- 1 hour ago
Taskmaster's New Year Treat 2024 [Full Movie] [Full Story]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01D'Urgh!
00:07D'Urgh!
00:11Arrgh!
00:14D'Urgh!
00:14D'Urgh!
00:25D'Urgh!
00:26D'Urgh!
00:29D'Urgh!
00:30D'Urgh!
00:31D'Urgh!
00:32D'Urgh!
00:32D'Urgh!
00:34D'Urgh!
00:35Hello! I'm Doug Davis!
00:37Welcome, everybody, to the Taskmaster New Year's Treat!
00:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:44Yes, it's our once-a-year chance
00:47to turn our backs on the wretched army of comedians
00:50and shine the unforgiving light
00:52into the face of those famous for other things.
00:55Sure, these people have achieved success in their chosen field,
00:58but will they fare well at completing pointless tasks
01:01under the watchful eye of a lanky despot
01:03and his hairy snaggletooth boy servant?
01:06LAUGHTER
01:07D'Urgh!
01:08D'Urgh!
01:08D'Urgh!
01:09In the event of one of them being slightly better than the others,
01:12this is their prize!
01:15Ooooooh!
01:17Ooooooh!
01:18Ooooooh!
01:18It's a golden pair of Daddy Big Fun's eyebrows!
01:22What bizarre combination of individuals have been strong-armed
01:27into the coliseum of nonsense this year, I hear you cry?
01:30I shall tell you, here they are!
01:32Please welcome Deborah Meadown!
01:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:35Hoji Radical!
01:38Lenny Rash!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:41Steve Backshaw!
01:43And Zoe Ball!
01:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:47And next to me is a man who confided in me
01:50that his ritual for New Year is simple.
01:53On the 12th day, he takes down his Christmas decorations,
01:55and on the 13th day, he takes whatever awful gift his in-laws
01:59have bought him to a charity shop.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:02And you know it all!
02:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:09Well, I've been a busy day.
02:10Here we go.
02:10I've been so busy over the New Year period, Greg.
02:13Yep.
02:13You know how I like to write my letters.
02:15You love to write letters, don't you?
02:16I wrote 12 now.
02:17Genuinely, I have sent this.
02:18It goes, Cher Madame.
02:19They always start with Cher Madame.
02:21As you know, I work with a really special guy.
02:24Everyone loves this guy.
02:25And I'm sure, Madame, you'd love him too,
02:27and I think you should invite him to your extraordinary house.
02:30You'd need a lot of wax, sure, but I'm happy to help with that,
02:32so please let me know what else I can do to sort out
02:34a statue of Greg Davies at Madame Tussauds as soon as possible.
02:37LAUGHTER
02:39I've sent it to every department there, genuinely.
02:41General enquiries.
02:43LAUGHTER
02:43The press department, there's a section for bloggers and influencers.
02:46Yeah.
02:46I mean, it's pretty tragic, isn't it?
02:48As far as Madame Tussauds are concerned,
02:51I've been getting someone to write in to request my own wax.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:54I would visit so often.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:57This is your best ever mantisection.
02:59Is it?
03:00LAUGHTER
03:00Imagine if it works.
03:01Imagine if it works.
03:04APPLAUSE
03:05Right, let's get the new retreat started with the prize task.
03:08What's the category, Alex?
03:10It's this.
03:10The most fun thing to be carrying
03:13when you enter a room full of people you don't know.
03:15LAUGHTER
03:17You sometimes carry me into a room, don't you, Greg?
03:18Yeah.
03:18Like this sort of human briefcase.
03:20You pop me down, open me up,
03:21and take out your laptop.
03:23LAUGHTER
03:24Five points for the one Greg thinks is the most fun,
03:27and the winner will take home all five things,
03:29plus those gorgeous golden eyebrows.
03:31OK, let us begin with Deborah Meaden.
03:34Hello.
03:34Hello.
03:35You may or may not remember, I do have beef with you.
03:38Oh.
03:39Deborah and I met on a show many, many years ago,
03:43and in the bar afterwards I pitched an idea to her.
03:46LAUGHTER
03:50I didn't think it would take 15 years to get my revenge,
03:52but here we are, Deborah.
03:56It is a genuine idea, it's horizontal glass.
03:59When you're lying on a sofa and you're enjoying a drink,
04:01it's unfortunate that you have to sit up sometimes,
04:05so I invented this glass that's got like a straw comes out the bottom
04:08so that you don't have to move your chin.
04:10Horizontal glass?
04:11Horizontal glass.
04:12I'm in.
04:12Deborah said, were you serious?
04:14You thought that was a good idea?
04:15And I went, I actually do think it's a good idea.
04:18And she said, it's not.
04:20LAUGHTER
04:22Anyway, let's get on with giving you one point.
04:25What have you...
04:26LAUGHTER
04:27What have you...
04:27LAUGHTER
04:29I have bought a bingo cage for calling bingo numbers on.
04:34Here it is.
04:34What a nice one.
04:36OK.
04:38I don't know whether it's mum, Deborah.
04:42You see, you're laughing already, aren't you?
04:44I'm laughing, yes,
04:45because I'm imagining the awful silence as you walk in.
04:48LAUGHTER
04:48OK.
04:50So I used to, one of my early businesses,
04:52I had a prize bingo.
04:53And the one thing I learnt is that everybody loves a game of bingo.
04:57They don't.
05:00LAUGHTER
05:02Barium sulphate, 28.
05:05LAUGHTER
05:07Ah, you're a weird man.
05:09LAUGHTER
05:09Good.
05:10Koji, welcome.
05:11What have you bought us that would make things fun?
05:14A robot puppy.
05:15Here it is.
05:16Yeah, OK.
05:18So, the problem is, I don't know how many people are in the room
05:20and I wouldn't want anyone to go without,
05:22so six robot puppies doing a synchronised dance.
05:27Five, six, seven, eight!
05:29LAUGHTER
05:30LAUGHTER
05:31LAUGHTER
05:32Yeah, that's Julie in the back.
05:35She's problematic, but I like her.
05:38LAUGHTER
05:38They've all got names.
05:41LAUGHTER
05:49Are they yours?
05:51Yeah, I've been training them for the last two weeks.
05:54LAUGHTER
05:55He genuinely has.
05:56I mean, my mind's blown.
05:57Yeah.
05:58OK, Lenny, can you beat seven dancing robot dogs?
06:01Six.
06:02LAUGHTER
06:03Well, if it's six, I can.
06:07LAUGHTER
06:10Yeah.
06:12Erm, it's quite tricky,
06:13because obviously I'm the only kid here
06:15and I sort of wanted to fit in somehow.
06:18So, I bought, er, beer and cigarettes.
06:21LAUGHTER
06:28So, this is what Lenny caught in.
06:32LAUGHTER
06:33He walks into the room like that
06:35and then, in actual fact, what's inside is this.
06:38Oh.
06:39And cigarettes.
06:42That's squash.
06:43LAUGHTER
06:46APPLAUSE
06:49I cannot think of an event that wouldn't be made more fun
06:52by you turning up with cigarettes and beer.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:57OK, wonderful.
06:58Steve.
06:59I've got the most venomous animal in the world...
07:01Ooh.
07:02..in a jar.
07:03Someone's up the stakes.
07:04LAUGHTER
07:05What is it?
07:06It's called an Irukandji.
07:07It's a kind of box jellyfish
07:08and they are the most venomous creature in the world,
07:11with the power to stop a human heart faster than any other animal.
07:14Keep it light, man.
07:15LAUGHTER
07:17There it is.
07:18Oh, it's tiny.
07:19It's tiny.
07:20Would it kill someone?
07:21They absolutely can,
07:22but the venom gives you an impending sense of doom,
07:25so you have this overwhelming sensation
07:27that the world is going to end
07:29once you've been stung by an Irukandji.
07:31Is it the sort of feeling that Deborah's feeling
07:33just before the points are given?
07:34LAUGHTER
07:36OK, Zoe.
07:37Erm, I have brought with me a one-man band
07:40because I've always wanted one.
07:42Yep.
07:43And I thought it would be quite, you know...
07:45Good to put it on the budget.
07:46LAUGHTER
07:48Who would not want that?
07:51I don't know.
07:52Erm...
07:53I don't know whether I want Zoe Paul.
07:56Because...
07:56The knee could be banjo
07:59and the thing going on the back
08:00and then I wake up...
08:04No, Zoe, I'm a big fan of your work,
08:07but I'm not going to find that fun.
08:09LAUGHTER
08:10I had one at my wedding.
08:11I like them.
08:12First dance at that.
08:14LAUGHTER
08:16It's so weird!
08:18Right, we need to know which is the least fun.
08:20Well, you know which is the least fun.
08:23Deborah, you're off the mark with one point.
08:24Sorry, Deborah.
08:26Yours is tricky, Steve.
08:27Because I think it's a remarkable thing to take to a party,
08:30but I think most people would go,
08:31he's a psychopath!
08:33LAUGHTER
08:34LAUGHTER
08:35But is it more fun than Zoe Ball with a one-man band?
08:39Yeah, it is more fun than that, yeah.
08:42Two points to Zoe, three points to Steve.
08:45OK, got it.
08:45Now we're up with the big guns.
08:48LAUGHTER
08:48I always knew it would come to this.
08:51LAUGHTER
08:52I can't separate them.
08:54Five points each.
08:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:01Right, it's Papa Cash time.
09:03What have you got, Alex?
09:04Well, Papa Greg, it's time for some Papa Doms.
09:20Ooh, food.
09:22Food and letters.
09:23Food letters and a glass?
09:24Yes.
09:25Is this your sort of thing?
09:27Erm, Scrabble?
09:29Yeah.
09:30That's a coincidence.
09:31There's nothing like Scrabble.
09:32There's nothing like Scrabble?
09:33No.
09:34Do you use cloches a lot at home?
09:36No.
09:36Mum doesn't make milkshakes.
09:38She makes more like microwave meals and pot noodles.
09:41Oh, I like something.
09:42What's under that?
09:43Oh.
09:45Ooh.
09:46Oh.
09:47Ooh!
09:48Are those Papa Doms?
09:49Maybe.
09:50Love a Papa Doms.
09:53I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?
09:55Eat these Papa Doms.
09:57Hurrah!
09:59After each mouthful, you must use a letter of the alphabet
10:02from your vocabulary.
10:04Then either compliment Greg or insult Alex.
10:07I don't want to insult you.
10:09I like to be insulted.
10:10Oh, you like to be insulted.
10:11OK.
10:12Your insults and compliments must all be different.
10:16If you use a loss letter at any time,
10:1710 grams will be added to your final Papa Doms weight.
10:21Most Papa Doms eat and wins.
10:24You have a maximum of 10 minutes.
10:25Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle.
10:29Like, let's say if I got rid of eight,
10:30I can't say a word with eight in it.
10:32Mm-hm.
10:33What?
10:34This is...
10:35This is a travesty!
10:44Are you all Papa Doms fans?
10:46Not anymore.
10:47Oh.
10:49Good.
10:49Well, I hope you've got some insults.
10:50I wrote a few down that you could have used.
10:53Wonky Tooth, Sesame Street character,
10:55Cry Baby Longneck, Andy Murray look-alike.
10:57These are just a few.
10:58Hair-covered horse dong.
11:00These are just some of you...
11:01..that you could have had.
11:02Shall we crack on?
11:03Yes.
11:04Our first two number crunches are Deborah Meaden
11:06and Steve Backshaw.
11:09So, mouthful letter, insult.
11:11WHISTLE BLOWS
11:20Alex, I don't like your shoes.
11:26After every mouthful, you must lose a letter.
11:28OK, that's not even a mouthful.
11:30No.
11:31I haven't swallowed yet.
11:33Right.
11:33No.
11:36Is that not a mouthful?
11:37I haven't swallowed yet, but I am going to get my mouthful.
11:39Yeah.
11:41Greg, you're my favourite comedian of all time.
11:44Zed is going in.
11:46Greg is a lovely man.
11:53Alex, that shirt needs a tie.
11:55I'm a serious businesswoman.
11:57I've heard that.
11:57I do deals every day.
11:59People take me very seriously.
12:05Greg, you are my perfect man.
12:08V, Alex is meaner than I can.
12:09I thought.
12:12Wow.
12:14Oh.
12:17Is this how you do it in the restaurants, don't we?
12:23Alex, I never liked the horn selection.
12:25Do you feel like they're coming quite naturally to you?
12:28Didn't have to work at that one.
12:32Good.
12:33Ah.
12:33Very lovely.
12:34Nobody you said?
12:35Did I say lovely?
12:36No.
12:39Happy with it?
12:41Water…
12:41Are these vegan?
12:43Yes.
12:43Are these vegan?
12:44Alex, you will always be a sidekick.
12:46You seem to be enjoying.
12:56Moron you said the b-word
13:01We're into the final one minute 40 seconds
13:03Is it over yet?
13:08It's not over 20 seconds
13:13Noobs
13:17I only got popped on one eyebrow
13:24That's your time up
13:33Final image was quite powerful of you Steve there. Just the thought of poppadoms now makes me wretch
13:39Yeah, rightly your insults were deliciously specific to Alex and I know for a fact
13:46Actually hurt his feet
13:50I've never liked the horn section
13:54It's absolutely delicious
13:55Five and a half poppadoms you got through in ten minutes which is fast. It was very impressive
14:00Deborah was your strategy just eat all the poppadoms
14:05It was actually did Deborah do any compliments or she did that I was nice I think I mean they
14:10both actually made quite a few mistakes
14:12Unfortunately, so every time you made a mistake 10 grams will be added to your total. You made 24 mistakes.
14:17I made 24. They've made 38
14:21If either you had not even eaten anything you would have done much better
14:28You would have done much better
14:50And Steve forgot they weren't supposed to use the letters they'd removed from their vocabulary
14:53And now for some more of the same with Koji, Lenny and Zoe
14:58Can I go get some water?
15:02First thing I'm going to do, please sir, can I get a drink?
15:05You may
15:06I'm just checking
15:09You absolute beauties
15:11Still here we're still here
15:13Still smashing it up
15:14There's something in is it sauces can I dip the
15:18Oh
15:20See this is lovely
15:25Now we couldn't do that
15:28Yippee
15:29I feel like one of those miniature monkeys
15:31It's about to see a backflip
15:37Okay
15:38We've lost his head
15:39Alex has weird knees
15:41Weird knees?
15:43Yeah
15:43You're a mean man
15:45Mm-hmm
15:46I didn't like your hoodie this morning
15:48Really?
15:49Yeah
15:54Alex
15:55You're so hairy
15:59Weird fingers
16:01Wait
16:03Question
16:03It says eat the papadums
16:05Doesn't say who has to
16:09Is it?
16:10Yeah
16:15Alex you look so sweaty
16:17Hairy and sweaty
16:18Right
16:22Oh my god
16:23I'm losing time on the rest
16:26I feel like I'm losing
16:28A lot of points
16:33It smells good
16:35Have you met him?
16:36In my head
16:37It smells that peck of ruban
16:39Mm-hmm
16:44Mm-hmm
16:45Mm-hmm
16:47Sauce pops
16:47He's calling Greg a sauce pop
16:48Yeah
16:49Mm-hmm
16:51Yeah
16:52That's the thing
16:57Pig
17:02If there's one thing I've learned
17:03In my years of watching this show Alex
17:06Cause I know you'll put anything in your mouth
17:09I plan to use that to my advantage today
17:11Mm-hmm
17:16You can't spell any of my insults
17:19Um
17:20Gap
17:21My teeth
17:22Yeah
17:22I feel sorry
17:23Bony knees
17:26Melting
17:26Melting
17:28Can't spell it
17:29Can't spell melting
17:29I feel sick
17:33Well I feel quite hurt
17:42I think this is your problem in the context of this stupid show Zoe
17:45You're too nice
17:47Do you want me to help you?
17:48I'll write an insult that for you to say to Alex
17:51Okay
17:51I think it's just training just to bring out your dark side
17:58Hi Zoe
17:59You wank flap
18:00There
18:00See?
18:02That was so easy isn't it?
18:08Apologies to Lenny's parents
18:10I hear a lot worse from my mum's right
18:16Lenny
18:17You did throw a few nice insults
18:18And when you said pig
18:19We didn't include all your compliments
18:23There were some pretty good ones to you
18:25Lovely hair, wonderful posture, perfect, hot, fab, fit, muscle
18:31You know it
18:31Thank you
18:32Oh gee
18:33I felt
18:34That the moment you discovered the dipping sauces
18:37That you lost total interest in this task
18:41I feel you were just there for a meal
18:44To be fair
18:45I've always wanted to feed things to Alex
18:47So much so
18:48That I had the moment
18:50Commemorated into a t-shirt
18:51No
18:51No
18:59Yeah, yeah
19:00So in the end, each of the poppadoms was kind of irrelevant
19:03It was all about how many mistakes they made
19:04Yes
19:04We knew Deborah, 24
19:06Actually the least mistakes, Deborah
19:07Compared to 38 for Steve
19:0956 for Zoe
19:1085 by you Lenny
19:11And 131 mistakes
19:15I think that's magnificent
19:17Koji produced 97 poppadoms
19:20Comes in last place
19:21You get one point
19:22Lenny produced 64
19:23Zoe 41
19:25Steve 24
19:26Deborah only produced 15 poppadoms in the end
19:29So she gets five points
19:30There it is
19:30Here we go
19:34Can we have a look at a lovely big scoreboard, Alex?
19:36Alright, it's close
19:37We have two people in joint third
19:39And two people in joint first
19:40And that's Lenny and Steve
19:42Thank you
19:43Thank you
19:45Thank you
19:45Thank you
19:46Thank you
19:46On we go
19:48OK
19:49And just like the time you caught me drawing you in the shower
19:52This one involves
19:53An awkward portrait
20:07Makes me feel important
20:09You are important Steve
20:10Not used to seeing my name in lights
20:12Well I've got quite a serious question to ask you Lenny
20:15Alright
20:15Can I ask you a
20:16Well quite a personal question Deborah?
20:18You can
20:18I might not answer it
20:19How long does it take you to eat an orange?
20:22How long does it take you to eat an orange?
20:24Erm
20:25Might want to give myself a bit of extra time
20:27Considering where I am
20:28What kind of show this is
20:29This isn't part of this
20:30This is just a general
20:31I don't believe you Alex
20:34I'm going to go for three minutes
20:37Three minutes
20:39Ten minutes
20:39Ten minutes
20:40Four minutes and 45 seconds
20:43Is that your final answer?
20:46Six minutes and 23 seconds
20:49OK
20:50Er I reckon I could do an orange in about 45 seconds
20:54That's pretty cool
20:55It's one of my special talents
20:57OK
20:57OK
20:57You can open the task now
20:59OK
21:00Draw a picture of yourself eating some fruit on this tablet
21:04You may not touch the touch screen with any part of your hands
21:09You have as long as it takes you to eat an orange
21:15On reflection
21:16I reckon it could take me over an hour
21:20Also throughout the task
21:21You must become increasingly angry
21:25Your time starts now
21:27Are you going to keep shouting times at me?
21:29Yeah, I'll make sure you get angry
21:31Yeah
21:31Don't worry about that
21:32Oh, that's going to be easy
21:38I'm intrigued by Steve's orange eating arrogance
21:42I honestly thought that I was being challenged as to how fast I could eat an orange
21:46But it felt to me like you've timed yourself eating oranges before
21:50You've passed and gone, yeah
21:51Have you?
21:52No
21:55Deborah has this amazing ability
21:58In any situation to seem like she's in charge
22:00It's quite a skill
22:01And he doesn't like it
22:02He doesn't like strong women
22:07Right
22:08Let's have a look
22:09OK, do you want me to show you all of them creating at once?
22:12Yeah, man
22:12Here we go
22:14What makes, erm
22:16What makes something move on here?
22:17What that?
22:19The time starts now
22:24Oh, wow
22:25I can do it with my nose
22:27There's a banana here
22:28Bananas are like fingers
22:31It's gone blank
22:33Ooh, now it's your hand
22:35I think I might have to shut my eyes though
22:37Oh, OK
22:38Oh, I've got to get angry as well
22:40It's a terrible drawing and I hate it
22:42Shoulders
22:43Your anger should start just creeping innocent
22:46Shoulders
22:48I don't like that
22:50He was standing over my shoulder going
22:51Mm-hmm
22:54Dreading my
22:56Excessive confidence with orange eating
22:58Yeah, you've got six seconds left, Dave
22:59Grrr
23:00This is
23:01Hard work
23:04It's not straight, it's not straight
23:07I was about to get really angry
23:10Oh, well
23:12I feel like King Kardashian or something
23:14I've got massive lips
23:15Is that OK?
23:17Is that OK?
23:18Yeah, that's OK
23:18Good, good
23:19A minute there
23:20Is it clinking rude to invite people onto Taskmaster?
23:24I'm going to go back with a big red nose
23:26I cannot tell you how irritating
23:28Rubbing my nose against
23:29I don't know where that came from
23:30I don't know where that came from
23:31I don't know where that came from
23:33I don't know where that came from
23:34I don't know where that came from
23:36You know what?
23:36Because he's so angry
23:37Laserbeam
23:38Pew pew pew pew pew
23:39I feel like you're getting less angry
23:44And that I could be doing better things in my time right now
23:48Darn it
23:49You pesky horn
23:51And can I end on a happy note?
23:54Because I'm actually quite pleased with my picture
23:56Ah!
23:57That was so loud!
24:05I was just feeling guilty
24:07characterising you as just perennially cheerful all the time.
24:10Oh, my God.
24:10And then I watch a video of you going, grrrr.
24:15There was lots about Laddie's attempt that I enjoy,
24:17but there's just a still of you that I asked Alex for
24:20while we were watching of you two.
24:22And I just think it's so funny, if you take it out of the context
24:25of this show, if you just saw this,
24:28what the hell would you think was going on?
24:31LAUGHTER
24:36I mean, someone's going to get arrested off the back of this.
24:39It is indeed!
24:41OK, let's see some stuff.
24:43OK, well, he only had 45 seconds,
24:46but Steve managed to paint this with his nose.
24:50LAUGHTER
24:54I mean, in 45 seconds that you took the time
24:58to give yourself a six pass.
25:00LAUGHTER
25:01It is incredible.
25:02And a really smug smile as well.
25:05Isn't that supposed to be eating fruit?
25:07There's supposed to be fruit in the picture, yeah.
25:08That was the only thing missing.
25:09Unless you can claim any of that as fruit.
25:11Blueberries?
25:13LAUGHTER
25:14It's not bad in 45 seconds, Steve. Fair play.
25:17Let's have a look at Zoe Ball's picture.
25:19Here we go.
25:21LAUGHTER
25:23LAUGHTER
25:24It was spectacular!
25:26Oh, my God!
25:28So disturbing!
25:29What are you putting in your mouth?
25:30It's watermelon, Steve.
25:32It's watermelon.
25:34Look, it's got pips in it.
25:35Why have you aged yourself by 60 years?
25:37LAUGHTER
25:39I was really proud of that.
25:41Don't take it from me.
25:42It's good!
25:43Lovely melon.
25:45What?
25:45Let's stop for a bit.
25:46Alex, do you want to throw to the abs?
25:48OK.
25:55APPLAUSE
26:00Hello!
26:01Welcome back.
26:02It might be cold outside, but Taskmaster will keep you warm.
26:05Warmed by the red-hot heat of old Grandfather Task.
26:09LAUGHTER
26:11Before the break...
26:12Before the break, the Famous Five were making self-portraits on an iPad
26:16without using their hands, so let's see some more results,
26:19starting with Koji's radical picture.
26:23LAUGHTER
26:25You can see the laser beams if you look closely.
26:28That's a strawberry, I mean a strawberry.
26:30And in your mind, the character jumped into the air and his legs fell off?
26:34LAUGHTER
26:35I was like, it's a self-portrait, and I was sitting at a table,
26:38so the rest of my legs are under the table, but it's, um, abstract.
26:43LAUGHTER
26:45Next up, I'm going to show you Lenny's rushed self-portrait.
26:49LAUGHTER
26:50Kim Kardashian with a banana.
26:52I changed to a pair, but obviously I'm quite small, so the pair is very...
26:56Like, that's actually what a pair is like to me.
27:00LAUGHTER
27:02Very clever.
27:04LAUGHTER
27:05Who's next?
27:06The final one, fresh from the Dragon's Pen, here is Deborah's masterpiece.
27:11There we go.
27:13LAUGHTER
27:15LAUGHTER
27:18Well, I went abstract too.
27:21LAUGHTER
27:21Is it you eating fruit but being watched from a bird hide?
27:25LAUGHTER
27:26Right at the very end, she managed to press a button with her nose
27:28that created quite a big black, er, layer over the top.
27:32But we have managed to take that layer off,
27:34because you were eating a banana in the picture, you claimed.
27:37And this is what you did before covering it up.
27:41LAUGHTER
27:42Much better, much, much better.
27:45LAUGHTER
27:45LAUGHTER
27:52Oh, dear. He's up.
27:54What's this?
27:57I don't know. My tongue.
27:59I have a very long tongue.
28:01LAUGHTER
28:01You've got a long tongue?
28:02I've got a long tongue.
28:03I'll show you later.
28:04Say, Lenny!
28:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:11Oh, dear.
28:12Oh, dear.
28:14All right, Greg, I'm going to show you all five.
28:16I mean, it's obviously Deborah's that's the worst.
28:18LAUGHTER
28:19Just because it doesn't look remotely like you, Deborah,
28:22or a person...
28:23LAUGHTER
28:24..or someone eating fruit.
28:26So, one point to Deborah.
28:27We'll give Steve two points, because there's, er,
28:30no visible fruit there.
28:32Sorry, Lenny, I think I'm going to give you three points.
28:34I like Granny Ball,
28:35even though Zoe did seemingly draw it
28:38while she was on the trampolines.
28:40LAUGHTER
28:40And then, of course,
28:42Koji's masterpiece takes the five points.
28:44There you go.
28:44APPLAUSE
28:46Three, four, five.
28:50Please can I see one more task?
28:53LAUGHTER
29:09Alex?
29:10Koji?
29:10In there.
29:11Please enter the space ball.
29:13Hello.
29:13Please enter the oxygen chamber.
29:15The oxygen chamber?
29:16Maybe.
29:17Thunderdome?
29:18Thunderdome, sorry, yes.
29:19Thunderdome.
29:20Sorry, Deborah.
29:20Right.
29:21Oh!
29:22There's a task within a task.
29:24Hang on a minute.
29:25It's a pop-up task!
29:27Oh!
29:28Of course!
29:29Right.
29:29You're taking a piss.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:32This is doing nothing for my trust issues!
29:34LAUGHTER
29:35Make these things pop when the timer hits zero.
29:39Make these things pop when the timer hits zero.
29:42Toast.
29:43Popper.
29:44Monster.
29:45Jack.
29:46Gum.
29:47Feeder.
29:48Cuckoo.
29:49Cuckoo.
29:49Bubble.
29:49And balloon.
29:51Missing a balloon.
29:53Oh!
29:54Shortest time between first and last pop wins.
29:58Yeah, 15 minutes.
30:00And your time starts now.
30:03And it has to pop at 15 minutes.
30:05Uh-huh, everything.
30:06There are nine things there, Koji.
30:08So you're aiming for them all to pop in 15 minutes' time?
30:11Yeah.
30:11At the same time, ideally.
30:12Oh, so have I got a test?
30:13You can do as much testing as you want.
30:15Oh, oh, I see.
30:16But you've only got those pieces of bread.
30:17And only one balloon.
30:22Huh?
30:24APPLAUSE
30:30Do you want to explain the rules now?
30:32Yes, Koji.
30:33So...
30:34LAUGHTER
30:34It is slightly complicated.
30:36I've done a little graphic for you.
30:37There are 15 minutes until the clock hits zero.
30:41They want all their pops to happen at the same time as that.
30:45The closer the pops are together, around the clock hitting zero, the better.
30:49Let's begin.
30:49Here is Lenny, Stevie and someone who doesn't like being called Debbie.
30:53Here we go.
30:54LAUGHTER
30:58I think the first thing I want to try is the toast.
31:01I don't actually know how toasters work.
31:03LAUGHTER
31:05So you're pre-toasting the toast, are you?
31:07Yes.
31:08OK.
31:08And then it's going to be toasty toast.
31:10I think it's speech-operated.
31:12I have to talk to the toaster?
31:15LAUGHTER
31:15Go down.
31:17APPLAUSE
31:20She's not.
31:22No, I'm not sure it is, actually.
31:26I'll just take...
31:28Oh, that's a really quick one.
31:33Don't like these.
31:38Oh, God, I don't like him.
31:39I need to wind that with one hand.
31:43Maybe I should take that down.
31:45Oh, actually, can I just do that?
31:46Oh, look, look, look, look, I can just do that.
31:47Okay, let's do that. Okay, how many hands have I got?
31:51Okay...
31:52Three minutes and counting.
31:54How does this pop?
31:56That's a cat feeder, Lenny.
31:57Oh, so I thought they were minutes.
32:00No. They're not minutes. It's hours, isn't it?
32:02If I give it the smallest...
32:04Ooh!
32:05Ooh!
32:08Ooh, wow!
32:10That's dramatic!
32:16Ooh, have I got to chew bubblegum?
32:17To turn it into a bubble?
32:19Yeah.
32:20All in one go.
32:22Go home, go home.
32:25That's good.
32:26Okay, that's good. Let's go.
32:27Where's the balloon happening?
32:37Ah! It's there!
32:39Okay, so I don't want to pop that yet.
32:42Can you let me know when there's ten seconds left?
32:44So you're doing everything in the last ten seconds.
32:46I like it.
32:46Yes.
32:48Okay, Toaster's going down.
32:49That's both going down.
32:50The next pops are the real pops, is that right?
32:52That's right.
32:5630 seconds.
32:57I can do this.
33:0225 seconds.
33:04This pencil's killing me.
33:09I can go down there.
33:10Ten seconds.
33:11Ten seconds.
33:19Um...
33:25Oh, don't!
33:43Yay!
33:44Amazing!
33:48Oh, my God.
33:49My hands are so sleepy.
33:52Am I doing the right thing?
33:54Oh, that popped.
33:55That popped.
33:55One more thing hasn't popped yet.
33:57Well, it hasn't popped.
33:58That popped.
33:59That's popped.
34:00What's not popped?
34:03You've done everything, Lenny.
34:05What's not popped?
34:06Cuckoo feeder.
34:07Feeder.
34:08That.
34:09That!
34:11Correct.
34:13Is that it?
34:14You may leave.
34:15You may need to chew bubble gum.
34:16My mother is going to be so cross with you.
34:25I mean, Steve just seems like he's a professional popper.
34:29I've had an advantage in that I've used a toaster before.
34:37Yeah, but do you sometimes think, with all of your success, you may have lost touch a little bit?
34:44That's...
34:44We have an arga.
34:45That's not going to help.
34:46In my defence.
34:48I didn't know you couldn't talk to toasters.
34:50You can't talk to toasters!
34:53I mean, it's a good job this isn't the sort of show that would replay that moment so that it
34:58haunts you forever.
35:00This one?
35:01Yeah.
35:02Go down.
35:06APPLAUSE
35:11Lenny, I mean, you were really good as well, I thought.
35:14But the thing that intrigued me is you didn't know what was inside that cat feeder,
35:19and the moment you saw what was inside it, you started eating.
35:22LAUGHTER
35:23I like a little gremlin, aren't I?
35:25LAUGHTER
35:27Good.
35:27I want some times.
35:29I mean, obviously, Steve was the fastest of the three.
35:31His window was just 18 seconds to pop all nine things.
35:34Oh.
35:34Lenny and Deborah were very similar with their times.
35:36Unfortunately for Deborah, she didn't spot the feeder.
35:39So, Lenny took 50 seconds altogether, Deborah 72, which is not bad.
35:42Right.
35:42And you think that not seeing the feeder is going to be the thing that Deborah regrets most about that
35:47cat.
35:47LAUGHTER
35:48Go down.
35:51LAUGHTER
35:53Just one part to go.
35:55Who will take home some candy sticks and squash and some enormous golden eyebrows?
35:59You'll find out very soon.
36:05APPLAUSE
36:09Well, welcome back to the final part of the show, where another New Year treat is almost over.
36:15Yes.
36:16And I suppose that also means we're all that little bit closer to the end of our lives.
36:20LAUGHTER
36:21Before the break, the cast were trying to synchronise their nine items to pop as close to zero as possible.
36:26That's the task.
36:27So, obviously, you're going to start as close to zero as possible.
36:31I mean, who wouldn't?
36:33Who wouldn't start as close to zero as possible?
36:36LAUGHTER
36:37It's Koji and Zoe.
36:39OK, so you just want to set the clock.
36:42Ah!
36:43LAUGHTER
36:44It's not...
36:44Very sweet.
36:45Very sweet.
36:47That's 15.
36:48That's not doing anything.
36:49That's...
36:50Shit.
36:50LAUGHTER
36:52OK, so that...
36:55There's three pieces of bubblegum there.
36:57Alex, please.
37:00OK, yeah.
37:01Why do they always make you jump?
37:03That's not happening, is it?
37:04I've never been able to blow a bubble.
37:05Ever.
37:06Spit it out.
37:07Spit it out of me.
37:08How long have I got left?
37:10Six minutes, twenty.
37:11Six minutes.
37:12So, if I put that on, six minutes and a bit...
37:18What do you want?
37:21And then you could do...
37:22Wow.
37:23The balloon is well.
37:25I've got too many things to press, Alex.
37:27No, I see the problems.
37:28So, the plan is just...
37:30It's like...
37:30Yeah.
37:31It's like a drum solo.
37:32Ga-ba-ba-ba-ba-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca.
37:36Go-go-do-ba-do-go-go-go-go.
37:38Can't wait.
37:39Mm-hmm.
37:39This is still stuck on six.
37:41It's going to feed the cat in six hours?
37:43Ah!
37:44Right.
37:44Hang on, no.
37:48Something's going.
37:49Oh, shit!
37:51It's going to get bigger.
37:52Uh-huh
37:54That's gone. That's the first pop first pop. Yes, I'm over left on the thing. Well three minutes one minute
38:00to go
38:00Okay, let's just try for at least
38:12He just came straight out I
38:15Toast I don't know that is it toast that's toast
38:19That can never be bread put this back in the bag people figure not
38:34Lovely
38:41See the element of P to arrest straight to the TV
38:45Y&Z now I know my ABCs
38:49Everything is popped
38:51Except my career
38:52Thanks, Rory. Thank you. You can tell them with you if you want to my toast
38:57It's all I have I have no dignity left. I have two pieces of toast
39:14You look like you had it all under control
39:16Yeah, I made a list I tried to back time it
39:19And then what I've written down is
39:21When Zoe's attempt started, it looked like a woman falling down some stairs
39:30Oh dear, it was good toast though. It was good toast
39:33I did so bad. I just
39:34Well, I don't know what happened there, Coachy, but you told the cat feeder it was shit
39:40You said that Alex sickened you and you appeared to have beef with a mechanical cuckoo
39:45I've got a lot done
39:46I mean you wrote a song as well
39:51That's got to be worse that is
39:52Yeah, no, not point-wise
39:53This is definitely not
39:54Okay, well, we know that so far Deborah's in third was 72
39:58Neither of you two did better than that, of course
40:01Koji, your window was 3 minutes 31
40:03Zoe, the cat feeder, finally went off 24 minutes after the phone
40:08So a single point to Zoe, two to Koji, three to Deborah, four to Lenny, but five to Steve Batchel
40:16That meant Steve was joint first with Lenny on 14 points
40:20Wow, yep, it's okay
40:23Anyone should win
40:25Okay, everyone, just one more thing to do
40:28Please stay where you are
40:30Ooh
40:30While Alex and I make our way to the stage for the final task of the show
40:35Ooh
40:44Who will be reading the task out?
40:47Deborah Meaden, please
40:49Okay
40:50Say whether the item will fit through the hole or not fit through the hole
40:54If you get it right, you lose an egg
40:57And the fewest eggs remaining wins
40:59Okay
41:00Okay
41:01Any questions?
41:03No
41:06Greg, shall we head over to the first item?
41:08Together
41:13Here we are
41:14That's not going to help those rumours on the internet
41:17Shall I present?
41:21Will the duck bring them luck?
41:25Well, it's good, we've got two yeses and three noes
41:28It's time to thrust
41:29Next
41:30LAUGHTER
41:32Whoa
41:33Whoa
41:34Whoa
41:35Whoa
41:35Yeah!
41:36Yeah!
41:37Well, we need two correct answers
41:40Discard your eggs, koji and lemon
41:43Second item, it's a triangular hole, but what's the item?
41:47Yes
41:48Oh
41:48Whoa
41:49Whoa
41:51Will the pan?
41:52Yes, it can
41:53Or not
41:53LAUGHTER
41:54One yes, two noes
41:57Another yes
41:58Another yes
41:59It's time to thrust
42:02Oh
42:03Oh
42:04Oh
42:05Sideways
42:06Oh
42:07Oh
42:07Hooray
42:10Hey
42:10Yeah
42:10Woo
42:11Woo
42:12Woo
42:12That's not over
42:13That's not over
42:15That's not over
42:16Can Zoe Ball just hit someone with an egg?
42:18Sorry
42:18Sorry
42:19Jesus Christ, Zoe Ball's gone into full meltdown
42:23They've all lost one egg, Greg
42:26ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
42:28Will the cone find its way home?
42:32All nose.
42:37ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
42:40It genuinely won't go through.
42:42You can all discard an egg. Well done.
42:44APPLAUSE
42:47Watermelon.
42:47Ooh.
42:49Will the melon be a hero or felon?
42:52LAUGHTER
42:54Five Nose.
42:55Thrust.
42:57ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
42:58Oh!
43:01It's a...it's a squeezy melon.
43:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:07You know what?
43:08Yeah.
43:10Koji's cross.
43:11I'm not sure he's as cross as Lenny, you know.
43:14LAUGHTER
43:15Lovely window. What's behind it?
43:17Oh!
43:19Whoa!
43:20Oh!
43:21Give it a squish.
43:25See you at the BAFTAs.
43:27LAUGHTER
43:28OK, we've got no, no, no, no, no.
43:30Yes for ball.
43:31Ball on ball.
43:31Will it go through?
43:32Ooh!
43:33Ooh!
43:36Ooh!
43:36Ooh!
43:37Ooh!
43:38No!
43:38Everyone but Zoe can discard an egg.
43:42Ooh!
43:42Boxyglove.
43:43Will the crap go through the gap?
43:46LAUGHTER
43:46They've all gone for the same answer.
43:49BUZZER
43:51BUZZER
43:52Oh!
43:52Give it back!
43:53Give it back!
43:55I'm working for you!
43:56I'm working for you!
43:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:59Woo-hoo!
44:00APPLAUSE
44:02Will the balloon be coming soon?
44:06Ooh!
44:07Now, then.
44:07Four no's and one yes for Koji Radical.
44:10Oh!
44:10It's time for the rest.
44:12Oh!
44:14Oh!
44:15Oh!
44:16Oh!
44:16Oh!
44:17Too rough, William Gray!
44:19LAUGHTER
44:21Everyone but Koji may discard an egg.
44:23OK.
44:24It's the chair-shaped hole, but what's he going to be putting through it?
44:27Oh!
44:27I wonder.
44:29LAUGHTER
44:30Will the chair fix more there?
44:33Radical says...
44:34No.
44:36Ooh!
44:38Ooh!
44:39It's nearly there!
44:41Will it go?
44:42That's no!
44:43That's no!
44:44Yes!
44:46That's no!
44:46Oh!
44:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:50Only Steve and Zoe got that one right.
44:52Probably a little worrying I'm out of breath, isn't it?
44:55LAUGHTER
44:55So, now, everyone look at this little hole here.
44:58Look-a-buck-a-buck!
45:00LAUGHTER
45:01What are we going to be poking through that hole?
45:03Ooh!
45:04Ooh!
45:05But for who?
45:07LAUGHTER
45:07Will that be good or will it be folly?
45:10Let's see where they thrust the brolly.
45:11LAUGHTER
45:15Only Lenny has gone for no.
45:17Oh, no.
45:18Ooh!
45:20Ooh!
45:22Ooh!
45:25Ooh!
45:26Shove it!
45:27No!
45:28It's a no!
45:29Ooh!
45:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:33Lonnie and Steve, neck and neck, four eggs left each.
45:36Koji, heartbroken.
45:38LAUGHTER
45:39What's the final one?
45:40Well, you can pick up the final item if you want.
45:43Ooh!
45:45Ooh!
45:46Ooh!
45:47Will little Alex Horne...
45:49..be reborn?
45:51LAUGHTER
45:53You can make it.
45:55We have four yeses, one no.
45:58Ooh!
46:01Ooh!
46:02Ooh!
46:04Ooh!
46:06Ooh!
46:09Ooh!
46:09Ooh!
46:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:13It did not fit through.
46:17Good.
46:19We'll add that to the final scores and see what's happened.
46:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:28Well, well, well.
46:30So, Koji, I'm afraid you got the fewest answers right.
46:33You had the most eggs at the end, so you get one point.
46:36Aww.
46:36Let's just enjoy Koji's face for a bit.
46:39LAUGHTER
46:40In joint third in that round,
46:43Deborah and Zoe both got half of them right.
46:45Five, which means they get three points each.
46:47In second place, six correct answers were Steve,
46:49but Lenny got seven, so he gets five points.
46:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:54And so...?
46:56And so the final scores look a little bit like this.
47:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:02And Lenny Rush wins!
47:06A new year's treat!
47:08Please head up to the stage and then lift a lot,
47:11your golden eyebrows!
47:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:17Have yourselves a brilliant year,
47:19and we'll see you again very soon.
47:21For now, here's the winner of this special night.
47:23It's Lenny!
47:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Comments