00:01:58Come on, Cleo. Let's go!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:15Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years. We have no idea what the illness is. If
00:02:22anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:24The Elizander Armstrong! His military family basically owns the entire global stock market!
00:02:30He's so hot! Does he come with the money?
00:02:34Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him. Money. Fame. Power. It's all yours.
00:02:44Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:47Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:50Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:54Grandma!
00:02:55I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:02:58Grandma?
00:03:00Grandma.
00:03:01When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:05I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:07And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:14Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:21We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:25Oh, no!
00:03:34Please go feed your dog, miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:38Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:42Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:45The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:49What? Oh, geez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:54Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:57I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:00Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:04:05I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:10Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:12Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:17Hold still.
00:04:25My migraine's gone. Okay, then let's go. If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you. Come on. Come
00:04:31on.
00:04:31Oh!
00:04:45How is he? What is the diagnosis? Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:51I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:54Aren't you the queen of medicine? You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:57Don't worry, General. I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:03I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:24I have no clue what this is.
00:05:28Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:33That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:36Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:38I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:50He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:52Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:05:59Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:06:05If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:09Who?
00:06:13The goddess of healing.
00:06:18Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess you.
00:06:21That's correct. Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:28That's her motto.
00:06:29It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:34She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:39If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:45bankrupt.
00:06:46I will find her. James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
00:06:52Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:57There's no need.
00:07:12I'll save your son.
00:07:15Who the hell is she?
00:07:16Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:18She's gonna save your brother? Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:21How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:25Exactly.
00:07:26God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:29She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:32Ew! She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:36I bet it has fleas.
00:07:38That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:42Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:49Don't touch him.
00:07:52They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:54But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:57So step aside.
00:07:59I'll take it from here.
00:08:01Could you hold this?
00:08:02Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:03You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:05I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:09I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:12I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:18Who knows what an unskilled whore girl like her would do for some.
00:08:22A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:29Ew!
00:08:30Disgusting.
00:08:30Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:33Security!
00:08:34Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:37Let's go.
00:08:38If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:45Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
00:08:50Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:53You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:56Alright, I'll give you a shot.
00:08:59But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:05Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:08You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:10And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:13But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:18Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:20No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:22My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:24I can't lose him.
00:09:26Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:32My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:36Also, he's great with puppies. He'd make a great husband.
00:09:42Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:44As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:50Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:53I mean, look at her. Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:09:59Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:04Continue wasting your time.
00:10:06But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:17What happened?
00:10:18Oh, okay!
00:10:20What's happening?
00:10:22What are we doing?
00:10:32Oh!
00:10:34What the hell are you doing?
00:10:36I knew she was a perv!
00:10:38She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:41Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:45Are you insane?
00:10:46Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:10:50He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:10:57Yeah, right!
00:10:58I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him!
00:11:01Oh, okay.
00:11:02I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:05I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:11:08And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:11:15This?
00:11:22Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:11:25What?
00:11:27What?
00:11:27So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, THE rod of a sepulius?
00:11:33Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:38I agree.
00:11:39I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point as of doctors who have studied
00:11:45for years?
00:11:46We are all certified.
00:11:48But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:11:51She's right about everything.
00:11:55Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:00And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:12:04Endogenic cryomorphie.
00:12:05Oh.
00:12:06And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:12:08Because I just discovered it.
00:12:10This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:12:15The chances are a billion to one.
00:12:16A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:12:19But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:12:24What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:26I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:12:30Precisely.
00:12:31You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:12:34You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:12:39I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:12:43Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:12:46And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
00:12:50which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:12:54Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:56Oh, yeah.
00:12:58If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:02I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:13:05Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:13:09What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:10It means you're being schooled by me, and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:13:16Then let's have a bet.
00:13:18If you can't heal him, you'll break your hands.
00:13:23And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:13:28Mm-hmm.
00:13:29Mm-hmm.
00:13:30These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:13:34You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:37Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:13:41There's too many lives at stake.
00:13:44Don't worry. I got this.
00:13:49It's a deal.
00:13:51I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:53No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:01Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:14:08Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:12Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:14:24I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:14:27I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:14:30I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:14:35Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:14:38Wait, wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:14:40Don't listen to her.
00:14:42She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:14:47Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:14:50Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:14:58What? Did you just call me?
00:15:02There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:15:07Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:15:10Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:15:17Oh, yeah?
00:15:18Hey, you wanna see real pain? Where's the dog?
00:15:20Well, put down the dog!
00:15:22With pleasure.
00:15:32Oh!
00:15:38Left leaves the wrong breast.
00:15:44You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:15:51She's been poisoned!
00:15:53It was her!
00:15:54Do you see any poison on me?
00:15:57Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:03This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:16:06Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:08Of course!
00:16:10I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:16:13If I wanna save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:16:33Why is she skinning blood?
00:16:34This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:36I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way.
00:16:39Angel herbalist.
00:16:40This is what I call...
00:16:43Malpractice.
00:16:45This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:16:47But she deserves a little punishment.
00:16:49Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:51Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:52Right this way.
00:16:54Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:55What the hell is going on?
00:16:56You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:01Then stop getting in my way. Every second counts.
00:17:05Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:17:09Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:17:11General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:17:16Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:20Hold on, you two are going in there alone?
00:17:24If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:17:30All right, but I warn you, no funny business.
00:17:34Thanks.
00:17:35Thanks.
00:17:49Thanks.
00:17:55Thanks.
00:18:06Thanks.
00:18:10Thanks.
00:18:16Thanks.
00:18:35you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman general
00:18:40armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him she could blackmail you for millions
00:18:47that's what i would do if i was that poor and then the armstrong family will be the laughing
00:18:52stock of the nation held for ransom by a homeless woman dad you can't seriously be listening to that
00:18:59we have to have faith where did you actually find this low light uh on the streets are you shitting
00:19:09me you found this bum on the streets are you nuts you don't know her you don't know her background
00:19:15she could be a psychotic murder that is it general you have to go in and stop this now you're
00:19:20right
00:19:20that's it i'm shutting down this clown show right now james let's go yes sir
00:19:28oh my
00:19:28i told you all to stay out
00:19:42this is a critical moment for you we can't be interrupted otherwise we'd both die
00:19:51i'm not gonna let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son
00:19:57i'm gonna save him myself
00:20:03you see that general this isn't just a gull-dicking con woman this is a witchcraft
00:20:10i know what this is this is the dark witch i've heard of her she uses her dark magic to
00:20:17steal the
00:20:18hearts of young handsome men and then she eats them alive
00:20:21oh i'm gonna kill that bitch before she takes my son james get the swat team yes sir
00:20:31you regain consciousness
00:20:42help me i just want
00:20:49something's wrong
00:20:53you were drunk with an aphrodisiac
00:20:56lysander armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
00:21:00that's one more thing i'm saving you from
00:21:10sir
00:21:10the swat team is here captain morales my son is trapped behind there with a devious man-eating witch i
00:21:21need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door rest assured general armstrong we'll break down that
00:21:26door and bury that bitch alive
00:21:42who the fuck are you and why the hell are we niggity
00:21:47good you're awake i'm saving you
00:21:51saving me by baiting with me
00:21:54who are you you're a fucking spy
00:21:57top i swear to god i'll have you arrested for this
00:22:01you're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stippor
00:22:06i will never
00:22:07i will really
00:22:22look who's guilty now
00:22:25look i don't know what the fuck this is
00:22:27all right but it is a biological fact
00:22:29a man is attracted
00:22:31to
00:22:33a naked woman
00:22:34and her breasts
00:22:35it's science okay it just means that my body
00:22:37oh shut up
00:22:38excuse me
00:22:41you're distracted me with your friend
00:22:43and i'm a professional
00:22:45i hear lysander's voice
00:22:47captain do something now
00:22:48ready
00:22:55we're almost there
00:22:57aim
00:22:59get him boys
00:23:00get him
00:23:03fire
00:23:04fire
00:23:06fire
00:23:22those davis seals
00:23:23how is this possible
00:23:25it's not even a scratch
00:23:27i told you this is dark magic
00:23:29of course your earthly bullets won't do a thing
00:23:32no i believe miss trixie is a good person
00:23:35she's not the dark witch
00:23:36young master armstrong you are too easily fooled
00:23:40this homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living
00:23:44how is she going to save someone else's life
00:23:46that's right
00:23:47the queen angel and i are already the top female doctors in the world
00:23:51if we can't save him
00:23:53no one can
00:23:54except for the goddess healer
00:23:56think about it
00:23:57we heard lysander's voice
00:23:59he's been in a coma for two years miss trixie must have woken him up
00:24:01you're right this homeless girl is maybe the goddess
00:24:08maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess
00:24:11no no absolutely not there is no way this hobo girl is better than us
00:24:17but how could you know for sure
00:24:18right now what we need to do is not interrupt miss trixie
00:24:22you're wrong sir
00:24:23this homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on master lysander
00:24:28it's called borderline revival
00:24:30she uses torturous pain to wake the patient
00:24:33but only temporarily
00:24:35it's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears
00:24:39that means my son is in tremendous pain
00:24:42i'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can
00:24:45to kill that antler rod bearing witch
00:24:48my son doesn't deserve this
00:24:50he is dying right now
00:24:52naked in a jacuzzi
00:24:53with a smelly vagrant
00:24:55then it looks like it's up to me
00:24:56the witch doctor
00:24:58only i know the right techniques to take her down
00:25:03my son's life is in your hands
00:25:05you heal him
00:25:06i will give you whatever your heart desires
00:25:09i don't know who you are
00:25:11but there is no way i am letting you rip my golden bachelor away from me
00:25:17this is it
00:25:18the finishing touch
00:25:21i must now give you the kiss of life
00:25:24so we can both survive
00:25:43it's poison gas
00:25:45that poison gas will smoke them out
00:25:48and end her torture over master lysander
00:25:51poison gas
00:25:52my son is in there
00:25:54you're jeopardizing his life as well
00:25:56no don't worry general
00:25:57gold diggers like her only care about themselves
00:26:01soon
00:26:01she'll come out crying to mommy
00:26:03then we can reverse the poison on your son
00:26:06and then he can marry one of us
00:26:09they really won't stop until they get both of us killed
00:26:14i knew they promised you that i'd save you
00:26:17it's now or never
00:26:30what the hell are they doing in there
00:26:33it's been over 10 minutes
00:26:34wait a second
00:26:36you don't think that they're
00:26:38you
00:26:38you suffocated my brother and miss trixie in there
00:26:41don't point your fingers at me
00:26:43if your brother's dead
00:26:44it's because of that homeless gold digger
00:26:46oh my god
00:26:47yeah she's the one who sealed the door shut
00:26:50i mean she probably locked themselves in there on accident
00:26:53miss trixie wouldn't have to do that
00:26:55if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother
00:26:58this is taking way too long
00:27:01captain morales
00:27:01it's time to get out
00:27:03the big guns
00:27:04these bazookas
00:27:06can flatten even a bomb shelter
00:27:08bazooka
00:27:09she won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself
00:27:12crap oh my god
00:27:13get back son
00:27:15ready
00:27:16aim
00:27:17oh shit
00:27:22quit your whining and stand down
00:27:36the parasite's been extracted
00:27:39shoot her dead now
00:27:40do i need to fix your hearing too
00:27:42i said stand down
00:27:45don't listen to her
00:27:46she's a fraud
00:27:47a termite to the field of medicine
00:27:50i just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care
00:27:53if i'm a termite then
00:27:56you're worse than a disease spreading tick
00:27:58wait a second
00:27:59are you saying you cured my son
00:28:01he'll wake in just a moment
00:28:03you can see for yourself
00:28:05well now you're just asking to be exposed
00:28:07that is it
00:28:08no more stalling general
00:28:10if you won't punish her
00:28:12i will
00:28:16don't hurt her
00:28:22he's a cure
00:28:28his pulse is regular
00:28:30in fact it's never been better
00:28:35there's no sign of illness infection or disease
00:28:46miss trixie did it dad
00:28:48lysander's warm again
00:28:49he's not cold and pale like before
00:28:51and his heart is strong
00:28:53come feel it
00:28:56i saved my son
00:28:57thank you
00:28:58next time don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will
00:29:02your son would have otherwise died
00:29:04by their greedy and unskilled hands
00:29:06i've learned my lesson
00:29:08i will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again
00:29:13wait wait no no
00:29:14there is only one person in the world
00:29:17who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen angel and i
00:29:23the goddess healer
00:29:28could you really be the goddess of healing
00:29:30but rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old
00:29:35and you don't look a day after 20
00:29:38it doesn't matter who i am
00:29:40what matters is that the patient is healthy again
00:29:43devon
00:29:43i've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother
00:29:47take care
00:29:48no wait
00:29:50miss trixie we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet
00:29:52he's right
00:29:54we are men of our words
00:29:55and as i promised you my heir lysander
00:29:57would take you as a wife if you cured him
00:29:59and you did just that
00:30:01of course
00:30:01you're welcome to marry me instead
00:30:03i really appreciate it but
00:30:07i'm sorry
00:30:08i
00:30:10i'm already engaged
00:30:14already engaged?
00:30:15i am
00:30:16i've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years
00:30:20and he's coming back today
00:30:21but don't be disappointed
00:30:24really i'm no one special
00:30:26i just got lucky with your brother
00:30:28some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments
00:30:31but you're still lysander's savior
00:30:33please let me give you what i promised
00:30:36take the gold
00:30:37no really
00:30:39i don't need anything
00:30:41i just believe in doing good in the world
00:30:46tricksy
00:30:47it's your fiance
00:30:48he's back
00:30:49and he says he's breaking up with you
00:30:54i must go
00:31:01hobo close
00:31:02halo glow
00:31:03i bet the goddess healer is just like miss tricksy
00:31:07it was just dumb luck
00:31:09she's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal
00:31:12she could have been the richest woman in the world
00:31:14marrying the hottest
00:31:15most powerful bachelor
00:31:17around
00:31:21i'm gonna marry that homeless woman
00:31:27oh my god
00:31:28i mean i don't know about that homeless bimbo
00:31:31but this is godly
00:31:34no
00:31:34no no no no nysander
00:31:37nysander's job is supposed to be mine
00:31:40i'd so much rather share him with you than let that pantyless ugly bitch have him
00:31:45you two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession
00:31:48take these two weirdos out of here
00:31:50and revoke their licenses
00:31:52wait no
00:31:52we're not brides
00:31:54no she's just better than us
00:31:57oh my god
00:32:01we were truly blessed to have miss tricksy here huh
00:32:04she's no average jane
00:32:05no she isn't
00:32:06she said it was just dumb luck
00:32:08but if she truly had these special skills
00:32:11why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable looking dog
00:32:14but think about the impenetrable walls
00:32:16no normal person could have done that
00:32:18goddess or not
00:32:20homeless or not i don't care
00:32:22i have never met a woman like that
00:32:23i have to find her
00:32:24i have to make her my life
00:32:26she won my heart over too
00:32:27but if my bestest big bro wants her
00:32:30i'll help you find her
00:32:31all right listen
00:32:33i need help finding three wedding gifts
00:32:40i'm dumping tricksy
00:32:41so i want you
00:32:42your granddaughters
00:32:44filthy things
00:32:45out of my house
00:32:47now
00:32:48tricksy paid for this house
00:32:49she waited for you
00:32:51for three years
00:32:53he was dumb enough to put my name on the lease
00:32:55and i'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now
00:32:57one with some serious
00:32:58fuck you money
00:33:00so get lost
00:33:01who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house
00:33:11grandma
00:33:13beatrice
00:33:13tricksy
00:33:15amore
00:33:16i've been dying to throw this in your face
00:33:18i'm dumping you
00:33:19for your best friend
00:33:20marissa
00:33:22in fact
00:33:23the wedding's tomorrow
00:33:25so sign over the house
00:33:26now
00:33:32you gave me this ring
00:33:33and asked me to wait
00:33:35and i did
00:33:36for three years
00:33:38while you were deployed
00:33:39yet you cheat on me
00:33:40with my best friend
00:33:41and now you're trying
00:33:43to swindle my home
00:33:45do you have no shame
00:33:46we were together for three years
00:33:48and uh
00:33:48it was a complete waste of my life
00:33:50when i could have been with a loaded girl like marissa
00:33:58that's how much you would owe me
00:33:59if i was in the rent the boyfriend business
00:34:03i see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute
00:34:12oh yeah
00:34:13well marissa
00:34:16is so much better than you
00:34:17now she grew up
00:34:18even poorer
00:34:20than you
00:34:21and now
00:34:21she's the ceo
00:34:23of an entire
00:34:24corporation
00:34:25and you
00:34:30you're still nothing
00:34:32so you think she's an upgrade
00:34:34of course she's an upgrade
00:34:36look what she uh
00:34:37got me for my
00:34:39engagement
00:34:40oops
00:34:41yeah
00:34:42that's maybe worth
00:34:43one millionth
00:34:44the presidential contract
00:34:45i gave her
00:34:52you gave her the presidential contract
00:34:54i certainly did
00:34:55in fact
00:34:56marissa
00:34:57you and your dimwit brother
00:34:59only have everything you have
00:35:02all thanks to me
00:35:07oh i think she's losing it bro
00:35:09that breakup must have hit her
00:35:11hard
00:35:12you two are the ungrateful cheating scum here
00:35:16my granddaughter
00:35:17supported you
00:35:19and your entire family
00:35:20for three years
00:35:21while you were gone
00:35:22how dare you insult her
00:35:25it's okay grandma
00:35:27let's not stoop to that level
00:35:29poor edna
00:35:30she still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets huh
00:35:33what is he talking about
00:35:35show her bob
00:35:41this is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is
00:35:45she didn't purchase this house on her own
00:35:47she was begging on the street for money
00:35:51i can't be caught with a piss poor nobody like you
00:35:54even if you got no game
00:35:55i got street credit i got out of keep
00:35:57you dig
00:35:58the word you're looking for is dignity
00:36:00and you're one to speak
00:36:02cheater
00:36:04is this true tricksy
00:36:09i've been broadening my horizons grandma
00:36:11i want to see how regular everyday people live
00:36:15so that i can help them
00:36:16of course those without substance underneath
00:36:20would never understand that
00:36:21what is that supposed to mean
00:36:23it means
00:36:24the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade
00:36:25is actually a downgrade
00:36:32enough bullshitting already
00:36:33just sign the damn papers
00:36:34and we can each get on with our lives
00:36:48at your wedding i will
00:36:50what
00:36:52if you won't do good by me of breaking things off
00:36:54before two-timing me with my best friend
00:36:57why should i do good by you
00:36:59i'll give you my john hancock at your wedding
00:37:01as
00:37:02a charity
00:37:03to you
00:37:04fucking bitch
00:37:06you better keep your word
00:37:07oh that's rich
00:37:09after tomorrow you will never feel so rich ever again
00:37:12do you remember that
00:37:20tricksy
00:37:21marissa's a millionaire now
00:37:23they'll destroy you if you show
00:37:25even so much as a hair at their wedding
00:37:28grandma
00:37:29i have to confess something to you
00:37:31i've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions
00:37:34trillions
00:37:37that would make you
00:37:39the richest person
00:37:40on the planet
00:37:41it's because of the healing hands i inherited from aseplius
00:37:45the god of healing
00:37:47i've saved several world leaders with these hands
00:37:50that's how i was able to give marissa the presidential contract
00:37:53and become the goddess healer
00:37:55it makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you
00:37:59but please
00:38:01tricksy dear
00:38:02i know it was to broken your heart
00:38:04but
00:38:06embellishing your worth and who you are
00:38:08it will only delay the healing process
00:38:11you don't have to believe me just yet
00:38:14after we lost mom and dad
00:38:15because we didn't have the money for their medical bills
00:38:19i vowed that i would do everything i can to serve those in need
00:38:23that's why i'm taking everything back from butch
00:38:25and i'm giving it back to charity
00:38:27you've always had an angel's heart
00:38:29i'm certain you will meet someone
00:38:31who will treat you right
00:38:33who actually deserves you
00:38:35you will see tomorrow grandma
00:38:39oh yeah
00:38:45you said chixie's crashing your wedding
00:38:47she was bullying us too sasa
00:38:50she's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck
00:38:54when hope when nobody steps on snake
00:38:56snake bites back hard
00:38:58so let her come and embarrass herself
00:39:00yeah
00:39:02you mean
00:39:04we broadcast
00:39:06that video of me
00:39:10yes
00:39:10her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can
00:39:14she'll prop me up higher on my pedestal
00:39:16and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:18against my presidential glow up
00:39:20let's turn this party into her funeral
00:39:29there he is
00:39:32welcome home brother
00:39:34welcome home general
00:39:38sir
00:39:38the homeless woman who saved you miss trixie
00:39:41this is the file of her ex butch tanner
00:39:43he served with her regiment in the marines
00:39:45you mean the butch tanner that could barely carry supplies
00:39:48well she's been providing for him and his entire family
00:39:50while he's been deployed overseas sir
00:39:52so she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her
00:39:55fucking coward
00:39:56according to intel she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding
00:39:59and we should join her
00:40:01men
00:40:02i'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman
00:40:05and her incredible power
00:40:06that saved my life
00:40:07so she needs our support
00:40:08will you join me in protecting her
00:40:10yes sir
00:40:11we will allow our lives to protect her
00:40:13sir
00:40:14and let's roll
00:40:30welcome everyone to my wedding
00:40:32today is a very special day for me and butch
00:40:35not only are we getting married
00:40:36but in just one hour my company will be receiving the presidential contract
00:40:40allowing my biomedical company to go public
00:40:46congratulations on the contract once again mrs.
00:40:49wake him
00:40:50stowe butch is taking my last name
00:40:52oh and please don't be so uptight secretary cho
00:40:55you are the secretary of the entire u.s health department
00:40:58but this is a partay after all
00:41:01i see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you
00:41:07the u.s president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself
00:41:13it's an honor
00:41:14and that's why sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of
00:41:19we will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight
00:41:22we'll let the wedding begin
00:41:26not so fast
00:41:27the party doesn't start until i say it does
00:41:51you two really are a match made in hell
00:41:54so i've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck
00:41:57i don't recognize it from any of our elite circles who is she
00:42:01um this is our uh entertainment for tonight sir just watch
00:42:08trixie what are you doing here this isn't the homeless shelter you lost
00:42:12i bet she's here to bum a meal off us
00:42:14you know being this poor
00:42:17me bum a meal
00:42:19have you forgotten that it was i who bankrolled you two for the last three years
00:42:23what evidence do you have of that look at me then go look at yourself in the mirror
00:42:28i'm a millionaire ceo even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me
00:42:34and you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat
00:42:37sasa she's like so obsessed with me
00:42:41see everyone but already cut ties with his ex but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up
00:42:49to my wedding to suck up to me
00:42:51this is what poor sad girls do
00:42:53they beg for scraps from us the rich and glorious
00:42:58projecting much marissa
00:43:00you might feel all high and mighty now
00:43:02but don't bite the hand that feeds you
00:43:04especially when i'm the one who's giving you the contract
00:43:12you giving me the contract
00:43:14you have no skills
00:43:16no education
00:43:17no connection
00:43:18so how could you possibly have a pool
00:43:20to get the u.s. fucking president
00:43:22to give me a billion dollar contract
00:43:25we both share humble beginnings marissa
00:43:27and i saw potential in you
00:43:29even trusted you as my best friend
00:43:31but i recognize now that greed has poisoned you
00:43:35don't be all sore now just because i stole your man
00:43:37this is what us rich girls do
00:43:40they steal from lame spinsters for fun
00:43:43damn right
00:43:45you were too embarrassing for me
00:43:48sasa tramples you any day
00:43:49i can say that now that i'm marrying the rich
00:43:53bravo
00:43:53self-admission of a gold digger
00:43:55quick
00:43:56somebody put that on a memoir
00:43:57sasa she's embarrassing me in front of everyone
00:43:59she'll make her sup
00:44:01don't listen to her everyone
00:44:02she's the gold digging blood sucking leech
00:44:05i don't even have to lift a finger
00:44:07and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me butch
00:44:11you may look and sound like a man
00:44:13but you're nothing but a pathetic coward
00:44:16okay enough
00:44:16you know what i always couldn't stand about you
00:44:19your moral posturing
00:44:21but guess what
00:44:22morals are just lies to make you and girls feel better about yourselves
00:44:26that's why no man will choose you over marissa trixie
00:44:30because i've got the material goods
00:44:31and you're just all empty talk
00:44:33i'm not here to request to be chosen
00:44:36because i'm the one who's doing the choosing
00:44:40see this
00:44:52oh my god
00:44:54is that the billion dollar contract for sasa
00:44:58the one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck
00:45:00no absolutely not
00:45:02i i don't believe it
00:45:04you all sound so scared already
00:45:06don't worry
00:45:07this isn't that contract
00:45:10it's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me
00:45:15see everyone
00:45:17she's just trying to bluff us
00:45:18but you don't even have the guts to go all the way
00:45:20look at her following orders
00:45:21i asked her to sign over the lease and here she is
00:45:24like a good little uh
00:45:26peasant slave
00:45:27that house is worth all her life savings
00:45:33you want to uh
00:45:34i don't know beg for a little treat while you're at it
00:45:47you must understand me
00:45:48i'm here to take back everything i've ever given you
00:45:51i'm giving it to charity
00:45:59bro
00:46:01she's gone cuckoo in the head
00:46:02she thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress
00:46:05she can pretend to be a deep pocket investment baddie
00:46:07you wish you had that kind of money to just toss away tricksy
00:46:10it's just a drop in the bucket for me
00:46:12uh i i know what this is
00:46:15you've gotten delusional
00:46:16and you think you're cinderella
00:46:18so you can just show up to a fancy party
00:46:19and some prince charming will scoop you into money forever
00:46:22well that's not happening
00:46:24security
00:46:25lock the doors
00:46:26this woman doesn't leave until we're through with her
00:46:31this is where your dreams will die bitch
00:46:37we found miss trixie lysander
00:46:38she's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the wickham wedding right now
00:46:42butch tanner
00:46:42well he's gonna wish he died in battle after i'm done with him
00:46:46let's go
00:46:50you think a few toy guns scare me marissa
00:46:53i've saved plenty of people for much worse
00:46:56including your head of command butch
00:46:59general lysander armstrong
00:47:01you mean the legendary war hero
00:47:04he's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack
00:47:07you're an unskilled
00:47:09unemployed
00:47:10ugly leech
00:47:11so how could you possibly have this magical ability
00:47:14to heal someone like general lysander armstrong
00:47:17no one here is gonna believe you
00:47:19if you really cured the incurable general
00:47:21then sasa is the fucking virgin mary
00:47:24and she's not
00:47:25you're just asking to be humiliated tricksy
00:47:28show them butch
00:47:35see for yourselves everyone
00:47:37trixie's just a
00:47:38freeloading beggar
00:47:42she won't leave me and marissa alone
00:47:44because we're rich as fuck now
00:47:46i'm a major in the marines
00:47:48sasa
00:47:49she has
00:47:50a billion dollar biomedical contract
00:47:53with the military
00:47:54approved by the first female president
00:47:57of the united states herself bitch
00:47:59how despicable
00:48:00she's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger
00:48:04get out of here
00:48:05no one wants to marry you
00:48:06no free meals for the poor
00:48:08do you see this tricksy
00:48:11this is high society
00:48:13so you're either born on a silver spoon
00:48:15or you're as accomplished as me to be here
00:48:17maybe if you do some serious dick sucking here
00:48:21maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can
00:48:26i already have everything one can dream of
00:48:28but i valued our friendship marissa
00:48:30which is why i came here to give you a second chance
00:48:33to see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing
00:48:36but no
00:48:37you stooped so low
00:48:39it disgusts me
00:48:41nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners
00:48:44like a bum
00:48:45and who knows
00:48:46if you've already started offering sexual services
00:48:51well then
00:48:52why don't you get on your knees for me tricksy
00:48:54my brother will never take you back
00:48:57no man will marry an embarrassment like you
00:49:00but make me happy
00:49:02and i might consider making you my personal prostitute
00:49:16how dare you hit my brother
00:49:18i'm never letting you leave here alive
00:49:21boss i might do something
00:49:22don't worry my dear
00:49:24after i'm done with you tricksy
00:49:26not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you
00:49:30oh
00:49:31is that so
00:49:33security
00:49:35get down on your knees
00:49:36and give bob one hell of a blowjob
00:49:39in front of everybody here
00:49:40or i'll pop so many holes in you
00:49:43the men here won't know which one to fuck
00:49:45i don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you
00:49:47any of the powerful leaders i've saved before could crush you
00:49:51before you even touch me
00:49:53dream on
00:49:54you wish general lysander scooped you off your feet
00:49:57but you weren't good enough for me
00:49:59you're definitely not good enough for him
00:50:01enough
00:50:02you're souring my party
00:50:04so you either get the fuck out
00:50:06or i'm gonna shoot you
00:50:09on the count of three
00:50:10i think i quite like it here
00:50:12two
00:50:24this wine is so delicious
00:50:26one
00:50:27shoot
00:50:30nobody is laying a hand
00:50:33on my future wife
00:50:40it's
00:50:42it's
00:50:51who the hell is this
00:50:56i'm sorry that i'm late
00:50:57did they hurt you
00:50:59no i'm fine
00:51:01but um
00:51:02when did i become your future wife
00:51:05you saved me
00:51:07trixie remember
00:51:08i'm a man of my word
00:51:10they're never gonna hurt you ever again
00:51:12really it was nothing
00:51:14i saved you because you're a good man
00:51:17not because i want you to owe me any favors
00:51:25i see what this is
00:51:26you're the one who cheated on me trixie
00:51:29look at you guys a lovey dove
00:51:30don't try to pin this on her
00:51:32she waited for you for three years
00:51:33this is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for
00:51:38virtue
00:51:40don't make me laugh
00:51:41she's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash
00:51:44no man who in a hundred foot pole would want to touch her
00:51:48she should be happy bob was willing to give her some
00:51:55i see her in the marines
00:51:58i'm a major
00:51:59you know look man
00:52:00i know trixie is like a i don't know
00:52:03like a seven
00:52:04now that she's all cleaned up
00:52:05but don't waste your manhood on a whiny
00:52:08worthless woman like that
00:52:15a real man
00:52:17never talks about a woman that way
00:52:19you're a coward
00:52:29we don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them
00:52:34you're very gracious trixie you know that
00:52:38you're only getting off with it because she's so kind
00:52:40so you're gonna do me the favor of never coming near her again
00:52:43you understand
00:52:43you want to fuck with me you little dipshit
00:52:46i'm a fucking major
00:52:47you're probably lowest rank of the military grunts
00:52:50i'll i'll destroy you
00:52:52do you really not know who this is butch
00:52:54i thought you were in the marines
00:52:56what have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is
00:53:01he was just a supply boy
00:53:05war hero
00:53:07is this all part of your plan trixie
00:53:09poor girl
00:53:10did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself
00:53:14a woman's worth is tied to the man she marries
00:53:17trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy
00:53:23a bum girl and a pimp
00:53:25what a pair
00:53:28seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long
00:53:31i think we should try to place them off some more don't you think
00:53:36bring in the wedding gifts
00:53:44what is all this
00:53:46trixie listen i know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life
00:53:50but i know that we shared a moment
00:53:55i'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear
00:53:59it's not in my nature
00:54:01i'm like somebody else here
00:54:04listen trixie
00:54:05i have never
00:54:07met a woman
00:54:10like you
00:54:11so incredible and kind and beautiful
00:54:14so i know
00:54:15that you're the one for me
00:54:19this guy's either nuts or a really
00:54:21really good actor
00:54:23Oscar worthy
00:54:24Oscar worthy
00:54:25no
00:54:26first gift
00:54:33trixie i know that you just lost your home
00:54:35so i'm gifting you with your own new mansion
00:54:39worth 500 million dollars
00:54:41previously owned by
00:54:42jennifer aniston
00:54:44second gift
00:54:48this contains all the rights to
00:54:50my entire fortune
00:54:52which is now yours
00:54:53entire fortune from a cowboy actor
00:54:56you must be pennies
00:54:58they already spent their entire life savings on this clown show
00:55:00they've got nothing left
00:55:01why sander
00:55:03i really don't care for any of us
00:55:05look i i know
00:55:06i know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman
00:55:09okay which is exactly why
00:55:11well my third gift
00:55:13is um
00:55:15well
00:55:30clio
00:55:31hey
00:55:32oh my god
00:55:35you found my dog
00:55:41trixie i'm just a man
00:55:42but with you it's so much more
00:55:45trixie amore
00:55:49will you marry me
00:55:53you know i can't say no to this doggo
00:55:58yes i will marry you
00:56:16go go power couple
00:56:19whoo
00:56:20okay stop
00:56:21the only power couple here is butch and i
00:56:25let's remind everyone how worth this trixie is
00:56:29no man in their right mind
00:56:32would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:56:35hey
00:56:36i don't care if she's homeless or not
00:56:37but i'm making this woman my wife
00:56:39which means that she will be treated as
00:56:42and cherished as
00:56:43the most precious woman on earth
00:56:45understand
00:56:50you still don't realize
00:56:51that my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:56:54this is general
00:56:55lysander armstrong
00:57:04as if
00:57:05like the almighty general lysander armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like trixie
00:57:11yes the armstrong family basically control the global stock market
00:57:14lysander armstrong would sooner marry the princess of england than someone from the lowest rank of society
00:57:20i bet my life you're all just
00:57:22actors
00:57:23then you better enjoy your last breath
00:57:25come on lysander what are we waiting for
00:57:27let's show them what we can do and get revenge for trixie
00:57:29what can a bunch of piss poor people do to us
00:57:31the elites
00:57:32infect us with your poor people bad luck
00:57:35she wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:57:38truth is she's just a useless lazy bitchin bum
00:57:42she's utterly unmarriable
00:57:47i can dispose of them
00:57:48in other means if you don't prefer violence
00:57:51i'd handle them myself but
00:57:55i'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:57:57go ahead lysander
00:58:05yes hello this is lysander please
00:58:07bankrupt marissa wickham for me
00:58:11oh my gosh i'm so scared
00:58:13anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:58:22uh hello
00:58:24yes
00:58:25what
00:58:32i'm a fake rat
00:58:42hey hey hey hey are you sure that was the call saucer that that was a real call
00:58:47people don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:58:49my company's dead
00:58:50my company's dead evaporated book it's a thin air
00:58:56that's impossible
00:58:58who are you
00:58:59what did you do
00:59:00secretary cho
00:59:02you said you're the secretary of health right and you yourself said that the armstrong family
00:59:06owns the entire global stock market
00:59:08could that be how they bankrupted miss wickham
00:59:12then that means
00:59:13yes you're really lysander armstrong the richest and most powerful man in the country
00:59:21trixie's marrying the famed war hero the man every girl wants and every man wants to be
00:59:29now you believe me those who do bad will always end up losing everything
00:59:33there's there's got to be some some trick to this you guys are just bums trying to extort money from
00:59:38us
00:59:47i know why you're all over trixie because you've been in the military for so long you don't know what
00:59:52a real woman can do for you
00:59:54let me take you to my wedding chamber and i'll show you a good time
01:00:00do you have your hands for me or i'll have them removed for you
01:00:08i would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are
01:00:14guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:18sasa was just trying to save the company
01:00:21i don't blame her at all
01:00:22your double standards are incredible
01:00:24okay you don't want me
01:00:26fine but there's plenty of other efficiency
01:00:29i can give you a room full of pageant winners 18 years old fresh for the taking
01:00:41i did that so you wouldn't have to miss trixie
01:00:44thank you devon
01:00:47marissa not only have you backstabbed me your best friend by stealing my fiance
01:00:53but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back
01:00:57you're an insult to all good women out there
01:00:59no to all of humanity
01:01:01so now everything that i've ever given you to
01:01:04i'm taking it all back
01:01:08wait everyone stop
01:01:12they're impostors
01:01:17i just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:21because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
01:01:24so we won't go bankrupt
01:01:26the goddess healer you mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine
01:01:31approved of my biomedical products
01:01:34yes that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
01:01:38the goddess healer's motto is
01:01:40the right rewrites the wrong
01:01:42the left leave the wrong bereft
01:01:45that means she's rewarding me
01:01:47the president would never let your company go bankrupt
01:01:50in fact she's on her way now
01:01:55so you're telling me
01:01:56this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here
01:01:59isn't lysander armstrong
01:02:01who the fuck cares who he is
01:02:02if the president and the goddess healer
01:02:04approves of my products
01:02:06who cares about this washed up war hero
01:02:08we can break his legs break his arms
01:02:10no one would even bat an eye
01:02:11she even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services
01:02:16FBI FBI
01:02:18you're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft
01:02:23gotcha
01:02:28guess I still get the last laugh Trixie
01:02:30no don't arrest her
01:02:33Trixie is a good person
01:02:35please officer don't arrest her
01:02:37grandma
01:02:37Mr. Rogers
01:02:39Mrs. Williams
01:02:39what are you all doing here
01:02:41the neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch
01:02:43we were worried
01:02:45so we came here to back you up
01:02:47listen officer
01:02:48I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor
01:02:51she's very kind hearted
01:02:53and would never break the law
01:02:55yes and one time when my daughter needed university tuition
01:02:58Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out
01:03:02she also paid for my recent heart surgery as well
01:03:05my fiance really is an incredible woman
01:03:08she's an angel descended from heaven
01:03:15you must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong
01:03:19my brother is not a criminal
01:03:21he's a war hero
01:03:22who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
01:03:25without him this whole country would have been bombed to ash
01:03:28and that's why it's twice the crime is stealing his identity
01:03:32General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma
01:03:34because of the fight with the terrorist
01:03:36and we've received no word that he's woken up yet
01:03:38so this must be an imposter
01:03:41I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity
01:03:43is causing you a lot of trouble
01:03:45I promise that I'll get it resolved
01:03:46and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex
01:03:51if you want to arrest me, fine
01:03:54but don't fuck with my fiance
01:03:55you don't get to decide, punk
01:03:57let's go
01:04:21get him
01:04:21if you can
01:04:49let's go
01:04:50you
01:05:14Is that enough pain, or do you want more?
01:05:24Legend is written all over you, Icener.
01:05:31Grandma, meet my new fiancé.
01:05:35Wow, your new fiancé, he's so manly, much better than your last one.
01:05:41I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:44It's Butch's loss, Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:05:49She's like a shining star in the sky, and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:05:54Bitch, we name calling now?
01:05:56I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right fam?
01:05:59Drown out the poor!
01:06:00Drown out the poor!
01:06:02Drown out the poor!
01:06:03Drown out the poor!
01:06:05Drown out the poor!
01:06:06Drown out the poor!
01:06:07Drown out the poor!
01:06:08See Trixie?
01:06:08You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:11You can't compete against me even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:15We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:17So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:22Let them eat cake!
01:06:33You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:35Grab what you can, fam.
01:06:36Attack!
01:06:54You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:03What the fuck was that?
01:07:04I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:07:06I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:07:16Damnit!
01:07:17Damnit!
01:07:20You forgot I had a gun too?
01:07:23That'll teach you for messing with the wig hams.
01:07:24Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:27We're cornered.
01:07:28I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:30Devon, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:33I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:36They will be punished.
01:07:40Now hold still for me.
01:07:44Right.
01:07:45Ray rides the world.
01:07:56Holy fuck!
01:07:58Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:07:59By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:01Is she the goddess healer?
01:08:06I'm all better now.
01:08:08Thank you Miss Trixie.
01:08:10See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:13No. Please. I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:16Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:18Sure.
01:08:20You hear that?
01:08:21She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:08:24She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:26While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:31Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:08:36I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:38And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:41God?
01:08:42Wrong.
01:08:44But you're close.
01:08:46Bullshit!
01:08:47I'm going to show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:08:52You want to cross the line so bad? Then let's see you try.
01:08:55Charge!
01:09:04The hell is this?
01:09:06This is the line between life and death.
01:09:10Yeah, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:13I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:18You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:20What if it's a trap?
01:09:21That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:24We ain't afraid of her. She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:28Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:31I will.
01:09:35Left leaves the wrong arrest.
01:09:44I'm fine. Nothing happens.
01:09:46You'll see soon enough.
01:09:48Oh, please. I really want to die.
01:09:51And you call this the line between life and death?
01:09:53I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:09:55Whoops! Just crossed it again. Whoops! And again.
01:10:00Nothing's happening.
01:10:01I'll hit you.
01:10:02Stop!
01:10:03Stop!
01:10:05Stop!
01:10:08Stop!
01:10:11No!
01:10:12No!
01:10:14Hey!
01:10:15What did you do to my brother?
01:10:17I didn't do anything.
01:10:18Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:21I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:23If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:27Come on.
01:10:28Major.
01:10:29Are you not going to help your own brother?
01:10:31How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:33See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:38Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:40Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:10:49You're so sore I wouldn't marry you, you'd go and hurt my brother.
01:10:52Oh, please.
01:10:54You hurt us first.
01:10:56At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:10:59But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:03Marissa, thanks for taking this little life from me.
01:11:08You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:10You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:16When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:22Don't touch my wife.
01:11:25And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:30You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:33But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:37That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:40Oh really?
01:11:41Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:45You've got nothing on me.
01:11:50Yes.
01:11:51Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:11:57Goddess!
01:11:59Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:01Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:06Get the VP. We're leaving now.
01:12:11Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:16God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy too.
01:12:19I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:22You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:23A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:27Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:28I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:31Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:34You hear that, everyone?
01:12:36There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:42She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:12:47No, my granddaughter would never do that.
01:12:51Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:12:56Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:12:58Oh, my God.
01:13:05First, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:10and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:14Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:19I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:22You can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:28Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:32It ain't working.
01:13:33You can't just fake the...
01:13:37Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary.
01:13:40It's like real magic.
01:13:42Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:13:47And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:13:55No.
01:13:56Trixie, look, I believe you.
01:13:59You saved me.
01:14:01Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:04No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:08We'll riot against you now.
01:14:10Tear her apart!
01:14:11Tear her apart!
01:14:13Tear her apart!
01:14:15Tear her apart!
01:14:16Tear her apart!
01:14:17Tear her apart!
01:14:17Tear her apart!
01:14:18The Vice President arrives!
01:14:19Tear her apart!
01:14:41You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:43Wait, what?
01:14:45He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:14:47No, no, we've been through this already once, okay?
01:14:51Right, Secretary Cho?
01:14:52This actor Trixie Hire pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:14:58But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:02Yes, we all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:04What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:10And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:13The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell,
01:15:17and now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:21He is the general, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:26Did you hear that?
01:15:27Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:32So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:35We got the VP and the president.
01:15:37On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:41I told you.
01:15:43Now punish them, Vice President Langley.
01:15:45This is treason!
01:15:46Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:15:54Hurry!
01:15:55The goddess healer needs us.
01:15:58You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:01My brother is a war hero.
01:16:03He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:05He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:07If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would-
01:16:09Enough!
01:16:09You speak another word, and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:13Not just your brother.
01:16:16Yeah.
01:16:17It's okay.
01:16:18Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:21I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancée's life.
01:16:26And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:29I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:34I truly saved a good man.
01:16:42I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancée.
01:16:45And what can you do about it?
01:16:47Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:16:50My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:16:54Let's try it out on them.
01:16:57Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:59There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:01Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:03Despicable!
01:17:04What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:09Ms. Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:13Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:28Shoot!
01:17:29Wait, that's the president.
01:17:42No!
01:17:43Hey, idiots!
01:17:51Oh my gosh!
01:17:52I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:17:55That was, they were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:17:59What is this?
01:18:01Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, madame, for your military.
01:18:05This is a war crime. These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:09You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:10I can shoot whoever I want. I have the presidential contract.
01:18:13With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:16And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:20What are you doing? Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:18:24That is easy.
01:18:26There's no need. I'll save everyone.
01:18:42It's raining gold!
01:18:46What's happening? Trixie doesn't have that kind of money. It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:18:53She, she, she is...
01:18:55She is a criminal.
01:18:57Don't worry, madame president. We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:00I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:02Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:05What are you talking about?
01:19:07The president literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract.
01:19:19This contract?
01:19:22Yeah! Yes!
01:19:23Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:42My contract, you bitch!
01:19:44And that's not all.
01:19:57This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:00There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:03Don't you realize?
01:20:04Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:08You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:10Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:13And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:16So prepare yourself.
01:20:17Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:20What are you going to do?
01:20:22The president is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:29You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:32Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:35So what's your final decision?
01:20:39I'll...
01:20:39She's going to give me my billion dollar...
01:20:46I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:20:53Why?
01:20:54Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:20:56You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar contract.
01:20:59You wish, idiot!
01:21:03I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:08I don't understand.
01:21:10I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:15And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:21You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:25The one and only.
01:21:28And it's...
01:21:31Her.
01:21:43What?!
01:21:48Welcome, goddess.
01:21:56Uh, we, uh...
01:22:00You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:03How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:05Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:10I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:13To help those in need.
01:22:15And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:18No, so that means the billion-dollar contract,
01:22:22it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:24She took it away just like that.
01:22:27That was our golden ticket.
01:22:29You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:22:31But after everything you've done,
01:22:34we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:36No, please, I swear.
01:22:37I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:42It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:44Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:22:45She's an amazing person.
01:22:47And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:22:50She's going to be my wife.
01:22:52Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman
01:22:55on this planet.
01:23:01I love you.
01:23:14All her gold.
01:23:16All her clothes.
01:23:18All that could have been mine.
01:23:20This is all your fault.
01:23:21This is all...
01:23:22You seduced me!
01:23:25You were the one that came on to me, you himbo.
01:23:28Please, Trixie.
01:23:30Give me another chance.
01:23:32I want to be rich again.
01:23:34I'll be your slave.
01:23:36I'll kiss the ground you walk on.
01:23:38You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:40But it's too late now.
01:23:42All I see is your greed
01:23:43and how much you'd hurt others
01:23:45just to benefit yourself.
01:23:46You two should be locked up.
01:23:48And she shall.
01:23:50For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:23:52arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:23:56It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:23:57I never loved you.
01:23:59It's your fault!
01:24:00I was only with you for your money.
01:24:02You were rich.
01:24:04I'll see myself now.
01:24:06Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:09We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:12My platform is spreading kindness
01:24:14just like you.
01:24:15I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:18That is why I saved you.
01:24:20With these healing hands,
01:24:21I will work tirelessly
01:24:23to change the world
01:24:24one good deed at a time.
01:24:26Well,
01:24:27let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:31Let's party!
01:24:33Wait,
01:24:34what if we just got married?
01:24:35Right now?
01:24:36Yes.
01:24:37Well.
01:24:38Woo!
01:24:41Do you take each other
01:24:43to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:24:46I do.
01:24:47I do.
01:24:48You may kiss the bride.
01:24:49You may kiss the bride.
01:24:51You may kiss the bride.
01:24:54You may kiss the bride.
01:24:56You may kiss the bride.
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