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Taskmaster's New Year Treat 2024 [Full Movie] [Latest Version]Full EP - Full
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00:01D'Urgh!
00:07D'Urgh!
00:11Arrgh!
00:14D'Urgh!
00:14D'Urgh!
00:25D'Urgh!
00:26D'Urgh!
00:29D'Urgh!
00:30D'Urgh!
00:31D'Urgh!
00:32D'Urgh!
00:32D'Urgh!
00:34D'Urgh!
00:35D'Urgh!
00:35Hello! I'm Doug Davis!
00:37Welcome, everybody, to the Taskmaster New Year's treat!
00:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:44Yes, it's our once-a-year chance
00:47to turn our backs on the wretched army of comedians
00:50and shine the unforgiving light
00:52into the face of those famous for other things.
00:55Sure, these people have achieved success in their chosen field,
00:58but will they fare well at completing pointless tasks
01:01under the watchful eye of a lanky despot
01:03and his hairy snaggletooth boy servant?
01:05LAUGHTER
01:07D'Urgh!
01:08D'Urgh!
01:09In the event of one of them being slightly better than the others,
01:12this is their prize!
01:15Ooh!
01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:18It's a golden pair of Daddy Big Fun's eyebrows!
01:22LAUGHTER
01:22What bizarre combination of individuals have been strong-armed
01:27into the coliseum of nonsense this year, I hear you cry?
01:30I shall tell you, here they are.
01:32Please welcome Deborah Meadow!
01:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36Hoji Radical!
01:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:38Lenny Rash!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:41Steve Backshall!
01:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44And Zoe Moore!
01:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:48And next to me is a man who confided in me
01:50that his ritual for New Year is simple.
01:53On the 12th day, he takes down his Christmas decorations,
01:55and on the 13th day, he takes whatever awful gift
01:58his in-laws have brought him to a charity shop.
02:01LAUGHTER
02:02I don't know at all!
02:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:09Well, I've been a busy bee.
02:10Here we go.
02:10I've been so busy over the New Year period, Greg.
02:13Yep.
02:13You know how I like to write my letters?
02:15You love to write letters, don't you?
02:16I wrote 12 now.
02:17Genuinely, I have sent this.
02:18It goes, Cher Madame.
02:19They always start with Cher Madame.
02:21As you know, I work with a really special guy.
02:23Everyone loves this guy.
02:25And I'm sure, Madame, you'd love him too,
02:27and I think you should invite him to your extraordinary hat.
02:30You'd need a lot of wax, sure, but I'm happy to help with that,
02:32so please let me know what else I can do
02:34to sort out a statue of Greg Davis at Madame Tussauds
02:36as soon as possible.
02:38LAUGHTER
02:39I've sent it to every department there, genuinely.
02:41General enquiries.
02:42LAUGHTER
02:43The press department.
02:44There's a section for bloggers and influencers.
02:46Yeah.
02:46It's pretty tragic, isn't it?
02:48As far as Madame Tussauds are concerned,
02:50I've been getting someone to write in to request my own wax.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:54I would visit so often.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:57This is your best ever bunter section.
02:59Is it?
03:00LAUGHTER
03:00Imagine if it works.
03:01Imagine if it works.
03:05Right, let's get the new year treat started with the prize task.
03:08What's the category, Alex?
03:10It's this.
03:11The most fun thing to be carrying
03:13when you enter a room full of people you don't know.
03:16Ooh!
03:17You sometimes carry me into a room, don't you, Greg?
03:18Yeah.
03:18Like this sort of human briefcase.
03:20You pop me down, open me up,
03:21and take out your laptop.
03:23LAUGHTER
03:24Five points for the one Greg thinks
03:26is the most fun,
03:27and the winner will take home all five things,
03:29plus those gorgeous golden eyebrows.
03:31OK, let us begin with Deborah Meaden.
03:34Hello.
03:34Hello.
03:35You may or may not remember, I do have beef with you.
03:38Oh.
03:39Deborah and I met on a show many, many years ago.
03:43And in the bar afterwards, I pitched an idea to her.
03:50I didn't think it would take 15 years to get my revenge,
03:53but here we are, Deborah.
03:56It is a genuine idea, it's horizontal glass.
03:59When you're lying on a sofa and you're enjoying a drink,
04:02it's unfortunate that you have to sit up sometimes.
04:05So I invented this glass that's got like a straw comes out the bottom
04:08so that you don't have to move your chin.
04:10Horizontic glass?
04:11Horizontic glass.
04:12I'm in.
04:12Deborah said, were you serious you thought that was a good idea?
04:15And I went, I actually do think it's a good idea.
04:18And she said, it's not.
04:20LAUGHTER
04:22Anyway, let's get on with giving you one point.
04:25What have you...
04:26What have you...
04:29I have bought a bingo cage for calling bingo numbers on.
04:34Here it is.
04:34What a nice one.
04:36OK.
04:38LAUGHTER
04:38I don't know whether it's fun, Deborah.
04:42You see you're laughing already, aren't you?
04:44I'm laughing, yes, because I'm imagining the awful silence as you walk in.
04:49OK.
04:49So I used to, one of my early businesses, I had a prize bingo.
04:53And the one thing I learnt is that everybody loves a game of bingo.
04:57They don't.
04:59LAUGHTER
05:02Barium sulphate, 28.
05:07Ah, you're a weird man.
05:09Good.
05:10Welcome.
05:11What have you bought us that would make things fun?
05:14A robot puppy.
05:15Here it is.
05:16Yeah, OK.
05:18So, the problem is, I don't know how many people are in the room
05:20and I wouldn't want anyone to go without.
05:22So, six robot puppies doing a synchronised dance.
05:27Five, six, seven, eight!
05:29LAUGHTER
05:31LAUGHTER
05:32Yeah, that's Julie in the back.
05:35She's problematic, but I like her.
05:38They've all got names.
05:41APPLAUSE
05:42Yeah.
05:49Are they yours?
05:51Yeah, I've been training them for the last two weeks.
05:54LAUGHTER
05:54He genuinely has.
05:56I mean, my mind's blown.
05:57Yeah.
05:58OK, Lenny, can you beat seven dancing robot dogs?
06:01Six.
06:03No, if it's six, I can.
06:06LAUGHTER
06:10You?
06:12Erm, it's quite tricky, because obviously I'm the only kid here, and I sort of wanted to fit in somehow.
06:18So, I bought, er, beer and cigarettes.
06:21LAUGHTER
06:28So, this is what Lenny caught in.
06:32LAUGHTER
06:32He walked into the room like that.
06:35And then, in actual fact, what's inside is this.
06:39And cigarettes.
06:42That's squash.
06:43LAUGHTER
06:49I cannot think of an event that wouldn't be made more fun by you turning up with a cigarette and
06:55beer.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:56OK, wonderful.
06:58Steve.
06:59I've got the most venomous animal in the world in a jar.
07:02Someone's up the stakes.
07:05What is it?
07:06It's called an Irukandji.
07:07It's a kind of box jellyfish.
07:09And they are the most venomous creature in the world, with the power to stop a human heart faster than
07:13any other animal.
07:14Keep it light, man.
07:17LAUGHTER
07:18There it is.
07:18Oh, it's tiny.
07:20Would it kill someone?
07:21They absolutely can, but the venom gives you an impending sense of doom.
07:25So, you have this overwhelming sensation that the world is going to end once you've been stung by an Irukandji.
07:31It's the sort of feeling that Deborah's feeling just before the points are given.
07:34LAUGHTER
07:36OK, Zoe.
07:37Erm, I have brought with me a one-man band, because I've always wanted one.
07:42Yep.
07:43And I thought it would be quite, you know...
07:45Good to put it on the budget.
07:46LAUGHTER
07:48Who would not want that?
07:51I don't know.
07:53I don't know whether I want Zoe Paul.
07:56LAUGHTER
07:56The knee could be banjo and the thing going on the back and then I want to work.
08:02LAUGHTER
08:05No, Zoe, I'm a big fan of your work, but I'm not going to find that fun.
08:10I had one at my wedding, I like them.
08:12First dance.
08:13Yeah?
08:14LAUGHTER
08:16It's so weird.
08:18Right, we need to know which is the least fun.
08:21Well, you know which is the least fun.
08:23Deborah, you're off the mark with one point.
08:24Sorry, Deborah.
08:26Yours is tricky, Steve, cos I think it's a remarkable thing to take to a party,
08:30but I think most people would go, he's a psychopath!
08:33LAUGHTER
08:35But is it more fun than Zoe Ball with a one-man band?
08:39Yeah, it is more fun than that, yeah.
08:42Two points to Zoe, three points to Steve.
08:45OK, got it.
08:45Now we're up with the big guns.
08:48LAUGHTER
08:48I always knew it would come to this.
08:51LAUGHTER
08:52I can't separate them.
08:54Five points each.
08:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:01Right, it's Papa Tash time.
09:03What have you got, Alex?
09:04Well, Papa Greg, it's time for some Papa Doms.
09:07LAUGHTER
09:21Ooh, food. Food and letters.
09:23Food, letters and a glass.
09:24Yes.
09:25Is this your sort of thing?
09:27Erm, Scrabble?
09:29Yeah.
09:30That's a coincidence, there's nothing like Scrabble.
09:32There's nothing like Scrabble?
09:33No.
09:34Do you use cloches a lot at home?
09:35No.
09:36Mum doesn't make milkshacks.
09:38She makes more like microwave meals and pot noodles.
09:40LAUGHTER
09:40Oh, I like something.
09:42What's under that?
09:43Oh.
09:45Ooh.
09:46Oh.
09:47Ooh!
09:48Are those Papa Doms?
09:49Maybe.
09:50I love a Papa Doms.
09:53I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?
09:55Eat these Papa Doms.
09:57Hurrah!
09:59After each mouthful,
10:01you must use a letter of the alphabet from your vocabulary.
10:03Then either compliment Greg or insult Alex.
10:07I don't want to insult you.
10:09I like to be insulted.
10:10Oh, you like to be insulted.
10:11OK.
10:12Your insults and compliments must all be different.
10:16If you use a loss letter at any time,
10:17ten grams will be added to your final Papa Doms weight.
10:21Most Papa Doms eat and wins.
10:24You have a maximum of ten minutes.
10:25Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle.
10:29Like, let's say if I got rid of eight,
10:30I can't say a word with eight in it.
10:32Mm-hm.
10:34What?!
10:34This is...
10:35This is a travesty!
10:38APPLAUSE
10:44Are you all Papa Doms fans?
10:46Uh-uh.
10:46Not anymore.
10:47Oh.
10:49Good.
10:49Well, I hope you've got some insults.
10:50So, I wrote a few down, uh, that you could have used.
10:53Wonky Tooth, Sesame Street character,
10:55Cry Baby Longneck, Andy Murray look-alike.
10:57These are just a few.
10:58Hair-covered horse dong.
11:00These are just some of you...
11:01..that you could have had.
11:02Shall we crack on?
11:03Yes.
11:04Our first two number crunches are...
11:06Deborah Meaden and Steve Backshaw.
11:09So, mouthful letter, insult.
11:18WHISTLE BLOWS
11:20Alex, I don't like your shoes.
11:26After every mouthful, you must lose a letter.
11:28OK, that's not even a mouthful.
11:30No.
11:31I haven't swallowed yet.
11:33Right, good to know.
11:34No.
11:36Is that not a mouthful?
11:37I haven't swallowed yet, but I am going to get my mouthful.
11:39No.
11:41Greg, you're my favourite comedian of all time.
11:44Zed is going in.
11:46Greg is a lovely man.
11:53Alex, that shirt needs a tie.
11:55I'm a serious businesswoman.
11:57I've heard that.
11:57I do deals every day.
11:59People take me very seriously.
12:05Greg, you are my perfect man.
12:07B.
12:08B.
12:08Alex is meaner than I thought.
12:12Wow.
12:14Oh.
12:17Is this how you do it in the restaurants, don't we?
12:23Alex, I never liked the horn section.
12:26Do you feel like they're coming quite naturally to you?
12:28Didn't have to work at that one.
12:32Mmm.
12:33Lovely.
12:34Lovely, you said.
12:35Did I say lovely?
12:39Are you happy with it?
12:40Water.
12:42Are these vegan?
12:43Alex, you will always be a sidekick.
12:46You seem to be enjoying.
12:47Um, do you...
12:54Moron?
12:56Lovely.
12:57You said the B word.
13:01We're into the final one minute, 40 seconds.
13:04OK.
13:07Is it over yet?
13:09It's not over.
13:1020 seconds.
13:13Um...
13:13Noobs.
13:17I only got a poppadom on one eyebrow.
13:23And that's your time up.
13:25Oh!
13:33Final image was quite powerful of you, Steve, there.
13:36Just the thought of poppadoms now makes me wretch.
13:40Yeah, rightly.
13:41Um, your insults were deliciously specific to Alex,
13:44and I know for a fact...
13:46..actually hurt his feet.
13:50I've never liked the horn section.
13:53LAUGHTER
13:54It's absolutely delicious.
13:56Five and a half poppadoms you got through in ten minutes,
13:58which is fast.
13:59It was very impressive.
14:00Deborah, was your strategy just to eat all the poppadoms?
14:05It was, actually.
14:06Did Deborah do any compliments or...?
14:08She did.
14:09She said I was nice, I think.
14:10I mean, they both actually made quite a few mistakes, unfortunately.
14:13So, every time you made a mistake,
14:1410 grams will be added to your total.
14:15You made 24 mistakes.
14:17I made 24 mistakes.
14:19Steve made 38.
14:20LAUGHTER
14:21If either of you had not even eaten anything,
14:23you would have done much better.
14:24LAUGHTER
14:26Incredible.
14:27All right.
14:27We're going to stop this treat for a few minutes.
14:29We'll see you back here shortly.
14:31APPLAUSE
14:40Hello!
14:42And welcome back to our New Year treat.
14:45What was happening before the break, please, Alex?
14:46We have a poppadom eating task in play,
14:48and so far Deborah and Steve forgot they weren't supposed to use
14:51the letters they'd removed from their vocabulary.
14:54And now for some more of the same,
14:55with Koji, Lenny and Zoe.
14:58Can I go get some water?
15:02First thing I'm going to do, please, sir, can I get a drink?
15:05You may.
15:05What is that?
15:05I'm going in, Hermie.
15:06I'm just checking.
15:08Oh!
15:09You absolute beauties!
15:11Still here, we're still here.
15:13Still smashing it up.
15:15There's something in...
15:16Is it sauces?
15:17Can I dip the...
15:18Oh!
15:20See, this is lovely.
15:28Yippee!
15:29I feel like one of those miniature monkeys.
15:31It's about to see a backflip.
15:33OK, OK.
15:35OK.
15:38We've lost the Z.
15:39Alex has...
15:40Weak knees?
15:42Weak knees?
15:43Yeah.
15:43You're a mean man.
15:45Mm-hm.
15:46I didn't like your hoodie this morning.
15:48Really?
15:49Yeah.
15:54Alex.
15:55You're so hairy.
15:59There's no fingers.
16:03Wait...
16:04It says eat the papadums.
16:06Doesn't say who has to.
16:15Alex, you look so sweaty!
16:18Hairy and sweaty.
16:18It's got yourself out.
16:21Oh!
16:22Oh, my God!
16:24I'm losing sand on my right.
16:27I feel like I'm losing a lot of points
16:33Smells good. Have you met him in my head? It smells like peck over bond
16:46Sauce pops calling Gregor's
16:58I
17:02There's one thing I've learned in my years of watching this show that it's I know you'll put anything
17:20My taste
17:26It's melting melting
17:34Well, I feel quite hurt
17:41I think this is your problem in the context of this stupid show Zoe. You're too nice
17:47Do you want me to help you?
17:48I'll write an insult that for you to say to Alex. Okay. I think it's just training just to bring
17:54out your dark side
17:58Hi Zoe
17:59You wank flap
18:00There
18:00Yes
18:02That was crazy, isn't it?
18:04Thank you for that
18:08Apologies to Lenny's parents
18:10I hear a lot worse from me mum trying
18:12I hear a lot worse from me mum trying
18:16Lenny, you did throw a few nice insults
18:18And when you said pig
18:19Go
18:22We didn't include all your compliments
18:23There were some pretty good ones to you lovely hair wonderful posture perfect hot fab fit muscle
18:30You know it
18:31You know it
18:32Thank you
18:32I felt that the moment you discovered the dipping sauce is that you lost total interest in this task
18:41I feel you were just there for a meal
18:44To be fair, I've always wanted to feed things to Alex
18:47So much so that I had the moment
18:50Commemorated into a t-shirt
18:51No
18:55APPLAUSE
18:59Yeah, yeah, yeah
19:00So in the end, eating the propaganda was kind of irrelevant
19:03It was all about how many mistakes they made
19:04We knew Deborah 24, actually the least mistakes Deborah
19:07Compared to 38 for Steve, 56 for Zoe
19:1085 by you Lenny
19:11And 131
19:15I think that's magnificent
19:17Koji produced 97 poppadoms
19:19Comes in last place, you get one point
19:22Lenny produced 64
19:23Zoe 41
19:25Steve 24
19:26Deborah only produced 15 poppadoms in the end
19:29So she gets five points
19:30There it is
19:30Here we go
19:34Can we have a look at a lovely big scoreboard, Alex?
19:36All right, it's close
19:37We have two people in joint third
19:39And two people in joint first
19:40And that's Lenny and Steve
19:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:44I'm expecting that
19:47On the go
19:48OK, and just like the time you caught me drawing you in the shower
19:52This one involves an awkward portrait
20:07It makes me feel important
20:09Makes me feel important
20:09You are important, Steve
20:10Not used to seeing my name in lights
20:12Well, I've got quite a serious question to ask you, Lenny
20:14All right
20:15Can I ask you a, well, quite a personal question, Deborah?
20:18You can, I might not answer it
20:19How long does it take you to eat an orange?
20:22How long does it take you to eat an orange?
20:24Erm
20:25Might want to give myself a bit of extra time
20:27Considering where I am
20:28What kind of show this is
20:29This isn't part of the show
20:30This is just a general
20:31I don't believe you, Alex
20:34I'm going to go for three minutes
20:37Three minutes
20:39Ten minutes?
20:40Ten minutes
20:40Four minutes and 45 seconds
20:44Is that your final answer?
20:46Six minutes and 23 seconds
20:50OK
20:51Er, I reckon I could do an orange in about 45 seconds
20:54That's pretty cool
20:55It's one of my special talents
20:57OK
20:57You can open the task now
20:59OK
21:00Draw a picture of yourself eating some fruit on this tablet
21:04You may not touch the touch screen with any part of your hands
21:09You have as long as it takes you to eat an orange
21:15On reflection, I reckon it could take me over an hour
21:20Also throughout the task, you must become increasingly angry
21:24Your time starts now
21:27Are you going to keep shouting times at me?
21:29Yeah, I'll make sure you get angry
21:31Yeah
21:31Don't worry about that
21:32Oh, that's going to be easy
21:39I'm intrigued by Steve's orange-eating arrogance
21:42I honestly thought that I was being challenged as to how fast I could eat an orange
21:46But it felt to me like you've timed yourself eating oranges before
21:49Like it was something I've done in the past and gone, yeah
21:51Have you?
21:52No
21:55Deborah has this amazing ability in any situation to seem like she's in charge
22:00It's quite a skill
22:01And he doesn't like it, he doesn't like strong women
22:03OK
22:07Right
22:08Let's have a look
22:09OK, do you want me to show you all of them creating at once?
22:12Yeah, man
22:13Here we go
22:14What makes, erm...
22:16What makes something move on here?
22:18Not that
22:19The time starts...
22:21Now
22:25Oh, wow!
22:26I can do it with my nose
22:27There's a banana here
22:28Bananas are like...fingers
22:31It's gone blank
22:32Hmm
22:34Oh, now it's your hand
22:35I think I might have to shut my eyes though
22:37Oh, OK
22:38Oh, I've got to get angry as well
22:40It's a terrible drawing and I hate it
22:42Shoulders
22:43Your anger should start creeping into it
22:45Shoulders
22:48I don't like that
22:50He was standing over my shoulder going
22:51Right
22:52Mm-hmm
22:54Dreading my...
22:55Excessive confidence with orange eating
22:58Yeah, you've got six seconds left, Steve
22:59Grr!
23:00This is...
23:01Hard work
23:04It's not straight, it's not straight
23:06I was about to get really angry
23:09Ahhhh
23:10Oh, well
23:12I feel like King Kardashian or something
23:14I've got massive lips
23:15Is that OK?
23:17Is that OK?
23:18Yeah, that's OK
23:18Good, good
23:19A minute left
23:20Is it clinking rude to invite people onto Taskmaster?
23:24I'm going to go back with a big red nose
23:26I cannot tell you how irritating it is
23:28Rubbing my nose against...
23:29I don't know where that came from
23:30I have no idea where that came from
23:32I have no idea where that came from
23:33Rrrr!
23:34Rrrr!
23:35I've had enough
23:35Do you know what?
23:36Because he's so angry
23:37Laserbeams
23:38Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew
23:40And it feels like you're getting less angry
23:43Rrrr!
23:44And, er, I could be doing better things in my time right now
23:48Darn it
23:49You pesky horn
23:52Can I end on a happy note?
23:54Because I'm actually quite pleased with my picture
23:56Rrrr!
23:57That was so loud!
24:02Rrrr!
24:06I was just feeling guilty about characterising you as just perennially cheerful all the time
24:10Oh, my God
24:10And then I watch a video of you going grrrr!
24:15There was lots about Laddie's attempt that I enjoy
24:17But there's just a still of you that I asked Alex for while we were watching of you too
24:22And I just think it's so funny if you take it out of the context of this show
24:26If you just saw this, what the hell would you think was going on?
24:31LAUGHTER
24:36I mean, someone's going to get arrested off the back of this
24:38It is indeed
24:39It is indeed
24:41OK, let's see some stuff
24:43OK, well, he only had 45 seconds but Steve managed to paint this with his nose
24:49LAUGHTER
24:55I mean, in 45 seconds that you took the time to give yourself a six-pack
25:00LAUGHTER
25:01It is incredible
25:02And a really smug smile as well
25:04LAUGHTER
25:05Isn't that supposed to be eating fruit?
25:07There's supposed to be fruit in the picture, yeah, that was the only thing missing
25:09Unless you can claim any of that is fruit
25:11Blueberries?
25:13LAUGHTER
25:14It's not bad in 45 seconds, Steve, fair play
25:17Let's have a look at Zoe Ball's picture
25:19Here we go
25:22LAUGHTER
25:23LAUGHTER
25:24It was spectacular!
25:26Oh, my God!
25:27It's so disturbing!
25:29What are you putting in your mouth?
25:30It's watermelon, Steve!
25:32It's watermelon!
25:34Look, it's got pips in it!
25:35Why have you aged yourself by 60 years?
25:37LAUGHTER
25:38I was really proud of that!
25:41Don't take it from me!
25:42It's good!
25:43Lovely melon!
25:45What?
25:45Let's stop for a bit
25:46Alex, do you want to throw to the abs?
25:48OK
25:51APPLAUSE
26:00Hello!
26:01Welcome back!
26:02It might be cold outside, but Taskmaster will keep you warm
26:05Warmed by the red-hot heat of old Grandfather Task
26:09LAUGHTER
26:11Before the break
26:13Before the break
26:14Before the break
26:14The Famous Five were making self-portraits on an iPad
26:16without using their hands
26:17So let's see some more results
26:19starting with Koji's radical picture
26:23Ooh!
26:25That's good!
26:25You can see the laser beams if you look closely
26:28That's a strawberry, I mean a strawberry
26:29And in your mind
26:31Mm-hm
26:31The character jumped into the air and his legs fell off or...?
26:34LAUGHTER
26:35I was like, it's a self-portrait and I was sitting at a table
26:38Yeah
26:38So the rest of my legs are under the table
26:40Yeah
26:41But it's, erm, er, abstract
26:43LAUGHTER
26:45Next up, I'm going to show you Lenny's rushed self-portrait
26:49LAUGHTER
26:50Kim Kardashian with a banana
26:52I changed to a pair but obviously I'm quite small
26:55so the pair is very...
26:56Like, that's actually what a pair is like to me
26:59LAUGHTER
27:02Very clever
27:05Who's next?
27:06Er, the final one, fresh from the dragon's pen
27:09Here is Deborah's masterpiece
27:11Here we go
27:13LAUGHTER
27:14LAUGHTER
27:18Well, I went abstract too
27:20LAUGHTER
27:21Is it you eating fruit but being watched from a bird hide?
27:26LAUGHTER
27:26Right at the very end she managed to press a button with her nose
27:28that created quite a big black, er, layer over the top
27:32but we have managed to take that layer off
27:34because you were eating a banana in the picture you came
27:36Yeah
27:37And this is what you did before covering it up
27:40LAUGHTER
27:42Much better, much, much better
27:45LAUGHTER
27:52Oh dear, he's up
27:54What's this?
27:56LAUGHTER
27:57I don't know, my tongue
27:59I have a very long tongue
28:01You've got a long tongue?
28:02I've got a long tongue
28:03LAUGHTER
28:03I'll show you later
28:04Say later
28:06CHEERING
28:07CHEERING
28:08CHEERING
28:08CHEERING
28:11APPLAUSE
28:12Oh dear
28:13All right, Greg, I'm going to show you all five
28:15I mean, it's obviously Deborah's that's the worst
28:18LAUGHTER
28:18Just because it doesn't look remotely like you, Deborah
28:21or a person
28:24or someone eating fruit
28:26So one point to Deborah
28:27We'll give Steve two points
28:29because there's, er, no visible fruit there
28:32Sorry, Lenny, I think I'm going to give you three points
28:34I like Granny Ball
28:35even though Zoe did seemingly draw it
28:38while she was on the trampolines
28:40And then, of course, Koji's masterpiece takes the five points
28:44There you go
28:44APPLAUSE
28:44All right, so that's right
28:45Thank you, everyone
28:46APPLAUSE
28:47Two, four, five
28:49APPLAUSE
28:50Please can I see one more task
28:56BUZZER
29:04BUZZER
29:05BUZZER
29:06BUZZER
29:07BUZZER
29:07BUZZER
29:07BUZZER
29:07BUZZER
29:08BUZZER
29:08BUZZER
29:08BUZZER
29:08BUZZER
29:08BUZZER
29:09Alex?
29:10Koji?
29:10In there?
29:11Please enter the space ball
29:12Hello?
29:13Please enter the oxygen chamber
29:15The oxygen chamber?
29:16Maybe
29:17Thunderdome?
29:18Thunderdome, sorry, yes
29:19Please enter the Thunderdome
29:20Sorry, Deborah
29:20Right
29:22There's a task within a task
29:24Hang on a minute
29:25It's a pop-up task
29:27Ah!
29:28Of course!
29:29Right
29:29You're taking a piss
29:30Ha!
29:32This is doing nothing for my trust issues
29:35Make these things pop when the timer hits zero
29:39Make these things pop when the timer hits zero
29:42Toast
29:43Popper
29:44Monster
29:45Jack
29:46Gum
29:46Cedar
29:47Cuckoo
29:49Bubble
29:49And balloon
29:50Missing a balloon
29:52Oh! Shortest time between first and last pop wins
29:58Yeah, 15 minutes
29:59Yeah, 15 minutes
30:00And your time starts now
30:03And it has to pop at 15 minutes
30:05Uh-huh, everything
30:06There are nine things there, Koji
30:08So you're aiming for them all to pop in 15 minutes time?
30:11Yeah
30:11At the same time, ideally
30:12Oh, so have I got a test?
30:13You can do as much testing as you want
30:15Oh, I see
30:16But you've only got those pieces of bread
30:17No
30:17And only one balloon
30:21Huh?
30:24APPLAUSE
30:29Do you want to explain the rules now?
30:31Yes, Koji
30:32So...
30:33LAUGHTER
30:34It is slightly complicated
30:36I've done a little graphic for you
30:37There are 15 minutes until the clock hits zero
30:41They want all their pops to happen at the same time as that
30:44But the closer the pops are together, around the clock hitting zero, the better
30:48Let's begin
30:49Here is Lenny, Stevie and someone who doesn't like being called Debbie
30:53Here we go
30:54LAUGHTER
30:58I think the first thing I want to try is the toast
31:00I don't actually know how toasters work
31:03LAUGHTER
31:05So you're pre-toasting the toast, are you?
31:07Yes
31:07OK
31:08And then it's going to be toasty toast
31:10I think it's speech operated
31:12I have to talk to the toaster?
31:15Go
31:15Go down
31:16APPLAUSE
31:20She's not
31:21No, I'm not sure it is, actually
31:24LAUGHTER
31:26I'll just take...
31:28Oh, that's a really quick one
31:33Don't like these
31:36Oh, God, I don't like you
31:39I need to wind that with one hand
31:43Maybe I should take that down
31:45Oh, actually, can you just do that?
31:46Oh, look, look, look, I can just do that
31:48OK, how many hands have I got?
31:50OK
31:52Three minutes and counting
31:54How does this pop?
31:56That's a cat feeder, Lenny
31:57Oh
31:57So I thought they were minutes
31:59No
32:00Not minutes
32:01It's hours, isn't it?
32:02If I give it the smallest
32:04Oh
32:05Oh
32:06That's OK
32:08Oh
32:08Oh, wow
32:10That's dramatic
32:16Oh, I forgot to chew bubblegum
32:17To turn it into a bubble?
32:19Yeah
32:20Put it all in, have you?
32:21All in one go
32:22Yeah
32:22Go home, go home
32:25That's good
32:26OK, that's good, let's go
32:28Where's the balloon happening?
32:37Ah, it's there
32:39OK, so I don't want to pop that yet
32:42Can you let me know when there's ten seconds left?
32:44So you're doing everything in the last ten seconds, I like it
32:46Yes
32:47You're well doing that
32:48OK, toast is going down
32:49That's both going down
32:50The next pops are the real pops, is that right?
32:52That's right
32:5530 seconds
32:56I can do this
33:0125 seconds
33:07I can go down there
33:1010 seconds
33:14Um
33:26Oh
33:27Oh
33:27Don't
33:29Oh
33:32Oh
33:42Yay!
33:44Amazing
33:48Oh my God
33:49My hands are so sleepy
33:52Am I doing the right thing?
33:54Oh
33:54That popped
33:55That popped
33:56One more thing hasn't popped yet
33:57Well it hasn't popped
33:58That popped
33:59That's popped
34:00What's not popped?
34:03You've done everything Lenny
34:05What's not popped?
34:06Cuckoo feeder
34:07Feeder
34:08That
34:09That?
34:11Correct
34:13Is that it?
34:14You may leave
34:15You may need to chew bubblegum
34:16My mother is going to be so cross with you
34:25I mean Steve just seems like he's a professional popper
34:29I've had an advantage in that I've used a toaster before
34:37Yeah, but do you sometimes think with all of your success you may have lost Touchless?
34:44We have an Arga
34:45That's not going to help
34:46In my defence
34:48I didn't know you couldn't talk to toasters
34:50You can't talk to toasters
34:53I mean it's a good job this isn't the sort of show that would replay that moment so that it
34:58haunts you forever
35:00This one?
35:01Yeah
35:02Go down
35:11I mean you were really good as well I thought but the thing that intrigued me is you didn't know
35:17what was inside that cat feeder and the moment you saw what was inside it you started eating
35:23I like a little gremlin
35:24I like a little gremlin
35:26I don't know
35:27Good
35:27I want some times
35:28I mean obviously Steve was the fastest of the three his window was just 18 seconds to pop all nine
35:33things
35:33Oh
35:34Lenny and Deborah were very similar with their times unfortunately for Deborah she didn't spot the feeder
35:38So Lenny took 50 seconds altogether Deborah 72 which is not bad
35:42And you think that not seeing the feeder is going to be the thing that Deborah regrets most about that
35:46task
35:48Go down
35:53Just one part to go who will take home some candy sticks and squash and some enormous golden eyebrows you'll
35:59find out very soon
36:10Welcome back to the final part of the show where another new year treat is almost over
36:15Yes, and I suppose that also means we're all that little bit closer to the end of our lives
36:21Before the break the cars were trying to synchronize their nine items to pop as close to zero as possible
36:26That's the task so obviously you're going to start as close to zero as possible
36:31I mean who wouldn't who wouldn't start as close to zero as possible
36:37It's Koji and Zoe
36:39Okay, so you just want to set the clock
36:42Ah! No!
36:44It's not very sweet, very sweet
36:47That's 15. That's not doing anything
36:49That's shit
36:52Okay, so that's
36:53Oh! No, it's in the touch
36:55There's three pieces of bubble gum there
36:56Yeah, Alex
36:58Please
37:00Okay, yeah
37:01Why do they always make you jump?
37:03That's not happening, is it?
37:04I've never been able to blow a bubble since I've ever
37:06Spit it out
37:06Spit it out
37:07It's sickening
37:08How long have I got left?
37:10Six minutes twenty
37:10Six minutes
37:12So if I put that on
37:13Six minutes and a bit
37:18What do you want?
37:20And then you could do
37:22Well
37:23The balloon as well
37:25I've got too many things to press, Alex
37:27No, I see the problems
37:29So the plan is just
37:30Do it all
37:31It's like a drum solo
37:38Can't wait
37:39This is still stuck on six
37:41It's going to feed the cat in six hours
37:43Yeah, right
37:44Hang on, no
37:48Something's going
37:49Oh, shit
37:51It's going to get bigger
37:52Uh-huh
37:53Okay, cool
37:54That's gone
37:55That's the first pot
37:56First pot
37:57How much time have I got left on the thing?
37:58Well, three minutes
37:59One minute to go
38:00Okay
38:01Let's just try for at least
38:03Ah!
38:04Ah!
38:05Ah!
38:06One
38:07Two
38:08Not at the same time
38:10Yay!
38:12He just came straight out
38:14I don't know what that
38:15Toast
38:16I don't know what that
38:17Is it toast?
38:18That's toast
38:19That can never be bread
38:20Put this back in the bag
38:21People think you're a nut
38:23Toast
38:23Alright
38:27That's a wet fart
38:29Disgusting
38:38Lovely
38:40A, B, C, D, L, M and P, QRS, straight to the TVV, W, X, Y and Z, now I
38:46know my ABCs
38:47WHISTLE
38:48WHISTLE
38:49Everything has popped
38:50Ah!
38:51Except my career
38:52Thanks, Zoe
38:53Thank you
38:54You can take them with you if you want
38:55Take my toast
38:56That's all I have
38:57I have no dignity left
38:59I have two pieces of toast
39:02I have no idea
39:03I have no idea
39:04I have no idea
39:05I have no idea
39:06I have no idea
39:07I have no idea
39:07I have no idea
39:07Well I thought in the build-up to it
39:14You looked like you had it all under control
39:16Yeah
39:16I made a list
39:17I tried to back time it
39:19Made a list
39:19And then
39:20Well what I have written down is
39:21When Zoe's attempt started
39:23It looked like a woman falling down some stairs
39:30Oh dear
39:31It was good toast though
39:32It was good toast
39:33It was good toast
39:33I did so bad
39:34I just
39:34Well I don't know what happened there, Coachy
39:36But you told the cat feeder it was shit
39:40You said that Alex sickened you
39:41And you appeared to have beef with a mechanical cuckoo
39:45I got a lot done
39:46I mean you wrote a song as well
39:51That's got to be worth saying
39:51Yeah, no, not point-wise
39:53Definitely not
39:55OK, well we know that so far
39:56Deborah's in third was 72
39:58Neither of you two did better than that, of course
40:01Koji, your window was 3 minutes 31
40:03Zoe, the cat feeder, finally went off
40:0524 minutes after the phone
40:08So a single point to Zoe
40:10Two to Koji
40:11Three to Deborah
40:11Four to Lenny
40:12But five to Steve Bakshel
40:16That meant Steve is joint first with Lenny on 14 points
40:21Wow
40:22It's OK
40:25OK, everyone, just one more thing to do
40:28Please stay where you are
40:30Ooh
40:31While Alex and I make our way to the stage for the final task of the show
40:35Ooh
40:44Who will be reading the task out?
40:47Deborah Meaden, please
40:48OK
40:50Say whether the item will fit through the hole or not fit through the hole
40:55If you get it right, you lose an egg
40:57And the fewest eggs remaining wins
40:59OK
41:00OK
41:01Any questions?
41:03No
41:06Greg, shall we head over to the first item?
41:08Together
41:13Here we are
41:14That's not going to help those rumours on the internet
41:17Shall I present?
41:21Will the duck bring them luck?
41:25Well, that's good
41:26We've got two yeses and three noes
41:28It's time to thrust
41:29Next
41:30LAUGHTER
41:31Whoa
41:33Whoa
41:34Whoa
41:35Yeah
41:36We need two correct answers
41:39Discard your eggs, koji and lemon
41:42Second item, it's a triangular hole, but what's the item?
41:47Yes
41:48Oh
41:48Whoa
41:49Whoa
41:51Will the pan?
41:52Yes, it can
41:53Or not
41:53LAUGHTER
41:54One yes
41:56Two noes
41:57Another yes
41:58Another yes
41:59It's time to thrust
42:01Oh
42:04Oh
42:05Oh
42:05Sideways
42:06Oh
42:07Oh
42:07Hooray
42:09CHEERING
42:09CHEERING
42:11Whoo
42:12Oh, nice
42:13Let's roll
42:13APPLAUSE
42:16Can Zoe Ball just hit someone with an egg?
42:18Sorry
42:19Sorry
42:19Jesus Christ, Zoe Ball's gone into full meltdown
42:23They've all lost one egg, Greg
42:25Ooooo
42:26Ooooo
42:26Ooooo
42:27Ooooo
42:28Will the cone find its way home?
42:32Ooooo
42:34Ooooo
42:34Ooooo
42:35Ooooo
42:35Ooooo
42:36Ooooo
42:36Ooooo
42:37Ooooo
42:38Ooooo
42:38Ooooo
42:40It genuinely won't go through
42:41Won't go through it? You can all discard an egg, well done
42:47Ooooo
42:48Ooooo
42:49Ooooo
42:49Ooooo
42:49Will the melon be a hero or Felun?
42:52ìœê°
42:54UW
42:54Ooooo
42:57Ooooo
42:57Ooooo
42:58Ooooo
42:58Ooooo
42:59Ooooo
43:01It's a... it's a Squeezy melon
43:04Ooooo
43:05Ooooo
43:06CHEERING
43:08You know what, Pierre?
43:10Goji's cross.
43:11I'm not sure he's as cross as Lenny, you know.
43:15Lovely window. What's behind it?
43:21Give it a squish.
43:25See you at the BAFTAs.
43:28OK, we've got no, no, no, no, yes for ball.
43:31Ball on ball. Will it go through?
43:32Oh, no!
43:38Everyone but Zoe can discard it.
43:42What's it love?
43:43Will the crap go through the gap?
43:47They've all gone for the same answer.
43:55I'm working for you.
43:56I'm working for you.
43:59OK.
43:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:02Will the balloon be coming soon?
44:06Ooh, now then.
44:07Four no's and one yes for Koji Radical.
44:10Oh!
44:10It's time for us.
44:11Oh!
44:14Oh!
44:16Oh!
44:16Oh!
44:16Oh!
44:18Two rock winning breaks!
44:21Everyone but Koji may discard an egg.
44:23OK, it's the chair-shaped hole,
44:25but what's he going to be putting through it?
44:27Oh!
44:28Oh, I wonder.
44:29LAUGHTER
44:30Actually, will the chair fix me there?
44:33Radical says...
44:34No.
44:36Oh!
44:39It's nearly there!
44:41Will it go?
44:42No!
44:43No!
44:44Yes!
44:46Yes!
44:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:50Only Steve and Zoe got that one right.
44:52Probably a little worrying I'm out of breath, isn't it?
44:55LAUGHTER
44:55So, now, everyone look at this little hole here.
44:58Go, go, go, go, go!
45:01What are we going to be poking through that hole?
45:03Ooh!
45:04Ooh!
45:05But for who?
45:08Will that be good or will it be folly?
45:10Let's see, will I thrust the brolly?
45:12LAUGHTER
45:15Only Lenny has gone for no.
45:17Oh, no.
45:18Ooh!
45:21Ooh!
45:26Shove it!
45:27No!
45:28It's a no!
45:29Oh!
45:33Lenny and Steve, neck and neck, four eggs left each.
45:36Koji, heartbroken.
45:39What's the final what?
45:40Well, you can pick up the final item if you want.
45:42Ooh!
45:44Ooh!
45:45Ooh!
45:47Will little Alex Horne be reborn?
45:51LAUGHTER
45:54You can make it.
45:55We have four yeses, one no.
45:58Ooh!
45:59Ooh!
46:02Ooh!
46:03Ooh!
46:06Ooh!
46:08Ooh!
46:08Ooh!
46:10Ooh!
46:12Ooh!
46:14He did not fit through!
46:18Good.
46:19We'll add that to the final scores and see what's happened.
46:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:28Well, well, well.
46:29So, Koji, I'm afraid you got the fewest answers right.
46:33You had the most eggs at the end, so you get one point.
46:35Aww.
46:36Let's just enjoy Koji's face for a bit.
46:39LAUGHTER
46:39In joint third in that round, Deborah and Zoe both got half of them right,
46:45five, which means they get three points each.
46:47In second place, six correct answers were Steve,
46:49but Lenny got seven, so he gets five points.
46:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:54And so...
46:56And so the final scores look a little bit like this.
47:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:03Lenny Rush wins!
47:06A new year's treat!
47:08Please head up to the stage and then lift a lot your golden eyebrows.
47:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:16Have yourselves a brilliant year and we'll see you again very soon.
47:21For now, here's the winner of this special night.
47:23It's Lenny!
47:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:32AND APPLAUSE
47:32AND APPLAUSE
47:34AND APPLAUSE
47:43AND APPLAUSE
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