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Taskmaster - S18E04 - Im a Girl Who Likes a Clean Line [Full Movie] [Full Version]Full EP - Full
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00:16I
00:16Mean you're useless
00:34The answer to the question where can I say an overweight but dashing man get a feckless weasel with a
00:41wonky tooth to torture his peer group for pointless tasks
00:44Channel 4 that's where silly let's meet them now
01:03I
01:03Next to me a man who says that he loves to holiday in Wales because it is so beautiful
01:09But longs for the day when its people are driven into the sea
01:22Hello, Greg
01:24I've got your present. Thank you. Do you like cars?
01:27Do I get do you yes? Good. Oh, do you like Greg Davis?
01:33Barely stop looking in the mirror
01:35Well, I think you'll like genuine personalized number plates
01:47First size I'm a plate for Greg Davis does it say Gary Davis
01:57Surprised us today this time they've brought in the thing most likely to make you say war Christ now that
02:05is butter
02:10Badass
02:11Yes, sure we've all probably said badass and sure we've all probably had badass, but Greg wants to see something
02:17That makes him say it like he means it and that will result in five really really big points you
02:23Emma City. Yes. How are you gonna make me say now that is badass?
02:27This is something that I own
02:31It's very precious to me, and I think it speaks for itself
02:35React to this Greg. Okay. I know what I've got to say if it doesn't elicit the response here we
02:41go
02:41I
02:43I
02:50Nothing
02:53Now that is badass
02:54I
02:56Hate it. I find it religiously insensitive. Yes
03:01I think God and Jesus would love that
03:13Think any of the big three would like that
03:15I think it's horrible. Yeah, you should be ashamed
03:22Yo, are you gonna make me say why this is badass 100%? Well, how's your footwear nowadays bro?
03:28You've got your sock game on on lock. I won't lie. Yeah, I got something that better than these shoes
03:34100% way better than your shoes
03:40He's gonna get you these shoes Greg. All right
03:43Nike Air Force One let me tell you something. Yeah, so now when you come to like the ends, right?
03:49You wear white air forces when I come to the ends the ends bro watch top boy, bruv, okay?
03:57There's a lot of work for me to do before I can say these are badass
04:02All you need to do is just rock up with a pair of white air forces, but this is the
04:05thing you can't just rock up with a pair
04:07Air forces, right? You've got a laugh, but the laugh has to be smooth. You've got to be like
04:15What situations am I gonna do this in brother?
04:18I'm just trying to inject some youth into you. You're the one that's turned like what did you say like
04:2175?
04:22It feels like
04:24Feels like it, but I don't know whether I'm gonna feel more useful if I go into any situation and
04:29go
04:31With a pair of white trainers. I'm not gonna lie, that laugh was good though
04:35Yeah, and it felt good
04:36Hello, Rosie
04:37Oh, yeah
04:38What have you brought in?
04:39So I brought in something and then I've also brought in a promise
04:48Mmm
04:49Ooh
04:50Ooh
04:51Let's dance
04:53Well, there's nothing more bad at that than a tattoo
04:59I got two, one, two
05:02And I got a third one
05:05Here
05:12Here
05:13Yeah
05:15Wow, that's quite badass
05:16So the promise is if you don't award me quite highly
05:27Yeah
05:28I'll do it again
05:30LAUGHTER
05:34Good, thank you, Rosie
05:37Jack
05:38Yeah
05:38Are you badass?
05:39I'm unpopular in the world of hip-hop and rap
05:42And so I borrowed something from a rapper, a friend of mine
05:46And he sent me one of his outfits
05:49And he's pretty famous as well, so I...
05:52I know
05:53You'd rather not
05:53No, I'll give you the name, he's called TK Maxx
05:59I know that guy
06:00Yeah, and he just said, whatever you need, I'm sending it to you
06:03Greg, is this badass?
06:06LAUGHTER
06:08Er, no
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10That would be the outfit I would wear
06:13If I was unloading an angel from the back of a van
06:16LAUGHTER
06:19Anyway, it's your choice
06:21I've made my choice
06:23It is not badass
06:24Yeah
06:25Only Andy Zaltzman can save us
06:27Those are dangerous words, Greg
06:29Well, I thought, you know, what would make you say badass
06:32Oh, I made you a work of art
06:34Let's reveal Andy's work of art
06:36Here we go
06:37LAUGHTER
06:40APPLAUSE
06:44Now, that is a badass
06:46Also, I mean, let's look at the quality of the painting
06:50LAUGHTER
06:51That's...
06:51That's bad, isn't it?
06:52Oh, it's just that bad
06:54It's a badass
06:55Yeah
06:55And it's badass
06:56Yes
06:57See, Emma, how this works?
06:59LAUGHTER
07:00Go back and see that cherub
07:02Cos after all this, you're going to be like, well, my God
07:04Stick the cherub back up for us
07:06OK, here is the badass cherub
07:07LAUGHTER
07:08Yeah
07:10LAUGHTER
07:12Shit
07:13LAUGHTER
07:15Which one would make you say badass least?
07:17It's between Jack's awful moving outfit
07:20And Emma's badass angel
07:22Shall I be really nice and give them both two?
07:24A pair of trainers as well in that mix?
07:25Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
07:27Let him make his decision
07:29Oh, no, he's right, though
07:31No, he's not right
07:32He is right
07:33What are you doing?
07:34He's not picked up on
07:35I'll give two points to all of those people
07:36And then we'll jump up
07:37I think we've got to reward Zaltzman
07:39He created the correct ass for the situation
07:42I'm going to give him five points
07:44And I'll give this murderer four
07:45Five points
07:46Two, two, two
07:47Very well
07:50Right, let's get going
07:52OK, let's take things to the next level
08:06Oh, Alex
08:11Hi, Alex
08:12Howdy
08:13It's gold this time
08:15It's nice, nice little touch
08:17Ooh
08:19Can I open this as task probably?
08:23Here we go
08:25That's what we want
08:28Not that gold shit
08:33Push
08:34Push
08:34Push the envelope the furthest
08:37You have half an hour
08:39Your time starts now
08:42Wow
08:42I could say some outrageous things
08:44See if that pushes the envelope
08:46Get myself cancelled
08:48Is it a phrase?
08:51What?
08:51Is it rude?
08:53Like
08:55Boxing the envelope
08:59What's this pillow for?
09:00What's this supposed to do?
09:02Present my nuts on it to my wife
09:06Have you ever pushed the envelope before?
09:07Yeah
09:08What did he do?
09:10Erm
09:10I dressed as Spongebob Squarepants
09:13To a fancy dress party
09:15And everyone's like
09:16We don't do that in Guildford
09:18And I was like, I do
09:21I do that when I come into the room
09:22Like, hey
09:24Happy Valentine's
09:27Right, I'm going to take the envelope
09:31Excuse me
09:34Oh, that's better
09:35OK
09:35Two and a half an hour or so
09:43He was surprisingly heavily sexual
09:46From three out of five of you
09:47You were asked to push the envelope
09:50And within seconds
09:51Jones had compared it to a vagina
09:53I presume
09:53Of course
09:57I haven't heard a phrase
10:00Push the envelope
10:03Ever
10:04It could be rude
10:06What you're saying is
10:08If you don't understand any phrase
10:10In the English language
10:11You assume it's sexual
10:13Yeah
10:14Right, fine
10:14Sort of like
10:15Some people have
10:16Walked past you
10:17And said
10:18Oh, a rolling stone
10:19Gathers no moss
10:19And you've gone
10:20Tell me about it
10:21Yeah
10:26I think we should
10:27We're going to begin by watching
10:28Emma and Rosie
10:30Push their envelopes
10:31Oh, God
10:32I'm going to push the envelope within myself
10:39You're going to push the envelope within yourself
10:41What does that mean?
10:42I'm going to eat the envelope
10:51I am going to push the envelope the farthest
10:56Here I go
10:58Here I go
11:06Maybe I can get my own cooking show
11:13Nigella meets Raymond's
11:20You're brave
11:26Little bit
11:27Little bit
11:28I can
11:28It
11:35Oh
11:36I must sit briefly
11:44Right, there you go
11:46To Greg
11:47Taskmaster
11:49Love hearts
11:50There's actually a letter inside
11:52But it's private
11:53There you go, mate
11:55Pushed it
11:57Change in
11:58Bottomed up
11:59And
12:09OK
12:13Way
12:14I must have driven you over the edge, didn't it?
12:16Smoothie
12:17Oh, well, I just hope you give her enough shit for being a smoothie girl as well
12:23She's revealed their true colors there. She loves the smoothies. Glugged it down, didn't you?
12:32Yeah, they made you turn it into a smoothie for your own safety. Yes, and we still need to say
12:37you shouldn't eat an envelope. You also shouldn't drink an envelope.
12:40You could chug it down. Is that pushing the envelope?
12:43I was pushing the envelope by pushing the envelope down my gullet.
12:53And, ultimately, out of your bop-bot. Yeah, yeah.
12:57You know what? Still a bit cold.
13:05Emma, I will say I thought you did great cartwheels. Thank you.
13:10And you could still be in the game because I haven't read your letter yet.
13:12Oh, my God. Letter?
13:15I don't know what I said. No-one knows what you said because you said it was private.
13:19Oh, no. I think I was having a weird week.
13:27Ah. Well.
13:29It. Is.
13:33Polite.
13:36It literally says, I hope you've had a good week.
13:41OK, who's next?
13:42OK, well, next up, it's A, B, C, D.
13:45Jack D!
13:55There's your envelope.
14:01How's your day going, Jack?
14:02Not as dignified as I thought it would.
14:09It didn't work. I wasn't happy with that.
14:10Yeah, thanks.
14:12I don't know.
14:12Eh?
14:27Yeah.
14:35I don't know.
14:38Yeah, well, we're done.
14:47Oh, my God.
15:19All I've written is, well, that will save BAFTA some money for your in-memorandum film.
15:28Yeah.
15:30And the sooner they play, they're better.
15:34Absolutely heartbreaking.
15:36It pushed the envelope. It made me genuinely feel quite emotional.
15:40Yeah.
15:40In total, on that day, he pushed the envelope three miles.
15:45I would have carried on when the crew caught up with me and said I had to stop.
15:49Well, the time had run out quite a long time.
15:50About the two-mile mark, the time had run out, yeah.
15:53Kept on going.
15:54Oh, nice.
15:56Right, break time.
15:58Let's end on a high with some of Alex's impressions.
16:01It's Alex's Impression Hour.
16:03Ready? Donald Trump.
16:05Hey, how are you, guys?
16:07I can't do impressions.
16:08Greg Wallace!
16:39You want to eat your dinner?
16:39There's the limits of what's possible.
16:40Or you could just pace about a bit with a letter in a wheelbarrow.
16:43Last up, it's Bubba and Andy.
16:46All right, how do I push this thing?
16:48I can make a bowl out of it.
16:50Look, it's a bowl.
16:52Someone get me milk and cereal.
16:54Are you talking to me?
16:56Are you talking to me?
16:56Yes.
17:01Right, you little paper monstrosity.
17:03Where is it?
17:04You pathetic little failed origami pigeon.
17:06I wouldn't lick you if you were the last envelope on earth.
17:09Where is it?
17:10Tell me where it is.
17:12How do you make cereal?
17:13Do you put the milk...
17:13You look like you put the milk in first.
17:15Always milk first.
17:16How very dare you?
17:17Who does that?
17:21Want to talk now, my slightly crumpled friend?
17:27Answer the question!
17:28Answer the question!
17:32I ain't got to eat this.
17:33I think you should eat a little bit.
17:35Nah, my guy.
17:35I don't drink cow's milk.
17:37If I drink this, you'll hear me in the toilet going,
17:40moo, you know what I'm saying?
17:41I'll really be moving up that toilet.
17:44Maybe this will make you talk.
17:47You want to be next?
17:49Tell me what you know.
17:50Well, God help me.
17:50I will shred you.
17:51I will shred you.
17:54Last chance.
17:55I know you want to tell me.
17:56Talk.
17:59I knew it.
18:00I did it.
18:01I stole the life cast of Alex Horne.
18:03I shrank it, and I hid it in a wooden box under a cow.
18:07I knew you'd break eventually.
18:09Here comes the airplane.
18:10Yeah!
18:14Nice, isn't it?
18:16Right.
18:21There it is.
18:23It's like he's been working out.
18:25Mystery solved.
18:26I'll push that envelope good and proper.
18:33Andy, very creative.
18:35Genuinely disturbing.
18:37Thanks.
18:38I just think this show is just revealing you to pieces.
18:41It's just not the person everyone thought you were.
18:44LAUGHTER
18:44It's just not revealing you're not the person I thought I was, to be honest.
18:47From episode to episode, you're getting more and more terrified.
18:52LAUGHTER
18:52It's very good, Andy.
18:53And quite the contrast, jumping from that, to Baba feeding cereal into your stupid face from an envelope.
19:02Can I just say something?
19:03And then, I pushed the envelope to its limits, I made, I made it into a bowl.
19:08LAUGHTER
19:08I mean, it doesn't matter how emphatically you taste it.
19:11LAUGHTER
19:13Do you scream nice, innit, into the face of your young children when you're feeding them?
19:17LAUGHTER
19:21LAUGHTER
19:22LAUGHTER
19:23LAUGHTER
19:24LAUGHTER
19:24I do as well.
19:26LAUGHTER
19:27APPLAUSE
19:29OK, but who pushed it the least far, who pushed it the furthest?
19:33I feel like I'm...
19:34Do you feel like I'm a bit picked on today?
19:36LAUGHTER
19:36I can't think how I'm going to not put you last when you did three cartwheels
19:40and then wrote me a letter asking how I was.
19:42LAUGHTER
19:44So it's one to Emma.
19:46Baba, two points.
19:47Two to you, Baba.
19:47Hmm.
19:48OK, I'm going to give Rosie three points.
19:50HE WANTS, BOMBAR WALKS!
19:55He walked three miles and his heart's not up to it.
19:59LAUGHTER
19:59Three to Rosie.
20:00I'm going to be led by emotion, and the one that moved me the most emotionally was Jack,
20:05pushing an envelope three miles.
20:07So four points to Andy, five points.
20:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:13Hey, hmm, let's have a scoreboard.
20:15All right, well, the team of two, Jack and Rosie, are in joint.
20:17Second with seven points, but in the lead, it's Andy Zaltzman with nine points.
20:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:25What's next, please, Horne?
20:27Well, we're off to a scare maze.
20:29I don't know.
20:56Hiya!
20:58Hiya Rosie.
21:01Man-like.
21:03Hello, Baba. Hey. You look nice.
21:06Yes, bro. Come on, man. Look at that outfit, bro. I'll make this look good. I'm not gonna lie to
21:09you, bro.
21:10I'm the hottest hot dog you've ever seen in your life.
21:13I agree with... Oh, you're still talking yet. Come on.
21:15So, whatever you do on this task will be worth twice the number of points for you. See you in
21:19a minute.
21:19BELL RINGS
21:20BELL RINGS
21:23Bye-bye. BELL RINGS
21:25BELL RINGS
21:27BELL RINGS
21:30Take a bite out of Alex's carrot.
21:33Alex's carrot? Is that a euphemism? Is that an actual carrot?
21:38Alex will ring his bell every ten seconds.
21:41You must laugh constantly throughout.
21:44No problem!
21:47BELL RINGS
21:48BELL RINGS
21:50You must both only walk at a gentle pace.
21:53No problem!
21:57Fastest wins!
22:05Fastest wins!
22:06The time starts now.
22:08BELL RINGS
22:11BELL RINGS
22:13BELL RINGS
22:34BELL RINGS
22:36He did look quite good in the hot dog.
22:37Come on, bro! This is what I'm saying, bro!
22:40Should have brought it instead of the trainers.
22:43Let's back on with it, can't we?
22:44We're going to start with a Happy Jack and a Rambling Rosie.
22:46BELL RINGS
22:48BELL RINGS
23:25Oh, you're not Alex, are you?
23:28You're not Alex!
23:34That's wrong, it's not even Alex.
23:37Ha, ha, ha, ha!
23:42Ha, ha, ha, ha!
24:02Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
24:04Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
24:08Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
24:22Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
24:30Ha, ha, ha, ha!
24:34Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
24:53Is that Alex?
24:55Yes.
24:55Is that you, Jack?
24:56Yeah.
24:57Where are we?
24:59Well, I know the way out.
25:00I will see you outside.
25:01Goodbye.
25:02No!
25:04Oh, bloody hell, Alex!
25:12Well, an absolute vision of hell in many ways,
25:15watching both of you go through that dystopian nightmare
25:18made so much worse by me realising for the first time
25:22that Rosie Jones has got Daddy written across her back.
25:27Of course I did!
25:29I felt she was relentless.
25:31Well, she was.
25:32Got me in 3 minutes 49.
25:33Oh, wow.
25:34Jack has the best laugh-to-carrot noise
25:37that I think we'll see tonight.
25:39He went, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
25:41LAUGHTER
25:423 minutes 26 for Jack.
25:44It was a pretty...
25:45Oh.
25:45Pretty close race.
25:46Just over three minutes.
25:47Mm-hm.
25:48Lovely.
25:48Uh-oh.
25:48Now it's time to get giddy with MSD. Uh-oh.
25:52Ha-ha-ha...
25:54Ha-ha-ha-ha...
25:56Ha-ha-ha...
25:58Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:01Ha-ha-ha...
26:02Ha-ha-ha...
26:02Ha-ha-ha...
26:13Alex! It's a doppelganger!
26:16Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:19Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:20You bastard!
26:23Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:24Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:27Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:31Hee-hee-hee-hee...
26:32Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:34Oh, there are two bells!
26:39Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:43Ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:45Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
26:54They're swapping bells!
26:57Swapping bells, you bastards!
26:59Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:01Ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:04Ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:07Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:10Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:11Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:15Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:18Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:21Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:21Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
27:21Hello, Emma!
27:23Really infuriating, that!
27:24Mm-hm...
27:25That other bloke!
27:27Other bloke?
27:28No, I...
27:29I'm not doing that.
27:30No?
27:31Blinder.
27:32Bye-bye.
27:34APPLAUSE
27:36I wish more people would shut him down like that.
27:40No, I'm not doing that.
27:41It works a treat.
27:43I've clearly had enough, which really worries me.
27:46How long was that?
27:47It felt like a long time, and I felt like you went from someone
27:50doing quite a fun comedy laugh to someone who could kill.
27:56And the tipping point for me was this.
27:58Ha-ha-ha-ha.
28:01All three of you walked 300 metres.
28:03They took three minutes, you took eight minutes.
28:05Could have been longer.
28:06I could have kept that going for hours, I think.
28:10There was no way you were going to catch me.
28:14Because...
28:15It's because she was going too slow.
28:17We will have fun.
28:18OK, time for another break.
28:21Hopefully, there will be an overseas advert
28:23that has been badly dubbed in English
28:25so that the company could save money.
28:27Followed quickly, I hope, by a nuclear apocalypse.
28:31It's what we deserve.
28:33It's genuinely my birthday.
28:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:48Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster,
28:51where the bellend's got a bell and he won't stop ringing it.
28:54LAUGHTER
28:56I suppose that's true.
28:57Just two people to go,
28:58and one of them's dressed as a hot dog.
29:00It's Andy Zoltzman, and playing for double points,
29:02it's Babatunde Alesha.
29:04LAUGHTER
29:14LAUGHTER
29:15LAUGHTER
29:18LAUGHTER
29:19LAUGHTER
29:31I got you. Yes, I got your camera, bruh.
29:33I'll try it, bruh.
29:35Yeah! I'm the man!
29:38I won, right?
29:39LAUGHTER
29:41LAUGHTER
29:44LAUGHTER
29:46LAUGHTER
29:49LAUGHTER
29:50Ha ha...
29:54Ha...
29:55Ha ha ha...
29:59BUZZER
30:02BUZZER
30:05BUZZER
30:06BUZZER
30:06BUZZER
30:08BUZZER
30:08BUZZER
30:09BUZZER
30:10Can I go?
30:11We did it in 35 seconds...
30:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:1510 points!
30:18So, Andy, you get four points, but Baba, you get ten points.
30:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:24One more task proper, please, small boy.
30:28I'm the man. Sure thing.
30:31Ding-a-ling. Get ready to check out my versatile new jacket.
30:34GASP
30:51Can I help?
30:52No, I'm on a... I'm on a turntable, Jack.
30:55Mm-hm. Spinning round.
30:59Not really, though, are you?
31:01You're turning round.
31:04Oh, look. It feels a bit personal.
31:08Whoo!
31:09Pick the Taskmaster's locket from its pocket.
31:12Every time you pick an incorrect pocket,
31:15you must high-five Alex.
31:17If you touch, temper with, or peek into a pocket,
31:20you must pick it.
31:21For you, it's pocket pit wounds.
31:27You have a maximum of 15 minutes. Your time starts now.
31:32May I touch you?
31:35LAUGHTER
31:38Why are you spinning?
31:40It's just the setting.
31:42LAUGHTER
31:44Just wind up.
31:47APPLAUSE
31:49Have you got a moment just to replay what I think might be
31:54the creepiest moment in Taskmaster history?
31:58LAUGHTER
31:59Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Here it is.
32:01May I touch...
32:05LAUGHTER
32:0618 series and I've never felt a shudder like it.
32:10LAUGHTER
32:12What is wrong with that?
32:15It's about consent.
32:18Yeah!
32:19It is about consent.
32:21APPLAUSE
32:22Thank you!
32:24Thank you!
32:26First to locate the locket, it's Jack and Bubba.
32:30OK, so I'm thinking there's going to be a...
32:33some sort of locket in one of those pockets.
32:36Mm-hm.
32:36Yeah, yeah.
32:38Is that the locket?
32:40No, it's lipstick.
32:41Do I put it there?
32:41Yeah, I'll put it here.
32:43What's this?
32:43Chinese Five Spice.
32:45Chinese Five Spice.
32:47There's nothing in there, is, other than that.
32:52This is bloody raisin.
32:54OK, stop.
32:57Bow!
32:57Found the locket yet?
32:58No, that's a dog biscuit.
33:00OK.
33:01What's in here?
33:01Nope.
33:02It's the bloody locket.
33:04Bow!
33:08You take a lot of stuff around with you, don't you?
33:11Yep.
33:11108 pockets.
33:13I can see you know that.
33:14Pick up yourself.
33:16No, that's, that's, that's nothing else.
33:18That's just a bag of...
33:20That's my bag of yellow, yeah.
33:21Bag of yellow.
33:22Mm-hm.
33:23Fair enough.
33:26Pick up yourself.
33:30Don't trust sound people or make-up artists.
33:34Mm-hm.
33:34That's a bit bad, isn't it?
33:35I trust sound people or make-up artists, why wouldn't you?
33:38You shouldn't.
33:39Yeah, good advice, thank you.
33:40Mm-hm.
33:41But not what we're after.
33:42Right.
33:43Keys.
33:44Mm-hm.
33:44What do I open this with?
33:46Ah, this might be it.
33:48No, it's a compass.
33:49It's a compass with my name on it.
33:51Babatunde.
33:52Hey, it says my name on it.
33:53Come on.
33:54There's a picture of me.
33:55Yeah.
33:56Yeah.
33:57A couple of things with your names on it.
33:58That's very thoughtful.
34:00Oh, my days with this stupid-ass rocket, mate.
34:03Getting on my nerves.
34:05Stone with Y written on it.
34:06Ah.
34:07These are starting to annoy me.
34:09Rockets.
34:09Too many of them.
34:10Why have you got milk?
34:11Thirsty.
34:12Yuck.
34:13It's an I.
34:14Mm-hm.
34:15So...
34:16Yeah.
34:17Hey!
34:19Pick the locket from the pocket.
34:22That's a padlock.
34:23Oh, for goodness sake, it's a man out one.
34:25What the hell?
34:26Five and a half minutes left to find this locket.
34:29Another pebble, so it spells you.
34:31Right.
34:32I don't think that's got any relevance, to be honest.
34:34OK.
34:35Yeah.
34:35I found the other eye, though.
34:37Ah!
34:37There you go.
34:42The locket is in your pocket.
34:44The locket is in your pocket.
34:46No, it ain't.
34:46I've got no locket in my pocket.
34:56There you are.
34:57You got a locket.
34:58Yeah.
34:58How do you do that?
34:59You, like, David Copperfield now, are you?
35:02And there's a piece of hair in there as well.
35:04Yeah, I've got my own hair.
35:05That's...that's...okay.
35:06Well, I should treasure that.
35:08APPLAUSE
35:12I mean, neither of you thought there might be a faster way of doing this.
35:16Just went route one.
35:17How are we supposed to know that?
35:19There was a locket in our pocket.
35:20I realised after this, because someone took my jacket to do something
35:23and I should have...
35:24Yeah.
35:25You know, trustingly, I said, yeah, of course, thank you.
35:27I thank them.
35:28I thank them.
35:29LAUGHTER
35:30Do you want to know how many pockets they picked?
35:31Yes, please.
35:32Baba Tunde, 41 incorrect pockets.
35:35Jack, 70.
35:37LAUGHTER
35:38Would you like to see Rosie Jones's Locket Adventure?
35:41Let's go.
35:41Rosie Jones.
35:42I don't think it's in this, cos that would be obvious.
35:53Who can I pick that one?
35:58Don't trust sound people on make-up artists.
36:06Well, you don't need to tell me that.
36:10They've got pieces of shit.
36:14LAUGHTER
36:14Is it in your pocket?
36:18You said no, but I don't trust you.
36:32You guys want it?
36:33Yeah.
36:34Right.
36:35LAUGHTER
36:39Oh, is it on me?
36:44Oh, my God!
36:50You sneaky bugger!
36:55LAUGHTER
36:56Well done, Rosie.
36:57Don't trust anyone.
37:02LAUGHTER
37:07I'm just going to make it clear that when Rosie was told
37:11not to trust sound and lighting people, she said, and I quote,
37:14You don't need to tell me that.
37:16They're all pieces of shit.
37:18LAUGHTER
37:21I made it!
37:23LAUGHTER
37:25And you then went on to blatantly steal money from a sound man's wallet.
37:30LAUGHTER
37:31Yeah!
37:33Neil was lying to me.
37:36The least they could do was robbing.
37:41LAUGHTER
37:43He wasn't lying to you.
37:45It was fast, surely.
37:46Well, it's all about the number of pockets picked.
37:48Yes.
37:48Five of Neil's, five of her own, three of mine, so 13 in total.
37:5213.
37:5213 in total.
37:53APPLAUSE
37:55We're stopping again.
37:56One part left to go, and at the end of it,
37:58someone will stroll proudly out of the studio,
38:01carrying a sculpture of a cherub wearing sunglasses
38:04and a painting of a banged-up donkey.
38:06This isn't a cheese dream.
38:08We're all being paid for this.
38:10LAUGHTER
38:11We'll see you in part four.
38:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:26Welcome back, it's part four, and Alex has a stupid jacket on.
38:30It's not stupid, actually.
38:31You're stupid.
38:32Lee Attractive.
38:34LAUGHTER
38:34Yes, I...
38:36LAUGHTER
38:37They have to find the locket by picking the fewest pockets possible.
38:40Two left, it's Andy and Emma.
38:44OK, I'm just going to take a second.
38:49The taskmaster's locket.
38:51Doesn't necessarily...
38:51It's one of your pockets, though, is it?
38:53Are there clues in your pockets?
38:55All I do is spin round.
38:56OK.
38:58So, there's bits of paper in some of these pockets, by the looks of it.
39:01Are you peeking?
39:02Overviewing.
39:03Peeking is...
39:04That's a specific pocket, I'd say.
39:06Right.
39:14Well, some action.
39:16There's a great big statue of the taskmaster outside.
39:19Mm.
39:20Can that count as a locket?
39:21It's not a locket, and it wasn't in a pocket, Andy.
39:24OK, I think I'm going to have to pick a pocket.
39:27Excuse me.
39:29So, that appears to be Richard Herring on a red fish.
39:35Half your time gone.
39:39Chinese five spice.
39:40It's the spice for me.
39:43Right, I need an alternative pocket again.
39:45How many minutes have I got left?
39:46Four and a half.
39:46Four and a half, OK.
39:47I'll use it wisely.
39:52You've got three minutes, Andy.
39:57Right.
39:58I found a pineapple and some string.
39:59Was it in a pocket?
40:00Well, not yet, but I could put it in a pocket.
40:02Other than that one.
40:03Jack, two points for you.
40:05Three to Bubba, four to Rosie, but five to Emma City!
40:08Congratulations!
40:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:11You?
40:12Can I see a scoreboard?
40:13Yes, please.
40:13Well, I think the hot dog helped.
40:15Bubba's on the top with 17 points!
40:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:20Right, everyone, will you please make your way to the stage
40:22for the final task of the show?
40:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:30Who will be reading the task of the following?
40:33That's Bubba!
40:34OK.
40:36Gather a herd of animals with exactly 22 legs.
40:41You may not harm any animals.
40:44LAUGHTER
40:44You may only use animals on either side of this wall
40:49and you may not use each other.
40:51On Alex's whistle, you must hurl one of your herd over the wall.
40:57When your herd has 22 legs, only then may you don your tutus.
41:03First team in tutus wins.
41:04Each of them have six animals on their bench.
41:08Right.
41:09That's where the herd lives.
41:10You've got a flamingo with one leg.
41:12A kangaroo with two.
41:13A sick dog with three legs.
41:15Patatas the cat with four legs.
41:17A monster there with...
41:18You've got to throw something every 15 seconds.
41:21That's when I'll blow the whistle.
41:22If you don't do the maths correctly within the 15 seconds
41:25and another animal comes over and you've missed the tutu opportunity,
41:27it carries on.
41:28Got it.
41:29Good luck.
41:30Right.
41:30We're going for three.
41:32OK, well, maybe don't say it out...
41:34LAUGHTER
41:34LAUGHTER
41:37Pick up an animal.
41:38Get ready to throw.
41:39You're going to be throwing on the whistle.
41:40Three, two, one.
41:43Lovely.
41:43Put that on the bench.
41:45That's 22.
41:49That's 22.
41:53Task complete.
41:54Done.
42:00Wow.
42:01They did it.
42:02Well, not many people would be brave enough to say it.
42:04I will.
42:05The show's been great.
42:07That.
42:07Was.
42:08Rubbish.
42:10Come down here.
42:11We'll add that to the final score.
42:13APPLAUSE
42:18What a glorious anticliminal.
42:21Maybe one of my favourite tasks.
42:25It's really made the scoreboard interesting.
42:27Because a team of three gets five points each for that.
42:30The team of two...
42:31Zero.
42:32Aww.
42:33And the winner is...
42:34Bubba with 22 points!
42:36Yes!
42:37Yes!
42:38Yes!
42:39Yes!
42:40And the winner of the show wins!
42:42Please, bowl up to brandish your badass belongings!
42:50So, what have we learnt from today's show?
42:53We've learnt that Taskmaster...
42:54It's a silly old show, really.
42:56But at times, it has the capacity to move.
42:59The haunting image of Jack Dee strolling heroically into the sunset.
43:04His destination unknown.
43:06Pushing that envelope will forever be etched on all of our minds.
43:11And let's also not forget...
43:13Baba's nuts on a pillow.
43:15LAUGHTER
43:15And here he is again tonight, cos he's the winner!
43:19It's Babatunde Alessi!
43:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:43APPLAUSE
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