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Taskmaster's New Year Treat 2024 [Full Movie] [Full Version]Full EP - Full
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00:01D'Urgh!
00:07D'Urgh!
00:11Arrgh!
00:14D'Urgh!
00:14D'Urgh!
00:25D'Urgh!
00:26D'Urgh!
00:29D'Urgh!
00:30D'Urgh!
00:31D'Urgh!
00:32D'Urgh!
00:32D'Urgh!
00:34D'Urgh!
00:35D'Urgh!
00:35Hello! I'm Doug Davis!
00:37Welcome, everybody, to the Taskmaster New Year's Treat!
00:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:44Yes, it's our once-a-year chance
00:47to turn our backs on the wretched army of comedians
00:50and shine the unforgiving light
00:52into the face of those famous for other things.
00:55Sure, these people have achieved success in their chosen field,
00:58but will they fare well at completing pointless tasks
01:01under the watchful eye of a lanky despot
01:03and his hairy snaggletooth boy servant?
01:06LAUGHTER
01:07D'Urgh!
01:08D'Urgh!
01:08D'Urgh!
01:09In the event of one of them being slightly better than the others,
01:12this is their prize!
01:15Ooooooh!
01:17Ooooooh!
01:18It's a golden pair of Daddy Big Fun's eyebrows!
01:22What bizarre combination of individuals have been strong-armed
01:27into the coliseum of nonsense this year, I hear you cry?
01:30I shall tell you, here they are.
01:32Please welcome Deborah Meadow!
01:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36Hoji Radical!
01:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:38Lenny Rash!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:41Steve Backshall!
01:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44And Zoe Moore!
01:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:48And next to me is a man who confided in me
01:50that his ritual for New Year is simple.
01:53On the 12th day, he takes down his Christmas decorations,
01:55and on the 13th day, he takes whatever awful gift
01:58his in-laws have bought him to a charity shop.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:02I don't know at all!
02:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:09Well, I've been a busy bee.
02:10Here we go.
02:10I've been so busy over the New Year period, Greg.
02:13Yep.
02:13You know how I like to write my letters?
02:15You love to write letters, don't you?
02:16Around 12 now.
02:17Genuinely, I have sent this.
02:18It goes, Cher Madame.
02:19They always start with Cher Madame.
02:21As you know, I work with a really special guy.
02:23Everyone loves this guy.
02:25And I'm sure, Madame, you'd love him too,
02:27and I think you should invite him to your extraordinary house.
02:30You'd need a lot of wax, sure, but I'm happy to help with that,
02:32so please let me know what else I can do
02:34to sort out a statue of Greg Davis at Madame Tussauds
02:36as soon as possible.
02:38LAUGHTER
02:38I've sent it to every department there, genuinely.
02:41General enquiries.
02:42LAUGHTER
02:43The press department.
02:44There's a section for bloggers and influencers.
02:46Yep.
02:46It's pretty tragic, isn't it?
02:49As far as Madame Tussauds are concerned,
02:50I've been getting someone to write in to request my own wax.
02:54I would visit so often.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:57This is your best ever banter section.
02:59Is it?
03:00LAUGHTER
03:00Imagine if it works.
03:01Imagine if it works.
03:05Let's get the new retreat started with the prize task.
03:08What's the category, Alex?
03:10It's this.
03:10The most fun thing to be carrying
03:13when you enter a room full of people you don't know.
03:15LAUGHTER
03:16You sometimes carry me into a room, don't you, Greg?
03:18Yeah.
03:18Like a sort of human briefcase.
03:20You put me down, open me up,
03:21and take out your laptop.
03:23LAUGHTER
03:24Five points for the one Greg thinks is the most fun,
03:27and the winner will take home all five things,
03:29plus those gorgeous golden eyebrows.
03:31OK, let us begin with Deborah Meaden.
03:34Hello.
03:34Hello.
03:35You may or may not remember, I do have beef with you.
03:38Oh.
03:39Deborah and I met on a show many, many years ago...
03:43..and in the bar afterwards I pitched an idea to her.
03:46LAUGHTER
03:46LAUGHTER
03:50I didn't think it would take 15 years to get my revenge, but...
03:54LAUGHTER
03:54Here we are, Deborah.
03:56LAUGHTER
03:57Here's a genuine idea, it's horizontal glass.
03:59When you're lying on a sofa and you're enjoying a drink,
04:02it's unfortunate that you have to sit up sometimes.
04:05So I invented this glass that's got like a straw comes out the bottom
04:08so that you don't have to move your chin.
04:10Horizontal glass.
04:11Horizontal glass.
04:12I'm in.
04:12Deborah said, were you serious?
04:14You thought that was a good idea.
04:15And I went, I actually do think it's a good idea.
04:18And she said, it's not.
04:20LAUGHTER
04:20LAUGHTER
04:22Anyway, let's get on with giving you one point.
04:25What have you...
04:25LAUGHTER
04:26What have you...
04:28LAUGHTER
04:29I have bought a bingo cage for calling bingo numbers on.
04:34Here it is.
04:35What a nice one.
04:36OK.
04:38There you go.
04:39I don't know whether it's fun, Deborah.
04:42You see you're laughing already, aren't you?
04:44I'm laughing, yes, because I'm imagining the awful silence as you walk up.
04:48LAUGHTER
04:48OK.
04:49So I used to, one of my early businesses, I had a prize bingo.
04:53And the one thing I learnt is that everybody loves a game of bingo.
04:57They don't.
04:59LAUGHTER
05:02Barium sulphate, 28.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:07Ah, you're a weird man.
05:09LAUGHTER
05:09Good.
05:10Koji, welcome.
05:11What have you bought us that would make things fun?
05:14A robot puppy.
05:15Here it is.
05:16Yeah, OK.
05:18So, the problem is, I don't know how many people are in the room
05:20and I wouldn't want anyone to go without, so six robot puppies
05:25doing a synchronised dance.
05:27Five, six, seven, eight!
05:29LAUGHTER
05:30Yeah.
05:32Yeah.
05:33That's Julie in the back.
05:35She's problematic, but I like her.
05:37They've all got names.
05:41LAUGHTER
05:42Yeah.
05:44Yeah.
05:44Yeah.
05:45Yeah.
05:49Are they yours?
05:51Yeah, I've been training them for the last two weeks.
05:54LAUGHTER
05:54He genuinely has.
05:56I mean, my mind's blown.
05:57Yeah.
05:58OK, Lenny, can you beat seven dancing robots?
06:01Six.
06:02Well, if it's six, I can.
06:06LAUGHTER
06:10Yeah.
06:12It's quite tricky, because obviously I'm the only kid here,
06:15and I sort of wanted to fit in somehow.
06:18So, I bought, er, beer and cigarettes.
06:22LAUGHTER
06:28So, this is what Lenny's caught in.
06:32LAUGHTER
06:32He walks into the room like that.
06:35And then, in actual fact, what's inside is this.
06:38Oh.
06:39And cigarettes.
06:42That's squash.
06:43There we go.
06:46APPLAUSE
06:49I cannot think of an event that wouldn't be made more fun
06:52by you turning up with a cigarette and beer.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:57OK, wonderful.
06:58Steve.
06:59I've got the most venomous animal in the world in a jar.
07:03Ooh.
07:03Someone's up the stakes.
07:05LAUGHTER
07:05What is it?
07:06It's called an Irukandji.
07:07It's a kind of box jellyfish, and they are the most venomous
07:10creature in the world, with the power to stop a human heart
07:12faster than any other animal.
07:14Keep it light, man.
07:15LAUGHTER
07:17There it is.
07:18Oh, it's tiny.
07:20Would it kill someone?
07:21They absolutely can, but the venom gives you an impending
07:24sense of doom, so you have this overwhelming sensation
07:27that the world is going to end once you've been stung by an Irukandji.
07:31Is it the sort of feeling that Deborah's feeling just before
07:33the points are given?
07:34LAUGHTER
07:36OK, Zoe.
07:37Erm, I have brought with me a one-man band,
07:40because I've always wanted one.
07:42Yep.
07:42And I thought it would be quite, you know...
07:45Good to put it on the budget.
07:46LAUGHTER
07:48Who would not want that?
07:51I don't know.
07:53Erm...
07:53I don't know whether I want Zoe Paul.
07:56Because...
07:56The knee could be banjo, and the thing going on the back,
08:01and then I wake up...
08:02Come on!
08:03LAUGHTER
08:04No, Zoe, I'm a big fan of your work,
08:07but I'm not going to find that fun.
08:09LAUGHTER
08:10I had one at my wedding.
08:11I like them.
08:12First dance.
08:13Yeah?
08:14LAUGHTER
08:16It's so weird!
08:17LAUGHTER
08:18Right, we need to know which is the least fun.
08:21Well, you know which is the least fun.
08:23LAUGHTER
08:23Deborah, you're off the mark with one point.
08:24Sorry, Deborah.
08:26Yours is tricky, Steve.
08:27Because I think it's a remarkable thing to take to a party,
08:30but I think most people would go,
08:32he's a psychopath!
08:35But is it more fun than Zoe Ball with a one-man band?
08:39LAUGHTER
08:39Yeah, it is more fun than that, yeah.
08:42Two points to Zoe, three points to Steve.
08:45OK, got it.
08:45Now we're up with the big guns.
08:48LAUGHTER
08:48I always knew it would come to this.
08:50LAUGHTER
08:52I can't separate them.
08:54Five points each.
08:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:01Right, it's Papa Tash time.
09:03What have you got, Alex?
09:04Well, Papa Greg, it's time for some Papa Doms.
09:07MUSIC PLAYS
09:21Ooh, food.
09:22Food and letters.
09:23Food, letters and a glass.
09:24Yes.
09:25Is this your sort of thing?
09:27Erm, Scrabble?
09:29Yeah.
09:30That's a coincidence, there's nothing like Scrabble.
09:32There's nothing like Scrabble?
09:33No.
09:34Do you use cloches a lot at home?
09:35No.
09:36Mum doesn't make milkshacks.
09:38She makes more like microwave meals and pot noodles.
09:40LAUGHTER
09:40Oh.
09:41I like something.
09:42What's under that?
09:43Oh.
09:45Ooh.
09:46Oh.
09:47Ooh!
09:48Are those Papa Doms?
09:49Maybe.
09:50I love a Papa Doms.
09:53I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?
09:55Eat these Papa Doms.
09:57Hurrah!
09:58Ooh.
09:59After each mouthful, you must use the letter of the alphabet
10:02from your vocabulary.
10:03Really?
10:04Then either compliment Greg or insult Alex.
10:07I don't want to insult you.
10:09I like to be insulted.
10:10Oh, you like to be insulted.
10:11OK.
10:12Your insults and compliments must all be different.
10:16If you use a loss letter at any time,
10:17ten grams will be added to your final Papa Doms weight.
10:21Most Papa Doms eat and wins.
10:24You have a maximum of ten minutes.
10:25Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle.
10:29Like, let's say if I got rid of eight, I can't say a word with eight in it.
10:32Mm-hm.
10:33What?
10:34This is...
10:35This is a travesty!
10:38APPLAUSE
10:44Are you all Papa Doms fans?
10:46Uh-uh.
10:46Not anymore.
10:47Oh.
10:48Good.
10:49Well, I hope you've got some insults.
10:50I wrote a few down, er, that you could have used.
10:53Wonky Tooth, Sesame Street character,
10:55Crybaby Longneck, Andy Murray look-alike.
10:57These are just a few.
10:58Hair-covered horse dong.
11:00These are just some of the...
11:01..that you could have had.
11:02Shall we crack on?
11:03Yes.
11:04Our first two number crunches are...
11:05Deborah Meaden and Steve Backshaw.
11:08So, mouthful, letter.
11:10Insult.
11:13WHISTLE BLOWS
11:20Alex, I don't like your shoes.
11:26After every mouthful, you must lose a letter.
11:28OK, that's not even a mouthful.
11:30No.
11:31I haven't swallowed yet.
11:33Right.
11:41Greg, you're my favourite comedian of all time.
11:44Zeddy's going in.
11:46Greg is a lovely man.
11:53Alex, that shirt needs a tie.
11:55I'm a serious businesswoman.
11:57I've heard that.
11:57I do deals every day.
11:59People take me very seriously.
12:05Greg, you are my perfect man.
12:08V.
12:08Alex is meaner than I thought.
12:12Wow.
12:14More.
12:17Is this how you do it in the restaurants, don't you?
12:23Alex, I never liked the horn section.
12:26Do you feel like they're coming quite naturally to you?
12:28Didn't have to work on that one.
12:32Mmm.
12:33Lovely.
12:34Lovely, you say.
12:35Did I say lovely?
12:36No.
12:39Happy with it.
12:40Water.
12:41Are these vegan?
12:43Alex, you will always be a sidekick.
12:46I seem to be enjoying it.
12:54Moron?
12:56Lovely.
12:57You said the B word.
13:01We're into the final one minute, 40 seconds.
13:04OK.
13:04OK.
13:07Is it over yet?
13:09It's not over.
13:1020 seconds.
13:13Um...
13:13Noobs.
13:17I only got a poppadom on one eyebrow.
13:23And that's your time up.
13:25Oh!
13:34Fine language is quite powerful of you, Steve, there.
13:36Just the thought of poppadoms now makes me wretch.
13:39Yeah, rightly.
13:41Um, your insults were deliciously specific to Alex,
13:44and I know for a fact actually hurt his feet.
13:47Yeah.
13:50I've never liked the horn section.
13:54It's absolutely delicious.
13:56Five and a half poppadoms he got through in ten minutes,
13:58which is fast.
13:59It was very impressive.
14:00Deborah, was your strategy just to eat all the poppadoms?
14:05It was, actually.
14:06Did Deborah do any compliments or...?
14:08She did.
14:09She said I was nice, I think.
14:10I mean, they both actually made quite a few mistakes, unfortunately.
14:13Oh.
14:13So every time you made a mistake, ten grams will be added to your total.
14:15You made 24 mistakes.
14:17I made 24 mistakes.
14:19Steve made 38.
14:20LAUGHTER
14:21If either of you had not even eaten anything,
14:23you would have done much better.
14:26Incredible.
14:27LAUGHTER
14:27All right.
14:27We're going to stop this treat for a few minutes.
14:29We'll see you back here shortly.
14:32APPLAUSE
14:40Hello!
14:42And welcome back to our New Year treat.
14:45What was happening before the break, please, Alex?
14:46We have a poppadom eating task in play, and so far Deborah and Steve
14:50forgot they weren't supposed to use the letters they'd removed
14:52from their vocabulary, and now for some more of the same,
14:55with Koji, Lenny and Zoe.
14:58Can I go get some water?
15:02First thing I'm going to do, please, sir, can I get a drink?
15:05You may.
15:05I'm going...
15:06I'm just checking.
15:09You absolute beauties!
15:11Still here, we're still here.
15:13Still smashing it up.
15:14There's something in...
15:16Is it sauces?
15:17Can I dip the...
15:18Oh!
15:20See, this is lovely.
15:25Now we couldn't do that.
15:28Yippee!
15:29I feel like one of those miniature monkeys.
15:31It's about to see a backflip.
15:33OK, OK.
15:35OK.
15:38We've lost the Z.
15:39And it says,
15:40With me?
15:42With me?
15:42Yeah.
15:44You're a mean man.
15:45Mm-hm.
15:46I didn't like your hoodie this morning.
15:48Really?
15:49Yeah.
15:54Alex.
15:55You're so hairy.
15:59New fingers.
16:01Wait.
16:03Question.
16:05It says, eat the poppadoms.
16:06Doesn't say who has to.
16:07Do you?
16:09Do you?
16:10Do you?
16:10Do you?
16:13Do you?
16:15Do you?
16:16Alex, you look so sweaty.
16:18Hairy and sweaty.
16:18Do you throw yourself out?
16:19Right.
16:20Oh, my God.
16:22Oh, my God.
16:24I'm losing sand on the roof.
16:26I feel like I'm losing...
16:28a lot of points.
16:33It smells good.
16:35Have you met him?
16:36In my head.
16:37It smells like Paco Rabanne.
16:43Mm-hm.
16:44Mm-hm.
16:45Mm-hm.
16:45Mm-hm.
16:47Mm-hm.
16:47Mm-hm.
16:47Sauce pot.
16:48You're calling Greg a sauce pot?
16:49Yeah.
16:49Mm-hm.
16:51Mm-hm.
16:52That's the thing.
16:58Pig.
17:02If there's one thing I've learned in my years of watching this show, Alex,
17:06is I know you'll put anything in your mouth.
17:09I plan to use that to my advantage today.
17:11Mm-hm.
17:14Mm-hm.
17:14Mm-hm.
17:16You can't spell any of my insults.
17:19Um...
17:20Gap.
17:21My taste?
17:22Yeah.
17:23I'm sorry.
17:24Bony knees.
17:26Melting, melting.
17:27I...
17:27I can't spell it.
17:29Can't spell melting.
17:32I feel sick.
17:34Well, I feel quite hurt.
17:42I think this is your problem in the context of this stupid show, Zoe.
17:45You're too nice.
17:47Do you want me to help you?
17:48I'll write an insult back for you to say to Alex.
17:51OK.
17:51I think it's just training, just to bring out your dark side.
17:56LAUGHTER
17:58Hi, Zoe.
17:59You wank flap.
18:00There, see?
18:02APPLAUSE
18:02That was crazy, isn't it?
18:04APPLAUSE
18:04Thank you for that.
18:08Apologies to Lenny's parents.
18:11I hear a lot worse from my mum, shall I?
18:14LAUGHTER
18:16LAUGHTER
18:16Lenny, you did throw a few nice insults.
18:18And when you said pig...
18:21LAUGHTER
18:21LAUGHTER
18:22We didn't include all your compliments.
18:24There were some pretty good ones to you.
18:25Lovely hair, wonderful posture, perfect, hot, fab, fit, muscle.
18:29LAUGHTER
18:31You know it.
18:33Koji, I felt that the moment you discovered the dipping sauces...
18:37Mm-hm.
18:37..that you lost total interest in this task...
18:40LAUGHTER
18:41..I feel you were just there for a meal.
18:44LAUGHTER
18:44To be fair, I've always wanted to feed things to Alex.
18:47So much so, that I had the moment...
18:50Oh!
18:50..commemorated into a T-shirt.
18:51No.
18:53LAUGHTER
18:55APPLAUSE
18:59Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:00So, in the end, eating the propaganda was kind of irrelevant.
19:03It was all about how many mistakes they made.
19:04We knew Deborah, 24.
19:06Actually, the least mistakes, Deborah.
19:07Compared to 38 for Steve, 56 for Zoe, 85 by you, Lenny,
19:12and 131 mistakes.
19:15I think that's magnificent.
19:17Koji produced 97 poppadoms.
19:20She comes in last place.
19:21You get one point.
19:22Lenny produced 64.
19:24Zoe, 41.
19:25Steve, 24.
19:26Deborah only produced 15 poppadoms in the end.
19:29So, she gets five points.
19:30There it is!
19:31Here we go.
19:34Can we have a look at a lovely big scoreboard, Alex?
19:36All right, it's close.
19:38We have two people in joint third and two people in joint first,
19:40and that's Lenny and Steve.
19:43APPLAUSE
19:47On the go.
19:49OK.
19:49And just like the time you caught me drawing you in the shower,
19:52this one involves an awkward portrait.
20:07It makes me feel important.
20:09You are important, Steve.
20:10Not used to seeing my name in lights.
20:12Well, I've got quite a serious question to ask you, Lenny.
20:15All right.
20:16Can I ask you a, well, quite a personal question, Deborah?
20:18You can.
20:18I might not answer it.
20:19How long does it take you to eat an orange?
20:22How long does it take you to eat an orange?
20:25Erm...
20:25Might want to give myself a bit of extra time,
20:27considering where I am, what kind of show this is.
20:29This isn't part of the...
20:30This is just a general...
20:31I don't believe you, Alex.
20:34I'm going to go for three minutes.
20:37Three minutes.
20:39Ten minutes?
20:40Ten minutes.
20:40Four minutes and 45 seconds.
20:44Is that your final answer?
20:46Six minutes and 23 seconds.
20:50OK.
20:51Er, I reckon I could do an orange in about 45 seconds.
20:55That's pretty cool.
20:56It's one of my special talents.
20:57OK.
20:58You can open the task now.
20:59OK.
21:00Draw a picture of yourself eating some fruit on this tablet.
21:04You may not touch the touch screen with any part of your hands.
21:09You have as long as it takes you to eat an orange.
21:15On reflection, I reckon it could take me over an hour.
21:20Also, throughout the task, you must become increasingly angry.
21:24Your time starts now.
21:27Are you going to keep shouting times at me?
21:29Yeah, I'll make sure you get angry.
21:31Yeah.
21:31Don't worry about that.
21:32Oh, that's going to be easy.
21:36APPLAUSE
21:39I'm intrigued by steamed orange-eating arrogance.
21:42I honestly thought that I was being challenged as to how fast
21:45I could eat an orange.
21:46But it felt to me like you've timed yourself eating oranges.
21:49Like it was something I've done in the past and gone, yeah.
21:51Have you?
21:52No.
21:55Deborah has this amazing ability, in any situation,
21:59to seem like she's in charge.
22:00It's quite a skill.
22:02And he doesn't like it.
22:02He doesn't like strong women.
22:04OK.
22:07Right.
22:08Let's have a look.
22:09OK.
22:10Do you want me to show you all of them creating at once?
22:12Yeah, man.
22:13Here we go.
22:14What makes, um...
22:16What makes something move on here?
22:18Not that.
22:20The time starts now.
22:25Oh, wow!
22:26I can do it with my nose.
22:27There's a banana here.
22:28Bananas are like...
22:29Fingers.
22:31It's gone blank.
22:33Hmm.
22:34Oh, now you're your hands.
22:36I think I might have to shut my eyes, though, so it's...
22:38Oh, OK.
22:39Oh, I've got to get angry as well.
22:40It's a terrible drawing and I hate it.
22:43Shoulders.
22:43Your anger just starts creeping in the sea.
22:46Shoulders!
22:48I don't like that.
22:50You standing over my shoulder going...
22:52Mm-hmm.
22:54Dreading my excessive confidence with orange eating.
22:58Yeah, you've got six seconds left, Steve.
23:00Grr!
23:00This is...
23:01hard work.
23:04It's not straight.
23:05It's not straight.
23:07I was about to get really angry.
23:09Ah!
23:10Oh, well.
23:12I look like King Kardashian or something.
23:14I've got massive lips.
23:15Is that OK?
23:17Is that OK?
23:18Yeah, that's OK.
23:18Good.
23:19Good.
23:20A minute left.
23:20Is it clinking rude to invite people onto Taskmaster?
23:24I'm going to go back with a big red nose.
23:26I cannot tell you how irritating it is.
23:28Rubbing my nose against...
23:29I don't know where that came from.
23:31I have no idea where that came from.
23:33Ah!
23:34Ah!
23:34I'm telling you nothing.
23:35Do you know what?
23:36Because he's so angry, laser beam.
23:38Pew, pew, pew, pew!
23:40It seems like you're getting less angry.
23:42Errr!
23:44And, er, I could be doing better things in my time right now.
23:48Darn it!
23:49You pesky horn.
23:52Erm...
23:52Can I end on a happy note?
23:53Because I'm actually quite pleased with my picture.
23:56Darn it!
23:57That was so loud!
23:58OOF!
24:00OOF!
24:05I was just feeling guilty about characterising you
24:08as just perennially cheerful all the time.
24:10And then I watched a video of you going,
24:12GRRRR!
24:15There was lots of out-ladies attempt that I enjoyed,
24:17but there's just a still of you that I asked Alex for
24:20while we were watching, of you two.
24:22Mm.
24:22And I just think it's so funny,
24:24if you take it out of the context of this show,
24:26if you just saw this,
24:28what the hell would you think was going on?
24:36I mean, someone's going to get arrested off the back of this.
24:38It is indeed!
24:39It is indeed!
24:41OK, let's see some stuff.
24:43OK, well, he only had 45 seconds,
24:46but Steve managed to paint this with his nose.
24:55I mean, in 45 seconds,
24:58that you took the time to give yourself a six pass.
25:01It is incredible!
25:02And a really smug smile as well.
25:05Isn't that supposed to be eating fruit?
25:07There's supposed to be fruit in the picture, yeah,
25:08that was the only thing missing.
25:09Unless you can claim any of that as fruit.
25:11Blueberries?
25:14It's not bad in 45 seconds, do you? Fair play.
25:17Let's have a look at Zoe Ball's picture.
25:19Here we go.
25:24It was spectacular!
25:26Oh, my God!
25:28So disturbing!
25:29What are you putting in your mouth?
25:30It's watermelon, Steve!
25:32It's watermelon!
25:34Look, it's got pips in it!
25:35Why have you aged yourself by 60 years?
25:38I was really proud of that!
25:41Don't take it from me!
25:42It's good!
25:43Lovely melon!
25:45What?
25:45Let's stop for a bit.
25:46Alex, do you want to throw for the ads?
25:48OK.
26:00Hello!
26:01Welcome back.
26:02It might be cold outside,
26:04but Taskmaster will keep you warm.
26:05Warmed by the red-hot heat of old grandfather Task.
26:09LAUGHTER
26:11Before the break...
26:13Before the break,
26:14the Famous Five were making self-portraits on an iPad
26:16without using their hands.
26:18So, let's see some more results,
26:19starting with Koji's radical picture.
26:23Ooh!
26:24Oh!
26:25Good!
26:25You can see the laser beams if you look closely.
26:28That's a strawberry.
26:29I mean a strawberry.
26:29And in your mind, the character jumped into the air
26:32and his legs fell off, or...?
26:34LAUGHTER
26:35I was like, it's a self-portrait,
26:37and I was sitting at a table,
26:38so the rest of my legs are under the table,
26:41but it's, erm, abstract.
26:44LAUGHTER
26:45Next up, I'm going to show you Lenny's rushed self-portrait.
26:49LAUGHTER
26:50Kim Kardashian with a banana.
26:52I've changed to a pear, but obviously,
26:54I'm quite small, so the pear is very...
26:56Like, that's actually what a pear is like to me.
26:59LAUGHTER
27:02Very clever.
27:03LAUGHTER
27:06Who's next?
27:06Er, the final one.
27:08Fresh from the dragon's pen,
27:09here is Deborah's masterpiece.
27:11Here we go.
27:14LAUGHTER
27:18Well, I went abstract too.
27:21Is it you eating fruit but being watched from a bird hide?
27:26LAUGHTER
27:26Right at the very end,
27:27she managed to press a button with her nose
27:28that created quite a big black layer over the top,
27:32but we have managed to take that layer off,
27:34because you were eating a banana in the picture, you claimed.
27:37And this is what you did before covering it up.
27:40LAUGHTER
27:41LAUGHTER
27:42Much better.
27:43Much, much better.
27:45LAUGHTER
27:51Oh dear, he's up.
27:54What's this?
27:56LAUGHTER
27:57I don't know.
27:58My tongue.
27:59I have a very long tongue.
28:01LAUGHTER
28:01You've got a long tongue.
28:02I've got a long tongue.
28:03I've got a long tongue.
28:04I'll show you later.
28:05Say later!
28:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:11Oh dear.
28:14All right, Greg, I'm going to show you all five.
28:16I mean, it's obviously Deborah's that's the worst.
28:18LAUGHTER
28:19Just because it doesn't look remotely like you, Deborah,
28:22or a person...
28:23LAUGHTER
28:24..or someone eating fruit.
28:26So one point to Deborah.
28:27We'll give Steve two points,
28:29because there's no visible fruit there.
28:32Sorry, Lenny, I think I'm going to give you three points.
28:34I like Granny Ball,
28:35even though Zoe did seemingly draw it while she was on a trampoline.
28:40LAUGHTER
28:40And then, of course,
28:42Koji's masterpiece takes the five points.
28:44There you go.
28:44APPLAUSE
28:46Two, four, five.
28:50Please can I see one more task?
28:53LAUGHTER
29:09Alex?
29:10Koji?
29:11In there.
29:11Please enter the space ball.
29:13Hello.
29:13Please enter the oxygen chamber.
29:15The oxygen chamber?
29:16Maybe.
29:17Thunderdome?
29:18Thunderdome, sorry, yes.
29:19Thunderdome.
29:20Sorry, Deborah.
29:20Right.
29:21Oh!
29:22There's a task within a task.
29:24Hang on a minute.
29:25It's a pop-up task!
29:27Oh!
29:28Of course!
29:29Right.
29:29You're taking a piss.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:32This is doing nothing for my trust issues!
29:35Make these things pop when the timer hits zero.
29:39Make these things pop when the timer hits zero.
29:42Toast.
29:43Popper.
29:44Monster.
29:45Jack.
29:46Gum.
29:47Feeder.
29:48Cuckoo.
29:49Bubble.
29:50And balloon.
29:51Missing a balloon.
29:53Oh!
29:54Shortest time between first and last pop wins.
29:58Yeah, 15 minutes.
30:00And your time starts now.
30:03And it has to pop at 15 minutes.
30:05Uh-huh, everything.
30:06There are nine things there, Koji.
30:08So you're aiming for them all to pop in 15 minutes' time?
30:11Yeah.
30:11At the same time, ideally.
30:12Oh, so have I got a test?
30:14You can do as much testing as you want.
30:15Oh, oh, I see.
30:16Yeah.
30:16But you've only got those pieces of bread.
30:17And only one balloon.
30:22Huh?
30:30Do you want to explain the rules now?
30:32Yes, Koji.
30:33So...
30:34It is slightly complicated.
30:36I've done a little graphic for you.
30:37There are 15 minutes until the clock hits zero.
30:41They want all their pops to happen at the same time as that.
30:45The closer the pops are together, around the clock hitting zero,
30:48the better.
30:49Let's begin.
30:49Here is Lenny, Stevie and someone who doesn't like being called Debbie.
30:53Here we go.
30:58I think the first thing I want to try is the toast.
31:01I don't actually know how toasters work.
31:05So you're pre-toasting the toast, are you?
31:07Yes.
31:08OK.
31:08And then it's going to be toasty toast.
31:10I think it's speech operated.
31:12I have to talk to the toaster?
31:15Go down.
31:20It's not.
31:20Oh, no.
31:22No, I'm not sure it is actually.
31:26I'll just take...
31:28Oh, that's a really quick one.
31:33I don't like these.
31:38Oh, God, I don't like you.
31:39I need to wind that with one hand.
31:43Maybe I should take that down.
31:45Actually, can you just do that?
31:46Oh, look, look, look, I can just do that.
31:48OK, how many hands have I got?
31:50OK.
31:52Three minutes and counting.
31:54How does this pop?
31:56That's a cat feeder, Lenny.
31:57Oh.
31:58So I thought they were minutes.
32:00No.
32:00They're not minutes.
32:01It's hours, isn't it?
32:02If I give it the smallest...
32:04Oh!
32:05Oh!
32:06That's OK.
32:08Oh!
32:09Oh, wow!
32:10That's dramatic.
32:14Oh, I forgot to chew bubble gum.
32:17To turn it into a bubble?
32:19Yeah.
32:20Put it all in, have you?
32:21All in one go.
32:22Yeah.
32:23Go home, go home.
32:25That's good.
32:26OK, that's good.
32:27Go.
32:27Where's the balloon happening?
32:37Ah!
32:38It's there!
32:39OK, so I don't want to pop that yet.
32:42Can you let me know when there's ten seconds left?
32:44So you're doing everything in the last ten seconds.
32:46I like it.
32:46Yes.
32:48OK, toast is going down.
32:49That's both one down.
32:50The next pops are the real pops.
32:52Is that right?
32:52That's right.
32:5630 seconds.
32:57I can do this.
33:0225 seconds.
33:04The pencil's killing me.
33:08I can go down there.
33:10Ten seconds.
33:19Um...
33:25Oh!
33:26Oh, don't!
33:29Oh!
33:43Yay!
33:44Amazing!
33:48Oh, my God.
33:49My heads are so sleepy.
33:52Am I doing the right thing?
33:54Oh, that popped.
33:55That popped.
33:56One more thing hasn't popped yet.
33:57Well, it hasn't popped.
33:58That popped.
33:59That's popped.
34:00What's not popped?
34:03You've done everything, Lenny.
34:05What's not popped?
34:06Cuckoo feeder.
34:07Feeder.
34:08Bat.
34:09Bat!
34:11Correct.
34:13Is that it?
34:14You may leave.
34:15You may need to chew bubblegum.
34:17My mother is going to be so cross with you.
34:25I mean, Steve just seems like he's a professional popper.
34:29I've had an advantage in that I've used a toaster before.
34:38Yeah, Zabra, do you sometimes think, with all of your success, you may have lost Touchless?
34:44That's...
34:44We have an Arga.
34:46That's not going to help.
34:46In my defence.
34:48I didn't know you couldn't talk to toasters.
34:50You can't talk to toasters.
34:53I mean, it's a good job this isn't the sort of show that would replay that moment so that it
34:58haunts you forever.
35:00This one?
35:01Yeah.
35:02Go down.
35:04LAUGHTER
35:11Lenny, I mean, you were really good as well, I thought.
35:14But the thing that intrigued me is you didn't know what was inside that cat feeder,
35:19and the moment you saw what was inside it, you started eating.
35:23I'm like a little gremlin, aren't I?
35:27Good.
35:27I want some times.
35:28I mean, obviously Steve was the fastest of the three.
35:31His window was just 18 seconds to pop all nine things.
35:34Oh.
35:34Lenny and Debra were very similar with their times.
35:36Unfortunately for Debra, she didn't spot the feeder.
35:39So Lenny took 50 seconds altogether, Debra 72, which is not bad.
35:42And you think that not seeing the feeder is going to be the thing that Debra regrets most about that
35:47cat?
35:48Go down.
35:53Just one part to go.
35:55Who will take home some candy sticks and squash and some enormous golden eyebrows?
35:59You'll find out very soon.
36:05APPLAUSE
36:09Well, welcome back to the final part of the show where another New Year treat is almost over.
36:15Yes.
36:16And I suppose that also means we're all that little bit closer to the end of our lives.
36:21Before the break, the cast were trying to synchronise their nine items to pop as close to zero as possible.
36:27That's the task.
36:27So, obviously, you're going to start as close to zero as possible.
36:31I mean, who wouldn't?
36:33Who wouldn't start as close to zero as possible?
36:36LAUGHTER
36:36It's Koji and Zoe.
36:39OK, so you just want to set the clock.
36:41Ah!
36:42No!
36:44It's not...
36:45Very sweet.
36:45Very sweet.
36:47That's 15.
36:48That's not doing anything.
36:49That's...
36:50Shit.
36:52OK, so that's...
36:53Oh!
36:53No, it's in the twitch!
36:55There's three pieces of bubblegum there.
36:57Alex, please.
37:00OK, yeah.
37:01Why do they always make you jump?
37:03That's not happening, is it?
37:04I've never been able to blow a bubble since I've ever.
37:06Spit it out.
37:07Spit it out of me.
37:08It's sick of me.
37:08How long have I got left?
37:10Six minutes, 20.
37:11Six minutes.
37:12So, if I put that on...
37:13Six minutes and a bit.
37:18What do you want?
37:20And then you could do...
37:23Well...
37:23The balloon as well.
37:25I've got too many things to press, Alex.
37:27No, I see the problems.
37:29So, the plan is just...
37:31It's like a drum solo.
37:35I can't wait.
37:39Mm-hmm.
37:40This is still stuck on six.
37:41It's going to feed the cat in six hours?
37:43Yeah!
37:44Right!
37:44Hang on, no!
37:48Something's going.
37:49Oh, shit!
37:51Still getting bigger?
37:52Uh-huh.
37:53OK, cool.
37:54That's gone.
37:55That's the first pot.
37:56First pot.
37:57Yeah.
37:57How much time have I got left on the thing?
37:58Well, three minutes.
37:59One minute to go.
38:01OK, let's just go.
38:02Let's try for at least...
38:03Ah!
38:04Ah!
38:05Ah!
38:06One!
38:07Two!
38:08No, at the same time.
38:10Yay!
38:12He just came straight out.
38:14I don't know what I've got.
38:15Oh, toast.
38:16I don't know what I've got there.
38:17Is it toast?
38:18That's toast.
38:19That could never be bread.
38:21Put this back in the bag.
38:22People think you're a nutter.
38:23Toast.
38:24All right.
38:27That's a wet fart.
38:29Disgusting.
38:34Lovely.
38:40A, B, C, D, L, M and P, QRS, straight to the TVV, W, X, Y and Z.
38:46Now I know my ABCs.
38:49Everything has popped.
38:50Ah, except my career.
38:52Thanks, Zoe.
38:54You can take them with you if you want.
38:55Take my toast.
38:56That's all I have.
38:58I have no dignity left, but I have two pieces of toast.
39:02Oh!
39:04Oh!
39:06Oh!
39:13Well, I thought in the build-up to it, you looked like you had it all under control.
39:16Yeah, I made a list.
39:18I tried to back-time it.
39:19Made a list.
39:19And then, well, what I've written down is, when Zoe's attempt started, it looked like a woman falling down some
39:25stairs.
39:30Oh, dear.
39:31It was good toast, though.
39:32It was good toast.
39:33It was good toast.
39:33I did so bad, I just...
39:35Well, I don't know what happened there, Coachy, but you told the cat feeder it was shit.
39:40You said that Alex sickened you, and you appeared to have beef with a mechanical cuckoo.
39:44LAUGHTER
39:46I've got a lot done.
39:48LAUGHTER
39:49I mean, you wrote a song as well.
39:51That's got to be worth saying.
39:52Yeah, no, not point-wise.
39:53Definitely not.
39:55OK, well, we know that, so far, Deborah's in third with 72.
39:58Neither of you two did better than that, of course.
40:01Koji, your window was 3 minutes 31.
40:03Zoe, the cat feeder, finally went off 24 minutes after the film.
40:07LAUGHTER
40:07So, a single point to Zoe, two to Koji, three to Deborah, four to Lenny,
40:12but five to Steve Batchel.
40:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:17That meant Steve is joint first with Lenny on 14 points.
40:20Wow.
40:21It's OK.
40:23Only one should win.
40:25OK, everyone, just one more thing to do.
40:28Please stay where you are...
40:30Ooh.
40:31..while Alex and I make our way to the stage for the final task of the show.
40:35Ooh!
40:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:43Do you want to follow me, lad?
40:45Who will be reading the task out?
40:47Deborah Meaden, please.
40:49OK.
40:50Say whether the item will fit through the hole or not fit through the hole.
40:55If you get it right, you lose an egg and the fewest eggs remaining wins.
41:00OK.
41:00OK.
41:01Mm-hm.
41:01Any questions?
41:03No.
41:04LAUGHTER
41:06Greg, shall we head over to the first item?
41:08Together.
41:11LAUGHTER
41:13Here we are.
41:14That's not going to help those rumours on the internet.
41:17LAUGHTER
41:17Shall I present?
41:21Will the duck bring them luck?
41:24LAUGHTER
41:25Well, it's good.
41:26We've got two yeses and three noes.
41:28It's time to thrust.
41:30LAUGHTER
41:32LAUGHTER
41:37And we need two correct answers.
41:40Discard your eggs, koji and lemon.
41:43LAUGHTER
41:43Second item, it's a triangular hole.
41:45But what's the item?
41:51Will the pan?
41:52Yes, it can.
41:53Or not?
41:54LAUGHTER
41:55One yes.
41:56Two noes.
41:57Another yes.
41:58Another yes.
41:59Another yes.
41:59It's time to thrust.
42:03Oh!
42:05Sideways.
42:07Oh!
42:08Oh!
42:08Hooray!
42:10CHEERING
42:10CHEERING
42:11Woo-hoo!
42:12Oh, no!
42:13That's right.
42:16Can Zoe Ball just hit someone with an egg?
42:18Sorry, sorry.
42:19I'm sorry.
42:20Jesus Christ, Zoe Ball's gone into full meltdown.
42:23They've all lost one egg, Greg.
42:25Ooh!
42:26Ooh!
42:28Will the cone find its way home?
42:31LAUGHTER
42:40It genuinely won't go through.
42:41Won't go through.
42:42You can all discard an egg.
42:43Well done.
42:47Watermelon.
42:48Ooh!
42:49Will the melon be a hero or felon?
42:52LAUGHTER
42:54Five noes.
42:55Thrust.
42:57Ooh!
42:59Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:02Oh!
43:02It's a squeezy melon!
43:04It's a...
43:07You know what?
43:09Yeah?
43:10Goji's cross.
43:11I'm not sure he's as cross as laddie, you know?
43:14LAUGHTER
43:15Lovely window.
43:16What's behind it?
43:17Ooh!
43:19Ooh!
43:19Ooh!
43:20Ooh!
43:22Give it a squish.
43:25See you at the BAFTAs.
43:27LAUGHTER
43:28There we go.
43:29No, no, no, no, no.
43:30Yes for ball.
43:31Ball on ball.
43:31Will it go through?
43:32Ooh!
43:36Ooh!
43:37Ooh!
43:38Ooh!
43:38Everyone but Zoe can discard an egg.
43:42Ooh!
43:42Ooh!
43:43Ooh!
43:43Ooh!
43:43Ooh!
43:44Ooh!
43:47Ooh!
43:52Ooh!
43:53Ooh!
43:54I'm working for you!
43:56I'm working for you!
43:58CHEERING
43:58OK.
44:03Will the balloon be coming soon?
44:06Ooh!
44:07Ooh, now then.
44:07Four no's and one yes for Koji Radical.
44:10Ooh!
44:10Ooh!
44:11Ooh!
44:14Ooh!
44:14Ooh!
44:15Ooh!
44:16Oh!
44:17You're too rough, William Grace!
44:21Everyone but Koji may discard an egg.
44:23OK, it's the chair-shaped hole,
44:25but what's he going to be putting through it?
44:27Oh, I wonder.
44:29It's actually all the chairs there.
44:33Radical says...
44:34No.
44:36Oh!
44:39It's nearly there!
44:41Will it go?
44:42No!
44:43Yes!
44:43Yes!
44:46That's not supposed to!
44:50Only Steve and Zoe got that one right.
44:52Probably a little worrying I'm out of breath, isn't it?
44:55So, now, everyone look at this little hole here.
44:58Come back, come back!
45:01What are we going to be poking through that hole?
45:03Ooh!
45:05But for who?
45:08Will that be good or will it be folly?
45:10Let's see where they thrust the brolly.
45:15Only Lenny has gone for no.
45:17Oh, no.
45:18Ooh!
45:21Ooh!
45:26Ooh!
45:26Shove it!
45:27No!
45:28It's a no!
45:29Ooh!
45:29Ooh!
45:33Ooh!
45:34Lenny and Steve, neck and neck, four eggs left each.
45:36Koji, heartbroken.
45:39What's the final one?
45:40Well, you can pick up the final item if you want.
45:42Ooh!
45:44Ooh!
45:45Ooh!
45:46Ooh!
45:48Will little Alex Horne be reborn?
45:51LAUGHTER
45:53You can make it.
45:55We have four yeses, one no.
45:58Ooh!
45:59Ooh!
46:02Ooh!
46:02Ooh!
46:03Ooh!
46:06Ooh!
46:08Ooh!
46:09Ooh!
46:14It did not fit through.
46:18Good.
46:19We'll add that to the final scores and see what's happened.
46:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:28Well, well, well.
46:30So, Koji, I'm afraid you got the fewest answers right.
46:33You had the most eggs at the end, so you get one point.
46:35Aww.
46:36Let's just enjoy Koji's face for a bit.
46:39LAUGHTER
46:40In joint third in that round, Deborah and Zoe both got half of them right,
46:45five, which means they get three points each.
46:47In second place, six correct answers were Steve,
46:49but Lenny got seven, so he gets five points.
46:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:54And so...
46:56And so the final scores look a little bit like this.
47:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:01And Lenny Rush wins!
47:06A New Year's treat!
47:08Please head up to the stage and then lift a lot your golden eyebrows!
47:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:17Have yourselves a brilliant year and we'll see you again very soon.
47:21For now, here's the winner of this special night.
47:23It's Lenny!
47:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:46APPLAUSEatamente!
47:53Justineemente
47:55Thank you!
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